And it was so scary,
seeing Derek lying on the floor bleeding like that.
So scary.
It feels good just to, you know, get that out,
you know?
Thank you.
I feel like I'm...
Ready to go back to work.
It doesn't happen often.
Lightning usually gets it right the first time.
Okay, let's, uh...
Talk more about that tomorrow.
come on.
Do you need a-a tissue or...
A hug or something?
Go hug yourself.
When you're hit with 30,000 ampers of electricity,
you feel it.
Morning.
It can make you forget who you are.
Just... just...
Stay calm. Breathe. Take some deep breaths.
We're... we're just married.
And we're just gonna get up and go to work like always.
I've got this under control. Now...
now you need to eat this, a little multigrain,
and then we're just gonna go to work.
Work is what you need right now, okay?
We're gonna get a little blood on those hands.
That'll feel good. Okay? Let's just get up, get naked,
get in the shower, have a little morning soapy sex,
then I'm gonna wash your hair.
I've always wanted to wash your hair.
It can burn you, blind you, stop your heart...
Sounds big. I'm betting m.V.C.
Multiple m.V.C. Or an apartment fire.
When is the staring gonna stop?
As soon as the novelty wears off. Just ignore them.
Owen washed my hair.
And he told me to eat this grainy nut bar.
And he booked me into surgery this morning.
He is in charge of me. I'm a bride, and I'm going with it.
But trauma guy didn't clear you. Yeah,
but he said he'll figure that out.
Yes. Okay, I am the crazy one.
I am the one who freaks out and screams at people...
Like that.
Go gawk at each other for a while.
Are you okay?
Would everybody please just stop asking if I am okay? Okay?
And cause massive internal injuries
no? Still?
I resorted to tears.
I wore bad mascara so he wouldn't miss them.
What... what did Derek say?
Oh, I will be avoiding him today.
So you don't have to talk to him about the baby thing?
No.
Oh. Because you left him in the pokey.
Yeah.
But for something that happens in only a millisecond...
Did you feel different?
You know, after you scribbled on the post-it?
I mean, you're supposed to feel different, right?
- Oh, well, it takes take. Give it some time. - Okay.
I mean, your marriage is filled with secrets and felons.
I mean, why am I asking your advice?
It can change your life forever.
- Dr. Shepherd, the chief is looking for you. - I know.
- You missed the wedding last night. - I know.
- You smell like ***. - I know.
Mm-hmm-hmm-hmm. How was the wedding?
It was fine. I'm sorry you missed it.
Yeah, well, I was busy getting an incarceration record.
Do you know what that means?
It means you drive too fast. Oh, God.
Derek, you smell like... - yeah, I know what I smell like.
I have go to the pit.
They cleared you for surgery?
No, but I can still do consults.
So sorry. Bye.
We're not done talking about this.
Oh, God. All right. Did a bus crash?
Okay, I'm not saying rip out walls.
I'm saying throw some paint up on 'em.
You know, soften it up. Yang decorated the place for her,
and it's just a little harsh and frowny.
Okay. I'm gonna stop you right there,
'cause Yang doesn't decorate.
I decorated that place. It's my frowny place.
I meant modern and edgy.
If it's gonna be our place,
I just need it to be a little more smiley.
Ugh. My God.
I... frowny?
Edgy.
Wh... watch it!
Sorry.
Karev?
Dr. Bailey?
You still have that bullet in your chest?
Uh, oh, yeah. It worked its way to the surface.
It's fine. We leave bullets in people all the time.
It must hurt. Does it hurt? Uh, nope.
- Does it hurt when I do this? - Ow! Damn!
It is not fine.
It is foreign, and it has no business being in your body.
Get it out, Karev, or I'll see to it that you won't operate
until you're operated on.
Andrew Perkins hasn't signed off on her.
You disagree with him?
No. Keeping residents out of the O.R. until they're ready
is the right approach for most of them, but not for Cristina.
She won't feel like herself
until she's back in surgery again.
- You know Yang. - I do.
And you want to start her on an ex vivo heart reconstruction?
