1
00:00:02,462 --> 00:00:06,121
I've seen a lot of surgery
residents come and go in my time.

2
00:00:06,156 --> 00:00:09,722
And they're all addicted
to surgery.

3
00:00:09,757 --> 00:00:12,814
It comes before
food, before sleep,

4
00:00:12,849 --> 00:00:15,521
it becomes the most
important thing.

5
00:00:15,556 --> 00:00:17,825
- What?
- Nothing.

6
00:00:18,650 --> 00:00:20,776
Well, go away!

7
00:00:21,034 --> 00:00:22,935
You look nice.

8
00:00:22,969 --> 00:00:25,204
Go away.

9
00:00:25,238 --> 00:00:28,707
The only thing.

10
00:00:28,741 --> 00:00:33,378
What they don't know
is that living on that high...

11
00:00:33,413 --> 00:00:35,347
Can eat them alive.

12
00:00:35,381 --> 00:00:37,282
I can't do it.
of course you can.

13
00:00:37,317 --> 00:00:39,085
Oh, my god. I'm
gonna hurl again.

14
00:00:39,086 --> 00:00:41,811
Okay, please don't, 'cause I just got
the last of the puke out of your hair.

15
00:00:41,846 --> 00:00:44,014
Why do I have to do this?
I'm not a public speaker.

16
00:00:44,049 --> 00:00:46,099
It's not my thing. God,
I hate derek shepherd.

17
00:00:46,134 --> 00:00:48,694
All you have to do is talk
about being a great surgeon.

18
00:00:48,728 --> 00:00:52,397
To a giant room full of people...
From a giant stage.

19
00:00:52,432 --> 00:00:54,499
Oh, god.
With a microphone.

20
00:00:54,534 --> 00:00:57,002
Some make it through.

21
00:00:57,036 --> 00:01:00,572
They come out
on the other side.

22
00:01:00,607 --> 00:01:05,244
They survive
with their sanity intact.

23
00:01:07,847 --> 00:01:10,415
They become... Better doctors

24
00:01:10,450 --> 00:01:14,519
And stronger people.

25
00:01:14,554 --> 00:01:18,090
I didn't.

26
00:01:18,124 --> 00:01:20,292
I broke.

27
00:01:20,326 --> 00:01:22,194
I didn't kill anybody.

28
00:01:22,195 --> 00:01:26,298
And I give thanks
for that every day.

29
00:01:26,332 --> 00:01:28,734
But I hurt people,

30
00:01:28,768 --> 00:01:31,069
And scared the hell
out of myself.

31
00:01:33,106 --> 00:01:36,842
I am 45 days sober today.

32
00:01:36,876 --> 00:01:38,443
I am richard,

33
00:01:38,444 --> 00:01:43,982
And I am a grateful
and recovering alcoholic.

34
00:01:50,857 --> 00:01:52,824
I was told
if I went to rehab,

35
00:01:52,859 --> 00:01:55,494
My job would be waiting for
me. pending board approval.

36
00:01:55,528 --> 00:01:56,928
I'm sorry, richard.

37
00:01:56,929 --> 00:02:00,032
You know, maybe they'll
reassess in a few months.

38
00:02:00,066 --> 00:02:03,101
I've been authorized
to offer you a position

39
00:02:03,136 --> 00:02:06,371
As an attending
general surgeon.

40
00:02:06,406 --> 00:02:08,473
You want me
to come work under you?

41
00:02:08,508 --> 00:02:10,342
Yes, that's the stipulation.

42
00:02:10,343 --> 00:02:12,477
Thanks for the offer,
but, no.

43
00:02:12,512 --> 00:02:14,413
I'll figure
something else out.

44
00:02:18,484 --> 00:02:21,753
Richard, it's lecture day,
and I have an open spot.

45
00:02:21,788 --> 00:02:24,122
Lecture day?
You brought that back?

46
00:02:24,157 --> 00:02:26,224
Look, I understand if you
don't want to come back.

47
00:02:26,259 --> 00:02:28,593
But if you're really
gonna leave this place,

48
00:02:28,628 --> 00:02:32,264
Don't leave it the way you did.
Give one last lecture.

49
00:02:34,936 --> 00:02:39,358
Transcrypt by www.addic7ed.com

50
00:02:40,273 --> 00:02:41,974
Good morning.
good morning.

51
00:02:41,975 --> 00:02:43,509
Good morning, everybody.

52
00:02:43,510 --> 00:02:45,010
Good morning.

53
00:02:45,011 --> 00:02:46,845
I'm excited.

54
00:02:46,846 --> 00:02:48,514
are you excited?

55
00:02:50,450 --> 00:02:52,418
This is a, uh,
teaching hospital.

56
00:02:52,452 --> 00:02:54,353
We learn a lot by doing.

57
00:02:54,387 --> 00:02:57,056
We can also learn-
we should also learn-

58
00:02:57,090 --> 00:02:59,024
From other people's
experiences.

59
00:02:59,059 --> 00:03:00,859
Their losses

60
00:03:00,860 --> 00:03:02,661
Will save you losses.

61
00:03:02,662 --> 00:03:05,464
Their mistakes
will save you mistakes.

62
00:03:05,498 --> 00:03:08,167
Their victories
will inspire yours.

63
00:03:08,201 --> 00:03:10,869
Let's pay close attention.
This is gonna be good.

64
00:03:10,904 --> 00:03:12,871
Dr. Miranda bailey.

65
00:03:12,906 --> 00:03:15,374
whoo!

66
00:03:19,879 --> 00:03:22,347
Good morning, everyone.
good morning.

67
00:03:25,385 --> 00:03:26,652
Ow.

68
00:03:26,653 --> 00:03:28,720
Morning, dr. Yang.

69
00:03:28,755 --> 00:03:30,789
What the...

70
00:03:30,824 --> 00:03:33,425
If I have to stand here,
you have to listen.

71
00:03:33,460 --> 00:03:34,860
Eyes forward.

72
00:03:34,861 --> 00:03:36,962
Answer a question right,
you get a chocolate.

73
00:03:36,996 --> 00:03:39,364
Doze off,
you get beaned in the face

74
00:03:39,399 --> 00:03:42,367
Ask dr. Yang.
My aim is exceptional.

75
00:03:42,402 --> 00:03:44,303
2003...

76
00:03:44,337 --> 00:03:47,039
I'm three days
into my intern year.

77
00:03:47,073 --> 00:03:48,507
Anyone?

78
00:03:48,508 --> 00:03:50,209
Alicia tatum,

79
00:03:50,210 --> 00:03:52,144
Status post-oophorectomy
three months ago,

80
00:03:52,178 --> 00:03:54,913
Now presents with fever
and nonfocal abdominal pain.

81
00:03:54,948 --> 00:03:57,583
Okay.
What does her workup show?

82
00:03:57,617 --> 00:04:00,219
multiple stones and wall
thickening. Excu-excuse me?

83
00:04:00,253 --> 00:04:02,921
Multiple gallbladder stones
and wall thickening.

84
00:04:02,956 --> 00:04:04,690
Would you recommd we do it
open or laparoscopically?

85
00:04:04,691 --> 00:04:06,425
Laparoscopically.

86
00:04:06,459 --> 00:04:09,328
uh, who said that?

87
00:04:09,362 --> 00:04:11,196
Who-who said that?

88
00:04:11,197 --> 00:04:13,097
Uh...

89
00:04:13,099 --> 00:04:14,800
Sir.

90
00:04:14,801 --> 00:04:16,701
Mm.

91
00:04:17,403 --> 00:04:19,838
You've, uh, had
a pretty rough go of it, huh?

