You traveling with two sheilas, are you, mate?
Uh, yep
- Two, eh? - Yep
That'll be a bit of fun, eh?
Yeah, yeah
Just sign there
They get, uh, real easy when they travel
Loosen up a bit, hey?
Mate of mine reckons He picks 'em up all the time
Uh-huh
- That's it? - Yep, yep
Good on ya, champ
Don't do anything I wouldn't do, eh?
Nah I won't
Send us a card
All right
Fat fuck What a tool
How funny's that?
I like that I think we should send that one
Do ya reckon?
Yep
How long is this gonna take, mate?
Not long
How long's not long?
Well, I've almost got it
Yep
- Yep - Yep!
OK
Yep
Yep!
Yep
- Yep - Yep
He fancies you
He doesn't
- Does - You fancy him
I don't think so
The three of us are going to be stuck in a car together for three weeks,
and it'll be trying enough without "is it me, or is he being weird today?"
Lt'd drive me barmy
Yeah You're right
He is cute, though
Do you think he's really got a girlfriend in Sydney?
Why would he lie?
He's a bloke
I can't believe we're leaving
I know
It feels like two years, not two weeks
Whoo!
Wow!
- Want a lift? - I'd love it
I thought I requested purple
Eh For 1,500 bucks we're lucky it's got doors
I love it
Hey, where's my stuff?
We forgot about food for you Sorry
Yeah, we thought you'd get by on our gratitude and appreciation
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Where's the booze?
Oh, we've made a decision
After last night, never drinking again
We've got to get an early start
if we want to get to Wolf Creek by tomorrow night
Mm-hmm
Piss off Of course I checked
How much of an organization Nazi is she?
No, she's right In bed by 9:30
This is bad, actually
Oh!
You weren't gonna drink that Is that your beer?
- Patrick Pleased to meet you - Nice to meet you
That's a pretty nice handshake there Let's give it a kiss
Lovely, lovely
- I can pack a punch - You can pack a punch?
Why would you want that?
- I would if I had to - If you had to?
You gotta hear this bullshit story
Bullshit! It wasn't bullshit!
Ten foot wave sprayin'
Shh! Shh!
Go on!
I think it's past 9:30
I got the worst taste in my mouth
? I'd like to sing a song for you
OK, let me start again
Here we go
- ? I love her - Oh, God
? I really, really love her
? Make me smile all the time
? When you cook my food and you clean my room
? I love you, Mum I love you, Mum
? He's been playing guitar
? For a few weeks now
? And he's really, really, really crap
? And he's crap
? Really shit
? I'm not that bad
Oh, my God!
Yeah, that's cool
That's amazing
You're near the world's fifth biggest UFO sighting area
- Kristy, I'm serious - I know!
- I can hear you laughing - What? I'm listening
Fine
- I'm listening - Tell us
Don't listen to her Tell me I'm listening
All right I read about this guy
who was driving out on the highway out there
And he sees this light ahead of him, around 500 meters,
and at first he thinks it's a truck or a semi-trailer or something,
'cause the light's really bright, like glowing orange and shit
- Yeah - But as he gets closer,
he realizes that the light's about 10 meters off the ground,
just hanging in mid-air
So he's scared, freaking out
And then he hears this crack!
Like an explosion
- That was supposed to scare us - I know, it's scary
But he did He heard this crack
Like an explosion of a jet
And itjust took off into the sky, straight up like a rocket
And then as soon as it was gone,
his carjust stopped in the middle of the road,
and it was totally silent
He was just sitting there, staring up at the stars
In the middle of nowhere
- Hey - No reason Just stopped
- Is that a true story? - I read it
You've got something dripping off your lip there
What?
Oh, it's all right It's just bullshit
No, bullshit you, mate!
What's all this shit?
- Oh, for the tent - For the tent
- Here, I'll do that Start on the tent - No, you do the tent
I don't know what you two would do without me
- I didn't finish that - Oh, sorry
- This is it - I finished it for you
- What? - I didn't know what to do!
- All right? - Yep
Now we just got a six-hour drive Who's driving first?
- Oh! - Who's driving first?
I don't know I'll go in the back
- Is that all right with you? - Yeah
- I'll go in the back - Do you want to drive?
We're here, guys
Well, well, well
Hey, um, can I have the keys?
Oh, it's OK, you two I've got it
Thanks No problems, guys
How's the hair?
