1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:06,540 Meredith: "Battle." "Fight." 2 00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:10,330 "Win." "Lose." 3 00:00:10,330 --> 00:00:12,000 These are the words we use 4 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:15,580 when someone is diagnosed with an illness or a disease. 5 00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:20,170 Catherine: ♪ No wind, no rain ♪ 6 00:00:20,170 --> 00:00:24,040 ♪ Or winter's cold ♪ 7 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,960 ♪ Can stop me, baby ♪ 8 00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,580 ♪ Oh, baby ♪ 9 00:00:29,580 --> 00:00:32,790 ♪ If you're my goal ♪ 10 00:00:32,790 --> 00:00:36,920 ♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪ 11 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:39,120 We use militarized language 12 00:00:39,120 --> 00:00:40,880 that implies it's a fair fight. 13 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:43,080 [ Beeping ] 14 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:46,920 ♪♪ 15 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:49,290 All: God grant me the serenity 16 00:00:49,290 --> 00:00:52,290 to accept the things I cannot change, 17 00:00:52,290 --> 00:00:55,420 the courage to change the things I can, 18 00:00:55,420 --> 00:00:57,880 and the wisdom to know the difference. 19 00:00:57,880 --> 00:00:59,620 But when it comes to life and death, 20 00:00:59,620 --> 00:01:02,080 what does winning really look like? 21 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:03,960 Is a person a loser for dying 22 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:06,080 when the outcome isn't really in their control... 23 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:08,120 [ Buzzer ] Oh. Damn it. 24 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:09,750 If any patients see you like that, 25 00:01:09,750 --> 00:01:11,580 they might go to another hospital. 26 00:01:11,580 --> 00:01:12,920 Always gets me in the mood. 27 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:14,080 Plus, you know, I'm seeing what daylight feels like 28 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:15,080 while I still can. 29 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:16,290 How's Catherine? 30 00:01:16,290 --> 00:01:18,000 She's ready. 31 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:18,960 And you? Shh, shh, shh, shh. 32 00:01:20,460 --> 00:01:22,620 Ah. 33 00:01:22,620 --> 00:01:24,960 Funny bone. Not as easy as it looks. 34 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,420 Okay, then. I have real patients, 35 00:01:29,420 --> 00:01:31,920 so, you know, good luck with...all this. 36 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:34,790 [ Sighs ] [ Buzzer ] 37 00:01:34,790 --> 00:01:37,080 I'm messing with you. 38 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:40,000 You're gonna do great. You and Amelia. 39 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,960 You're ready. [ Exhales sharply ] 40 00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:43,330 Charley horse. 41 00:01:43,330 --> 00:01:48,960 ♪♪ 42 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:50,380 [ Indistinct talking over P.A. ] 43 00:01:50,380 --> 00:01:52,790 There he is. Thought you might need this. 44 00:01:52,790 --> 00:01:55,000 Oh. No, thanks. But I'm -- I'm good. 45 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,210 I'm running late for Catherine's scans. 46 00:01:57,210 --> 00:01:59,120 Okay, well, I have cleared all my surgeries today 47 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,170 and shored up child care, 48 00:02:00,170 --> 00:02:01,460 so I'm here for you, whatever you need, 49 00:02:01,460 --> 00:02:03,290 whenever you need it. Like I said, I'm good. 50 00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:06,210 Okay, Richard, it's gonna be a very long day. 51 00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:10,040 Look, Meredith, I have plenty of doctors 52 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:11,620 and plenty of friends looking out for me. 53 00:02:11,620 --> 00:02:14,460 You know who doesn't? Your father. 54 00:02:14,460 --> 00:02:17,620 Molly had to get back to Bahrain with her kids. 55 00:02:17,620 --> 00:02:19,290 He's all alone. 56 00:02:19,290 --> 00:02:21,290 And I will make time to see Thatcher this week, 57 00:02:21,290 --> 00:02:23,290 but today is all about you and Catherine. 58 00:02:23,290 --> 00:02:24,710 Meredith, Thatcher may not have a week. 59 00:02:24,710 --> 00:02:28,710 Now, I know it's never been easy between you two, 60 00:02:28,710 --> 00:02:30,670 but the time to change that is running out. 61 00:02:30,670 --> 00:02:32,330 ♪♪ 62 00:02:32,330 --> 00:02:34,080 Excuse me. 63 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:40,080 ♪♪ 64 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,330 [ Door opens ] 65 00:02:48,330 --> 00:02:50,080 Richard: Oh, I'm sorry I missed your scan. 66 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:53,330 Oh, please. I went in. I came out. 67 00:02:53,330 --> 00:02:54,920 Same as the first million times. 68 00:02:54,920 --> 00:02:56,670 Well, I could have been there for you. 69 00:02:56,670 --> 00:02:58,250 You had a good excuse. 70 00:02:58,250 --> 00:03:01,170 There's my girl! 71 00:03:01,170 --> 00:03:04,380 [ Chuckles ] There's my girl! 72 00:03:04,380 --> 00:03:06,000 Let me get her for you. Relax. 73 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,080 [ Giggles ] 74 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:08,420 Do you want to go to Grandma? 75 00:03:08,420 --> 00:03:10,920 Say, "Hi, Grandma." "Hi, Grandma." 76 00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:13,210 Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 77 00:03:13,210 --> 00:03:14,920 Did Koracick re-check the CT angio? 78 00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:17,210 Yes, and please stop. 79 00:03:17,210 --> 00:03:19,210 I appreciate both of you wanting to be a part of this, 80 00:03:19,210 --> 00:03:21,540 but I have a crackerjack neuro team. 81 00:03:21,540 --> 00:03:24,040 I need you to be my husband and my son today. 82 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:27,420 [ Knock on door ] Koracick: And we need you to be our patient. 83 00:03:27,420 --> 00:03:29,580 Hmm, Thomas, you're getting ready to cut open my spine. 84 00:03:29,580 --> 00:03:31,540 I will be whatever I want. 85 00:03:31,540 --> 00:03:33,290 Oh. Music to my ears. 86 00:03:33,290 --> 00:03:35,790 Now, we will go in posteriorly 87 00:03:35,790 --> 00:03:36,790 with our stealth system 88 00:03:36,790 --> 00:03:39,290 and our newly pilfered ORBEYE scope. 89 00:03:39,290 --> 00:03:42,960 The plan is to go in and remove it en bloc. 90 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:44,120 And you really think that posteriorly 91 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:45,710 is the way to go? 92 00:03:45,710 --> 00:03:47,460 Oh, it is fun to have so many surgeons in one family. 93 00:03:47,460 --> 00:03:48,790 Remind me, Avery -- 94 00:03:48,790 --> 00:03:51,460 when did you become double board certified in neuro? 95 00:03:51,460 --> 00:03:52,750 That's really how you talk to your patient's family? 96 00:03:52,750 --> 00:03:53,830 It is, actually. 97 00:03:56,580 --> 00:03:58,580 We need to go in posteriorly 98 00:03:58,580 --> 00:04:00,580 to avoid the carotid and the jugular, 99 00:04:00,580 --> 00:04:03,620 and to avoid having to weave through the brachial plexus. 100 00:04:03,620 --> 00:04:05,580 Koracick: Look, I know how hard it is to be on the bench, 101 00:04:05,580 --> 00:04:07,420 but we are the A-Team. And we don't lose. 102 00:04:07,420 --> 00:04:10,170 Just ask Shepherd's tumor. Oh, wait, you can't. 103 00:04:10,170 --> 00:04:12,250 Because I removed it. Flawlessly. 104 00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:14,960 Okay, any last questions? 105 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:17,330 Um...it looks like you've got this. 106 00:04:17,330 --> 00:04:19,080 We do. 107 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:21,790 Mm-hmm. [ Smooches ] 108 00:04:21,790 --> 00:04:23,170 I'm good. 109 00:04:23,170 --> 00:04:26,420 But, you know, I-I um... 110 00:04:26,420 --> 00:04:30,790 I think I'd like to just take a little walk 111 00:04:30,790 --> 00:04:32,290 before we get started. 112 00:04:32,290 --> 00:04:34,790 I'd be happy to -- Oh, no, honey. 113 00:04:34,790 --> 00:04:37,620 I want to go alone. 