92
00:04:19,873 --> 00:04:21,406
Nothing helps the pain

93
00:04:21,407 --> 00:04:23,842
I've seen more doctors
than I can count.

94
00:04:23,877 --> 00:04:27,212
Hopefully
we'll be the last... Eight.

95
00:04:29,149 --> 00:04:31,650
We're gonna get
to the bottom of this, okay?

96
00:04:31,684 --> 00:04:34,920
Let's prep her f surgery.

97
00:04:36,956 --> 00:04:38,856
You.

98
00:04:39,993 --> 00:04:42,194
Uh, uh, mandy.

99
00:04:42,228 --> 00:04:44,663
Mandy? That's what
you're going with?

100
00:04:44,697 --> 00:04:47,599
Boy, your parents really
wanted you to work for it, huh?

101
00:04:47,667 --> 00:04:50,369
Draw some blood and take her
for her pre-op x-ray.

102
00:04:50,403 --> 00:04:53,772
Uh, uh, well, I was wondering
- blood draw is too much for you?

103
00:04:53,806 --> 00:04:56,942
No. I can draw blood.
I- I-I just wanted-

104
00:04:56,976 --> 00:04:58,844
You don't have wants or needs.

105
00:04:58,845 --> 00:05:01,213
You're an intern-the bottom
of the surgical food chain.

106
00:05:01,247 --> 00:05:02,814
I am a resident.

107
00:05:02,815 --> 00:05:05,317
I've been here three years.
You've been here three days.

108
00:05:05,351 --> 00:05:07,653
Do the math. Draw her blood.

109
00:05:07,687 --> 00:05:09,955
is she shaking?

110
00:05:09,989 --> 00:05:11,256
Hmm?

111
00:05:11,257 --> 00:05:13,792
She's definitely shaking.

112
00:05:13,826 --> 00:05:16,128
okay. Oh, she's
doing her pee dance.

113
00:05:16,162 --> 00:05:18,730
She does that
when she has to pee.

114
00:05:18,765 --> 00:05:22,000
Okay, well, is she
gonna pee right now? Mm.

115
00:05:22,035 --> 00:05:24,203
oh. No, no, no.

116
00:05:24,237 --> 00:05:26,638
That's not the right...

117
00:05:26,673 --> 00:05:28,340
um...

118
00:05:29,542 --> 00:05:30,676
Okay.

119
00:05:32,345 --> 00:05:33,712
Beautiful.

120
00:05:33,713 --> 00:05:35,147
Um...

121
00:05:35,148 --> 00:05:37,549
"in my third year
as a resident, I was"-

122
00:05:37,584 --> 00:05:40,752
can't hear you!
speak louder, please!

123
00:05:40,787 --> 00:05:43,689
"in mthird year
as a resident, I...

124
00:05:43,723 --> 00:05:46,625
"was presented
with a patient named sunder..."

125
00:05:48,494 --> 00:05:49,728
"atluri,

126
00:05:49,729 --> 00:05:52,130
A 28-year-old grad..."

127
00:05:54,100 --> 00:05:56,235
"student from india."

128
00:05:58,805 --> 00:06:01,473
Uh, hey. I'm from ortho.
I was paged.

129
00:06:02,875 --> 00:06:05,210
You were paged by me.
Alex karev.

130
00:06:05,245 --> 00:06:07,062
You have to put
me on this case.

131
00:06:07,063 --> 00:06:08,880
um, here's a news flash,
overly enthusiastic intern guy.

132
00:06:08,915 --> 00:06:11,550
I don't have to do anything.
Oh, come on.

133
00:06:11,584 --> 00:06:13,652
You seem like a cool person.
You don't know me.

134
00:06:13,686 --> 00:06:16,154
Well, you look like
a cool person.

135
00:06:16,189 --> 00:06:18,123
I need some cool cases.
Oh.

136
00:06:18,157 --> 00:06:19,958
Ever since the elevator thing
and heart guy, it's just...

137
00:06:19,959 --> 00:06:21,760
Wait, that was you?

138
00:06:21,794 --> 00:06:24,162
You're
the heart-in-the-elevator guy?

139
00:06:25,632 --> 00:06:28,533
Sure. Let's go with that.

140
00:06:28,601 --> 00:06:30,385
You're not at all
how I pictured you.

141
00:06:30,386 --> 00:06:32,170
What's that supposed to mean?

142
00:06:32,205 --> 00:06:34,172
I heard the story-
the heart in the elevator.

143
00:06:34,207 --> 00:06:36,541
It was basically "rudy,"
you know-dorky guy makes good.

144
00:06:36,576 --> 00:06:39,111
But you're not dorky.
You're hot. Maybe I was dorky

145
00:06:39,145 --> 00:06:41,046
Before I saved
the cop in the elevator.

146
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,115
Maybe my unbelievable skill
under pressure

147
00:06:43,149 --> 00:06:44,716
Transformed me completely.

148
00:06:44,717 --> 00:06:46,184
Hmm. Did it?

149
00:06:46,185 --> 00:06:48,085
Does that turn you on?

150
00:06:50,156 --> 00:06:53,859
no. But this does.

151
00:07:00,667 --> 00:07:03,402
the chief.

152
00:07:10,310 --> 00:07:12,311
Um...

153
00:07:12,345 --> 00:07:15,247
Good-good morning.

154
00:07:15,281 --> 00:07:17,816
Once up on a time...

155
00:07:17,850 --> 00:07:21,620
Long before
I was chief of surgery,

156
00:07:21,654 --> 00:07:24,623
Even before
I was an attending,

157
00:07:24,657 --> 00:07:27,926
I was a resident right here
at seattle grace,

158
00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:29,828
Just like you.

159
00:07:29,829 --> 00:07:33,532
You learn from everything
in your residency-

160
00:07:33,566 --> 00:07:36,268
The patients, the nurses,

161
00:07:36,302 --> 00:07:38,870
The attendings.

162
00:07:38,905 --> 00:07:43,108
But you don't realize how much
you learn from each other.

163
00:07:45,011 --> 00:07:47,179
1982-
you were all in diapers.

164
00:07:47,213 --> 00:07:49,581
Give me the chart on
23-14. Yes, doctor.

165
00:07:49,615 --> 00:07:52,517
So, dr. Russell, I hear
you shot a 74 last week.

166
00:07:52,552 --> 00:07:55,020
You should come to my club when
you have a day off. Here you go.

167
00:07:55,054 --> 00:07:57,022
I used to play out there
with your father.

168
00:07:57,056 --> 00:07:59,424
We'll see if you measurep.
Oh, I'd love to, sir.

169
00:07:59,459 --> 00:08:02,194
We get any path back yet?
Nothing's grown out of the cultures.

170
00:08:02,228 --> 00:08:04,896
I checked them this morning,
sir. I went to the lab myself.

171
00:08:04,931 --> 00:08:07,232
So, dr. Russell,
is he still febrile?

172
00:08:07,266 --> 00:08:09,000
where is it?

173
00:08:09,001 --> 00:08:11,737
Where's
that damn crash cart?

174
00:08:11,771 --> 00:08:13,805
I was checking his wound
when he went into s.V.T.

175
00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:16,375
Th respiratory distress.
I can cardiovert him out of it.

176
00:08:16,409 --> 00:08:19,411
Charge the paddles to 100. Charge
paddles? What the hell is going on here?

177
00:08:19,445 --> 00:08:21,880
He's here for a hernia surgery. What's
happening? Look, this is no job for a nurse.

178
00:08:21,914 --> 00:08:24,449
I'll take it from here. You
know very well I am not a nurse.

179
00:08:24,484 --> 00:08:27,552
Back off.

180
00:08:27,587 --> 00:08:30,155
Clear.