Day one Captain's log
So far, no sign of intelligent life forms
Starting to doubt Hey
- Howdy - Howdy
Um, do you wanna say hello?
- Hello
Righto What's your name?
- Graham - Graham
Nice to meet you, Graham
I'm Ben
- This one too? - Yeah, man
I think someone's got a crush on you
Yeah, the attendant I thought so
- No - Graham
- Uh-uh - Uh-uh
I'm getting the feeling it's mutual Am I wrong?
You know it's true!
- Do you mind? - You do!
I think it's absolutely fabulous
But don't go dicking her around, because she's totally brilliant
If you hurt her, I'm going to have to kill you
So my advice is that we have an awesome time together
You sort out whatever it is going on between you and this
so-called girlfriend you've allegedly got
By the time we get to Cairns, we'll find some freakishly hot man for me,
and we'll all, you know, go crazy together, all right?
All right
She's only a little one, isn't she?
I reckon I could break that in half real quickly, eh?
Youse two'd be watching me
Here comes yours now, mate
What a place, huh?
Hey, uh Hey, mate Oi
Oi Hey, come here I got a question for ya
All right You keep that
How're you going?
Hey, uh
Me and me mates are gonna see
if your girlfriends would be interested in a little bit of a gang bang
We just want to make sure it's all right with you first
Good on ya Fuckhead
Hey, what'd you say?
I said
I said that's, um
a nice smile you got
Bazza, don't be a dickhead
See you later, sweetheart
Bye
Fucking assholes
Bunch of morons Honestly
- Yeah Forget about it, Ben - No, I should've smashed him
I should've T'ai Ohi'd his ass
I'm serious
The weather's shit
Yeah All of a sudden
I think it's the start of the wet season, so
That's beautiful over there, isn't it?
That light coming up through the mountains It's gorgeous
I hope it doesn't rain
what?
- I said I hope it doesn't rain - Man, it's gonna be cold tonight
I mean cold
Great
Hey, I think that's the start of it
So it's in there? You've got to climb over the top?
Um, yeah
Aw!
- What was that? - Rock
There's just nothing out here
I know It's great
Here we go Wolf Creek Crater!
- Crater! We're here! - Whoo!
"Walking trail"
- "Allow, three Three hours" - Three hours?
Is that three hours to get all the way to the middle or to get up to the top?
- I imagine it's to the top - It's to the top
No camping Hiking's allowed
Put rubbish in your bin and no fires OK
Right Great Let's go
- Wow Madame - Thank you
- Wolf Creek awaits you - Oh, wow!
Wolf Creek!
Wow
It's a souvenir
What is with this weather?
- Maybe we should take an umbrella - Yeah
Yeah, definitely
What do you want to take?
- All of it - All what's in the Esky
- And who's carrying all of this? - You are
- Just all of it - All right, three hours
- Let's do it! - Let's go
Oh, wait
Oh, there's poo everywhere!
Yay! We're on the poo planet
There's another skull Look
They're bones!
Oh, my God, there's bones everywhere!
What are you doing? It's not raining that bad
Yeah, it is It's freezing I've got no jumper
- Where did the meteorite go? - It's in the middle
- Just went into the ground? - Yeah
Look how good it looks Ooo-ooh!
Come on!
Whoo!
Here
You all right?
Wow That's impressive
You're looking at one of the biggest meteorite craters on the planet
They reckon the explosion from the impact
would've been like 200 nuclear bombs going off at the same time
Some guys discovered it scouting for an oil company in 1947
Imagine being the first person to see it
Hey Let's go
You all right?
- This is great, Ben - Yeah Thank you
It's fantastic Thank you
Such a sweetheart, aren't you?
Loving it
Yeah It's great
Sorry I didn't know
It'll clear Give it a couple of hours
Thank you
Back soon
Where are you going?
I wonder why the meteor hit here
In this place Nowhere else
Maybe it was drawn to something in the Earth
- Like when lightning strikes - Hmm
- Yeah? - Hmm
- Hi - Hey
That's awesome
I was wondering what that would be like
Kris, what's the time?
Uh, don't know Watch has stopped
It's like Niagara Falls!
Whoo!
- Hey, have you got the time? - Nah It's busted
I'd say it's about 7:00 So about an hour till dark
We'll make it back to Halls Creek, easy
Kristy's watch stopped too
- Bullshit Did it really? - Yeah
6:30 Mine too
What, batteries or something?
