1 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:07,670 Meredith: When there's a poisonous snake in our path, we freeze. 2 00:00:07,670 --> 00:00:10,580 [ Breathing deeply ] When we smell smoke, we run. 3 00:00:10,580 --> 00:00:14,540 When faced with danger, fear takes over, and we react, 4 00:00:14,540 --> 00:00:17,250 desperate to feel safe. Jo! 5 00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:18,960 You left while I was in the shower. 6 00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:19,830 What, are you avoiding me? 7 00:00:19,830 --> 00:00:20,830 Yes. 8 00:00:20,830 --> 00:00:22,500 Wait, not on purpose, no. 9 00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:24,380 Sorry. Hi. I just -- 10 00:00:24,380 --> 00:00:25,880 [ Inhales deeply ] Bailey's back to being chief tomorrow, 11 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:27,580 so I have one last shot at her full attention 12 00:00:27,580 --> 00:00:29,080 about a new grant for my fellowship, 13 00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:31,120 and I just -- I figured that you would want to sleep in. 14 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:33,000 Yeah, but I was in the shower. Right. 15 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:34,830 Jo, it's me. 16 00:00:34,830 --> 00:00:36,830 How long are we gonna do this? 17 00:00:36,830 --> 00:00:38,670 Whatever happened with your birth mom, you can tell me. 18 00:00:38,670 --> 00:00:39,790 Do you know what the funding limits are 19 00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:41,920 on an R90 or R15 grant? 20 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:43,620 No. Jo -- 21 00:00:43,620 --> 00:00:45,540 Okay, I got to figure that out before Bailey gets here. 22 00:00:45,540 --> 00:00:47,210 I'm...sorry. 23 00:00:47,210 --> 00:00:51,210 It's biological...primal. [ Sighs ] 24 00:00:51,210 --> 00:00:54,210 But for someone who suffers from trauma, 25 00:00:54,210 --> 00:00:56,710 it's the everyday things -- 26 00:00:56,710 --> 00:01:00,080 a song in a coffee shop, the smell of rubbing alcohol... 27 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:01,540 [ Bicycle bell dings ] 28 00:01:01,540 --> 00:01:04,830 ...seemingly random, common things 29 00:01:04,830 --> 00:01:07,880 convincing your brain and body you're in danger... 30 00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:09,120 [ Dog barks ] 31 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:10,380 ...and there is no way out. 32 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,540 [ Doorbell rings ] [ Breathes deeply ] 33 00:01:17,830 --> 00:01:19,040 [ Door creaks lightly ] 34 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:20,420 Hi. What can I do for you? 35 00:01:23,540 --> 00:01:25,580 I'm Dr. Karev. 36 00:01:25,580 --> 00:01:27,710 Josephine. Jo. 37 00:01:27,710 --> 00:01:29,670 Um... Josh: Mom, I can't find my shoes! 38 00:01:29,670 --> 00:01:31,290 Alexandra: They're in the kitchen, and they smell! 39 00:01:31,290 --> 00:01:32,960 Who ate all the cereal? 40 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,330 Honey, there's more in the pantry. Y-- 41 00:01:35,330 --> 00:01:37,170 [ Dog barking ] 42 00:01:37,170 --> 00:01:40,420 Well, apparently, my kids forgot that they were old enough 43 00:01:40,420 --> 00:01:42,830 to feed and clothe themselves today. 44 00:01:42,830 --> 00:01:45,000 You have kids. 45 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:48,670 Um, listen, if you're -- if you're selling magazines or -- 46 00:01:48,670 --> 00:01:50,670 or religion, we're good on both, so... 47 00:01:50,670 --> 00:01:51,670 But thank you so much. 48 00:01:51,670 --> 00:01:53,960 No, no. E-Emerson Hospital. 49 00:01:53,960 --> 00:01:55,670 Oh, right, okay. 50 00:01:55,670 --> 00:01:57,620 Well, if you just go here, and you take Willowbrook... 51 00:01:57,620 --> 00:01:59,000 No, no, I-I was -- ...and then you're gonna -- 52 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:02,080 I was born at Emerson Hospital, 53 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:06,210 and soon after, I was left at the fire station on 47th Street. 54 00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:08,080 I think that you're the person who left me. 55 00:02:10,790 --> 00:02:12,790 I think you're my mother. 56 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:23,040 [ Engines rumbling ] 57 00:02:23,040 --> 00:02:24,750 [ Horn honks ] 58 00:02:24,750 --> 00:02:27,040 You have your chemistry report? 59 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:28,420 [ Cellphone clicking ] It's a paper, Mom. 60 00:02:28,420 --> 00:02:29,790 Yeah, as long as it's done, 61 00:02:29,790 --> 00:02:31,710 you can call it whatever you like. 62 00:02:31,710 --> 00:02:34,330 Hey, um, I'm thinking about Cal's Burgers tonight. 63 00:02:34,330 --> 00:02:35,710 Celebrate your last day of sabbatical. 64 00:02:35,710 --> 00:02:37,290 [ Cellphone buttons clicking ] Can't. 65 00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:38,960 I have a thing tonight. [ Cellphone chimes ] 66 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:40,790 With who? 67 00:02:40,790 --> 00:02:42,500 [ Sighs ] With Kelly. 68 00:02:42,500 --> 00:02:44,210 There's a Kelly? Define "thing." 69 00:02:44,210 --> 00:02:46,670 We're just talking, is all. 70 00:02:46,670 --> 00:02:49,500 So, you can't come have burgers with us, 71 00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:52,250 because you're talking to Kelly. 72 00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:54,790 At a thing. Here's fine. 73 00:02:54,790 --> 00:02:55,790 [ Horn honks ] 74 00:02:55,790 --> 00:02:57,710 We're nowhere near the school. What? 75 00:02:57,710 --> 00:02:59,040 It's fine. 76 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:00,880 [ Indistinct conversations ] 77 00:03:00,880 --> 00:03:02,670 Bye, love you! Good luck with your re-- 78 00:03:02,670 --> 00:03:04,540 report! 79 00:03:04,540 --> 00:03:07,580 [ Indistinct conversations ] 80 00:03:07,580 --> 00:03:08,960 It's a paper. 81 00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:10,080 I know. 82 00:03:13,420 --> 00:03:15,460 Did he just put his arm around -- He put his hand... 83 00:03:15,460 --> 00:03:17,000 Woman on P.A.: Dr. Pannell to Plastics. 84 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,460 Dr. Pannell to Plastics. 85 00:03:19,460 --> 00:03:21,290 [ Indistinct conversations ] 86 00:03:21,290 --> 00:03:22,920 [ Telephone ringing in distance ] 87 00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:25,330 [ Indistinct conversations echoing ] 88 00:03:25,330 --> 00:03:27,420 [ Echoing ] Oh, my God! Sorry. Sorry. 89 00:03:27,420 --> 00:03:28,750 [ Gasps ] 90 00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:30,920 Hey, you -- you have a -- you have, um, a -- 91 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:32,380 [ Normal voice ] A-A crap sense of direction 92 00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:34,330 and can't find my way to the ER. 93 00:03:34,330 --> 00:03:36,210 It's one floor down, and then, if... 94 00:03:36,210 --> 00:03:38,210 [ Telephone rings in distance ] 95 00:03:38,210 --> 00:03:39,420 You know, why don't I take you? 96 00:03:41,540 --> 00:03:43,580 You ever have just a garbage sort of day? 97 00:03:43,580 --> 00:03:45,080 [ Scoffs ] 98 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,710 More times than I can count. 99 00:03:47,710 --> 00:03:49,920 This way. 100 00:03:49,920 --> 00:03:52,460 [ Telephone rings in distance ] 101 00:03:52,460 --> 00:03:54,250 [ Echoing ] You'll need stitches. 102 00:03:54,250 --> 00:03:57,210 I'll have a nurse bring you a blanket. 103 00:03:57,210 --> 00:03:59,960 [ Normal voice ] I feel so stupid. 104 00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:02,500 I was putting away dishes and just... 105 00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:04,620 smacked myself in the face with the cabinet. 106 00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:06,120 Such an idiot. 107 00:04:06,120 --> 00:04:07,670 [ Echoing ] That cut looks pretty deep, 108 00:04:07,670 --> 00:04:10,000 so Dr. Qadri will have to numb it before we can clean it. 109 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,790 When did this happen? 110 00:04:11,790 --> 00:04:13,710 [ Normal voice ] Last night. 111 00:04:13,710 --> 00:04:16,170 I thought it would be fine, but it just keeps bleeding. 