1 00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:04,800 Hey kids, it's time for adventure 2 00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:07,920 at Rusty's Day Camp For Boy Adventurers 3 00:00:08,040 --> 00:00:09,720 The largest privately run day camp... 4 00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:11,840 for budding super scientists in the area. 5 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:14,920 Learn adventuring from pros like action Johnny... 6 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:17,320 Master Billy Quiz-boy, and of course me... 7 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:21,400 Rusty Venture, star of the Rusty Venture cartoon. 8 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:22,840 Tell mom you need excitement. 9 00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,880 Tell dad you need a cashier's check. 10 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:26,800 And we'll see you there. 11 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:31,640 At Rusty's Day Camp for Boy Adventurers! 12 00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,440 Makes me feel warm and fuzzy... 13 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:38,480 just trying to give back to the fans that made me. 14 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:41,600 These kids paid $200 bucks a head to get in here... 15 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:44,320 and then you charge the another 20 to get their picture taken... 16 00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:45,800 with a cardboard cutout. 17 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,760 I'm not sure that qualifies as "giving back." 18 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:50,200 Alright, keep it down. 19 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:52,120 I don't want my fans to know how mean you are to their hero. 20 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:55,720 That's right, it's Rusty Venture! 21 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:57,160 When do we eat, Sam? 22 00:00:57,280 --> 00:01:00,440 We wouldn't stopped for a cruller if we knew you were gonna starve us. 23 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,080 Oh, those are underrated. 24 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:04,760 There are fully stocked vending machines right next to the gift shack. 25 00:01:04,880 --> 00:01:07,960 Why don't you two get yourself an eight-dollar bag of combos? 26 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:11,040 Whew! Wowzie, some people just shouldn't breed. 27 00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:12,480 Those are some ugly kids. 28 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:13,920 Kids? You're kidding, right? 29 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:15,760 They're achondroplastic dwarves. 30 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:17,480 And they're almost as good as you or I... 31 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:19,600 and they deserve this camp as much as any other kid here. 32 00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,200 Such a racist. 33 00:01:21,320 --> 00:01:24,240 - They're not really a race, Doc. - Will you listen to yourself, Hitler. 34 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:26,800 Well, not really a Boy Adventurer. 35 00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:28,280 Well, why are you even here? 36 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:29,800 Because you have a big head? 37 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,680 Hey! All celebrities have large heads. 38 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,240 You ever see Christina Ricci in real life? 39 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:36,040 - So what are you? - I'm a Quiz Boy. 40 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,840 It's a seriously underrated branch of boy genius. 41 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:40,280 Quiz boy? 42 00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:41,800 You don't really look like a little kid. 43 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:45,080 Come on. OK, fine, I'm 35 years old. You happy? 44 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:47,800 I'm neither Boy, nor Adventurer. Brilliant. 45 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:51,600 You. You solved the case of "Let's hurt the unpaid volunteer's feelings." 46 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,040 Pretty smart kid. 47 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:54,480 You know what you're gonna be? 48 00:01:54,600 --> 00:01:57,400 I'm gonna be a Boy Adventurer like Rusty Venture! 49 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:00,440 What is "wrong"! You, my friend, are gonna be a Quiz Boy 50 00:02:00,560 --> 00:02:03,880 - No, I won't. - I'll take "yes you are" for 50 points. 51 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:06,440 We can't all be famous Adventurers. 52 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:09,880 That doesn't mean you have to be out of the adventure game altogether. 53 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:13,120 - You mean, become a super villain? - Shiver me timbers, no! 54 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,440 I'm talking about the rubber mask set. 55 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,080 The little guys. 56 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:20,200 - Do we get to wear cool costumes? - You bet you do! 57 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:23,720 If you run a museum you get yourself a glowing suit of armor. 58 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,160 You wanna protect your gold from meddling kids... 59 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,600 you might try a ghost miner 49er. 60 00:02:28,720 --> 00:02:30,440 Look at me. I look like Johnny Depp! 61 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:33,480 Oh, and that's not all. 62 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:35,120 Sometimes you get to hang out with people 63 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,480 who were famous once, like Cher... 64 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:40,160 and the guy that did the voice for Inspector Gadget! 