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Last week on...
The Venture Brothers/
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Part One of...
Escape to the House of Mummies/
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Created by Tim,
the self-created.
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Hatched by the same egg
from which emerged raw.
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Behold the Perfect Man!
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Praise ye who will reign over all.
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That's very impressive.
It looks like he hates his foot.
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Still, he's been doing that all day.
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You boys have to get Caligula
and Dr. Freud back to the time machine.
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Don't let him ask about me.
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- Will do!
- Wait! Where's the Hand of Osiris?
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We told the Caligula guy to hide it.
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Oh, dear Lord.
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No, no. Just drop it there.
I'll get it later.
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I command you to release them!
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Drop to your knees,
you ignorant savages!
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I am your giant four-armed God!
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And I make light from one of my two
slightly smaller hands!
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It's just a flashlight!
Kill them!
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Dean, stop riding the Perfect Man.
Brock has to kill him now.
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- Can't we keep him?
- Yeah, dad, can't we?
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We'll feed the Perfect Man
and clean up after him and everything.
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Super swear. Please?
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No. He's an abomination.
Go ahead, Brock.
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We have more bullets, you know.
You got to stop doing that.
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Yeah, I know.
It just looks so cool.
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Well, go get it.
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Fine.
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Give me the Hand of Osiris!
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- Give me head.
- You didn't just say that.
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I absolutely did.
What are you gonna do about it?
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- But I'm about to kill your sons.
- Join the club.
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Bring them to the Hall of Sorrows!
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And now...
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tonight's dramatic Part Two
of The Venture Brothers, in...
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Escape to the House of Mummies/
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Is anybody else not impressed
by the Hall of Sorrows?
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Yeah. It looks more like
a basement than a hall.
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Can you fit through there?
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I can't get my shoulders in.
I bet you could fit.
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Great!
Way to be useless, Dean.
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When I was your age,
all I did was crawl through holes.
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Holes half that size, mind you.
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If you want a job done right,
I have to do it.
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Boy adventurers, what do you need?
A road map? It's simple!
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Don't get shot by the enemy,
stumble on the robot factory...
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pull up a couple of rubber masks,
and crawl through holes!
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Is that sound what I think it is?
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Oh, yeah. These guys
are playing it by the book.
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We need to come up with a plan fast.
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I have an idea.
You should call Dr. O! He's magic!
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That is the fifth time
you suggested that stupid idea.
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We're not possessed, we're trapped.
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I'll go back in that hole.
I think better in holes.
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That's all we got, Doc.
You might as well try Hank's idea.
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Will you listen to what you just said?
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I know it sounds insane,
but Hank has the only idea.
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I would rather die
than call that snake charmer for help.
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- He'll never let me hear the end of it!
- All right, boys, you heard your father.
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We're all gonna die,
so you might want to line up...
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so that the spikes
will pierce your brain or heart.
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All right, let's start positioning ourselves.
No fun bleeding to death.
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All right, all right,
all right, all right. Fine.
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Dr. Orpheus,
master of mysticism.
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Orpheus, it's your landlord.
We're trapped in a cliché.
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Use your fake, impossible magic
to get us out of here.
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What? Mr. Venture...
I don't think I can do that.
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- Well, what can you do?
- Let's see...
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I could astral-project myself there?
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That's it? Super! Yeah.
Come on over and watch us die.
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Spiked walls are closing in on us
and you want to put on a puppet show.
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Hold on a second.
Hank, get off those spikes!
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It's not a ride!
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Spiked walls? How fast?
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Slower than haunted house spiked walls...
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but not quite as slow
as evil scientist's spiked walls.
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Good!
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- Dean, can you hear me?
- Yes!
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Dean, picture my daughter naked.
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- Think of her as yours.
- Look, you lunatic...
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stop worrying about inheriting my estate
and get us out of here!
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Venture family, you must trust me!
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Dean, think only
of my daughter kissing you.
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Kissing you on the mouth.
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Think harder, boy!
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She's using her tongue!
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There! I have located you!
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- Didn't expect that.
- All right.
