1
00:00:01,960 --> 00:00:04,296
[SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY
IN NATIVE LANGUAGE]
2
00:00:09,384 --> 00:00:10,844
...Venture!
3
00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:14,389
[CONTINUES SHOUTING]
4
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:18,852
My God.
There she is.
5
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:22,940
[MUMBLING NERVOUSLY]
6
00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:26,151
Something spooked Swifty
real bad, Dr. V.
7
00:00:26,276 --> 00:00:27,861
I got a bad feeling about this.
8
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:31,198
Nonsense, Hector.
He's probably just dehydrated.
9
00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:34,451
Maybe, but that thing looks
kind of super evil, man.
10
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,453
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
11
00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:39,122
Hmm, well,
I'm no Robert Langdon,
12
00:00:39,248 --> 00:00:41,416
but that ugly customer
probably has something to do
13
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,669
with the so-called
"cursed temple"
14
00:00:43,794 --> 00:00:44,962
the locals were babbling about.
15
00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:47,256
Thankfully,
as modern men of science,
16
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:50,175
we're intellectually immune
to such superstitious hokum.
17
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,344
[CONTINUES MUMBLING]
18
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:59,059
Well, now, this is interesting.
19
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:00,269
[CRUNCHES]
20
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:09,069
Amazingly well preserved.
21
00:01:09,194 --> 00:01:11,238
It's a miracle
it's survived in one piece.
22
00:01:11,363 --> 00:01:15,033
I know the perfect place for it.
23
00:01:15,158 --> 00:01:18,829
Miraculously surviving
the blistering reentry
24
00:01:18,954 --> 00:01:20,914
and crash of the Gargantua-1,
25
00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:23,792
it stands here today
as a fitting tribute
26
00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:27,045
to the ingenuity
of Dr. Jonas Venture Sr.
27
00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:28,964
- Oh, boy!
- Wow!
28
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:31,800
And moving along,
if you will step over this way,
29
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,386
you'll see the space suit
worn by Colonel Lloyd Venture.
30
00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:36,930
- [CRUNCHES]
- What?! That's right!
31
00:01:37,055 --> 00:01:40,684
The real first moon landing
happened in 19-aught-2.
32
00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:44,771
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]
33
00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:53,572
[SNORING LIGHTLY]
34
00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:58,368
[ALARM CLOCK BEEPS,
TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS]
35
00:01:58,493 --> 00:01:59,828
Good morning, me!
36
00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:01,371
- [GRUMBLES]
- It's 7:00 a.m.
37
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:03,749
Time to get up
and start that day!
38
00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:05,459
Eh.
39
00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:07,210
- [TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYS]
- Good morning, me!
40
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:08,503
It's 7:00 a.m.
41
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:11,298
Time to get up
and start that day!
42
00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:14,426
♪ I still hang around ♪
43
00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:18,430
[BEEPS]
44
00:02:18,555 --> 00:02:21,141
- ♪ Neither lost nor found ♪
- [WHIMPERS]
45
00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:22,476
Oh, no.
46
00:02:23,602 --> 00:02:24,770
Not again.
47
00:02:26,355 --> 00:02:27,314
[GASPS]
48
00:02:28,523 --> 00:02:30,817
[HAUNTED MURMURING,
SAXOPHONE MUSIC PLAYING]
49
00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:33,236
What the f--
50
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,491
[THEME MUSIC PLAYS]
51
00:02:39,409 --> 00:02:40,786
[TV SHUTS OFF]
52
00:02:40,911 --> 00:02:43,705
- [CLAPPING]
- [THEME MUSIC RESUMES]
53
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,582
[DEAN WHIMPERING, GRUNTS]
54
00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:49,127
[YELPS]
55
00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:50,962
[GRUNTING]
56
00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:55,342
Aah!
57
00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:56,385
[SAXOPHONE MUSIC PLAYING]
58
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,804
Ehh.
Come on, come on.
59
00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:01,515
Ah, God damn it!
Huh?
60
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:02,849
[ECHOING, DISTORTED GROAN]
61
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:04,434
You killed us all!
62
00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,853
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
63
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:08,063
[GRUNTS]
64
00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:11,483
♪ I still hang around ♪
65
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:13,443
- H.E.L.P.eR.
- [BEEPS]
66
00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:16,405
Hey, buddy.
You get spooked, too?
67
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,490
Aah!