65 00:02:40,280 --> 00:02:42,680 "What are you guys doing? You're on monarch time!" 66 00:02:43,160 --> 00:02:44,720 You snack off the clock! 67 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:49,040 Wait, see if they have that in a medium. That's hilarious. 68 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:51,160 "Honey, have you seen Tim-Tom and Kevin?" 69 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:54,040 Your Murderous Moppets? I sent them out on a... thing. 70 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:56,960 "Monarch, you're not arching Dr. Venture in there, are you?" 71 00:02:57,320 --> 00:03:00,600 What? No, no, sweetie. This is reconnaissance work... 72 00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:04,120 - Pr-preemptive Arching. - Isn't that just arching? 73 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:07,320 Well, maybe if you're retarded it... man of manatee! 74 00:03:07,440 --> 00:03:10,520 - Where did you get that number? - You like it? 75 00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:14,240 It's a prototype for my Dr. Mrs. The Monarch costume. 76 00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:17,080 I don't want to be picky... but you're gonna trip on those wings. 77 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,200 And aren't you a little afraid that your cupcakes might slide out? 78 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:21,680 Whatever, they're taped. 79 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:24,120 I'm more worried that it makes my ass look chunky. 80 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:25,720 Oh dear... 81 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:31,160 Come here, sit on your king's ever expanding throne. 82 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:32,600 What is that? 83 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:35,280 No doubt a recruitment facility cleverly disguised... 84 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:37,800 "as like, the gayest day camp ever." 85 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:40,440 What's that? It's huge! 86 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:43,120 - It can't be a kid. - Dean, that's a teenager. 87 00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:46,400 But... but, we don't look like that. Oh, crap! He's coming over here. 88 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:49,640 - I gotta go. - Dude, what is your problem? 89 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:52,040 - Hey. - Hey. 90 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:54,120 Your mom make you come to this loser con, too? 91 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:56,760 - I don't have a mommy. - So what, I don't have a dad. 92 00:03:56,880 --> 00:03:59,280 He was in black ops. Probably went undercover to kill somebody. 93 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:00,920 Hey, what was that nerdy kid's problem? 94 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:04,400 That's my brother, Dean. He's never seen another teenage boy before. 95 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:06,920 Hey, how many of you got fathers out there? 96 00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:08,520 Show of hands. 97 00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:11,240 You! Why is your hand not up, man? 98 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:14,160 What? No father? You don't look like Jesus, bro. 99 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,920 My daddy died while I was sleeping. 100 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:20,080 Oh, well, you had a father... and now you're fuckin' free, man. 101 00:04:20,200 --> 00:04:22,960 Let's go! Come on! I wanna see all those hands up! 102 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:25,840 Oh, wait, Action Johnny's hand isn't up. 103 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:27,480 Why is that? 104 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:29,600 Does he not have a father? 105 00:04:29,720 --> 00:04:32,560 No! Fathers are caring and protective men. 106 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:35,880 And I don't have one of those. No. No, but who cares? 107 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,520 Who cares, who cares, who cares, who cares? 108 00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,120 Maybe I did kill the dog. 109 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:45,600 Maybe I was the lizard man that stole your precious serum. 110 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:48,880 You loved that serum more than you loved me. 111 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:53,000 Father! 112 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:55,760 I liked him better when he was strung out. 113 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,880 Poor bastard. I can't believe you got him to do this. 114 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,320 I know. You should read his rider. 115 00:05:00,440 --> 00:05:03,440 He requested 20 bars of Lever 2000, one bottle of Crystal... 116 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:06,240 one bottle of Dom Perignon, and two cases of Tropicana Twisters. 117 00:05:06,360 --> 00:05:08,920 Right. Who was that, Van Halen? 118 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:11,080 No, that was Sean Puffy Combs Daddy. 119 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:12,880 Hey, Pop, can I show my new friend my bedroom? 120 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:15,040 I've never had a friend in there. 121 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,320 Ya know, Pop, I've never even had a friend. 122 00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:19,160 Hank! Stop calling me "Pop"! 