This is a once-in-a-lifetime
it is a hell of a lot of pressure is what it is.
Well, she operated on...
I mean, she saved Derek Shepherd with a gun to her head.
I don't think that pressure is the issue for her.
We owe her this, Richard, and she needs it.
Put her back in the game.
Linda Cotler, age 51,
has been here three times in the last eight years
for removal of malignant myxomas from her heart.
But we won't be doing that again.
No, by removing both atria,
and hopefully all the cancerous cells,
you won't have to keep coming back here.
Hello, Dr. Yang. Nice to see a familiar face.
Finally, someone we know.
Mrs. Cotler was a patient of Dr. Burke's.
- You assisted on her last myxoma removal of course. - Of course. Hi.
- You were getting married, weren't you? - Sorry?
Well, got married. I mean, last night, actually.
You and Dr. Burke?
Sorry?
Last time we were here,
- he said you two were getting married. - Oh, yes.
No. That... that didn't happen.
Oh.
What a shame. He went on and on about you.
But you did get married?
We did, last night. Yes, we did.
Oh.
Well, nice to see you again.
Well, uh, sit tight,
and we'll be back in with some forms for you to sign,
and then we'll take you up.
Thanks, Dr. Altman, and congratulations to you two.
Thank you.
Okay, multiple burn victims.
Two with paralysis, three with vision loss,
one, uh, blown eardrums, and one dislocated hip.
- House fire? - Explosion?
- Car wreck? - Uh, act of God.
Act of God?
Yeah, lightning strike.
All that from one lightning strike?
One lightning strike, eight victims.
Took out a whole flag football team.
God was in a mood today.
How did it strike all of 'em?
Well, they're mostly flash burns,
so it probably hit one of them
then conducted off onto the rest.
Lexie.
T.M. Rupture, trauma one.
I'll see you in there.
Tell me something.
When a person gets out of the nut house..
What's the appropriate amount of time to wait before you propose?
What? Long.
Longer. Long... a long time.
Not now.
Specifically, how long?
Have you seen my friend Kerry?
She's... she's a girl. Sh-she's the only girl.
- Whoa. Whoa. - You've just got some ferning here.
It's superficial. It's where the electrons entered the skin.
Well, what about my arm? I still can't feel my arm.
- Sit forward. - Hi.
Uh, hi. You changed.
Yeah, and showered, twice, thanks to you.
This is Russ.
He was struck by lightning while playing flag football,
and he's complaining of paralysis in his left arm.
Can you move your fingers for me?
Yeah, see, I couldn't do that when I first got here.
It's probably just transitory paralysis,
which is mon with lightning strikes.
- Can you feel that? - Little bit, yeah.
We're gonna keep watching you,
but your arm should come back to normal in a couple of hours.
You know they almost revoked my driver's license?
Can somebody please check on Kerry for me?
Happy to. Right away.
Hey, we're still not done talking about this.
Okay, wiggle your toes for me.
I still can't. Am I gonna be in a wheelchair?
We're gonna take you in for a C.T.,
but hopefully, it is just temporary, from the lightning.
Couple of your friends have it, too.
- They're already starting to get some feeling back. - Okay.
- Try not to worry. - Hey, Kerry. A friend of yours, Russ Gammie,
- is asking about you. - How's Warren Griffith?
Is he okay? Did he ask about me?
- Which one is Warren? - Excuse me. Excuse me. I...
- who's this, Russ or Warren? - Mitch?
Mitch now?
Hey, have you seen Warren? Is he okay?
Kerry, I gotta say this.
We both could've died out there.
That lightning bolt was like a one-in-a-million shot,
so I gotta take one, too.
I love you, Kerry, and if we get through this,
I want you to know,
I will love you forever.
What?
Sir, I'm sorry. If you're not being treated,
then you're gonna have to go to the waiting room.
- We'll... we'll keep you posted. - Kerry, can you hear me?
Yeah, I can hear you fine.
I just didn't want him to know that I heard that.
You're a popular girl.
No. I'm sure he's just overexcited.
