1 00:00:02,491 --> 00:00:05,382 "Battle." "Fight." 2 00:00:06,321 --> 00:00:09,407 "Win." "Lose." 3 00:00:10,150 --> 00:00:11,402 These are the words we use 4 00:00:11,487 --> 00:00:14,689 when someone is diagnosed with an illness or a disease. 5 00:00:14,916 --> 00:00:19,636 ♪ No wind, no rain ♪ 6 00:00:19,862 --> 00:00:23,381 ♪ Or winter's cold ♪ 7 00:00:23,466 --> 00:00:26,462 ♪ Can stop me, baby ♪ 8 00:00:26,590 --> 00:00:28,874 ♪ Oh, baby ♪ 9 00:00:29,038 --> 00:00:32,118 ♪ If you're my goal ♪ 10 00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:36,376 ♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪ 11 00:00:36,680 --> 00:00:38,495 We use militarized language 12 00:00:38,581 --> 00:00:40,498 that implies it's a fair fight. 13 00:00:46,311 --> 00:00:48,595 - God grant me the serenity - God grant me the serenity 14 00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:51,676 to accept the things I cannot change, 15 00:00:51,761 --> 00:00:54,962 the courage to change the things I can, 16 00:00:55,251 --> 00:00:57,212 and the wisdom to know the difference. 17 00:00:57,328 --> 00:00:58,982 But when it comes to life and death, 18 00:00:59,068 --> 00:01:01,103 what does winning really look like? 19 00:01:01,559 --> 00:01:03,176 Is a person a loser for dying 20 00:01:03,262 --> 00:01:05,580 when the outcome isn't really in their control... 21 00:01:05,775 --> 00:01:07,595 Oh. Damn it. 22 00:01:07,681 --> 00:01:09,093 If any patients see you like that, 23 00:01:09,178 --> 00:01:10,595 they might go to another hospital. 24 00:01:10,681 --> 00:01:11,698 Always gets me in the mood. 25 00:01:11,783 --> 00:01:13,335 Plus, you know, I'm seeing what daylight feels like 26 00:01:13,420 --> 00:01:14,501 while I still can. 27 00:01:14,876 --> 00:01:15,931 How's Catherine? 28 00:01:16,017 --> 00:01:17,032 She's ready. 29 00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:18,657 - And you? - Shh, shh, shh, shh. 30 00:01:20,469 --> 00:01:21,923 Ah. 31 00:01:22,091 --> 00:01:24,658 Funny bone. Not as easy as it looks. 32 00:01:26,626 --> 00:01:28,743 Okay, then. I have real patients, 33 00:01:28,829 --> 00:01:31,376 so, you know, good luck with... all this. 34 00:01:34,523 --> 00:01:35,868 I'm messing with you. 35 00:01:36,556 --> 00:01:39,357 You're gonna do great. You and Amelia. 36 00:01:39,442 --> 00:01:41,559 You're ready. 37 00:01:41,644 --> 00:01:42,693 Charley horse. 38 00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,399 There he is. Thought you might need this. 39 00:01:52,485 --> 00:01:54,798 Oh. No, thanks. But I'm... I'm good. 40 00:01:54,884 --> 00:01:56,574 I'm running late for Catherine's scans. 41 00:01:56,659 --> 00:01:58,393 Okay, well, I have cleared all my surgeries today 42 00:01:58,478 --> 00:01:59,454 and shored up child care, 43 00:01:59,540 --> 00:02:00,713 so I'm here for you, whatever you need, 44 00:02:00,798 --> 00:02:02,962 - whenever you need it. - Like I said, I'm good. 45 00:02:03,493 --> 00:02:06,048 Okay, Richard, it's gonna be a very long day. 46 00:02:06,150 --> 00:02:09,387 Look, Meredith, I have plenty of doctors 47 00:02:09,472 --> 00:02:11,368 and plenty of friends looking out for me. 48 00:02:11,571 --> 00:02:14,243 You know who doesn't? Your father. 49 00:02:14,859 --> 00:02:17,243 Molly had to get back to Bahrain with her kids. 50 00:02:17,329 --> 00:02:18,407 He's all alone. 51 00:02:18,493 --> 00:02:20,665 And I will make time to see Thatcher this week, 52 00:02:20,751 --> 00:02:22,743 but today is all about you and Catherine. 53 00:02:22,844 --> 00:02:24,665 Meredith, Thatcher may not have a week. 54 00:02:25,634 --> 00:02:27,900 Now, I know it's never been easy between you two, 55 00:02:28,086 --> 00:02:30,203 but the time to change that is running out. 56 00:02:31,814 --> 00:02:33,189 Excuse me. 57 00:02:36,119 --> 00:02:38,116 Captioning provided by ABC Studios and ABC, Inc. 58 00:02:38,202 --> 00:02:39,860 And brought to you by Ford. Going further, so you can. 59 00:02:39,945 --> 00:02:42,032 *GREY'S ANATOMY* Season 15 Episode 11 60 00:02:42,398 --> 00:02:44,180 *GREY'S ANATOMY* Episode Title: "The Winner Takes it All" 61 00:02:44,305 --> 00:02:46,305 Sync corrections by srjanapala 62 00:02:47,407 --> 00:02:49,681 Oh, I'm sorry I missed your scan. 63 00:02:49,779 --> 00:02:52,634 Oh, please. I went in. I came out. 64 00:02:52,759 --> 00:02:54,524 Same as the first million times. 65 00:02:54,610 --> 00:02:56,196 Well, I could have been there for you. 66 00:02:56,282 --> 00:02:58,173 You had a good excuse. 67 00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,771 There's my girl! 68 00:03:00,856 --> 00:03:03,975 There's my girl! 69 00:03:04,060 --> 00:03:05,543 Let me get her for you. Relax. 70 00:03:06,479 --> 00:03:07,634 Do you want to go to Grandma? 71 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:10,481 Say, "Hi, Grandma." "Hi, Grandma." 72 00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:12,483 Hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. 73 00:03:12,568 --> 00:03:14,485 Did Koracick re-check the CT angio? 74 00:03:14,570 --> 00:03:16,487 Yes, and please stop. 75 00:03:16,572 --> 00:03:18,604 I appreciate both of you wanting to be a part of this, 76 00:03:18,689 --> 00:03:20,892 but I have a crackerjack neuro team. 77 00:03:20,977 --> 00:03:23,306 I need you to be my husband and my son today. 78 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:26,595 And we need you to be our patient. 79 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,971 Hmm, Thomas, you're getting ready to cut open my spine. 80 00:03:29,056 --> 00:03:30,835 I will be whatever I want. 81 00:03:30,920 --> 00:03:32,637 Oh. Music to my ears. 82 00:03:32,722 --> 00:03:35,033 Now, we will go in posteriorly 83 00:03:35,119 --> 00:03:36,126 with our stealth system 84 00:03:36,235 --> 00:03:38,345 and our newly pilfered ORBEYE scope. 85 00:03:38,431 --> 00:03:39,462 Hmm. 86 00:03:39,548 --> 00:03:41,900 The plan is to go in and remove it en bloc. 87 00:03:41,986 --> 00:03:43,548 And you really think that posteriorly 88 00:03:43,634 --> 00:03:44,517 is the way to go? 89 00:03:44,603 --> 00:03:47,556 Oh, it is fun to have so many surgeons in one family. 90 00:03:47,642 --> 00:03:48,885 Remind me, Avery... When did you become 91 00:03:48,970 --> 00:03:50,673 double board certified in neuro? 92 00:03:50,759 --> 00:03:52,243 That's really how you talk to your patient's family? 93 00:03:52,328 --> 00:03:53,704 It is, actually. 94 00:03:56,197 --> 00:03:57,862 We need to go in posteriorly 95 00:03:57,947 --> 00:03:59,931 to avoid the carotid and the jugular, 96 00:04:00,017 --> 00:04:02,462 and to avoid having to weave through the brachial plexus. 97 00:04:02,548 --> 00:04:04,935 Look, I know how hard it is to be on the bench, 98 00:04:05,021 --> 00:04:06,771 but we are the A-Team. And we don't lose. 99 00:04:06,856 --> 00:04:09,774 Just ask Shepherd's tumor. Oh, wait, you can't. 100 00:04:09,859 --> 00:04:11,809 Because I removed it. Flawlessly. 