You got the keys?
Make sure you warm her up first
- It's weird weather, eh? - Yeah, I reckon God
See you later, Wolf Creek
- What's wrong? - I don't know
Did we leave the lights on?
No
Is it Is it in gear?
No Try Try again
Fuck
OK
Shit
Uh, pop Pop the hood
It's probably just the battery terminals
This one
Do you know what you're looking for?
Oh
Are you gonna tell Liz?
I've got a feeling she already knows
I'll go see what I can do
Did you hear that?
- You didn't leave the lights on? - No
No
Fucker
Looks like we might be spending the night
This is fucked
Bitch
I am your father
Do you think it means anything?
I mean, the watches and the car not working
- What do you mean? - Well
You know the stories I was telling you last night about the UFOs and stuff
And when they were around,
well, things stopped working
Could be the same kind of thing
Ben, I really don't think we need to be talking about that right now
OK
There's something out there
- And it ain't no man - No, no I saw some lights
- Where? - Right Right there
- There - What the hell?
No, no, no Don't fucking What?
- It might be a car! - Well, it might not be a car!
- That don't look like no car - Shit It's coming this way
Fuck, it is coming this way Shit
- Fuck! - Fuck It is coming this way
- Should we run? - No, no, no!
Just stay in the car! Don't move
Hold on Hang on, it's a car
How do you know?
It's a bloody car! Shit!
I can hear the engine
What the bloody hell are you mob doing out here?
Scared the shit out of me
We thought it was aliens
- Well, she did - Hi
It was pissing down with rain earlier I was just about to chuck it in
Lucky for you mob I decided to hang around a bit longer, eh?
Yeah We were just getting ready to spend the night too
Ah, well We'll get you outta here quick smart
Come on, you bloody sparkplug!
Where ya heading?
- Darwin, sort of - Yeah, then on to Cairns
- That's where we're really headed - Long drive
- Yeah - It's too long
- British, are youse? - Yeah
- That's right - Ben's an Aussie, though
- Yeah? Where ya from, mate? - Sydney
Poofta capital of Australia
Just playing with you, tiger
Never been over there myself
Lucky you sheilas are traveling with a bloke
Can't be too careful
- Ooh! - Nothing wrong with the battery
- I told you we'd be all right - I know He's hilarious
He's like one of those guys from the outback Australia shows
- Yeah! - Like Crocodile Dundee
He's a pisser
You're an Aussie How come you don't talk like him?
You want the bad news? Or the really bad news?
Well, your coil's rooted Cactus You're not going nowhere
- What can we do? - Fuck I had it totally checked
- Ben Fuck - Must be something we can do
You take the old one out, bung the new one in, Bob's your sister
The only good news is I got the gear to do it
Problem is, it's back at my camp just down the road a ways
I'm going back down there anyway,
so I could give you a tow, fix it tonight
Probably have you on the road by morning
Otherwise, someone'll be coming through here
Eventually
Make up your mind, 'cause I gotta get a rattle on
- Thank you - Thank you
- What do you guys want to do? - Might as well
He's not going to fix it for free, is he?
What if he wants a couple hundred pounds or something?
- A thousand, what? I don't know - OK, OK
OK, first we gotta find out if he wants any money or not
- I don't have a lot of cash on me - Me, neither
Nor do I
Duh
Why don't we get him to tow us to town, and we'll get someone there?
Yeah
- OK - Go on
- You go on, you ask him - I don't want to
Go on It's a bloke thing Go on
Yeah, you must Please?
- Yeah - It's a bloke thing
Ask him
- You didn't need any help? - Nah, I'm all right Thanks, though
Certain way of putting it in
Um, I know it's a long way, but the girls were wondering
if you could tow us back into town
I mean, we don't wanna put you out any more than we already have
Look, I'd really like to help you, mate,
but I'm not heading that way, you know?
If you don't want the lift, that's up to you, but I'm heading south
- South - Yeah, south
South
- You wanna go north - Yeah
I'm heading south
Yeah
- Bit of a bugger - Bugger Yeah
So, um
- Well, with that coil - Yeah?
and stuff
How much would that cost, say if we just got you to do that?
It's not fuckin' Pitt Street, mate!
Of course I'm not gonna charge you, you stupid bastard! Hey?
You hear that? "How much?"
Hey?
- Oh, you sure? - Oh, Jesus, you make me laugh
You must keep the little buggers amused, hey?