It is like a one-in-a-million thing.
Actually, it's more like a 1-in-6,250 kind of thing.
Lightning kills between 150 to 300 people every year in the U.S. alone.
Lexie.
Well, no, I mean, it's... it's still rare.
I mean, it's not, like, say, handgun death.
- I mean, that's... that's 1 in 325. - Lexie.
You okay?
Yeah. No, I'm saying- I'm saying she's lucky.
That's... you know, hey, yay, you.
Can someone just please check on Warren for me?
I need to know if he's okay. Is Warren your boyfriend?
No. He's...
No.
Okay.
Well, you've got two burdrums,
- but they will heal themselves, too. - Great. Thank you.
Does that mean there's no surgery? Can I go?
'Cause Dr. Shepherd's here, so he might have something.
Maybe you should stick with me.
Kerry will need a workup.
I'm sorry. Why is this better than what Dr. Burke did?
Dr. Burke's approach was conservative and correct
for the first few surgeries.
This is radical and risky, but...
well, it sounds like it's gonna kill her.
Linda's heart wall has grown weaker with every surgery,
so there are greater odds of cardiac rupture.
This may be her last chance.
Paul... honey, every two years,
we come here, they cut me open,
and I watch it take ten years off of your life.
I can't do it anymore.
And neither can you.
What about you?
Do you think this is the best idea?
Oh, I'm not, um...
because what you and Dr. Burke did,
it's kept her with me so far.
If this was your husband, would you let Dr. Altman
tear apart his heart?
Yes.
An aggressive approach is your only option.
This is what you want.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
We'll see you in there.
Oh. What are these?
Choices.
They're all beige.
No, they're all subtle.
Look, pastels and earth tones.
If you look closely, that's blue,
that's green, that's yellow...
to take the edge off all the chrome and concrete.
What do you think?
I think I don't want to live in an Easter basket.
I know. You really want to live in the batcave.
But meet me halfway.
Uh, yes. Schultz, Kerry? Yes, thank you.
Okay, uh, my patient's scans are up.
And, uh, seriously...
They're all beige to me.
W-well, then it shouldn't be hard to pick one.
I'm looking for Warren Griffith.
That's me.
Oh. I feel kind of queasy.
You've got a little fever. That may be why.
You got hit the hardest.
Looks like it went into your neck and came out your foot.
And you're saying it bounced off me and hit everyone else?
I took out the whole team?
It's not like it's your fault.
It kinda feels that way. I don't remember any of it.
How about my friend Kerry? Is she okay?
She's wondering the same thing about you.
She what? She asked about me?
Specifically?
Well, what did she say?
Are you people in junior high?
I almost told her. I tried to. I...
- I'm gonna tell her. - What are you talking about?
Kerry. I tried to tell her I-I love her, but her...
her ears are all messed up and- - ah!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. You gotta sit down. - Where are you going?
- I gotta tell her. I get to tell her. - G-guys, look,
leave her alone. All right? She coulda died out there.
And besides, she's, like, mine.
No, I'v been working up to this for a year.
No, no, no, you've gotta sit.
She's mine, and I love her.
I've been working up to this for a year.
- You need to come back here and sit down! - Popular girl.
Oh, my God. Thank you.
Yep, C.T. looks clear. No damage to your spine.
- Which means I can go? - It means you should observe her.
Guys, you can't be in here.
Everybody, shut up. Shut up.
Okay, Warren. You talk.
Kerry, I...
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
Page Bailey!
Warren, you have a perforation...
a hole... somewhere in your bowel.
- We're gonna have to take you up to surgery. - Tell Kerry I'm sorry.
Tell her I'm sorry I hit her with lightning.
Hey, don't you worry.
No, she's just the sweetest, funniest... she's just...
- just please make sure she's okay. - Okay. We will.
We're gonna take care of you now.
All right, who do I have? Who's free?
- I'm free. I'm good. I'll go. - He's my patient. I'll take him.
Ow! Book an O.R. you can observe.
I'm fine, and I'm free.