68
00:03:18,615 --> 00:03:20,659
[VOMITING]
69
00:03:22,327 --> 00:03:23,745
[GULPING]
70
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:28,250
- ♪ Music in the night ♪
- Aah!
71
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:30,752
MAN: Rusty Venture,
brought to you by--
72
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:32,671
[YAWNS]
73
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:36,758
Ahh.
74
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:38,343
- Good morning, me!
- Gah!
75
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,387
- It's 7:00 a.m.
- Leave me alone already!
76
00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:42,305
Time to get up
and start that day!
77
00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:45,016
♪ I play the street life ♪
78
00:03:45,142 --> 00:03:46,518
♪ Because there's
no place I can go ♪
79
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:47,978
Aah!
80
00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:49,438
- ♪ Street life ♪
- [SCREAMING]
81
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:51,940
♪ It's the only life I know ♪
82
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:53,734
[MUSIC CONTINUES IN DISTANCE]
83
00:03:53,859 --> 00:03:54,860
Aah!
84
00:03:54,985 --> 00:03:58,071
Ah! Is everyone okay?
Wha--
85
00:03:58,196 --> 00:03:59,281
Where's Hank?
86
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:00,532
[GASPS]
87
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:02,576
Oh, my God.
Are you okay?
88
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:04,327
I'm-- I-I-I'm fine.
89
00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:06,121
Someone must have
walked over my grave.
90
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,414
Whoo!
[PANTING]
91
00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:09,624
So that was better.
92
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,752
I almost got your shirt off
that time.
93
00:04:11,877 --> 00:04:14,671
Yeah. I tried concentrating
on Walking Dead zombies,
94
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:16,465
but then Michonne showed up.
95
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,091
- [POUNDING ON DOOR]
- ROCCO: Hey, Sirena!
96
00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:19,676
Sirena, what are you
doing in there?
97
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:22,471
HANK: [GROANS]
Landed on my joystick.
98
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,973
Hey, Usain Bolt.
No kiss good night?
99
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,308
Oh! Sorry.
100
00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:29,102
ROCCO: Hey, you got a boy
in there, Sirena?
101
00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:30,979
Now, get out of here
before Rocco sees you.
102
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:32,022
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
103
00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:35,192
What?!
I'm trying to do my yoga!
104
00:04:35,317 --> 00:04:36,610
In your Victoria's Secret bra?
105
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:38,028
'Cause usually you wear,
like, a sports--
106
00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:39,112
You know, like, the Free People.
107
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:40,655
Oh, my God.
108
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,783
What, have you been going
through my underwear drawers?
109
00:04:42,908 --> 00:04:44,201
Race-back. That's what
they call it, right?
110
00:04:44,326 --> 00:04:46,203
Ugh, don't even.
Just get out of my way.
111
00:04:46,328 --> 00:04:47,621
I'ma take a shower right now
112
00:04:47,746 --> 00:04:49,706
to wash your fucking skeeve
off of me.
113
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:54,127
[OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS]
114
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:56,379
[GROANING SOFTLY]
115
00:04:58,673 --> 00:05:00,091
Maybe you've had enough coffee?
116
00:05:00,217 --> 00:05:01,635
Maybe we should
call Dr. Orpheus.
117
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,970
- Dean, don't start this again.
- We got to do something.
118
00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:05,972
It's getting worse, Doc.
Every night this week.
119
00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:07,182
- [H.E.L.P.ER. CHIRPS]
- Ah!
120
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:09,768
- DEAN: Our house is haunted!
- Oh, don't be ridiculous.
121
00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:11,645
This is a brand-new building.
122
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:13,146
It's obviously
a computer glitch.
123
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,148
Or is it the ghost
of Uncle J.J.?
124
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:16,900
You said yourself
he appeared to you.
125
00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:18,652
His talking alarm clock
appeared to me.
126
00:05:18,777 --> 00:05:21,029
By your logic,
Clippy the Paperclip haunts me
127
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,656
every time
I try to write a letter.
128
00:05:22,781 --> 00:05:24,825
How do you explain
the weird voices,
129
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:27,577
the slamming doors,
the cold spots?
130
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:29,579
Integrated sound system,
automated doors,
131
00:05:29,704 --> 00:05:31,832
central air,
all computer-controlled.
132
00:05:31,957 --> 00:05:36,837
Someone or something wrote
on my stomach from the inside!
133
00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:38,547
Residual nanobots.