123 00:05:19,280 --> 00:05:21,040 If these kids find out that their hero has had sex... 124 00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,040 - their heads will explode. - But I want to show my new... 125 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:26,080 This isn't all about you, Hank. These kids want to see Rusty Venture. 126 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:29,040 Maybe when there's a cartoon called The Venture Brothers... 127 00:05:29,160 --> 00:05:30,480 it'll be different. 128 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:33,880 Hey Hank, I could sure use your help with my judo class. 129 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:37,080 I can't do it without your ukemi. 130 00:05:37,240 --> 00:05:39,520 I'll go change into my Gi! 131 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:43,280 - Smooth, Doc. - Wait till you have kids of your own. 132 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:46,960 Killing Blackulas with a sword is cool. 133 00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:48,880 But do you know what's really cool? 134 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,280 - Safety! - The Order Of The Triad... 135 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:54,240 has a lot of strange and dangerous enemies. 136 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:56,080 Enemies of safety! 137 00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,560 One of our enemies is invisible! 138 00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:01,720 And he can enter any home through the ground. 139 00:06:01,840 --> 00:06:04,760 He's in your home now... waiting for you in the basement. 140 00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:06,320 His name is Radon! 141 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,880 - And he will give you lung cancer. - Lung cancer? 142 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:12,280 - But Al, I don't smoke. - Of course you don't, Jefferson. 143 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:15,840 Because smoking is more evil than the hoary Denizens of the underworld. 144 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,480 And if you smoked, we'd know it... 145 00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:21,000 because we have a smoke detector in every room. 146 00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:22,760 With fresh batteries! 147 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:27,160 Remember, if a smoke detector doesn't work, the silence... 148 00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:28,960 Could be deadly! 149 00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:34,160 - When did we lose them? - That was my fault. 150 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,360 I really hit them with that Radon part. 151 00:06:36,480 --> 00:06:37,800 We never get to my song! 152 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,640 Alright, you really gotta pound that hip in there. 153 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:44,160 Break his balance. You can't just pull the guy over. 154 00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:46,200 You have to roll him over your hip. 155 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:47,640 What's that throw called? 156 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:49,080 That one's called o-goshi. 157 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,520 You mean O-gay-shi. 158 00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:52,200 You guys look like a couple of bonobo chimps. 159 00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:53,920 - What? - O-gay-shi... 160 00:06:54,080 --> 00:06:56,000 Somebody pulls that ridiculous move on me... 161 00:06:56,120 --> 00:07:00,400 I'd land my inside axe kick on their face. I call it the widow-maker. 162 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,160 If I, like, kick a guy married with it. 163 00:07:02,320 --> 00:07:06,560 Alright. Maybe you wanna come up here and show us some of your technique. 164 00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:08,240 Yeah, you wish. 165 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,480 Too bad I had to register my hands and instep... 166 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:13,360 as lethal weapons. The friggin' government made me do that. 167 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:15,200 What are you...? 168 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:19,240 - Kid, seriously? Are you for real? - Brock, are your feet registered? 169 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:22,560 Nobody's are. They don't even do that. This kid's insane. 170 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,200 Yeah, that's right. You better walk away... 171 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:26,920 I'm not going anywhere. 172 00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:28,760 What a... what are you doing? 173 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:30,200 Alright junior Adventurers! 174 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:33,840 Who wants a tour of Rusty's scientastic facilities? 175 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:38,040 What was that up there? 176 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:40,240 That kid was pushing my buttons hard. 177 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:42,160 I wanted to beat on him. 178 00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:44,960 Don't even think about it, I'm uninsured. 179 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:46,400 Go cool down. 180 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:48,040 You look like you're gonna pop a blood vessel. 181 00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:50,960 Yeah, I don't know what's got into me. 182 00:07:51,080 --> 00:07:55,120 "All aboard for fun! Next stop... Excitement town!" 183 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:58,480 "Don't forget to collect your free smile from the trolley conductor." 184 00:07:58,600 --> 00:08:00,080 "What are you two idiots doing?" 185 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:03,160 Get on that golf cart thing! Now! 186 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:05,360 Sweetie, calm down. Honestly. 