1 00:00:04,769 --> 00:00:07,904 I don't like questions without any answers, 2 00:00:07,938 --> 00:00:10,328 like "where do we go when we die?" 3 00:00:10,353 --> 00:00:13,002 I mean, I know what happens physiologically speaking, 4 00:00:13,027 --> 00:00:15,488 but beyond that, what really happens? 5 00:00:16,294 --> 00:00:17,420 Anything? 6 00:00:17,445 --> 00:00:19,065 That's what you start asking yourself 7 00:00:19,090 --> 00:00:20,742 when you live on a clock. 8 00:00:20,819 --> 00:00:23,465 All these questions without any answers... 9 00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:25,625 they'll drive you nuts. 10 00:00:26,468 --> 00:00:28,193 That's why I like what I do... 11 00:00:28,218 --> 00:00:30,361 fixing babies, birthing babies. 12 00:00:30,386 --> 00:00:32,720 No ambiguity there, no questions, 13 00:00:32,745 --> 00:00:36,039 just answers... clear, precise, obvious answers. 14 00:00:36,064 --> 00:00:38,856 And life... beautiful new life. 15 00:00:38,881 --> 00:00:39,948 Hope for the future. 16 00:00:39,982 --> 00:00:41,683 God, I miss that. 17 00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:43,807 Morning! 18 00:00:43,832 --> 00:00:47,001 Robbins, are you ever not chirpy? 19 00:00:47,026 --> 00:00:48,202 Does that ever happen? 20 00:00:48,227 --> 00:00:50,328 Are you ever not snarky? 21 00:00:50,353 --> 00:00:51,488 Also, you snore. 22 00:00:51,513 --> 00:00:53,881 I can't crash here again tonight without earplugs. 23 00:00:53,906 --> 00:00:56,246 Okay, so, we have seven cases today. 24 00:00:56,271 --> 00:00:57,859 The first one is in two hours. 25 00:00:57,884 --> 00:01:00,077 Also, it's Friday, so that's MRI day. 26 00:01:00,102 --> 00:01:01,102 You know the drill. 27 00:01:01,136 --> 00:01:04,324 47 minutes of my very limited life-span wasted. 28 00:01:04,349 --> 00:01:06,145 Mm, come on, come on. 29 00:01:06,170 --> 00:01:07,491 God! I'm coming. 30 00:01:07,516 --> 00:01:09,470 - Stop chirping. - Stop snarking. 31 00:01:09,495 --> 00:01:13,029 Whew! After this, we've got the diaphragmatic hernia. Baby's 27 weeks. 32 00:01:13,054 --> 00:01:14,875 We'll do a, um, tracheal balloon occlusion... 33 00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:16,736 hey. Figured you could use this... 34 00:01:16,761 --> 00:01:18,528 Which should, if we're lucky, ensure the blood... 35 00:01:18,553 --> 00:01:20,682 - before the big lecture. - Oh, um, thanks. 36 00:01:20,707 --> 00:01:22,274 Thank you. 37 00:01:22,299 --> 00:01:24,798 Um, they already scheduled 38 00:01:24,823 --> 00:01:27,291 a follow-up procedure on the baby, as well. 39 00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:30,474 You're cultivating quite a bit of buzz, you know? 40 00:01:30,499 --> 00:01:31,572 - Really? - Mm-hmm. 41 00:01:31,597 --> 00:01:34,921 I heard from two hospitals wanting us to record your talk. 42 00:01:36,534 --> 00:01:38,899 But we won't be too close to the due date. 43 00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:41,385 - And if... - I have a lot on my plate right now, 44 00:01:41,410 --> 00:01:44,244 just with, uh, Herman and her tumor. 45 00:01:44,269 --> 00:01:46,224 Uh, her surgery. 46 00:01:46,249 --> 00:01:48,593 I really need to focus... 47 00:01:48,818 --> 00:01:50,052 On the tumor. 48 00:01:50,852 --> 00:01:53,707 Don't need any distractions, and you're... 49 00:01:53,844 --> 00:01:55,566 Very hard to ignore. 50 00:01:55,591 --> 00:01:57,225 Hey, I ju... It was just coffee. 51 00:01:57,250 --> 00:01:58,984 No, I so appreciate the coffee. 52 00:01:59,009 --> 00:02:01,511 Uh, I was just getting some coffee for myself, and... 53 00:02:01,536 --> 00:02:02,770 It's good coffee. It... 54 00:02:02,795 --> 00:02:04,362 It's great coffee. 55 00:02:04,387 --> 00:02:05,657 I, uh... I can... 56 00:02:05,682 --> 00:02:07,513 I can just get my own if... if you... 57 00:02:07,538 --> 00:02:10,239 I mean, you can get your own so easily. 58 00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:12,065 I don't want to get my own coffee. I... 59 00:02:12,090 --> 00:02:15,392 I mean I do. I can. I will. 60 00:02:15,417 --> 00:02:18,046 I... I can get my own coffee all day long. I just... 61 00:02:18,244 --> 00:02:20,078 Owen. 62 00:02:20,419 --> 00:02:23,255 Thank you for bringing me the coffee. 63 00:02:24,219 --> 00:02:25,809 I really like it. 64 00:02:28,108 --> 00:02:29,208 Uh, you're welcome. 65 00:02:29,242 --> 00:02:32,011 So, how's my head? 66 00:02:32,045 --> 00:02:34,179 The tumor seems stable. 67 00:02:34,204 --> 00:02:36,299 I was worried about the inferomedial margin, 68 00:02:36,316 --> 00:02:38,423 but the good news is, there's no sign of growth. 69 00:02:38,448 --> 00:02:40,416 It hasn't invaded the optic nerve yet. 70 00:02:40,441 --> 00:02:41,942 Well, how long till it does? 71 00:02:41,967 --> 00:02:44,269 I need a number, Shepherd. I have things to plan. 72 00:02:44,294 --> 00:02:46,435 About six weeks... Maybe eight 73 00:02:46,460 --> 00:02:49,356 if you go in for the localized radiation treatments I've prescribed for you. 74 00:02:49,381 --> 00:02:51,530 - I'd like for those to start today. - No, no, no, no. 75 00:02:51,565 --> 00:02:53,065 I tried that. Hated it. 76 00:02:53,099 --> 00:02:55,201 Doctor's orders. It is our best chance 77 00:02:55,235 --> 00:02:57,293 to shrink the part of the tumor on your optic chiasm. 78 00:02:57,318 --> 00:02:58,718 - Oh, crap. - Glenda Castillo! 79 00:02:58,743 --> 00:03:00,184 We're headed to surgery, Dr. Bailey. 80 00:03:00,209 --> 00:03:01,342 No time to talk. 81 00:03:01,367 --> 00:03:02,734 But you haven't given me an answer. 82 00:03:02,759 --> 00:03:03,919 Actually, I have. It was no. 83 00:03:03,944 --> 00:03:05,277 But you haven't given me the right answer. 84 00:03:05,302 --> 00:03:06,569 You could at least meet with her. 85 00:03:06,594 --> 00:03:07,761 I've seen the case, okay? 86 00:03:07,814 --> 00:03:10,874 I'm sorry, but I'm working on a very limited time frame 87 00:03:10,917 --> 00:03:13,722 with a very specific list of surgeries to teach Robbins, 88 00:03:13,747 --> 00:03:15,515 and Glenda Castillo isn't one of them. 89 00:03:15,540 --> 00:03:18,266 Okay, well, as a personal favor to me, just me per... 90 00:03:18,291 --> 00:03:19,973 I have no time to make it personal. 91 00:03:19,998 --> 00:03:21,636 It's a no. I'm sorry. 92 00:03:21,661 --> 00:03:23,328 I'll get you some names... good people. 93 00:03:23,353 --> 00:03:24,619 She can see one of them. 94 00:03:26,118 --> 00:03:28,019 Um, sorry. 95 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:46,562 Three down, all these to go. 96 00:03:46,587 --> 00:03:48,697 We've got four months' worth of surgeries up here. 97 00:03:48,722 --> 00:03:51,717 I mean, how are we gonna get four months of surgeries done in eight weeks? 98 00:03:51,742 --> 00:03:53,346 We just do, I suppose. 99 00:03:53,371 --> 00:03:55,504 You'll do the next one yourself. I'll watch. 100 00:03:55,529 --> 00:03:57,499 What? No. No, thank you. 101 00:03:57,524 --> 00:03:58,651 I appreciate the vote of confidence, 102 00:03:58,698 --> 00:04:00,299 but I'm not even actually sure that I know how... 103 00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:01,992 I need to see what you've learned, 104 00:04:02,017 --> 00:04:03,865 what you can and can't do on your own 105 00:04:03,890 --> 00:04:06,736 while I'm still around to fix it when you screw up. 106 00:04:06,761 --> 00:04:07,877 Gee, thanks. 107 00:04:07,902 --> 00:04:09,904 It's not a vote of confidence. It's a necessity. 108 00:04:09,929 --> 00:04:11,463 Training wheels are off, Robbins. 109 00:04:11,488 --> 00:04:12,555 Time is up. What's next? 110 00:04:12,580 --> 00:04:14,147 Uh, your radiation treatment. 