1 00:00:05,317 --> 00:00:06,692 Now, be careful. 2 00:00:06,817 --> 00:00:10,256 These things have booby traps. Booby. 3 00:00:10,281 --> 00:00:10,983 Will do. 4 00:00:11,150 --> 00:00:13,567 And it's a good thing I have my trusty penknife. 5 00:00:13,733 --> 00:00:14,900 Dean, those are nail clippers. 6 00:00:15,608 --> 00:00:16,650 Got it! 7 00:00:18,067 --> 00:00:19,442 It's treasure! 8 00:00:19,567 --> 00:00:22,400 Brownish chunks of pirate booty! 9 00:00:22,483 --> 00:00:24,134 Hank, that's an old piece of candy. 10 00:00:24,159 --> 00:00:24,608 Booty! 11 00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,775 And there's a little guy in there made out of pipe-cleaners. 12 00:00:26,858 --> 00:00:28,233 Aw, cool. I get that! 13 00:00:28,358 --> 00:00:32,900 It's all macaroni and empty spools and puffy paint, some yarn... 14 00:00:32,983 --> 00:00:35,733 Felt scraps. Hey! Packages of googly-eyes! 15 00:00:35,817 --> 00:00:36,942 I'm totally taking these. 16 00:00:37,025 --> 00:00:39,942 Hey, this is interesting. It's in Sanskrit. 17 00:00:40,025 --> 00:00:42,525 And a dialect I'm not familiar with. 18 00:00:42,650 --> 00:00:43,983 I'm not sure I can read it. 19 00:00:44,108 --> 00:00:45,442 Well, just try. 20 00:00:45,650 --> 00:00:50,858 "It... we have to you likely the opening now of this chest. 21 00:00:50,942 --> 00:00:55,608 "To all that protect mine rainy-day craft box... 22 00:00:55,733 --> 00:00:59,442 are cursed, when to not take away... 23 00:01:00,650 --> 00:01:03,692 "things or objects..." or something like that. 24 00:01:04,442 --> 00:01:06,692 The prepositions and stuff are all screwy... 25 00:01:07,692 --> 00:01:10,275 It's a cursed treasure! 26 00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:15,692 The boys are in trouble. 27 00:01:16,692 --> 00:01:21,358 You have thieved from the sacred craft-bin of Olee Janeema. 28 00:01:21,442 --> 00:01:22,900 Give him back the googly-eyes! 29 00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:24,608 - You! - I didn't take 'em! 30 00:01:24,692 --> 00:01:27,858 Now your blood shall flow in his name... 31 00:01:29,692 --> 00:01:31,567 My arm came off. 32 00:01:31,641 --> 00:01:33,501 I can't believe that happened! 33 00:01:33,526 --> 00:01:35,108 Out of the way, boys. 34 00:01:35,192 --> 00:01:37,983 I'm gonna give him something to really cry about. 35 00:01:38,108 --> 00:01:40,192 Aw, I wanted a piece of him. 36 00:01:43,817 --> 00:01:46,817 Stop! Oh, I'm sorry. 37 00:01:47,020 --> 00:01:48,436 Stop hitting yourself! 38 00:01:48,462 --> 00:01:54,442 Ooh, the terrible hurting! Ow! Please stop doing that. 39 00:01:55,317 --> 00:01:56,692 Enough! 40 00:02:02,733 --> 00:02:03,900 The Monarch! 41 00:02:04,067 --> 00:02:08,358 While you were wasting your time castrating a priceless antique... 42 00:02:08,608 --> 00:02:11,942 I have been systematically feeding babies... 43 00:02:12,067 --> 00:02:13,942 to hungry, mutated puppies! 44 00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:15,775 Not likely, Monarch. 45 00:02:15,858 --> 00:02:16,983 Silence! 46 00:02:23,668 --> 00:02:25,900 You know what this means. Mecha-shiva. 47 00:02:26,025 --> 00:02:28,233 Mecha-shiva go! 48 00:02:43,317 --> 00:02:45,442 Oh, no! Wait a minute! 49 00:02:45,525 --> 00:02:47,817 That's insane! They're total liars! 50 00:02:47,942 --> 00:02:50,942 I kept my mouth shut when Dean said he could read Sanskrit. 51 00:02:51,067 --> 00:02:53,067 Then, when Hank said he wanted a piece of him... 52 00:02:53,150 --> 00:02:55,942 I was, like, fine. Whatever. But Mecha-shiva? 53 00:02:56,067 --> 00:02:58,775 No way! They are so lying. I'm innocent. 54 00:02:58,858 --> 00:03:01,692 And now, Mr. Monarch, you'll have your chance. 55 00:03:01,775 --> 00:03:04,150 Order! Order! I will have order! 56 00:03:04,275 --> 00:03:06,608 Mecha-shiva! 57 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:13,483 Excuse me, gentlemen. 58 00:03:13,608 --> 00:03:15,108 Would this be the courtroom... 59 00:03:15,233 --> 00:03:18,150 where one might attend "The People v. The Monarch"? 60 00:03:18,275 --> 00:03:21,567 You got the right room, but no one goes through these doors without clearance. 61 00:03:21,692 --> 00:03:24,983 I'm sure you'll find that I have every right to attend these proceedings. 62 00:03:32,900 --> 00:03:35,692 I'm in, and I've made a bit of a mess. 63 00:03:35,817 --> 00:03:38,858 Send a cleaner for 375 pounds. 