112 00:04:16,170 --> 00:04:17,750 [ Echoing ] Dr. Qadri and I can help with that. 113 00:04:17,750 --> 00:04:20,210 I'm just gonna put a little Betadine around the area, 114 00:04:20,210 --> 00:04:21,540 and you're just gonna feel a little stick and a burn. 115 00:04:21,540 --> 00:04:23,170 Are you hurting anywhere else? 116 00:04:23,170 --> 00:04:24,960 DeLuca: Hey. Dr. Bailey's been looking for you -- 117 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,920 something about a grant deadline? Oh, okay. 118 00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:28,790 Um, I'm gonna be right -- 119 00:04:28,790 --> 00:04:33,500 [ Breathing quickly ] 120 00:04:33,500 --> 00:04:35,380 [ Heartbeat pulsing ] 121 00:04:38,250 --> 00:04:41,540 [ Normal voice ] My patient here, Abby, she... 122 00:04:41,540 --> 00:04:44,540 hit her face on a cabinet. 123 00:04:44,540 --> 00:04:45,920 So if you could give us some room, please, 124 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:47,290 so I can suture her facial lac? 125 00:04:47,290 --> 00:04:49,750 And tell Dr. Bailey that I will be a while. 126 00:04:49,750 --> 00:04:51,500 Thank you. 127 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,170 Hey, why don't you sit up, okay? 128 00:04:58,170 --> 00:04:59,710 We'll sit you up. Okay. 129 00:04:59,710 --> 00:05:01,500 [ Whimpers ] 130 00:05:01,500 --> 00:05:02,750 Is your belly hurting? 131 00:05:02,750 --> 00:05:05,710 No, it's just the cheek. 132 00:05:05,710 --> 00:05:08,960 You can fix it now, right? So I can go. 133 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:12,670 Dr. Qadri, um, can you go get me some 4-0 MONOCRYL, 134 00:05:12,670 --> 00:05:14,750 and can we please close those? 135 00:05:14,750 --> 00:05:15,790 Thank you. 136 00:05:15,790 --> 00:05:16,830 [ Breathing deeply ] 137 00:05:23,170 --> 00:05:26,880 [ Quietly ] Abby, it's just you and me. 138 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:28,710 You're hurt. 139 00:05:28,710 --> 00:05:30,120 I am here to help. 140 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:36,960 [ Shuddering breathing ] 141 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:38,880 Okay. [ Whispering ] Okay. 142 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,170 [ Exhales sharply ] 143 00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:44,210 [ Sniffles ] 144 00:05:54,460 --> 00:05:56,170 Okay. 145 00:05:58,170 --> 00:06:00,920 [ Inhales sharply, whimpers ] 146 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:04,670 [ Breathing shakily ] 147 00:06:04,670 --> 00:06:06,420 I got you, Abby. 148 00:06:06,420 --> 00:06:08,120 I'm not going anywhere. 149 00:06:10,790 --> 00:06:12,830 [ Breathing shakily ] 150 00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:15,460 [ Door creaking ] 151 00:06:15,460 --> 00:06:17,620 [ Breathing deeply ] 152 00:06:17,620 --> 00:06:19,040 [ Quietly ] Look, I don't know what you're after, 153 00:06:19,040 --> 00:06:20,080 but you can't be here. 154 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,460 I'm not after anything. 155 00:06:21,460 --> 00:06:23,750 I just want to talk. 156 00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:25,540 You cannot be here. 157 00:06:25,540 --> 00:06:27,750 [ Dog barks ] Daniel: Chip! [ Claps hands ] 158 00:06:27,750 --> 00:06:29,750 Hey, Chip. Come here. 159 00:06:29,750 --> 00:06:31,210 Hey, buddy. [ Chuckles ] 160 00:06:31,210 --> 00:06:33,790 I'll, uh, put him out back and drop the kids at school. 161 00:06:33,790 --> 00:06:35,500 [ Chip groans ] Is everything okay? 162 00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:37,120 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was just saying 163 00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:39,710 that we're already familiar with the Book of Mormon, so... 164 00:06:39,710 --> 00:06:42,290 Ah, saw the original cast. Loved it. 165 00:06:42,290 --> 00:06:45,210 Not a big fan of the book, though, so...we're all set. 166 00:06:45,210 --> 00:06:46,750 [ Chip barks ] 167 00:06:46,750 --> 00:06:48,790 [ Birds chirping ] 168 00:06:53,290 --> 00:06:54,750 [ Clears throat ] 169 00:06:54,750 --> 00:06:56,250 [ Door closes ] 170 00:06:56,250 --> 00:06:59,380 There's a diner... a few miles up. 171 00:06:59,380 --> 00:07:00,830 Weird green roof? 172 00:07:00,830 --> 00:07:03,290 Ira's? 173 00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:05,330 One conversation. 174 00:07:05,330 --> 00:07:07,290 And you will never hear from me again. 175 00:07:07,290 --> 00:07:11,830 ♪♪ 176 00:07:11,830 --> 00:07:13,290 [ Door creaking ] 177 00:07:13,290 --> 00:07:14,540 [ Door slams shut ] 178 00:07:14,540 --> 00:07:16,290 ♪♪ 179 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,290 [ Horn honking ] 180 00:07:23,290 --> 00:07:25,080 [ Birds chirping ] 181 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:27,080 [ Liquid pouring ] 182 00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,750 [ Indistinct conversations ] 183 00:07:28,750 --> 00:07:30,380 [ Clock ticking ] 184 00:07:30,380 --> 00:07:31,880 [ Bell jingles ] 185 00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:33,040 [ Echoing ] Just one. 186 00:07:33,040 --> 00:07:33,920 [ Echoing ] Oh, right this way. 187 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:37,120 [ Ticking clock echoes ] 188 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:39,000 [ Bell jingles ] 189 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,170 [ Ticking quickens ] 190 00:07:41,170 --> 00:07:42,250 [ Silverware clatters lightly ] 191 00:07:42,250 --> 00:07:44,620 [ Ticking quickens ] 192 00:07:44,620 --> 00:07:45,750 [ Bell jingles ] 193 00:07:45,750 --> 00:07:48,750 [ Ticking stops ] 194 00:07:48,750 --> 00:07:51,080 [ Indistinct conversations ] 195 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,040 Man: Can I get you a warm-up? 196 00:08:00,790 --> 00:08:03,380 [ Conversations continue ] 197 00:08:03,380 --> 00:08:04,790 [ Sighs ] 198 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:14,710 The coffee here sucks. 199 00:08:14,710 --> 00:08:16,120 I've noticed. 200 00:08:17,460 --> 00:08:19,170 I'm late for work. Um... 201 00:08:23,040 --> 00:08:24,670 I work in the mayor's office. 202 00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:27,250 Try to create jobs for under-served communities. 203 00:08:27,250 --> 00:08:30,250 [ Dinnerware clattering lightly ] 204 00:08:30,250 --> 00:08:32,040 I'm sorry. You knocked on my door. 205 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:33,210 I don't -- You have a house -- 206 00:08:33,210 --> 00:08:35,420 a really beautiful house. 207 00:08:35,420 --> 00:08:36,420 Thank you...? 208 00:08:36,420 --> 00:08:39,620 And kids and a husband and a dog 209 00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:41,710 and crown frickin' moldings. 210 00:08:41,710 --> 00:08:42,960 Do you need money? If this is about money -- 211 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:44,040 I don't need your damn money. 212 00:08:48,540 --> 00:08:51,170 Thank you. 213 00:08:51,170 --> 00:08:52,750 Look, I'm not quite sure what you expected -- 214 00:08:52,750 --> 00:08:57,040 In my head, you worked at a diner half as nice as this. 215 00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:58,500 And you didn't graduate high school, 216 00:08:58,500 --> 00:09:00,290 or maybe you did but a year or two late 217 00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:02,540 'cause they don't let pregnant girls finish high school. 218 00:09:02,540 --> 00:09:05,380 And you scraped by somehow on... 219 00:09:05,380 --> 00:09:07,210 hard work and the kindness of strangers, 220 00:09:07,210 --> 00:09:08,670 but you had no one. 221 00:09:08,670 --> 00:09:10,290 You had nothing. 222 00:09:10,290 --> 00:09:11,880 That would make it okay that I left you? 223 00:09:14,830 --> 00:09:17,920 I wanted you to have a better life than I could give you -- 224 00:09:17,920 --> 00:09:20,420 Now, that part I heard in my head. 225 00:09:20,420 --> 00:09:22,790 I think it came from a made-for-TV movie. 226 00:09:22,790 --> 00:09:24,170 No, I-I-I realized it 227 00:09:24,170 --> 00:09:26,580 the minute it came out of my mouth, yes, um... 228 00:09:28,670 --> 00:09:30,170 But it's true. 229 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:33,750 I really thought that you'd be better off -- 230 00:09:33,750 --> 00:09:34,830 What are their names? 231 00:09:34,830 --> 00:09:37,000 I'm sorry? Your kids. 232 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,960 My brother and sister eating cereal in your perfect kitchen. 233 00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:41,460 What are their names? 234 00:09:41,460 --> 00:09:44,290 Alexandra is a senior in high school, 235 00:09:44,290 --> 00:09:47,120 and, uh, Josh is in 10th. 236 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:52,500 And your husband, the, what, the...accountant? 237 00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:54,500 Lawyer. 238 00:09:54,500 --> 00:09:56,500 Is he my father? 