181
00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:36,461
dr. Ellis grey-

182
00:08:36,496 --> 00:08:38,463
2- time
harper avery award winner

183
00:08:38,498 --> 00:08:41,400
And my colleague
on this case-

184
00:08:41,434 --> 00:08:43,802
A case that changed my life.

185
00:08:45,805 --> 00:08:48,640
Look around.

186
00:08:48,674 --> 00:08:51,610
The biggest inflnces
in your life

187
00:08:51,644 --> 00:08:54,346
Are sitting next to you
right now.

188
00:08:59,018 --> 00:09:01,253
This is gonna get
more interesting.

189
00:09:01,287 --> 00:09:03,522
yeah.

190
00:09:09,723 --> 00:09:13,059
The late dr. Ellis grey
was known as a groundbreaker,

191
00:09:13,093 --> 00:09:14,494
A lion.

192
00:09:14,495 --> 00:09:16,496
She was the best
this hospital

193
00:09:16,530 --> 00:09:19,398
Or most hospitals
had ever seen.

194
00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:22,535
But back then,
she was known as "sugar"

195
00:09:22,569 --> 00:09:25,471
Or "nurse"

196
00:09:25,506 --> 00:09:28,074
Or nothing at all.

197
00:09:31,879 --> 00:09:33,846
And he's getting sicker
a instead of better.Ir,

198
00:09:33,914 --> 00:09:37,150
You people better
figure out why, and fast.

199
00:09:43,390 --> 00:09:46,025
guess it's just
you and me, kid.

200
00:09:46,059 --> 00:09:47,760
Surprise, surprise.

201
00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:49,228
oh, crap.

202
00:09:49,229 --> 00:09:51,464
Oh, come on.

203
00:09:51,498 --> 00:09:53,699
Oh, come on. Come on.

204
00:09:55,068 --> 00:09:56,936
Hmm!

205
00:09:56,937 --> 00:09:59,472
Come on, come on, come on.
Just talk.

206
00:09:59,506 --> 00:10:01,140
Hmm?

207
00:10:01,141 --> 00:10:03,342
Just... Tell us
what happened.

208
00:10:05,379 --> 00:10:08,614
Okay.

209
00:10:11,018 --> 00:10:13,186
Um...

210
00:10:13,220 --> 00:10:17,957
There was, uh, this patient.

211
00:10:17,991 --> 00:10:20,493
He wanted to get
his clubfoot fixed.

212
00:10:22,663 --> 00:10:24,931
But I had a different idea.

213
00:10:24,965 --> 00:10:28,100
You told him
he could walk?

214
00:10:28,135 --> 00:10:30,903
Yes.
I was in the peace corps.

215
00:10:30,938 --> 00:10:33,139
I've seen polio.
I've studied the procedures.

216
00:10:33,173 --> 00:10:34,974
You're privileged.
Sir?

217
00:10:34,975 --> 00:10:36,809
Your application.
I remember it.

218
00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,678
I'm saying,
you grew up privileged,

219
00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:40,479
And that privilege
made you arrogant.

220
00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,381
And arrogance
in an unseasoned surgeon

221
00:10:42,416 --> 00:10:45,685
Is a very dangerous thing. Sir, I
didn't make this promise lightly.

222
00:10:45,719 --> 00:10:47,987
I can do this.

223
00:10:48,021 --> 00:10:50,990
Did you promise him
you'll try

224
00:10:51,024 --> 00:10:54,126
Or did you promise him
he'll walk?

225
00:10:58,765 --> 00:11:03,569
Arrogant.

226
00:11:05,439 --> 00:11:07,506
All right, dr. Torres.

227
00:11:07,541 --> 00:11:09,508
You'll live and die
on this.

228
00:11:09,543 --> 00:11:12,345
This is your career
at seattle grace.

229
00:11:12,379 --> 00:11:14,914
he's such an ass.

230
00:11:14,948 --> 00:11:17,416
Dr. Gracie didn't like
your infectious process idea,

231
00:11:17,451 --> 00:11:19,852
But I think that's what
it's gotta be, right?

232
00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:21,821
Gracie wouldn't know
his ass from his finger.

233
00:11:21,855 --> 00:11:24,390
Is "ass"
the word of the day?

234
00:11:24,424 --> 00:11:26,459
There was mild hemolysis
on his c.B.C.

235
00:11:26,493 --> 00:11:28,361
Anemia? Rhabdo?

236
00:11:28,362 --> 00:11:31,430
Was there any hematuria? No, but
there was some yeast in his urine.

237
00:11:31,465 --> 00:11:32,932
A contaminant.

238
00:11:32,933 --> 00:11:35,401
Maybe the hemolysis
was just a bad blood draw.

239
00:11:35,435 --> 00:11:36,936
Every day?

240
00:11:36,937 --> 00:11:38,905
That doesn't seem right.

241
00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:46,679
Mm. This hemolysis thing
is a red herring.

242
00:11:46,713 --> 00:11:48,614
I feel it in my bones

243
00:11:48,649 --> 00:11:50,616
That we're going dow
the wrong road.

244
00:11:50,651 --> 00:11:53,019
Yeah, you're right.
I feel it in my bones, too.

245
00:11:53,053 --> 00:11:56,155
Get your mind out of the gutter. How can I
do that when I'm tearing your clothes off?

246
00:11:56,189 --> 00:11:59,325
Oh. Think of the possibilities
for post-op fever-

247
00:11:59,359 --> 00:12:02,228
Wind, wound, water.

248
00:12:02,262 --> 00:12:03,996
Water.

249
00:12:03,997 --> 00:12:05,598
The yeast.

250
00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:08,467
I think I got it.

251
00:12:08,502 --> 00:12:10,836
single most important step...

252
00:12:10,871 --> 00:12:13,406
in the treatment process-

253
00:12:13,440 --> 00:12:15,741
Anyone?
Physical exam.

254
00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:18,077
No. No chocolate for you.

255
00:12:18,111 --> 00:12:19,912
Lab
and radiology evaluation.

256
00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:23,082
Uh, oh, come on, people.
Now you're embarrassing me.

257
00:12:23,116 --> 00:12:26,519
Patient history.
Thank you. Catch.

258
00:12:28,722 --> 00:12:31,090
there isn't much inflammation,

259
00:12:31,124 --> 00:12:34,593
But there are
a lot of gallstones.

260
00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:36,762
Dr. Baylow,
what causes gallstones?

261
00:12:36,797 --> 00:12:38,898
High fat diets
are a huge contributor.

262
00:12:38,932 --> 00:12:40,633
Yes, fatty foods and?

263
00:12:40,634 --> 00:12:43,502
Uh, she's vegan.
Who's talking?

264
00:12:43,537 --> 00:12:45,037
I'm sorry, sir.

265
00:12:45,038 --> 00:12:47,306
Keep it down or get out
of the o.R. She's vegan.

266
00:12:47,341 --> 00:12:49,241
She is?

267
00:12:49,276 --> 00:12:52,311
Y- yeah. She, uh, has had
severe reflux most of her life,

268
00:12:52,346 --> 00:12:54,413
Until she discovered
when she was 15

269
00:12:56,416 --> 00:12:58,316
Her ex-boyfriend,

270
00:12:58,318 --> 00:13:00,353
Who broke up with her
after her last surgery,

271
00:13:00,387 --> 00:13:01,921
Was a vegan chef.

272
00:13:01,922 --> 00:13:04,991
Well, that's quite a history
you have there, doctor.

273
00:13:05,025 --> 00:13:06,759
Dr. Baylow,

274
00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:09,195
Your intern's
doing a hell of a job.

275
00:13:19,272 --> 00:13:21,340
Listen
you little moppet.