111 00:04:14,172 --> 00:04:16,666 Ugh. Radiation hasn't worked yet. 112 00:04:16,691 --> 00:04:19,451 I don't see why it's suddenly supposed to start working. 113 00:04:19,486 --> 00:04:22,120 - Radiation is bull... - Shepherd says that it's necessary. 114 00:04:22,145 --> 00:04:23,690 She's the doctor here. 115 00:04:30,367 --> 00:04:32,149 "Life will out." 116 00:04:33,206 --> 00:04:36,494 The origins and lessons of life and evolution 117 00:04:36,519 --> 00:04:37,686 are long and complex, 118 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:41,731 but what they basically boil down to is, life will out. 119 00:04:42,087 --> 00:04:45,489 Life will always find a way to continue. 120 00:04:45,661 --> 00:04:46,761 Always. 121 00:04:46,796 --> 00:04:49,798 Life... will... out. 122 00:04:51,178 --> 00:04:54,847 This is a massive grade IV astrocytoma. 123 00:04:54,872 --> 00:04:56,470 I want you to take a look at it. 124 00:04:56,875 --> 00:04:58,286 Really look. 125 00:04:58,986 --> 00:05:00,787 Look at its size. 126 00:05:00,812 --> 00:05:03,380 Look at the way it invades healthy tissue. 127 00:05:03,431 --> 00:05:05,532 Look at its vasculature. 128 00:05:05,557 --> 00:05:09,721 It is blood and tissue and flesh. 129 00:05:10,368 --> 00:05:11,737 It's growing... 130 00:05:11,762 --> 00:05:13,796 Adapting to its environment, 131 00:05:13,821 --> 00:05:16,577 struggling to survive, to stay alive. 132 00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:18,451 It is alive. 133 00:05:18,476 --> 00:05:20,258 We don't like to think of it that way, but 134 00:05:20,381 --> 00:05:23,549 it's nested in the womb of a human brain, 135 00:05:23,574 --> 00:05:27,543 feeding on its host, growing and fighting for life... 136 00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:29,027 almost like a fetus. 137 00:05:29,052 --> 00:05:30,190 No, scratch that. 138 00:05:30,215 --> 00:05:32,216 Let's just for science and giggles 139 00:05:32,241 --> 00:05:33,717 say exactly like a fetus. 140 00:05:33,742 --> 00:05:37,081 Because like a healthy fetus, it is thriving. 141 00:05:37,106 --> 00:05:39,487 You know, there are even some types of tumors 142 00:05:39,512 --> 00:05:41,847 that grow teeth, hair... 143 00:05:41,872 --> 00:05:44,374 A stray eye. 144 00:05:46,155 --> 00:05:47,722 Have I repulsed you? 145 00:05:47,757 --> 00:05:49,891 - It's gross, right? - Yeah. 146 00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:52,450 I mean, that is a problem. 147 00:05:52,495 --> 00:05:55,230 Nobody wants something that nasty in their head. 148 00:05:55,975 --> 00:05:59,668 I'd like you for one moment to consider the idea 149 00:05:59,702 --> 00:06:03,114 that, to the tumor, we are the problem, 150 00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:05,485 we are the invader. 151 00:06:05,510 --> 00:06:06,911 We are the danger. 152 00:06:06,981 --> 00:06:09,816 To the tumor, we are the cancer. 153 00:06:10,212 --> 00:06:11,517 And the tumor? 154 00:06:12,193 --> 00:06:16,027 Well, the tumor sees itself as a sweet, cute, fat-cheeked baby 155 00:06:16,052 --> 00:06:17,851 just trying to make its way into the world, 156 00:06:17,876 --> 00:06:20,678 and we want to stop it, destroy it, 157 00:06:20,703 --> 00:06:24,606 tear it from its happy little home like barbarians. 158 00:06:24,961 --> 00:06:26,314 To the tumor, 159 00:06:26,424 --> 00:06:29,326 we are the soulless, murderous monsters. 160 00:06:29,799 --> 00:06:31,404 Why do I do this? 161 00:06:31,709 --> 00:06:34,588 Why do I call it "baby" and talk about killing it? 162 00:06:35,599 --> 00:06:38,501 Because this kind of tumor deserves respect. 163 00:06:39,796 --> 00:06:41,697 It deserves a little humanity. 164 00:06:42,044 --> 00:06:43,788 Charming, isn't it? 165 00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:46,857 They put clouds on the ceiling to distract you. 166 00:06:46,882 --> 00:06:49,784 Least they could do is put something interesting up there, 167 00:06:49,819 --> 00:06:52,021 like porn. 168 00:06:53,646 --> 00:06:55,961 It's not just a tumor. 169 00:06:56,816 --> 00:06:58,384 It's ingenuity. 170 00:06:58,409 --> 00:06:59,509 It's strength. 171 00:06:59,534 --> 00:07:01,302 It's adaptability. 172 00:07:01,327 --> 00:07:02,546 It's poetry. 173 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,634 It's one of God's masterpieces. 174 00:07:05,755 --> 00:07:08,816 It is alive. 175 00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:15,938 Mm. 176 00:07:27,023 --> 00:07:28,490 You okay? 177 00:07:29,207 --> 00:07:30,552 Sure. 178 00:07:31,193 --> 00:07:33,640 And like any living thing, it wants to stay alive. 179 00:07:33,665 --> 00:07:35,166 Like any living thing, 180 00:07:35,191 --> 00:07:37,559 it is going to fight like hell to survive. 181 00:07:37,584 --> 00:07:40,753 And when I saw open that skull and come face-to-face with it, 182 00:07:40,778 --> 00:07:43,579 with that tumor, with that living thing, 183 00:07:43,604 --> 00:07:46,072 it will be almost impossible to remove... 184 00:07:46,097 --> 00:07:47,675 Well, I'll see you after. 185 00:07:50,289 --> 00:07:53,158 Because it would rather destroy the brain that holds it 186 00:07:53,183 --> 00:07:55,651 than go gently into that good night. 187 00:08:12,968 --> 00:08:14,969 It is alive. 188 00:08:16,588 --> 00:08:18,282 And what's it all come down to? 189 00:08:19,300 --> 00:08:20,533 Life... 190 00:08:21,077 --> 00:08:22,385 Will... 191 00:08:22,584 --> 00:08:24,080 Out. 192 00:08:25,815 --> 00:08:28,783 Grey's Anatomy 11x13 Staring at the End 193 00:08:28,818 --> 00:08:32,787 Sync and corrections by Albanda www.Addic7ed.com 194 00:08:37,807 --> 00:08:42,277 So, our fat-cheeked-baby tumor 195 00:08:42,312 --> 00:08:43,879 that's nestled in that brain, 196 00:08:43,913 --> 00:08:45,480 it's a creature of habit. 197 00:08:45,515 --> 00:08:49,059 It has the same routine day in and day out... 198 00:08:49,084 --> 00:08:52,520 to grow, to spread out, to take up space. 199 00:08:52,545 --> 00:08:54,518 That's it. 200 00:08:55,222 --> 00:09:00,294 At this point, our baby tumor is so enmeshed, so invasive, 201 00:09:00,651 --> 00:09:03,219 it's touching virtually every single brain structure. 202 00:09:03,244 --> 00:09:05,359 It's pushed existing tissue aside, 203 00:09:05,384 --> 00:09:08,592 shoved brain matter out of the way to find room for itself. 204 00:09:09,594 --> 00:09:14,009 How do you remove it without destroying the brain around it? 205 00:09:14,043 --> 00:09:16,778 How do you kill the baby without killing the mother? 206 00:09:17,709 --> 00:09:22,059 I stare at these scans, and the tumor stares back at me, 207 00:09:22,267 --> 00:09:24,874 daring me to try to extract it. 208 00:09:25,542 --> 00:09:28,406 I mean, this tumor is bold and brazen. 209 00:09:28,458 --> 00:09:29,825 This tumor thinks it's in charge. 210 00:09:29,859 --> 00:09:32,661 This tumor thinks it owns the place. 211 00:09:32,695 --> 00:09:34,451 I don't have to explain myself to you. 212 00:09:34,476 --> 00:09:36,351 You missed your radiation session this morning. 213 00:09:36,385 --> 00:09:39,098 - I told you, I'm not doing that anymore. - That is not your call. 214 00:09:39,123 --> 00:09:42,373 My tumor, my head... it absolutely is my call. 215 00:09:42,398 --> 00:09:44,745 The tumor will be exponentially easier to remove 216 00:09:44,770 --> 00:09:46,068 after the radiation. 217 00:09:46,093 --> 00:09:47,416 Nicole, please. 218 00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:49,642 Go to radiation! 