Yeah
You amuse the bloody bejesus out of me
All right I'll get the girls going
- That'd be a good idea - Yeah, good idea
- Off you go - Off I go
Yay
All right
Where did he say his place was again?
South
It feels like we've been driving for hours
We shouldn't be too far
That's what you said an hour ago
OK, let's just get him to drop us off here then, all right?
It's cool
He said it was gonna be a bit of a drive, didn't he?
Mm-hmm
It's cool
Must be some sort of mining operation
Hmm Looks like a ghost town
- We're here - Thank God
Wherever here is
- I have plenty of water there - Aw, thank you
It's the one thing that we don't have plenty of
Oheers
Nothing like rainwater from the top end
Hey, Mick, this place is amazing
I can't believe they just walked out and left all this stuff here
Plenty of places like this all over the outback
Thousands of 'em Places people've forgotten about
Must be a whole town out there somewhere
Got lost in a six-month dust storm back in the '40s
The people just walked away
I heard of blokes gettin' lost on their own farms
Just never found their way out
- On their own property? - Mm-hmm
That's amazing
Oh, there's one up here that crosses three states, right?
- Takes six days to drive across - No!
I I We used to work out there once
- What'd you do there? - Head shooter
You know, clearin' vermin
Roos, horses, pigs, buffalo You name it
Don't work there no more
Use poisons You know, instead of shooters
Yeah, used to used to fly in with the helicopters
You fly in low over a herd of water buffalo
Sometimes take out 50 head in an afternoon
I wore out five bolts on a303 one year
Pigs Pigs were different You have to get in close
Get the dogs onto 'em, and then you go in with a knife
You had to get in under him, you know, while the pig's fighting off the dogs
And you had to be quick
Otherwise, you'd lose your guts on its tusk
Sharp!
I seen a big boar pig, right?
Take a pitbull's head clean off one time
Little legs still pumpin' away
Oh!
- Fair dinkum - Fair dinkum?
That's what I said, yeah
Fair dinkum
Wow Poor little fella
- So, um, where do you live? - Oh, I get around, you know
Never know where I might pop up
- Man, you must love the freedom - What?
The freedom You know, you must love it
You know, hangin' out in nature and shit
- Right - Yeah
You get to, like, you know, cruise around the bush
Saying cool stuff like, "that's not a knife, this is a knife"
You know what I'm talking about? Yeah?
What do you actually do now?
Oh, I could tell ya, but then I'd have to kill ya
So you don't really shoot kangaroos, do you?
I'm doing people a service by taking out a few roos
They're everywhere out here now
Like tourists
Oh Excusez moi
Oi
Oi Your turn
Fair go
Bloody women here, son
Well, um, I'll let you know when I get it goin' What do ya reckon?
- Thank you - No worries
- Thank you - Thanks
"But then I'd have to kill ya"
Shh
What?
Did you see the way he was looking at you?
He's trying to impress us with his great white hunter thing
But he's doing us a favor He probably doesn't appreciate us
cracking jokes at his expense Seriously
- Let's get the car fixed - That's what we're doing
Don't freak out
- You all right? - Fine, thanks
Thanks again for helping us out
No worries
Obviously, it'd be great to get going as soon as possible
No worries
Ben
Ben, move the Esky away from the fire
Ben
Oh!
No!
No! Aah!
Please don't kill me
Please
Please! Aah!
Please!
Don't kill me! Please!
No!
Don't kill me!
Bang!
Well, nothing happens when the bolt's open, you see?
Uh-oh!
The look on your fuckin' face!
Why are you doing this?
Why?
Please! If you let me go, I won't tell anyone
- Shh, shh, shh - I won't! I won't!
Come on Calm down
Listen to Uncle Michael
Come on
Now, as I keep tellin' ya,
you know, I always use a rubber with you cunts
I don't know where you been
Fuck you!
Mmm
Mmm!
Get away from me!
Fuck you!
Fuck you, cunt!
No!
Aah!
Fuck you, cunt!
You fucking loser!
You fucking loser
Thank you very much
You know
You know how I know that you're not gonna tell nobody?
You know how I know?
No! No!
Off with your little pinkies
Fuck!
Ah!
Jesus Ohrist, Mick!
Rule number one Put the bloody fire out
For fuck's sake!
Bloody hell!
Shh! Kristy!
Shh! Shh!
Please! Shh!
Shh! Shh!