- B... what are you doing? - Nothing.
Other Grey, are you free to scrub in?
Absolutely. I... I'm available,
'cause you haven't been cleared for surgery, right?
April, if we're gonna be friends...
- You have to stop doing that. - Sorry. Habit.
I'm standing right here. Kepner, go prep him.
Okay. I'll see you up there.
I'm fine.
Well, great. Then you can keep an eye on Kerry.
I'll resect both atria...
And build new ones out of bovine pericardium.
And during reconstruction,
Dr. Hunt will stay with Linda, using a human donor aorta
to prepare the vessels for reimplantation.
And all of this in just four hours?
We have to be fast. We all set?
Let's go.
All right. Prep her and page me when she's ready
sure.
Cristina.
Are you excited?
Yes, absolutely.
Good. Good.
The fear of going back in is worse than actually doing it.
It's just getting back on the horse is all it is.
This is one hell of a honeymoon, right?
Incision looks great.
Hey, I hear you and Torres are shacking up.
Uh, uh, yeah.
Do I sound more excited than you?
No, no. I am. I am.
How's it going with the hot, hot trauma counselor?
I have to say...
It's great.
The conversation never stops,
and I feel, um...
I don't know. I feel good whenever I see him.
No heart murmur. Good girl.
What do you talk about? What's he like?
He's, um... well, he likes to, uh...
I guess I-I mostly talk,
and he mostly listens.
He's... he's an amazingly good listener.
Well, he should be. It's what he gets paid for.
Yeah.
Warren?
You love Warren?
Warren's bald, Kerry.
I know that, Mitch.
You guys don't love me.
I'm a girl who's down with flag football,
so you think you love me.
Plus, we got struck by lightning,
so that's...
Nice. You made her cry.
Oh, crap. You know, sorry.
You know, Warren's a good guy.
He could probably get a hairpiece or something and...
she's crying because everything's changed.
Okay? Lightning struck, and everything changed.
You were her team.
She was one of you, and... and now you're just...
you're looking at her differently.
Um, n-no.
I'm crying because I'm worried about Warren.
Could you please find out if he's okay?
Really?
This is what I'm cleared to do.
I'm cleared to solve this puzzle.
Don't buy a vowel, you idiot.
Scarlet pimpernel.
How did you...
there was one "c" and an "m."
Have you talked to Derek yet about the...
today's not the day.
Right. He just got out of the joint.
Let him ease back into society.
You ready?
You up for this? Up for what?
Teddy's rebuilding a woman's atrium out of a sack of cow meat.
But you're not nervous at all?
You're lucky. I get to watch an intestinal perf repair.
Bailey won't let me operate till I get this bullet out.
I'll take it out.
- I'll cut it out right now. - You sound like a junkie.
What the hell is a pimpernel?
Kerry wants to know how Warren's doing?
Intestinal perf. Going to surgery.
I'm never gonna operate again.
Everyone thinks I'm gonna carve my initials into a patie.
I'll never operate again because one man thinks I'm crazy.
Hey, guys, look at this. Look at this.
A bystander's cell phone captured the shocking end
to a flag football practice in lawton park this morning.
Oh! Oh! Oh, my...
Ooh. We've got that amazing footage,
plus all your news traffic and weather,
- coming up after this. - Oh, my God. She never saw it coming.
No. No. No, no, no.
$50 says she back in the cuckoo's next by lunch.
Hey, how was your night in jail?
You shank someone right off the b?
You gotta let the other cons know not to mess with you.
That's not funny.
They almost charged me with reckless endangerment.
I'm sorry. What?
You mean that's where you've been all morning,
- in jail for reckless endangerment? - Nobody was endangered.
I can't have this, Derek. I wot. Now...
have you ever been over 120 miles an hour before?
Richard, have you ever been over 80? It's fun.
It's really fun. I mean, especially when you go
through a corner like that at that speed, and...
and you're not sure if the rear end's gonna stick or not,
and you lose control, and th you put the throttle down,
and the car corrects a little bit,
and you take it to the limit and you don't lose control,
you just grab it. Have you ever done it?