239 00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:57,960 No. 240 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:00,380 No, he is nothing like -- no. 241 00:10:00,380 --> 00:10:02,120 No, I met my husband in grad school. 242 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:03,830 Um... 243 00:10:03,830 --> 00:10:04,750 His name is Daniel. 244 00:10:04,750 --> 00:10:07,000 Daniel. 245 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,420 That's nice. 246 00:10:09,420 --> 00:10:11,170 That's really nice. 247 00:10:11,170 --> 00:10:13,420 You know, I-I -- I appreciate a girl 248 00:10:13,420 --> 00:10:14,420 with fire in her belly, but -- 249 00:10:14,420 --> 00:10:17,500 I didn't have a better life. 250 00:10:17,500 --> 00:10:20,880 I wasn't better off. 251 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:22,750 No one found me adoring parents 252 00:10:22,750 --> 00:10:25,540 who were dying for a newborn of their own to love. 253 00:10:25,540 --> 00:10:27,830 I lived in foster homes so bad, 254 00:10:27,830 --> 00:10:30,460 it was better to live in my car. 255 00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:32,830 And when a man finally told me that he loved me, 256 00:10:32,830 --> 00:10:35,710 I believed him, 257 00:10:35,710 --> 00:10:40,500 even when he beat the crap out of me so bad I couldn't see. 258 00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:43,080 So whatever life you had, 259 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:45,920 tell me it wasn't better than mine. 260 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:48,750 [ Indistinct conversations ] 261 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:53,540 I should go. 262 00:10:53,540 --> 00:10:55,500 At least you're consistent. [ Clears throat ] 263 00:10:56,250 --> 00:10:58,080 [ Breathing deeply ] 264 00:11:02,210 --> 00:11:03,830 Did you honestly come here to punish me? 265 00:11:03,830 --> 00:11:05,380 Consider it done. 266 00:11:05,380 --> 00:11:07,040 I came because I don't know anything about where I'm from, 267 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:08,790 and I want to know. 268 00:11:11,380 --> 00:11:14,040 [ Dinnerware clinking ] 269 00:11:19,540 --> 00:11:21,880 Um... 270 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:25,080 My, um... 271 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:26,580 father's side is pure Irish. 272 00:11:26,580 --> 00:11:29,620 My -- My -- My mother is Russian Jew and Italian. 273 00:11:29,620 --> 00:11:31,460 I got all that from spitting in a tube. 274 00:11:31,460 --> 00:11:33,540 My mother's parents... 275 00:11:33,540 --> 00:11:34,960 died when she was young -- 276 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:36,250 heart disease and cancer. 277 00:11:36,250 --> 00:11:38,620 So I'm afraid that's in the mix. 278 00:11:38,620 --> 00:11:41,960 Uh, there's no history of mental illness that I'm aware -- 279 00:11:41,960 --> 00:11:44,330 -That's not what I'm asking. -Then what do you want to know? 280 00:11:44,330 --> 00:11:46,170 Something I can't get from spitting in a tube! 281 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:49,710 Ah. 282 00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:53,210 I, um -- I grew up on a farm in Kansas. 283 00:11:53,210 --> 00:11:55,420 My childhood is a blur of chickens 284 00:11:55,420 --> 00:11:57,420 and singing songs out in the field 285 00:11:57,420 --> 00:11:58,830 when I should've been helping my mother. 286 00:11:58,830 --> 00:12:01,460 I was spelling bee champion for four years in a row. 287 00:12:01,460 --> 00:12:03,620 I love the smell of rosemary. I'm terrible at math. 288 00:12:03,620 --> 00:12:05,250 Does that help? Does that help you at all? 289 00:12:05,250 --> 00:12:07,710 Do you know who you are now? Forget it. 290 00:12:07,710 --> 00:12:10,210 Just tell me who my father is, and I will try and find him. 291 00:12:10,210 --> 00:12:12,210 You can't. 292 00:12:12,210 --> 00:12:13,170 He's dead. 293 00:12:13,170 --> 00:12:14,960 Geez, lady. 294 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:16,920 [ Exhales sharply ] 295 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:19,750 You don't want to, I don't know, soften it a little? 296 00:12:19,750 --> 00:12:22,330 Well, I'm sorry, but that son of a bitch who hurt me 297 00:12:22,330 --> 00:12:25,580 more than any other human being ever has... 298 00:12:25,580 --> 00:12:28,420 died in a motorcycle accident 10 years ago. 299 00:12:28,420 --> 00:12:29,670 Not the way that I would've hoped. 300 00:12:29,670 --> 00:12:31,920 I would've preferred that he had been eaten by fire ants 301 00:12:31,920 --> 00:12:33,330 or pulled apart limb from limb, but -- 302 00:12:33,330 --> 00:12:35,380 Wow. 303 00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:38,710 You're just a monster, huh? 304 00:12:38,710 --> 00:12:40,540 [ Clears throat ] 305 00:12:40,540 --> 00:12:42,380 -Please sit down. -Abandoning me wasn't enough, 306 00:12:42,380 --> 00:12:44,170 you just have to spread the pain around a little bit? 307 00:12:44,170 --> 00:12:46,460 Sit down. That's my father that you're talking about. 308 00:12:46,460 --> 00:12:48,880 No, it's not. He hurt me -- I'm so sorry 309 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:51,170 that your childhood sweetheart didn't pan out. 310 00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:53,000 -So sorry. -He hurt me. 311 00:12:58,500 --> 00:13:01,170 [ Quietly ] Please sit down, okay? 312 00:13:03,170 --> 00:13:04,500 Please sit down. 313 00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,380 [ Conversations continue in distance ] 314 00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:15,710 [ Exhales deeply ] 315 00:13:15,710 --> 00:13:17,120 He was a TA... 316 00:13:20,620 --> 00:13:24,080 ...when I was a freshman in undergrad. 317 00:13:24,080 --> 00:13:26,960 He chased after me for weeks for a date. 318 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:30,120 He, um, sent me flowers and proclamations 319 00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:31,750 until, finally, I said yes. 320 00:13:31,750 --> 00:13:33,120 [ Exhales sharply ] 321 00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:36,580 I said -- I said yes to that date. 322 00:13:36,580 --> 00:13:39,920 I said...yes to going... 323 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,580 to Braden's Point to watch the sunset. 324 00:13:42,580 --> 00:13:44,000 And... 325 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,710 [ Inhales deeply ] 326 00:13:48,380 --> 00:13:51,830 Then he started kissing me and touching me. 327 00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:53,120 And I said no. 328 00:13:53,120 --> 00:13:54,880 And I continued to say no. 329 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:56,250 And I fought him. 330 00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:57,540 I fought as hard as I could, 331 00:13:57,540 --> 00:13:59,500 but he would not take no for an answer. 332 00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:01,460 So... 333 00:14:01,460 --> 00:14:03,960 nine months later, I had a baby. 334 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:07,330 I had you, and then... 335 00:14:07,330 --> 00:14:09,500 five days later, I didn't. 336 00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:11,170 [ Sniffles ] 337 00:14:11,170 --> 00:14:14,120 ♪♪ 338 00:14:20,380 --> 00:14:23,790 ♪♪ 339 00:14:23,790 --> 00:14:25,420 [ Rustling clothes echo ] 340 00:14:25,420 --> 00:14:30,750 ♪♪ 341 00:14:30,750 --> 00:14:31,750 [ Echoing ] Jo: Qadri, let's get her 342 00:14:31,750 --> 00:14:33,380 IM Toradol for the pain 343 00:14:33,380 --> 00:14:35,210 and keep her NPO for now. 344 00:14:35,210 --> 00:14:37,040 Dahlia: Is there someone that we can call? 345 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:40,080 Family member or a friend? 346 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,170 [ Normal voice ] My husband's in Portland 347 00:14:41,170 --> 00:14:42,960 on a business trip. 348 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:46,040 I don't want to... bother him. 349 00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:47,170 [ Knock on door ] [ Gasps ] 350 00:14:47,170 --> 00:14:48,750 It's okay. I called her here to help. 351 00:14:48,750 --> 00:14:50,250 -Hi. -Hi. 352 00:14:50,250 --> 00:14:51,420 Why do I need another doctor? 353 00:14:51,420 --> 00:14:52,710 Can't I just keep you two? [ Door closes ] 354 00:14:52,710 --> 00:14:54,540 Teddy: It's Abby, right? Hi. 355 00:14:54,540 --> 00:14:57,120 Dr. Karev and Dr. Qadri will still be your doctors, 356 00:14:57,120 --> 00:14:59,710 but would it be okay if I helped? 357 00:14:59,710 --> 00:15:02,420 May I do an ultrasound just to check for internal injuries? 