114 00:04:37,620 --> 00:04:39,290 Koracick: Okay, then, but no guarantees 115 00:04:39,290 --> 00:04:40,620 I won't watch you walk away. 116 00:04:40,620 --> 00:04:42,000 You always do. 117 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,330 [ Scoffs ] 118 00:04:45,330 --> 00:04:53,620 ♪♪ 119 00:04:53,620 --> 00:04:55,790 [ Exhales sharply ] 120 00:04:55,790 --> 00:05:01,330 ♪♪ 121 00:05:01,330 --> 00:05:06,790 ♪♪ 122 00:05:06,790 --> 00:05:08,960 [ Exhales sharply ] 123 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:09,960 [ Doorbell rings ] 124 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:17,540 ♪♪ 125 00:05:17,540 --> 00:05:19,330 Hi. I'm -- 126 00:05:19,330 --> 00:05:20,710 Meredith? 127 00:05:20,710 --> 00:05:22,000 Yeah. 128 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,250 I'm sorry. 129 00:05:23,250 --> 00:05:25,330 You look just like your picture. 130 00:05:25,330 --> 00:05:27,500 You're the surgeon, right? 131 00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:29,040 Yeah. 132 00:05:31,670 --> 00:05:33,750 Uh, do you want to come in? 133 00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:36,250 That's a loaded question. 134 00:05:36,250 --> 00:05:37,170 [ Laughs ] 135 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,250 I'm not sure if he's awake. 136 00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:48,880 He sleeps more and more these days 137 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:50,040 as you can imagine. 138 00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:52,250 Uh, can I get you something? 139 00:05:52,250 --> 00:05:54,500 Water? Gin, maybe? 140 00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:56,790 [ Both chuckle ] 141 00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:59,420 All right. 142 00:05:59,420 --> 00:06:02,710 Thatcher? You have a visitor. 143 00:06:02,710 --> 00:06:11,290 ♪♪ 144 00:06:11,290 --> 00:06:13,120 Meredith! 145 00:06:13,120 --> 00:06:14,960 ♪♪ 146 00:06:14,960 --> 00:06:16,460 Hi... 147 00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:18,460 ♪♪ 148 00:06:18,460 --> 00:06:19,880 Hi. 149 00:06:25,290 --> 00:06:26,880 He's not on any pain meds. Clean and sober. 150 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:28,210 His wishes. 151 00:06:28,210 --> 00:06:30,210 So, just the oxygen, if he needs it. 152 00:06:30,210 --> 00:06:31,210 But you know how that works. 153 00:06:31,210 --> 00:06:33,210 I do. 154 00:06:33,210 --> 00:06:34,880 Well, I'll leave you to it. 155 00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,290 My cellphone number is on the fridge. 156 00:06:36,290 --> 00:06:37,920 If you need anything, give me a call. 157 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:40,750 [ Door opens ] 158 00:06:43,580 --> 00:06:44,960 [ Door closes ] 159 00:06:50,250 --> 00:06:53,250 I probably can't stay very long. 160 00:06:53,250 --> 00:06:55,750 I just... 161 00:06:58,250 --> 00:07:01,000 There's so much to say, I-I... 162 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,120 I don't know what to say. 163 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:06,920 I didn't come here to say anything 164 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:08,920 or to hear you say anything to me, so... 165 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:10,580 we can just sit, if that's okay. 166 00:07:10,580 --> 00:07:12,420 Okay. 167 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:44,830 ♪♪ 168 00:07:44,830 --> 00:07:45,830 [ Door opens ] 169 00:07:45,830 --> 00:07:47,670 Jackson: Mom. 170 00:07:47,670 --> 00:07:49,830 I was looking for you. 171 00:07:49,830 --> 00:07:54,120 ♪♪ 172 00:07:54,120 --> 00:07:55,880 You know I give Amelia and Koracick a hard time, 173 00:07:55,880 --> 00:07:57,460 but they're the best. 174 00:07:57,460 --> 00:08:00,330 I was thinking about my first surgery. 175 00:08:00,330 --> 00:08:03,500 The very first time I held a scalpel in my hand. 176 00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:06,830 It was a simple lipoma, but I was terrified. 177 00:08:06,830 --> 00:08:08,880 Hmm. 178 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:11,380 I expected to feel so powerful, invincible. 179 00:08:11,380 --> 00:08:13,000 But the second that scrub nurse 180 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,380 put that 10 blade in my hand, 181 00:08:15,380 --> 00:08:16,670 I went ice cold. 182 00:08:16,670 --> 00:08:19,330 Okay, so then what did you do? 183 00:08:19,330 --> 00:08:22,330 Diana Ross. "Ain't No Mountain High Enough." 184 00:08:22,330 --> 00:08:24,500 The first time I heard that song, 185 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:27,670 it just filled me with joy and such calm... 186 00:08:27,670 --> 00:08:29,080 so I just sang it 187 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:31,500 over and over and over in my head, in that O.R., 188 00:08:31,500 --> 00:08:35,380 until that same sense of calm and joy washed over me. 189 00:08:35,380 --> 00:08:37,210 And it's been my secret weapon 190 00:08:37,210 --> 00:08:39,000 for everything that's ever scared me -- 191 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,330 my first surgery. 192 00:08:40,330 --> 00:08:42,750 Labor with you, it was on an endless loop. 193 00:08:42,750 --> 00:08:44,120 [ Both chuckle ] 194 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:48,250 Every PET scan, every MRI. 195 00:08:48,250 --> 00:08:50,710 ♪♪ 196 00:08:50,710 --> 00:08:52,040 I remember you singing that song in the kitchen 197 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:53,880 when I was doing my homework. 198 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:55,710 You told me it was old people music. [ Laughs ] 199 00:08:55,710 --> 00:08:57,250 [ Laughs ] You wanted Michael Jackson. 200 00:08:57,250 --> 00:08:59,580 I love me some Michael. Ooh. 201 00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:01,620 I had to pry that red leather jacket off of you 202 00:09:01,620 --> 00:09:02,790 to get you to go to bed at night. 203 00:09:02,790 --> 00:09:05,210 Ah, that's true. 204 00:09:05,210 --> 00:09:07,250 Oh. 205 00:09:07,250 --> 00:09:08,880 I guess I used to do the same thing. 206 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,880 My first surgery, I sang a song in my head. 207 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:14,420 I mean, it calmed me, you know? I know. 208 00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:16,040 I watched you. 209 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,210 My first -- How did you watch? 210 00:09:18,210 --> 00:09:21,040 Child, please. I am Catherine Fox. 211 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:22,250 Do you think there's a world 212 00:09:22,250 --> 00:09:23,670 where I wouldn't sneak into the gallery 213 00:09:23,670 --> 00:09:25,460 of my baby's first surgery? 214 00:09:25,460 --> 00:09:27,420 Oh, you were a sight to see... 215 00:09:27,420 --> 00:09:29,670 Mm. 216 00:09:29,670 --> 00:09:32,750 I bet Harriet does the same thing someday. 217 00:09:32,750 --> 00:09:36,580 Well, I'll be sneaking up into the gallery with you, then. 218 00:09:36,580 --> 00:09:39,330 Deal. 219 00:09:39,330 --> 00:09:42,290 That's a deal. 220 00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:45,080 Now, can we please get you to your room? 221 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:47,460 Not yet. 222 00:09:47,460 --> 00:09:48,460 Mom... 223 00:09:48,460 --> 00:09:50,580 I left the foundation in your name, 224 00:09:50,580 --> 00:09:52,420 just in case anything happens to me. 225 00:09:52,420 --> 00:09:54,420 Cecilia runs the day-to-day operations, 226 00:09:54,420 --> 00:09:56,250 Charlie keeps the books humming, 227 00:09:56,250 --> 00:09:59,250 but they'll need a leader, a North Star. 228 00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:01,000 And in the event that I'm left totally paralyzed -- 229 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,580 Mom, even if you can't operate, 230 00:10:02,580 --> 00:10:03,580 you're still gonna run the foundation, okay? 231 00:10:03,580 --> 00:10:05,120 You'll teach. 232 00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:07,120 You're Catherine Fox. What are you gonna do? 233 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:08,040 You're gonna be all up in my business 234 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:09,620 and everybody else's. 235 00:10:09,620 --> 00:10:10,620 We both know you're gonna find a way to do that. 236 00:10:10,620 --> 00:10:13,040 Keep this. Turn the page. 237 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,210 I've already -- Turn the page. 238 00:10:15,210 --> 00:10:17,120 ♪♪ 239 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:18,460 You planned your own party? 