276
00:13:21,375 --> 00:13:24,310
You hang me out to dry like that
in front of the chief again,

277
00:13:24,344 --> 00:13:27,279
And I will end you-yo career,
your future, your life.

278
00:13:27,314 --> 00:13:29,749
Do we understand each other?

279
00:13:29,783 --> 00:13:31,517
If it were up to me,

280
00:13:31,518 --> 00:13:33,419
You'd be doing scut
until your hair turns gray.

281
00:13:33,453 --> 00:13:37,256
oh, wait a minute.
It is up to me.

282
00:13:37,290 --> 00:13:39,992
we're not allowed
to beat you with sticks.

283
00:13:40,027 --> 00:13:42,928
So we punish you with scut.

284
00:13:44,765 --> 00:13:47,600
We do it today,
and they did it back in my day.

285
00:13:47,634 --> 00:13:50,236
Dr. Grey and I
did mountains of scut.

286
00:13:50,270 --> 00:13:51,704
Mm-hmm.

287
00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:53,739
Testing tissue samples
was boring.

288
00:13:53,774 --> 00:13:55,674
But it's how we found out

289
00:13:55,675 --> 00:13:58,411
Our patient had a fungus
called cryptococcus.

290
00:13:58,445 --> 00:14:00,813
Have you traveled recently
to a tropical country,

291
00:14:00,847 --> 00:14:03,082
Like taiwan or argentina?

292
00:14:03,116 --> 00:14:09,655
No. I've never even en out of this
country? Do you live near a bird aviary

293
00:14:09,689 --> 00:14:11,390
Or are you around
no. Pigeons?

294
00:14:11,391 --> 00:14:13,325
What kind of questions
are these?

295
00:14:13,360 --> 00:14:16,028
We asked
his girlfriend to step out...

296
00:14:17,497 --> 00:14:19,865
Because we knew
we were gonna have to ask

297
00:14:19,900 --> 00:14:22,568
Some pretty uncomfortable
questions.

298
00:14:22,602 --> 00:14:25,771
We suspected
he might have g.R.I.D.

299
00:14:25,806 --> 00:14:30,443
Does anyone know
what g.R.I.D. Is?

300
00:14:30,477 --> 00:14:32,411
A.I.D.S.

301
00:14:32,479 --> 00:14:33,879
That's right.

302
00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:36,749
But in 1982,
it was known as...

303
00:14:36,783 --> 00:14:38,751
Gay-related
immune deficiency?

304
00:14:38,785 --> 00:14:41,020
You think I have sex
with men?

305
00:14:41,054 --> 00:14:43,989
Are you out of your minds? What kind
of doctors are you? Sir, sir-

306
00:14:44,024 --> 00:14:46,992
You're sick! Sir, just calm down.
We're not passing any judgment.

307
00:14:47,027 --> 00:14:49,695
They're just standard questions.
Get this thing out of my arm!

308
00:14:49,729 --> 00:14:52,198
Sir, get back into bed.
You still need the antibiotics.

309
00:14:52,232 --> 00:14:55,301
I'll get the antibiotics
elsewhere, from real doctors.

310
00:14:55,335 --> 00:14:57,636
I did not come here
e insulted!

311
00:14:57,671 --> 00:15:00,806
And don't think I won't talk
to your superiors about this.

312
00:15:06,143 --> 00:15:08,477
This was early 1982.

313
00:15:08,512 --> 00:15:12,415
We hadn't seen a case
in washington state, ever.

314
00:15:12,449 --> 00:15:15,084
San francisco
only had five cases.

315
00:15:15,118 --> 00:15:17,018
We didn't know what it was,

316
00:15:17,020 --> 00:15:19,789
And because it was isolated
to the gay community,

317
00:15:19,823 --> 00:15:21,724
The government
wasn't funding research.

318
00:15:21,758 --> 00:15:23,626
Does anyone know

319
00:15:23,627 --> 00:15:25,928
When the h.I.V. Retrovirus
was finally discovered?

320
00:15:25,963 --> 00:15:29,865
Uh, 1983, but there wasn't
a test for it until '85.

321
00:15:29,900 --> 00:15:31,367
That's right.
It was so new

322
00:15:31,368 --> 00:15:34,070
That even our attending
didn't know how to handle it.

323
00:15:34,104 --> 00:15:35,838
G.R.I.D.?

324
00:15:35,839 --> 00:15:37,740
You accused a patient
in my hospital

325
00:15:37,774 --> 00:15:40,142
Of having a disease that hasn't
even been proven to exist?

326
00:15:40,177 --> 00:15:43,346
What were you thinking?
That patient wasn't even a gay.

327
00:15:43,380 --> 00:15:45,314
He's threatening to sue us
for slander. Good job.

328
00:15:45,349 --> 00:15:48,017
You're on probation.

329
00:15:48,051 --> 00:15:50,586
Both of you.

330
00:15:59,563 --> 00:16:02,098
Patient's getting harder
to ventilate.

331
00:16:02,132 --> 00:16:04,500
Did you hear me?
I heard you. Shush.

332
00:16:04,534 --> 00:16:06,602
Did you shush me?
Don't shush me.

333
00:16:06,636 --> 00:16:09,472
You need to start to wrap up.
Wrap up? I just got started.

334
00:16:09,506 --> 00:16:12,441
We've been working for eight hours.
Because I'm trying to be meticulous,

335
00:16:12,476 --> 00:16:15,444
Make sure I'm getting
a good compression.

336
00:16:15,479 --> 00:16:18,080
I think it's gonna work.
I'm pretty sure. Tty sure"?

337
00:16:18,115 --> 00:16:21,183
he's got pericarditis
and lung disease.

338
00:16:21,218 --> 00:16:22,618
He's getting unstable.

339
00:16:26,289 --> 00:16:28,224
Dude,
do you want him to walk

340
00:16:28,258 --> 00:16:30,860
Or do you want him
to keep breathing?

341
00:16:30,894 --> 00:16:33,696
successes or failures...

342
00:16:33,730 --> 00:16:36,432
Which teaches you more?
failures.

343
00:16:36,466 --> 00:16:39,769
Yeah, but that was a gimmie.
Don't get too cocky.

344
00:16:39,803 --> 00:16:42,338
The patient was discharged,
and a month later,

345
00:16:42,372 --> 00:16:45,174
She was back in the e.R.
In the middle of the night.

346
00:16:45,208 --> 00:16:46,909
She had right lower quadrant
pain, fever, vomiting-

347
00:16:46,910 --> 00:16:49,111
Symptoms consistent with?
Appendicitis.

348
00:16:49,146 --> 00:16:53,582
Aha. You get a chocolate,
'cause that's what I thought.

349
00:16:53,617 --> 00:16:56,352
But don't eat it yet.
Pay attention.

350
00:16:56,386 --> 00:16:59,622
I diagnosed alicia
with appendicitis.

351
00:16:59,656 --> 00:17:02,958
And dr. Webber decided that tp

352
00:17:02,993 --> 00:17:06,228
Was going to be
my first solo surgery.

353
00:17:06,263 --> 00:17:08,631
mobilize the cecum.

354
00:17:08,665 --> 00:17:11,133
There you go.

355
00:17:11,168 --> 00:17:12,601
Not bad, dr. Bailey.

356
00:17:12,602 --> 00:17:14,203
thank you, sir.

357
00:17:14,204 --> 00:17:17,239
I'm glad you decided
to come to seattle grace.

358
00:17:17,274 --> 00:17:18,941
You were a strong applicant.

359
00:17:18,942 --> 00:17:21,744
People are excited
to have you here.

360
00:17:28,819 --> 00:17:30,686
Surgery's a shark tank.