358 00:15:02,420 --> 00:15:04,040 -Okay. Great. -All right, here we go. 359 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:05,710 Let's lie you back. 360 00:15:05,710 --> 00:15:07,080 I got you. 361 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:08,290 [ Whimpers ] That's it, I got you. 362 00:15:08,290 --> 00:15:09,830 Okay, you're almost there. [ Inhales sharply ] 363 00:15:09,830 --> 00:15:10,580 -Okay. -All right. 364 00:15:10,580 --> 00:15:11,790 Okay. 365 00:15:11,790 --> 00:15:13,580 Just gonna open your robe. 366 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,920 Abby: [ Breathing shakily ] 367 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,750 Now a little gel. 368 00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:23,500 [ Gel squelching ] 369 00:15:25,580 --> 00:15:28,080 All right, you'll feel just a little pressure. 370 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:30,080 There we go. Good job. [ Heartbeat pulses ] 371 00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:37,330 All right, Abby, you do have a tear in your diaphragm, 372 00:15:37,330 --> 00:15:39,880 and it's caused your abdominal organs 373 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:41,580 to move up into your chest. 374 00:15:41,580 --> 00:15:43,620 [ Keyboard clicks ] You're gonna need a surgery. 375 00:15:43,620 --> 00:15:44,750 Fine. 376 00:15:44,750 --> 00:15:47,170 Whatever you need to do so I can go home. 377 00:15:47,170 --> 00:15:49,670 All right, Dr. Karev, can I talk to you outside for a minute? 378 00:15:49,670 --> 00:15:52,580 -No, no, can you stay? -I'll just be right outside. 379 00:15:52,580 --> 00:15:54,830 I won't be more than a couple minutes -- Y-You can't -- You can't leave, please? 380 00:15:54,830 --> 00:15:57,210 Just do the surgery, and then I can go home, 381 00:15:57,210 --> 00:15:59,380 and then it'll be over. All right. 382 00:15:59,380 --> 00:16:01,080 We'll let them know to prep the OR. 383 00:16:02,710 --> 00:16:03,750 [ Clears throat softly ] 384 00:16:03,750 --> 00:16:05,080 Qadri, come with me. Thanks. 385 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:06,920 Woman on P.A.: Dr. Yates to Pediatrics. 386 00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,670 Dr. Yates to Pediatrics. 387 00:16:09,670 --> 00:16:12,880 Book an OR, but do not let the nurses or anyone else 388 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:15,210 do an antibiotic prep. 389 00:16:15,210 --> 00:16:16,380 So we're not operating on her? 390 00:16:16,380 --> 00:16:17,880 Abby's wounds are consistent 391 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,000 with someone who's been sexually assaulted, 392 00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,500 and if that's true, 393 00:16:20,500 --> 00:16:23,460 when the nurses prep her with an antibiotic solution, 394 00:16:23,460 --> 00:16:25,670 evidence will be erased. 395 00:16:25,670 --> 00:16:26,830 So we wait. 396 00:16:26,830 --> 00:16:28,830 We wait and give Abby the chance to talk 397 00:16:28,830 --> 00:16:31,380 without taking more of the agency than she's already lost. 398 00:16:31,380 --> 00:16:33,120 Go book the OR and come straight back. 399 00:16:36,170 --> 00:16:38,380 [ Sighs shakily, inhales deeply ] 400 00:16:39,460 --> 00:16:41,170 Okay. 401 00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:43,580 [ Door closes ] 402 00:16:43,580 --> 00:16:46,290 Hey. Are you sure there isn't someone we can call? 403 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:50,790 Can we ask you how you got hurt? 404 00:16:52,170 --> 00:16:54,120 Does it matter? 405 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:55,420 You said you can fix it, right? 406 00:16:55,420 --> 00:16:56,620 Abby, I want you to know 407 00:16:56,620 --> 00:16:58,750 that you don't have to tell us anything. 408 00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:01,000 We can bring a counselor down for you to talk to. 409 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:03,750 No. No more doctors. 410 00:17:03,750 --> 00:17:06,120 I have enough doctors, and I don't need a shrink. 411 00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:09,710 I just...need my stomach to stop hurting is all. 412 00:17:09,710 --> 00:17:11,000 Okay. 413 00:17:12,250 --> 00:17:14,540 How did you get that? 414 00:17:14,540 --> 00:17:17,080 My neighbor's kids like to play street hockey, 415 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:18,460 and I'm crap at it. 416 00:17:18,460 --> 00:17:21,000 -I don't think that's true. -Dr. Karev. 417 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,120 [ Sighs ] 418 00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:25,540 You keep looking at each other, but I'm right here, 419 00:17:25,540 --> 00:17:28,500 so one of you say whatever the hell it is 420 00:17:28,500 --> 00:17:30,040 you're trying so hard not to say. 421 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:31,330 Abby -- I'm worried your husband hurt you, 422 00:17:31,330 --> 00:17:32,540 and from the marks on your legs, 423 00:17:32,540 --> 00:17:34,080 possibly sexually assaulted you. 424 00:17:34,080 --> 00:17:35,830 Dr. Karev, hallway. Now. 425 00:17:35,830 --> 00:17:38,790 Jack would never. He's never raised his voice. 426 00:17:38,790 --> 00:17:40,290 -He's calm. -Then someone else did -- 427 00:17:40,290 --> 00:17:42,710 [ Straining ] Isn't the OR ready by now? 428 00:17:42,710 --> 00:17:43,920 'Cause this hurts like a -- 429 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:45,120 Abby, if we take you to the OR, 430 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:46,580 we have to make you sterile, 431 00:17:46,580 --> 00:17:48,460 so everything that happened to you, all the evidence, 432 00:17:48,460 --> 00:17:49,790 it all goes away. 433 00:17:49,790 --> 00:17:51,750 You can still report it. 434 00:17:51,750 --> 00:17:54,790 I'm not reporting anything. There's nothing to report. 435 00:17:54,790 --> 00:17:57,500 That is your choice. It is all your choice. 436 00:17:57,500 --> 00:17:59,750 But if something happened -- if it did -- 437 00:17:59,750 --> 00:18:02,210 we could gather the evidence and seal it away 438 00:18:02,210 --> 00:18:04,080 until you are ready to do something about it. 439 00:18:07,580 --> 00:18:10,580 [ Voice breaking ] We all know if I do that kit... 440 00:18:10,580 --> 00:18:13,080 it ends up in the back of some police station, 441 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:15,670 ignored for years, 442 00:18:15,670 --> 00:18:18,670 while I sit there wondering when the bomb will go off, 443 00:18:18,670 --> 00:18:21,750 waiting to see if a jury of my peers will believe... 444 00:18:21,750 --> 00:18:24,040 [ Breathing quickly ] 445 00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:25,710 ...believe a woman 446 00:18:25,710 --> 00:18:29,330 who wore a skirt a few inches too short, 447 00:18:29,330 --> 00:18:31,880 who had a few cocktails too many at a bar last night 448 00:18:31,880 --> 00:18:34,080 after having a fight 449 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:38,080 about laundry with her husband. 450 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:39,540 [ Crying ] 451 00:18:39,540 --> 00:18:42,920 And you know the tequila I drank will make it my fault, 452 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:45,460 and whoever did this to me, whatever he drank -- 453 00:18:45,460 --> 00:18:47,380 that'll be his excuse! 454 00:18:47,380 --> 00:18:49,790 [ Crying, wheezing ] 455 00:18:53,330 --> 00:18:57,500 Is your kit gonna convince them I wasn't flirting at the bar? 456 00:18:57,500 --> 00:19:01,420 If I give them my story and my underwear, 457 00:19:01,420 --> 00:19:04,710 will it prove to them -- or to my husband -- 458 00:19:04,710 --> 00:19:07,620 that I didn't cheat on him and make up some story 459 00:19:07,620 --> 00:19:09,580 just to save my own ass? 460 00:19:09,580 --> 00:19:11,330 [ Quietly ] Okay... [ Respirator hissing ] 461 00:19:11,330 --> 00:19:13,250 Will your kit do that?! 462 00:19:13,250 --> 00:19:14,830 [ Hyperventilating ] 463 00:19:14,830 --> 00:19:17,540 O-- All -- All right, deep breath. 464 00:19:17,540 --> 00:19:19,580 That's it. 465 00:19:19,580 --> 00:19:22,330 Slow deep breath. 466 00:19:22,330 --> 00:19:25,420 [ Breathing deeply ] 467 00:19:25,420 --> 00:19:28,210 My ex-husband, he hurt me. 468 00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:30,460 Not in the way that you were hurt, but he hit me -- 469 00:19:30,460 --> 00:19:32,290 he hurt me, for years. 470 00:19:32,290 --> 00:19:36,210 And I was so, so terrified. 