134
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:40,131
Or maybe your stomach
is begging you
135
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,175
to stop
this vegetarian nonsense.
136
00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:44,261
Come on.
Eat a bacon, Dean.
137
00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:46,680
No!
You're not taking this serious!
138
00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:48,181
Just one bacon,
that's all I ask.
139
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:49,766
- No!
- I'll take it.
140
00:05:49,891 --> 00:05:51,601
And why isn't Hank
being haunted?!
141
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:52,686
'Cause I'm a good person?
142
00:05:52,811 --> 00:05:54,271
Because nobody's being haunted!
143
00:05:54,396 --> 00:05:56,189
It's a computer glitch.
Ugh!
144
00:05:56,314 --> 00:05:57,691
In fact, I'm going downstairs
to have it out
145
00:05:57,816 --> 00:05:59,985
with my I.T. guy right now.
146
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:02,779
Yeah, I came in late.
Have you guys ruled out
147
00:06:02,904 --> 00:06:05,282
"old lighthouse keeper
in a rubber mask" yet?
148
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:07,701
- Haunted?
- That's what they think, yeah.
149
00:06:07,826 --> 00:06:08,785
I live with children.
150
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,203
I got to admit, it does get
151
00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:11,580
kind of creepy
down here late at night.
152
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:12,956
Don't you start now.
153
00:06:13,081 --> 00:06:14,249
The system was fine
154
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,959
until this one started
upgrading everything.
155
00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:17,627
One Flash plug-in.
156
00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:19,838
You're the one who just
had to see that cat video.
157
00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:21,673
And it was hilarious!
158
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,800
Now, have you finished hacking
into the mainframe or whatever?
159
00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:24,759
Yeah!
160
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,386
Acid Burn and Zero Cool
161
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:28,263
helped me bypass the encryption.
162
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:29,890
[SNICKERS] This one.
All right.
163
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:33,184
I got the code up here now,
and, uh-- Ah, well.
164
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:35,020
Huh.
Well, this is weird.
165
00:06:35,145 --> 00:06:36,229
What is it, a virus?
166
00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:38,189
Maybe. I--
It's hard to tell.
167
00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:40,358
This computer's speaking
in tongues or something.
168
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:44,654
It's like a digital patois
of DOS, Pascal, FORTRAN.
169
00:06:44,779 --> 00:06:46,698
♪ I still hang around ♪
170
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:48,783
Ugh! There's that
goddamn song again.
171
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:51,536
I know this song.
Street Life by the Crusaders.
172
00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:53,246
It's on the Sharky's Machine
soundtrack.
173
00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:54,748
Super.
Just delete it, will you?
174
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:56,124
I heard enough of this
last night.
175
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:59,794
Rust, this song isn't in
your music library.
176
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:00,962
Now, how can you be sure?
177
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:03,089
There's like 20,000 songs
in there.
178
00:07:03,214 --> 00:07:05,216
I was a college deejay.
179
00:07:05,342 --> 00:07:07,761
This ain't no glitch, Rust.
You are being hacked.
180
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:09,930
- What? By who?
- I don't know. The Russians?
181
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,765
How about that
Blue Morpho character?
182
00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,767
[CHUCKLES] Yeah,
I think we can rule him out.
183
00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:16,102
Yeah, well, whoever's
lurking in this system,
184
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:19,230
Professor Pete's patented
pink pilgrim cyber-snooper
185
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:21,816
will root him out
and shut him down.
186
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,693
Sorry, am I supposed
to be impressed
187
00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:25,195
by your little pink dongle?
188
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,405
Oh!
You will be, pally.
189
00:07:28,573 --> 00:07:30,367
[BEEP, WHIRRING]
190
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:34,120
It, uh, takes a while to load.
191
00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:36,247
Y-- I don't know.
Maybe go get lunch?
192
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:40,210
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- [HUMMING TUNE]
193
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:42,963
Hey, Vincenzo. Got all
the lunch deliveries made.
194
00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:45,715
Just let me wash up, and I'll
help you out with the dough.
195
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:48,259
- You mind explaining this?
- There's my hat!
196
00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:49,427
Geez, I must have forgot.
197
00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:50,971
How many times I tell you,
198
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:53,348
when-a you on a delivery,
you represent-a Vincenzo's!
199
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,683
You wear the hat!
200
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:57,018
Sorry, sir.
It won't happen again.
201
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:59,771
No, it won't because-a
you fired, Hank Venture!
202
00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:00,689
What?!