361
00:17:30,687 --> 00:17:32,988
Sharks have teeth.

362
00:17:33,023 --> 00:17:35,091
Make sure
you're a shark, too,

363
00:17:35,125 --> 00:17:37,093
And not a minnow.

364
00:17:37,127 --> 00:17:39,995
S- sir, are you referring
to my height?

365
00:17:40,063 --> 00:17:43,532
No, I'm not.
God made you short.

366
00:17:43,567 --> 00:17:45,467
Who made you quiet?

367
00:17:46,636 --> 00:17:47,837
Um...

368
00:17:49,706 --> 00:17:52,308
That, unfortunately, is
a perfectly healthy appendix.

369
00:17:52,342 --> 00:17:54,410
What?

370
00:17:54,444 --> 00:17:56,579
No infection,
no inflammation.

371
00:17:56,613 --> 00:17:59,148
The whole lower right quadrant
looks good.

372
00:17:59,182 --> 00:18:02,017
Sir, I'm...
I'm s-I'm so sorry.

373
00:18:02,052 --> 00:18:04,620
Shake it off. You know, if you
never get a negative appy,

374
00:18:04,654 --> 00:18:06,989
That means
you're not doing enough appys.

375
00:18:07,023 --> 00:18:10,126
That's just
part of the process.

376
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:13,629
All right, let's take it out,
and we'll get ready to close.

377
00:18:15,765 --> 00:18:18,901
I didn't want to close, but...

378
00:18:18,935 --> 00:18:20,836
We had to.

379
00:18:20,871 --> 00:18:22,905
So...

380
00:18:22,939 --> 00:18:26,308
We took the... Patient

381
00:18:26,343 --> 00:18:28,744
To surgery again, and...

382
00:18:28,778 --> 00:18:31,180
Wait, no.

383
00:18:32,649 --> 00:18:34,416
Hang on.

384
00:18:34,417 --> 00:18:37,620
you were there.
Help her.

385
00:18:38,989 --> 00:18:42,458
That's when we saw the dude
do the thing with his foot.

386
00:18:42,492 --> 00:18:44,226
You know...

387
00:18:44,227 --> 00:18:47,930
The surgery was more difficult
than I anticipated.

388
00:18:47,964 --> 00:18:51,467
Uh, I-I was able to do
the tendon release.

389
00:18:51,501 --> 00:18:54,370
But your lungs and heart
weren't able to withstand

390
00:18:54,404 --> 00:18:56,772
Any more time
under anesthesia.

391
00:18:56,806 --> 00:18:59,608
So I couldn't do
any more than that.

392
00:18:59,643 --> 00:19:02,611
I understand.

393
00:19:02,646 --> 00:19:04,947
When do we start again?

394
00:19:04,981 --> 00:19:08,083
Sunder, I'm saying, I...

395
00:19:08,118 --> 00:19:10,386
I think we don't.

396
00:19:10,420 --> 00:19:13,289
Well...

397
00:19:13,356 --> 00:19:17,359
Now I don't understand.

398
00:19:20,463 --> 00:19:22,831
Look at this.

399
00:19:22,866 --> 00:19:25,935
Look at my foot.

400
00:19:25,969 --> 00:19:27,970
Watch it.

401
00:19:30,540 --> 00:19:33,042
You did that for me.

402
00:19:33,076 --> 00:19:37,846
Since I was 7, I have
never been able to do that.

403
00:19:40,283 --> 00:19:43,085
I've always been different.

404
00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:47,156
I've always been stared at.

405
00:19:47,190 --> 00:19:50,859
I want to walk.

406
00:19:50,894 --> 00:19:53,929
I want to stand straight up.

407
00:19:56,266 --> 00:19:58,601
I believe
you can do the rest.

408
00:19:58,635 --> 00:20:01,470
Please.

409
00:20:03,473 --> 00:20:06,475
Please try.

410
00:20:07,877 --> 00:20:10,713
no surgeon likes
giving up on a patient.

411
00:20:10,747 --> 00:20:14,350
Dr. Grey and I liked it
even less than most.

412
00:20:14,384 --> 00:20:16,785
But when a patient
refuses treatment,

413
00:20:16,820 --> 00:20:19,121
You're done.

414
00:20:19,155 --> 00:20:21,724
I mean, we were done.

415
00:20:21,758 --> 00:20:25,261
Well, that's what
we thought anyhow.

416
00:20:25,295 --> 00:20:28,097
I put in
the n.G. Tube, doctor.

417
00:20:28,131 --> 00:20:30,799
Okay.

418
00:20:30,834 --> 00:20:33,669
Dr. Grey,
looking beautiful as usual.

419
00:20:33,703 --> 00:20:36,238
Flattery will get you
to an on-call room

420
00:20:36,273 --> 00:20:38,807
In five minutes or less.
You're on.

421
00:20:38,842 --> 00:20:41,043
mommy! Mommy! Look!

422
00:20:43,780 --> 00:20:47,116
That's supposed to be
for her birthday.

423
00:20:47,150 --> 00:20:51,120
She was crying.
She misses you.

424
00:20:51,154 --> 00:20:53,622
And I got desperate.

425
00:20:53,657 --> 00:20:54,757
Richard.

426
00:20:54,758 --> 00:20:58,060
Thatcher, how are you?

427
00:20:58,094 --> 00:21:01,930
I only have a few seconds.
Show me your doll.

428
00:21:01,965 --> 00:21:05,034
dr. Grey, dr. Webber,
stat to emergency.

429
00:21:05,068 --> 00:21:08,070
I gotta go, thatch.
Mommy, don't go!

430
00:21:08,104 --> 00:21:09,505
Take her.

431
00:21:09,506 --> 00:21:11,473
Thatcher, I have to go.
Meredith.

432
00:21:11,508 --> 00:21:13,175
Mommy, no.

433
00:21:13,176 --> 00:21:15,010
Mommy.

434
00:21:15,011 --> 00:21:17,046
Don't go.

435
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:20,549
Dr. Grey, dr. Webber,
stat to the e.

436
00:21:26,089 --> 00:21:28,157
Kaposi's sarcoma.

437
00:21:28,191 --> 00:21:31,860
Your g.R.I.D. Patient
from a few months back.

438
00:21:31,895 --> 00:21:33,462
Handle it.

439
00:21:46,710 --> 00:21:48,677
I'm sorry I...

440
00:21:48,712 --> 00:21:50,312
You were right.

441
00:21:50,313 --> 00:21:52,815
You were right
about everything.

442
00:21:52,849 --> 00:21:57,920
Please...

443
00:21:57,954 --> 00:21:59,854
Help me.

444
00:22:08,658 --> 00:22:10,158
A healthy appendix-

445
00:22:10,159 --> 00:22:12,928
The third surgery
for this patient

446
00:22:12,962 --> 00:22:16,398
With unrelenng abdominal pain,
fatigue and muscle pain.

447
00:22:16,432 --> 00:22:18,900
Now what? Test for zebras.
Um, uncommon diseases.

448
00:22:18,935 --> 00:22:20,835
Okay.

449
00:22:20,837 --> 00:22:22,904
Do an a.N.A. For lupus.
Lupus. Yeah.

450
00:22:22,939 --> 00:22:26,541
Whoa, what about lead? You
test for lead? Good, good. See?

451
00:22:26,576 --> 00:22:28,476
Sometimes I-it's not easy.

452
00:22:28,478 --> 00:22:31,346
Sometimes you have to be
your patient's advocate

453
00:22:31,380 --> 00:22:34,149
And push to get things done.

454
00:22:36,252 --> 00:22:38,553
Excuse me, uh, dr. Baylow.