101 00:04:12,017 --> 00:04:14,278 Okay, any last questions? 102 00:04:14,363 --> 00:04:16,881 Um... it looks like you've got this. 103 00:04:16,966 --> 00:04:18,001 We do. 104 00:04:18,121 --> 00:04:19,665 Mm-hmm. 105 00:04:21,790 --> 00:04:22,720 I'm good. 106 00:04:22,805 --> 00:04:25,017 But, you know, I-I um... 107 00:04:25,502 --> 00:04:29,821 I think I'd like to just take a little walk 108 00:04:30,156 --> 00:04:31,773 before we get started. 109 00:04:32,111 --> 00:04:34,392 - I'd be happy to... - Oh, no, honey. 110 00:04:34,540 --> 00:04:36,619 I want to go alone. 111 00:04:37,052 --> 00:04:38,642 Okay, then, but no guarantees 112 00:04:38,728 --> 00:04:40,033 I won't watch you walk away. 113 00:04:40,119 --> 00:04:41,478 You always do. 114 00:05:17,622 --> 00:05:18,876 Hi. I'm... 115 00:05:18,961 --> 00:05:20,161 Meredith? 116 00:05:20,482 --> 00:05:21,544 Yeah. 117 00:05:21,630 --> 00:05:23,458 I'm sorry. You look... 118 00:05:23,544 --> 00:05:25,114 just like your picture. 119 00:05:25,599 --> 00:05:27,286 You're the surgeon, right? 120 00:05:27,372 --> 00:05:28,622 Yeah. 121 00:05:31,528 --> 00:05:33,294 Uh, do you want to come in? 122 00:05:34,435 --> 00:05:35,793 That's a loaded question. 123 00:05:44,966 --> 00:05:46,419 I'm not sure if he's awake. 124 00:05:46,505 --> 00:05:48,204 He sleeps more and more these days 125 00:05:48,290 --> 00:05:49,607 as you can imagine. 126 00:05:49,872 --> 00:05:51,809 Uh, can I get you something? 127 00:05:51,894 --> 00:05:53,849 Water? Gin, maybe? 128 00:05:56,215 --> 00:05:57,411 All right. 129 00:05:58,825 --> 00:06:01,778 Thatcher? You have a visitor. 130 00:06:10,803 --> 00:06:12,553 Meredith! 131 00:06:14,788 --> 00:06:16,000 Hi... 132 00:06:18,094 --> 00:06:19,420 Hi. 133 00:06:22,014 --> 00:06:24,654 He's not on any pain meds. Clean and sober. 134 00:06:24,835 --> 00:06:25,999 His wishes. 135 00:06:26,085 --> 00:06:27,710 So, just the oxygen, if he needs it. 136 00:06:27,795 --> 00:06:29,170 But you know how that works. 137 00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:30,483 I do. 138 00:06:30,998 --> 00:06:32,348 Well, I'll leave you to it. 139 00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:33,957 My cellphone number is on the fridge. 140 00:06:34,043 --> 00:06:35,877 If you need anything, give me a call. 141 00:06:48,436 --> 00:06:51,193 I probably can't stay very long. 142 00:06:51,279 --> 00:06:52,990 I just... 143 00:06:55,627 --> 00:06:58,378 There's so much to say, I-I... 144 00:06:58,580 --> 00:07:00,531 I don't know what to say. 145 00:07:02,037 --> 00:07:04,209 I didn't come here to say anything 146 00:07:04,497 --> 00:07:06,506 or to hear you say anything to me, so... 147 00:07:06,639 --> 00:07:08,233 we can just sit, if that's okay. 148 00:07:08,443 --> 00:07:09,498 Okay. 149 00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:45,296 Mom. 150 00:07:45,388 --> 00:07:47,091 I was looking for you. 151 00:07:51,381 --> 00:07:53,521 You know I give Amelia and Koracick a hard time, 152 00:07:53,607 --> 00:07:55,162 but... they're the best. 153 00:07:55,248 --> 00:07:57,732 I was thinking about my first surgery. 154 00:07:57,885 --> 00:08:01,060 The very first time I held a scalpel in my hand. 155 00:08:01,282 --> 00:08:04,653 It was a simple lipoma, but I was terrified. 156 00:08:04,778 --> 00:08:06,021 Hmm. 157 00:08:06,207 --> 00:08:08,891 I expected to feel so powerful, invincible. 158 00:08:08,977 --> 00:08:10,411 But the second that scrub nurse 159 00:08:10,564 --> 00:08:12,732 put that 10 blade in my hand, 160 00:08:12,965 --> 00:08:14,182 I went ice cold. 161 00:08:14,290 --> 00:08:16,574 Okay, so then what did you do? 162 00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:20,130 Diana Ross. "Ain't No Mountain High Enough." 163 00:08:20,216 --> 00:08:22,258 The first time I heard that song, 164 00:08:22,343 --> 00:08:25,428 it just filled me with joy and such calm... 165 00:08:25,513 --> 00:08:26,724 so I just sang it 166 00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:29,021 over and over and over in my head, in that O.R., 167 00:08:29,107 --> 00:08:33,135 until that same sense of calm and joy washed over me. 168 00:08:33,220 --> 00:08:34,704 And it's been my secret weapon 169 00:08:34,789 --> 00:08:36,706 for everything that's ever scared me... 170 00:08:36,791 --> 00:08:38,007 My first surgery. 171 00:08:38,092 --> 00:08:40,443 Labor with you, it was on an endless loop. 172 00:08:41,810 --> 00:08:45,435 Every PET scan, every MRI. 173 00:08:48,140 --> 00:08:49,615 I remember you singing that song in the kitchen 174 00:08:49,700 --> 00:08:51,184 when I was doing my homework. 175 00:08:51,270 --> 00:08:53,220 You told me it was old people music. 176 00:08:53,306 --> 00:08:54,823 You wanted Michael Jackson. 177 00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,892 I love me some Michael. Ooh. 178 00:08:56,978 --> 00:08:59,196 I had to pry that red leather jacket off of you 179 00:08:59,282 --> 00:09:00,380 to get you to go to bed at night. 180 00:09:00,465 --> 00:09:02,816 Ah, that's true. 181 00:09:03,050 --> 00:09:04,302 Oh. 182 00:09:04,504 --> 00:09:06,286 I guess I used to do the same thing. 183 00:09:06,372 --> 00:09:09,290 My first surgery, I sang a song in my head. 184 00:09:09,376 --> 00:09:11,860 - I mean, it calmed me, you know? - I know. 185 00:09:12,083 --> 00:09:13,508 I watched you. 186 00:09:14,012 --> 00:09:15,910 My first... How did you watch? 187 00:09:15,996 --> 00:09:18,514 Child, please. I am Catherine Fox. 188 00:09:18,599 --> 00:09:19,715 Do you think there's a world 189 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:21,350 where I wouldn't sneak into the gallery 190 00:09:21,435 --> 00:09:22,888 of my baby's first surgery? 191 00:09:23,097 --> 00:09:25,341 Oh, you were a sight to see... 192 00:09:25,473 --> 00:09:26,896 Mm. 193 00:09:27,068 --> 00:09:30,086 I bet Harriet does the same thing someday. 194 00:09:30,226 --> 00:09:33,021 Well, I'll be sneaking up into the gallery with you, then. 195 00:09:34,348 --> 00:09:35,614 Deal. 196 00:09:36,869 --> 00:09:38,661 That's a deal. 197 00:09:39,767 --> 00:09:42,607 Now, can we please get you to your room? 198 00:09:42,857 --> 00:09:44,427 Not yet. 199 00:09:45,227 --> 00:09:48,276 - Mom... - I left the foundation in your name, 200 00:09:48,362 --> 00:09:50,079 just in case anything happens to me. 201 00:09:50,164 --> 00:09:52,192 Cecilia runs the day-to-day operations, 202 00:09:52,278 --> 00:09:53,683 Charlie keeps the books humming, 203 00:09:53,768 --> 00:09:56,247 but they'll need a leader, a North Star. 204 00:09:56,771 --> 00:09:59,005 And in the event that I'm left totally paralyzed... 