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I'm getting out of here
before Dean wakes up crying.
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I'll be back soon with expensive crap
to get you all out of here.
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Wake up!
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Which one of you
broke the Hall of Sorrows?
93
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Don't know. Why?
What was supposed to happen?
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Those walls are supposed to crush you...
95
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and then scolding hot oil
comes out of the jackal's mouth.
96
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Sorry. We missed it.
97
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Oh, yeah, of course! Oil!
Yeah. Makes sense now.
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Thought you told me
to fill it with hot voil.
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What? What the hell is voil?
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It's a soft sheer fabric.
I warmed some up in the dryer.
101
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What the? Are you insane?!
What kind of torture is that?
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Get out of here! I'm serious.
I don't even want to look at you anymore.
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Believers these days!
What happened to the annoying one?
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- We ate him.
- I'm losing my patience.
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Wait. Hold on. I got a...
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- Bless you.
- Oh, great!
107
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It's all full of spit now,
and it smells like a wet cat.
108
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Mr. Venture!
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Are you in need of assistance?
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It is I, Dr. Orpheus!
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- Mr. Venture!
- Lab. I'm in the lab. You windbag.
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I was quite concerned
for your well-being!
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I have not slept a wink.
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You're safe!
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I am pleased that I could help.
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Help schmelp.
Brock and the boys are still trapped.
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Probably dead by now.
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- We must help them!
- No, duh.
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I have the zero point magnets somewhere
that'll take the pyramid walls down in a jiff.
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- So, thanks for nothing.
- Pyramid?
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Yeah. We were trapped
in a pyramid!
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Some stupid cult
made a time machine.
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What pyramid cult?
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I don't know.
Papyrus, Osiris, something like that.
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- You ever heard of him?
- Osiris cult?!
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Osiris?! Firstborn son
of the womb of Nut...
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begotten of Seb,
the lord of a Akert...
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whose existence is for everlasting!
129
00:07:07,328 --> 00:07:11,059
Yes, I've heard of him.
Do you even know what I do for a living?!
130
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I don't know. Card tricks
and children's birthday parties?
131
00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:17,167
No, sir! You stand not on solid ground.
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Below this earth
you trust to be solid is a net.
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This unknowable safety net
keeps your soft pink insignificance...
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from plunging eternally towards oblivion!
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My job, sir, is to repair that net!
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Now thank me!
137
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Thank you for saving me
from the boogie man.
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I saved your life
from half-away around the globe.
139
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Look, Kreskin, I have 20 devices
in this lab that can do that.
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I'm a super scientist.
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My father was a super scientist,
his father was a super scientist...
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and his father was... No, wait.
No, I think he was a milliner.
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Either way, I'm not impressed
with your tricks.
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Tricks? How dare you?!
With just a thought, I could rise into the air!
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Or you could put on
these anti-gravity boots.
146
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I could incinerate this entire lab!
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Make you believe that you are
a very special episode of Blossom/
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And shoot lightning from my hands!
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Laser ray, mind control helmet,
Tesla coil. Anything else?
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Any time, any place.
You name the contest.
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We shall celebrate
your inflated sense of self...
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with the ultimate contest!
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Shrinking!
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And I, like the Puss in Boots...
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shall gobble you up...
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bones and all!
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Fine! Eight o'clock tomorrow!
Right here.
158
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- Smallest man is the biggest man.
- Fine!
159
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- Good day, sir.
- Good blah blah, sir.
160
00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:49,086
And I wouldn't bother looking
for that shrink ray your father built.
161
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He sold it to the albino
and his tiny companion. Ta-ta!
162
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Crap.
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Dean?
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- Dean?!
- I'm over here.
165
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- What happened?
- Yeah, Clarissa, explain it all.
166
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That guy with the bird head,
he has this mummy army.
167
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And one of the mummies
has a magic scepter.
168
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Don't move, Hank!
169
00:09:08,449 --> 00:09:10,542
- He's right behind you!
- What?!
170
00:09:12,319 --> 00:09:16,551
Him? That's just Mummy Mum Muggy.