471 00:19:36,210 --> 00:19:38,120 And so convinced that no one would believe me, 472 00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:41,040 and I was so, so alone -- 473 00:19:41,040 --> 00:19:43,710 I never had the chance or the choice 474 00:19:43,710 --> 00:19:45,380 to hold him responsible. 475 00:19:45,380 --> 00:19:46,670 [ Whispering ] I can't imagine 476 00:19:46,670 --> 00:19:47,920 how you are feeling right now. 477 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:50,120 I can't. 478 00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:53,880 But, one day, you might feel differently. 479 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:55,500 You might want justice, 480 00:19:55,500 --> 00:19:59,500 and I want you to have everything you need to do that. 481 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:05,120 [ Respirator hissing ] 482 00:20:05,120 --> 00:20:08,380 [ Sniffles, crying ] 483 00:20:08,380 --> 00:20:11,830 My husband -- he can never know. 484 00:20:11,830 --> 00:20:13,380 He won't have to. 485 00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:19,670 [ Crying ] 486 00:20:19,670 --> 00:20:21,540 Do it. 487 00:20:21,540 --> 00:20:23,710 Just do the damn kit. 488 00:20:23,710 --> 00:20:25,040 Okay. Okay. 489 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:26,250 [ Sniffles, sighs ] 490 00:20:26,250 --> 00:20:27,670 That's it. There you go. 491 00:20:27,670 --> 00:20:28,710 There you go. 492 00:20:28,710 --> 00:20:31,750 ♪ Pull me ♪ 493 00:20:31,750 --> 00:20:34,670 [ Crying ] 494 00:20:34,670 --> 00:20:37,670 ♪ Under ♪ 495 00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:38,830 Are you ready? 496 00:20:38,830 --> 00:20:40,580 ♪♪ 497 00:20:40,580 --> 00:20:42,120 You have to say it. 498 00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:43,540 It's the law. ♪ Feels like ♪ 499 00:20:43,540 --> 00:20:45,500 You say yes, we go to the next step. 500 00:20:45,500 --> 00:20:47,920 You say no at any time, we stop. 501 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:49,880 ♪ Thunder ♪ 502 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:51,580 Okay. Okay. 503 00:20:51,580 --> 00:20:54,120 [ Breathes deeply ] 504 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:54,880 Yes. 505 00:20:54,880 --> 00:20:57,620 ♪ Here, there ♪ 506 00:20:57,620 --> 00:20:58,880 ♪♪ 507 00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,460 ♪ Everywhere ♪ 508 00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:03,380 ♪ Ghosts hide ♪ Are you ready? 509 00:21:03,380 --> 00:21:05,710 Yes. 510 00:21:05,710 --> 00:21:07,170 ♪ In my head ♪ 511 00:21:07,170 --> 00:21:08,250 [ Camera shutter clicking ] 512 00:21:08,250 --> 00:21:12,210 ♪ We fall ♪ 513 00:21:12,210 --> 00:21:13,830 ♪ Up above ♪ 514 00:21:13,830 --> 00:21:17,040 ♪ So long ♪ 515 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:20,330 ♪ As I ♪ 516 00:21:20,330 --> 00:21:23,500 ♪ Don't sleep ♪ 517 00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:26,710 ♪♪ 518 00:21:26,710 --> 00:21:28,620 ♪ Somebody ♪ 519 00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:30,710 Are you ready? 520 00:21:30,710 --> 00:21:31,960 Yes. 521 00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:33,960 ♪♪ 522 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:37,540 ♪ Save me ♪ 523 00:21:37,540 --> 00:21:40,880 ♪♪ 524 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:44,830 ♪ It doesn't matter ♪ [ Clippers snip ] 525 00:21:44,830 --> 00:21:46,790 Are you ready? 526 00:21:46,790 --> 00:21:51,120 ♪ What the craving is ♪ Yes. 527 00:21:51,120 --> 00:21:54,000 [ Whimpers ] 528 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:58,080 ♪ Here, there ♪ 529 00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:00,670 ♪ Everywhere ♪ 530 00:22:00,670 --> 00:22:02,620 ♪ Ghosts hide ♪ 531 00:22:02,620 --> 00:22:05,120 Are you ready? 532 00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:07,420 Yes. ♪ In my head ♪ 533 00:22:07,420 --> 00:22:10,000 Yes. ♪ We fall ♪ 534 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:11,330 Yes. 535 00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,830 ♪ Up above ♪ 536 00:22:12,830 --> 00:22:17,830 ♪ Don't leave me ♪ 537 00:22:17,830 --> 00:22:23,460 ♪ Alone ♪ Abby, we're done. 538 00:22:23,460 --> 00:22:25,670 ♪ Somebody ♪ 539 00:22:25,670 --> 00:22:27,170 I'm here, okay. 540 00:22:27,170 --> 00:22:28,710 -[ Crying ] -I'm right here. 541 00:22:28,710 --> 00:22:29,920 You're okay. 542 00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:31,500 Abby, you're okay. 543 00:22:31,500 --> 00:22:33,710 ♪ Save me ♪ [ Crying ] 544 00:22:39,750 --> 00:22:41,790 [ Indistinct conversations ] 545 00:22:41,790 --> 00:22:43,960 You never told anyone. 546 00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:47,460 The police, your parents... 547 00:22:47,460 --> 00:22:50,880 I convinced the few people who noticed 548 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:52,710 that it was just the freshman 15, 549 00:22:52,710 --> 00:22:56,920 and I was able to dodge Christmas break 550 00:22:56,920 --> 00:23:01,540 by lying about... finals and work studies. 551 00:23:01,540 --> 00:23:03,210 You didn't tell anyone you were pregnant? 552 00:23:03,210 --> 00:23:05,880 No, no. 553 00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:07,460 I mean, it -- 554 00:23:07,460 --> 00:23:10,830 it wasn't until years after it happened that -- 555 00:23:10,830 --> 00:23:11,960 After I happened. 556 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:13,710 After the rape happened. 557 00:23:15,580 --> 00:23:17,080 After I was raped. 558 00:23:19,120 --> 00:23:21,080 I eventually found my way to therapy, 559 00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:22,460 and I did all the work, 560 00:23:22,460 --> 00:23:24,920 and I wrote in journals, 561 00:23:24,920 --> 00:23:27,040 and I learned all the PTSD triggers. 562 00:23:27,040 --> 00:23:28,620 I-I actually had to work through 563 00:23:28,620 --> 00:23:30,250 calling it "rape" to begin with. 564 00:23:30,250 --> 00:23:32,500 Because I did say yes to that date, 565 00:23:32,500 --> 00:23:36,330 and I did say yes to getting in that car, and... 566 00:23:36,330 --> 00:23:38,710 Someone somewhere along the way -- 567 00:23:38,710 --> 00:23:40,040 a man, most likely -- 568 00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:42,290 decided they wanted to qualify this word, "rape." 569 00:23:42,290 --> 00:23:44,880 You know, date rape, [sniffles] a-acquaintance rape. 570 00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,920 Somehow, it -- it -- it -- it's -- it's not as real 571 00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:49,460 unless it happens to a woman 572 00:23:49,460 --> 00:23:53,080 who's running through the park at night or -- 573 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:57,000 or walking down a dark alley. 574 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,710 As somehow, because I knew him, 575 00:23:59,710 --> 00:24:01,670 what he took from me didn't matter. 576 00:24:01,670 --> 00:24:03,080 But it did matter. 577 00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:06,210 I found a way to hear that. 578 00:24:06,210 --> 00:24:09,080 I found a way to believe that. 579 00:24:09,080 --> 00:24:12,210 And I -- 580 00:24:12,210 --> 00:24:14,420 I found a way to move forward. 581 00:24:14,420 --> 00:24:16,000 You got therapy. 582 00:24:17,460 --> 00:24:18,620 Yeah. 583 00:24:18,620 --> 00:24:20,290 You moved forward. 584 00:24:22,620 --> 00:24:24,040 Mm-hmm. 585 00:24:25,420 --> 00:24:27,920 And you didn't once try and find me? 586 00:24:31,710 --> 00:24:34,040 I was petrified. 587 00:24:36,750 --> 00:24:41,210 I was petrified every single moment of my pregnancy. 588 00:24:41,210 --> 00:24:43,880 I mean, it was bad enough that I had to see his face 589 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:45,750 every day in class. 590 00:24:45,750 --> 00:24:48,710 I was so terrified... 591 00:24:48,710 --> 00:24:54,380 imagining that you'd be a boy 592 00:24:54,380 --> 00:24:58,250 and that you'd have his face and his voice. 