64 00:03:39,317 --> 00:03:40,692 Maybe more. 65 00:03:41,442 --> 00:03:44,692 - So, Hank... it is Hank, isn't it? - Yes, sir. 66 00:03:44,817 --> 00:03:49,025 Well, Hank, what's it like to be a... liar? 67 00:03:49,525 --> 00:03:52,400 Do you like being a liar, with pants constantly on fire? 68 00:03:52,567 --> 00:03:54,775 Objection, your honor! Leading. 69 00:03:54,900 --> 00:03:58,108 I'll rephrase that. Hank, are you a liar? 70 00:03:58,233 --> 00:03:59,608 No, sir. I don't think so. 71 00:03:59,733 --> 00:04:01,067 - Yes, you are! - You're the liar! 72 00:04:01,192 --> 00:04:03,608 And may I remind you that I am rubber and you are glue... 73 00:04:03,692 --> 00:04:06,483 and whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you! 74 00:04:06,608 --> 00:04:08,942 That's it! This court will recess for one hour. 75 00:04:09,067 --> 00:04:11,858 I want to see the attorneys in my chamber now! 76 00:04:12,275 --> 00:04:14,817 You're on thin ice here, but do you get off the ice? 77 00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:18,317 Hell, no! You jump up and down like a lunatic having a conniption fit. 78 00:04:18,442 --> 00:04:21,067 Now, if it was up to me, you'd have been in chains an hour ago. 79 00:04:21,150 --> 00:04:23,650 But this is a trial by jury, and it's up to your peers... 80 00:04:23,775 --> 00:04:26,358 Peers? Peers! How dare you! 81 00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:29,025 That repulsive display of humanity out there? 82 00:04:29,108 --> 00:04:30,442 No way! 83 00:04:31,192 --> 00:04:32,942 Oh, look, freak-show decided to show up. 84 00:04:33,067 --> 00:04:37,150 Would you be so kind as to liberate me from my fetters? 85 00:04:37,275 --> 00:04:39,483 It is a powerful hot in here. 86 00:04:47,567 --> 00:04:50,650 Your Honor, I have some experience... 87 00:04:50,733 --> 00:04:54,650 with these what you might call super villain-types. 88 00:04:54,942 --> 00:04:57,358 They're a specialty of mine. 89 00:04:57,650 --> 00:05:00,371 What with this condition I'm sorely afflicted with. 90 00:05:00,418 --> 00:05:02,317 What? You have a condition? No. No way. 91 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:05,233 Most of them are wilder than a peach orchard hog. 92 00:05:05,358 --> 00:05:07,817 But this one here will go down like all the others. 93 00:05:07,900 --> 00:05:09,733 Yessir, that's a promise. 94 00:05:09,858 --> 00:05:14,025 I'm gonna be working harder than a cat trying to bury a turd on a marble floor. 95 00:05:14,150 --> 00:05:15,108 Now, that's appealing. 96 00:05:15,192 --> 00:05:16,858 I don't even have to open it. 97 00:05:16,942 --> 00:05:19,650 I can just tell... egg salad. 98 00:05:19,733 --> 00:05:22,525 Fart-sandwiches. Dean, hold your breath. 99 00:05:22,817 --> 00:05:24,150 We're going in for the cookie. 100 00:05:24,275 --> 00:05:27,233 T-minus three, two, one. 101 00:05:27,317 --> 00:05:30,067 If I knew you could just call the cops on him... 102 00:05:30,150 --> 00:05:31,775 I would have done it years ago! 103 00:05:31,900 --> 00:05:33,317 Because I'm no sissy. No, sir. 104 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:37,692 I would just pick up that phone and, "Officer, there's a man in a butterfly suit... 105 00:05:37,775 --> 00:05:39,650 "shooting my robot with a laser beam." 106 00:05:39,733 --> 00:05:42,358 We'd still be waiting for the cops to show up. 107 00:05:42,525 --> 00:05:45,525 The police stay out of the way of the Guild for the most part. 108 00:05:45,650 --> 00:05:48,817 Who do you think supplied the department with new cruisers last year? 109 00:05:48,942 --> 00:05:50,400 My tax dollars, for one. 110 00:05:50,525 --> 00:05:51,608 Santa Claus, for two. 111 00:05:51,692 --> 00:05:52,817 Keep dreamin'. 112 00:05:52,942 --> 00:05:55,150 No cop would respond to a call like that. 113 00:05:55,275 --> 00:05:58,983 What about a supercop with a jet pack and a devil-may-care attitude? 114 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,150 The only way the police would get involved is... 115 00:06:01,233 --> 00:06:02,900 if the Guild screwed with them first. 116 00:06:02,983 --> 00:06:05,442 So when the Monarch messed with the police... 117 00:06:05,525 --> 00:06:07,358 - he messed with... - The Guild. 118 00:06:07,442 --> 00:06:08,733 I was gonna say that. 119 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:10,275 Sovereign... 