["Wade In The Water" playing]
[Meredith] According to Elisabeth Kübler-Ross,
when we are dying or have suffered a catastrophic loss,
we all move through five distinct stages of grief.
We go into denial.
[Richard] Push another amp...
[Meredith] Because the loss is so unthinkable we can't imagine it's true.
- [monitor beepping] - [Richard] Clear!
[Meredith] We become angry with everyone,
angry with survivors, angry with ourselves, then we bargain.
[Derek] Damn, O'Malley, come on. Live, just live.
[Derek] His ICP's 30.
[Owen] Push 70 of Mannitol, start bagging.
[Derek] ...his brainstem.
[Meredith] We beg, we plead. We offer everything we have.
We offer up our souls, in exchange for just one more day.
[monitor resumes beeping]
[Richard] Stevens! Can you hear me?
Look at me, Stevens.
Damn it.
[sighs]
[Meredith] When the bargaining has failed,
and the anger is too hard to maintain,
we fall into depression, despair,
until finally we have to accept that we have done everything we can.
We let go.
We let go and move into acceptance.
Anybody know if he's a donor?
[Callie gasping]
Oh, God!
[Alex] Whoa, whoa. She wants it out. Can we take it out?
She's breathing over the vent.
[Richard] All right, let's pull out the tube.
[Meredith] Dr. Bailey.
[gasping]
[Owen] Slow down. It's OK, slow down.
[Callie breathing slowly]
[Derek] His ICP went through the roof. We did everything.
Everything.
[Owen] Chief, his organs are viable for now, but it won't be long
until he's acidotic and hypothermic.
Is he a donor?
[Richard] Um... I don't know.
I called his mother. She's on her way.
Let's close him up and get him to the ICU in case she wants to see him.
- Who's George? - What?
John Doe, the guy who threw me out of the way of the bus,
the guy who saved my life.
Everyone's crying and they keep saying, "John Doe is George." Who's George?
- You can't tell her. - Alex.
She coded in my arms. Out of nowhere, she died.
Just... I'll tell her.
I'll tell her when she gets stronger.
[Izzie] Alex.
You OK?
I had... a dream.
- He was in his uniform. - What?
George is gonna die in the Army if we don't stop him.
Hand me my phone. I need my phone.
[somber music playing]
Who said that was George? Why do we think that's George?
Meredith said...
I don't know.
That's not George.
[Lexie] Look... look at his feet, look how tall he is.
That's not George.
He wrote in my hand.
- [Cristina] What do you mean he wrote? - What did he do?
He grabbed my hand and squeezed it and he wrote with his finger.
He wrote with his finger?
You know, in my hand, he wrote "Double O Seven."
Well, give...
- OK, what'd I write? - "Joe."
- No! No, I did not write "Joe"! - Are you serious?
- You mean this may not be O'Malley? - This is funny.
[Richard] Did anyone try and call O'Malley? Can we get him on the phone?
[Meredith] I'm telling you, he squeezed my hand.
Shut it. You don't get to talk anymore, you don't get to talk ever again.
- I could've sworn it was George. - I got voicemail.
He's not answering.
He has a freckle in his right hand, it's shaped like Texas.
I used to tease him about it.
I'll check.
[emotional music playing]
[pager beeps]
[pager two beeps]
You people, answer your pages.
[pager beeps]
George O'Malley jumped in front of a bus today.
He knew what he was doing and he did it anyway,
and he did it to save a life.
So I'm not gonna allow you doctors to stand here.
There are lives on the line, there are lives we can save.
So if George O'Malley can jump in front of a bus...
we can answer our damn pages.
So let's go.
Damn it. Damn it, O'Malley.
[Arizona] How long ago did the pain start?
[Andy] I don't know. A few weeks.
[Pam] Growing pains.
I took him to see our doctor. He's a bad doctor.
He stands there texting while I'm talking to him.
He diagnosed Andy with growing pains.
But you know, I grew up, and growing pains
did not cause me to fall down on the soccer field.
- Mom, you're being a little dramatic. - Your pain is dramatic to me, Andy.
Your mom's right. It's a good thing that you came.
OK. Thanks, because it does hurt. Everything hurts, all the time.
OK. I'm gonna give you a quick exam.