593 00:24:58,250 --> 00:25:02,330 And every day, every kick, every movement, 594 00:25:02,330 --> 00:25:06,120 it just reminded me where you came from. 595 00:25:07,670 --> 00:25:11,380 But, you know, movies and books and -- and magazines, 596 00:25:11,380 --> 00:25:15,670 they just kept talking about this... 597 00:25:15,670 --> 00:25:20,330 love that you feel the minute your baby is born. 598 00:25:20,330 --> 00:25:22,210 How instantaneous it is 599 00:25:22,210 --> 00:25:25,460 and how, um, your heart just cracks wide open, and... 600 00:25:25,460 --> 00:25:26,880 [ Sniffles ] 601 00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:30,250 And I remember, I kept telling myself 602 00:25:30,250 --> 00:25:31,790 that as soon as I had you in my arms 603 00:25:31,790 --> 00:25:34,460 that I could do that 604 00:25:34,460 --> 00:25:36,330 and that I would do that. 605 00:25:36,330 --> 00:25:41,210 Other women did it, so why couldn't I? 606 00:25:41,210 --> 00:25:44,420 So I gave the hospital a fake name. 607 00:25:44,420 --> 00:25:48,750 I left with you... the day you were born. 608 00:25:48,750 --> 00:25:50,290 I remember they wanted me to stay, 609 00:25:50,290 --> 00:25:52,170 and they wanted me to rest, but I just wanted to get out. 610 00:25:52,170 --> 00:25:54,580 I just wanted to get out of there, and I just wanted -- 611 00:25:58,710 --> 00:26:00,170 [ Voice breaking ] I just wanted to be alone with you, 612 00:26:00,170 --> 00:26:02,790 and I just wanted it to be the two of us, and... 613 00:26:02,790 --> 00:26:05,500 [ Breathes deeply ] 614 00:26:05,500 --> 00:26:07,830 ...and I wanted to stare at you and hold you... 615 00:26:11,460 --> 00:26:13,170 ...'til that love came. 616 00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:17,710 But it never did. 617 00:26:17,710 --> 00:26:19,830 No, it did. 618 00:26:21,540 --> 00:26:22,670 It did. 619 00:26:22,670 --> 00:26:26,290 Everything they said was absolutely right. 620 00:26:26,290 --> 00:26:29,080 My heart cracked wide open. 621 00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:31,210 [ Crying ] 622 00:26:33,290 --> 00:26:34,920 It was never just us, 623 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:38,750 no matter how hard I tried, no matter what I did. 624 00:26:38,750 --> 00:26:41,920 I was just a reminder of him. 625 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:44,250 I resented you so much for it. 626 00:26:47,500 --> 00:26:50,960 I spent most of my life... 627 00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:55,380 doubting everyone I ever met, 628 00:26:55,380 --> 00:26:59,210 leaving them before they could leave me. 629 00:26:59,210 --> 00:27:02,710 I am a grown woman [sighs] 630 00:27:02,710 --> 00:27:06,420 with a job that I love and friends I love 631 00:27:06,420 --> 00:27:08,210 and a husband who loves me, 632 00:27:08,210 --> 00:27:11,170 and still -- 633 00:27:11,170 --> 00:27:13,500 still... 634 00:27:13,500 --> 00:27:19,330 I was walking around, uh, waiting, 635 00:27:19,330 --> 00:27:21,710 wondering if you would ever find me. 636 00:27:21,710 --> 00:27:23,330 [ Sniffles ] 637 00:27:23,330 --> 00:27:25,790 If you would ever say that you're sorry. 638 00:27:29,710 --> 00:27:31,120 I did the best I could. 639 00:27:31,120 --> 00:27:33,580 The best you could would've been to find an adoption agency 640 00:27:33,580 --> 00:27:36,000 and make sure I had a home and someone to love me, 641 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,670 not toss me away like garbage. 642 00:27:39,290 --> 00:27:42,000 It is so easy to look at me now 643 00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:43,500 and think of all the ways 644 00:27:43,500 --> 00:27:47,620 that I could've been kinder, better, or smarter, 645 00:27:47,620 --> 00:27:49,380 but... 646 00:27:51,330 --> 00:27:53,290 ...I was not the person I am today. 647 00:27:53,290 --> 00:27:55,080 I was not in my right mind. 648 00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:57,500 I wasn't in my mind at all. 649 00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:05,880 That night that -- that he held me down, screaming. 650 00:28:06,710 --> 00:28:10,080 That night that he had his hands around my throat 651 00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:12,080 until I stopped screaming, 652 00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:14,290 when I was hovering over my own body 653 00:28:14,290 --> 00:28:16,670 while he was tearing away at me, 654 00:28:16,670 --> 00:28:19,420 that night that he smiled 655 00:28:19,420 --> 00:28:24,710 and he forced me to say that I liked it, 656 00:28:24,710 --> 00:28:27,040 when he laughed and... 657 00:28:28,790 --> 00:28:32,120 ...promised that we could do it any time that I wanted to... 658 00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:39,000 ...that was the night that I lost my right mind. 659 00:28:40,380 --> 00:28:43,420 He stole it from me, and for nine months -- 660 00:28:43,420 --> 00:28:46,250 for nine months, I pretended I was fine. 661 00:28:46,250 --> 00:28:48,710 I pretended that I wasn't a zombie, 662 00:28:48,710 --> 00:28:52,500 that I wasn't numb or dead inside. 663 00:28:52,500 --> 00:28:54,380 And then, the day that you were born, 664 00:28:54,380 --> 00:28:57,670 I held you, and I looked at your face, 665 00:28:57,670 --> 00:28:58,880 and I... 666 00:28:58,880 --> 00:29:01,710 [ Breathes deeply ] 667 00:29:01,710 --> 00:29:04,000 ...I could feel again for the first time, 668 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:06,040 but... 669 00:29:08,580 --> 00:29:10,040 [ Breathes sharply ] 670 00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:11,710 ...my mind... 671 00:29:13,540 --> 00:29:15,120 ...that took years to come back. 672 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,080 In fact, I'm -- Part of it never did. 673 00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:23,460 Of course you deserved better. 674 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:28,040 [ Breathes sharply ] 675 00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:30,250 I didn't have better to give you. 676 00:29:39,170 --> 00:29:41,080 I was seven weeks pregnant 677 00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:43,290 when my ex-husband cracked my ribs 678 00:29:43,290 --> 00:29:45,120 and threw me across the living room floor. 679 00:29:47,540 --> 00:29:49,380 He didn't know that I was pregnant, 680 00:29:49,380 --> 00:29:53,290 and I decided in that moment that he could never know. 681 00:29:55,500 --> 00:29:59,420 I couldn't -- I couldn't see a way out. 682 00:29:59,420 --> 00:30:00,880 Not then, at least. 683 00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:02,750 [ Breathing shakily ] 684 00:30:02,750 --> 00:30:04,000 I knew that, if I tried to leave, 685 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:05,710 he would kill me. 686 00:30:05,710 --> 00:30:09,170 But I also knew that I couldn't raise a kid 687 00:30:09,170 --> 00:30:12,620 in that...fear, and in that danger. 688 00:30:14,210 --> 00:30:16,790 You had an abortion. 689 00:30:16,790 --> 00:30:20,330 I've never told anyone that. 690 00:30:20,330 --> 00:30:22,040 I don't know why. I'm not ashamed of it. 691 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:25,210 I... [ Sighs ] 692 00:30:25,210 --> 00:30:27,670 I did what I had to do. 693 00:30:27,670 --> 00:30:29,420 [ Crying ] 694 00:30:29,420 --> 00:30:32,120 [ Vehicles passing in distance ] 695 00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:33,500 [ Dinnerware clattering lightly in distance ] 696 00:30:33,500 --> 00:30:35,330 [ Sniffles ] 697 00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:42,790 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 698 00:30:42,790 --> 00:30:44,420 [ Sniffles ] 699 00:30:47,380 --> 00:30:49,210 Do I look like him? 700 00:30:55,170 --> 00:30:59,170 You have my father's eyes... 701 00:30:59,170 --> 00:31:00,670 but the hair is all mine. 702 00:31:03,500 --> 00:31:05,790 And maybe the fire in the belly. 703 00:31:09,500 --> 00:31:11,710 [ Voice breaking ] I did the best I could, 704 00:31:11,710 --> 00:31:13,000 and I'm still... 705 00:31:16,580 --> 00:31:18,920 I'm sorry. I'm still just doing the best I can. 706 00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:27,000 [ Chair scrapes lightly ] 707 00:31:27,000 --> 00:31:29,080 [ Exhales sharply ] 708 00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:38,000 ♪♪ 709 00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:39,620 [ Footsteps depart ] 710 00:31:39,620 --> 00:31:43,960 ♪♪ 711 00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:45,120 [ Door closes ] 712 00:31:50,750 --> 00:31:52,790 She's becoming increasingly tachypneic. 713 00:31:52,790 --> 00:31:54,250 Let OR 1 know that we're on our way. 714 00:31:54,250 --> 00:31:56,000 Abby, it's time. 715 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:57,420 We have to go up now. 716 00:31:57,420 --> 00:31:58,670 No. I'm not -- I'm not ready. I'm -- 717 00:31:58,670 --> 00:32:00,580 [ Echoing ] Abby, I know you're scared. 718 00:32:00,580 --> 00:32:02,000 No, you're gonna -- you're gonna -- 719 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,880 you're gonna take me out and knock me out where I -- 720 00:32:04,880 --> 00:32:06,790 the last time I was out, h-he knocked me out. 721 00:32:06,790 --> 00:32:08,500 [ Echoing ] Abby. Abby, listen to me. 722 00:32:08,500 --> 00:32:10,790 If we don't do this surgery now, it could kill you. 723 00:32:10,790 --> 00:32:13,170 [ Crying ] I can't. 724 00:32:13,170 --> 00:32:16,120 I can't leave here, this room. 725 00:32:16,120 --> 00:32:18,540 Everyone has his face, every man. 726 00:32:18,540 --> 00:32:20,170 It's all I see. 727 00:32:20,170 --> 00:32:22,290 Even when I close my eyes... 728 00:32:22,290 --> 00:32:24,290 [ Echoing ] Please. I can't see his face. 729 00:32:24,290 --> 00:32:26,210 Please don't l-- make me see his face, please. 