120 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,442 Many of our operatives are in place. 121 00:06:12,525 --> 00:06:13,775 We await your orders. 122 00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:16,317 Good. Good. 123 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:19,275 Let us proceed to stage five. 124 00:06:19,733 --> 00:06:21,442 It shall be done. 125 00:06:22,025 --> 00:06:23,567 Great, way to make me look like a tool! 126 00:06:23,692 --> 00:06:24,858 What are you doing back there? 127 00:06:25,025 --> 00:06:26,525 Have you seen my juice-box? 128 00:06:26,692 --> 00:06:27,608 Oh, that was yours? 129 00:06:27,775 --> 00:06:28,983 - I thought that... - Great. Thanks. 130 00:06:29,067 --> 00:06:31,525 Why did I even bother putting my initials on it? 131 00:06:35,025 --> 00:06:36,192 How rude of me. 132 00:06:36,275 --> 00:06:38,067 Would you care for some Pez? 133 00:06:38,192 --> 00:06:40,275 Oh... no. 134 00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:42,567 I think they taste too much like soap. 135 00:06:42,692 --> 00:06:47,025 For my next witness, I would like to call to the stand... 136 00:06:47,108 --> 00:06:48,775 The Monarch! 137 00:06:48,817 --> 00:06:50,983 They are so gonna fry this idiot. 138 00:06:52,192 --> 00:06:54,593 Just get on the stand and give your testimony. 139 00:06:54,637 --> 00:06:56,512 Oh. OK. Right. Sorry. 140 00:06:58,567 --> 00:06:59,358 How do I, uh? 141 00:06:59,483 --> 00:07:00,942 Oh, any time, Mr. Monarch. 142 00:07:01,025 --> 00:07:02,025 Today would be nice. 143 00:07:02,192 --> 00:07:03,567 OK, I should just go then? 144 00:07:03,733 --> 00:07:04,525 Please! 145 00:07:05,192 --> 00:07:09,910 This all started soon after "The Flight of the Monarch" was published... 146 00:07:09,981 --> 00:07:14,317 a mean little tell-all book filled with nothing but lies and pictures of also-lies. 147 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,567 - What the hell is this? - A book? 148 00:07:16,650 --> 00:07:19,233 No! But you would think it was, right? 149 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,733 You can read it like a book. Here, I'll show you. 150 00:07:23,025 --> 00:07:27,067 "Rifling through his pockets for change, the Monarch accidentally launches... 151 00:07:27,108 --> 00:07:30,358 "a sodium-pentothal-tipped dart deep into his own thigh. 152 00:07:30,567 --> 00:07:33,692 "Upon hearing a girlish symphony of shrill wails... 153 00:07:33,775 --> 00:07:35,192 "a waitress comes to his aid..." 154 00:07:35,275 --> 00:07:35,942 I told you. 155 00:07:36,025 --> 00:07:37,817 You told me he wouldn't find out. 156 00:07:37,983 --> 00:07:40,817 You're such a dick. You put his face on the cover! 157 00:07:40,900 --> 00:07:42,192 "...plucking your eyebrows?!" 158 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,442 Oh, it's almost exactly like a book. 159 00:07:44,650 --> 00:07:45,942 There's even some pictures. 160 00:07:46,067 --> 00:07:47,858 Why, here's one of me at Dance-eteria... 161 00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:50,067 making out with Stiv Bators and Lydia Lunch! 162 00:07:51,108 --> 00:07:54,692 But this is not a book. This is a suicide note! 163 00:07:54,775 --> 00:07:58,275 Good news! The euthanasia will be carried out by me. 164 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:03,400 The author has twenty minutes to seek my aid before I just kill all of you. 165 00:08:04,275 --> 00:08:07,983 You'll find me in my room... crying. 166 00:08:08,317 --> 00:08:11,858 After a heart-to-heart with my family of friends... 167 00:08:11,983 --> 00:08:13,983 a confession soon followed. 168 00:08:16,692 --> 00:08:20,358 It must have been hard for him to come to a man he saw as a mentor... 169 00:08:20,525 --> 00:08:23,942 and confess to penning such libelous slander. 170 00:08:24,275 --> 00:08:27,692 I was lenient on him. He punished himself enough. 171 00:08:27,817 --> 00:08:31,608 You should have replaced his blood with acid after this part. 172 00:08:31,733 --> 00:08:33,608 The sharks won't touch him now. 173 00:08:34,275 --> 00:08:36,775 Thanks, Dr. Girlfriend. Now you tell me. 174 00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:39,983 Lower the giant hair dryer! 175 00:08:40,983 --> 00:08:42,108 Objection! 176 00:08:42,192 --> 00:08:43,567 On what grounds? 177 00:08:43,692 --> 00:08:44,983 Boring me to tears. Ha! 178 00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:46,733 Relevance, Your Honor. 