187 00:08:05,480 --> 00:08:07,120 It's a tour of the compound! 188 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:09,880 That idiot Dr. Venture is about to open his shirt... 189 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,560 and tell me where to stick the knife! 190 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:14,200 - You're arching. - I'm seizing an opportunity. 191 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:16,080 Now how do you do a screen capture? 192 00:08:16,800 --> 00:08:19,160 It's like shift, option... Oh, crap! I made an umlaut. 193 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,880 "Hey, we're gonna use the buddy system." 194 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:24,720 The person seated next to you is your buddy. 195 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:26,480 Say "hi" to your buddy. 196 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:28,400 Hi, buddy. 197 00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:30,960 If you touch something that melts your fingers off tell your buddy. 198 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:33,320 If you get a face full of burning hydrofluoric acid... 199 00:08:33,440 --> 00:08:36,280 it's your buddy that drags you to one of the many eyewash stations. 200 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,040 - Any questions? - When do we get to meet Rusty? 201 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:40,960 I'm Rusty Venture. 202 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:42,600 Why can't you kids wrap your heads around that? 203 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:44,040 What happened? 204 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:45,520 I left Neverland so I could marry Wendy. 205 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:47,240 What do you think happened? Any good questions? 206 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,040 Yes, the kid that's bigger than everyone else. 207 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:51,200 Yeah, it's Pat. Pat McCrotch. 208 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:53,440 Yeah, is this gonna suck the whole time... 209 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,040 or is this the only part that sucks? 210 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:59,240 I just want to gauge how much suck I have to friggin sit through. 211 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:02,040 Any real questions about the tour? 212 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:03,880 OK, the blond boy. 213 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:05,360 Yes, Walter. 214 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:07,280 Walter Melon. 215 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:10,160 - Is this gonna be doo-doo stupid... - Walter. Walter, is it? 216 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:13,440 Yes, locked in your room for two weeks with nothing to eat but potatoes. 217 00:09:13,560 --> 00:09:14,880 And no car, ever. 218 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,320 - What does that have to do... - Oh, what? 219 00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:17,880 I'm sorry, I thought you asked me how long your father... 220 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,320 is going to punish you. 221 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:25,280 So, anybody that doesn't immediately give you respect, you murder? 222 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:26,920 No, no. Well... 223 00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:28,360 I mean, I don't always kill them or anything. 224 00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:31,320 Just like a bruise or two as a little reminder. 225 00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:33,840 - I mean... until this kid. - Just talk to him. 226 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:37,200 When you treat a young man like an adult, he acts like an adult. 227 00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:39,200 If he was an adult, I'd kick his ass. 228 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,000 You can't stoop to their level. 229 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:45,280 Yeah, that's the true but... another kid could, right? 230 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,520 No, I know where you are going with this. 231 00:09:47,640 --> 00:09:50,840 Yeah, I could get another kid to beat him down. 232 00:09:52,360 --> 00:09:55,000 - Not even close. - "Don't bother. I'm not listening." 233 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:57,960 - Who do I make this out to? - Dean. 234 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:00,520 Wait, you're not one of the Venture twins, are you? 235 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:02,080 My dad told me so say "no" to that. 236 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:06,000 Look, kid, I have a plane parked right over there. 237 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:08,480 You say the word and we are outta here, man. 238 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:09,960 You don't need to live like this. 239 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:11,400 - "Dean?" - Here. 240 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:12,840 Just say the word... 241 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:14,280 What are you doing, Jon? Leave the kid alone. 242 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,400 Just signing one of my baby pictures, Samson. 243 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:19,280 "Action Johnny" 244 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:22,280 Hey, Dean, you wanna come with me. I need a favor. 245 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,080 Just say the word, man! 246 00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,680 The E-Den! 247 00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,880 A fully enclosed, self sustaining biological environment. 248 00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,760 Designed to prepare a single male and female astronaut... 