240 00:10:18,460 --> 00:10:20,120 [ Laughs ] Mom. 241 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,670 If I get out of this alive, the fun we're gonna have -- 242 00:10:22,670 --> 00:10:25,040 and don't you even think about scrimping on those egg rolls. 243 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:26,670 You know they're my favorite. 244 00:10:26,670 --> 00:10:30,290 You really planned everything. 245 00:10:30,290 --> 00:10:33,040 I always do. 246 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:34,290 All right, then. 247 00:10:34,290 --> 00:10:37,460 Shall we? 248 00:10:37,460 --> 00:10:40,040 [ Exhales deeply ] 249 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,040 [ Smooches ] 250 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:44,290 ♪♪ 251 00:10:44,290 --> 00:10:47,330 Thatcher: Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe. 252 00:10:47,330 --> 00:10:50,250 Phillip put these everywhere for me. 253 00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:52,380 He said it's supposed to be soothing. 254 00:10:52,380 --> 00:10:54,000 Truth be told, 255 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,830 it just makes me miss it more. 256 00:10:55,830 --> 00:10:57,670 [ Chuckles ] 257 00:10:57,670 --> 00:11:00,040 A few years back, a student told me about 258 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:03,710 a semester he took abroad building schools. 259 00:11:03,710 --> 00:11:08,170 Lexie was gone, and I thought I could either 260 00:11:08,170 --> 00:11:09,500 drown my grief in a bottle of Scotch 261 00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:11,670 or do something. So I did something. 262 00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:13,830 [ Chuckles ] 263 00:11:15,540 --> 00:11:17,170 In Zimbabwe. 264 00:11:17,170 --> 00:11:21,750 The sunsets, Meredith... and the quiet. 265 00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:24,670 The people that I met, they have this passion 266 00:11:24,670 --> 00:11:28,710 for life, loving, learning... 267 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:34,880 And then you got sick. 268 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:37,250 [ Sighs ] I thought I'd just come home, 269 00:11:37,250 --> 00:11:38,620 do whatever treatment I needed to do, 270 00:11:38,620 --> 00:11:41,880 and then go back, but... It was good. Coming home. 271 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:46,250 It gave me a chance to -- It was the right thing to do. 272 00:11:50,380 --> 00:11:52,380 You went and got a whole new life. 273 00:11:52,380 --> 00:11:54,080 I did. [ Sighs ] 274 00:11:55,710 --> 00:11:57,540 I'm glad for you. 275 00:11:57,540 --> 00:12:00,380 I'm glad you saw sunsets and built schools 276 00:12:00,380 --> 00:12:02,960 for people who needed them and you stayed sober. 277 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:04,580 You went and got a whole new life. 278 00:12:04,580 --> 00:12:09,040 Halfway across the world this time. 279 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:10,290 But you didn't give a damn 280 00:12:10,290 --> 00:12:11,580 about the people you left behind. 281 00:12:15,580 --> 00:12:17,620 Say it again. 282 00:12:17,620 --> 00:12:20,170 We make an incision posteriorly from C3 to T4, 283 00:12:20,170 --> 00:12:21,580 and then use the stealth probe 284 00:12:21,580 --> 00:12:23,170 to mark the coordinates of the tumor. 285 00:12:23,170 --> 00:12:25,000 And then do partial laminectomies 286 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,790 to access the tumor and remove it en bloc. 287 00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:28,960 Perfect. Brilliant. 288 00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:30,420 We are incredible. 289 00:12:30,420 --> 00:12:31,790 Someone should really do a study on us. 290 00:12:31,790 --> 00:12:34,170 [ Chuckles, exhales sharply ] 291 00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:35,790 Okay, say it. 292 00:12:35,790 --> 00:12:38,170 What? Wh-- Oh. No. 293 00:12:38,170 --> 00:12:40,580 Ha ha! I'm good. 294 00:12:40,580 --> 00:12:43,420 Good, good, good, good. Big Gun. 295 00:12:43,420 --> 00:12:44,920 Ready to Big Gun the crap out of this tumor. 296 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:46,080 [ Chuckles nervously ] 297 00:12:47,290 --> 00:12:49,120 Damn it. 298 00:12:49,120 --> 00:12:51,000 Even my arrogance is off. Right? 299 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,290 Right. 300 00:12:53,290 --> 00:12:55,290 W-What if we try, uh, your thing? 301 00:12:55,290 --> 00:12:57,460 You know, the -- the word-vomit and the feelings? 302 00:12:57,460 --> 00:12:59,540 That seems to work. For you. 303 00:12:59,540 --> 00:13:01,040 Okay. 304 00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:02,620 You -- you first. 305 00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,710 This is the largest tumor I've ever seen 306 00:13:06,710 --> 00:13:08,120 on the biggest legend I've ever known, 307 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,120 and if I screw this up, I'm gonna have to live out 308 00:13:10,120 --> 00:13:11,120 the rest of my ill-fated surgical career 309 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:12,290 fixing idiot teenagers 310 00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:13,500 who get hurt cow-tipping in Lawrence, Kansas, 311 00:13:13,500 --> 00:13:14,710 'cause I can't look Richard in the eye 312 00:13:14,710 --> 00:13:16,170 knowing I gorked his legend wife. 313 00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:18,210 That is specific. 314 00:13:18,210 --> 00:13:20,000 Well... I'm saying, 315 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,170 how do you get hurt cow-tipping? It's a thing. 316 00:13:22,170 --> 00:13:24,880 Just...You. Go. 317 00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:27,290 Uh, Catherine Fox is an icon, and a magician, 318 00:13:27,290 --> 00:13:28,880 and a giant among men -- 319 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:30,880 and not just for the reasons you think. 320 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:32,460 She's saved more penises in her O.R. 321 00:13:32,460 --> 00:13:33,920 than any surgeon on the planet. 322 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:35,330 And all I keep imagining 323 00:13:35,330 --> 00:13:36,670 are the dozens of men with zero-functioning penises, 324 00:13:36,670 --> 00:13:38,040 doomed to live out their sexless lives 325 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:39,920 if I botch this surgery. 326 00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:42,330 That's what you're worried about? 327 00:13:42,330 --> 00:13:43,710 Men and their junk? 328 00:13:43,710 --> 00:13:46,080 That, and if I lose her... 329 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:49,920 I've lost enough. 330 00:13:51,380 --> 00:13:52,750 So let's keep her alive. 331 00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:55,380 ♪♪ 332 00:13:55,380 --> 00:13:56,540 Let's keep her alive. 333 00:13:56,540 --> 00:14:03,170 ♪♪ 334 00:14:03,170 --> 00:14:05,500 [ Inhales sharply ] 335 00:14:05,500 --> 00:14:10,920 ♪♪ 336 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:12,880 I told them I didn't need a personal escort 337 00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:14,920 to my own surgery. 338 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,290 Well, that's just making sure 339 00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:18,120 you don't make a break for it. 340 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:20,120 Thomas, make sure that I wake up 341 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:23,120 with good motor and nerve function. 342 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:26,080 And don't forget to get clean margins. 343 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:27,080 I wouldn't dream of it. 344 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:28,540 And would you tell my husband 345 00:14:28,540 --> 00:14:30,710 he does not have to sit up in that gallery all day? 346 00:14:30,710 --> 00:14:31,880 "For better, for worse" 347 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,080 does not include seeing your wife's insides. 348 00:14:34,080 --> 00:14:35,710 You know, you wouldn't be you 349 00:14:35,710 --> 00:14:37,540 if you weren't bossing us all around 350 00:14:37,540 --> 00:14:39,120 up until the last second. 351 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:42,210 Amelia: You nervous? 