730 00:32:26,210 --> 00:32:28,000 [ Normal voice ] You don't have to, Abby. 731 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:29,000 [ Heartbeat pulsing ] You don't have to. 732 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:32,210 [ Whimpering ] 733 00:32:32,210 --> 00:32:33,500 Okay. 734 00:32:33,500 --> 00:32:37,420 Tuck says they're talking. What is that? Talking? 735 00:32:37,420 --> 00:32:39,210 I think they're dating. 736 00:32:39,210 --> 00:32:41,620 Mnh. Why do they do that? 737 00:32:41,620 --> 00:32:43,330 Why do they insist on coming up with new words 738 00:32:43,330 --> 00:32:45,380 when the old words were just fine? 739 00:32:45,380 --> 00:32:47,250 [ Chuckles ] 740 00:32:47,250 --> 00:32:49,580 It's not funny. 741 00:32:49,580 --> 00:32:51,750 Well, you -- you do sound a little, you know, 742 00:32:51,750 --> 00:32:52,880 "Get off my lawn!" 743 00:32:52,880 --> 00:32:54,000 No. 744 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,750 I want him to be happy. 745 00:32:56,750 --> 00:32:58,540 I want him to, you know, 746 00:32:58,540 --> 00:33:00,420 have the butterflies and first love and all that. 747 00:33:00,420 --> 00:33:02,580 Mm-hmm. Yeah, just not so soon. 748 00:33:02,580 --> 00:33:04,670 [ Sighs ] 749 00:33:04,670 --> 00:33:06,670 We're gonna have to sit his butt down 750 00:33:06,670 --> 00:33:09,040 and teach him about respect... 751 00:33:10,750 --> 00:33:13,670 ...empathy, consent. 752 00:33:13,670 --> 00:33:15,040 Condoms -- Oh, dear Lord. 753 00:33:15,040 --> 00:33:16,710 I have to talk to my son about condoms. 754 00:33:16,710 --> 00:33:18,540 100%. [ Sighs ] 755 00:33:18,540 --> 00:33:21,210 Or... 756 00:33:21,210 --> 00:33:23,880 I could sit down with him. 757 00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:27,120 It can be on you. 758 00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:32,420 But my dad gave me this talk, and it worked. 759 00:33:32,420 --> 00:33:34,580 [ Cellphone vibrates, chimes ] Woman on P.A.: Dr. Birsh to Pediatrics. Dr. Shelly Birsh to Pediatrics. 760 00:33:34,580 --> 00:33:36,080 Mm, I gotta go. 761 00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:40,210 [ Indistinct conversations ] 762 00:33:40,210 --> 00:33:41,540 Oh, I'm sorry, sir. 763 00:33:41,540 --> 00:33:43,080 You, uh -- You can't go through there. 764 00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:44,460 Well, why not? 765 00:33:44,460 --> 00:33:46,580 Because I've been asked to see that you don't. 766 00:33:46,580 --> 00:33:48,500 Wha-- 767 00:33:48,500 --> 00:33:49,670 [ Door opens, closes ] 768 00:33:49,670 --> 00:33:51,080 Well, but she can go? 769 00:33:51,080 --> 00:33:52,120 Yes, sir. 770 00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:56,170 [ Indistinct conversations ] 771 00:34:00,500 --> 00:34:02,750 Dr. Karev asked us to all stand here? 772 00:34:02,750 --> 00:34:03,880 Do we know why? 773 00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:07,210 Just... that a patient needs us. 774 00:34:07,210 --> 00:34:10,120 She needs all of us. 775 00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:11,620 Okay. 776 00:34:11,620 --> 00:34:14,620 [ Conversations continue ] 777 00:34:14,620 --> 00:34:16,540 Female nurse: Okay, ladies, we need you all to line up 778 00:34:16,540 --> 00:34:18,460 either on the right side or left. 779 00:34:18,460 --> 00:34:20,120 Please keep this middle aisle clear. 780 00:34:22,500 --> 00:34:24,210 Are you ready? 781 00:34:24,210 --> 00:34:26,460 [ Breathes deeply ] 782 00:34:30,790 --> 00:34:34,620 ♪ Standin' on the platform ♪ 783 00:34:34,620 --> 00:34:37,540 ♪ Watching you go ♪ 784 00:34:37,540 --> 00:34:38,830 ♪♪ 785 00:34:38,830 --> 00:34:41,120 Yes. 786 00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:44,500 ♪ It's like no other pain ♪ 787 00:34:44,500 --> 00:34:48,210 ♪ I've ever known ♪ 788 00:34:48,210 --> 00:34:51,170 ♪♪ 789 00:34:51,170 --> 00:34:54,080 ♪ To love someone so much ♪ 790 00:34:54,080 --> 00:34:58,040 ♪ To have no control ♪ 791 00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:01,080 ♪♪ 792 00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:04,540 ♪ You said, "I wanna see the world" ♪ 793 00:35:04,540 --> 00:35:08,170 ♪ And I said, "Go" ♪ 794 00:35:08,170 --> 00:35:13,380 ♪♪ 795 00:35:13,380 --> 00:35:19,670 ♪ But I think I'm lost without you ♪ 796 00:35:19,670 --> 00:35:24,290 ♪♪ 797 00:35:24,290 --> 00:35:29,500 ♪ Strangers rushin' past, just tryna get home ♪ 798 00:35:29,500 --> 00:35:33,960 ♪♪ 799 00:35:33,960 --> 00:35:39,540 ♪ You were the only safehaven that I've known ♪ 800 00:35:39,540 --> 00:35:43,960 ♪♪ 801 00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:46,170 ♪ Hits me at full speed ♪ 802 00:35:46,170 --> 00:35:50,000 ♪ Feel like I can't breathe ♪ 803 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:54,120 ♪ And nobody knows ♪ 804 00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:59,330 ♪ I think I'm lost without you ♪ 805 00:35:59,330 --> 00:36:00,830 Ready? 806 00:36:00,830 --> 00:36:04,790 ♪ You ♪ 807 00:36:04,790 --> 00:36:05,880 ♪ I just feel crushed... ♪ 808 00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:07,960 I'm staying right here. 809 00:36:07,960 --> 00:36:12,500 ♪ ...without you ♪ 810 00:36:12,500 --> 00:36:14,580 ♪ 'Cause I've been strong for so long ♪ 811 00:36:14,580 --> 00:36:17,710 [ Respirator hissing ] ♪ That I never thought ♪ 812 00:36:17,710 --> 00:36:24,420 ♪ How much I love you ♪ 813 00:36:24,420 --> 00:36:25,830 Teddy: I've seen soldiers like this. 814 00:36:25,830 --> 00:36:27,920 ♪ Standin' on the platform, watching you go ♪ 815 00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:29,250 Young women and young men, brutalized, 816 00:36:29,250 --> 00:36:31,420 with no idea how to talk about it. 817 00:36:31,420 --> 00:36:32,750 [ Monitor beeping ] 818 00:36:32,750 --> 00:36:35,920 What you did today with Abby, that was not protocol -- 819 00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:37,830 ♪ You said, "I wanna see the world" ♪ I know, I know, and I'm sorry. 820 00:36:37,830 --> 00:36:41,080 I'm saying it should be. 821 00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,920 ♪ And I said, "Go" ♪ 822 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,880 [ Monitor beeping ] 823 00:36:53,880 --> 00:36:55,290 Teddy: Abby, hi. 824 00:36:56,880 --> 00:36:59,080 We were able to repair your diaphragm. 825 00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:01,330 We had to place in a chest tube for drainage, 826 00:37:01,330 --> 00:37:04,380 but that'll probably come out in a few days. 827 00:37:04,380 --> 00:37:08,080 And your kit will stay here, if you decide to report it. 828 00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:09,960 [ Beeping continues ] 829 00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:11,920 You think I should do it, don't you? 830 00:37:11,920 --> 00:37:15,790 That is not our call to make. 831 00:37:15,790 --> 00:37:19,080 But we do think that you should talk to someone. 832 00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:21,250 Doesn't have to be your husband. 833 00:37:21,250 --> 00:37:23,960 But someone. 834 00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:27,920 I keep going over it in my head. 835 00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:31,790 If I hadn't been so distracted by my phone. 836 00:37:31,790 --> 00:37:33,580 If I had just trusted my gut 837 00:37:33,580 --> 00:37:36,420 and not gone down that street with the broken lamplights. 838 00:37:36,420 --> 00:37:38,960 Abby. 839 00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:43,500 This was not your fault. 840 00:37:43,500 --> 00:37:46,460 You didn't ask for this. 841 00:37:46,460 --> 00:37:49,920 There is nothing you did to deserve this. 842 00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:52,620 [ Beeping continues ] 843 00:37:52,620 --> 00:37:53,750 I can't. 844 00:37:53,750 --> 00:37:55,000 I just can't... 845 00:37:55,000 --> 00:37:56,750 Okay, that's okay. 846 00:37:58,210 --> 00:37:59,880 I'll check in on you in a little bit, all right? 847 00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:01,830 Try to get some rest. 848 00:38:01,830 --> 00:38:03,330 [ Beeping continues ] 849 00:38:03,330 --> 00:38:05,040 Woman on P.A.: Dr. Felix to the ER. 850 00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:06,790 Dr. Felix to the ER. 851 00:38:06,790 --> 00:38:09,500 [ Beeping continues ] 852 00:38:09,500 --> 00:38:11,040 Jack... 853 00:38:14,420 --> 00:38:17,830 He's gonna look at me and see this broken person. 