249 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,920 for long term, space station inhabitancy. 250 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:35,560 Why is it so dirty? 251 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:37,200 My father died before he taught me to care. 252 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,240 Alright, Billy, wanna give me a hand with this door? 253 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:43,720 It's rusted shut. 254 00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:45,200 When was the last time you opened this? 255 00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:47,960 The project was abandoned 40 years ago. 256 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:50,040 Maybe it's a push door. 257 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:51,560 Are you pulling or pushing? 258 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:53,760 Huh, thought it would be empty... 259 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,560 with, like, a plaque that says how wonderful my dad was. 260 00:10:56,880 --> 00:10:58,520 Alright, hands in pockets. 261 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:00,280 I don't care how soft something looks 262 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:01,720 there's no putting your lips on anything. 263 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:04,360 This place smells like a hamper in a hippie's commune. 264 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:07,080 - It's spooky. - Hey, don't touch that! 265 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:08,880 It will make you sterile. 266 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,480 What is that? 267 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,320 OK, kids. 268 00:11:15,520 --> 00:11:17,680 So... The E-Den. 269 00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:19,160 A self contained... 270 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:21,040 We probably should get back to the camp grounds. 271 00:11:21,160 --> 00:11:22,480 Arts and crafts... 272 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:27,800 It's okay, I've talked to a gorilla before. 273 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:33,360 I know their language. Koko, fine animal person gorilla. 274 00:11:33,600 --> 00:11:36,280 Brows drink polite nipple there hurry. 275 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:37,960 Frown bad! 276 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:40,000 Billy! Billy, I need a kitten! 277 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:43,040 - Why do you need a kitten? - They like kittens. 278 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:44,480 Don't move, they can smell fear! 279 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:47,000 - Can they smell urine? - It's like liquid fear! 280 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:48,880 I pretty much knew this was gonna happen. 281 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,680 That's why I keep this sweet Betty ready to play. 282 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:53,800 The SMK Westlake S2. 283 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:57,000 Cool beans. Is that a BB gun? 284 00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:59,160 Pellet, douche! Spring firing! 285 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:02,720 Like I need a CO2 cartridge going off in my pants. 286 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:04,960 Mr. Action has just joined the server... 287 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:08,920 Meow... I'm a pretty kitten, meow. 288 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:11,320 This isn't working and I don't know why you think it would! 289 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:12,800 Oh! Son of a bitch! 290 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:16,960 Tour's over, kids! 291 00:12:17,280 --> 00:12:18,600 Everybody out! 292 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:23,160 Harder. Like, as hard as you can. 293 00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:25,440 Start with your shoulders and snap it. 294 00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:27,360 Try to punch behind my hand. 295 00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:30,320 Come on, Dean, at least keep your wrist straight. 296 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:32,680 - Where's your brother? - He went on dad's tour. 297 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:34,400 - Doc. - "What?" 298 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,200 - Is Hank with you? - "Hold on" 299 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:38,040 - "Yes, Hank is alive." - What? 300 00:12:38,160 --> 00:12:39,480 - Look, Brock, I gotta go. - "Yeah, alright." 301 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:42,080 Look, we have that demonstration thing at five." 302 00:12:42,200 --> 00:12:43,960 - "And could you tell Hank tha...?" - Yes, bye! 303 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:45,720 "Let me out! It's me! Come on! Let me out!" 304 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:50,080 - Are you alone? - "Yes! Let me out! Now!" 305 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:53,800 Okay! Everybody back on the people mover. Come on! 306 00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,600 This is a fun day camp! 307 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,320 I jettisoned the hand. Got away. 308 00:12:58,480 --> 00:12:59,880 I wasn't alone in there. We lost one. 309 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:01,360 Well, where was his buddy? 310 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:02,800 He had a buddy! They all had buddies! 311 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:05,480 Rusty... I saw a little kid get disemboweled. 312 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:07,120 You always wanted to be an Adventurer. 313 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:10,200 Not like answering trivia, is it, boy? 314 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:11,800 Okay, this is what's gonna happen. 