205 00:09:59,091 --> 00:10:00,289 Mom, even if you can't operate, 206 00:10:00,374 --> 00:10:01,557 you're still gonna run the foundation, okay? 207 00:10:01,642 --> 00:10:03,599 You'll teach. You're Catherine Fox. 208 00:10:03,853 --> 00:10:04,981 What are you gonna do? 209 00:10:05,067 --> 00:10:06,829 You're gonna be all up in my business and everybody else's. 210 00:10:06,914 --> 00:10:08,459 We both know you're gonna find a way to do that. 211 00:10:08,544 --> 00:10:10,408 Keep this. Turn the page. 212 00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:12,817 I've already... Turn the page. 213 00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:16,205 You planned your own party? 214 00:10:16,290 --> 00:10:17,552 Mom. 215 00:10:17,638 --> 00:10:20,376 If I get out of this alive, the fun we're gonna have... 216 00:10:20,461 --> 00:10:22,745 And don't you even think about scrimping on those egg rolls. 217 00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:24,099 You know they're my favorite. 218 00:10:24,371 --> 00:10:27,856 You really planned everything. 219 00:10:28,035 --> 00:10:29,825 I always do. 220 00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:32,271 All right, then. 221 00:10:33,208 --> 00:10:34,599 Shall we? 222 00:10:41,994 --> 00:10:44,599 Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe. 223 00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:47,803 Phillip put these everywhere for me. 224 00:10:48,235 --> 00:10:50,946 He said it's supposed to be soothing. 225 00:10:51,032 --> 00:10:52,172 Truth be told, 226 00:10:52,258 --> 00:10:53,672 it just makes me miss it more. 227 00:10:55,180 --> 00:10:56,907 A few years back, a student told me about 228 00:10:57,079 --> 00:11:00,415 a semester he took abroad building schools. 229 00:11:01,149 --> 00:11:05,235 Lexie was gone, and I thought I could either 230 00:11:05,726 --> 00:11:07,508 drown my grief in a bottle of Scotch 231 00:11:07,594 --> 00:11:09,625 or do something. So I did something. 232 00:11:13,582 --> 00:11:14,688 In Zimbabwe. 233 00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:18,711 The sunsets, Meredith... and the quiet. 234 00:11:19,262 --> 00:11:21,969 The people that I met, they have this passion 235 00:11:22,055 --> 00:11:26,743 for... life, loving, learning... 236 00:11:30,493 --> 00:11:32,180 And then you got sick. 237 00:11:32,348 --> 00:11:34,431 I thought I'd just come home, 238 00:11:34,517 --> 00:11:36,317 do whatever treatment I needed to do, 239 00:11:36,403 --> 00:11:39,602 and then go back, but... It was good. Coming home. 240 00:11:39,719 --> 00:11:44,399 It gave me a chance to... It was the right thing to do. 241 00:11:48,115 --> 00:11:49,915 You went and got a whole new life. 242 00:11:50,117 --> 00:11:51,850 I did. 243 00:11:53,969 --> 00:11:55,094 I'm glad for you. 244 00:11:55,180 --> 00:11:57,806 I'm glad you saw sunsets and built schools 245 00:11:57,892 --> 00:12:00,352 for people who needed them and you stayed sober. 246 00:12:00,540 --> 00:12:02,149 You went and got a whole new life. 247 00:12:02,258 --> 00:12:04,719 Halfway across the world this time. 248 00:12:06,586 --> 00:12:07,875 But you didn't give a damn 249 00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,660 about the people you left behind. 250 00:12:13,977 --> 00:12:15,056 Say it again. 251 00:12:15,219 --> 00:12:18,125 We make an incision posteriorly from C3 to T4, 252 00:12:18,211 --> 00:12:19,261 and then use the stealth probe 253 00:12:19,346 --> 00:12:20,863 to mark the coordinates of the tumor. 254 00:12:20,948 --> 00:12:22,698 And then do partial laminectomies 255 00:12:22,783 --> 00:12:25,501 to access the tumor and remove it en bloc. 256 00:12:25,586 --> 00:12:26,669 Perfect. Brilliant. 257 00:12:26,754 --> 00:12:28,070 We are incredible. 258 00:12:28,155 --> 00:12:29,505 Someone should really do a study on us. 259 00:12:31,926 --> 00:12:33,442 Okay, say it. 260 00:12:33,527 --> 00:12:35,845 What? Wh... Oh. No. 261 00:12:35,930 --> 00:12:38,214 Ha ha! I'm good. 262 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:40,954 Good, good, good, good. Big Gun. 263 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,907 Ready to Big Gun the crap out of this tumor. 264 00:12:45,039 --> 00:12:46,501 Damn it. 265 00:12:46,631 --> 00:12:48,594 - Even my arrogance is off. - Right? 266 00:12:48,776 --> 00:12:50,290 Right. 267 00:12:50,590 --> 00:12:52,694 W-What if we try, uh, your thing? 268 00:12:52,780 --> 00:12:55,097 You know, the... the word-vomit and the feelings? 269 00:12:55,182 --> 00:12:57,466 That seems to work. For you. 270 00:12:57,551 --> 00:12:58,727 Okay. 271 00:12:59,053 --> 00:13:00,853 You... you first. 272 00:13:02,218 --> 00:13:04,302 This is the largest tumor I've ever seen 273 00:13:04,458 --> 00:13:05,774 on the biggest legend I've ever known, 274 00:13:05,859 --> 00:13:07,776 and if I screw this up, I'm gonna have to live out 275 00:13:07,861 --> 00:13:08,744 the rest of my ill-fated surgical career 276 00:13:08,829 --> 00:13:09,712 fixing idiot teenagers 277 00:13:09,797 --> 00:13:11,146 who get hurt cow-tipping in Lawrence, Kansas, 278 00:13:11,231 --> 00:13:12,381 'cause I can't look Richard in the eye 279 00:13:12,466 --> 00:13:14,219 knowing I gorked his legend wife. 280 00:13:14,579 --> 00:13:15,885 That is specific. 281 00:13:16,133 --> 00:13:17,352 Well... I'm saying, 282 00:13:17,438 --> 00:13:19,594 how do you get hurt cow-tipping? It's a thing. 283 00:13:19,946 --> 00:13:22,415 Just... You. Go. 284 00:13:22,501 --> 00:13:25,180 Uh, Catherine Fox is an icon, and a magician, 285 00:13:25,266 --> 00:13:26,561 and a giant among men... 286 00:13:26,647 --> 00:13:28,564 And not just for the reasons you think. 287 00:13:28,649 --> 00:13:30,132 She's saved more penises in her O.R. 288 00:13:30,217 --> 00:13:31,567 than any surgeon on the planet. 289 00:13:31,652 --> 00:13:32,701 And all I keep imagining 290 00:13:32,786 --> 00:13:34,567 are the dozens of men with zero-functioning penises, 291 00:13:34,652 --> 00:13:35,974 doomed to live out their sexless lives 292 00:13:36,059 --> 00:13:37,606 if I botch this surgery. 293 00:13:38,415 --> 00:13:39,941 That's what you're worried about? 294 00:13:40,230 --> 00:13:41,546 Men and their junk? 295 00:13:42,224 --> 00:13:44,245 That, and if I lose her... 296 00:13:45,878 --> 00:13:47,558 I've lost enough. 297 00:13:49,102 --> 00:13:50,652 So let's keep her alive. 298 00:13:53,107 --> 00:13:54,792 Let's keep her alive. 299 00:14:08,508 --> 00:14:10,796 I told them I didn't need a personal escort 300 00:14:10,882 --> 00:14:12,532 to my own surgery. 301 00:14:12,626 --> 00:14:13,943 Well, that's just making sure 302 00:14:14,028 --> 00:14:15,558 you don't make a break for it. 303 00:14:15,675 --> 00:14:17,592 Thomas, make sure that I wake up 304 00:14:17,678 --> 00:14:20,519 with good motor and nerve function. 305 00:14:20,672 --> 00:14:23,206 And don't forget to get clean margins. 306 00:14:23,623 --> 00:14:24,972 I wouldn't dream of it. 307 00:14:25,058 --> 00:14:26,156 And would you tell my husband 308 00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,362 he does not have to sit up in that gallery all day? 309 00:14:28,448 --> 00:14:29,464 "For better, for worse" 310 00:14:29,550 --> 00:14:31,727 does not include seeing your wife's insides. 