854 00:38:17,830 --> 00:38:20,330 [ Beeping continues ] 855 00:38:20,330 --> 00:38:24,120 If I tell him this, it's all he'll ever see. 856 00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:25,210 Abby, look at me. 857 00:38:27,040 --> 00:38:29,210 This doesn't define you. 858 00:38:29,210 --> 00:38:31,500 And whether you tell your husband or you report it 859 00:38:31,500 --> 00:38:34,540 or you don't tell another soul, you're a survivor. 860 00:38:34,540 --> 00:38:37,250 You survived. 861 00:38:37,250 --> 00:38:39,500 I still feel nauseous when I see 862 00:38:39,500 --> 00:38:42,620 men in expensive shoes with the points of the toes, 863 00:38:42,620 --> 00:38:45,040 because that's how my ex-husband made my kidney bleed. 864 00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:47,880 For years, I thought I got what I deserved, 865 00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:50,500 that I was responsible, that maybe, 866 00:38:50,500 --> 00:38:55,170 just maybe if I had said or done one thing differently... 867 00:38:55,170 --> 00:38:57,080 But none of that was your fault. 868 00:38:57,080 --> 00:38:58,710 No. 869 00:38:58,710 --> 00:39:01,120 [ Beeping continues ] 870 00:39:03,580 --> 00:39:06,000 It's not your fault. 871 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:07,920 [ Beeping continues ] 872 00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:11,620 [ Breathes sharply ] 873 00:39:11,620 --> 00:39:13,710 [ Beeping continues ] 874 00:39:13,710 --> 00:39:15,670 [ Sniffles ] 875 00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:20,580 Do you have a phone I can use? 876 00:39:20,580 --> 00:39:22,330 Yes. 877 00:39:22,330 --> 00:39:25,120 [ Beeping continues ] 878 00:39:26,710 --> 00:39:28,790 [ Breathes sharply ] Will you stay? 879 00:39:28,790 --> 00:39:31,080 As long as you need. 880 00:39:32,620 --> 00:39:39,540 ♪♪ 881 00:39:39,540 --> 00:39:41,670 [ Breathes deeply ] 882 00:39:41,670 --> 00:39:43,120 [ Sniffles ] 883 00:39:43,120 --> 00:39:45,790 [ Cellphone buttons clicking ] 884 00:39:45,790 --> 00:39:47,250 ♪ Slow down ♪ 885 00:39:47,250 --> 00:39:48,880 ♪♪ 886 00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:50,210 [ Line ringing ] 887 00:39:50,210 --> 00:39:52,040 ♪ Try to breathe in deep ♪ 888 00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:53,120 [ Siren wailing in distance ] ♪ Listen ♪ 889 00:39:53,120 --> 00:39:55,080 [ Indistinct conversations ] 890 00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:56,620 ♪ To the words I speak ♪ 891 00:39:56,620 --> 00:39:58,580 Any game we watch on TV -- right? -- they -- 892 00:39:58,580 --> 00:40:03,580 they run, toss, wrestle, chase, until someone gets hurt. 893 00:40:03,580 --> 00:40:07,290 Or until someone calls "time out." 894 00:40:07,290 --> 00:40:09,080 Then the game stops. 895 00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:11,000 And no matter how much fun they're having, 896 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:12,920 everything stops. 897 00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:14,540 ♪ Calling out for help, out for help ♪ 898 00:40:14,540 --> 00:40:17,330 That's consent. 899 00:40:17,330 --> 00:40:19,000 I thought we were just having burgers. 900 00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,460 Yeah, well, I thought talking was just talking, 901 00:40:21,460 --> 00:40:23,000 but you and I both know that's not the same thing anymore, 902 00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:24,750 so... 903 00:40:24,750 --> 00:40:27,290 ♪ Waiting to save yourself from falling into deep ♪ 904 00:40:27,290 --> 00:40:30,460 You pay attention to the girl you're with, all right? 905 00:40:30,460 --> 00:40:32,540 You -- You -- You need to care about her feelings, 906 00:40:32,540 --> 00:40:33,830 her -- her joy, 907 00:40:33,830 --> 00:40:36,120 at -- at least as much as you care about your own. 908 00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:37,460 Okay, okay. ♪ I won't let you down, my friend ♪ 909 00:40:37,460 --> 00:40:39,710 And she gets to change her mind. At any time. 910 00:40:39,710 --> 00:40:42,710 I mean, if she says "stop," or if she stops having fun, you -- 911 00:40:42,710 --> 00:40:44,790 you just plain stop. ♪ I won't let you fight alone ♪ 912 00:40:44,790 --> 00:40:46,540 Time out. 913 00:40:46,540 --> 00:40:47,580 Game over. 914 00:40:47,580 --> 00:40:48,960 I know. 915 00:40:48,960 --> 00:40:51,830 ♪ I won't leave you in the cold on your own ♪ 916 00:40:51,830 --> 00:40:54,380 Being with someone you like is... 917 00:40:54,380 --> 00:40:55,960 ♪ I won't let you down, my friend ♪ 918 00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:58,500 There's nothing like it, and I want you to be safe and happy, 919 00:40:58,500 --> 00:41:02,330 but that only happens if she is, too. 920 00:41:02,330 --> 00:41:03,580 Okay. 921 00:41:03,580 --> 00:41:04,920 Say it. 922 00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:06,670 ♪ Come and sit with me down ♪ 923 00:41:06,670 --> 00:41:08,620 Say it. [ Slurps ] 924 00:41:08,620 --> 00:41:11,290 ♪ Pour out whatever's weighing you down ♪ 925 00:41:11,290 --> 00:41:15,460 If she stops having fun, just plain stop. 926 00:41:15,460 --> 00:41:16,580 Time out. Game over. 927 00:41:16,580 --> 00:41:18,710 Always. 928 00:41:18,710 --> 00:41:22,580 Now, pass those fries and tell me what this Kelly is like. 929 00:41:22,580 --> 00:41:24,620 ♪ Calm down, calm down ♪ 930 00:41:24,620 --> 00:41:26,830 Yeah. 931 00:41:26,830 --> 00:41:29,080 Too often, trauma gets dismissed 932 00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:31,830 as "just in our head." 933 00:41:31,830 --> 00:41:33,170 But the pain is real. 934 00:41:33,170 --> 00:41:34,710 ♪ Waiting to save yourself ♪ 935 00:41:34,710 --> 00:41:37,080 We feel it... 936 00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:40,670 in our muscles, our cells, 937 00:41:40,670 --> 00:41:44,000 our hearts, our heads. 938 00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:47,580 ♪ Stop running, stop hiding ♪ 939 00:41:47,580 --> 00:41:50,290 And while there's no magic fix... 940 00:41:50,290 --> 00:41:51,540 ♪ I won't let you down, my friend ♪ 941 00:41:51,540 --> 00:41:55,380 ...no pill to make it disappear, 942 00:41:55,380 --> 00:41:56,790 we can ask for help. 943 00:41:56,790 --> 00:42:00,620 ♪ I won't let you fight alone ♪ 944 00:42:00,620 --> 00:42:03,210 Hey, I'm officially no longer the interim chief, 945 00:42:03,210 --> 00:42:05,080 and officially starving. 946 00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:06,710 Can I take you out to celebrate? 947 00:42:06,710 --> 00:42:07,880 I've had a rough day. 948 00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:09,620 I don't really feel like celebrating. 949 00:42:09,620 --> 00:42:11,580 Yeah, well, we can just talk. 950 00:42:11,580 --> 00:42:13,710 I just want to go home and crawl into bed. 951 00:42:13,710 --> 00:42:14,670 All right, well, we can do that. 952 00:42:14,670 --> 00:42:16,250 Alex, I'm tired. 953 00:42:16,250 --> 00:42:18,830 Can you just go celebrate with Meredith? 954 00:42:18,830 --> 00:42:21,210 Jo, it's me. You can talk to me. 955 00:42:21,210 --> 00:42:22,500 What -- you think with all my family crap 956 00:42:22,500 --> 00:42:23,960 that I'm gonna judge you? 957 00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:26,040 I'm not gonna judge. 958 00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:29,000 Just -- I just want you to talk to me. 959 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,380 I don't want to talk about it. 960 00:42:31,380 --> 00:42:33,290 Alex, I -- 961 00:42:33,290 --> 00:42:35,880 I can't talk about it. 962 00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:37,920 I just want to go home. 963 00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:40,080 I want to go home alone. 964 00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:43,250 I want to go home and sleep. Please. 965 00:42:43,250 --> 00:42:44,920 ♪ I won't let you fight alone ♪ 966 00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:47,790 ♪♪ 967 00:42:47,790 --> 00:42:50,040 And we can tell our truth... 968 00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:51,960 ♪ I won't leave you in the cold on your own ♪ 969 00:42:51,960 --> 00:42:53,620 ...whenever we're ready. 970 00:42:53,620 --> 00:42:57,290 ♪ I won't let you down, my friend ♪ 971 00:43:03,580 --> 00:43:08,580 ♪♪ 972 00:43:08,580 --> 00:43:14,580 ♪♪ 973 00:43:14,580 --> 00:43:20,580 ♪♪ 974 00:43:20,580 --> 00:43:26,580 ♪♪