315 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:14,560 I'm gonna tell the kids that the ape was a guy in a costume... 316 00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:16,240 and never speak of this again. 317 00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:17,680 Now give me that shoe. 318 00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:21,480 How did you work with those two idiots all those years? 319 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:23,600 I can't believe they missed the tour! Will you look at them... 320 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:27,680 You can't just send my Moppets out to arch your former enemy. 321 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:31,360 I put our name in with the Guild, and we'll be getting... 322 00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:32,920 I don't wanna hate just anybody. 323 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:35,840 - I wanna hate Venture. - Oh, here we go again. 324 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:37,920 Shh-shh! Wait! This should be good. 325 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:39,680 A hit, huh... 326 00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:44,120 You want us to make him suffer... or just end it quick and quiet like? 327 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:45,720 No, no, nothing permanent. 328 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,960 Just, like, give him a little taste of fear. 329 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:51,000 And I guess you could break something small... 330 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:52,440 like a toe. 331 00:13:52,560 --> 00:13:54,240 - We could take out his tongue. - With a knife. 332 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:56,360 - Or remove his heart? - Yeah, with a knife. 333 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:59,080 - A bigger knife. - Fucking knife! 334 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:01,960 Yeah, you guys are, uh... 335 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:03,400 you're kinda creepy. 336 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:06,040 I think this may be a stupid idea. 337 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:07,520 Yeah, hey, uh, Monarch. 338 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:08,960 You wanna call the spooky twins home... 339 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,720 - before I throw them there? - Ahh! Crap! 340 00:14:12,040 --> 00:14:14,120 - He can't see you. - Get down! 341 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:16,280 "Oh, and Doc really misses you idiots." 342 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,760 "I'm pretty sure he cries himself to sleep at night." 343 00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:20,200 - He does? - "Yeah." 344 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:21,640 Really? 345 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:24,360 Now, when I come out, you guys yell, "ghost!" 346 00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:26,200 Why don't we get to be ghosts? 347 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,320 We have actual ghost experience. 348 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:29,760 It's a waste of good magic. 349 00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:32,120 I have only the one sea ghost costume. 350 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:34,680 And you would not believe how many pirate costumes I have. 351 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,080 Sorry I'm late. Okay, where's Doc? 352 00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:38,560 I want to get this out of the way. 353 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:41,440 Whoa, whoa, whoa. It says in the program... 354 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,000 "Action Johnny and special guest star." 355 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:47,000 Johnny don't like "and special" anything! 356 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:49,640 "Failures! Both of you! Failures!" 357 00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:51,880 I can't even send you out for the simplest mission. 358 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,320 "It's like you were trying to fail me!" 359 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:55,960 Was that the hover tank? 360 00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:59,440 Great, Sgt. Hatred. I can't even watch. 361 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:00,960 This is worse than seeing you with another man! 362 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:04,600 - Hey, that was not my idea. - I thought it would turn me on. 363 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:07,360 But it was just double the embarrassment. 364 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:09,600 Boo! 365 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:12,480 Whoa, not too jumpy pants. Who did you think I was? 366 00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:15,480 Sorry, I thought you were Hank's new giant boy friend. 367 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:16,960 So Hank's finally out? 368 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,320 He thinks that Dermott kid is the kitty's pajamas... 369 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,960 and he is, in fact, very rude. 370 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:23,560 You're pretty cute sometimes. 371 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:25,400 And you're the most... 372 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,040 "You two girls talking about your periods?" 373 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,160 Don't let us men disturb your tea party. 374 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:32,360 I'm sure Silent Sally has some sweet makeup tips for ya. 375 00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,600 Oh, and here's another one... 376 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,160 Keep your seatbelt on at all times. 