Uh, uh, no, Derek, no.
You want to? I'll take you.
You should. It's... really great.
Let's go right now. Let's do it. Come on.
- I'd like that. - Yeah? Right? Good. We're going. Oh.
You need to help me. I need your help. Hey.
- What? Okay. - She's paralyzed, and it's not gonna go away.
- She's not gonna get any better. - Lexie, hold on. You're all right.
No, n-not me. It's Kerry Schultz.
She got hit outta nowhere,
and it's not gonna get any better.
I need you to listen to me.
Look, this has nothing to do with that. She's...
no, just shut up and please listen to me.
Make sure she's all right.
I'm trying.
120 miles an hour.
I'm glad you're back,
that we're gonna be in there together.
It makes me a little less freaked out
is what I'm saying.
Is this gonna become a thing...
you sharing all your sad, scared feelings
because we almost got shot together?
There it is.
Now I know you're back.
This boy got it bad. Okay, throw a stitch in there.
Suction.
Staph infection, which causes cellulitis,
an abscess, possibly mrsa,
which could lead to sepsis and death.
Uh, I'm sorry. Where are you seeing all of this?
In Dr. Karev's chest
if he doesn't have that bullet removed.
I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.
- Can I leave now? - No, you can stand right there
to make sure you don't get into anyone else's O.R.,
not until you're lead-free.
All right.
The heart is ready.
Okay. Here we go.
Start the clock. Dr. Yang...
Take the heart, please.
Badass.
All right. Here we go.
Excising the right atrium.
Welcome back, Dr. Yang.
Thank you.
See?
You went down before the lightning even struck.
Oh, my God. Warren. I never even saw him coming.
Is he okay? He's in surgery now.
Kerry, your new scan shows an epidural hematoma.
It's blood in your spine that's compressing your spinal cord.
- We didn't see that before? - Probably too small to see,
and it's been bleeding for hours.
It's an easy procedure to relieve the pressure.
And I'll walk again?
You'll be out on the field in no time. Book an O.R.
- I'll see you in there. - F-for an actual surgery?
Yes.
Thank you.
Oh, so stupid.
All this time... I never told him.
And I-I had all these reasons, you know?
And... they seemed like good reasons
until we all almost died.
I was worried about, what, about shaking up the team?
It's flag football. We play once a week.
God, I'm an idiot.
I thought you were in surgery.
Yeah, the guy pulled through.
Is Lexie okay?
Why don't you ask yourself?
She doesn't need me talking to her.
Well, you're the one who ended it.
Yeah, it ended the way it always ends.
I get close to the chick, the chick goes crazy.
Rebecca and Izzie, my mom...
I'm a lightning rod for this crap.
You're not that special.
Lexie's not crazy.
She had a crazy thing happen to her,
and her reaction was pretty normal.
And Izzie had brain cancer.
Rebecca... she was crazy,
but that was the facial reconstruction trauma.
You're not a lightning rod, Alex.
You're just a guy who's been through a lot of crap.
I wish I had a scalpel right now.
Junkie.
- Time, please. - 2 hours and 42 minutes.
We're behind. Dr. Hunt, where are you at?
- Putting in the aortic graft. - This tissue is more than I need.
Dr. Yang, trim this pericardium, please.
3 centimeters.
Okay.
- Avery, give me some irrigation in here, please. - Sure.
Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
All right. Are we all right? It's all right. It's all right.
It was just a tray. The aortic cannula is dislodged.
- Avery, some suction in here, please. - Hunt, talk to me.
I need a purse string in the aorta.
Avery, get me some more visualization in here, please.
- Get in there. - Yang, come help me. Yang?
Cristina?
Cristina, talk to me.
Oh, damn it. Grab the aortic cannula.
Hold it there.
Cristina, you are okay.
Can you get up?
Avery, I need that tissue now.
- Is it usable? - No.
Aah! No! No!
Time, please.
Time! Uh, 2 hours, 45.
All right, Avery, call down to the pharmacy
and get another piece of tissue, please.