219 00:09:49,667 --> 00:09:51,963 - I will think about it. - Okay. 220 00:09:51,988 --> 00:09:53,619 The thing about a tumor like this is, 221 00:09:53,644 --> 00:09:55,067 you can't let it intimidate you. 222 00:09:55,271 --> 00:09:57,906 The tumor isn't smarter than you. 223 00:09:58,485 --> 00:10:00,986 You just need a plan of attack. 224 00:10:01,011 --> 00:10:02,553 Here. Feel that? 225 00:10:02,578 --> 00:10:03,869 You must be methodical. 226 00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:05,951 You want to find a spot with just the right amount of give. 227 00:10:05,976 --> 00:10:07,701 That's where you want to cut. Scalpel. 228 00:10:07,726 --> 00:10:09,560 Point of access is key. 229 00:10:09,585 --> 00:10:11,416 - You're up, Robbins. - I know. 230 00:10:11,441 --> 00:10:12,763 I've never done that part before. 231 00:10:12,788 --> 00:10:15,727 So, um, you were really serious about that? 232 00:10:15,752 --> 00:10:17,073 It's time. Make the cut. 233 00:10:17,126 --> 00:10:19,406 - But I don't know... I've never... - Make the cut. 234 00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:29,695 And then you start. 235 00:10:31,788 --> 00:10:33,999 That is the most daunting step... 236 00:10:35,059 --> 00:10:38,401 pushing a blade into that first squishy blob of flesh... 237 00:10:40,337 --> 00:10:42,970 Because the first cut is what sets the tone. 238 00:10:43,999 --> 00:10:48,600 It determines every single move from that point on. 239 00:10:49,561 --> 00:10:52,130 So, you have to be careful. 240 00:10:52,155 --> 00:10:53,522 You have to be sure. 241 00:10:54,576 --> 00:10:56,999 Or you're in trouble. 242 00:10:59,047 --> 00:11:01,415 It's like a... 243 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:03,478 - Just look at them. - Who? 244 00:11:03,503 --> 00:11:05,843 Arizona and Herman... they're practically joined at the hip. 245 00:11:05,868 --> 00:11:07,102 I'll take one of those, too. 246 00:11:07,127 --> 00:11:08,324 Well, she is Herman's fellow. 247 00:11:08,349 --> 00:11:10,401 Isn't she sort of supposed to follow Herman around? 248 00:11:10,426 --> 00:11:13,027 They're laughing all the time, 249 00:11:13,062 --> 00:11:14,832 And Arizona seems so... 250 00:11:15,458 --> 00:11:17,058 Happy... like really happy. 251 00:11:17,085 --> 00:11:20,041 - So? - You seem happy... Ish. 252 00:11:20,066 --> 00:11:22,268 - Why do you even care? - I don't, obviously. 253 00:11:22,293 --> 00:11:23,964 I'm just making conversation. 254 00:11:26,558 --> 00:11:28,782 Don't you guys think it's weird how they're always together? 255 00:11:28,807 --> 00:11:30,145 They're not always together. 256 00:11:30,179 --> 00:11:31,880 - They do bunk up together sometimes. - What? 257 00:11:31,914 --> 00:11:33,414 - Alex. - Robbins has been crashing with Herman. 258 00:11:33,449 --> 00:11:34,883 She hasn't slept at the house all week. 259 00:11:34,917 --> 00:11:35,951 - What?! - Alex. 260 00:11:35,976 --> 00:11:37,176 - I don't mean like that. - They're not together 261 00:11:37,201 --> 00:11:38,924 together, and you know that. 262 00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:40,049 Mm-hmm. 263 00:11:40,089 --> 00:11:42,056 Arizona used to hate her. Now they're having sleepovers? 264 00:11:42,091 --> 00:11:44,549 Well, it's a good thing, right, that they're getting along? 265 00:11:44,574 --> 00:11:46,597 Herman's not exactly the warmest person, so... 266 00:11:47,170 --> 00:11:48,681 When you talk to Derek tonight, 267 00:11:48,706 --> 00:11:51,153 would you ask him something for me without saying it's for me? 268 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:52,500 I don't know that I w... 269 00:11:52,535 --> 00:11:53,902 Just ask him what he'd use 270 00:11:53,936 --> 00:11:56,371 to avoid disrupting the gratiolet radiations 271 00:11:56,396 --> 00:11:58,070 off the geniculate body of the thalamus. 272 00:11:58,095 --> 00:11:59,403 - Why don't you ask him that? - No, no, no. 273 00:11:59,428 --> 00:12:00,962 No, no. That's the point. You ask him. 274 00:12:00,987 --> 00:12:02,043 I can't ask him for help. 275 00:12:02,068 --> 00:12:04,770 I cannot listen to the smugness in his voice. 276 00:12:04,943 --> 00:12:05,910 You can hear it. 277 00:12:05,935 --> 00:12:08,149 He has transcontinental smugness. You know what? 278 00:12:08,174 --> 00:12:10,275 Forget it. I'm fine. I don't need him. 279 00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:11,333 I don't need Derek. 280 00:12:11,358 --> 00:12:12,926 I will figure it out myself. 281 00:12:12,951 --> 00:12:14,585 When did this happen? 282 00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:15,677 She found the perfect rebound 283 00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:18,504 without having to actually find a rebound... 284 00:12:18,529 --> 00:12:20,763 I mean, she just gets all the good times and the fun, 285 00:12:20,788 --> 00:12:22,624 none of the bad times or the mess, 286 00:12:22,649 --> 00:12:24,149 no chance of getting hurt. 287 00:12:24,174 --> 00:12:26,304 You don't even have to wax. It's not fair! 288 00:12:27,554 --> 00:12:30,342 Oh, my God. Am I seriously wishing for a sexless relationship 289 00:12:30,367 --> 00:12:31,734 where I don't have to groom myself? 290 00:12:31,759 --> 00:12:33,773 - Is that where I am now? - It sounds good to me. 291 00:12:33,798 --> 00:12:36,291 - Welcome to my life these days. - You chicks need to get laid. 292 00:12:36,316 --> 00:12:37,801 That also sounds good to me. 293 00:12:38,035 --> 00:12:39,543 Not without the grooming. 294 00:12:39,568 --> 00:12:41,445 It's in there. He can find it. 295 00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:42,870 What, he can't do a little work first? 296 00:12:42,895 --> 00:12:44,283 I like her. 297 00:12:49,485 --> 00:12:50,952 Eddie. 298 00:12:50,987 --> 00:12:53,782 - Excuse me? - Uh, Glenda Castillo, 299 00:12:53,807 --> 00:12:55,875 the patient you and Herman turned down last week, 300 00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:57,777 her husband's name was Eddie. 301 00:12:57,811 --> 00:13:00,179 I lost him six months ago 302 00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:02,994 after he was injured in a head-on collision. 303 00:13:03,019 --> 00:13:04,987 My hands were inside of his body 304 00:13:05,012 --> 00:13:06,646 when his heart stopped beating. 305 00:13:06,671 --> 00:13:08,098 My hands held Glenda's 306 00:13:08,123 --> 00:13:10,539 when I told her Eddie died on my watch. 307 00:13:10,630 --> 00:13:12,864 Three weeks later, she found out she was pregnant. 308 00:13:12,889 --> 00:13:14,356 She's not insured, 309 00:13:14,381 --> 00:13:16,549 but she remembered me and this hospital, 310 00:13:16,574 --> 00:13:17,806 so, she came here 311 00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:19,799 to see if I could give her some prenatal care, 312 00:13:19,824 --> 00:13:21,531 and guess what we found out. 313 00:13:21,556 --> 00:13:24,258 Her baby has a tumor... 314 00:13:24,283 --> 00:13:28,187 a large, dangerous tumor 315 00:13:28,212 --> 00:13:30,647 that's not just messing with the baby's system, 316 00:13:30,672 --> 00:13:32,105 it's messing with hers. 317 00:13:32,246 --> 00:13:34,380 I couldn't save her husband's life, 318 00:13:34,405 --> 00:13:36,252 but I can help save her baby. 319 00:13:36,277 --> 00:13:38,245 I owe this woman that much. 320 00:13:38,270 --> 00:13:41,606 Herman has to take her on as a patient. 321 00:13:41,631 --> 00:13:43,332 Just... just have her meet Glenda, all right? 322 00:13:43,357 --> 00:13:44,724 - Then she'll... - I can't, I can't! 323 00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:46,770 I can't trick her into seeing a patient she doesn't want to treat. 324 00:13:46,795 --> 00:13:48,012 Who's in charge of her schedule? 