311 00:14:31,812 --> 00:14:33,573 You know, you wouldn't be you 312 00:14:33,659 --> 00:14:35,316 if you weren't bossing us all around 313 00:14:35,402 --> 00:14:37,120 up until the last second. 314 00:14:37,456 --> 00:14:38,902 You nervous? 315 00:14:39,607 --> 00:14:41,202 Were you? 316 00:14:41,409 --> 00:14:44,640 A little bit. But I turned out just fine. 317 00:14:44,725 --> 00:14:46,003 That's because I was perfect, 318 00:14:46,089 --> 00:14:48,077 which I'm willing to be again. 319 00:14:48,162 --> 00:14:49,211 Well, you better be. 320 00:14:49,296 --> 00:14:50,776 Oh, Richard, I always liked you. 321 00:14:50,862 --> 00:14:51,914 No, you didn't. 322 00:14:51,999 --> 00:14:53,573 And I'm fine as long as she's fine. 323 00:14:53,659 --> 00:14:56,430 Okay, okay, can I have a minute with my husband, please? 324 00:15:14,602 --> 00:15:18,737 I will see you... when I wake up. 325 00:15:19,612 --> 00:15:20,941 Jackson? 326 00:15:21,183 --> 00:15:22,417 Where's Jackson? 327 00:15:24,373 --> 00:15:25,580 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 328 00:15:25,666 --> 00:15:26,782 One for the road? 329 00:15:26,867 --> 00:15:29,785 Oh, ha ha! My baby! 330 00:15:29,870 --> 00:15:33,238 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 331 00:15:44,956 --> 00:15:47,201 ♪ If you need me ♪ 332 00:15:47,433 --> 00:15:49,772 ♪ Call me ♪ 333 00:15:49,857 --> 00:15:51,792 ♪ No matter where you are ♪ 334 00:15:51,906 --> 00:15:53,905 ♪ No matter how far ♪ 335 00:15:54,063 --> 00:15:56,303 ♪ No wind ♪ ♪ No wind ♪ 336 00:15:56,429 --> 00:15:58,308 ♪ No rain ♪ ♪ No rain ♪ 337 00:15:58,394 --> 00:16:00,394 ♪ Can stop me, babe ♪ 338 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:02,316 ♪ If you're my goal ♪ 339 00:16:02,402 --> 00:16:07,322 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 340 00:16:09,076 --> 00:16:11,964 ♪ Ain't no mountain high enough ♪ ♪ Oh, oh-oh ♪ 341 00:16:12,050 --> 00:16:14,417 ♪ Ain't no valley low enough ♪ ♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh ♪ 342 00:16:14,503 --> 00:16:16,573 ♪ Ain't no river wide enough ♪ ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 343 00:16:16,659 --> 00:16:18,934 ♪ To keep me from you ♪ 344 00:16:19,019 --> 00:16:23,816 ♪ Ain't no mountain high enough ♪ 345 00:16:23,902 --> 00:16:28,581 ♪ Nothing can keep me, keep me from you ♪ 346 00:16:28,731 --> 00:16:32,722 ♪ Ain't no mountain high enough to keep me from you ♪ 347 00:16:37,326 --> 00:16:40,845 ♪ You've been running all over town ♪ 348 00:16:40,944 --> 00:16:44,159 Just like that, we are ready to navigate. 349 00:16:44,467 --> 00:16:47,162 Don't you want to confirm the accuracy first? 350 00:16:47,247 --> 00:16:48,597 Oh, what would I do without someone hee 351 00:16:48,682 --> 00:16:50,599 to remind me of the obvious? 352 00:16:50,684 --> 00:16:53,046 I'm just saying, maybe a little less music, 353 00:16:53,132 --> 00:16:54,734 a little more concentration. 354 00:16:54,820 --> 00:16:58,432 ♪ All you want to do is ride around, Sally ♪ 355 00:16:58,531 --> 00:17:01,082 ♪ Ride, Sally, ride ♪ 356 00:17:01,167 --> 00:17:02,517 Whoo! 357 00:17:02,602 --> 00:17:05,153 This is going to be a long day. 358 00:17:05,238 --> 00:17:09,834 And you are gonna love every minute of it. 359 00:17:10,045 --> 00:17:11,342 We're gonna get don in there. 360 00:17:11,428 --> 00:17:12,936 Get down and dirt. Here we go. 361 00:17:13,022 --> 00:17:15,623 ♪ All you want to do is ride around, Sally ♪ 362 00:17:15,709 --> 00:17:19,561 ♪ Ride, Sally, ride ♪ 363 00:17:19,647 --> 00:17:23,466 ♪ All you want to do is ride around, Sally ♪ 364 00:17:23,690 --> 00:17:24,872 Mind if I join you? 365 00:17:24,957 --> 00:17:26,474 ♪ Ride, Sally, ride ♪ 366 00:17:26,559 --> 00:17:27,842 I'd like that. 367 00:17:27,927 --> 00:17:31,279 ♪ One of these early mornings ♪ 368 00:17:31,364 --> 00:17:33,647 ♪ I'm gonna be wiping those weeping eyes ♪ 369 00:17:33,733 --> 00:17:35,147 How's the resection going? 370 00:17:35,287 --> 00:17:36,884 So far so good. 371 00:17:36,969 --> 00:17:39,187 Come on. Let it loose. Let it out. 372 00:17:39,272 --> 00:17:41,405 Are you sure you don't want to be in the waiting room? 373 00:17:41,491 --> 00:17:43,057 I can watch, and I can report back to you guys. 374 00:17:43,142 --> 00:17:46,142 No, I'm fine right where I am. I-I'm good. 375 00:17:46,228 --> 00:17:48,912 ♪ I bought you a brand-new mustang ♪ 376 00:17:49,021 --> 00:17:50,805 Do it with me. Come on, now. 377 00:17:51,084 --> 00:17:52,756 You're mad. 378 00:17:52,913 --> 00:17:54,201 I'm not mad. 379 00:17:54,287 --> 00:17:56,201 Meredith... 380 00:17:56,928 --> 00:17:58,239 Fine. I'm mad. 381 00:17:58,324 --> 00:18:00,074 Because I moved away. 382 00:18:00,159 --> 00:18:02,076 Because you ran away. 383 00:18:02,161 --> 00:18:05,179 Because you have never fought for anyone or anything 384 00:18:05,264 --> 00:18:07,382 that you cared for in your life. 385 00:18:07,467 --> 00:18:09,384 You just disappear. 386 00:18:09,569 --> 00:18:11,951 When I gave you a piece of my liver, 387 00:18:12,116 --> 00:18:14,022 you said we would try, right? 388 00:18:14,209 --> 00:18:16,156 You said we could get to know each other. 389 00:18:16,242 --> 00:18:18,819 You didn't try. You didn't fight. 390 00:18:18,905 --> 00:18:20,299 And when Lexie died... 391 00:18:20,413 --> 00:18:21,773 I know. I know. No, you don't know, 392 00:18:21,858 --> 00:18:23,096 because you weren't here. 393 00:18:23,385 --> 00:18:26,537 I lost my sister. I lost my husband. 394 00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,169 And you were nowhere to be found. 395 00:18:28,254 --> 00:18:29,320 That's not... 396 00:18:29,405 --> 00:18:32,381 Meredith, I was there after Derek died. 397 00:18:32,467 --> 00:18:34,108 No, why would you say something like that? 398 00:18:34,194 --> 00:18:36,044 Because it's the truth, Meredith. 399 00:18:36,129 --> 00:18:38,365 Richard told me Derek died. I bought a ticket. 400 00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:39,389 I flew all day, all night. 401 00:18:39,475 --> 00:18:41,749 I got to the funeral just... Just in time. 402 00:18:41,834 --> 00:18:43,785 I stood a few rows back. 403 00:18:43,870 --> 00:18:46,694 Next to some of your doctor friends from the hospital. 404 00:18:46,780 --> 00:18:49,748 I would remember if you were at his funeral. 405 00:18:49,834 --> 00:18:50,951 I was there, Meredith. 406 00:18:51,037 --> 00:18:53,326 But you were barely there. You were a ghost. 407 00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:56,670 You looked like me when I lost Susan and Lexie. 