203
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,024
Just turn in-a
your polo shirt and go!
204
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:06,152
[SOFTLY] You a good boy.
Very good worker.
205
00:08:06,277 --> 00:08:09,823
But you no can
work here no more.
206
00:08:09,948 --> 00:08:12,325
Vincenzo, w-why are
you doing this?
207
00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:15,286
[SNIFFLES] The sign out front,
she may say "Vincenzo,"
208
00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:17,998
but Vincenzo, he no the boss.
209
00:08:18,123 --> 00:08:19,124
Capisce?
210
00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:22,168
La Mano Orca.
211
00:08:24,295 --> 00:08:27,298
Yeah, Vincenzo.
I "ca-pish."
212
00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:30,343
[ITALIAN MANDOLIN MUSIC
PLAYING]
213
00:08:54,868 --> 00:08:57,120
HANK: Evil!
Pure evil!
214
00:08:57,245 --> 00:09:00,040
First he locks up my girlfriend,
then he takes my job,
215
00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:01,332
then he vandalizes
216
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,585
my hover-tronic
means of personal conveyance!
217
00:09:03,710 --> 00:09:05,754
He's destroying my life!
218
00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,338
Hey, there, uh, slugger.
219
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,799
Who's put the angry little bee
in your bonnet?
220
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:11,301
Wide Wale.
221
00:09:11,426 --> 00:09:12,969
Wide Wa--
He's not supposed to --
222
00:09:13,094 --> 00:09:14,387
I'm dating his daughter.
223
00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:16,848
Whoa-ho!
Dating the enemy's daughter?
224
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:21,061
It's like Romeo and Juliet.
Or me and Princess Tiny Feet.
225
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:23,563
See, her dad was this
Native American crime fighter,
226
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:25,023
name of Chief Justice.
227
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:26,900
He just about
went on the warpath
228
00:09:27,025 --> 00:09:28,651
when I proposed
to his little squaw.
229
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:30,153
Golly.
What'd you do?
230
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:32,906
I marched right up
to his titanium tepee
231
00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:35,450
with one of my famous baskets
of howdy-do.
232
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:38,369
- And that worked?
- No! He shot me on the spot.
233
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:41,289
You know what I did?
I shot him right back.
234
00:09:42,373 --> 00:09:43,666
Uh...
235
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:47,045
- A-Are they here yet?
- Who? The ghosts?
236
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:49,798
DR. ORPHEUS:
Hear me, Ventures!
237
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,592
See me!
238
00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:57,555
Never fear!
The Order of the Triad is here!
239
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,975
Uh, almost.
240
00:10:12,278 --> 00:10:13,530
[SNIFFS]
241
00:10:13,655 --> 00:10:15,281
New York,
just like I pictured it --
242
00:10:15,406 --> 00:10:17,534
skyscrapers and everything.
243
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:19,410
[GROANS] Damn, my blood eye
had its freak on
244
00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:20,870
since we hit Jersey.
245
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:22,288
Town must be crawling
with blaculas.
246
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:23,498
You sure it ain't
just allergies?
247
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,041
I packed the Claritin.
248
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:26,918
What you got,
the regular or the D?
249
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:28,920
- D.
- Aw, no way, man.
250
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:31,714
Can't do the D.
Gives me the jimjams.
251
00:10:38,346 --> 00:10:40,473
- SIRENA: Da! What the fuck!
- [FEEDBACK WHINES]
252
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:41,850
Language, tadpole!
253
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:44,978
Fine, why the shit are your
goons welding my windows shut?
254
00:10:45,103 --> 00:10:46,396
What am I, your prisoner now?
255
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:47,814
It ain't like that, sweetheart.
256
00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:49,649
I'm just trying
to keep you safe.
257
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:53,236
Ugh! From who? Hank?
He's a nice boy, Pop.
258
00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:55,780
He's an outsider!
Figlio del nemico.
259
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,073
He ain't family.
260
00:10:57,198 --> 00:10:58,616
So, what, I'm supposed
to date my family?
261
00:10:58,741 --> 00:10:59,993
Okay, Dad.
262
00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:02,245
I'll hook up with cousin
Salvatore with the lazy eye.
263
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:03,913
We'll pop out a bunch
of flipper babies.
264
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,957
This is why I barred
your windows.
265
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:09,002
This Blue Morpho,
he don't play by the rules.
266
00:11:09,127 --> 00:11:11,504
I can't risk nothing
happening to you.