325 00:13:48,037 --> 00:13:49,882 Who tells her where to go and when? 326 00:13:49,907 --> 00:13:53,959 Who tells her what surgery or post-op or anonymous consult 327 00:13:53,984 --> 00:13:55,919 she should see next? 328 00:13:56,219 --> 00:13:57,253 Uh... 329 00:13:58,497 --> 00:14:00,842 I'm concerned about her blood pressure. 330 00:14:00,867 --> 00:14:03,592 It's increased to 140 systolic in the past week, 331 00:14:03,617 --> 00:14:05,284 and her swelling's gotten worse. 332 00:14:05,309 --> 00:14:06,758 Uh, I used to have ankles. 333 00:14:06,783 --> 00:14:09,055 Now I have balloons with toes. 334 00:14:10,148 --> 00:14:13,797 So, your baby has a large tumor in his lower back. 335 00:14:13,822 --> 00:14:14,952 It's most likely benign, 336 00:14:14,977 --> 00:14:17,512 but because of its size and vascular nature, 337 00:14:17,537 --> 00:14:20,206 it could cause an accumulation of fluids in the baby. 338 00:14:20,231 --> 00:14:22,732 But the tumor can be removed, right? 339 00:14:23,632 --> 00:14:26,137 Dr. Bailey says amazing things about you, 340 00:14:26,162 --> 00:14:27,930 that you're one of the best. 341 00:14:27,955 --> 00:14:29,432 Bailey said that? 342 00:14:29,457 --> 00:14:31,058 How flattering. 343 00:14:31,083 --> 00:14:32,617 That was Glenda Castillo. 344 00:14:32,765 --> 00:14:35,367 I told you no twice now. 345 00:14:35,392 --> 00:14:38,161 And you, how am I supposed to trust you at all 346 00:14:38,186 --> 00:14:40,411 - when you pull something like that? - She didn't do anything 347 00:14:40,436 --> 00:14:42,170 except try to get your help on a patient 348 00:14:42,195 --> 00:14:44,194 who needs your help. 349 00:14:44,219 --> 00:14:46,653 But if you heard her story, if you knew she was... 350 00:14:46,678 --> 00:14:48,160 Is that how Bailey convinced you? 351 00:14:48,185 --> 00:14:50,052 It's a tactic, Robbins, 352 00:14:50,077 --> 00:14:52,979 appealing to your sad, bleeding heart. 353 00:14:53,004 --> 00:14:54,505 Doesn't work with me. 354 00:14:54,530 --> 00:14:55,998 Well, then, let me appeal to your ego. 355 00:14:56,023 --> 00:14:58,191 You walk around here telling anyone who will listen 356 00:14:58,216 --> 00:14:59,342 that you're the best. 357 00:14:59,367 --> 00:15:01,052 Well, then, be the best. 358 00:15:01,077 --> 00:15:03,445 You can save her baby's life, 359 00:15:03,696 --> 00:15:05,697 so save that baby's life! 360 00:15:08,360 --> 00:15:09,994 No. 361 00:15:10,865 --> 00:15:11,995 Ohh. 362 00:15:14,844 --> 00:15:17,208 - What the hell? - Robbins, drop it. 363 00:15:17,233 --> 00:15:19,238 No, I get that... I get that I've seen tumors like that before, 364 00:15:19,263 --> 00:15:20,734 but this can't all be about my education. 365 00:15:20,759 --> 00:15:22,217 I mean, at some point, I have to... 366 00:15:22,231 --> 00:15:24,384 At some point, we have to make decisions and stick to them. 367 00:15:24,409 --> 00:15:26,498 I wish we had time, but we don't. 368 00:15:26,523 --> 00:15:28,804 We have very little control over the time we have, 369 00:15:28,829 --> 00:15:30,378 and we have a plan. 370 00:15:30,403 --> 00:15:31,761 Can't we make an exception? 371 00:15:31,786 --> 00:15:33,812 Can't we just, you know, sort of adjust the plan? 372 00:15:33,837 --> 00:15:35,469 You... fine. You want to? 373 00:15:35,494 --> 00:15:36,843 Adjust the plan. 374 00:15:36,868 --> 00:15:38,187 What are you doing? 375 00:15:38,954 --> 00:15:40,533 Take down one of these cards 376 00:15:40,558 --> 00:15:42,225 so we have time to help Mrs. Castillo. 377 00:15:42,250 --> 00:15:43,450 Which one? 378 00:15:43,475 --> 00:15:45,990 How about Meghan Carlson... congenital airway obstruction? 379 00:15:46,015 --> 00:15:47,463 Her husband's in Iraq right now. 380 00:15:47,488 --> 00:15:49,956 Or Julie Hall... vasa previa. 381 00:15:49,981 --> 00:15:51,976 She went through two years of fertility treatments. 382 00:15:52,001 --> 00:15:53,802 So, pick one. 383 00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,662 Decide which baby doesn't get to live 384 00:15:55,687 --> 00:15:57,491 so Glenda Castillo's does. 385 00:15:57,516 --> 00:15:58,516 Go ahead. 386 00:15:58,541 --> 00:16:01,210 Pick a card. You choose. 387 00:16:06,050 --> 00:16:07,918 That's what I thought. 388 00:16:14,597 --> 00:16:16,711 _ 389 00:16:32,118 --> 00:16:33,485 No. 390 00:16:33,519 --> 00:16:34,929 No. 391 00:16:35,621 --> 00:16:37,222 Get me out! 392 00:16:37,256 --> 00:16:39,344 Get me out of here! 393 00:16:39,692 --> 00:16:40,692 Get me out! 394 00:16:40,726 --> 00:16:42,393 - You have to. - I don't. 395 00:16:42,428 --> 00:16:44,162 The radiation treatments are going to help. 396 00:16:44,196 --> 00:16:45,779 They are gonna shrink the borders of the tumor, 397 00:16:45,804 --> 00:16:47,237 which will make it easier to resect. 398 00:16:47,262 --> 00:16:48,784 It's a minimal gain for you. 399 00:16:48,834 --> 00:16:51,836 I will take what I can get. I am trying to save your life! 400 00:16:51,871 --> 00:16:54,372 You are making me feel like I've already died. 401 00:16:54,406 --> 00:16:56,307 I'm sick. I'm losing my hair. 402 00:16:56,332 --> 00:16:58,633 I refuse to spend the last few months of my life 403 00:16:58,658 --> 00:17:00,126 feeling like a pile of crap. 404 00:17:00,151 --> 00:17:02,877 No more. That's final. 405 00:17:03,048 --> 00:17:05,206 Dr. Stanley, please report... 406 00:17:05,231 --> 00:17:07,506 I am going to give you more than a few months. 407 00:17:07,769 --> 00:17:10,537 I am going to save your life. 408 00:17:10,562 --> 00:17:13,352 And I am about to get up in front of a bunch of people 409 00:17:13,392 --> 00:17:15,460 and tell them how I plan on doing it. 410 00:17:15,494 --> 00:17:17,913 It makes it really hard for me to do that 411 00:17:17,938 --> 00:17:20,038 or even care about doing that 412 00:17:20,063 --> 00:17:21,930 when you don't seem to care at all! 413 00:17:21,955 --> 00:17:24,257 Well, that's your problem. 414 00:17:29,197 --> 00:17:31,498 Well, the word's spreading. 415 00:17:31,523 --> 00:17:33,057 This was a good idea, Hunt... 416 00:17:33,082 --> 00:17:35,583 a master class in neurosurgery. 417 00:17:35,608 --> 00:17:37,542 This is gonna put Amelia Shepherd on the map. 418 00:17:37,567 --> 00:17:38,968 Mm. Unless it fails. 419 00:17:38,993 --> 00:17:40,227 It won't. 420 00:17:40,519 --> 00:17:42,344 If it does... 421 00:17:42,931 --> 00:17:44,843 There's a lesson in that, too. 422 00:17:48,414 --> 00:17:51,181 So, she just spitballs this stuff with you? 423 00:17:51,206 --> 00:17:53,941 It's just the two of you hanging out, talking tumor? 424 00:17:53,966 --> 00:17:55,166 Pretty much. 425 00:17:55,191 --> 00:17:56,925 I want to talk tumor! 426 00:17:56,950 --> 00:17:59,498 - I want to talk tumor so bad. - Shh! 427 00:17:59,757 --> 00:18:02,739 - Oh, my God. Look at that thing - Yeah. 428 00:18:02,775 --> 00:18:06,005 Previous attempts to treat Dr. Herman's tumor with radiation 429 00:18:06,030 --> 00:18:07,898 proved unsuccessful. 430 00:18:08,036 --> 00:18:11,425 I had hoped to use high radioactive doses 431 00:18:11,450 --> 00:18:13,084 to reduce the margins, 432 00:18:13,118 --> 00:18:14,484 but at this juncture, 433 00:18:14,521 --> 00:18:17,623 that course seems to be unrealistic. 434 00:18:18,928 --> 00:18:20,763 But that's not enough to make me quit. 435 00:18:21,298 --> 00:18:26,804 This tumor is fierce and intimidating and aggressive, 436 00:18:27,061 --> 00:18:28,194 but so am I. 437 00:18:32,711 --> 00:18:33,911 Now, the trick to this is, 438 00:18:33,946 --> 00:18:36,347 you can't touch the vessel while you're lasering the mass... 439 00:18:36,381 --> 00:18:38,382 not even a little bit. If you do... 440 00:18:38,417 --> 00:18:40,584 The field fills with blood, obscuring the camera, 441 00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:42,320 and visualization is compromised. 