408 00:18:56,756 --> 00:18:58,299 Are you saying you came to the funeral 409 00:18:58,384 --> 00:18:59,490 and didn't speak to me? 410 00:18:59,576 --> 00:19:02,136 I felt like it would... Would have been for me, 411 00:19:02,221 --> 00:19:04,739 - not... - not... not... 412 00:19:04,824 --> 00:19:07,942 For... for you. 413 00:19:09,162 --> 00:19:11,212 Let's get you to the bed. 414 00:19:33,090 --> 00:19:37,158 I came home, Meredith. For you. 415 00:19:45,885 --> 00:19:49,041 ♪ And you're standing here beside me ♪ 416 00:19:49,202 --> 00:19:51,119 This microscope is a game changer. 417 00:19:51,204 --> 00:19:53,143 I know. I feel like I could just walk into the screen 418 00:19:53,228 --> 00:19:55,022 and surf on the spinal cor. 419 00:19:55,107 --> 00:19:58,924 ♪ Never for money, always for love ♪ 420 00:19:59,010 --> 00:20:01,829 ♪ Cover up and say goodnight ♪ 421 00:20:01,914 --> 00:20:03,713 ♪ Say goodnight ♪ 422 00:20:03,958 --> 00:20:05,119 All right... 423 00:20:05,205 --> 00:20:09,303 it looks like we are clear to remove the tumor en bloc. 424 00:20:10,838 --> 00:20:12,249 Except... hang on. 425 00:20:14,726 --> 00:20:15,942 I can't get it free. 426 00:20:16,028 --> 00:20:17,913 Okay, then. Time to suck and pluc. 427 00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:19,296 - I'm sorry, what? - The tumor's like a grape. 428 00:20:19,382 --> 00:20:21,007 You suck out the inside, then you pluck out the skin. 429 00:20:21,093 --> 00:20:22,049 Suck and pluck. 430 00:20:22,134 --> 00:20:24,135 - Could you call it something else? - Like what? 431 00:20:24,221 --> 00:20:26,821 Literally anything else. 432 00:20:29,093 --> 00:20:30,702 I hate this dude. 433 00:20:30,788 --> 00:20:32,713 - Jackson, sit. - No, I hate him. For real. 434 00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:34,896 I want to jump through this glass and just, like, choke him out. 435 00:20:34,981 --> 00:20:35,892 He is bopping. 436 00:20:35,978 --> 00:20:37,838 He's bopping over my mom's spine. 437 00:20:37,924 --> 00:20:39,567 I mean, who does that? Maybe you should take a walk. 438 00:20:39,652 --> 00:20:41,803 I'm gonna take a walk now. 439 00:20:46,618 --> 00:20:49,147 Richard, this can't be good for you either. 440 00:20:51,502 --> 00:20:53,955 The first year or so Catherine and I were together, 441 00:20:54,041 --> 00:20:55,983 we figured out how to make the long distance work 442 00:20:56,068 --> 00:20:58,252 because we'd promise to show up 443 00:20:58,424 --> 00:21:00,892 whenever we needed, however we needed. 444 00:21:00,978 --> 00:21:03,088 It's what you do for the people you love. 445 00:21:03,759 --> 00:21:05,125 She may fuss, 446 00:21:05,211 --> 00:21:08,896 but I don't need to ask her where she wants me to be. 447 00:21:09,455 --> 00:21:10,760 I'm already here. 448 00:21:10,846 --> 00:21:13,064 ♪ Make it up as we go along ♪ 449 00:21:13,452 --> 00:21:15,169 Are you okay if I... 450 00:21:15,254 --> 00:21:16,904 It's fine. Go. 451 00:21:16,989 --> 00:21:18,506 ♪ Head in the sky ♪ 452 00:21:18,591 --> 00:21:22,176 ♪ It's okay, I know nothing's wrong ♪ 453 00:21:22,330 --> 00:21:25,246 ♪ Nothing's wrong, oh ♪ 454 00:21:25,331 --> 00:21:27,484 ♪ I got plenty of time ♪ 455 00:21:27,570 --> 00:21:30,451 You gonna lecture me, too, on how I shouldn't be here? 456 00:21:30,537 --> 00:21:31,853 You shouldn't be. 457 00:21:31,939 --> 00:21:33,521 ♪ Oh, you got light in your eyes ♪ 458 00:21:33,767 --> 00:21:35,890 But that's not my call. 459 00:21:36,330 --> 00:21:38,860 It's not decompressing. What do you mean it's not decompressing? 460 00:21:38,945 --> 00:21:40,461 It's too dense, like it's made of... 461 00:21:40,546 --> 00:21:41,955 I don't know what... Cartilage, 462 00:21:42,041 --> 00:21:44,966 small chips of hard calcifications. 463 00:21:45,051 --> 00:21:46,701 Damn it. I can't get it either. 464 00:21:46,786 --> 00:21:47,969 Kill the music. 465 00:21:52,986 --> 00:21:54,252 We need to go in from the front. 466 00:21:54,338 --> 00:21:56,549 Her spine is open. 467 00:21:56,635 --> 00:21:57,778 It's all exposed. 468 00:21:57,863 --> 00:21:58,779 If we move her, 469 00:21:58,822 --> 00:22:01,111 we risk losing function in her forearm and hand. 470 00:22:01,213 --> 00:22:02,315 It's the only way. 471 00:22:02,401 --> 00:22:06,017 Okay, well, let me ask you one question first... 472 00:22:06,103 --> 00:22:07,555 Are you insane? We close up the incision. 473 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:09,339 We flip her onto her side. I go in from the front. 474 00:22:09,424 --> 00:22:11,259 We meet in the middle to decompress and unearth this thing. 475 00:22:11,344 --> 00:22:12,675 So the answer is yes, you are insane. 476 00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:14,462 We'll get a few more peope in here, we can flip her. 477 00:22:14,547 --> 00:22:16,198 And keep her still and not sever her spine? 478 00:22:16,283 --> 00:22:17,832 Not to mention having to break scrub, 479 00:22:17,917 --> 00:22:19,934 - re-drape, rescrub... - Cow-tipping in Kansas! 480 00:22:20,020 --> 00:22:21,376 Dozens of sexless men! 481 00:22:21,462 --> 00:22:22,937 If it were you again on the table, 482 00:22:23,022 --> 00:22:24,048 what would you want? 483 00:22:32,865 --> 00:22:34,368 For the record, I do not like you. 484 00:22:38,746 --> 00:22:40,096 Shut down the gallery. 485 00:22:52,195 --> 00:22:53,795 There you are. 486 00:23:03,114 --> 00:23:06,059 Mom's always been larger than life, you know? 487 00:23:06,710 --> 00:23:10,450 Laughs harder, yells louder than anyone. 488 00:23:10,536 --> 00:23:12,198 She's the life of the party. 489 00:23:12,456 --> 00:23:13,856 Even if it's my birthday party 490 00:23:13,942 --> 00:23:15,567 and she's taking over the dance floor. 491 00:23:17,223 --> 00:23:18,700 Sounds amazing. 492 00:23:18,786 --> 00:23:21,482 I was 16. It was mortifying. 493 00:23:23,965 --> 00:23:25,207 She'd always do that. 494 00:23:25,293 --> 00:23:26,426 She always inserted herself 495 00:23:26,512 --> 00:23:28,700 in every single aspect of my life, you know, 496 00:23:28,786 --> 00:23:30,184 whether I wanted her to or not... 497 00:23:30,286 --> 00:23:33,317 Hell, whether I even knew about it or not. 498 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:36,513 And, um... 499 00:23:40,303 --> 00:23:42,660 Now I can't, uh... 500 00:23:44,989 --> 00:23:48,559 I can't imagine what a room would even feel like 501 00:23:48,645 --> 00:23:52,911 without her in it taking up all that space. 502 00:23:53,879 --> 00:23:59,707 It was different... losing Samuel. 503 00:24:04,895 --> 00:24:07,395 That was more like... 504 00:24:07,813 --> 00:24:10,418 Like my world collapsing around me, you know? 505 00:24:10,504 --> 00:24:12,304 And this, I just... 506 00:24:14,687 --> 00:24:19,223 I feel like... a scared little kid. 507 00:24:23,378 --> 00:24:26,059 Like nothing is safe. 508 00:24:27,587 --> 00:24:28,903 Like the world's upside down 509 00:24:28,989 --> 00:24:31,848 and nothing makes any sense anymore. 