352 00:14:42,210 --> 00:14:43,540 [ Exhales sharply ] Were you? 353 00:14:43,540 --> 00:14:47,040 A little bit. But I turned out just fine. 354 00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,120 That's because I was perfect, 355 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,460 which I'm willing to be again. 356 00:14:50,460 --> 00:14:51,580 Richard: Well, you better be. 357 00:14:51,580 --> 00:14:52,750 Oh, Richard, I always liked you. 358 00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:54,290 No, you didn't. 359 00:14:54,290 --> 00:14:56,080 And I'm fine as long as she's fine. 360 00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:58,330 Okay, okay, can I have a minute with my husband, please? 361 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:20,750 I will see you... when I wake up. 362 00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:22,620 Jackson? 363 00:15:22,620 --> 00:15:25,080 Where's Jackson? 364 00:15:25,080 --> 00:15:26,960 [ Diana Ross' "Ain't No Mountain High Enough" plays ] 365 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:27,750 [ Laughs ] ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 366 00:15:27,750 --> 00:15:28,920 One for the road? 367 00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:32,170 Oh, ha ha! My baby! 368 00:15:32,170 --> 00:15:35,290 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ [ Sighs ] 369 00:15:36,790 --> 00:15:39,790 [ Screams, laughs ] 370 00:15:39,790 --> 00:15:45,960 [ Vocalizing ] 371 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:49,540 ♪ If you need me ♪ 372 00:15:49,540 --> 00:15:52,120 ♪ Call me ♪ 373 00:15:52,120 --> 00:15:54,460 ♪ No matter where you are ♪ 374 00:15:54,460 --> 00:15:56,670 ♪ No matter how far ♪ 375 00:15:56,670 --> 00:15:58,880 ♪ No wind ♪ ♪ No wind ♪ 376 00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:00,460 ♪ No rain ♪ ♪ No rain ♪ 377 00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,040 ♪ Can stop me, babe ♪ 378 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:06,120 ♪ If you're my goal ♪ 379 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:11,380 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 380 00:16:11,380 --> 00:16:14,040 ♪ Ain't no mountain high enough ♪ ♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪ 381 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:16,790 ♪ Ain't no valley low enough ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh ♪ 382 00:16:16,790 --> 00:16:18,540 ♪ Ain't no river wide enough ♪ ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 383 00:16:18,540 --> 00:16:21,540 ♪ To keep me from you ♪ 384 00:16:21,540 --> 00:16:26,580 ♪ Ain't no mountain high enough ♪ 385 00:16:26,580 --> 00:16:31,330 ♪ Nothing can keep me, keep me from you ♪ 386 00:16:31,330 --> 00:16:33,250 ♪ Ain't no mountain high enough to keep me from you ♪ 387 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:41,670 [ The Commitments' "Mustang Sally" plays ] 388 00:16:41,670 --> 00:16:45,040 ♪ You've been running all over town ♪ 389 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:48,250 Koracick: Just like that, we are ready to navigate. 390 00:16:48,250 --> 00:16:51,500 Amelia: Don't you want to confirm the accuracy first? 391 00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:52,670 Oh, what would I do without someone here 392 00:16:52,670 --> 00:16:54,670 to remind me of the obvious? 393 00:16:54,670 --> 00:16:57,040 I'm just saying, maybe a little less music, 394 00:16:57,040 --> 00:16:58,500 a little more concentration. 395 00:16:58,500 --> 00:17:02,710 ♪ All you want to do is ride around, Sally ♪ 396 00:17:02,710 --> 00:17:05,080 ♪ Ride, Sally, ride ♪ 397 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:06,790 Whoo! 398 00:17:06,790 --> 00:17:09,420 This is going to be a long day. 399 00:17:09,420 --> 00:17:13,580 And you are gonna love every minute of it. 400 00:17:13,580 --> 00:17:15,210 We're gonna get down in there. 401 00:17:15,210 --> 00:17:17,040 Get down and dirty. Here we go. 402 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,580 ♪ All you want to do is ride around, Sally ♪ 403 00:17:19,580 --> 00:17:23,960 ♪ Ride, Sally, ride ♪ 404 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:27,880 ♪ All you want to do is ride around, Sally ♪ 405 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,120 Mind if I join you? 406 00:17:29,120 --> 00:17:30,710 ♪ Ride, Sally, ride ♪ 407 00:17:30,710 --> 00:17:32,080 I'd like that. 408 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:35,790 ♪ One of these early mornings ♪ 409 00:17:35,790 --> 00:17:36,920 ♪ I'm gonna be wiping those weeping eyes ♪ 410 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:39,290 How's the resection going? 411 00:17:39,290 --> 00:17:41,210 So far so good. 412 00:17:41,210 --> 00:17:43,460 Koracick: Come on. Let it loose. Let it out. 413 00:17:43,460 --> 00:17:45,460 Are you sure you don't want to be in the waiting room? 414 00:17:45,460 --> 00:17:47,330 I can watch, and I can report back to you guys. 415 00:17:47,330 --> 00:17:49,920 No, I'm fine right where I am. I-I'm good. 416 00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:51,250 ♪ I bought you a brand-new mustang ♪ 417 00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:55,000 Do it with me. Come on, now. 418 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,000 You're mad. 419 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,250 Meredith: I'm not mad. 420 00:17:58,250 --> 00:18:00,670 Meredith... 421 00:18:00,670 --> 00:18:02,500 Fine. I'm mad. 422 00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:04,080 Because I moved away. 423 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,330 Because you ran away. 424 00:18:06,330 --> 00:18:09,460 Because you have never fought for anyone or anything 425 00:18:09,460 --> 00:18:11,670 that you cared for in your life. 426 00:18:11,670 --> 00:18:13,670 You just disappear. 427 00:18:13,670 --> 00:18:16,250 When I gave you a piece of my liver, 428 00:18:16,250 --> 00:18:18,250 you said we would try, right? 429 00:18:18,250 --> 00:18:20,420 You said we could get to know each other. 430 00:18:20,420 --> 00:18:23,080 You didn't try. You didn't fight. 431 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:24,580 And when Lexie died -- 432 00:18:24,580 --> 00:18:25,960 I know. I know. No, you don't know, 433 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:27,380 because you weren't here. 434 00:18:27,380 --> 00:18:30,620 I lost my sister. I lost my husband. 435 00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:32,170 And you were nowhere to be found. 436 00:18:32,170 --> 00:18:33,380 That's not -- [ Clears throat ] 437 00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:36,880 Meredith, I was there after Derek died. 438 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:38,290 No, why would you say something like that? 439 00:18:38,290 --> 00:18:40,290 Because it's the truth, Meredith. 440 00:18:40,290 --> 00:18:42,040 Richard told me Derek died. I bought a ticket. 441 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:43,290 I flew all day, all night. 442 00:18:43,290 --> 00:18:46,040 I got to the funeral just -- just in time. 443 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,120 I stood a few rows back. [ Scoffs ] 444 00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:50,880 Next to some of your doctor friends from the hospital. 445 00:18:50,880 --> 00:18:53,670 I would remember if you were at his funeral. 446 00:18:53,670 --> 00:18:54,960 I was there, Meredith. 447 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:57,460 But you were barely there. You were a ghost. 448 00:18:57,460 --> 00:19:00,670 You looked like me when I lost Susan and Lexie. 449 00:19:00,670 --> 00:19:02,330 Are you saying you came to the funeral 450 00:19:02,330 --> 00:19:03,790 and didn't speak to me? 451 00:19:03,790 --> 00:19:06,460 I felt like it would -- would have been for me, 452 00:19:06,460 --> 00:19:09,000 not -- [ Coughs ] not -- not -- [ Coughs ] 453 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:12,000 for -- [ Coughs ] for you. 454 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,080 [ Coughing, wheezing ] 455 00:19:13,080 --> 00:19:15,500 Let's get you to the bed. 456 00:19:15,500 --> 00:19:17,170 [ Coughing ] 457 00:19:17,170 --> 00:19:23,500 ♪♪ 458 00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:29,920 ♪♪ 459 00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:33,000 [ Coughing, wheezing ] 460 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,170 ♪♪ 461 00:19:35,170 --> 00:19:37,380 [ Oxygen hisses ] 462 00:19:37,380 --> 00:19:41,170 I came home, Meredith. For you. 463 00:19:41,170 --> 00:19:47,830 ♪♪ 464 00:19:47,830 --> 00:19:49,620 [ The Talking Heads' "This Must Be the Place" plays ] 465 00:19:49,620 --> 00:19:53,210 ♪ And you're standing here beside me ♪ 466 00:19:53,210 --> 00:19:55,420 This microscope is a game changer. 