442 00:18:42,354 --> 00:18:45,556 First, I need to see the tumor, all of it... 443 00:18:45,590 --> 00:18:48,426 every margin, every last ripple and ridge. 444 00:18:48,460 --> 00:18:50,394 So, what do you do? 445 00:18:50,429 --> 00:18:51,886 I have two choices... 446 00:18:51,886 --> 00:18:53,831 open her up and stop the bleeding if I can, 447 00:18:53,865 --> 00:18:56,367 or deliver the baby regardless of how early. 448 00:18:56,401 --> 00:18:57,435 Very good. 449 00:18:57,469 --> 00:18:59,811 So, I will employ fluorescein dye 450 00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:02,340 to delineate every border of the tumor, 451 00:19:02,374 --> 00:19:05,509 to help me anticipate every possible problem 452 00:19:05,544 --> 00:19:07,278 before I get to it. 453 00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:08,946 I don't want to leave anything up to chance. 454 00:19:10,415 --> 00:19:12,083 What happened? 455 00:19:12,117 --> 00:19:13,084 The pressure's dropped. 456 00:19:13,118 --> 00:19:14,785 She's in a lot of pain, and she's cramping. 457 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:15,987 It hurts! It hurts, it hurts! 458 00:19:16,021 --> 00:19:18,089 It's okay, Julie. We've got you, we've got you. 459 00:19:18,123 --> 00:19:19,023 She has a vasa previa. 460 00:19:19,057 --> 00:19:20,691 She's scheduled for an ablation tomorrow. 461 00:19:20,726 --> 00:19:22,927 I've been trying to get her pressure back up, 462 00:19:22,961 --> 00:19:24,562 but there is no fetal heartbeat. 463 00:19:26,331 --> 00:19:28,165 Damn it. Where's her husband? 464 00:19:29,601 --> 00:19:31,643 Is that blood?! I'm bleeding?! 465 00:19:31,668 --> 00:19:33,429 - Gown me. - Keep him out of here. 466 00:19:33,454 --> 00:19:35,943 Robbins, you're gonna get this baby out right here, right now. 467 00:19:35,968 --> 00:19:36,988 Here? 468 00:19:37,013 --> 00:19:38,847 We need a C-section tray set up in here. 469 00:19:38,872 --> 00:19:40,363 Call peds. Get an incubator, stat. 470 00:19:40,388 --> 00:19:41,655 Wait! What?! I'm gonna have the baby now?! 471 00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,248 Julie, I'm gonna give you something to calm you down, okay? 472 00:19:44,273 --> 00:19:46,207 I never had to do a crash C on my own before, okay? 473 00:19:46,232 --> 00:19:47,466 - I mean, not like this. - You know what to do. 474 00:19:47,491 --> 00:19:50,205 It's the same three basic steps, just like any other C-section... 475 00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:52,275 Open the abdomen, open the uterus, deliver. 476 00:19:52,300 --> 00:19:53,534 Okay, I'm okay. 477 00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:55,026 Pressure's steady at 100/60. 478 00:19:55,051 --> 00:19:56,585 - Okay, I can do this. - Betadine. 479 00:19:56,610 --> 00:19:57,637 Okay. 480 00:19:58,191 --> 00:20:00,345 - Robbins? - I'll do... I'll do this. 481 00:20:00,370 --> 00:20:01,437 It's fine, Robbins. 482 00:20:01,462 --> 00:20:02,496 I'll do it. 483 00:20:02,521 --> 00:20:03,755 Scalpel. 484 00:20:08,946 --> 00:20:10,313 I'm so sorry. 485 00:20:10,338 --> 00:20:12,272 We did everything we could do. 486 00:20:14,156 --> 00:20:16,424 I'm so sorry. 487 00:20:26,256 --> 00:20:29,158 Good job. Let's go. 488 00:20:34,118 --> 00:20:35,652 Stop crying. 489 00:20:35,686 --> 00:20:37,096 Oh, for the love of... 490 00:20:37,121 --> 00:20:38,508 - Stop crying! - I'm... 491 00:20:38,533 --> 00:20:40,100 Stop it now! Just... 492 00:20:40,851 --> 00:20:42,585 Stop it right now. 493 00:20:47,339 --> 00:20:49,240 There's no time for crying. 494 00:20:50,642 --> 00:20:51,976 We have work to do. 495 00:20:56,522 --> 00:20:57,722 What? 496 00:20:57,747 --> 00:20:59,781 How can you even... 497 00:20:59,806 --> 00:21:01,340 'Cause that's the way it goes, Robbins. 498 00:21:03,573 --> 00:21:05,081 Call Bailey. 499 00:21:05,250 --> 00:21:06,681 Tell her we're on. 500 00:21:16,081 --> 00:21:18,403 _ 501 00:21:21,250 --> 00:21:22,784 _ 502 00:21:24,610 --> 00:21:27,845 Now, arguably, the most important part of the brain 503 00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:30,211 is the part that makes us hope... 504 00:21:31,216 --> 00:21:32,710 Dream... 505 00:21:33,519 --> 00:21:34,811 Imagine. 506 00:21:35,154 --> 00:21:38,022 One singular, almost immeasurable part 507 00:21:38,056 --> 00:21:41,909 is what makes you you... 508 00:21:42,064 --> 00:21:44,199 And me me... 509 00:21:44,663 --> 00:21:47,165 And everyone... Everyone. 510 00:21:47,199 --> 00:21:50,034 It's technically called the fornix, 511 00:21:50,068 --> 00:21:52,610 but I call it the "dream box." 512 00:21:54,620 --> 00:21:57,455 The question is... 513 00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:00,816 What happens when the dream box is being invaded, 514 00:22:00,841 --> 00:22:05,025 when a tumor is so large, so demanding, 515 00:22:05,364 --> 00:22:07,356 it's sucking the dream box dry? 516 00:22:07,793 --> 00:22:09,020 It's taking over... 517 00:22:09,054 --> 00:22:12,264 it's stealing away hopes and dreams. 518 00:22:13,632 --> 00:22:17,193 Imagine, when that tumor is removed, 519 00:22:17,218 --> 00:22:20,264 what... what will actually be left? 520 00:22:21,099 --> 00:22:23,863 Or, rather, who is left? 521 00:22:25,337 --> 00:22:27,063 Anything? 522 00:22:27,851 --> 00:22:29,264 Anyone? 523 00:22:30,709 --> 00:22:32,675 I remember my mom telling me once 524 00:22:32,700 --> 00:22:35,079 that when we die, we go to heaven. 525 00:22:35,113 --> 00:22:37,014 I couldn't picture it. 526 00:22:37,049 --> 00:22:40,251 All I could imagine was what we see in cartoons... 527 00:22:40,285 --> 00:22:43,746 little people in robes with wings, sitting on clouds. 528 00:22:43,771 --> 00:22:46,109 But nobody really knows what's up there, do they? 529 00:22:46,291 --> 00:22:47,291 When I was a kid, 530 00:22:47,326 --> 00:22:49,827 I used to think that we were like dandelions... 531 00:22:49,862 --> 00:22:54,514 like, the part that makes us us would just blow away 532 00:22:54,539 --> 00:22:56,108 and land and grow into... 533 00:22:56,133 --> 00:22:57,734 I don't want to be buried, by the way. 534 00:22:57,759 --> 00:22:59,982 - Have me cremated. - W... Excuse me? 535 00:23:00,007 --> 00:23:01,941 If I survive the surgery but don't wake up, 536 00:23:01,966 --> 00:23:04,701 give me five days... a week, tops... 537 00:23:04,726 --> 00:23:06,026 - then pull the plug. - This is... 538 00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:07,485 We don't need to be talking about this. 539 00:23:07,510 --> 00:23:10,111 If I do wake up but I'm dependent on vents or tubes, 540 00:23:10,136 --> 00:23:11,768 pull the plug then, too. 541 00:23:11,793 --> 00:23:14,294 You know what? You're not... you're not dying. 542 00:23:14,319 --> 00:23:16,145 You're not gonna wake up gorked. Shepherd knows 543 00:23:16,170 --> 00:23:18,010 - what she's doing. She does. - Okay. Sure. 544 00:23:18,035 --> 00:23:19,669 - She does! - I heard you. 545 00:23:22,439 --> 00:23:24,207 That bird is gonna poop on us. 546 00:23:24,232 --> 00:23:25,332 Oh... 547 00:23:25,357 --> 00:23:27,614 - What's next today? - Glenda Castillo. 548 00:23:27,639 --> 00:23:29,206 I'm so glad you brought me back in. 549 00:23:29,231 --> 00:23:31,048 Have a look. 550 00:23:31,836 --> 00:23:33,510 Well, the teratoma has grown. 551 00:23:33,535 --> 00:23:35,151 It's showing early signs of hydrops. 552 00:23:36,412 --> 00:23:39,658 - Is everything okay? - Glenda, your baby's retaining fluid, 553 00:23:39,683 --> 00:23:41,951 which is starting to affect his heart. 