510 00:24:32,113 --> 00:24:33,387 Yeah. Yeah. 511 00:24:33,473 --> 00:24:35,489 - I don't like it. - I know. 512 00:24:35,574 --> 00:24:39,239 - I don't like it. - I know. I know. 513 00:24:42,715 --> 00:24:45,567 ♪ Hold on ♪ 514 00:24:45,934 --> 00:24:49,707 ♪ Hold on to yourself ♪ 515 00:24:49,903 --> 00:24:55,129 ♪ For this is gonna hurt like hell ♪ 516 00:24:58,597 --> 00:25:01,315 Okay. Let's rock and roll. 517 00:25:01,598 --> 00:25:06,106 On my count, one, two, three. 518 00:25:09,387 --> 00:25:11,325 Good, good, good. Easy. 519 00:25:13,965 --> 00:25:17,832 ♪ So now you're sleeping peaceful ♪ 520 00:25:18,098 --> 00:25:21,715 ♪ I lie awake and pray ♪ 521 00:25:21,895 --> 00:25:24,714 ♪ That you'll be strong tomorrow ♪ 522 00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:26,090 Let's secure her hips. 523 00:25:26,176 --> 00:25:28,692 ♪ And will see another day ♪ 524 00:25:28,778 --> 00:25:32,121 ♪ And we will praise it ♪ 525 00:25:32,256 --> 00:25:33,606 She's good. 526 00:25:33,692 --> 00:25:37,427 ♪ And love the light that brings a smile ♪ 527 00:25:37,513 --> 00:25:41,332 - Okay, they did it. She's okay. - ♪ Across your face ♪ 528 00:25:41,417 --> 00:25:46,938 ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, hold on ♪ 529 00:25:47,023 --> 00:25:48,989 ♪ Oh, God ♪ 530 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:53,366 ♪ If you're out there, won't you hear me? ♪ 531 00:25:53,796 --> 00:25:57,381 ♪ I know that we have never talked before ♪ 532 00:25:57,466 --> 00:25:59,383 ♪ I know that we have never ♪ 533 00:25:59,468 --> 00:26:00,618 You ready, Bokie? 534 00:26:00,703 --> 00:26:02,379 ♪ Talked before ♪ 535 00:26:02,465 --> 00:26:05,033 - ♪ Oh, God ♪ - Okay. Deep breath, everybody. 536 00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:06,270 - ♪ The one I love ♪ - Scalpel. 537 00:26:06,355 --> 00:26:08,205 ♪ Is leaving ♪ 538 00:26:08,291 --> 00:26:12,303 ♪ Don't you take her when she comes to your door ♪ 539 00:26:12,481 --> 00:26:15,912 ♪ ..door ♪ 540 00:26:20,802 --> 00:26:22,386 Dr. Koracick? 541 00:26:24,951 --> 00:26:26,076 Tom. 542 00:26:27,534 --> 00:26:28,986 I think I'm gonna have trouble 543 00:26:29,072 --> 00:26:31,156 getting around the C7 facet 544 00:26:31,298 --> 00:26:34,057 while keeping the tumor retracted from this angle. 545 00:26:34,143 --> 00:26:35,604 Maybe you could give it a try? 546 00:26:35,729 --> 00:26:39,383 ♪ And love the light that brings a smile ♪ 547 00:26:39,468 --> 00:26:42,070 Please, I could do that in my sleep. 548 00:26:42,156 --> 00:26:43,499 - ♪ Across your face ♪ - Show off. 549 00:26:43,585 --> 00:26:47,090 ♪ Hold on ♪ 550 00:26:47,175 --> 00:26:50,527 ♪ Hold on to yourself ♪ 551 00:26:50,612 --> 00:26:54,364 ♪ For this is gonna hurt like hell ♪ 552 00:26:54,449 --> 00:26:56,166 - Scalpel. - Scalpel. 553 00:26:56,251 --> 00:26:58,769 ♪ Hell ♪ 554 00:27:10,491 --> 00:27:13,062 Is that when you and Richard started talking? 555 00:27:13,226 --> 00:27:14,577 After the funeral? 556 00:27:19,604 --> 00:27:21,351 I tried calling you. 557 00:27:21,827 --> 00:27:23,421 You never called back. 558 00:27:23,718 --> 00:27:24,834 And I worried. 559 00:27:25,013 --> 00:27:28,491 At first, I was just checking in on you. 560 00:27:30,554 --> 00:27:33,602 Mm, Richard and I started... 561 00:27:33,688 --> 00:27:35,296 Talking about a lot of things. 562 00:27:35,690 --> 00:27:38,718 We both had amends to make. 563 00:27:39,127 --> 00:27:41,171 There are so many things 564 00:27:41,312 --> 00:27:43,984 I could say I'm sorry for, Meredith. 565 00:27:44,695 --> 00:27:48,905 But all I really want to say is thank you. 566 00:27:49,445 --> 00:27:50,921 Thank you for what? 567 00:27:52,663 --> 00:27:57,655 For so long, I measured my life 568 00:27:57,745 --> 00:28:02,663 in the things done to me, taken from me. 569 00:28:03,202 --> 00:28:09,163 Now I can see my life for exactly what it is. 570 00:28:09,249 --> 00:28:11,475 Some people have more pain than others. 571 00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:15,046 But no one, nothing, was conspiring against me. 572 00:28:15,226 --> 00:28:18,366 When you gave me a piece of your liver, 573 00:28:18,452 --> 00:28:23,507 you gave me time, precious time. 574 00:28:24,530 --> 00:28:26,984 Time to get your head out of your own ass? 575 00:28:36,384 --> 00:28:39,302 Y... Y... You could say that. 576 00:28:40,757 --> 00:28:45,968 I had a life, Meredith, 'cause of you. 577 00:28:46,342 --> 00:28:52,481 My own real, honest, painful, incredible life. 578 00:28:52,567 --> 00:28:57,210 I just wish you and I could have shared it. 579 00:28:58,577 --> 00:29:02,359 Well, I guess you did try this time. 580 00:29:02,445 --> 00:29:03,728 I just didn't know. 581 00:29:06,385 --> 00:29:07,868 I miss Lexie. 582 00:29:09,312 --> 00:29:11,196 I miss her so much. 583 00:29:11,804 --> 00:29:13,624 Me too. 584 00:29:14,724 --> 00:29:17,843 I'm sorry you lost her. 585 00:29:17,949 --> 00:29:22,585 I know how much it... it meant to you, having a sister. 586 00:29:24,528 --> 00:29:26,374 I have another sister. 587 00:29:27,116 --> 00:29:31,155 But you and Molly, you were never close. 588 00:29:34,498 --> 00:29:36,515 Her name is Maggie. 589 00:29:37,195 --> 00:29:38,601 Oh... 590 00:29:38,853 --> 00:29:41,562 She's brilliant. And kind. 591 00:29:41,937 --> 00:29:45,401 She's the best of Ellis and Richard. 592 00:29:45,765 --> 00:29:50,540 Your... Your mother and Richard had a baby. 593 00:29:56,350 --> 00:29:59,265 At least something good came from all that. 594 00:30:05,880 --> 00:30:09,033 I'm gonna get a humpback operating with you. 595 00:30:09,233 --> 00:30:10,479 I'm already standing on a step stool. 596 00:30:10,564 --> 00:30:11,698 What more do you want from me? 597 00:30:11,783 --> 00:30:12,901 Heels? 598 00:30:13,548 --> 00:30:15,533 Okay, it looks like the tumor 599 00:30:15,619 --> 00:30:16,993 is free of the brachial plexus. 600 00:30:17,085 --> 00:30:18,112 Should we try to pull it out? 601 00:30:18,197 --> 00:30:19,384 Let's do it. 602 00:30:20,293 --> 00:30:22,283 We've lost all the signal from one arm. 603 00:30:22,368 --> 00:30:23,970 The tumor is moving pretty easily. 604 00:30:24,056 --> 00:30:25,448 Check your machine. Could be artifact. 605 00:30:25,533 --> 00:30:28,533 No, there's still a little tension from my side. 606 00:30:28,937 --> 00:30:30,697 I... I think it's coming from the root. 607 00:30:30,806 --> 00:30:32,744 Which means there's no way to remove this without... 608 00:30:32,946 --> 00:30:34,535 Risking paralysis. 609 00:30:37,224 --> 00:30:38,651 If they can't remove the whole tumor, 610 00:30:38,736 --> 00:30:40,390 they're gonna have to do it piecemeal. 611 00:30:40,634 --> 00:30:41,751 But then they risk 612 00:30:41,837 --> 00:30:43,787 leaving some of the tumor behind. 613 00:30:48,577 --> 00:30:50,294 What? 614 00:30:55,223 --> 00:30:56,573 My path pen. 615 00:30:56,658 --> 00:30:58,204 Remove the tumor piecemeal, 616 00:30:58,290 --> 00:31:00,207 and then use the pen to see if you got it all. 617 00:31:00,293 --> 00:31:02,715 Okay, it hasn't cleared FDA process yet, 618 00:31:02,915 --> 00:31:05,931 and it isn't on the market, but I'm telling you, it works. 