179 00:08:46,858 --> 00:08:51,567 Mr. Monarch hasn't been charged with having a book written about him. 180 00:08:51,650 --> 00:08:55,692 He's been charged with the abduction or maybe, well... 181 00:08:55,900 --> 00:08:59,275 disintegration of a police officer. 182 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:01,692 I'm getting to that! Just keep your pants on. 183 00:09:01,900 --> 00:09:03,650 Oh, wait. You can't wear pants, can you? 184 00:09:03,733 --> 00:09:05,525 Overruled. Continue, Mr. Monarch. 185 00:09:05,775 --> 00:09:06,983 But please get to the point. 186 00:09:07,108 --> 00:09:10,650 But sadly, the repercussions of "The Flight of the Monarch"... 187 00:09:10,733 --> 00:09:11,733 were far from over. 188 00:09:11,817 --> 00:09:13,400 OK, then who haven't you slept with? 189 00:09:13,567 --> 00:09:14,660 I'm sure that's a shorter list. 190 00:09:14,732 --> 00:09:15,817 Oh, you are insane! 191 00:09:15,900 --> 00:09:18,942 I'm insane? I'm insane? Look at these! 192 00:09:19,025 --> 00:09:21,358 There's a picture of you in Monstroso's lap. 193 00:09:21,442 --> 00:09:24,275 That was a party. Look at his lap... it's huge. 194 00:09:24,692 --> 00:09:26,150 There's, like, five of us on it. 195 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:29,650 Yeah, right. And here's one of you skinny dipping with Jim Foetus! 196 00:09:29,733 --> 00:09:31,108 Let me see that. I don't remember... 197 00:09:31,192 --> 00:09:33,442 And there's a whole collage of you and Phantom Limb. 198 00:09:33,567 --> 00:09:36,275 All right, fine! I used to work for him. So what? 199 00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:38,483 Holy crap! Look at your costume! 200 00:09:38,608 --> 00:09:40,483 What, did Frank Frazetta design it for you? 201 00:09:40,608 --> 00:09:41,817 It's tiny! 202 00:09:42,608 --> 00:09:45,275 I can see your dirty pillows! 203 00:09:45,358 --> 00:09:46,900 I am leaving! 204 00:09:46,983 --> 00:09:48,567 If you can't calm down, I'm leaving. 205 00:09:48,650 --> 00:09:51,067 You can't leave. I'm throwing you out. 206 00:09:51,192 --> 00:09:55,025 Get out of my cocoon, you whore! 207 00:09:56,650 --> 00:10:00,650 After an amicable parting of the ways, life went on as usual. 208 00:10:01,108 --> 00:10:05,442 And that was the last time I saw Dr. Girl... 209 00:10:05,567 --> 00:10:07,817 Dr. Ex-Girlfriend! 210 00:10:07,983 --> 00:10:10,275 Good riddance to bad girlfriends, I say. 211 00:10:10,733 --> 00:10:15,525 My guess is about then, well, she was so sad about her failure to upset me... 212 00:10:15,817 --> 00:10:18,275 that she probably went crazy, rampage nuts. 213 00:10:18,358 --> 00:10:19,983 He's lying! 214 00:10:20,817 --> 00:10:24,692 Oh, no way. That's a real big surprise. 215 00:10:32,983 --> 00:10:35,483 Good gracious. What happened to you? 216 00:10:35,608 --> 00:10:38,108 It's a long story. Can I come in? 217 00:10:38,233 --> 00:10:41,442 Of course, of course. It's horrid out there. 218 00:10:41,525 --> 00:10:42,733 I insist on it. 219 00:10:43,567 --> 00:10:45,775 Dear girl, you're soaked to the bone. 220 00:10:46,025 --> 00:10:48,608 Come sit down and tell me all about it. 221 00:10:49,067 --> 00:10:51,275 Now, let it all out. 222 00:10:51,650 --> 00:10:53,483 I'm just going to get you some dry clothes. 223 00:10:53,608 --> 00:10:54,692 He threw me out. 224 00:10:54,817 --> 00:10:58,483 After saying the most horrible things, he threw me out. 225 00:10:58,567 --> 00:11:00,192 The cad! How dare he! 226 00:11:00,442 --> 00:11:03,692 Who does he think he is... Mr. King Butterfly Man? 227 00:11:03,858 --> 00:11:05,233 Well, I'm nobody's doormat. 228 00:11:05,317 --> 00:11:07,692 Before I met him, I was Lady Au Pair. 229 00:11:07,775 --> 00:11:12,108 I was feared, and I was respected, and not just by my murderous moppets... 230 00:11:12,233 --> 00:11:13,233 by everyone. 231 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:14,525 And after that, I was... 232 00:11:14,608 --> 00:11:16,900 Queen Etherea. 233 00:11:18,150 --> 00:11:21,067 Put it on. I want to see you in it again. 234 00:11:21,150 --> 00:11:22,817 Oh, I can't believe you saved it. 235 00:11:23,067 --> 00:11:24,358 What are these hard chunks? 236 00:11:24,483 --> 00:11:25,525 My tears. 