No, don't call. Cristina. Cristina, you go.
Go now and get one.
Run. Go.
Look, I'll just go. I got it.
The dura is pulsatile.
Good catch, Dr. Grey.
Thank you, and, um, thank you for listening to me
and for not being afraid of me.
Nobody's afraid of you.
Mark's keeping me chained to his service.
He's keeping me out of surgeries.
Because he's afraid for you. So he hovers.
Other people might lock you in a cell overnight
to be urinated on by a meth hea.
But it all comes from the same place.
Oh, you... you-you can't be in here.
But we're friends now, so I'll just shut up.
Good girl.
Dr. Grey, you shouldn't be in the O.R.
Cristina.
I can't be in here.
I can't.
Okay, so let's go. Let's get out of here.
I can't... I c- I can't feel anything.
I know.
Come with me.
No, no. I... I can't move.
I can't move my legs.
I can't... I can't feel anything.
F-f-feel my hand. Take my hand.
Do you feel that?
Okay.
You're okay.
We're gonna go when you're ready.
- Okay? - Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
So you tell me when you're ready, okay?
Okay. Okay.
Is it over?
How is she?
Oh, I'm... I'm sorry.
No, no. No, no... I-I... she's fine. Uh, the doctors are still working,
and someone will be out when they're finished.
You're wrong.
Sorry?
There's no time to wait.
People get struck by lightning.
People die.
My best friend got shot, Torres.
Why are you telling me to give it time
when there's no guarantee that time is gonna be there?
I'm... not gonna wait around to be happy anymore.
All right. Listen, this is something that you and I do.
We skip steps.
Okay, I pushed Arizona to have a baby,
and I almost lost her
because I skipped a bunch of steps.
But then I went back, and now she's moving in...
And ruining my apartment.
Look, I'm saying, proposing might be too much,
especially if she's not herself right now.
I know who she is, and if she's going through her worst right now,
I wanna go through it with her.
She makes me happier than...
Anything I've ever known.
And if I can have a part in... in making her happy again,
that's all I want to do.
That's all I want to do for the rest of my life.
All right.
All right. Go.
Go. Tell her that. But just like that.
Is she dead?
She's fine. She'll be fine.
Can you give us a minute?
You were wrong.
You were wrong about everything.
I know. I'm sorry.
Hey, I heard about Cristina. Is she all right?
No, she's not all right. No one's all right.
And that idiot is clearing everyone for surgery
like they're fine, and they're not fine.
Stop. Stop. I need to talk to you.
Just leave it alone, Derek. It was one night in jail.
You drive too fast. Just forget about it.
I don't want to talk about that. Don't worry about that.
Don't worry about it? All I do is worry all the time.
I spend every minute of every day worrying
that I'm gonna get a phone call
that you've wrapped your car around a pole.
That's why I left you jail, so that just for a little while,
I would know that you weren't dying
like you were dying on that table.
That's what I think about
every time you pull out of the driveway.
I'm right here. I'm okay.
We're okay.
I was pregnant... that day.
I was pregnant, and I lost it.
You didn't say anything.
- I coulda helped you. - If you want to help me,
your driving is something you can control.
Just do that. Just do that.
Okay. Okay.
What happened in the O.R., we couldn't have seen that.
I-I can't...
I can't do it.
You said I could do it.
I know. I know. I... I thought you were ready.
You've never not been ready.
Cristina, I know what you're feeling.
I don't feel anything.
I can't be in there.
And if I can't be in there,
I don't know where I'm supposed to be.
You're supposed to be here. You're my wife.
You can just be here.
I'm sorry.
You up for a visitor?
Kerry?
Oh, my God. Warren?
Are you okay?
Um, they... they told me
that I slammed you really hard on the field and...
oh, it's okay.
Accidents happen. It's... it's football.
I'm fine.
Well, they also told me that I...
I got you all struck by lightning.
That's... I...
that's...
I just... I wanted to say, I'm sorry.
I'm not.
I love you.
I've been in love with you forever.
Dr. Grey, can you please push me a-a little closer?