455
00:22:38,588 --> 00:22:40,489
Alicia tatum
is being discharged

456
00:22:40,523 --> 00:22:42,457
With nothing but a note
for a psych consult?

457
00:22:42,492 --> 00:22:44,392
She's sniffing around
for pain meds.

458
00:22:44,393 --> 00:22:46,595
She's depressed, is
her problem. Well, yeah.

459
00:22:46,629 --> 00:22:49,131
Months of severe, untreated pain
can be depressing.

460
00:22:49,165 --> 00:22:50,632
Okay, smarty pants.

461
00:22:50,633 --> 00:22:52,734
I just thought maybe we could
test for lupus

462
00:22:52,768 --> 00:22:54,636
Or, um, lead poisoning

463
00:22:54,637 --> 00:22:56,138
Or look,
even hemochromatosis-

464
00:22:56,139 --> 00:22:58,406
We are not ordering
thousands of dollars in tests

465
00:22:58,441 --> 00:23:01,276
For something that can be cured
with a big dose of prozac.

466
00:23:01,310 --> 00:23:03,645
But
- what are we doing with alicia tatum?

467
00:23:03,679 --> 00:23:06,314
We're turfing her to psych
for depression.

468
00:23:06,349 --> 00:23:08,850
Well, we cut her open three
tim and didn't cure her pain.

469
00:23:08,885 --> 00:23:10,785
Wouldn't you be depressed?
Of course.

470
00:23:10,820 --> 00:23:13,088
B- before she goes, I thought
we could test for lupus

471
00:23:13,122 --> 00:23:15,123
Or lead poisoning
or maybe hemochromatosis.

472
00:23:15,158 --> 00:23:17,559
Hemochromatosis.
Now you're thinking.

473
00:23:17,593 --> 00:23:19,694
Good work.

474
00:23:19,729 --> 00:23:22,330
oh, my god. I think
that's an intussusception.

475
00:23:22,365 --> 00:23:25,000
I've never seen one before
in an adult.

476
00:23:25,034 --> 00:23:27,802
Well, I suppose
we'd handle it the same way

477
00:23:27,837 --> 00:23:29,237
As with a kid, right?

478
00:23:29,238 --> 00:23:31,940
Dr. Gracie, what would you do
in this situation?

479
00:23:31,974 --> 00:23:35,177
Quite frankly, nothing.
I wouldn't operate.

480
00:23:35,211 --> 00:23:38,079
This patient a lost cause.
He's g g.R.I.D.

481
00:23:38,114 --> 00:23:41,216
It's called a.I.D.S. Now.

482
00:23:41,250 --> 00:23:42,984
A.I.D.S.

483
00:23:42,985 --> 00:23:45,887
No one knows what's causing it
or how it spreads.

484
00:23:45,922 --> 00:23:48,523
You want me to potentially risk
the health of my staff,

485
00:23:48,558 --> 00:23:50,959
My own life, for a guy
with a death sentence?

486
00:23:50,993 --> 00:23:53,094
No, I'm not doing it.

487
00:23:53,129 --> 00:23:54,996
And I recommend
you don't do it either.

488
00:23:54,997 --> 00:23:57,899
We took an oath.
We're supposed to be healers.

489
00:23:57,934 --> 00:23:59,367
Ten years ago,

490
00:23:59,368 --> 00:24:01,770
Os ni te you wouldn't even have
been allowed in this program.

491
00:24:01,804 --> 00:24:04,906
Don't you dare tell me
what kind of oath we take.

492
00:24:07,743 --> 00:24:10,378
we'd hit a wall.

493
00:24:10,413 --> 00:24:12,480
And, um...

494
00:24:12,515 --> 00:24:14,616
We planned a number
of procedures.

495
00:24:14,650 --> 00:24:16,585
But, um...

496
00:24:16,619 --> 00:24:18,320
Uh, but then...

497
00:24:18,321 --> 00:24:20,655
Then I gave you
that rousing pep talk.

498
00:24:22,124 --> 00:24:24,659
You know what?
You totally did.

499
00:24:24,694 --> 00:24:26,595
What if I had quit
in the elevator?

500
00:24:26,629 --> 00:24:29,331
What if I had frozen? I mean,
I had every reason to freeze.

501
00:24:29,365 --> 00:24:31,866
I'm an intern. I never had
my hand on a heart before.

502
00:24:31,901 --> 00:24:33,768
No reason for me to think

503
00:24:33,769 --> 00:24:35,896
I'm not gonna do anything
but kill that cop faster.

504
00:24:35,897 --> 00:24:36,605
But you didn't.

505
00:24:36,639 --> 00:24:38,039
No, I didn't.

506
00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:40,041
I- I cut him open,
I cross-clamped the aorta,

507
00:24:40,076 --> 00:24:42,744
I stuck my finger in the hole
and I stopped the bleeding.

508
00:24:42,778 --> 00:24:44,779
It was seamless.
I was perfect.

509
00:24:44,814 --> 00:24:46,348
So pretend
there's a blackout

510
00:24:46,349 --> 00:24:49,050
And you're stuck in an elevator
and your guy is bleeding out.

511
00:24:49,085 --> 00:24:50,669
What are you gonna do? Are you
gonna just quit?

512
00:24:50,670 --> 00:24:52,254
what was the result?

513
00:24:52,288 --> 00:24:54,489
Did she test positive
for hemochromatosis? nope.

514
00:24:54,523 --> 00:24:56,524
uh, what about lime disease?

515
00:24:56,559 --> 00:24:59,494
Lime disease-negative.

516
00:24:59,528 --> 00:25:00,929
Celiac disease-negative.

517
00:25:00,930 --> 00:25:03,031
Every test
I could think of-negative.

518
00:25:03,065 --> 00:25:06,067
So I did what I've told you all
to do when you get stuck.

519
00:25:06,102 --> 00:25:08,970
I went to the library
and I hit the books.

520
00:25:09,005 --> 00:25:11,273
I hit 'em hard.

521
00:25:11,307 --> 00:25:14,676
I was raised to be polite,
you know?

522
00:25:14,710 --> 00:25:16,978
Don't raise your voice,

523
00:25:17,013 --> 00:25:21,182
Have respect for people
higher in the pecking order,

524
00:25:21,217 --> 00:25:23,118
Be generous to those below-

525
00:25:23,152 --> 00:25:25,053
I was not raised
to be a shark.

526
00:25:25,087 --> 00:25:27,088
Now does that
make me a minnow?

527
00:25:27,123 --> 00:25:28,556
Am I a minnow?

528
00:25:28,557 --> 00:25:30,025
I- I really don't know.

529
00:25:30,026 --> 00:25:31,893
I'm a minnow.

530
00:25:31,894 --> 00:25:33,061
Oh.

531
00:25:33,062 --> 00:25:34,729
Not because of my height.

532
00:25:34,730 --> 00:25:38,733
Because I'm a minnow
on the inside.

533
00:25:41,904 --> 00:25:44,839
That is a sad state
of affairs, joe.

534
00:25:49,111 --> 00:25:51,613
hell,
we weren't noble.

535
00:25:51,647 --> 00:25:54,449
We were just more arrogant
than the rest

536
00:25:54,483 --> 00:25:56,818
And had more to prove.

537
00:25:56,852 --> 00:25:59,821
Your c.T. Showed that your bowel
has twisted in on itself,

538
00:25:59,855 --> 00:26:03,191
Probably because of kaposi's
lesions in your abdomen.

539
00:26:03,225 --> 00:26:05,060
it's a pretty rare problem,

540
00:26:05,061 --> 00:26:07,395
But we can take care of it
with surgery.

541
00:26:07,430 --> 00:26:09,531
Will dr. Gracie
be doing the surgery?

542
00:26:10,933 --> 00:26:13,068
I'm afraid
you're stuck with us.