237 00:11:25,608 --> 00:11:28,025 Tears? You have to be kidding me! 238 00:11:28,192 --> 00:11:30,233 You know that sick, deformed slob... 239 00:11:30,650 --> 00:11:32,692 you know he was pounding his invisible meat... 240 00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:34,192 That's it. Objection! 241 00:11:34,275 --> 00:11:36,942 Your honor, I have children listening to this potty talk! 242 00:11:37,067 --> 00:11:40,650 Sustained. I want that last bit stricken from the record... and my mind. 243 00:11:41,025 --> 00:11:42,942 Dr. Venture, you might want to take your sons out. 244 00:11:43,067 --> 00:11:45,608 Not me! There's no way I'm gonna miss this. 245 00:11:46,025 --> 00:11:47,858 Brock, be a lamb, and take the boys somewhere. 246 00:11:47,942 --> 00:11:50,275 Aw, come on, Pop. We're not babies. 247 00:11:50,358 --> 00:11:51,817 Dean told me how he pounds his... 248 00:11:51,942 --> 00:11:53,400 All right. Yeah, boys. 249 00:11:53,608 --> 00:11:59,817 Uh, hey, why don't we go scrounge up some adventure... 250 00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:01,192 do some, uh... 251 00:12:01,275 --> 00:12:03,900 Control, delay order. We've lost full containment. 252 00:12:04,025 --> 00:12:05,858 I repeat, delay order. 253 00:12:05,983 --> 00:12:07,317 Copy on delay. 254 00:12:07,442 --> 00:12:09,650 - We are on standby. - Knew it. 255 00:12:09,775 --> 00:12:10,692 I thought you went to the can. 256 00:12:10,775 --> 00:12:11,608 I did. I'm back. 257 00:12:11,733 --> 00:12:13,108 That was, like, ten seconds ago. 258 00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:15,358 What, are you pissing in the corner? 259 00:12:15,442 --> 00:12:18,567 There's gum in this fountain... our first clue. 260 00:12:18,692 --> 00:12:21,733 It seems our thirsty mystery man was a gum-chewer. 261 00:12:21,900 --> 00:12:23,692 Look, Brock. Hank found a clue. 262 00:12:23,817 --> 00:12:24,775 Oh, great. 263 00:12:24,858 --> 00:12:26,400 Boys, don't touch that clue. 264 00:12:26,525 --> 00:12:28,692 That clue was in somebody's mouth. 265 00:12:29,275 --> 00:12:30,900 That clue's filthy. 266 00:12:31,275 --> 00:12:32,650 Now, take your time. 267 00:12:33,400 --> 00:12:36,858 I know this is very upsetting for you. 268 00:12:37,608 --> 00:12:39,067 Would you like a tissue? 269 00:12:39,150 --> 00:12:41,983 It's fine. I have one. 270 00:12:43,733 --> 00:12:45,775 If this is too much for you... 271 00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:48,192 No, please. I want to finish. 272 00:12:48,317 --> 00:12:49,400 Go on, then. 273 00:12:51,358 --> 00:12:53,900 I was there for maybe a half an hour. 274 00:12:54,025 --> 00:12:56,853 We were eating some aged... something-or-other cheese. 275 00:12:56,916 --> 00:12:58,233 I don't recall what it was. 276 00:12:58,317 --> 00:12:59,400 Asiago. 277 00:12:59,483 --> 00:13:01,275 I developed a love for this playful provision... 278 00:13:01,358 --> 00:13:03,650 during my stay in Florence, Italy. 279 00:13:03,775 --> 00:13:05,692 It's really nothing more than a common table cheese... 280 00:13:05,775 --> 00:13:08,275 but I find it a charming yang to merlot's impish ying. 281 00:13:08,358 --> 00:13:10,983 It tastes like the inside of an old thermos. 282 00:13:11,317 --> 00:13:12,733 Will you knock that off? 283 00:13:13,067 --> 00:13:13,983 Let me get that. 284 00:13:14,067 --> 00:13:16,108 You must be strong. Remember who you are. 285 00:13:16,192 --> 00:13:18,025 His lies can't hurt you anymore. 286 00:13:18,150 --> 00:13:20,317 Stop that. We heard you the first time. 287 00:13:20,442 --> 00:13:22,192 I knew you were here! 288 00:13:22,358 --> 00:13:24,442 The henchmen were all, "She went to her mother's"... 289 00:13:24,525 --> 00:13:27,608 but I knew you went crawling back to him! 290 00:13:27,733 --> 00:13:28,983 Keep your voice down. 291 00:13:29,067 --> 00:13:30,317 Holy crap! What are you wearing? 292 00:13:30,483 --> 00:13:32,275 Is that your Queen Etherea suit? 293 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:33,942 You're wearing your old costume now? 294 00:13:34,025 --> 00:13:35,150 My clothes were wet, and he... 295 00:13:35,233 --> 00:13:37,442 I can't believe you're falling for that floating... 296 00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:39,775 smooth-talking jackass! 