467 00:19:55,420 --> 00:19:56,540 I know. I feel like I could just walk into the screen 468 00:19:56,540 --> 00:19:59,380 and surf on the spinal cord. 469 00:19:59,380 --> 00:20:02,290 ♪ Never for money, always for love ♪ 470 00:20:02,290 --> 00:20:05,880 ♪ Cover up and say goodnight ♪ 471 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:07,460 ♪ Say goodnight ♪ 472 00:20:07,460 --> 00:20:09,290 All right... 473 00:20:09,290 --> 00:20:13,380 it looks like we are clear to remove the tumor en bloc. 474 00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:14,960 [ Music continues ] 475 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,460 Except -- hang on. 476 00:20:16,460 --> 00:20:18,710 ♪♪ 477 00:20:18,710 --> 00:20:20,210 I can't get it free. 478 00:20:20,210 --> 00:20:21,790 Okay, then. Time to suck and pluck. 479 00:20:21,790 --> 00:20:23,210 I'm sorry, what? The tumor's like a grape. 480 00:20:23,210 --> 00:20:24,710 You suck out the inside, then you pluck out the skin. 481 00:20:24,710 --> 00:20:26,380 Suck and pluck. 482 00:20:26,380 --> 00:20:27,880 Could you call it something else? Like what? 483 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:30,620 Literally anything else. 484 00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:32,250 [ Humming ] 485 00:20:32,250 --> 00:20:34,420 Jackson: [ Scoffs ] I hate this dude. 486 00:20:34,420 --> 00:20:36,420 -Jackson, sit. -No, I hate him. For real. 487 00:20:36,420 --> 00:20:37,580 I want to jump through this glass 488 00:20:37,580 --> 00:20:38,960 and just, like, choke him out. 489 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:39,960 He is bopping. 490 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,080 He's bopping over my mom's spine. 491 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:43,920 I mean, who does that? Maybe you should take a walk. 492 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:45,830 I'm gonna take a walk now. 493 00:20:45,830 --> 00:20:49,420 [ Humming ] 494 00:20:49,420 --> 00:20:53,080 Richard, this can't be good for you either. 495 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,920 The first year or so Catherine and I were together, 496 00:20:57,920 --> 00:21:00,080 we figured out how to make the long distance work 497 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,330 because we'd promise to show up 498 00:21:02,330 --> 00:21:04,830 whenever we needed, however we needed. 499 00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:06,790 It's what you do for the people you love. 500 00:21:06,790 --> 00:21:09,790 She may fuss, 501 00:21:09,790 --> 00:21:13,620 but I don't need to ask her where she wants me to be. 502 00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:15,460 I'm already here. 503 00:21:15,460 --> 00:21:17,460 ♪ Make it up as we go along ♪ 504 00:21:17,460 --> 00:21:19,210 Are you okay if I -- 505 00:21:19,210 --> 00:21:20,960 It's fine. Go. 506 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:22,790 ♪ Head in the sky ♪ 507 00:21:22,790 --> 00:21:26,210 ♪ It's okay, I know nothing's wrong ♪ 508 00:21:26,210 --> 00:21:29,620 ♪ Nothing's wrong, oh ♪ 509 00:21:29,620 --> 00:21:31,620 ♪ I got plenty of time ♪ 510 00:21:31,620 --> 00:21:34,540 You gonna lecture me, too, on how I shouldn't be here? 511 00:21:34,540 --> 00:21:35,960 You shouldn't be. 512 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,830 ♪ Oh, you got light in your eyes ♪ 513 00:21:37,830 --> 00:21:40,210 But that's not my call. 514 00:21:40,210 --> 00:21:43,170 It's not decompressing. What do you mean it's not decompressing? 515 00:21:43,170 --> 00:21:44,540 It's too dense, like it's made of -- 516 00:21:44,540 --> 00:21:46,120 I don't know what -- cartilage, 517 00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:49,290 small chips of hard calcifications. 518 00:21:49,290 --> 00:21:50,790 Damn it. I can't get it either. 519 00:21:50,790 --> 00:21:52,040 Kill the music. 520 00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:54,170 [ Music stops ] 521 00:21:56,170 --> 00:21:58,170 We need to go in from the front. 522 00:21:58,170 --> 00:22:00,670 Her spine is open. 523 00:22:00,670 --> 00:22:01,880 It's all exposed. 524 00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:03,330 If we move her, 525 00:22:03,330 --> 00:22:05,420 we risk losing function in her forearm and hand. 526 00:22:05,420 --> 00:22:06,580 It's the only way. 527 00:22:06,580 --> 00:22:10,000 Okay, well, let me ask you one question first -- 528 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:11,880 Are you insane? We close up the incision. 529 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,330 We flip her onto her side. I go in from the front. 530 00:22:13,330 --> 00:22:14,500 We meet in the middle to decompress 531 00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:15,500 and unearth this thing. 532 00:22:15,500 --> 00:22:17,040 So the answer is yes, you are insane. 533 00:22:17,040 --> 00:22:18,540 We'll get a few more people in here, we can flip her. 534 00:22:18,540 --> 00:22:20,380 And keep her still and not sever her spine? 535 00:22:20,380 --> 00:22:22,170 Not to mention having to break scrub, 536 00:22:22,170 --> 00:22:24,000 re-drape, rescrub -- Cow-tipping in Kansas! 537 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:25,170 Dozens of sexless men! 538 00:22:25,170 --> 00:22:27,000 If it were you again on the table, 539 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,670 what would you want? 540 00:22:28,670 --> 00:22:33,210 ♪♪ 541 00:22:33,210 --> 00:22:34,500 [ Exhales sharply ] 542 00:22:34,500 --> 00:22:37,120 ♪♪ 543 00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:38,620 For the record, I do not like you. 544 00:22:38,620 --> 00:22:42,790 ♪♪ 545 00:22:42,790 --> 00:22:44,210 Shut down the gallery. 546 00:22:44,210 --> 00:22:47,250 ♪♪ 547 00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:57,540 [ Indistinct talking over P.A. ] 548 00:22:57,540 --> 00:22:59,210 There you are. 549 00:23:02,710 --> 00:23:04,710 [ Exhales sharply ] 550 00:23:08,620 --> 00:23:12,420 Mom's always been larger than life, you know? 551 00:23:12,420 --> 00:23:16,040 Laughs harder, yells louder than anyone. 552 00:23:16,040 --> 00:23:18,000 She's the life of the party. 553 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:19,420 Even if it's my birthday party 554 00:23:19,420 --> 00:23:21,000 and she's taking over the dance floor. 555 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,830 [ Laughs ] [ Sighs ] 556 00:23:22,830 --> 00:23:24,250 Sounds amazing. 557 00:23:24,250 --> 00:23:25,620 I was 16. It was mortifying. 558 00:23:25,620 --> 00:23:27,420 [ Laughs ] 559 00:23:27,420 --> 00:23:30,580 [ Sighs ] She'd always do that. 560 00:23:30,580 --> 00:23:32,000 She always inserted herself 561 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,420 in every single aspect of my life, you know, 562 00:23:34,420 --> 00:23:35,790 whether I wanted her to or not -- 563 00:23:35,790 --> 00:23:39,080 Hell, whether I even knew about it or not. 564 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:40,500 [ Exhales sharply ] 565 00:23:40,500 --> 00:23:42,080 And, um... 566 00:23:45,790 --> 00:23:49,620 Now I can't, uh... 567 00:23:49,620 --> 00:23:54,080 I can't imagine what a room would even feel like 568 00:23:54,080 --> 00:23:59,460 without her in it taking up all that space. 569 00:23:59,460 --> 00:24:05,290 It was different... losing Samuel. 570 00:24:10,120 --> 00:24:13,880 [ Voice breaking ] That was more like -- 571 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:15,830 like my world collapsing around me, you know? 572 00:24:15,830 --> 00:24:17,670 And this, I just... 573 00:24:20,540 --> 00:24:24,790 I feel like... a scared little kid. 574 00:24:28,380 --> 00:24:33,170 [ Voice breaking ] Like nothing is safe. 575 00:24:33,170 --> 00:24:34,620 Like the world's upside down 576 00:24:34,620 --> 00:24:36,380 and nothing makes any sense anymore. 577 00:24:36,380 --> 00:24:38,830 Yeah. Yeah. 578 00:24:38,830 --> 00:24:41,420 [ Crying ] I don't like it. I know. 579 00:24:41,420 --> 00:24:45,580 I don't like it. [ Crying ] I know. I know. 580 00:24:45,580 --> 00:24:48,580 [ The Rescues' "Hold On" plays ] 581 00:24:48,580 --> 00:24:51,380 ♪ Hold on ♪ 582 00:24:51,380 --> 00:24:55,380 ♪ Hold on to yourself ♪ 583 00:24:55,380 --> 00:25:01,250 ♪ For this is gonna hurt like hell ♪ 584 00:25:01,250 --> 00:25:04,500 ♪♪ 585 00:25:04,500 --> 00:25:07,250 Koracick: Okay. Let's rock and roll. 586 00:25:07,250 --> 00:25:11,540 On my count, one, two, three. 