And you'll let me know if the pain gets worse.
[sobbing]
[Callie] This doesn't feel real.
- Does this feel real to you? - No. I don't know.
[Callie] Oh, crap.
I don't want... [sighs] I can't.
Uh-uh. Don't look away, now. Come on, you can walk over to her.
[emotional music playing]
- Mrs. O'Malley, I'm so sorry. - You were his wife.
In God's eyes, you're still his wife.
You should decide about his organs. You should decide.
- But... Uh, um... - [Louise] I can't do it, Callie.
I can't do it. You understand?
Ronnie and Jerry are off on some fishing expedition in Alaska,
and they're gonna come home and I have to tell them that Georgie...
That's all I can do. It's all I can...
I can't.
I... I can't even see him like this, I can't.
You need to do this for me. Can you do this for me?
[distant siren blaring]
[siren blaring louder]
[paramedic] Speedboat accident, 19-year-old female.
Lost vitals twice, but BP's holding in the low 80s.
Both arms amputated at the scene, right leg's hanging on by a thread.
Did you recover either of the arms?
No, they're probably at the bottom of Puget Sound.
She was thrown from the boat and got pulled into the propellers.
She needs more access, she's bleeding out. Get a central line in her. Let's go!
Type and cross her and get as much O-neg as possible.
Wait! I found them!
- I found them! Her arms! - They were on the boat with her.
I found them in the water. You have to take them.
[dramatic music playing]
They were just floating in the water.
- You can sew them back on, right? - We'll do everything we can.
Oh, my God, Jojo.
- That was so gross. - Jasmine, you just saved her life.
You think?
I'm so sorry. I just heard. I don't know what to say.
Go home. You need to go home.
You need to cry and scream and...
When my brother died I ate donuts.
I ate a lot of donuts and that helped some, but...
God, I don't know what to say.
His mom wants me to decide about his organs.
He lost his wallet in the accident.
They don't know if he's a donor. His mom wants me to decide. I can't.
I can't tell her no, but I can't decide.
I mean, we were only married for a few months...
OK, but during those months,
you were the most important person in George's life.
No.
No, I wasn't.
I'm sorry. OK, so let's take a look at the X-rays.
Do I need to take my son to another hospital?
What?
That doctor's hands are shaking as he tries to stick my son with a needle,
and those nurses are crying.
You and your friend... What the hell is going on here?
There was an accident, and one of our people died.
[Steve sniffles]
Andy is my person. He's my only person,
and something is wrong with him.
So what I'm asking you is, do I need to take him somewhere else?
No. No.
I'll make Andy my person, OK? I'll make Andy my person too.
- I didn't tell her, OK? - Karev.
Look, we just ignored her DNR.
Her kidneys quit and she coded. She was freakin' intubated!
She's not strong enough.
- What's her BUN? - Fifteen.
- And her creatinine? - One-point-five.
She's strong enough. She's strong enough. And you have to tell her.
- Why? It can wait. - No, it can't!
It can't wait because George's organs are not gonna be viable for long.
If they want to use them, they have to do it soon
and I have to decide if they get to use them
and I need Izzie to help me because she's the one who should decide.
She's who should decide.
So that's one reason, and the other reason is, Karev,
if you let them unplug George without giving her a chance to say good-bye...
I mean it, she will never forgive you.
You have to tell her.
[Owen] Her pressure keeps dropping.
Throw in an IO, get the blood in a rapid infuser.
[Mark] These are pretty clean amputations. We can reattach these arms.
- Yay! I found them, you know. - [drill sounds]
I'm looking at omentum. Let's get her to an OR now!
Does your friend have any allergies,
medical conditions, is she on any medication?
- She's not our friend. - Jasmine!
We barely know her. We met her on the plane from Sydney.
We're backpacking, seeing the States.
We hardly know her, we're just traveling mates.
- She's really nice, though. - [Owen] Let's move!
Her name, can you give me that?
- Clara. - Mm-hmm. Clara Ferguson, I think.
- Clara Ferguson. - Clara, hang in there.
Stay with me.
[Jo] She lives with her mum in London. I have her backpack in my car.
- OK, get it. - Should we stay?
Yes. In the waiting room. I'll update you when I can.