He's a good mummy, Deano.
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Right? Muggy friend.
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Muggy like his chin rubbed.
Who's a good mummy?
173
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Get your brother's head and follow me.
There has to be a way out of here.
174
00:09:25,799 --> 00:09:29,098
Muggy might know.
Where's the exit? Tell us, boy.
175
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This is getting stupid!
Where the hell is your father?!
176
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You that is tall, go to the small!
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I command you
by the intimate whispers of vulgary...
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shrink!
179
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Oh, come on!
180
00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:53,048
No use crying over spilled magic.
181
00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:56,551
Pumpkin, do you still have
that dollhouse meemaw gave you?
182
00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:59,191
No, no.
You're thinking of Roger Lawn.
183
00:09:59,233 --> 00:10:03,465
Joe Rogan is the host of Fear Factor...
You're kidding me!
184
00:10:03,504 --> 00:10:06,871
Bad news, Billy.
Our place has been trashed.
185
00:10:06,907 --> 00:10:10,934
- What? Holy cow! Great news!
- Getting burglarized is great news?
186
00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:13,538
Come on, White.
This is clear evidence of an arson.
187
00:10:14,515 --> 00:10:18,246
Our own archenemy.
We have arrived.
188
00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:21,015
I'm going to change
into my Quizboy costume.
189
00:10:21,055 --> 00:10:23,148
- He's still here.
- All right, Nemesis.
190
00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:26,387
Show yourself and you'll be spared
a blast from my laser hand.
191
00:10:28,429 --> 00:10:31,125
Dr. Venture?
You're our archenemy?
192
00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:38,563
It's industrial espionage!
You've come to steal our great ideas.
193
00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:41,665
- You've been foiled. We have none.
- What the hell, Rust?
194
00:10:41,709 --> 00:10:44,803
What kind of dick
breaks into his friend's house?
195
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:46,972
- I need that shrink ray I sold you.
- Yeah.
196
00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:50,177
Don't call us and ask for it,
just break into our home and steal it back.
197
00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:52,014
I already apologized for that!
198
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:53,178
- When?
- No, you didn't.
199
00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:55,085
Man, I almost killed you
with my hand.
200
00:10:55,122 --> 00:10:58,489
Enough, Billy. Everybody knows
your hand doesn't shoot lasers.
201
00:10:58,525 --> 00:11:02,222
- What's this all about, Rust?
- I bet that pompous loudmouth Orpheus...
202
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:05,595
that I could shrink better with science
than he could with magic.
203
00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:08,624
Aren't you friends?
I mean, I've seen him mowing your lawn.
204
00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:11,160
- So, you break into our trailer?
- Do you have it or not?
205
00:11:11,205 --> 00:11:14,470
- Here it is.
- What'd you do? Drive over it?
206
00:11:14,508 --> 00:11:16,271
Don't look at me.
Ask Captain Kid over there.
207
00:11:16,310 --> 00:11:17,277
It didn't work!
208
00:11:17,311 --> 00:11:20,212
So I thought maybe there was
a treasure map or something stuck in...
209
00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:23,045
Don't bother. I've been over this
with him, like, a thousand times.
210
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,812
Well, you two have to help me fix it!
211
00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:27,184
Rusty, you broke into our house
and trashed it.
212
00:11:27,221 --> 00:11:29,781
All right, fine. I'll pay you.
213
00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:32,519
- That's all I needed to hear.
- And I get paid for lunches, you know.
214
00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:34,993
- Think on, spirit.
- Come on, Mr. Poe.
215
00:11:35,028 --> 00:11:38,361
Just tell me where you put
the Hand of Osiris and I'll let you go.
216
00:11:38,399 --> 00:11:40,799
Basement.
Under the floorboards.
217
00:11:41,969 --> 00:11:45,496
I got to admit, I always wanted
to get Edgar Allan Poe in a headlock.
218
00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:47,370
That thing is like a pumpkin!
219
00:11:47,408 --> 00:11:51,003
We just completely screwed up
that guy's life with our time machine!