619 00:31:09,767 --> 00:31:11,988 I really have always liked you, Richard. 620 00:31:12,073 --> 00:31:13,876 No, you haven't. 621 00:31:14,613 --> 00:31:16,596 Yes. Get it. 622 00:31:23,423 --> 00:31:25,665 And that twitch over her right eye 623 00:31:25,728 --> 00:31:27,579 when you switched the ice maker 624 00:31:27,665 --> 00:31:28,798 from cubed to crushed. 625 00:31:28,884 --> 00:31:30,548 "What kind of a monster crushes ice? 626 00:31:30,634 --> 00:31:31,767 It's uncivilized." 627 00:31:31,853 --> 00:31:33,978 Crushed ice was uncivilized. 628 00:31:34,064 --> 00:31:35,783 Taking my last cup of coffee... 629 00:31:35,869 --> 00:31:37,900 - uncivilized. - Uncivilized. 630 00:31:37,986 --> 00:31:40,470 Getting an A- in Chem Lab. 631 00:31:40,556 --> 00:31:42,368 - Uncivilized. - Uncivilized. 632 00:31:42,454 --> 00:31:44,371 She was... 633 00:31:44,758 --> 00:31:45,908 Kind of a tyrant. 634 00:31:45,994 --> 00:31:47,010 But brilliant. 635 00:31:47,096 --> 00:31:48,486 Oh, I can't argue with that. 636 00:31:48,572 --> 00:31:50,486 Terrible driver. 637 00:31:50,595 --> 00:31:52,353 Can't argue with that. 638 00:31:53,212 --> 00:31:55,819 But she was extraordinary. 639 00:31:56,084 --> 00:31:58,158 Yeah. Oh. 640 00:31:59,462 --> 00:32:01,512 Do you regret marrying her? 641 00:32:03,655 --> 00:32:06,517 The entire time she was pregnant with you, 642 00:32:06,603 --> 00:32:08,329 she pretended she wasn't. 643 00:32:08,555 --> 00:32:12,478 I don't know if it was stubbornness or denial. 644 00:32:12,564 --> 00:32:13,900 Maybe both. 645 00:32:14,044 --> 00:32:17,763 Nine months, she had to do everything herself. 646 00:32:17,871 --> 00:32:19,611 And I had to let her. 647 00:32:19,893 --> 00:32:22,986 The night she went into labor, she came home after surgery, 648 00:32:23,079 --> 00:32:27,650 and she just stood in the doorway, wide-eyed. 649 00:32:28,467 --> 00:32:31,079 "We're having a baby, Thatch. 650 00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:35,095 We're having a baby." 651 00:32:39,376 --> 00:32:42,548 As if the idea just hit her, right there. 652 00:32:42,689 --> 00:32:45,607 She... She started to laugh. She couldn't stop laughing. 653 00:32:45,693 --> 00:32:49,392 Laughed all the way to the hospital. 654 00:32:49,571 --> 00:32:52,555 I never heard her laugh like that, 655 00:32:52,751 --> 00:32:56,659 so big, so free. 656 00:32:58,204 --> 00:33:01,064 And I just thought, "Wow. 657 00:33:01,915 --> 00:33:05,968 What a way for you to come into the world." 658 00:33:07,548 --> 00:33:09,532 We weren't perfect. 659 00:33:09,848 --> 00:33:12,900 We weren't even happy a lot of the time. 660 00:33:13,902 --> 00:33:16,587 But I'd marry her all over again 661 00:33:17,207 --> 00:33:20,962 for that night, that laugh. 662 00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:22,767 And you. 663 00:33:24,345 --> 00:33:26,032 And this. 664 00:33:27,774 --> 00:33:31,087 I'd do it all again for this. 665 00:33:39,415 --> 00:33:40,752 How can there still be cancer there? 666 00:33:40,837 --> 00:33:41,987 We've been at this for hours. 667 00:33:42,073 --> 00:33:43,657 It's still lighting up like Christmas. 668 00:33:43,743 --> 00:33:45,860 Let's just keep going. 669 00:33:45,946 --> 00:33:48,264 We'll hit clear tissue eventually. 670 00:33:50,798 --> 00:33:51,915 Signal's fading again. 671 00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:53,221 She's losing function in her arms. 672 00:33:53,306 --> 00:33:55,390 - We've barely touched anything. - Breathe. 673 00:33:55,670 --> 00:33:57,650 We are going in the right direction. 674 00:33:57,978 --> 00:33:59,322 Losing the signal in her other arm... 675 00:33:59,407 --> 00:34:01,321 Okay, stop it! We know! If we keep going, 676 00:34:01,407 --> 00:34:02,942 we cost Catherine her motor function, 677 00:34:03,028 --> 00:34:05,045 her career, her life as she knows it... we know! 678 00:34:16,390 --> 00:34:17,587 Meredith... 679 00:34:17,746 --> 00:34:19,630 Okay, don't try to speak. 680 00:34:20,106 --> 00:34:22,314 But... the closet. 681 00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:24,227 I left something... 682 00:34:24,931 --> 00:34:27,150 I don't need anything. 683 00:34:27,439 --> 00:34:29,150 For your kids. 684 00:34:31,336 --> 00:34:32,618 I wish... 685 00:34:33,657 --> 00:34:36,595 I wish I knew them. 686 00:34:37,025 --> 00:34:40,430 I thought of... I thought of them. 687 00:34:43,627 --> 00:34:45,210 Ahh. 688 00:34:45,915 --> 00:34:49,009 Your hands are so cold. 689 00:34:49,095 --> 00:34:50,244 Sorry, I can... 690 00:34:50,330 --> 00:34:53,181 No, no, no. 691 00:34:53,636 --> 00:34:56,223 Oh, it feels good. 692 00:35:01,691 --> 00:35:07,079 Zola is so smart and so strong. 693 00:35:07,310 --> 00:35:10,400 Yeah? And she keeps me on my toes 694 00:35:10,548 --> 00:35:12,462 every minute of every day. 695 00:35:12,610 --> 00:35:16,595 And Bailey says "funny" before every sentence. 696 00:35:16,797 --> 00:35:19,081 "Funny, I'd like an apple. 697 00:35:19,361 --> 00:35:21,400 Funny, I need pajamas." 698 00:35:21,657 --> 00:35:24,368 It's so cute. 699 00:35:24,798 --> 00:35:28,851 And Ellis... she is brave. 700 00:35:29,170 --> 00:35:32,095 And she's obsessed with hip-hop. 701 00:35:32,834 --> 00:35:38,361 They are exhausting... and amazing. 702 00:35:40,984 --> 00:35:43,329 I wish you knew them, too. 703 00:35:44,555 --> 00:35:47,874 Because they are so, so beautiful. 704 00:36:31,583 --> 00:36:32,815 How... 705 00:36:34,525 --> 00:36:36,242 Easy. Easy, Mom. 706 00:36:36,327 --> 00:36:39,078 How... How... Easy, easy, easy, easy. 707 00:36:39,163 --> 00:36:40,646 Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. 708 00:36:40,731 --> 00:36:41,810 Hey. 709 00:36:41,896 --> 00:36:44,475 - Mm-hmm. - Uh-huh. -I feel that. 710 00:36:44,654 --> 00:36:47,279 Okay. Hold on, hold on. 711 00:36:47,365 --> 00:36:50,982 All right. Well, your reflexes are normal. 712 00:36:51,124 --> 00:36:55,966 My hands and feet move. Whoo. 713 00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:58,240 I'm not dead? With that tumor? 714 00:36:58,326 --> 00:37:00,357 No, you're most definitely not dead. 715 00:37:00,443 --> 00:37:03,318 Oh, I thought for sure they were gonna kill me. 716 00:37:08,107 --> 00:37:09,521 What? 717 00:37:11,806 --> 00:37:13,130 Tell me. 718 00:37:13,235 --> 00:37:15,740 Catherine, when we went in to get the tumor, 719 00:37:16,618 --> 00:37:19,203 it was adherent to your brachial plexus. 720 00:37:19,343 --> 00:37:22,434 We were able to remove about 95% of it, 721 00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:25,418 but we had to leave one nodule behind. 722 00:37:26,497 --> 00:37:30,974 So... radiation? Chemo? 723 00:37:33,126 --> 00:37:35,709 They've had some success with proton beam therapy. 724 00:37:35,795 --> 00:37:37,240 Some? 725 00:37:38,723 --> 00:37:41,763 It's likely, even with treatment... 