297 00:13:39,942 --> 00:13:42,442 I can't even look at you in that... slut... 298 00:13:42,733 --> 00:13:44,400 slut slutty slut suit! 299 00:13:44,483 --> 00:13:46,192 I was wearing this when you first met me. 300 00:13:46,317 --> 00:13:48,567 I don't remember you complaining then. 301 00:13:48,608 --> 00:13:50,067 That's because I had you out of that rag... 302 00:13:50,150 --> 00:13:51,942 within the first five minutes of meeting you. 303 00:13:52,025 --> 00:13:53,692 I made you the Monarch's! 304 00:13:54,358 --> 00:13:56,192 You are a monster! 305 00:13:56,275 --> 00:13:57,233 All right. 306 00:13:57,650 --> 00:13:59,067 That was supposed to be romantic. 307 00:13:59,150 --> 00:14:00,650 Oh, go to hell! 308 00:14:01,817 --> 00:14:02,733 Fine! 309 00:14:02,817 --> 00:14:06,025 Then he just hung around the yard yelling till somebody called the cops. 310 00:14:06,150 --> 00:14:08,108 That was all you saw? 311 00:14:08,233 --> 00:14:10,775 Well, I saw the flashing lights from, I guess, the police... 312 00:14:10,858 --> 00:14:12,900 and I heard some talking. Then... 313 00:14:13,192 --> 00:14:15,410 - Then? - Then... nothing. 314 00:14:15,539 --> 00:14:16,321 Nothing? 315 00:14:16,393 --> 00:14:17,071 Nothing. 316 00:14:17,111 --> 00:14:17,821 Nothing? 317 00:14:17,869 --> 00:14:18,869 Nothing! 318 00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:21,608 Ow! What the dealy-o? 319 00:14:21,733 --> 00:14:24,067 Saliva is nature's glue. 320 00:14:24,192 --> 00:14:25,858 And raisins are nature's candy! 321 00:14:25,983 --> 00:14:27,817 It's the oldest trick in the book. 322 00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:30,900 If I place a hair between the door and frame... 323 00:14:30,983 --> 00:14:32,775 - We've been made. - It works as a burglar alarm. 324 00:14:32,858 --> 00:14:36,442 All we have to do is come back, and if the hair is gone... 325 00:14:36,608 --> 00:14:38,358 somebody used this door. 326 00:14:38,483 --> 00:14:39,400 Help! 327 00:14:40,442 --> 00:14:42,942 Do not be too hasty entering that room. 328 00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:45,775 I had Taco Bell for lunch! 329 00:14:45,900 --> 00:14:52,025 Expert witness Dr. Byron Orpheus has arrived! 330 00:14:52,483 --> 00:14:55,025 The hair's gone! A clue! 331 00:14:55,150 --> 00:14:57,358 It was Dr. O. The whole time. 332 00:14:57,567 --> 00:14:59,275 I wonder what that means. 333 00:14:59,358 --> 00:15:01,775 It means Dr. Orpheus had to take a dump. 334 00:15:01,858 --> 00:15:04,483 So, nice job. Case closed. 335 00:15:04,942 --> 00:15:06,483 Place your right hand on the... 336 00:15:06,567 --> 00:15:08,817 How sweet. A Bible. 337 00:15:08,983 --> 00:15:13,108 Well, if you don't mind, sir, I have a book of my own for this little ritual. 338 00:15:14,442 --> 00:15:17,192 Keep your fingers clear of its mouth. 339 00:15:17,275 --> 00:15:18,483 He's a nibbler. 340 00:15:18,608 --> 00:15:20,108 Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth... 341 00:15:20,192 --> 00:15:24,291 and nothing but the truth, so help you... uh, whoever? 342 00:15:24,355 --> 00:15:26,233 I swear it. 343 00:15:26,567 --> 00:15:32,108 Dr. Orpheus, could you tell the court what it is that you do? 344 00:15:32,525 --> 00:15:34,192 You're a type of magician? 345 00:15:34,317 --> 00:15:36,983 Oh, they have no idea what they're in for. 346 00:15:37,192 --> 00:15:43,797 Well, if you must call me that, yes. But if you are after mere parlor tricks... 347 00:15:43,858 --> 00:15:45,817 you will be sorely disappointed. 348 00:15:46,067 --> 00:15:51,692 For if I reach behind your ear, it will not be a nickel I pull out... 349 00:15:51,991 --> 00:15:53,844 but your very soul! 350 00:15:53,924 --> 00:15:55,108 Good night, ladies and gentlemen. 351 00:15:55,192 --> 00:15:56,567 You've been a great crowd. 352 00:15:56,983 --> 00:15:58,567 A mind reader, huh? 353 00:15:58,900 --> 00:16:03,025 That seems kind of hocus-pocus, now, don't it? 354 00:16:03,442 --> 00:16:04,608 It's as crazy as... 355 00:16:04,650 --> 00:16:06,317 oh, let's say the fact... 356 00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:09,942 that nobody can recall what happened that night... 357 00:16:10,025 --> 00:16:14,275 the night that a policeman and his motorcycle simply vanished. 358 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,942 Well, maybe I'm just an ignorant old country lawyer... 359 00:16:18,067 --> 00:16:20,150 but this sounds like a cover-up. 360 00:16:20,233 --> 00:16:23,483 Or is it magic? Do you believe in magic? 361 00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:28,692 The Monarch must, for he's given us no other rational explanation. 