Dr. Shepherd.
Mr. Jennings. It's good to see you.
- Derek, right? May I call you Derek? - Of course.
I understand you lost a resident. It's sad. I'm sorry.
But the hospital board is meeting soon.
And, Derek, I need to know if you'd like to be
the next Chief of Surgery at Seattle Grace.
George... [sighs] it's me.
You know, I pretty much died not too long ago.
So I need you to call me back.
Please.
I know. I played the cancer card, I'm gross. Whatever.
I need to tell you something and I need you to not panic.
I need you to keep breathing.
I need you to stay alive 'cause...
I swear to God, I need you to stay alive, all right?
OK.
O'Malley...
he got in an accident.
He's brain dead.
I'm sorry, what?
[Callie] What about his heart?
OK.
His eyes?
I know.
Don't want to imagine him without his eyes.
George would give everything.
His skin, his eyes, he would give everything.
["The Fox" playing]
♪ I found a fox in the woods ♪
- [thunder rumbling] - [sighs]
I have a kid in there. Fifteen years old, previously healthy.
Has back pain bad enough to cause vomiting.
Can you talk it through with me because I can't figure out what it is
and I think best out loud.
Did you not hear about George O'Malley?
I did. It's incredibly sad.
I cannot talk to you right now. I cannot work right now.
Dr. Bailey, I hear that.
And I don't mean to be insensitive, but this kid, this kid's still alive.
And I don't know what's wrong with him, not a clue.
So, I need you to work.
I need you to talk through this living patient with me, Bailey.
Please.
How's his neuro exam?
Normal.
Could it be a compression fracture?
Plain films and CT are negative.
- Any congenital problems? - None reported.
Hey.
- Need to go home? - No.
- Did you eat? - No.
Can you eat?
[sighs] No.
- Did you cry? - No.
- Maybe if you cried... - I... you just...
Just you being here is...
Don't say anything. Just be here, that helps.
[sighs]
How are you?
- [Alex] Meredith, we need you. - OK. Excuse me.
♪ When she told me in so many words ♪
♪ I was the one who saved her life ♪
♪ And she would never forget ♪
Amanda, you have to go. We need the room.
- I'm so sorry. - [Meredith] I know.
I'm sorry. I'm...
I'm so sorry.
♪ And wood to keep the fire ♪
♪ And when I woke ♪
♪ I found she had fled ♪
♪ To the house down the river ♪
♪ And I cried all night ♪
♪ Because I had thought she was mine ♪
[sobs]
[Izzie continues sobbing]
You too, huh? Growing pains? You're saying this is growing pains.
No, not just growing pains. He has a mild case of scoliosis,
which, combined with the growth spurt,
could account for the pain and the clumsiness on the soccer field.
We'll see if it settles in a couple of weeks. And if not,
- then you come back for more tests. - Why don't you just run them now?
Because the next set of tests
involve things like sticking large needles into Andy's spine.
All right, then. Heading home.
- You're sure about this? - No.
But I'm gonna write a prescription for muscle relaxants.
And you know I'm here if you need me, which I really hope that you won't.
Did Torres decide about O'Malley, about his organs?
- I don't know. - I'm gonna see where they are.
Chief, look, I... I know this is the worst possible moment,
but... we need to talk.
The board is planning a coup.
They're saying that you dropped the ball,
that our ranking isn't coming up.
They wanna oust you. They're asking me to support it.
They're asking me to step up to take the job.
Take my job?
I told them I'd think about it.
I bought you some time, but you need a plan.
[pager beeps]
Torres has made a decision.
["Speaking A Dead Language" playing]
Are you here to give an update on the boating victim?
- Yeah. Where are... - [Lexie] They left.
Her friends left. They said they had a plane to catch,
and something about a concert in Vegas they didn't want to miss.
They left her pack.
She's got dozens of surgeries ahead of her, if she survives.
When she needs a support system...
[sighs]
OK, until we find her family, you're it. Keep that.
[stammering] I'm sorry, you want... You're ordering me to be her friend?
She's gonna wake up in a lot of pain, missing one of her legs,
and unable to use either of her arms.
So, yes, I'm ordering you to be her friend
'cause I'm sure as hell not gonna do it.