267
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:14,299
Hey, Hank.
What are you doing?
268
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:16,718
N-Nothing.
What are you doing?
269
00:11:16,843 --> 00:11:18,678
Nothing.
270
00:11:18,803 --> 00:11:21,097
Thank you for coming
on such short notice.
271
00:11:21,222 --> 00:11:23,808
My apologies for appearing
in my astral form,
272
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,935
but the Triad and I
are currently ensconced
273
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:27,770
in bumper-upon-bumper traffic
274
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:30,106
on your
Franklin Delano Roosevelt Drive.
275
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:32,692
Is Mr. Samson
not joining us?
276
00:11:32,817 --> 00:11:35,778
He refuses to sleep in here.
That's how serious this is.
277
00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:37,697
It's scare-a-Brock spooky.
278
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:40,283
Oh, great.
You called him.
279
00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:42,118
But I had to.
You wouldn't listen.
280
00:11:42,243 --> 00:11:43,703
You just kept
mansplaining it away.
281
00:11:43,828 --> 00:11:45,246
I was science-splaining.
282
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:46,664
And I told you,
it's a computer glitch.
283
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:48,791
We don't need a "magic man."
284
00:11:48,917 --> 00:11:51,377
Dr. Byron Orpheus!
285
00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:52,378
Master metaphysician,
286
00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:55,548
president and founder
of the Order of the Triad.
287
00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:56,591
Yes.
Hello, Orpheus.
288
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:57,926
- I know you.
- Oh, do you?
289
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,762
Seven unaccepted friend requests
would suggest otherwise.
290
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,263
Never said I was your friend.
291
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:05,475
You are indeed, and despite
your cheeky nonchalance,
292
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:06,976
a friend in need.
293
00:12:07,101 --> 00:12:10,188
Your boy, here, has apprised me
of your supernatural quandary.
294
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:12,232
Oh, damn!
They got a pool!
295
00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:14,234
Sweet!
I packed my trunks.
296
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:17,403
Eh, you must forgive the boyish
exuberance of my compeers.
297
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:19,572
Since the fire which consumed
your former compound,
298
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:21,824
the Triad have been
temporarily headquartered
299
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:23,368
in the comparatively
modest lodgings
300
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:25,995
of the Rancho Feo Motor Hotel.
301
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:29,123
- That shithole out on I-25?
- The same.
302
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,709
You, however, have done quite
well for yourself, Mr. Venture.
303
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,461
Heated! It's heated!
304
00:12:33,586 --> 00:12:36,506
But I fear your success
comes at a spiritual price.
305
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:41,052
Since the moment I arrived,
my extrasensory, um, senses
306
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:44,138
have been acutely aware
of an unseen presence.
307
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:48,935
Mr. Venture,
your home is possessed!
308
00:12:54,732 --> 00:12:55,984
[SIGHS]
Boy, hacker movies
309
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:58,278
always make this seem
way more exciting.
310
00:12:58,403 --> 00:13:00,113
Yeah, without
the dramatic close-ups
311
00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:01,864
and, like,
a booming techno score,
312
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,075
real-life hacking
is just typing.
313
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,119
Throw me a bone, dude.
All right.
314
00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:09,163
Just turn to be dramatically
and say, "We're in."
315
00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:10,331
We're in.
316
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:12,125
Yes! Boom.
317
00:13:17,213 --> 00:13:19,215
- Oh!
- Oh! What the...
318
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,093
Ooh.
How's that for exciting, huh?
319
00:13:22,218 --> 00:13:23,553
Screw this!
I'm out of here.
320
00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:24,679
Wait a minute.
321
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,639
Rusty said we had to stay here
until this is fixed.
322
00:13:26,764 --> 00:13:29,309
Uh, you're the computer expert.
You stay.
323
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:32,103
This neurogeneticist
is going the hell home.
324
00:13:33,354 --> 00:13:36,524
All right. Looks like it's just
you and me, little pink pally.
325
00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:38,568
Time to find out what you know.
326
00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:39,402
[GRUNTS]
327
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:40,862
[DOORBELL RINGING]
328
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:44,741
[CHUCKLING] Oh, you got to
be kidding me.
329
00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:47,535
Greetings.
We got off on the wrong foot.
330
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,245
Allow me to introduce myself.
331
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:50,496
My name is Hank Venture.