362 00:16:29,150 --> 00:16:30,983 Something big is going down. 363 00:16:31,025 --> 00:16:33,275 This place is crawling with Strangers. 364 00:16:33,358 --> 00:16:34,692 You can't expect to know everybody. 365 00:16:34,817 --> 00:16:35,608 No, Hank. 366 00:16:35,692 --> 00:16:38,317 Strangers are undercover Guild operatives. 367 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:39,442 We gotta warn Pop! 368 00:16:39,567 --> 00:16:41,233 No, Dean. This is Guild business. 369 00:16:41,317 --> 00:16:42,900 Your father isn't in any harm. 370 00:16:43,067 --> 00:16:45,150 The Guild works clean, professional. 371 00:16:45,275 --> 00:16:46,567 It's surgical with them. 372 00:16:46,692 --> 00:16:49,483 In a way, they're the only organization I still respect. 373 00:16:49,567 --> 00:16:53,400 And they kill clean. Don't let dames get in the way. 374 00:16:53,692 --> 00:16:56,483 Honestly, Hank, where do you pick that stuff up? 375 00:16:56,567 --> 00:16:57,733 I never see you read. 376 00:16:57,900 --> 00:16:58,817 It's weird, right? 377 00:16:58,942 --> 00:17:01,067 It's like he channels dead crazy people. 378 00:17:01,275 --> 00:17:02,650 You think it's a cry for help? 379 00:17:03,108 --> 00:17:05,192 So... a mind reader. 380 00:17:05,650 --> 00:17:06,650 Fascinating. 381 00:17:06,983 --> 00:17:11,317 Could you read the mind of, let's say, for instance, the Monarch? 382 00:17:11,483 --> 00:17:12,900 If it would please the court. 383 00:17:13,025 --> 00:17:14,192 Objection. No way! 384 00:17:14,317 --> 00:17:16,226 This is most unorthodox. 385 00:17:16,251 --> 00:17:17,233 Unorthodox? 386 00:17:17,358 --> 00:17:19,650 The defendant's in a crown, for God's sake! 387 00:17:19,858 --> 00:17:23,317 I myself am growing from the torso of an inbred simpleton. 388 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,942 I promise not to make his eyes boil. 389 00:17:26,067 --> 00:17:30,150 I'll... allow it. 390 00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:32,192 Hug me. 391 00:17:32,692 --> 00:17:34,608 Fine. Whatever gets you off, man. 392 00:17:34,775 --> 00:17:36,233 Just don't go for the reach-around... 393 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,150 because the Monarch doesn't swing that... 394 00:17:38,233 --> 00:17:39,775 Sleep! 395 00:17:40,067 --> 00:17:42,067 Dream. 396 00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:50,775 All right, what's going on here? 397 00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:54,692 Oh, just doing some... gardening. 398 00:17:54,817 --> 00:17:58,400 I got a call from a concerned citizen there's a domestic going on here. 399 00:17:58,525 --> 00:18:02,900 Listen, Officer Poncharello, my second-in-command just left me. 400 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:06,067 So why don't you put your fat Tom-of-Finland ass... 401 00:18:06,192 --> 00:18:08,650 back on your big gay bike and go home? 402 00:18:08,858 --> 00:18:10,358 This is none of your beeswax. 403 00:18:10,483 --> 00:18:13,025 OK, pal, let's just keep those hands where I can see them. 404 00:18:13,108 --> 00:18:15,858 Oh, you want some of this? Let's go, Fonzie. 405 00:18:16,025 --> 00:18:17,858 Come on. Take your best shot! 406 00:18:18,067 --> 00:18:20,317 Think you can take this? So, too fast for you? 407 00:18:25,692 --> 00:18:27,192 It's all there. Do you want to count it? 408 00:18:27,317 --> 00:18:28,817 No. That's bad form. 409 00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:31,858 There's a passport, name change information, the works. 410 00:18:32,025 --> 00:18:33,442 Even got you a new wife. 411 00:18:33,650 --> 00:18:35,775 You won't see her much, being a supermodel. 412 00:18:35,900 --> 00:18:36,817 She'll be traveling a lot. 413 00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:39,358 Uh, do I have an erection? 414 00:18:39,775 --> 00:18:41,233 I feel like I might have one. 415 00:18:41,317 --> 00:18:43,233 Pleasure doing business with you, gentlemen. 416 00:18:43,358 --> 00:18:45,358 If we see you, hear your voice in a crowd... 417 00:18:45,442 --> 00:18:48,608 Don't worry about me. I'm a ghost. 