220
00:11:51,044 --> 00:11:54,878
- You think we messed up the past?
- I wouldn't worry about that.
221
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:01,376
I knew it!
222
00:12:01,422 --> 00:12:05,085
Pumpkin, what are you doing
in your room?
223
00:12:05,125 --> 00:12:07,150
Shouldn't you be not in your room?
224
00:12:07,194 --> 00:12:11,255
My whole life I've been afraid of that closet.
There's always these weird lights...
225
00:12:11,298 --> 00:12:13,823
and something that smells
like a burning Band-Aid.
226
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:17,928
Brimstone. OK, fine. Porthole
to the burning nowhere. You got me.
227
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:23,170
Dad, I thought I was going crazy!
I mean, I'm still afraid of the closet. Still!
228
00:12:23,210 --> 00:12:26,373
I wear the same thing every day
because of that closet!
229
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:28,608
Well, how was I to know?
Come now.
230
00:12:28,649 --> 00:12:32,676
Archie and his indolent companion
Jughead wear the same clothes every day.
231
00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:35,210
I thought it was
an adolescent phase of yours.
232
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:38,247
- Great! My closet is the door to hell.
- The Necropolis!
233
00:12:38,292 --> 00:12:42,422
A porthole to the Necropolis. It had to be
on the south side of the apartment.
234
00:12:42,463 --> 00:12:45,296
And since you had to have
a private bathroom...
235
00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:48,893
Oh, this is never... Sleep!
236
00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:51,905
In your sleep, all is forgotten.
237
00:13:04,718 --> 00:13:06,709
Got it!
Why didn't I think of that before?
238
00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:08,914
I need more time.
There's too many variables.
239
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:11,925
OK. I'm done here.
Much more difficult than I expected.
240
00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:15,588
What have you guys come up with
for, let's say, number two?
241
00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:18,496
Number two? Rhea Perlman.
What'd you put down?
242
00:13:18,532 --> 00:13:22,832
Joyce DeWitt was number two.
Number one, Bonnie Bedelia.
243
00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:24,269
The mother from Die Hard?
244
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:28,104
The stone fox from A Mother"s Right: The Elizabeth Morgan Story. Yes.
245
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,666
- What'd you put down?
- I misunderstood the question.
246
00:13:30,711 --> 00:13:32,941
- Give it here.
- I was confused with the wording.
247
00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:36,074
I'm serious! I didn't realize
what you meant by "guilty pleasure."
248
00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:40,018
Jeez, Billy.
Oiled garbage bag? Sweat sock?
249
00:13:40,053 --> 00:13:43,580
Oh, my God, number three.
"Melon heated in a microwave."
250
00:13:43,624 --> 00:13:46,821
That's very creative, Billy.
I'm sure your mother is proud of you.
251
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:50,421
- Give me that, White.
- Hilarious. OK, let's get back to work.
252
00:13:50,464 --> 00:13:53,729
- We're having fun here.
- No, no. Fun is number five...
253
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:57,828
which simply states,
"dust buster with corner attachment."
254
00:13:57,871 --> 00:13:59,304
That sounds dangerous.
255
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,466
I didn't understand the question!
256
00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:04,577
Hello?!
257
00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:06,169
Master?!
258
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,549
Right on the nose.
259
00:14:13,587 --> 00:14:16,112
- You have no idea how much that stings.
- Master?
260
00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:19,592
Yes. Man!
Right on the f... tip of my snout.
261
00:14:19,626 --> 00:14:22,823
God! My eyes are watering.
All six of them.
262
00:14:22,863 --> 00:14:24,694
- So sorry, master!
- All right.
263
00:14:24,731 --> 00:14:27,495
I did not recognize you
in your random form.
264
00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:30,662
So you shoot lightning at my face?
Way to think it out, Orpheus.
265
00:14:30,704 --> 00:14:32,171
No wonder you have no friends.
266
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:37,575
- That's a bit harsh. I have many friends.
- Name one, and Dr. Venture doesn't count.
267
00:14:37,611 --> 00:14:39,738
Look, Orpheus,
I know why you're here...