554 00:23:41,976 --> 00:23:44,077 I'm recommending we do the surgery tonight. 555 00:23:44,102 --> 00:23:45,136 Tonight? 556 00:23:45,161 --> 00:23:46,628 No, that's way too soon. 557 00:23:46,653 --> 00:23:48,921 The tumor is creating pressure on your placenta. 558 00:23:48,946 --> 00:23:51,080 It's not only endangering the baby, 559 00:23:51,105 --> 00:23:52,903 but now it's putting you at risk. 560 00:23:52,928 --> 00:23:55,363 But my baby wouldn't survive, would he, 561 00:23:55,388 --> 00:23:56,906 if you suddenly had to deliver? 562 00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:58,929 'Cause I'm only 24 weeks along, 563 00:23:58,954 --> 00:24:01,310 and I know that it would help him if he had time to grow, right? 564 00:24:01,335 --> 00:24:02,936 If I could just hold on for a few more weeks... 565 00:24:02,961 --> 00:24:04,437 It's not what's best for you. 566 00:24:04,462 --> 00:24:05,660 I don't care about me. 567 00:24:05,685 --> 00:24:07,722 Glenda, if Dr. Herman thinks that... 568 00:24:07,747 --> 00:24:09,552 No, my husband is dead. 569 00:24:10,117 --> 00:24:12,736 But this baby that is inside of me, 570 00:24:12,761 --> 00:24:15,694 this baby of ours, I cannot risk his life. 571 00:24:15,719 --> 00:24:16,986 I won't. 572 00:24:17,011 --> 00:24:18,354 So, if there is a choice 573 00:24:18,379 --> 00:24:20,743 between helping me or helping my baby, 574 00:24:20,768 --> 00:24:22,101 I choose my baby. 575 00:24:23,852 --> 00:24:26,086 What does she think we're trying to do here? 576 00:24:26,111 --> 00:24:28,112 I am not negotiating with a patient. 577 00:24:28,137 --> 00:24:30,986 I am the doctor. I'm gonna tell her when we're go... 578 00:24:32,351 --> 00:24:33,918 I'm sorry. 579 00:24:33,943 --> 00:24:35,537 - Robbins, what's the hell? - What's funny about this? 580 00:24:35,562 --> 00:24:37,730 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's just... it's just... 581 00:24:37,755 --> 00:24:40,557 it's funny listening to you get so bent out of shape 582 00:24:40,582 --> 00:24:42,233 when this is the exact same thing 583 00:24:42,272 --> 00:24:45,065 that you've been doing to Amelia Shepherd ever since she offered to save her life. 584 00:24:45,090 --> 00:24:46,658 I mean, she has. Exactly. 585 00:24:46,691 --> 00:24:49,052 "We'll do the surgery when I'm ready." 586 00:24:49,077 --> 00:24:51,854 And it's so frustrating. It's torture, and it drives us crazy. 587 00:24:51,879 --> 00:24:54,022 So, it's just fun to watch it happen to you. 588 00:24:54,047 --> 00:24:55,081 It's like divine justice. 589 00:24:55,106 --> 00:24:56,382 Pretend that I'm not here. 590 00:24:56,407 --> 00:24:57,671 Keep going. 591 00:25:00,091 --> 00:25:02,826 I will give Ms. Castillo an extra week, 592 00:25:02,851 --> 00:25:04,685 but I want her admitted. 593 00:25:04,710 --> 00:25:07,138 And if she so much as hiccups funny, 594 00:25:07,163 --> 00:25:09,555 - I'm taking her to surgery. - J... understood. 595 00:25:10,088 --> 00:25:12,790 Hey, thank you for taking her case. 596 00:25:15,891 --> 00:25:17,058 Oh, shut up. 597 00:25:24,217 --> 00:25:25,985 I can't... 598 00:25:31,698 --> 00:25:36,869 How do I access that area of the brain when it's so hidden? 599 00:25:36,894 --> 00:25:39,247 And once I access that area, 600 00:25:39,272 --> 00:25:42,360 even with the perfect tools, the perfect approach... 601 00:25:44,351 --> 00:25:46,425 How do I keep from screwing it up? 602 00:25:49,523 --> 00:25:51,826 If there's edema, it's post-fixed. 603 00:25:51,851 --> 00:25:53,562 It's too narrow, too close the fornix. 604 00:25:53,587 --> 00:25:55,741 If I hit the hypothalamus, game over. 605 00:25:55,766 --> 00:25:58,044 Not gonna work, not gonna work, not gonna work. 606 00:26:01,116 --> 00:26:02,407 Do you want some food? 607 00:26:02,419 --> 00:26:04,237 Have I figured this out yet? 608 00:26:04,262 --> 00:26:05,262 No. 609 00:26:13,729 --> 00:26:15,856 This has never been done before. 610 00:26:15,881 --> 00:26:20,169 All these steps in this order on this kind of tumor 611 00:26:20,194 --> 00:26:22,229 has never been done. 612 00:26:22,254 --> 00:26:24,255 Is that a good thing or a bad thing? 613 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:27,816 Who do I even think I am? Who am I to even try this? 614 00:26:27,841 --> 00:26:29,007 Okay, a bad thing. 615 00:26:34,651 --> 00:26:37,063 Have you called your brother? 616 00:26:40,591 --> 00:26:41,963 I know. You don't need him. 617 00:26:41,988 --> 00:26:44,590 I was just thinking you could, 618 00:26:44,759 --> 00:26:47,361 just to have someone to bounce these ideas off of 619 00:26:47,386 --> 00:26:50,471 who understands this kind of thing the way that you do... 620 00:26:50,496 --> 00:26:52,531 A peer. 621 00:26:53,267 --> 00:26:55,168 He might have a suggestion. 622 00:26:55,193 --> 00:26:56,990 I do not need my brother! 623 00:26:57,015 --> 00:26:59,516 I am not stuck! I am thinking! 624 00:26:59,541 --> 00:27:00,896 I am figuring it out! 625 00:27:00,921 --> 00:27:03,256 I am right on the edge of figuring it out, 626 00:27:03,281 --> 00:27:05,496 of making the breakthrough of a lifetime! 627 00:27:05,521 --> 00:27:06,653 I am this close! 628 00:27:06,678 --> 00:27:08,946 My genius is flying around this room right now, 629 00:27:08,971 --> 00:27:10,808 trying to find a clear path to land on me, 630 00:27:10,833 --> 00:27:12,711 but I can't clear the runway for landing 631 00:27:12,736 --> 00:27:14,303 because I can't find any quiet 632 00:27:14,328 --> 00:27:17,469 because some idiot resident keeps talking to me! 633 00:27:25,624 --> 00:27:28,754 I didn't mean it. I'm tired, and I'm frustrated. 634 00:27:28,779 --> 00:27:30,025 I... 635 00:27:30,434 --> 00:27:32,468 I am so sorry. I just 636 00:27:34,477 --> 00:27:36,912 This tumor is making me crazy. 637 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:38,710 Edwards. 638 00:27:38,735 --> 00:27:41,070 As bad as you want to get that tumor, 639 00:27:41,095 --> 00:27:44,564 that's as bad as I want to watch you get that tumor. 640 00:27:44,685 --> 00:27:48,955 You're tired and frustrated and terrified, but guess what. 641 00:27:48,980 --> 00:27:50,245 I don't give a damn. 642 00:27:50,270 --> 00:27:52,176 You're supposed to be my mentor. 643 00:27:52,383 --> 00:27:54,274 You are my mentor. 644 00:27:54,553 --> 00:27:59,557 I believe in you, I look up to you, I want to be you. 645 00:27:59,756 --> 00:28:02,072 That's an enormous responsibility, 646 00:28:02,097 --> 00:28:04,176 so don't call me names. 647 00:28:04,277 --> 00:28:08,482 And stop pouting because you don't understand what to do. 648 00:28:08,507 --> 00:28:12,944 Be worthy of being believed in, of being looked up to. 649 00:28:13,650 --> 00:28:15,518 Or if you can't actually be worthy, 650 00:28:15,552 --> 00:28:17,397 if I am actually wasting my time, 651 00:28:17,422 --> 00:28:20,078 if there is nothing about you that is special or wise, 652 00:28:20,103 --> 00:28:21,203 for God's sake, 653 00:28:21,228 --> 00:28:23,850 at least have the decency to pretend that there is. 654 00:28:25,187 --> 00:28:28,289 Get it together, Dr. Shepherd. 655 00:28:42,175 --> 00:28:44,694 Get it together, Dr. Shepherd. 