♪ The meaning faded out ♪
I'm heading back to surgery.
♪ Oh, I wonder When did it all stop making sense ♪
♪ I don't understand ♪
[woman] Patient is George O'Malley, 29.
Procedure is organ recovery for donation.
I will call on the receiving surgeons.
Kidneys.
[woman 2] St. Luke's Children's. Boise.
- Who's it for? - Sorry?
- Who are his kidneys for? - I gave all that to the nurse.
I would like you to tell me.
♪ Oh, I wonder When did it all stop making sense ♪
Molly Kemper, eight-years-old.
Hypoplastic kidneys.
Thank you. [shudders]
Lungs.
Lungs and heart are going to Portland Medical Center.
Terry Class, age 22. Cystic fibrosis.
[sniffs] Liver.
[shudders]
["This Sweet Love" playing]
[moaning]
Whoa. [chuckles]
You are evil. You are the devil.
- I am, I admit it. - Cristina, you know the rules.
- The rules are stupid. - Are you saying my shrink is stupid?
I'm saying she's a prude.
- She's prudey and misguided. - Mm-hmm.
She wants us to get to know each other.
She wants me to keep getting to know myself.
She does not want me burying myself in you.
And if we start to have sex...
[sighs] ...I'll bury myself in you.
- Oh, now who's evil? - It's not gonna be too much longer.
You want me to quit therapy? Hmm?
- No. - Mm-hmm.
- Crap. - All right.
We have to go to O'Malley's funeral anyway.
No. I hate funerals. Let's skip it.
We can push up Ceviche's débridement. That's a good excuse.
- Ceviche? - Chopped-up fish.
- Propeller accident. Ceviche. Funny. - [laughs] Right. It's sick.
- That's what makes it funny. - We're going to the funeral. Come on.
"Then all these unicycle boys with wings carried us on a platform
like we were Cleopatra or something. Hilarious."
I can't believe they went to Burning Man. Hags.
They never even heard of Burning Man.
I hate them.
I hate them!
Clara... forget them.
OK? They're morons. They're... Just think about today.
OK, the fact that today you're gonna get
what we believe is your final débridement.
And then after that we're gonna get
the physical therapist in here to get your arm moving.
So I'm gonna save this piece for you to do.
- Thanks. - Now I'm gonna ask you one more time.
- No. - Don't you want to call your mom...
- No. - ...before your next surgery?
No. Not yet.
But we could write her another e-mail. Will it make you late for your funeral?
No. No.
Hi, Mum. I hope you're well.
Aside from the heat and the smell, Burning Man was amazing.
[man] There is an appointed time for everything...
and a time for every affair under the heavens.
- [sobs] - [man] A time to be born,
and a time to die.
A time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant.
[Amanda sniffles]
[man] A time to kill and a time to heal.
A time to tear down and a time to build.
- [man] A time to weep and a time to laugh. - Are you OK? You want the wheelchair?
[man] A time to mourn and a time to dance.
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together.
A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing.
[chuckles] I'm sorry.
- You're laughing? - She's laughing.
[Izzie continues laughing]
George... George is dead.
He's dead. They're about to put him in the ground
and the priest is doing classic rock lyrics,
and that girl, that redhead, is crying harder than his mother.
- And she never even met him. - [muffled laugh]
You are far more twisted than I ever realized.
And you got married on a Post-It.
[all laugh]
[Meredith] I got married on a Post-It. I did.
- And you guys got married for real. - [Izzie] I know!
And I got cancer! What?
O'Malley got hit by a bus.
[all guffawing]
[Izzie yells indistinctly]
[sobbing]
[all guffawing]
She never stops crying.
Not now, please. Not now.
It's been a week. You've been avoiding me.
- Not now. - I am buying you time.
- You have no idea what I've given.
You have no idea what I have sacrificed.
For every miscalculation you think you see,
there have been a hundred things that I have gotten right,
and no one knows.
[Derek] Look, I'm on your side, OK?
I'm not the board. I'm not Jennings.
Then back off, then.
Just back off and give me time to think.
Let me have a minute to...
O'Malley was my intern.
And I'm trying to just take a minute.
So, Derek, please...
back off.
[sighs]
You want a ride home?
I was gonna clean out his locker.