332
00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:53,207
I seek an audience with
the great and powerful Wide Wale
333
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,959
to bargain
for his daughter's hand.
334
00:13:55,084 --> 00:13:56,419
As a token of my goodwill,
335
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:59,589
I present to you a gift --
this artisanal pizza.
336
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:02,383
Kid, you really don't know
how to take a hint,
337
00:14:02,508 --> 00:14:04,886
so, uh, let me spell it out
for you, Hank Venture.
338
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:07,388
You so much as even look
at Sirena again,
339
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,307
you'll lose more
than your job, hotpants.
340
00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:12,643
50,000 volts
straight to your braciole.
341
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:15,563
Zap. Nothing but taint
left down there.
342
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,649
[CLEARS THROAT] My mistake.
D-Don't worry.
343
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:21,694
You won't be seeing
Hank Venture again.
344
00:14:21,819 --> 00:14:23,446
Oh, I ain't worried, peaches.
345
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,325
Light of the ancients.
346
00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:28,993
Light which is white.
347
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:30,578
Light of all knowing.
348
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:34,165
ALL: Reveal the unseen
in the shadows of night!
349
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:36,584
Great, does this make us all
Green Lanterns now?
350
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:39,253
The Spell of Revelation
compels the demonic presence
351
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:41,756
to become visible,
that we may do battle with it.
352
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,257
See, this is why I didn't
want Dean to call you,
353
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,717
this kind of crap right here.
354
00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:46,803
Did you have to get paint
all over my nice marble?
355
00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:48,554
The circle's
for your protection.
356
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:50,306
You don't want to do this
without a circle.
357
00:14:50,431 --> 00:14:52,475
There was already
a huge circle here!
358
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:53,559
Wasn't magic.
359
00:14:53,684 --> 00:14:55,937
Can we please focus, gentlemen?
360
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,355
The demon will try to use
361
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,232
your thoughts and desires
against you.
362
00:14:59,357 --> 00:15:02,026
All of you, clear your minds.
363
00:15:02,151 --> 00:15:04,028
Al, stop thinking
about that robot.
364
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:06,114
[CHUCKLING] I can't help it.
He's nutsy.
365
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,782
Hey, O,
demon ain't gonna bring up
366
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:09,200
what happened to my mama, is it?
367
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,952
Well, it will now.
368
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:13,663
Yo, demon, no mamas!
369
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,667
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
370
00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:22,922
[GHOSTS SHRIEKING]
371
00:15:23,047 --> 00:15:25,133
Okay.
Those are new.
372
00:15:25,258 --> 00:15:27,427
You're making this worse now!
373
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:28,719
[BARKING]
374
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,721
Easy, girl! Easy!
375
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,432
Uncle Kano's our guest.
376
00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:34,600
You know Kano.
It's Kano.
377
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:38,020
Oh, goodness. I don't know
what's gotten into Mischa today.
378
00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:40,106
Racist!
Racist dog right there.
379
00:15:40,231 --> 00:15:42,692
Should have seen her haul off
on the Con Ed guy yesterday.
380
00:15:42,817 --> 00:15:44,652
Oh, it's just
her eyesight's going.
381
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:47,864
- She's got the cataracts.
- Hot spots and the mange.
382
00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:50,199
You should just
put her down already, Horace.
383
00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:51,534
Put you down.
384
00:15:51,659 --> 00:15:53,870
This old gal's still got
a lot of fight in her.
385
00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:57,123
Don't you, girl? Don't you?
Oh! Thieving black terror!
386
00:15:57,248 --> 00:15:59,125
Go on, then!
Have your prize!
387
00:15:59,250 --> 00:16:01,502
Don't come crying to me
when you have the trots!
388
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:04,714
I'm home! Please tell me
you're all decent this time.
389
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:07,633
Eh, pull up a chair, laddie.
Wee bit of dim sum left.
390
00:16:07,758 --> 00:16:10,344
Or you're welcome to fight
Mischa for the last rib.
391
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:11,721
Say, uh, where's your
392
00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,806
pigmentally challenged
better half?
393
00:16:13,931 --> 00:16:16,267
Ah, Rusty made him stay late
to fix the computer.
394
00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:18,352
Thinks we have
a hacker or something.
395
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:19,729
The screen just
totally went nuts
396
00:16:19,854 --> 00:16:21,772
and started blasting the theme
from Sharky's Machine.
397
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:23,024
[SILVERWARE CLINKS]
398
00:16:23,149 --> 00:16:23,858
[WHIMPERS]
399
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,527
Oh, my.