543
00:26:16,639 --> 00:26:19,374
He's scared, isn't he?

544
00:26:20,876 --> 00:26:23,178
Just like them, outside.

545
00:26:23,212 --> 00:26:26,114
I can see them...

546
00:26:27,616 --> 00:26:31,252
Pointing, mumbling, staring.

547
00:26:31,287 --> 00:26:33,187
Screw them.

548
00:26:38,761 --> 00:26:40,662
I don't blame them...

549
00:26:40,696 --> 00:26:43,431
For being scared.

550
00:26:45,468 --> 00:26:47,869
I'm scared, too.

551
00:26:47,903 --> 00:26:52,006
I used to be scared
that, um...

552
00:26:52,041 --> 00:26:57,078
People would find out
that I was gay and...

553
00:26:57,113 --> 00:27:01,349
Now, um, I can't even
hide it anymore.

554
00:27:05,888 --> 00:27:08,957
I'm a-I'm a leper...

555
00:27:08,991 --> 00:27:11,192
An outcast...

556
00:27:11,227 --> 00:27:13,628
An untouchable.

557
00:27:13,662 --> 00:27:18,166
No one will look at me.

558
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:22,103
no one will touch me.

559
00:27:23,839 --> 00:27:25,740
I want to hate everyone

560
00:27:25,775 --> 00:27:28,209
For treating me this way.

561
00:27:28,244 --> 00:27:30,144
But how...

562
00:27:30,146 --> 00:27:32,046
How can I hate them
for being scared

563
00:27:32,081 --> 00:27:35,850
When I'm the one
that's been living the lie?

564
00:27:35,885 --> 00:27:39,621
this is your chance
to change that.

565
00:27:39,655 --> 00:27:41,790
Have this surgery,

566
00:27:41,824 --> 00:27:43,291
Let us operate.

567
00:27:43,292 --> 00:27:44,726
What's the point?

568
00:27:44,727 --> 00:27:47,862
No one recovers from this.

569
00:27:49,398 --> 00:27:50,865
No one lives.

570
00:27:50,866 --> 00:27:52,434
for all you know,

571
00:27:52,435 --> 00:27:55,637
There could be a cure for this
thing tomorrow or next week.

572
00:27:55,671 --> 00:27:58,373
Let us operate.

573
00:28:01,043 --> 00:28:03,545
we spent days
trying to make things right,

574
00:28:03,579 --> 00:28:06,614
Trying to figure out
the best strategy.

575
00:28:06,649 --> 00:28:08,950
So we, uh, we researched

576
00:28:08,984 --> 00:28:11,586
And, uh,
practiced and practiced,

577
00:28:11,620 --> 00:28:15,089
And... Eventually,
we were ready.

578
00:28:15,124 --> 00:28:17,892
Okay, retract the rectus
femoris. What about the nerve?

579
00:28:17,927 --> 00:28:20,728
b.P. Just dropped
and he's tachycardic.

580
00:28:20,763 --> 00:28:23,231
Torsades on the monitor. Oh,
my god. Pericardial tamponade?

581
00:28:23,265 --> 00:28:25,165
Sounds like.
Damn it.

582
00:28:25,167 --> 00:28:27,802
Okay, nobody panic.
Page cardio.

583
00:28:27,837 --> 00:28:31,172
Alex, we need to do
a subxiphoid pericardiotomy

584
00:28:31,207 --> 00:28:33,241
To drain the blood
that's squeezing the heart.

585
00:28:33,242 --> 00:28:38,246
It's like a miniature version of what
you did in the elevator. So get a scalpel.

586
00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:40,381
What do you mean, you can't?
You already did.

587
00:28:40,416 --> 00:28:42,617
Take the scalpel.
I- I can't.

588
00:28:42,651 --> 00:28:44,919
The patient is crashing, karev.
Do the elevator thing.

589
00:28:44,954 --> 00:28:47,655
I can't. I've never done this.
It-it w-it wasn't me.

590
00:28:47,690 --> 00:28:52,293
I'm not the heart-in-the-elevator
guy. It was o'malley.

591
00:28:56,905 --> 00:28:58,305
Okay. Okay.

592
00:28:58,306 --> 00:29:00,274
No, this is fine.

593
00:29:00,308 --> 00:29:01,742
We're fine.

594
00:29:01,743 --> 00:29:03,678
And you-
you're doing this.

595
00:29:03,712 --> 00:29:05,296
But I haven't

596
00:29:05,297 --> 00:29:06,881
just because you haven't
doesn't mean you can't.

597
00:29:06,915 --> 00:29:09,917
Get it together
and take the scalpel.

598
00:29:16,525 --> 00:29:19,126
Okay.

599
00:29:19,161 --> 00:29:20,394
Uh...

600
00:29:20,395 --> 00:29:23,497
Make a 6-centimeter-long
incision

601
00:29:23,532 --> 00:29:28,102
Over
the xiphisternal junction.

602
00:29:28,136 --> 00:29:30,805
Good.

603
00:29:30,839 --> 00:29:33,808
we knew
what we were doing was risky.

604
00:29:33,842 --> 00:29:35,776
These days we know
that a.I.D.S. Transmission

605
00:29:35,811 --> 00:29:37,945
Requires exchanges
of bodily fluids.

606
00:29:37,979 --> 00:29:40,014
But back then
we had no idea.

607
00:29:40,048 --> 00:29:42,683
Can you get it from
casual contact, from the air,

608
00:29:42,718 --> 00:29:44,385
From surgery?

609
00:29:44,386 --> 00:29:45,853
No idea.

610
00:29:45,854 --> 00:29:48,556
poor guy.

611
00:29:48,590 --> 00:29:50,991
Living a lie for so long.

612
00:29:51,026 --> 00:29:53,127
Yeah. Shame.

613
00:29:53,161 --> 00:29:55,963
We're living a lie, too.

614
00:29:55,997 --> 00:29:57,431
What?

615
00:29:57,432 --> 00:30:00,334
We shouldn't be doing what
we're doing. We have to stop.

616
00:30:00,368 --> 00:30:02,269
No. We're not the li

617
00:30:02,304 --> 00:30:04,438
Our marriages arthe lie.

618
00:30:04,473 --> 00:30:06,640
This? Us?

619
00:30:06,675 --> 00:30:09,643
This is what's right.

620
00:30:10,979 --> 00:30:13,314
We should leave them,
richard.

621
00:30:13,348 --> 00:30:15,282
You leave adele,
and I'll leave thatcher.

622
00:30:15,317 --> 00:30:18,686
I can't. You have a daughter.
I can't.

623
00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:21,088
And neither can you.

624
00:30:22,991 --> 00:30:25,426
You don't have to go in there.
I can do this alone.

625
00:30:25,460 --> 00:30:26,978
You have meredith
to think about.

626
00:30:26,979 --> 00:30:28,496
You're just like
the rest of them.

627
00:30:28,530 --> 00:30:30,430
You have
a different skin color,

628
00:30:30,432 --> 00:30:32,833
But turns out, you're
just like them. Ellis-

629
00:30:32,868 --> 00:30:34,835
I gave birth to a child,
richard.

630
00:30:34,870 --> 00:30:37,671
That makes me a mother.
It doesn't make me inept.

631
00:30:37,706 --> 00:30:39,607
It doesn't make me
less of a woman.

632
00:30:39,641 --> 00:30:41,542
It doesn't make me
less of a surgeon.

633
00:30:41,576 --> 00:30:43,911
No matter how much
everyone wants it to.

634
00:30:48,350 --> 00:30:51,318
All my research
didn't help.

635
00:30:51,353 --> 00:30:53,788
Dr. Baylow
sent the patient home.