726 00:37:42,161 --> 00:37:44,498 I'll have to live with this cancer 727 00:37:44,584 --> 00:37:46,115 the rest of my life. 728 00:37:46,663 --> 00:37:50,966 I was sure you'd get it all or kill me trying. 729 00:37:51,052 --> 00:37:52,969 So did we. 730 00:37:53,669 --> 00:37:55,560 Catherine, I'm so sorry. 731 00:37:56,209 --> 00:37:59,685 Sorry? I'm alive. 732 00:38:00,544 --> 00:38:03,130 I can live with this for many years. 733 00:38:03,311 --> 00:38:07,102 People live with cancer. We've all seen it happen. 734 00:38:07,188 --> 00:38:09,012 You're gonna have to get, uh, scans every three months 735 00:38:09,097 --> 00:38:10,988 to make sure the tumor doesn't, uh, grow. 736 00:38:11,074 --> 00:38:12,871 And in between, I'll operate. 737 00:38:13,111 --> 00:38:15,339 - Mm. - And I'll hug my son. 738 00:38:15,425 --> 00:38:16,996 Mm. 739 00:38:17,725 --> 00:38:19,871 Make love to my husband. 740 00:38:19,957 --> 00:38:20,978 Okay... 741 00:38:21,064 --> 00:38:24,535 Chase my Harriet, make mistakes, 742 00:38:24,667 --> 00:38:27,824 and fight about who gets to pick the movie on date night. 743 00:38:31,868 --> 00:38:34,352 You two have given me my life back. 744 00:38:36,001 --> 00:38:37,284 Now what? 745 00:38:37,712 --> 00:38:39,161 'Cause we didn't plan on this. 746 00:38:41,020 --> 00:38:43,488 These two pulled off a miracle. 747 00:38:44,308 --> 00:38:46,816 Miracles aren't always punctuation marks. 748 00:38:46,902 --> 00:38:48,819 But they are worth celebrating. 749 00:38:48,905 --> 00:38:51,222 So we are gonna have that party. 750 00:38:51,350 --> 00:38:54,230 We just might have to wait a couple of months 751 00:38:54,316 --> 00:38:56,166 so I can get on the dance floor. 752 00:38:58,941 --> 00:39:01,253 I love you. 753 00:39:18,465 --> 00:39:20,949 Hey. I heard about the surgery. 754 00:39:21,034 --> 00:39:22,332 Congratulations. 755 00:39:22,418 --> 00:39:23,371 Oh. I know, I know. 756 00:39:23,457 --> 00:39:24,552 You knew I had it in me all along. 757 00:39:24,637 --> 00:39:26,551 Honestly? I was on the fence. 758 00:39:31,301 --> 00:39:32,950 You should be really proud. 759 00:39:33,129 --> 00:39:35,687 There are not a lot of surgeons who could do that. 760 00:39:35,809 --> 00:39:36,899 Which part? 761 00:39:36,985 --> 00:39:38,224 Where I flipped my friend like a pancake 762 00:39:38,309 --> 00:39:40,160 or failed to leave her cancer free? 763 00:39:40,722 --> 00:39:42,293 The part where you saved her life 764 00:39:42,379 --> 00:39:44,247 and her surgical career. 765 00:39:46,591 --> 00:39:48,872 Yeah, that part wasn't half bad. 766 00:39:51,255 --> 00:39:52,622 You should celebrate. 767 00:39:53,465 --> 00:39:54,545 Why don't you get cleaned up? 768 00:39:54,630 --> 00:39:56,420 I'll meet you at Joe's, and I'll buy you a drink. 769 00:39:56,505 --> 00:39:58,823 Uh... w... Can we take a rain check? 770 00:39:58,909 --> 00:40:01,126 I... I'm wiped. And I-I smell bad. 771 00:40:01,212 --> 00:40:05,512 And when you spend money on me, I want to smell good. 772 00:40:05,668 --> 00:40:07,739 Yeah. Okay. 773 00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:08,956 Night. 774 00:40:09,042 --> 00:40:10,590 Goodnight. 775 00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:16,153 ♪ Red lights are flashing on the highway ♪ 776 00:40:16,362 --> 00:40:17,989 When it comes to medicine, 777 00:40:18,075 --> 00:40:21,160 who's to say what is winning or losing? 778 00:40:21,354 --> 00:40:24,272 ♪ I wonder if we're gonna ever get home tonight ♪ 779 00:40:24,358 --> 00:40:26,271 There's just as much value in trying again 780 00:40:26,357 --> 00:40:28,310 as there is in letting go... 781 00:40:28,801 --> 00:40:31,935 - I saved my friend today, David. - ♪ But if you break down ♪ 782 00:40:33,834 --> 00:40:35,490 ♪ I'll drive out and find you ♪ 783 00:40:35,576 --> 00:40:38,654 I didn't think I-I could, and it wasn't perfect. 784 00:40:39,004 --> 00:40:41,488 ♪ If you forget my love ♪ 785 00:40:41,589 --> 00:40:43,560 Your dad was kind of a badass. 786 00:40:44,063 --> 00:40:45,803 ♪ I'll try to remind you ♪ 787 00:40:45,889 --> 00:40:48,357 Letting go of suffering, regret, 788 00:40:48,443 --> 00:40:51,416 - pain, fear. - ♪ And stay by you ♪ 789 00:40:53,328 --> 00:40:57,689 ♪ When it don't come easy ♪ 790 00:40:58,333 --> 00:41:01,783 ♪ When it don't come easy ♪ 791 00:41:09,783 --> 00:41:10,732 ♪ I don't know nothing except change will come ♪ 792 00:41:10,818 --> 00:41:17,267 I operated on a freaking legend's spine today. 793 00:41:18,220 --> 00:41:19,736 And it was terrifying. 794 00:41:19,822 --> 00:41:21,970 And exhilarating. 795 00:41:23,267 --> 00:41:24,908 And imperfect. 796 00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:27,861 ♪ I wonder if we're gonna ever get home ♪ 797 00:41:27,985 --> 00:41:30,697 Mostly terrifying. 798 00:41:30,856 --> 00:41:32,403 Because she's not just a legend. 799 00:41:32,489 --> 00:41:36,108 She matters so much to so many people that I love... 800 00:41:36,213 --> 00:41:37,733 ♪ And all of the signs got blown away ♪ 801 00:41:38,978 --> 00:41:40,479 ♪ Sometimes you wonder if you're walking in the wrong direction ♪ 802 00:41:40,564 --> 00:41:42,281 Most of my life, I have been chasing 803 00:41:42,366 --> 00:41:45,353 the kind of high that I feel right now. 804 00:41:47,404 --> 00:41:49,658 ♪ But if you break down ♪ 805 00:41:49,744 --> 00:41:52,829 I gave a surgeon back her hands today. 806 00:41:52,985 --> 00:41:58,088 I gave a husband his wife, a son his mother. 807 00:42:01,127 --> 00:42:04,220 And I am so incredibly grateful to be sober... 808 00:42:06,172 --> 00:42:08,089 To be present enough to have felt 809 00:42:08,175 --> 00:42:12,767 every terrifying, exhilarating, 810 00:42:14,133 --> 00:42:16,284 imperfect moment. 811 00:42:16,370 --> 00:42:19,244 ♪ When it don't come easy ♪ 812 00:42:19,330 --> 00:42:20,830 Instead of saying someone we love 813 00:42:20,916 --> 00:42:25,838 is battling, beating, fightin, winning, or losing, 814 00:42:26,322 --> 00:42:27,806 why don't we just tell the truth. 815 00:42:27,892 --> 00:42:29,736 ♪ So many things that I had before ♪ 816 00:42:29,822 --> 00:42:31,572 There you go, sweethearts. 817 00:42:32,513 --> 00:42:34,658 - ♪ That don't matter to me now ♪ - We get sick. 818 00:42:34,783 --> 00:42:36,178 We take our medicine... 819 00:42:37,842 --> 00:42:40,126 Wow. So cool. 820 00:42:40,212 --> 00:42:41,810 Where did you get it, Mommy? 821 00:42:41,896 --> 00:42:44,647 Uh, your grandfather, Thatcher. 822 00:42:44,753 --> 00:42:47,474 He wanted you to have it, and he wanted you to know 823 00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:49,244 that he cared about you very much... 824 00:42:49,351 --> 00:42:51,123 Funny, I love it. 825 00:42:51,209 --> 00:42:54,084 Some of us live, some die. 826 00:42:54,195 --> 00:42:57,080 Mommy, are you okay? 827 00:42:58,038 --> 00:43:01,944 - ♪ When it don't come easy ♪ - Yes, Zo-Zo. I will be fine. 828 00:43:02,940 --> 00:43:06,233 ♪ When it don't come easy ♪ 829 00:43:07,802 --> 00:43:09,802 Sync corrections by srjanapala