587 00:25:11,540 --> 00:25:14,710 ♪♪ 588 00:25:14,710 --> 00:25:17,250 Good, good, good. Easy. 589 00:25:17,250 --> 00:25:19,830 ♪♪ 590 00:25:19,830 --> 00:25:23,790 ♪ So now you're sleeping peaceful ♪ 591 00:25:23,790 --> 00:25:27,540 ♪ I lie awake and pray ♪ 592 00:25:27,540 --> 00:25:29,710 ♪ That you'll be strong tomorrow ♪ 593 00:25:29,710 --> 00:25:31,250 Let's secure her hips. 594 00:25:31,250 --> 00:25:34,250 ♪ And will see another day ♪ 595 00:25:34,250 --> 00:25:37,880 ♪ And we will praise it ♪ 596 00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:39,540 She's good. 597 00:25:39,540 --> 00:25:42,380 ♪ And love the light that brings a smile ♪ 598 00:25:42,380 --> 00:25:45,210 Okay, they did it. She's okay. 599 00:25:45,210 --> 00:25:46,290 ♪ Across your face ♪ 600 00:25:46,290 --> 00:25:51,880 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, hold on ♪ 601 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:54,540 ♪ Oh, God ♪ 602 00:25:54,540 --> 00:25:58,710 ♪ If you're out there, won't you hear me? ♪ 603 00:25:58,710 --> 00:26:02,380 ♪ I know that we have never talked before ♪ 604 00:26:02,380 --> 00:26:04,420 ♪ I know that we have never ♪ 605 00:26:04,420 --> 00:26:05,580 You ready, Bokie? 606 00:26:05,580 --> 00:26:07,580 ♪ Talked before ♪ 607 00:26:07,580 --> 00:26:08,920 ♪ Oh, God ♪ 608 00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:10,580 Amelia: Okay. Deep breath, everybody. 609 00:26:10,580 --> 00:26:11,750 ♪ The one I love ♪ Scalpel. 610 00:26:11,750 --> 00:26:13,960 ♪ Is leaving ♪ 611 00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:21,960 ♪ Don't you take her when she comes to your door ♪ 612 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:26,000 ♪♪ 613 00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:27,670 Amelia: Dr. Koracick? 614 00:26:27,670 --> 00:26:30,460 ♪♪ 615 00:26:30,460 --> 00:26:31,330 Tom. 616 00:26:33,250 --> 00:26:34,620 I think I'm gonna have trouble 617 00:26:34,620 --> 00:26:37,080 getting around the C7 facet 618 00:26:37,080 --> 00:26:40,000 while keeping the tumor retracted from this angle. 619 00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:41,330 Maybe you could give it a try? 620 00:26:41,330 --> 00:26:44,830 ♪ And love the light that brings a smile ♪ 621 00:26:44,830 --> 00:26:47,790 Please, I could do that in my sleep. 622 00:26:47,790 --> 00:26:48,790 ♪ Across your face ♪ Show off. 623 00:26:48,790 --> 00:26:52,620 ♪ Hold on ♪ 624 00:26:52,620 --> 00:26:56,290 ♪ Hold on to yourself ♪ 625 00:26:56,290 --> 00:26:59,830 ♪ For this is gonna hurt like hell ♪ 626 00:26:59,830 --> 00:27:01,500 -Scalpel. -Scalpel. 627 00:27:01,500 --> 00:27:04,290 ♪ Hell ♪ 628 00:27:04,290 --> 00:27:06,710 ♪♪ 629 00:27:06,710 --> 00:27:08,790 [ Monitors beeping ] 630 00:27:08,790 --> 00:27:13,120 ♪♪ 631 00:27:13,120 --> 00:27:16,120 [ Whirring ] 632 00:27:16,120 --> 00:27:18,460 Is that when you and Richard started talking? 633 00:27:18,460 --> 00:27:19,830 After the funeral? 634 00:27:19,830 --> 00:27:21,620 [ Breathing heavily ] 635 00:27:25,210 --> 00:27:27,670 I tried calling you. 636 00:27:27,670 --> 00:27:29,210 You never called back. 637 00:27:29,210 --> 00:27:30,420 And I worried. 638 00:27:30,420 --> 00:27:34,040 At first, I was just checking in on you. 639 00:27:35,540 --> 00:27:39,170 Mm, Richard and I started... [ Sniffs ] 640 00:27:39,170 --> 00:27:41,170 ...talking about a lot of things. 641 00:27:41,170 --> 00:27:44,540 We both had amends to make. 642 00:27:44,540 --> 00:27:46,330 There are so many things 643 00:27:46,330 --> 00:27:50,040 I could say I'm sorry for, Meredith. 644 00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:54,330 But all I really want to say is thank you. 645 00:27:54,330 --> 00:27:56,710 Thank you for what? 646 00:27:56,710 --> 00:27:58,330 [ Exhales sharply ] 647 00:27:58,330 --> 00:28:03,420 For so long, I measured my life 648 00:28:03,420 --> 00:28:08,750 in the things done to me, taken from me. 649 00:28:08,750 --> 00:28:14,580 Now I can see my life for exactly what it is. 650 00:28:14,580 --> 00:28:17,040 Some people have more pain than others. 651 00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:20,380 But no one, nothing, was conspiring against me. 652 00:28:20,380 --> 00:28:24,210 When you gave me a piece of your liver, 653 00:28:24,210 --> 00:28:29,210 you gave me time, precious time. 654 00:28:29,210 --> 00:28:32,580 Time to get your head out of your own ass? 655 00:28:32,580 --> 00:28:35,540 [ Laughs ] 656 00:28:35,540 --> 00:28:40,210 [ Inhales deeply ] 657 00:28:40,210 --> 00:28:41,880 [ Coughs ] 658 00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:44,880 Y-- Y-- You could say that. 659 00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:51,290 I had a life, Meredith, 'cause of you. 660 00:28:51,290 --> 00:28:58,120 My own real, honest, painful, incredible life. 661 00:28:58,120 --> 00:29:03,420 I just wish you and I could have shared it. 662 00:29:03,420 --> 00:29:07,750 Well, I guess you did try this time. 663 00:29:07,750 --> 00:29:09,420 I just didn't know. 664 00:29:09,420 --> 00:29:11,750 [ Laughs ] 665 00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:13,580 I miss Lexie. 666 00:29:13,580 --> 00:29:14,960 [ Laughs ] 667 00:29:14,960 --> 00:29:16,670 I miss her so much. 668 00:29:16,670 --> 00:29:20,460 Me too. 669 00:29:20,460 --> 00:29:23,920 I'm sorry you lost her. [ Exhales sharply ] 670 00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:28,120 I know how much it -- it meant to you, having a sister. 671 00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:32,250 I have another sister. 672 00:29:32,250 --> 00:29:36,620 But you and Molly, you were never close. 673 00:29:36,620 --> 00:29:40,000 ♪♪ 674 00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:41,880 Her name is Maggie. 675 00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:44,500 Oh... 676 00:29:44,500 --> 00:29:47,000 She's brilliant. And kind. 677 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:51,210 She's the best of Ellis and Richard. 678 00:29:51,210 --> 00:29:56,120 Your -- Your mother and Richard had a baby. 679 00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:58,380 [ Breathes deeply ] 680 00:29:58,380 --> 00:30:02,000 ♪♪ 681 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:05,460 At least something good came from all that. 682 00:30:05,460 --> 00:30:07,460 ♪♪ 683 00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:16,580 [ Groans ] I'm gonna get a humpback operating with you. 684 00:30:16,580 --> 00:30:17,830 Amelia: I'm already standing on a step stool. 685 00:30:17,830 --> 00:30:18,540 what more do you want from me? 686 00:30:18,540 --> 00:30:20,040 Heels? 687 00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:22,880 Okay, it looks like the tumor 688 00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:24,080 is free of the brachial plexus. 689 00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:25,250 Should we try to pull it out? 690 00:30:25,250 --> 00:30:26,420 Let's do it. 691 00:30:26,420 --> 00:30:27,880 [ Beep ] 692 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:29,080 EP Doc: We've lost all the signal from one arm. 693 00:30:29,080 --> 00:30:31,380 The tumor is moving pretty easily. 694 00:30:31,380 --> 00:30:32,710 Check your machine. Could be artifact. 695 00:30:32,710 --> 00:30:35,330 No, there's still a little tension from my side. 696 00:30:35,330 --> 00:30:37,920 I -- I think it's coming from the root. 697 00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,250 Which means there's no way to remove this without... 698 00:30:40,250 --> 00:30:41,670 Risking paralysis. 699 00:30:41,670 --> 00:30:43,540 ♪♪ 700 00:30:43,540 --> 00:30:44,830 [ Sighs ] 701 00:30:44,830 --> 00:30:45,920 If they can't remove the whole tumor, 702 00:30:45,920 --> 00:30:47,500 they're gonna have to do it piecemeal. 703 00:30:47,500 --> 00:30:49,080 Bailey: But then they risk 704 00:30:49,080 --> 00:30:50,880 leaving some of the tumor behind. 705 00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:55,670 ♪♪ 706 00:30:55,670 --> 00:30:57,460 What? 707 00:30:57,460 --> 00:31:02,380 ♪♪ 708 00:31:02,380 --> 00:31:03,710 My path pen. 709 00:31:03,710 --> 00:31:05,460 Remove the tumor piecemeal, 710 00:31:05,460 --> 00:31:07,460 and then use the pen to see if you got it all. 711 00:31:07,460 --> 00:31:09,710 Okay, it hasn't cleared FDA process yet, 712 00:31:09,710 --> 00:31:12,920 and it isn't on the market, but I'm telling you, it works. 713 00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:16,710 ♪♪ 714 00:31:16,710 --> 00:31:19,080 Koracick: I really have always liked you, Richard. 