656 00:29:04,975 --> 00:29:06,694 _ 657 00:29:15,952 --> 00:29:17,352 Okay, bye. 658 00:29:17,387 --> 00:29:19,621 Bye. 659 00:29:22,119 --> 00:29:25,019 - Hey. Um, how are you? - Uh, good. 660 00:29:25,044 --> 00:29:27,175 How's Dr. Herman? Is she good? Is everything good? 661 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,407 Yeah, I mean, she's killing me with back-to-back surgeries but... 662 00:29:29,432 --> 00:29:31,500 Yeah, and Amelia's plan? You good with that? 663 00:29:31,534 --> 00:29:33,869 - Callie, what are you... - What? 664 00:29:33,903 --> 00:29:35,904 I'm not... I'm just checking in, okay? 665 00:29:35,938 --> 00:29:39,908 I'm just... Seeing how you are and, uh, how, um... 666 00:29:39,942 --> 00:29:41,710 - Callie? - Well, it just seems like 667 00:29:41,744 --> 00:29:43,912 you and Dr. Herman are getting along really, really well, 668 00:29:43,946 --> 00:29:45,714 and you used to complain that she was killing you, 669 00:29:45,748 --> 00:29:47,249 but now you're happy that she's killing you, 670 00:29:47,283 --> 00:29:48,884 and it seems like you really, really like her. 671 00:29:48,918 --> 00:29:50,886 I do. Actually, I do. She's great. 672 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:52,964 - She's... I mean, she's amazing. - And she's sick. 673 00:29:52,989 --> 00:29:55,390 - So, I worry. - Amelia's got it covered. 674 00:29:55,425 --> 00:29:57,959 - She's gonna be fine. - I worry about you. 675 00:29:57,994 --> 00:29:59,060 I know I shouldn't. 676 00:29:59,095 --> 00:30:02,397 I know it's none of my business, but, uh, old habits. 677 00:30:02,432 --> 00:30:04,072 Well, that's, um... 678 00:30:04,934 --> 00:30:06,034 Thanks. 679 00:30:07,970 --> 00:30:10,305 - Oh, I got to go. - Okay, okay. 680 00:30:10,339 --> 00:30:11,373 Wow, that's tall. 681 00:30:11,407 --> 00:30:13,375 Yeah. Really big. 682 00:30:16,846 --> 00:30:19,714 Just so you know, the auditorium is packed. 683 00:30:19,749 --> 00:30:22,050 The fire marshall actually made me move a bunch of people 684 00:30:22,084 --> 00:30:23,552 out to an overflow room. 685 00:30:25,955 --> 00:30:27,622 Amelia. 686 00:30:27,657 --> 00:30:28,864 Just give me a minute. 687 00:30:29,258 --> 00:30:30,859 - Amelia. - Shh! 688 00:30:30,884 --> 00:30:31,918 Hang on. 689 00:30:35,164 --> 00:30:36,898 You can talk to me. 690 00:30:36,933 --> 00:30:38,834 You're wound pretty tight. 691 00:30:39,476 --> 00:30:42,912 I just want you to know you can talk to me. 692 00:30:47,311 --> 00:30:49,813 My whole career, I have been the other Dr. Shepherd. 693 00:30:50,750 --> 00:30:53,321 He's the real one. I'm the other one. 694 00:30:55,284 --> 00:30:57,920 Right now, this plan of mine is theoretical. 695 00:30:58,881 --> 00:31:00,515 It's just talk. 696 00:31:00,540 --> 00:31:01,756 But at some point, 697 00:31:01,781 --> 00:31:03,949 I am going to slice into Dr. Herman's brain, 698 00:31:03,993 --> 00:31:06,862 and I have this sick feeling 699 00:31:06,896 --> 00:31:09,931 that when I face that tumor, 700 00:31:10,881 --> 00:31:14,803 I will discover that I am not just the other Dr. Shepherd... 701 00:31:17,702 --> 00:31:19,896 I'm the wrong Dr. Shepherd. 702 00:31:27,250 --> 00:31:28,381 Hey. 703 00:31:29,018 --> 00:31:31,233 911? What's going on? 704 00:31:34,494 --> 00:31:36,595 Look, I know you've been having me take the lead so I can learn, 705 00:31:36,620 --> 00:31:37,921 but you need to handle this case. 706 00:31:37,946 --> 00:31:39,855 - Why would I do that? - Because it's emergent, 707 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:41,414 and I've never tried cutting umbilical bands. 708 00:31:41,439 --> 00:31:43,175 - First time for everything. - Well... 709 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:44,600 Listen to me, okay? 710 00:31:44,625 --> 00:31:45,926 I'm not ready to take this over yet. 711 00:31:46,035 --> 00:31:47,536 Doesn't matter. 712 00:31:47,570 --> 00:31:49,704 Stop! Stop! 713 00:31:49,739 --> 00:31:51,962 You... You're not hearing me. 714 00:31:51,987 --> 00:31:53,587 It does matter. I'm not ready. 715 00:31:53,612 --> 00:31:55,613 And you think I am? 716 00:31:55,638 --> 00:31:57,873 You think this is easy for me? 717 00:31:57,898 --> 00:31:59,065 You think I'm ready? 718 00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:03,528 I was fine. I got fine with dying. 719 00:32:03,553 --> 00:32:05,854 And then you infected me with your stupid... 720 00:32:05,879 --> 00:32:09,515 with Shepherd and her plan and your stupid hope. 721 00:32:09,540 --> 00:32:12,408 And now it's harder than ever 722 00:32:12,762 --> 00:32:14,805 to hand all this over. 723 00:32:15,523 --> 00:32:16,957 I don't want to. 724 00:32:17,366 --> 00:32:19,605 I'm scared to. 725 00:32:19,792 --> 00:32:21,912 And I'm scared to let go of it, 726 00:32:21,937 --> 00:32:24,105 and it's all your fault, so... 727 00:32:25,230 --> 00:32:28,065 I think the very least you could do is deserve it. 728 00:32:28,090 --> 00:32:31,523 Take over, do well, make me not regret it. 729 00:32:31,548 --> 00:32:32,647 Can you do that? 730 00:32:33,716 --> 00:32:35,083 Please? 731 00:32:35,793 --> 00:32:37,427 This is the part 732 00:32:37,452 --> 00:32:39,920 where things get a little fast and furious. 733 00:32:39,945 --> 00:32:42,914 It is arguably the most dangerous, 734 00:32:42,939 --> 00:32:46,575 most precarious portion of the operation. 735 00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,469 It also needs to happen the fastest. 736 00:32:49,494 --> 00:32:53,464 Every step, every move before this 737 00:32:53,489 --> 00:32:55,424 has laid the groundwork for this very moment, 738 00:32:55,449 --> 00:32:58,718 the moment where I place the radioactive seeds. 739 00:32:58,743 --> 00:33:00,544 It requires precision... 740 00:33:00,569 --> 00:33:02,737 I just need to slip these shears under the band. 741 00:33:02,762 --> 00:33:05,096 And accuracy and speed... 742 00:33:05,121 --> 00:33:07,756 things that do not go together well. 743 00:33:07,781 --> 00:33:09,232 I can't get the last band. 744 00:33:09,257 --> 00:33:10,757 This grip's not flexible enough. 745 00:33:10,976 --> 00:33:12,843 Can you coax it through? 746 00:33:12,868 --> 00:33:15,536 Mm. It's not... no. It won't give. 747 00:33:15,561 --> 00:33:17,602 - You have to cut that last band. - I know. 748 00:33:17,627 --> 00:33:20,362 - Have you tried a smaller scissor? - Mm. It's not the problem. 749 00:33:20,420 --> 00:33:24,023 Imagine picking up little grains of salt 750 00:33:24,166 --> 00:33:25,967 while wearing oven mitts. 751 00:33:26,002 --> 00:33:29,537 That is what I'm doing inside somebody's brain. 752 00:33:29,562 --> 00:33:31,582 - Hand me a glove. - What? 753 00:33:31,607 --> 00:33:33,174 Somebody hand me a glove. Scissors. 754 00:33:33,209 --> 00:33:35,610 There's this thing that we used to do in peds. 755 00:33:35,645 --> 00:33:37,079 I think it'll work. 756 00:33:37,104 --> 00:33:38,638 I just need a more flexible opening, 757 00:33:38,663 --> 00:33:40,194 and I can make it out of a glove. 758 00:33:40,219 --> 00:33:41,686 That's not in my notes, Robbins. 759 00:33:52,901 --> 00:33:55,179 - Are you serious? - It's gonna work. 760 00:33:55,443 --> 00:33:58,212 But once I do it, 761 00:33:58,842 --> 00:34:01,703 once I place the final seed, 762 00:34:02,470 --> 00:34:04,771 well... 763 00:34:05,131 --> 00:34:06,868 It's smooth sailing. 764 00:34:07,310 --> 00:34:09,078 Ha! Did you see that?! 765 00:34:09,103 --> 00:34:12,839 It worked! It... it... it absolutely worked! 766 00:34:16,085 --> 00:34:18,486 'Night, 'night, tumor baby. 767 00:34:18,521 --> 00:34:21,039 It has been lovely, 768 00:34:21,857 --> 00:34:23,158 but we are done. 769 00:34:33,570 --> 00:34:36,806 I'd like to open things up to a few questions. 770 00:34:36,831 --> 00:34:38,265 Yes. 771 00:34:38,574 --> 00:34:40,008 Are you nervous? 772 00:34:40,639 --> 00:34:42,322 Uh... 773 00:34:42,347 --> 00:34:44,572 I'd be crazy not to be. 774 00:34:44,597 --> 00:34:47,566 Yes, of course I'm nervous, but I'm also very excited. 775 00:34:47,894 --> 00:34:50,162 This is history. 