What is it, Rodney?
400
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,279
Boys looks like
you've seen a ghost.
401
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:32,116
Oh, no. It's nothing
like that, Rose. It's just...
402
00:16:32,241 --> 00:16:34,535
- Dude!
- She'll be fine in an hour.
403
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,996
Rodney, fetch us an Uber.
404
00:16:37,121 --> 00:16:41,584
Now tell me, how long
has Rusty had the PROBLEM?
405
00:16:41,709 --> 00:16:44,045
[SHOUTING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE]
406
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:45,922
Shoo!
407
00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:47,757
Hey, Al, what are they saying?
408
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:50,635
Uh, "mask" something --
"gold mask"?
409
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,553
They-- They want
their mask back.
410
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,514
Tell them they can have it.
It's right up there.
411
00:16:55,973 --> 00:16:58,684
That is most definitely
not a tumbaga mask.
412
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:00,019
What is that?
413
00:17:00,144 --> 00:17:01,145
Uh, I made it in art class.
414
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:03,022
Who told you you could take art?
415
00:17:03,147 --> 00:17:04,732
- [BARKING]
- God, is that Scamp I?
416
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:05,816
Aww!
417
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:09,904
Launched aboard the VenStar 1
lunar probe in 1966,
418
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:13,449
Scamp I was the first dog
to die on the moon.
419
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:14,408
Aw.
420
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,494
You locked all the doors!
421
00:17:16,619 --> 00:17:18,538
Holy hat factory!
422
00:17:18,663 --> 00:17:20,831
It's the victims of
the great Venture millinery fire
423
00:17:20,957 --> 00:17:22,333
of 19-aught-7!
424
00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:24,835
The deadly blaze
began in the attic
425
00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:28,422
when a dumpster full of felt
straps was struck by a zeppelin.
426
00:17:28,548 --> 00:17:30,758
Yes, yes, we're getting
off topic here, Sergeant.
427
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,468
Please disperse, spirits.
428
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:35,012
Please,
just move into the light!
429
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:37,056
Or don't.
I really don't care.
430
00:17:37,181 --> 00:17:38,808
We're attempting
to speak to another.
431
00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:42,645
Demon, show thyself!
432
00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:49,277
[THE CRUSADERS' "STREET LIFE"
PLAYS]
433
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:53,656
♪ I still hang around ♪
434
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:56,867
I'll say this -- Vincenzo makes
the best slice in the city.
435
00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:58,494
[CHUCKLES] Yeah,
almost makes up for him
436
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,371
scuffing my knuckles
with his face.
437
00:18:00,496 --> 00:18:01,706
[CHUCKLES]
438
00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:02,832
- [GASPS]
- [THUDDING]
439
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,419
- [DOOR OPENS]
- Rocco?
440
00:18:12,675 --> 00:18:13,884
[GROANS]
441
00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:17,263
Daddy, what's going on?
442
00:18:17,388 --> 00:18:18,973
Go back to your room, tadpole.
443
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,516
Daddy will handle this.
444
00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:24,604
Slippery little son of a bitch,
ain't you, Morpho?
445
00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,147
I don't know
how you got past my boys,
446
00:18:26,272 --> 00:18:28,441
but you're swimming
with the big fish now.
447
00:18:28,566 --> 00:18:30,067
Show yourself!
448
00:18:33,904 --> 00:18:35,197
Who the hell are you?
449
00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:37,366
Allow me to introduce-a myself.
450
00:18:37,491 --> 00:18:40,620
Mi chiamo Matassa.
Enrico Matassa.
451
00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:43,831
Never heard of you.
So, uh, what is this?
452
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,125
New guy in town
trying to make his rep
453
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:47,918
by taking out the alpha whale?
454
00:18:48,044 --> 00:18:49,795
More like an audition.
455
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:53,090
You see how easy Enrico Matassa
take out-a you best men.
456
00:18:53,215 --> 00:18:54,717
Well, that is just a taste
457
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:57,595
of Enrico Matassa's
many-a talents.
458
00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,014
Per favore, Don Wide Wale,
459
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:04,560
Enrico Matassa wants
to come work for you.
460
00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:08,939
Triad, gird thyselves.
461
00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:11,067
The demon may try to lash out.
462
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,528
[BEEPING]
463
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,614
Your robot is in the thrall
of the demon!