418 00:18:48,733 --> 00:18:50,442 Good. We'll take it from here. 419 00:18:55,025 --> 00:18:57,192 You won't believe this. 420 00:18:57,358 --> 00:19:02,275 I've seen the greasy interior of many a mind... 421 00:19:02,567 --> 00:19:04,400 and I'm not sure I believe this. 422 00:19:04,483 --> 00:19:06,900 Now! It must be now! Now! 423 00:19:07,025 --> 00:19:08,567 - What'd I miss? - Now! 424 00:19:08,942 --> 00:19:10,108 It's a Freeze-Team! 425 00:19:10,233 --> 00:19:12,067 Down on the ground and hold your breath. 426 00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:13,275 There's pee pee on the floor! 427 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:14,775 I told you to hold your breath. 428 00:19:24,900 --> 00:19:25,858 Take the prisoner. 429 00:19:25,942 --> 00:19:29,692 For everyone else, I want a level three memory wipe. Move! 430 00:19:34,775 --> 00:19:39,567 Finally, number three on the Guild's most wanted list... 431 00:19:39,858 --> 00:19:41,233 Tiny Attorney. 432 00:19:41,483 --> 00:19:46,275 It's time the Guild sentences him to a "Trial Separation." 433 00:19:46,400 --> 00:19:47,358 Ha! I just made that up. 434 00:19:47,483 --> 00:19:48,942 It's funny on a lot of levels. 435 00:19:49,025 --> 00:19:50,317 Right. It just came out. 436 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:52,025 What about the necromancer? 437 00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:54,150 Memory wipes don't work on his kind. 438 00:19:54,233 --> 00:19:57,858 True, but they take to hypnotic suggestion like cancer to a prostate. 439 00:19:57,942 --> 00:20:00,067 Wait! I know this one. 440 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,983 Filed with us five times to get an arch-rival... 441 00:20:03,067 --> 00:20:05,317 part of the Venture clique, I think. 442 00:20:05,608 --> 00:20:07,733 You know the Monarch did it. 443 00:20:07,858 --> 00:20:11,983 He's a very bad man who wants to hurt the Venture family... 444 00:20:12,067 --> 00:20:13,733 and once he's put away... 445 00:20:13,817 --> 00:20:18,442 we'll get all of you a new arch-rival, just like you've always wanted. 446 00:20:18,567 --> 00:20:20,025 You're gonna put the Monarch away? 447 00:20:20,108 --> 00:20:21,525 You never told me that. 448 00:20:21,608 --> 00:20:23,275 Somebody has to take the fall. 449 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:27,608 But you, my dear, you were perfect, a regular Mata Hari. 450 00:20:27,733 --> 00:20:30,775 Trust me. The Guild will reward you handsomely. 451 00:20:30,858 --> 00:20:33,650 But as for your precious Monarch, forget him. 452 00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:35,942 He's totally screwed. 453 00:20:36,608 --> 00:20:39,150 Will that hypnotic suggestion thing work on him? 454 00:20:39,233 --> 00:20:40,733 I think so. 455 00:20:41,358 --> 00:20:43,150 I had nothing to do with this crap. 456 00:20:43,317 --> 00:20:47,025 It was, like, I don't know, those weird kids, the Venture brothers. 457 00:20:47,150 --> 00:20:48,233 They did it. 458 00:20:48,317 --> 00:20:50,400 Strangers, withdraw! 459 00:20:52,108 --> 00:20:56,108 All clear, Mr. Samson. The Guild appreciates your non-interference. 460 00:20:56,233 --> 00:20:57,942 Whatever. How much time? 461 00:20:58,067 --> 00:20:59,567 Twenty seconds. 462 00:21:01,942 --> 00:21:03,858 Continue, Mr. Orpheus. You were saying? 463 00:21:03,942 --> 00:21:05,817 I hope they find me a girl villain. 464 00:21:05,942 --> 00:21:07,233 - Mr. Orpheus? - A redhead. 465 00:21:07,817 --> 00:21:08,983 He's gonna blow it. 466 00:21:09,317 --> 00:21:11,525 Brock, when did you get back? 467 00:21:11,733 --> 00:21:13,525 What happened to the little guy riding the retard? 468 00:21:13,550 --> 00:21:14,226 Don't worry about it. 469 00:21:14,251 --> 00:21:15,817 Mr. Orpheus, you were telling us what you learned. 470 00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,942 That is true, I was. 471 00:21:18,275 --> 00:21:22,983 With my own eyes, I have seen into his senses. 472 00:21:23,233 --> 00:21:25,900 I have been a witness to his doings! 473 00:21:26,358 --> 00:21:30,817 And I have found that the Monarch is... 474 00:21:30,942 --> 00:21:34,358 without any shadow of a doubt... 475 00:21:35,900 --> 00:21:38,858 guilty! 476 00:22:06,358 --> 00:22:09,983 Oh, my precious pookums, of course I forgive you. 477 00:22:10,233 --> 00:22:14,275 Why, in a few, oh, I don't know, decades... 478 00:22:14,525 --> 00:22:15,483 I'll be out of here, 479 00:22:15,567 --> 00:22:19,858 And we can... we can just start again. 480 00:22:20,442 --> 00:22:21,858 Can I go now? 481 00:22:22,150 --> 00:22:23,983 Everybody's staring at me.