715 00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:21,290 No, you haven't. 716 00:31:21,290 --> 00:31:23,380 Amelia: Yes. Get it. 717 00:31:23,380 --> 00:31:28,380 ♪♪ 718 00:31:28,380 --> 00:31:29,920 [ Door closes ] 719 00:31:29,920 --> 00:31:31,210 Meredith: [ Laughs ] 720 00:31:31,210 --> 00:31:33,210 And that twitch over her right eye 721 00:31:33,210 --> 00:31:34,750 when you switched the ice maker 722 00:31:34,750 --> 00:31:35,960 from cubed to crushed. 723 00:31:35,960 --> 00:31:37,790 "What kind of a monster crushes ice? 724 00:31:37,790 --> 00:31:39,080 It's uncivilized." 725 00:31:39,080 --> 00:31:41,790 Crushed ice was uncivilized. 726 00:31:41,790 --> 00:31:43,420 Taking my last cup of coffee... 727 00:31:43,420 --> 00:31:45,120 uncivilized. Uncivilized. 728 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:47,960 Getting an A- in Chem Lab. 729 00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:49,750 Uncivilized. Uncivilized. 730 00:31:49,750 --> 00:31:51,750 [ Laughs ] She was... 731 00:31:51,750 --> 00:31:52,920 Kind of a tyrant. 732 00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:54,080 But brilliant. 733 00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:56,420 Oh, I can't argue with that. 734 00:31:56,420 --> 00:31:57,790 [ Laughs ] Terrible driver. 735 00:31:57,790 --> 00:32:00,420 Can't argue with that. 736 00:32:00,420 --> 00:32:03,120 But she was extraordinary. 737 00:32:03,120 --> 00:32:06,750 Yeah. Oh. 738 00:32:06,750 --> 00:32:08,920 Do you regret marrying her? 739 00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:10,920 [ Breathing heavily ] 740 00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:13,920 The entire time she was pregnant with you, 741 00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:16,080 she pretended she wasn't. 742 00:32:16,080 --> 00:32:19,620 I don't know if it was stubbornness or denial. 743 00:32:19,620 --> 00:32:21,460 Maybe both. 744 00:32:21,460 --> 00:32:25,290 Nine months, she had to do everything herself. 745 00:32:25,290 --> 00:32:27,710 And I had to let her. 746 00:32:27,710 --> 00:32:30,500 The night she went into labor, she came home after surgery, 747 00:32:30,500 --> 00:32:35,670 and she just stood in the doorway, wide-eyed. 748 00:32:35,670 --> 00:32:39,040 "We're having a baby, Thatch. 749 00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:43,380 We're having a baby." [ Laughs ] 750 00:32:43,380 --> 00:32:46,790 [ Breathes deeply ] 751 00:32:46,790 --> 00:32:50,000 As if the idea just hit her, right there. 752 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:53,000 She -- She started to laugh. She couldn't stop laughing. 753 00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:56,620 Laughed all the way to the hospital. 754 00:32:56,620 --> 00:32:59,620 I never heard her laugh like that, 755 00:32:59,620 --> 00:33:03,500 so big, so free. 756 00:33:03,500 --> 00:33:05,750 ♪♪ 757 00:33:05,750 --> 00:33:09,330 And I just thought, "Wow. 758 00:33:09,330 --> 00:33:13,500 What a way for you to come into the world." 759 00:33:13,500 --> 00:33:17,250 We weren't perfect. 760 00:33:17,250 --> 00:33:20,420 We weren't even happy a lot of the time. 761 00:33:20,420 --> 00:33:24,000 But I'd marry her all over again 762 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:28,330 for that night, that laugh. 763 00:33:28,330 --> 00:33:30,210 And you. 764 00:33:30,210 --> 00:33:33,330 And this. 765 00:33:33,330 --> 00:33:38,500 I'd do it all again for this. 766 00:33:38,500 --> 00:33:45,080 ♪♪ 767 00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:46,920 [ Buzzer ] 768 00:33:46,920 --> 00:33:48,120 Koracick: How can there still be cancer there? 769 00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:49,380 We've been at this for hours. 770 00:33:49,380 --> 00:33:50,880 It's still lighting up like Christmas. 771 00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:53,290 Let's just keep going. 772 00:33:53,290 --> 00:33:55,710 We'll hit clear tissue eventually. 773 00:33:55,710 --> 00:33:57,880 [ Buzzer ] 774 00:33:57,880 --> 00:33:59,040 [ Beep ] EP Doc: Signal's fading again. 775 00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:00,540 She's losing function in her arms. 776 00:34:00,540 --> 00:34:02,710 We've barely touched anything. Amelia: Breathe. 777 00:34:02,710 --> 00:34:05,540 We are going in the right direction. 778 00:34:05,540 --> 00:34:06,710 Losing the signal in her other arm -- 779 00:34:06,710 --> 00:34:08,880 Okay, stop it! We know! If we keep going, 780 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:10,460 we cost Catherine her motor function, 781 00:34:10,460 --> 00:34:12,540 her career, her life as she knows it -- we know! 782 00:34:12,540 --> 00:34:17,750 ♪♪ 783 00:34:17,750 --> 00:34:23,210 ♪♪ 784 00:34:23,210 --> 00:34:25,000 Meredith... 785 00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:26,960 Okay, don't try to speak. 786 00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:29,790 But...the closet. 787 00:34:29,790 --> 00:34:31,000 I left something... 788 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:34,290 I don't need anything. 789 00:34:34,290 --> 00:34:36,750 ...for your kids. 790 00:34:36,750 --> 00:34:38,750 [ Breathing heavily ] 791 00:34:38,750 --> 00:34:41,080 I wish... 792 00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,830 I wish I knew them. 793 00:34:43,830 --> 00:34:47,580 I thought of -- I thought of them. 794 00:34:47,580 --> 00:34:50,750 [ Exhales sharply ] 795 00:34:50,750 --> 00:34:52,620 Ahh. 796 00:34:52,620 --> 00:34:56,750 Your hands are so cold. 797 00:34:56,750 --> 00:34:57,670 Sorry, I can -- 798 00:34:57,670 --> 00:35:01,170 No, no, no. 799 00:35:01,170 --> 00:35:02,830 Oh, it feels good. 800 00:35:02,830 --> 00:35:09,120 ♪♪ 801 00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:14,290 Zola is so smart and so strong. 802 00:35:14,290 --> 00:35:17,380 Yeah? And she keeps me on my toes 803 00:35:17,380 --> 00:35:19,880 every minute of every day. 804 00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:24,120 And Bailey says "funny" before every sentence. 805 00:35:24,120 --> 00:35:26,710 "Funny, I'd like an apple. 806 00:35:26,710 --> 00:35:28,880 Funny, I need pajamas." 807 00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:32,120 It's so cute. 808 00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:36,460 And Ellis... she is brave. 809 00:35:36,460 --> 00:35:39,960 And she's obsessed with hip-hop. 810 00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:45,830 They are exhausting... and amazing. 811 00:35:45,830 --> 00:35:48,330 ♪♪ 812 00:35:48,330 --> 00:35:52,170 I wish you knew them, too. 813 00:35:52,170 --> 00:35:55,580 Because they are so, so beautiful. 814 00:35:55,580 --> 00:36:00,170 [ Exhales deeply ] 815 00:36:00,170 --> 00:36:06,830 ♪♪ 816 00:36:06,830 --> 00:36:10,500 [ Exhales heavily ] 817 00:36:10,500 --> 00:36:17,000 ♪♪ 818 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:23,710 ♪♪ 819 00:36:23,710 --> 00:36:25,250 [ Sighs heavily ] 820 00:36:33,540 --> 00:36:35,380 [ Monitors beeping ] 821 00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:42,040 How... 822 00:36:43,710 --> 00:36:45,710 Easy. Easy, Mom. 823 00:36:45,710 --> 00:36:48,540 Catherine: How -- How -- Easy, easy, easy, easy. 824 00:36:48,540 --> 00:36:49,880 Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 825 00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:52,040 Hey. 826 00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:54,080 -Mm-hmm. -Uh-huh. -I feel that. 827 00:36:54,080 --> 00:36:57,380 Okay. Hold on, hold on. 828 00:36:57,380 --> 00:37:01,120 All right. Well, your reflexes are normal. 829 00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:05,250 My hands and feet move. Whoo. 830 00:37:05,250 --> 00:37:08,580 I'm not dead? With that tumor? 831 00:37:08,580 --> 00:37:10,540 No, you're most definitely not dead. 832 00:37:10,540 --> 00:37:12,500 Oh, I thought for sure they were gonna kill me. 833 00:37:16,620 --> 00:37:21,250 What? 834 00:37:21,250 --> 00:37:23,080 Tell me. 835 00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:26,290 Catherine, when we went in to get the tumor, 836 00:37:26,290 --> 00:37:28,960 it was adherent to your brachial plexus. 837 00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:32,250 Koracick: We were able to remove about 95% of it, 838 00:37:32,250 --> 00:37:35,580 but we had to leave one nodule behind. 839 00:37:35,580 --> 00:37:40,420 So...radiation? Chemo? 840 00:37:42,750 --> 00:37:45,460 They've had some success with proton beam therapy. 841 00:37:45,460 --> 00:37:47,420 Some? 842 00:37:47,420 --> 00:37:51,960 It's likely, even with treatment... 