464
00:19:16,739 --> 00:19:19,784
He is the Devil's concubine!
465
00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:21,160
[BEEPS]
466
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,079
Probably a computer glitch.
467
00:19:23,746 --> 00:19:27,249
Quickly, Jefferson!
The Prisebar of St. George!
468
00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:29,543
Uh, I--
It's back in the Blood Vessel.
469
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,545
Your sword, then!
Make haste!
470
00:19:34,298 --> 00:19:36,550
[GRUNTING]
471
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,261
[CRASH, TIRES SCREECH]
472
00:19:39,387 --> 00:19:40,971
Rusty, wait! Don't!
473
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:48,187
What-- What the hell is that?
474
00:19:48,312 --> 00:19:49,689
Rusty, we can explain.
475
00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:51,065
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.
476
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:53,651
- That can't be! That isn't--
- Rusty.
477
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:55,861
That's your pop-pop.
478
00:19:57,905 --> 00:19:59,615
WIDE WALE:
Now, I want you to understand
479
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:01,283
what you're getting into,
youngblood.
480
00:20:01,409 --> 00:20:05,871
Joining the crew, it's, uh,
like a sacred covenant, yeah?
481
00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:08,749
You walk through this door,
ain't no turning back.
482
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:11,168
Uh, are you gonna baptize me?
483
00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:13,170
- Something like that.
- [GASPS]
484
00:20:13,295 --> 00:20:15,840
Relax, Matassa.
[CHUCKLES]
485
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:17,341
You want in this family,
486
00:20:17,466 --> 00:20:19,927
you got to do one thing
for me first.
487
00:20:21,762 --> 00:20:23,639
Kill this asshole.
488
00:20:23,764 --> 00:20:25,891
QUIZBOY:
The brain is alive,
489
00:20:26,016 --> 00:20:29,145
but it's in a semicomatose
state, but look at this.
490
00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:32,064
Somehow it's hardwired
to all the building's systems.
491
00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:34,066
It's like a synthetic
nervous system.
492
00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:36,068
There's even a makeshift
digestive tract
493
00:20:36,193 --> 00:20:39,071
providing nutrients
to his biologic-- Wow. Ew!
494
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:41,741
Excellent source of protein.
Zero net carbs.
495
00:20:41,866 --> 00:20:44,076
You people did this?
What kind of sick--
496
00:20:44,201 --> 00:20:46,412
Why did you stick my father's
head in the PROBLEM light?
497
00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:48,664
It's pronounced "PRO-BLEM" --
498
00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:51,625
Progressive Biological
Life Extension Module.
499
00:20:51,751 --> 00:20:53,544
Ol' Jonas gave Team Venture
500
00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:56,130
explicit orders to place
his body in the PROBLEM
501
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,090
in the event of his death.
502
00:20:58,215 --> 00:21:01,385
Geez, I'm gonna have to redo
all the narration on this tour.
503
00:21:01,510 --> 00:21:03,387
Well, why didn't
anyone ever tell me?!
504
00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:06,307
Well, wasn't much of him left
for the PROBLEM to work with.
505
00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:09,059
We never expected
the blasted light to come on.
506
00:21:09,185 --> 00:21:11,979
And in 30 years,
it just never did.
507
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,398
- Yeah, it did. A couple--
- Uh, don't interrupt, boy.
508
00:21:14,523 --> 00:21:16,150
- Rusty?
- Fuck!
509
00:21:16,275 --> 00:21:18,819
[COUGHING]
What is that smell?
510
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:21,614
We didn't pack him a toothbrush.
511
00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:25,451
Dad?
C-Can you hear me?
512
00:21:25,576 --> 00:21:27,661
Rust!
I traced the hack!
513
00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:29,413
It's coming from inside
that thing!
514
00:21:29,538 --> 00:21:31,332
Stand back!
I got to sever the hard line!
515
00:21:31,457 --> 00:21:32,458
DR. VENTURE: No, White!
Don't--
516
00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:36,003
- [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING]
- [HOWLING]
517
00:21:36,128 --> 00:21:37,713
[ALL SCREAMING]
518
00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:41,550
[TIRES SCREECH]
519
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:51,852
What's happening?!
520
00:21:52,061 --> 00:21:53,020
Something's wrong!
521
00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:54,939
DR. ORPHEUS:
Oh, dear.
522
00:21:55,064 --> 00:21:56,440
He's trying to...
523
00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:58,734
run away!