Give his stuff to his mom, but...
I was a bad friend. To George.
I was about as good a friend to him as Clara's friends,
who keep sending postcards from the trip that she'll never get to take.
I just... I...
I abandoned him completely.
I- - I just moved out and stopped talking to him and...
Why? Because he didn't think I was as hot as I thought he was?
Because he didn't love me back?
This may be bad timing, but I gotta ask.
What did that guy have?
I mean, he wasn't much to look at,
but... you and Stevens and Torres?
Tell the truth. Was he, you know...
hung?
- That's... - I know, I said bad timing.
But seriously, he was kind of a dorky little dude.
- Stop! Stop talking! [chuckles] - Sorry, sorry.
[chuckles] He... He died. I...
George died.
[Mark] Yeah.
OK. Any pain here?
All right, take a deep breath.
Any dizziness when you stood up? Take a deep breath.
[inhales]
- No. - OK.
You are going home.
You are gonna come back in 12 days for another round of IL-2
and then you have your PET scan two weeks after that,
but there's no need for you to keep living in this bed.
You should take it easy.
You're still a cancer patient, but you're no longer a surgical patient.
Thank you, Dr. Bailey.
I don't know how to...
Thank you.
Don't forget to sign the discharge papers before you leave.
Andy?
He's got serious pain in his inguinal area, down his legs and in his lower back.
He's got a temp of 101. His mom says he's been throwing up all night.
Please don't tell me this is growing pains, Dr. Robbins.
[sighs]
- I can't do it. - It's OK.
I can't move it at all.
[Owen] It's only been three days since your last surgery.
The swelling will come down. We'll just keep trying. You're doing great.
Right. Great.
[Clara] So, where did we leave off?
- The Grand Canyon? - [Lexie] Yeah.
Big, gorgeous hole in the ground.
OK. Miss you, Mum.
- Uh, wish you could see it. - Clara... Sorry.
You are doing great, but you got a long road here.
Believe me, your mom, she's gonna want to know.
And she's gonna want to help.
She made me from scratch.
That's what she always says.
Like, when I wanted to go skydiving, you know?
"Don't jump out of a plane, Clara. I made that body from scratch."
Or when I sprained my ankle.
"Be more careful, darling. I made that ankle from scratch."
[emotional music playing]
Miss you, Mum.
I'm doing great.
Love you, Clara.
[sighs]
[Richard] Come in.
Hello, Dr. Torres.
Chief, I was just...
I was just wondering.
I haven't heard anything about my application for attending, so...
Dr. Torres, Dr. Chang's 401 K took a hit.
He's putting off retirement for another year or two.
So... So, what, you're not giving me the job?
There is no job. Not this year.
I'm sorry. I assumed you heard.
OK. Dr. Chang is basically a figurehead. You're clear on that, right?
When people want the best, they page me.
I have basically been running Dr. Chang's department...
[Richard] Dr. Chang has an impeccable record!
- He is a dinosaur! - And so am I!
You're...
This is...
- You're gonna regret this. - Dr. Torres...
No! No, no. I am just...
No, I am excellent!
I am excellent, and any other hospital would be thrilled to have me.
I'm flattered for the offer, Larry, and I'm seriously considering it.
But it's complicated and I need a little more time.
I can't give you more time, Derek.
I can give you more money, better benefits,
and a whole lot of press. That's what I can give you.
- But I can't give you much more time. - [Callie] Yes, I am.
I'm a superstar, a superstar with a scalpel!
- Torres! - No! Don't say my name. Do not.
I am too big a star for you to say my name. I build arms out of nothing
and legs like God.
And when I win the Harper Avery and every other prize there is,
you will rue this day, Chief Webber.
That's right. I said "rue."
[emotional music playing]
Tight ship you're running here, Webber.
Real tight ship.
[sobbing]
[indistinct chatter]
- Amanda. Hi. - Hi.
What are you doing here?
Uh... I... can't sleep.
I can't fall asleep, 'cause I see his face all the time.
I see him at bus stops.
He was sweet, smiling, and then...
And then I see the way that he ended up,
so that even his best friends can't recognize him and I can't sleep.
Can you... Can you sleep?
I...
am gonna write you a prescription...
for an anti-anxiety medication.