268
00:14:39,780 --> 00:14:42,681
and I chose the form of Argos
to teach you a little lesson.
269
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:45,378
Don't you mean Cerberus?
Correct me if I'm wrong...
270
00:14:45,419 --> 00:14:48,354
abut Argos was Ulysses' dog.
He had only one head.
271
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:51,448
See? There you go. Right there.
That's what I'm talking about.
272
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:53,925
You're a know-it-all.
And no one likes a... Wait.
273
00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:56,930
- Hold on a second.
- I only know that I know nothing.
274
00:14:56,964 --> 00:15:00,559
Way to quote something I said, like,
a year ago. But I'm serious. Hold on.
275
00:15:00,601 --> 00:15:03,536
This other head
likes to clean my genitals with his mouth.
276
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,037
I know it sounds weird.
277
00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:08,439
I let him do it,
'cause it feels great. Oh, yeah.
278
00:15:08,475 --> 00:15:11,911
The problem is I can taste it. So...
279
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:13,913
I taste my own genitals.
280
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:16,177
In my mouth.
281
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,241
It's... a conundrum.
282
00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:22,278
- Master, what bearing does this?
- Would you let me enjoy this?
283
00:15:22,322 --> 00:15:25,086
Damn, don't you know how good
this feels?! Wait. I'm sorry.
284
00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:28,026
Your wife left you because
you don't know how good this feels!
285
00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:31,622
My wife left me because of
the persistent advances of a younger man!
286
00:15:31,665 --> 00:15:34,862
No. She left you because
you spent most of your time working.
287
00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:38,860
Well, yes. I was saving
the world from a secret peril!
288
00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:43,167
And your precious free time was spent,
like, Mr. Rogers in a cape.
289
00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:45,508
She left you because you're a wussy!
290
00:15:46,747 --> 00:15:49,648
- There's dad!
- Well, it's about damn time.
291
00:15:49,683 --> 00:15:53,244
- Looks like he's been captured again.
- And there's your body, Deano!
292
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:56,778
It has an extra head on it.
Oh, no! They captured me, too.
293
00:15:56,823 --> 00:16:00,850
Hank, what year did you set
the time machine to?
294
00:16:00,894 --> 00:16:03,658
The year 1230 A.D.
295
00:16:03,697 --> 00:16:08,828
Yeah, I'm pretty sure
that you set it to 12:30 A.M.
296
00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:11,829
I've done it again.
297
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:21,678
All right. She's ready to test.
Who is the guinea pig?
298
00:16:21,715 --> 00:16:25,014
I'm an albino. I can't even
go to the beach without exploding.
299
00:16:25,052 --> 00:16:27,646
No way I'm standing
in front of an anything-ray.
300
00:16:27,688 --> 00:16:30,452
Single parent.
Those boys need me. I am their rock.
301
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,856
Don't look at me!
I have not lived enough...
302
00:16:32,893 --> 00:16:35,293
for I have never tasted
the flower of a woman.
303
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,317
What do you mean?
304
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:38,627
"Tasted a flower?"
Is that a direct metaphor?
305
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,792
'Cause I don't take many trips
down south myself.
306
00:16:40,834 --> 00:16:42,165
You guys are disgusting.
307
00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:44,864
No, I mean I haven't sampled the fruits
of the fairer sex.
308
00:16:44,905 --> 00:16:48,773
What's with the poetry, Wordsworth?
Just say it! Say, "I am a virgin."
309
00:16:48,809 --> 00:16:49,798
I knew it!
310
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:52,607
That makes you the best candidate
to take a ray blast.
311
00:16:52,646 --> 00:16:55,843
You have nothing to lose.
You've never done anything.
312
00:16:55,882 --> 00:16:59,545
The way I look at it, it's not even murder.
It's a very late abortion.
313
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:02,111
Wait! Give me 24 hours
to experience love.
314
00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:06,558
Let me know the gentle caress of a woman,
let me sleep in the shade of love's bow.
315
00:17:06,593 --> 00:17:10,029
I will return to you.