Lightning doesn't often strike twice.
It's a once-in-a-lifetime thing.
Even if it feels like the shock
is coming over and over again...
You paged me?
I did. I have a surgery.
You're actually gonna let me near a patient?
You are the patient.
Get in there and get on that table.
I don't need a reminder of this thing.
I'm gonna carry that day around with me
every day for the rest of my life
whether I want to not.
Now they've plastered over every bullet hole in this building.
I don't need a reminder every time I look at you.
And I'm tired of bullying you, so I am asking you,
please, get in there and get your shirt off.
Yes, ma'am.
Eventually...
The pain will go away,
the shock will wear off...
Oh, hey. You ready to go?
I, uh, I pushed our reservation.
Do I talk too much?
I'm enjoying you and... and this.
And I feel good when I'm with you,
but... it occurs to me, well, that's your job...
I mean, to come in here and to listen to people talk
and to make them feel good, and I just...
I want to be sure that I'm not using you for that, you know,
and that I'm not doing all the talking
and the... and the good feeling
and that I'm... I'm... I'm not treating you like a... like a...
well, like a... like a shrink.
'Cause I'm enjoying this.
Now you talk.
Well...
Listening to you is not work.
I'm happy to talk, but I have listened a lot today.
I talked a lot, too.
And so for now, I'd like to say...
I'm enjoying this, too.
And, uh... maybe we can both not talk for a while?
Okay.
Yeah.
And you start to heal yourself...
Did you know that Webber went over my head
and cleared Yang for your O.R.?
We... we really don't have to... to talk.
Come here. Yeah?
Yeah.
Lexie.
Did I forget to clean something?
No. I just need to talk to you.
No... you don't, though.
I know that you want to be here,
but you don't have to.
W-wait.
I went through a rough patch, and you helped me,
and I appreciate that.
But I am moving out of it, and you won't let me.
You know, you're treating me like I am a basket case.
And... and... and everyone is watching you,
and they're believing you.
I had a good day today.
I saved a girl today. I did that.
I am a good doctor, and I don't deserve
for people to think that I am anything less than that.
So could you please just leave me alone?
Can you do that? Can you just leave me alone?
You got it.
To recover from something you never saw coming.
Charles was a good guy.
He was funny.
Reed... well, she was kind of messed up,
but she wasn't a bad person.
I just don't...
I don't know why...
I shouldn't just get to walk away, you know?
I don't know why we made it either.
We just have to find a way to be grateful.
Son of a bitch.
Agreed.
Paint it beige.
You got a girl...
You love who loves you back.
Paint it whatever stupid color she wants.
But sometimes, the odds are in your favor.
50% of marriages end in divorce,
so between the two of us,
you and McDreamy should be fine.
I thought it would fix me.
That's not why he married you.
Well, he didn't marry me. He married a corpse.
I'm dead inside.
I told Derek.
About the miscarriage, I told him.
You got married, Cristina, for better or for worse.
This is the worse part.
The thing is, there will be better parts.
You should go back.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Cristina...
You don't feel nothing.
All right?
You didn't feel nothing today.
You felt scared. You were terrified.
And you felt anger. You were angry at me.
And after what you've been through,
you're allowed, all right?
That's what you should be feeling. I know.
Bee when I was there, I felt all those things,
and I... I took it all out on you.
And you were patient, and you were kind,
and you stayed through it all because you love me.
You love me.
So, uh...
You can be scared with me,
or you can be pissed with me or at me.
I don't care, 'cause I'm gonna stay through it all.
I'm not going anywhere, Cristina.
I'm not going anywhere without you.
Let's go home.
I had already fixed her before you came,
but... that was a nice speech.
If you're in just the right place
at just the right time...
You can take a hell of a hit...
I lost a baby,
I almost lost my husband,
and my best friend may never recover.
So I don't care what you do. Clear me or don't clear me.
I have no control over any of it.
I'm giving up.
Well...
That sounds like a good plan.
You're cleared for surgery, Dr. Grey.
And still have a shot at surviving.
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