776 00:34:50,187 --> 00:34:51,802 This surgery will be history. 777 00:34:53,756 --> 00:34:55,571 How could I not be excited about that? 778 00:34:56,625 --> 00:34:59,778 Excellent, excellent. 779 00:35:00,029 --> 00:35:01,796 You should be very proud of yourself. 780 00:35:04,384 --> 00:35:05,751 Close up now. 781 00:35:05,776 --> 00:35:07,910 Where are you going? 782 00:35:08,471 --> 00:35:12,128 What you're describing is seven different surgeries 783 00:35:12,153 --> 00:35:14,964 all using the hardest techniques you've ever tried. 784 00:35:14,989 --> 00:35:18,545 How long do you anticipate the entire surgery actually taking? 785 00:35:18,589 --> 00:35:20,723 18 hours... 786 00:35:20,748 --> 00:35:22,415 Give or take some hours. 787 00:35:23,646 --> 00:35:25,247 Uh, follow-up question... 788 00:35:25,272 --> 00:35:27,914 do you need a second resident on the case? 789 00:35:27,939 --> 00:35:30,946 Uh, not unless Edwards is planning to bail on me. 790 00:35:30,971 --> 00:35:32,572 You planning to bail, Edwards? 791 00:35:32,949 --> 00:35:34,216 No, ma'am. 792 00:35:40,212 --> 00:35:42,513 Yes, in the back. 793 00:35:42,538 --> 00:35:44,205 Will you have help? 794 00:35:44,230 --> 00:35:46,999 Um... Sorry? 795 00:35:47,024 --> 00:35:48,191 Well, I'm just, uh... 796 00:35:48,216 --> 00:35:50,551 Well, are you gonna be doing this whole surgery yourself, 797 00:35:50,576 --> 00:35:52,344 or is Derek... uh, Dr. Shepherd coming? 798 00:35:52,369 --> 00:35:55,405 I'm... I'm just... I'm just asking. 799 00:35:55,430 --> 00:35:57,487 I mean, given everything, is it a good idea? 800 00:35:57,512 --> 00:35:59,280 Should you be doing this yourself? 801 00:36:01,245 --> 00:36:04,981 Well, I am, so... 802 00:36:06,446 --> 00:36:07,779 Next question. 803 00:36:16,030 --> 00:36:18,136 I need you to scan me. 804 00:36:19,247 --> 00:36:23,428 Something's happening. I'm experiencing symptoms... 805 00:36:23,613 --> 00:36:27,930 fuzziness around the edges, a little like, uh, blinders, 806 00:36:27,955 --> 00:36:33,693 and it's, uh, dark... darker than it should be, I think. 807 00:36:36,533 --> 00:36:38,441 Okay. 808 00:36:40,093 --> 00:36:41,640 Let's go. 809 00:37:15,929 --> 00:37:17,296 - Bailey? - Where's Dr. Herman? 810 00:37:17,321 --> 00:37:19,122 She stepped out. What do you need? 811 00:37:19,147 --> 00:37:21,853 Uh... It's Glenda Castillo. 812 00:37:23,718 --> 00:37:25,085 Hey, I need Herman right now. 813 00:37:25,110 --> 00:37:26,990 Glenda Castillo's baby is in distress, 814 00:37:27,015 --> 00:37:28,448 and Glenda is severely hypertensive, 815 00:37:28,473 --> 00:37:29,906 showing signs of heart failure. 816 00:37:29,931 --> 00:37:31,965 We need to operate on her immediately, 817 00:37:31,990 --> 00:37:33,653 so if you could finish up... 818 00:37:34,451 --> 00:37:35,645 What are you doing? 819 00:37:35,670 --> 00:37:37,671 - Why are you standing there? I... - Arizona. 820 00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:43,334 Oh, God. 821 00:37:44,765 --> 00:37:45,932 It's time. 822 00:37:46,893 --> 00:37:48,401 Now? 823 00:37:52,406 --> 00:37:54,211 I'm gonna go... 824 00:37:56,249 --> 00:37:57,749 Get an O.R. ready. 825 00:37:57,774 --> 00:37:58,915 Okay. 826 00:37:59,666 --> 00:38:00,933 Okay. 827 00:38:03,025 --> 00:38:04,419 You ready for this? 828 00:38:07,261 --> 00:38:09,062 Mm-hmm. 829 00:38:10,474 --> 00:38:11,675 Amelia. 830 00:38:13,165 --> 00:38:14,765 I'll get an O.R. prepped. 831 00:38:16,135 --> 00:38:17,969 You'll inform the patient? 832 00:38:25,266 --> 00:38:27,111 Oh. Robbins. 833 00:38:27,146 --> 00:38:28,579 Surgery's all finished? 834 00:38:28,614 --> 00:38:30,114 Yeah. 835 00:38:32,451 --> 00:38:35,374 I see. 836 00:38:36,188 --> 00:38:37,788 Shepherd's prepping the O.R.? 837 00:38:38,307 --> 00:38:39,924 Yes. 838 00:38:39,958 --> 00:38:44,729 If I had to guess, I'd say the tumor's invaded the optic chiasm. 839 00:38:47,299 --> 00:38:48,736 Ah. 840 00:38:49,168 --> 00:38:50,635 My chariot awaits. 841 00:38:53,138 --> 00:38:54,605 A little privacy, guys? 842 00:38:57,910 --> 00:39:01,112 Did you, uh, need me for something... a patient? 843 00:39:01,146 --> 00:39:02,509 Um, yeah. 844 00:39:02,534 --> 00:39:04,291 Glenda Castillo's baby has hydrops. 845 00:39:04,316 --> 00:39:06,725 Mom is mirroring, and she's going into CHF. 846 00:39:06,756 --> 00:39:08,352 Wow. 847 00:39:08,687 --> 00:39:11,055 Looks like a big day for both of us. 848 00:39:11,089 --> 00:39:13,291 What you need to do first 849 00:39:13,325 --> 00:39:16,227 is try to embolize the vessels fetoscopically. 850 00:39:16,261 --> 00:39:18,496 Make sure her blood pressure is stabilized. 851 00:39:19,095 --> 00:39:20,865 She has you. 852 00:39:21,023 --> 00:39:22,134 Amelia has you. 853 00:39:22,159 --> 00:39:24,760 This is the point where you trust her, okay? 854 00:39:24,795 --> 00:39:27,597 Don't go in without checking Glenda's platelet counts 855 00:39:27,631 --> 00:39:28,863 and crossmatching. 856 00:39:28,888 --> 00:39:31,856 This is the point where you trust her, okay? 857 00:39:32,709 --> 00:39:34,710 All set. 858 00:39:34,925 --> 00:39:36,882 Don't let Glenda's platelet count drop below... 859 00:39:36,907 --> 00:39:38,116 100. I know. 860 00:39:38,141 --> 00:39:39,642 - Will you tie me? - Yeah. 861 00:40:06,436 --> 00:40:07,670 Let's do this. 862 00:40:32,998 --> 00:40:34,549 I never placed much value 863 00:40:34,574 --> 00:40:36,335 in wondering about an afterlife. 864 00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:38,428 My concern was always this life, 865 00:40:38,453 --> 00:40:40,153 what would I do with it? 866 00:40:40,178 --> 00:40:41,711 How would I make my mark? 867 00:40:41,736 --> 00:40:44,538 Be sure, be fast. You don't have half the time you imagine. 868 00:40:44,563 --> 00:40:46,931 Try to ablate all the vessels, but don't wait too long. 869 00:40:46,956 --> 00:40:48,120 Don't be afraid to make that call. 870 00:40:48,145 --> 00:40:50,452 If she's awake, she'll tell you for the 15th time 871 00:40:50,477 --> 00:40:52,162 to save her child's life before hers. 872 00:40:52,187 --> 00:40:53,854 Listen to her, let her say her piece, 873 00:40:53,888 --> 00:40:55,830 - then you do what needs to be done. - I don't think... 874 00:40:55,855 --> 00:40:57,871 I don't... I don't know... I don't know if I can do this. 875 00:40:57,896 --> 00:40:59,263 - I can't. I can't do this. - You can. 876 00:40:59,288 --> 00:41:01,256 - Nicole. - You will. 877 00:41:02,235 --> 00:41:04,636 Let's get you inside now, okay? 878 00:41:04,789 --> 00:41:07,324 I wanted to break new ground. 879 00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:17,228 I wanted my life, my brain, my existence... 880 00:41:19,712 --> 00:41:22,213 To mean something. 881 00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:29,054 Hey, hey, hey, You're gonna be fine, okay? 882 00:41:29,079 --> 00:41:31,581 Amelia's got this. You've got this. 883 00:41:31,866 --> 00:41:34,835 The thing that I never really thought about, though, 884 00:41:34,860 --> 00:41:37,495 the thing I never really wrapped my brain around 885 00:41:37,520 --> 00:41:38,887 until now was... 886 00:41:42,063 --> 00:41:43,263 Wait, Robbins. 887 00:41:43,288 --> 00:41:44,689 No. 888 00:41:44,714 --> 00:41:45,981 Don't you dare. 889 00:41:46,006 --> 00:41:47,806 Don't you dare say it, Nicole. 890 00:41:47,831 --> 00:41:50,833 In order to do that, in order to be remembered, 891 00:41:50,858 --> 00:41:53,910 in order to leave something significant behind... 892 00:41:54,355 --> 00:41:55,855 Time to go. 893 00:42:11,345 --> 00:42:13,713 You have to leave. 894 00:42:13,965 --> 00:42:19,766 Sync and corrections by Albanda www.Addic7ed.com