843 00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:54,000 I'll have to live with this cancer 844 00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,120 the rest of my life. 845 00:37:56,120 --> 00:38:00,670 I was sure you'd get it all or kill me trying. 846 00:38:00,670 --> 00:38:02,670 So did we. 847 00:38:02,670 --> 00:38:05,120 Catherine, I'm so sorry. 848 00:38:06,500 --> 00:38:09,330 Sorry? I'm alive. 849 00:38:09,330 --> 00:38:13,120 I can live with this for many years. 850 00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:17,290 People live with cancer. We've all seen it happen. 851 00:38:17,290 --> 00:38:18,830 You're gonna have to get, uh, scans every three months 852 00:38:18,830 --> 00:38:21,120 to make sure the tumor doesn't, uh, grow. 853 00:38:21,120 --> 00:38:22,790 And in between, I'll operate. 854 00:38:22,790 --> 00:38:25,210 Mm. And I'll hug my son. 855 00:38:25,210 --> 00:38:27,000 Mm. 856 00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:29,460 Make love to my husband. 857 00:38:29,460 --> 00:38:30,670 Okay... 858 00:38:30,670 --> 00:38:34,620 Chase my Harriet, make mistakes, 859 00:38:34,620 --> 00:38:37,330 and fight about who gets to pick the movie on date night. 860 00:38:37,330 --> 00:38:39,000 [ Chuckles ] 861 00:38:41,670 --> 00:38:44,040 You two have given me my life back. 862 00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:46,000 [ Chuckles ] 863 00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:47,670 Now what? 864 00:38:47,670 --> 00:38:48,920 'Cause we didn't plan on this. 865 00:38:48,920 --> 00:38:50,750 [ Laughs ] 866 00:38:50,750 --> 00:38:53,040 These two pulled off a miracle. 867 00:38:53,040 --> 00:38:56,710 Miracles aren't always punctuation marks. 868 00:38:56,710 --> 00:38:58,710 But they are worth celebrating. 869 00:38:58,710 --> 00:39:01,170 So we are gonna have that party. 870 00:39:01,170 --> 00:39:04,210 We just might have to wait a couple of months 871 00:39:04,210 --> 00:39:05,920 so I can get on the dance floor. 872 00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:07,580 [ Laughs ] [ Chuckles ] 873 00:39:07,580 --> 00:39:10,500 I love you. 874 00:39:10,500 --> 00:39:11,670 ♪♪ 875 00:39:11,670 --> 00:39:13,830 [ Both laugh ] 876 00:39:13,830 --> 00:39:15,040 [ Smooches ] 877 00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:16,000 [ Elevator bell dings ] 878 00:39:21,710 --> 00:39:24,460 [ Telephone rings ] 879 00:39:24,460 --> 00:39:28,290 [ Indistinct talking over P.A. ] 880 00:39:28,290 --> 00:39:30,620 Teddy: Hey. I heard about the surgery. 881 00:39:30,620 --> 00:39:31,790 Congratulations. 882 00:39:31,790 --> 00:39:33,080 Oh. I know, I know. 883 00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:34,290 You knew I had it in me all along. 884 00:39:34,290 --> 00:39:35,880 Honestly? I was on the fence. 885 00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:39,880 [ Laughs ] 886 00:39:39,880 --> 00:39:42,460 You should be really proud. 887 00:39:42,460 --> 00:39:44,960 There are not a lot of surgeons who could do that. 888 00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:46,580 Which part? 889 00:39:46,580 --> 00:39:48,040 Where I flipped my friend like a pancake 890 00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:49,960 or failed to leave her cancer free? 891 00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:51,920 The part where you saved her life 892 00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:53,540 and her surgical career. 893 00:39:56,250 --> 00:39:58,290 Yeah, that part wasn't half bad. 894 00:40:00,750 --> 00:40:03,080 You should celebrate. 895 00:40:03,080 --> 00:40:04,750 Why don't you get cleaned up? 896 00:40:04,750 --> 00:40:06,120 I'll meet you at Joe's, and I'll buy you a drink. 897 00:40:06,120 --> 00:40:08,290 Uh...w-- Can we take a rain check? 898 00:40:08,290 --> 00:40:10,830 I...I'm wiped. And I-I smell bad. 899 00:40:10,830 --> 00:40:15,420 And when you spend money on me, I want to smell good. 900 00:40:15,420 --> 00:40:17,420 [ Elevator bell dings ] Yeah. Okay. 901 00:40:17,420 --> 00:40:18,580 Night. 902 00:40:18,580 --> 00:40:20,580 Goodnight. 903 00:40:20,580 --> 00:40:25,750 ♪ Red lights are flashing on the highway ♪ 904 00:40:25,750 --> 00:40:27,750 Meredith: When it comes to medicine, 905 00:40:27,750 --> 00:40:31,120 who's to say what is winning or losing? 906 00:40:31,120 --> 00:40:34,120 ♪ I wonder if we're gonna ever get home tonight ♪ 907 00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:35,750 There's just as much value in trying again 908 00:40:35,750 --> 00:40:39,120 as there is in letting go... 909 00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:43,000 ♪ But if you break down ♪ Koracick: I saved my friend today, David. 910 00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,460 ♪ I'll drive out and find you ♪ 911 00:40:45,460 --> 00:40:48,620 I didn't think I-I could, and it wasn't perfect. 912 00:40:48,620 --> 00:40:51,170 ♪ If you forget my love ♪ [ Laughs ] 913 00:40:51,170 --> 00:40:53,620 Your dad was kind of a badass. 914 00:40:53,620 --> 00:40:55,830 ♪ I'll try to remind you ♪ 915 00:40:55,830 --> 00:40:59,380 ...letting go of suffering, regret, pain, fear. 916 00:40:59,380 --> 00:41:03,290 ♪ And stay by you ♪ 917 00:41:03,290 --> 00:41:08,120 ♪ When it don't come easy ♪ 918 00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:11,790 ♪ When it don't come easy ♪ 919 00:41:11,790 --> 00:41:19,620 ♪♪ 920 00:41:19,620 --> 00:41:20,540 ♪ I don't know nothing except change will come ♪ 921 00:41:20,540 --> 00:41:27,210 I operated on a freaking legend's spine today. 922 00:41:27,210 --> 00:41:29,420 And it was terrifying. [ Chuckles ] 923 00:41:29,420 --> 00:41:32,210 And exhilarating. 924 00:41:32,210 --> 00:41:34,830 And imperfect. 925 00:41:34,830 --> 00:41:37,210 ♪ I wonder if we're gonna ever get home ♪ 926 00:41:37,210 --> 00:41:40,670 Mostly terrifying. [ Chuckles ] 927 00:41:40,670 --> 00:41:42,250 Because she's not just a legend. 928 00:41:42,250 --> 00:41:45,420 She matters so much to so many people that I love... 929 00:41:45,420 --> 00:41:47,500 ♪ And all of the signs got blown away ♪ 930 00:41:47,500 --> 00:41:50,040 ♪ Sometimes you wonder if you're walking in the wrong direction ♪ 931 00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:51,830 Most of my life, I have been chasing 932 00:41:51,830 --> 00:41:56,670 the kind of high that I feel right now. 933 00:41:56,670 --> 00:41:59,380 ♪ But if you break down ♪ [ Sniffles ] 934 00:41:59,380 --> 00:42:02,670 I gave a surgeon back her hands today. 935 00:42:02,670 --> 00:42:07,460 I gave a husband his wife, a son his mother. 936 00:42:07,460 --> 00:42:11,120 [ Sighs ] 937 00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:13,880 And I am so incredibly grateful to be sober... 938 00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:16,120 [ Exhales sharply ] 939 00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:18,120 ...to be present enough to have felt 940 00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:23,710 every terrifying, exhilarating, 941 00:42:23,710 --> 00:42:26,120 imperfect moment. 942 00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:28,710 ♪ When it don't come easy ♪ 943 00:42:28,710 --> 00:42:30,540 Instead of saying someone we love 944 00:42:30,540 --> 00:42:36,120 is battling, beating, fighting, winning, or losing, 945 00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:37,540 why don't we just tell the truth. 946 00:42:37,540 --> 00:42:39,210 ♪ So many things that I had before ♪ 947 00:42:39,210 --> 00:42:41,460 Meredith: There you go, sweethearts. 948 00:42:41,460 --> 00:42:43,460 ♪ That don't matter to me now ♪ 949 00:42:43,460 --> 00:42:45,500 We get sick. We take our medicine... 950 00:42:45,500 --> 00:42:47,290 ♪♪ 951 00:42:47,290 --> 00:42:49,920 Zola: Wow. So cool. 952 00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:51,920 Where did you get it, Mommy? 953 00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:54,500 Uh, your grandfather, Thatcher. 954 00:42:54,500 --> 00:42:57,330 He wanted you to have it, and he wanted you to know 955 00:42:57,330 --> 00:42:58,920 that he cared about you very much... 956 00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:00,580 Funny, I love it. 957 00:43:00,580 --> 00:43:03,790 ...some of us live, some die. 958 00:43:03,790 --> 00:43:06,750 Mommy, are you okay? 959 00:43:06,750 --> 00:43:12,750 ♪ When it don't come easy ♪ Yes, Zo-Zo. I will be fine. 960 00:43:12,750 --> 00:43:16,330 ♪ When it don't come easy ♪ 961 00:43:16,330 --> 00:43:18,460 ♪♪ 962 00:43:26,580 --> 00:43:34,790 ♪♪ 963 00:43:34,790 --> 00:43:43,290 ♪♪ 964 00:43:43,290 --> 00:43:51,500 ♪♪