And I want you to take it because the sleep deprivation thing
can be quite harmful.
- Dr. Robbins. - Chief.
Did you order an emergent 3-D MRI for this patient?
OK, you're mad, I see that.
But with the patient's mother's insurance
it could take weeks to get an MRI and a specialty pain referral...
So you expect the hospital to pay with whose money?
- Oh, sir, I only thought... - I don't want to hear it, Dr. Robbins.
Now discharge the patient, refer him back to his physician, and do it now!
Dr. Karev, change of plans.
Open up!
Open the door, Torres.
- [men chattering indistinctly] - Open the door, or I'll keep knocking
and potentially damage my multi-million dollar hands.
[sobs] My ex-husband died.
He died. He actually got hit by a bus.
George got hit by a bus, and now I have to get a new job
and I'm never gonna see my friends anymore
and Arizona keeps bringing me donuts!
This place for sale? It's nice.
- What? - Oh, nothing, nothing.
[shushing]
[Derek and Meredith giggling]
- [Derek moans] - Oh, my God!
- [Meredith] Hey, Derek! - [Derek] Oh, hey, hi!
- Dude, get a room. - On the stairs? Doesn't that hurt?
[Meredith] Leave us alone, we're newlyweds.
A Post-It wedding does not make you newlyweds.
[Derek] You know what? You're newlyweds, too.
- You need your own space. - What are these?
Keys to my trailer. Your new home.
Enjoy.
- Dr. Hunt. - Yes?
I'm Louise O'Malley, George's mother.
Of course, of course, I'm sorry. I didn't... I'm sorry.
It's all right. Well, I hope you don't mind me coming here to see you.
I know you surgeons are very busy people.
- My Georgie was always... - That's no problem. It's fine.
I'm...
having trouble. I'm...
having trouble...
I...
I think it's because I'm having trouble understanding.
There's a piece of the puzzle missing.
I do better when I understand things, how things happen.
And George, my George...
The boy I knew, the boy I raised,
my boy, would never have joined the Army.
So I'm trying to understand.
I'm trying to understand that piece of it.
I'm trying to understand why Georgie wasn't at work that day,
why he was on his way to my house to tell me he joined the Army in wartime.
I don't understand.
And Dr. Webber said I should talk to you.
["Wade In The Water" playing]
Mrs. O'Malley, I didn't know him like you knew him, I didn't know him long,
but he had tremendous potential as a trauma surgeon.
He was very fast on his feet.
He could think and act simultaneously under intense pressure.
He had tremendous potential.
And... [scoffs]
He was impatient. He wanted to become better faster.
He wanted to save more lives.
He was good.
And he was thoughtful and generous.
Now, I think in the end, I think...
I think he was heroic and noble,
and I liked him very much.
And I think he gave you a good reason to be very, very proud.
♪ My God's gonna trouble the water ♪
Hey, I'm headed out.
- I just wanted to say good night. - Good night.
Clara, you just moved... You moved your fingers, like you waved.
You waved good-bye. This is huge!
That's huge? That I waved?
That I waved a finger?
That's my life from now on, that's the best I have to hope for?
[sighs] Clara...
Do you see that woman out there talking to Dr. Hunt?
We buried her son this week.
He had an accident, like you.
He wasn't even as bad off as you were, and he didn't make it.
Clara, I know that it doesn't feel like it,
but it is a miracle that you lived.
It is a miracle. So you should call your mom.
She would want to know the truth.
You stupid little bitch.
You really don't get it, do you?
You should have let me die.
You had no business.
I've got one working hand, I may never walk again.
Do you think you're God? You had no business.
Your friend is better off. His mum is better off.
Do you think this is a miracle? Who wants to live like this?
Just let me die! Just let me die, please!
- Just let me die! - Hey, Clara...
- [monitor beeping] - [Clara] Just let me die! Get off me!
I need some help in here!
- Clara, stop! You have to stop! - [Clara] Get off me!
♪ Wade in the water ♪
♪ 'Cause my God's gonna Trouble the water ♪
[Meredith] In medical school, we have a hundred classes
that teach us how to fight off death...
and not one lesson in how to go on living.
♪ Yes, my God's gonna trouble the water ♪