I will return knowing the sweet taste...
316
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:11,462
- I vote Billy.
- Seconded.
317
00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:13,466
All right, virgin.
Get on the target.
318
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,991
Oh, get behind the ear.
Oh, yeah, that rules.
319
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:17,799
You really think
she doesn't respect me?
320
00:17:17,838 --> 00:17:19,066
How can she respect you...
321
00:17:19,106 --> 00:17:21,700
when she sees you
get treated like dirt by Dr. Venture?
322
00:17:21,742 --> 00:17:23,972
And then you let her
stay out all night partying.
323
00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:28,447
Party?! My daughter drinks?
She told me her friends do, but she...
324
00:17:28,482 --> 00:17:30,848
Man, you are such a sucker!
325
00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:34,650
Look at the leg. Look at the back leg.
There's nothing I can do about it.
326
00:17:34,688 --> 00:17:36,986
It just keeps kicking.
Is that amazing?
327
00:17:39,593 --> 00:17:42,653
Well, at least you hit him this time.
Anything happen?
328
00:17:42,696 --> 00:17:46,291
No. Nothing.
Told you the phosphates were too old.
329
00:17:46,333 --> 00:17:47,527
It worked.
330
00:17:47,567 --> 00:17:50,195
You shrank my lungs.
331
00:17:51,972 --> 00:17:54,031
Rusty! Oh, man!
332
00:17:54,074 --> 00:17:57,441
What? I can't breathe over here.
333
00:17:57,477 --> 00:18:01,436
It's gonna get worse. You remember
that sound my chair made a second ago?
334
00:18:01,481 --> 00:18:02,709
That wasn't the chair.
335
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:06,344
It'll be there in a minute, Billy.
Think deviled eggs.
336
00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:09,287
I hate you guys.
337
00:18:11,658 --> 00:18:15,116
Hank, you and Caligula
keep up the rear.
338
00:18:15,162 --> 00:18:18,290
No. On second thought,
you and Freud should do it.
339
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:22,062
Caligula, you take the second wave alone.
340
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:23,228
Ready, Dean?
341
00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:27,435
Steady, Perfect Man!
Ready, Brock!
342
00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:31,570
When the gates open,
me, Poe, and me, rush in.
343
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:33,442
You got that?
344
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:36,540
- You'll kill him when he shows up, right?
- You know it.
345
00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:37,880
Charge!
346
00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:41,786
- My ear!
- Sorry.
347
00:18:41,822 --> 00:18:44,484
- What happened?
- We shrank your head.
348
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:48,051
- I told you we should've mounted it.
- Nice shot, William Burroughs.
349
00:18:48,094 --> 00:18:51,996
You hold a gun like a guy that plays Riven.
Now switch to reverse and fix me!
350
00:18:52,032 --> 00:18:53,260
White, are you even aiming?
351
00:18:53,300 --> 00:18:56,599
Do you want me to go in the backyard
and shrink some cans or something first?
352
00:18:56,636 --> 00:19:01,073
- I've never done this before, you know.
- Fix me. Put it in reverse and fix me!
353
00:19:01,107 --> 00:19:03,803
All right, Billy,
you need to relax.
354
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:08,174
Nice. You shrank the whole room.
355
00:19:09,216 --> 00:19:12,515
- I got to get a camera.
- You look like Tobey Maguire...
356
00:19:12,552 --> 00:19:14,110
in a bad Hulk costume.
357
00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:15,314
I need a mirror.
358
00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:18,415
I am a rube.
359
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:22,155
I have been fooling myself my whole life.
360
00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:25,494
- Makes you feel pretty small, huh?
- I am an insect.
361
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:27,363
Look at that.
362
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:33,964
We are nothing in the eyes of the cosmos.
Tiny men going about our tiny days...
363
00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:36,168
believing we mean something.
364
00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:37,904
We are nothing.
365
00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:41,471
Orpheus, you are my best
and brightest pupil...
366
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:43,607
even if you do taste a little salty.
367
00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:47,450
You're ready, Orpheus.
Now, get the hell out of this closet...