377 00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:41,520 Thanks, Brock. These loafers have leather soles. 378 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:43,520 - Italian. - Where were you? 379 00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:45,200 I was cooking something up in the lab. 380 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,720 We've been keeping the crowd waiting with safety tips. 381 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:49,440 Action Johnny! 382 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:51,960 Come give your Uncle Z a hug. 383 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:55,360 What is this shit? What is this shit man? 384 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:57,080 Is this some kind of a joke? 385 00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:00,800 Did my father send you? Did he... 386 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:03,680 Keep him off of me! He's all kinds of crazy. 387 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:07,320 Brock, go cool Johnny off. Get him a Zima or something. 388 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:08,960 Oh, God, oh God! 389 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:12,640 Come now, Dr. Venture, you told me it would be all cool. 390 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:14,920 Then I get here and Johnny's wired. 391 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:16,600 Yes, Dr. Venture! 392 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:20,120 Wired like a time bomb attached to a killer whale! 393 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:23,800 Set to go off the moment you try to free yourself... 394 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:28,840 You never lose it. 395 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,840 Seriously, you told me Johnny was clean now. 396 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,320 He's been dry for a month. 397 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,320 But he's been downing Xanax like they were Cheetos. 398 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:35,760 He'll be fine. 399 00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:37,440 Just get in your little helicopter and do a few passes. 400 00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:39,400 Okay. Can I shoot at him? 401 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:41,920 - I don't think so. - How 'bout scorpions? 402 00:16:42,040 --> 00:16:43,720 Can I drop scorpions on him? 403 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:47,640 I bet that foreign guy could totally trounce your dad's lover. 404 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:49,640 - Who? - Your dad's lover in the bunny suit. 405 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:52,360 The one who picked Action Johnny up like he was gonna totally hump him. 406 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:55,000 Dude, do you have any idea what a dork you are? 407 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:56,440 I mean, any? 408 00:16:56,560 --> 00:17:00,080 You think you're all hardcore, but you are so Dave Matthews. 409 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:01,960 You're lucky you look like a suicide girl... 410 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:05,120 - because of your... - Nobody! That's not how! 411 00:17:05,520 --> 00:17:08,760 Whoa! Silent Sally speaks! 412 00:17:08,920 --> 00:17:12,120 Okay, why don't you wait for me naked while I kick your boyfriend's... 413 00:17:13,960 --> 00:17:15,640 Come on! 414 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,160 You're very rude! 415 00:17:18,200 --> 00:17:20,280 That child is a spinning murder top. 416 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,000 Are you sure he's your son? 417 00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:23,600 Dean! Stop hitting the... 418 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:25,680 No, no... They're kids, they're kids. 419 00:17:25,840 --> 00:17:30,160 Why don't you let them work this out. Yeah. 420 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:34,600 "This is Sgt. Hatred! Your nemesis!" 421 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:38,040 Welcome to flaming hell, Dr. Venture! 422 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:40,440 "Scorch it, boys!" 423 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,200 Not now. 424 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:51,840 Whoa there! Call off your Yeti-mummy! 425 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,840 Ahh, he's murdering my boy. 426 00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,360 This is monkey business! 427 00:17:55,480 --> 00:17:57,680 Brock, that suit is rented! Stop getting blood on it. 428 00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:59,120 He started it! 429 00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:00,720 You can't just kill my bo... 430 00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:02,160 What's this now? 431 00:18:02,280 --> 00:18:04,080 Come on, Venture. 432 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:05,600 You gotta get these kids off me. 433 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:09,080 I got a court order that says I can't be around these... 434 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:10,800 sexy little children! 435 00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:13,080 Alright, kids, nice job vanquishing the villain. 436 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:15,840 Isn't this the best play you ever saw? 437 00:18:15,960 --> 00:18:17,560 Now, go back to your seats. 438 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:22,960 We got to get on the same page here. 439 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,920 I'm just pulling a Moses on some shrubs. 440 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,400 It's rock bottom henching. 