Where's Ben? Where's Ben?
Shh Kristy, you have to be quiet
Shh!
Oh You're still awake, are ya?
You know, a man's a real goose, eh?
I mean, it took four hours
to get those fuckin' parts out of your car, right?
Now the bastard thing's all burnt
What do ya think of that?
Bloody this, all
Now
Where were we?
Eh?
Oh, yeah
Let's play Hey?
You like to play, don't ya?
You like to play, hey? Hey? Hey?
You like to play, do ya? Hey? Hey?
That stupid bitch over there See that stupid bitch over there?
She loved it
While she lasted Good few months
We were great together, you know?
Till she lost her head!
How about
How about I cut your tits off, hey?
Cut your tits off
You're all the same, you foreign cunts
Weak as piss
Now, how the hell did you get out?
You're wasting your time, eh?
It's not loaded I only put one up the spout
Let her go
Now!
Get away from her!
Now!
Now, Lizzy
Now, a rifle in the wrong hands can be, you know, really dangerous
So, give me the fuckin'
Kill him!
No!
Please help me
Come on
No! No!
Where are you going?
Don't go!
Yes!
Hang onto something!
Go!
Come on!
Go, go, go, Liz!
Go, go!
Come on
- Push! - What?
He'll see the lights go over!
- Follow me - Are you joking?
Come on
He's going to check on us
Let's go
Fuck!
He killed that person back there
Did you see Ben?
She'd been alive for months
We've got to move
- He's going to do that to us - We can't go that way
- He's gonna see we're not down there - I know, I know!
I've got a set of keys
- He must have more cars - I'm not going back there
We're in the middle of fucking nowhere We need a car
Come on
Wait Wait
- Wait - You all right?
I just gotta catch my breath Wait
- You OK? - Yeah
It's all right It's all right
Listen, Kris
You're just gonna have to wait here for a minute, all right?
No!
- No! - Listen, it's just for five minutes
- Please, don't leave me Please! - Listen
- What if he catches me again? - He won't, he won't
Please, don't leave me!
He's not going to catch you again, all right?
You just have to wait here for five minutes, OK?
I'll be in and out I'll be quicker on my own, OK?
Listen
Look
If I'm not back, all right, in five minutes,
just head that way, OK?
And you'll hit a road eventually, all right?
I'll catch up with you
OK I'm quicker on my own All right? I'm coming back
- OK? - Wait
- Please - Five minutes
It's OK It's all right
- Don't go! - It's all right
What if he catches me again?
He's not He's not gonna
He's not gonna catch you again, all right?
Listen
Listen, you just wait here, all right?
Please hurry
Shit!
Oh, God
Uhh!
Uhh
Ahh!
Ben?
Ben
It's excellent Yeah, I've never seen better
Bella, bella, bellal
I'm sure we did I thought we got this fixed
- Honey, I'm not in the mood, all right?
- How's it going, mate? - Not too good
What do you expect?
He's from the country That's what happens
Country people are friendly, though
- Thirsty, are ya? - Yeah
Eh? Nothing like rainwater from the top end
So far, no sign of intelligent life forms
Um, do you wanna say hello?
- Righto What's your name? - Graham
Graham Nice to meet you, Graham
I'm Ben
- This one too? - Yeah, man
Ah!
Hey
Like your little mate said before, you know
That's not a knife
This is a knife
Now, come on Come on, Lizzie
Come on!
Settle down, you know
That's not gonna kill ya All right?
I got a bullet hole in me neck and I'm not whingeing, am I? No
I'm gonna have to do something, Lizzy
So as you don't try and run out on me, you know?
It's It's a little trick they used to use in the Vietnam War, you know?
So they could take prisoners
and they still get the same information out of 'em
But the little buggers didn't escape You with me?
You see what I mean? Eh?
No! No!
Now that!
That's for fuckin' wreckin' me fuckin' truck, you bitch!
Now, this little procedure
is called "making a head on a stick"
Because once your spine's severed, right
No!
That's what you are, hey?
Head on a stick
Now
Let's talk about your little mate, um, Kristy
Liz
What happened?
Jesus
I'll get a blanket Get you some help
No! No!
Oh!
Come on! Move!
Come on! Come on!
Come on! Fucking move!
Move! Come on! Fuck!
Come on!
No! No, no!
No
Fuck you! Fuck you!
Asshole!
Oh, fuck! No!
The winner!
Help!