368
00:19:47,487 --> 00:19:52,322
and go win that incredibly
gay contest! Go! Go!
369
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:55,157
Are you sure this was
the size of my head before?
370
00:19:55,195 --> 00:19:58,255
Positive.
What if we cross circuit the accelerator?
371
00:19:58,298 --> 00:20:01,734
Might give us more...
ohms or something?
372
00:20:02,636 --> 00:20:04,900
Give up, White.
I lose. It's eight o'clock.
373
00:20:04,938 --> 00:20:06,735
Come on. You're Rusty Venture!
374
00:20:06,773 --> 00:20:09,435
- Never say die.
- Die. I said it.
375
00:20:09,476 --> 00:20:13,572
Forget it. I'm not my dad!
I can't even fix something that he invented!
376
00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:16,241
I was a good boy adventurer,
but I suck at this.
377
00:20:16,283 --> 00:20:19,548
You weren't a good boy adventurer.
You were the best.
378
00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:22,817
- Hold on. Let me show you something.
- Hello? Mr. Venture?
379
00:20:22,856 --> 00:20:24,721
Lab!
380
00:20:24,758 --> 00:20:25,850
- You win.
- What?
381
00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:28,759
I cannot make myself
any smaller than I am now.
382
00:20:28,795 --> 00:20:31,662
- You win.
- Knew it, you charlatan!
383
00:20:31,698 --> 00:20:33,996
How much was the bet for?
A million dollars, right?
384
00:20:34,034 --> 00:20:36,730
Nothing. It was a gentleman's bet.
How small did you get?
385
00:20:36,770 --> 00:20:39,534
Me? It never worked right.
Complete waste of time.
386
00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:42,234
If you'd kept your mouth shut,
you would've won the gentleman.
387
00:20:42,275 --> 00:20:45,039
- Snacks!
- Good call, Billy, I'm starved over here.
388
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:47,046
No. Dr. Venture.
Look at the box.
389
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,275
I haven't seen one of those in years.
390
00:20:49,316 --> 00:20:51,216
A Rusty Venture lunchbox.
391
00:20:51,251 --> 00:20:53,947
Not the one I had when I was a kid.
This one I got on eBay.
392
00:20:53,987 --> 00:20:56,581
I can't use the thermos
because it smells like old milk...
393
00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:58,887
plus some kid
put Thundercats stickers all over it.
394
00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:02,292
- Why do you have one of these?
- Can't you see, Mr. Venture?
395
00:21:02,329 --> 00:21:05,127
You were the little boy-man's hero.
396
00:21:05,165 --> 00:21:07,759
You were the reason
I became a boy genius.
397
00:21:07,801 --> 00:21:10,065
Yeah, Rust.
Every kid wanted to be you.
398
00:21:10,103 --> 00:21:12,469
Yeah. I was pretty cool.
399
00:21:13,506 --> 00:21:17,033
That's me on the pterodactyl.
Took him down myself.
400
00:21:17,077 --> 00:21:20,046
Yes. You were pretty cool.
401
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,173
Let us retire to my sitting room!
402
00:21:22,215 --> 00:21:26,117
I shall whip up
a batch of my famous rice pudding!
403
00:21:27,020 --> 00:21:29,181
I feel like we have forgotten
to do something.
404
00:21:29,222 --> 00:21:31,019
Oh, my God. You're right!
405
00:21:31,057 --> 00:21:32,786
I forgot to turn off the lights.
406
00:22:02,455 --> 00:22:06,152
Next week on...
The Venture Brothers/
407
00:22:09,062 --> 00:22:10,757
I can't make it.
408
00:22:10,797 --> 00:22:12,321
I want to die.
409
00:22:12,966 --> 00:22:14,433
I want the caveman to eat me.
410
00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:16,992
Hang on, Hank!
Cut him open!
411
00:22:17,037 --> 00:22:19,699
We're gonna put the boy in there!
412
00:22:24,244 --> 00:22:26,337
I thought he smelled bad...
413
00:22:26,379 --> 00:22:28,108
on the outside.