441 00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:30,280 Well, you can't just barge in and expect a hug. 442 00:18:30,440 --> 00:18:33,800 - I'm running a day camp today. - My patoot. Says right here... 443 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:36,720 "Wednesday, 5:30, menace Dr. Venture." 444 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,200 Let me see that. 445 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:39,960 And I'm sorry about my man Brock. 446 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:42,640 He's not as good with children as I am and they're getting to him. 447 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,920 Okay, here's your problem, 5:30 a.m.... a.m. 448 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:47,920 Looks like a fancy "P." 449 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:50,280 Alright, fine. Malice troop! 450 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,080 Back in the hover tank! 451 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:53,520 - Private Schwa! - Sir! 452 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:55,960 Yeah, ask the gang where they want to stop for chow. 453 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,400 - Sir, yes sir! - I'm thinking a little soup. 454 00:18:58,640 --> 00:19:00,880 See if Au Bon Pain is okay. 455 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:05,360 So, I'm just gonna tick this off as an arch. 456 00:19:05,480 --> 00:19:08,240 If you could just sign here. And there's a little space for comments. 457 00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:11,800 I guess you could say I was absolutely menacing and... 458 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,080 This bruhaha brings me back! 459 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,320 Get right out of town! 460 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:18,320 The Doctor Z! 461 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,600 Oh, man, I love your work. 462 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,480 When you had Kassim eaten by what... 463 00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:25,320 A damn cheetah or something. 464 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:27,400 The guy kills his own number two. 465 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:29,000 That is priceless. 466 00:19:29,120 --> 00:19:31,800 The fool! He made his last blunder! 467 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,240 Oh, oh! This guy right here... 468 00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:35,840 Total pro! 469 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,480 Oh, I gotta get a picture! 470 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:40,120 - Private Tilday! - Sir! Yes, sir! 471 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:42,400 Get the surveillance equipment. 472 00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:56,920 "Well, I better get the little guy home." 473 00:19:57,040 --> 00:20:00,800 - Keep an eye out for his hand. - Yeah, yeah. I'm sure it'll turn up. 474 00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:02,240 That's my dad! 475 00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:05,960 Thanks for the zombie self defense lessons, Mr. Samson. 476 00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:08,240 Uh... Have you seen our son, Kyle? 477 00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:09,920 Oh, there you are! 478 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:11,360 I have your sweet boy here. 479 00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:13,440 You sure he's okay? 480 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:15,400 He's limp. And did you...? 481 00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:19,480 We shaved his head for the sack race. Wind resistance. Yeah, first place. 482 00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:22,600 Then, in Boy Adventurer tradition we poured victory plasma over him. 483 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:25,280 Heh, heh. Good fun. He'll be fine. 484 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:27,280 - You didn't... - Oh, please. 485 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:30,880 You shoulda seen that kid's DNA. He was a ticking time bomb of cancer. 486 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,400 I cleared that up. 487 00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,480 Trust me, they'll thank me after they re-potty-train him. 488 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:38,800 Short and Sassy shampoo? Do they even make that anymore? 489 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:40,840 No, because you mix Short and Sassy... 490 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:44,600 with the active ingredient in Certs, which is Retsyn, you get napalm. 491 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,520 You lather that up, and it's goodbye to, like, most of your face. 492 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:52,240 - That's my mom. I gotta brush. - Okay. Hey, Dermott? 493 00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:55,960 Are you gonna call me or whatever friends do when they're friends? 494 00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,640 Yeah, we'll hang. Shake it sleazy, loser. 495 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:00,960 Bye bye, loser! 496 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:04,120 Dermott, sweetie? Did you meet him? 497 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:05,560 Yeah...he was okay. 498 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:07,040 "You sure he's my real father?" 499 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:37,040 - How did we do, mum? - Just as I asked. 500 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:39,640 My little Moppets were perfect as always. 501 00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:42,560 Come give your lady a hug. 502 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:44,440 I like the new costume, mum. 503 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:49,120 - I like hugging you in the new costume. - Okay, you two. Time is done. 504 00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:53,640 Subtitled by: Image Production House