636
00:30:53,822 --> 00:30:55,689
So I thought she'd won.

637
00:30:55,690 --> 00:30:58,459
I thought, you know, maybe
I wasn't cut out for this game.

638
00:30:58,493 --> 00:31:00,795
But a couple of months later...

639
00:31:00,829 --> 00:31:02,763
Alicia?

640
00:31:02,798 --> 00:31:05,199
Oh, thank god.
A familiar face.

641
00:31:05,233 --> 00:31:06,934
What happened?

642
00:31:06,935 --> 00:31:08,335
The pain got really bad.

643
00:31:08,336 --> 00:31:11,939
They said maybe I have some sort
of obstruction or something

644
00:31:11,973 --> 00:31:13,841
From the other surgeries.

645
00:31:13,842 --> 00:31:17,444
They want to go back in
and take another look.

646
00:31:19,414 --> 00:31:20,714
Mandy...

647
00:31:20,715 --> 00:31:23,517
I don't think
I can take it anymore.

648
00:31:23,552 --> 00:31:26,453
Please tell me
this surgery's gonna help.

649
00:31:26,488 --> 00:31:30,591
They're gonna find something,
right?

650
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:34,929
Uh... Ju-

651
00:31:34,963 --> 00:31:36,463
D- don't touch her.

652
00:31:36,464 --> 00:31:39,133
Uh, I know you're-you're here
to take her to the o.R.,

653
00:31:39,167 --> 00:31:41,335
But, uh, don't touch her.

654
00:31:41,369 --> 00:31:44,839
so you canceled
your resident's surgery?

655
00:31:44,873 --> 00:31:46,773
Isn't that a little bold?

656
00:31:46,775 --> 00:31:48,675
Well, she was worried
out adhesions, right?

657
00:31:48,677 --> 00:31:51,045
Give me candy.

658
00:31:51,079 --> 00:31:52,880
No adhesions. No candy.

659
00:31:52,881 --> 00:31:55,649
And it wasn't bold, grey,
it was stupid.

660
00:31:55,684 --> 00:31:58,385
But in this case,
it was also necessary.

661
00:31:58,420 --> 00:32:02,590
Where do you get off
canceling my surgery?

662
00:32:02,624 --> 00:32:05,059
When I paged you-
you work for me. Got that?

663
00:32:05,093 --> 00:32:07,161
You listen
to what I have to say.

664
00:32:07,195 --> 00:32:10,297
Are you at all familiar with
what surgeons do, dr. Bailey?

665
00:32:10,332 --> 00:32:11,699
We cut.

666
00:32:11,700 --> 00:32:14,068
Yeah, rebook ms. Tatum
for surgery.

667
00:32:14,102 --> 00:32:16,237
No, d-dr. Baylow,
you wanted to go in

668
00:32:16,271 --> 00:32:18,205
And explore her obstruction.

669
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:21,308
She doesn't have
any signs of adhesions.

670
00:32:21,343 --> 00:32:23,310
Look, just because she's had
previous surgeries

671
00:32:23,345 --> 00:32:26,180
Doesn't mean that you shouldn't
actually look for another cause.

672
00:32:26,214 --> 00:32:28,148
She has a pseudo-obstruction

673
00:32:28,183 --> 00:32:30,751
That could be resolved
with an n.G. Tube.

674
00:32:30,785 --> 00:32:33,220
And if you'd looked further

675
00:32:33,255 --> 00:32:35,189
And I-I don't know,
talked to your patient,

676
00:32:35,223 --> 00:32:37,625
You would've discovered that
along with abdominal pain,

677
00:32:37,659 --> 00:32:40,227
She also had,
uh, weakness, palpitations,

678
00:32:40,262 --> 00:32:41,962
Numbness, uh, skin changes

679
00:32:41,963 --> 00:32:43,898
And her urine
is intermittently dark.

680
00:32:43,932 --> 00:32:46,600
Ringing any bells yet?

681
00:32:46,635 --> 00:32:50,170
Your patient, who's been sliced
nine ways to Sunday,

682
00:32:50,205 --> 00:32:51,705
Has porphyria.

683
00:32:51,706 --> 00:32:54,141
If you had
diagnosed it earlier,

684
00:32:54,175 --> 00:32:56,377
She could've avoided
getting her ovaries taken out

685
00:32:56,411 --> 00:32:58,279
And her gallbladder and-

686
00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:01,215
Yes, yes,
I took out her appendix,

687
00:33:01,249 --> 00:33:04,151
And I, too, am at fault for not
looking at the whole person.

688
00:33:04,185 --> 00:33:06,654
But you know the difference
between you and me?

689
00:33:06,688 --> 00:33:08,355
I learned something from it.

690
00:33:08,356 --> 00:33:10,257
I learned when not to cut.

691
00:33:10,292 --> 00:33:12,159
I learned
to listen to my patient.

692
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:14,995
How could you have not learned
in three years

693
00:33:15,030 --> 00:33:18,332
What took me three
months to learn? Dr. Baey.

694
00:33:18,366 --> 00:33:20,234
And the reason
I had her chart

695
00:33:20,235 --> 00:33:22,236
Was because
you ignored my pages

696
00:33:22,237 --> 00:33:24,838
And she needs to get started
on hemin right away.

697
00:33:24,873 --> 00:33:26,473
Was because
you put it in her I.V.

698
00:33:26,474 --> 00:33:28,943
You give it to her daily
for four days... Dr. Bailey.

699
00:33:28,977 --> 00:33:31,378
The patient gets better.

700
00:33:31,413 --> 00:33:33,480
The patient doesn't get prodded,
probed, scoped

701
00:33:33,481 --> 00:33:35,916
Or cut open like a thanksgiving
turkey You supercilious fool!

702
00:33:35,951 --> 00:33:40,421
Dr. Bailey.
my office.

703
00:33:40,422 --> 00:33:42,823
Now.

704
00:33:51,115 --> 00:33:53,015
We did a series
of shorter surgeries

705
00:33:53,017 --> 00:33:55,418
So his lungs and heart
could withstand the anesthesia.

706
00:33:55,452 --> 00:33:58,354
It was grueling for the patient,
but worth it in the end.

707
00:33:58,355 --> 00:33:59,322
Show 'em the x-rays.

708
00:33:59,356 --> 00:34:01,491
Oh, yeah. So cool.

709
00:34:01,525 --> 00:34:03,793
Okay, um...

710
00:34:03,861 --> 00:34:06,496
These are the before.

711
00:34:06,530 --> 00:34:10,500
And these are the after.

712
00:34:13,904 --> 00:34:16,306
wow. Yeah.

713
00:34:16,340 --> 00:34:17,807
Um...

714
00:34:19,877 --> 00:34:22,045
Yeah, it was...
It was amazing.

715
00:34:22,079 --> 00:34:24,047
I mean,
after the final surgery,

716
00:34:24,081 --> 00:34:25,582
We were just...

717
00:34:25,583 --> 00:34:28,685
And, uh, we cebrated
that night.

718
00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:30,619
Man, did we ever celebrate.

719
00:34:37,194 --> 00:34:39,329
Mm. Wait.

720
00:34:39,363 --> 00:34:40,763
Cone of silence.

721
00:34:40,764 --> 00:34:43,566
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Whatever.

722
00:34:50,407 --> 00:34:54,110
I knew
I was in big trouble.

723
00:34:54,144 --> 00:34:55,878
Now it is my job

724
00:34:55,879 --> 00:34:59,215
To make sure that my residents
are supported

725
00:34:59,249 --> 00:35:02,051
And treated with respect.
Of course, and I'm so sorry-

726
00:35:02,086 --> 00:35:05,321
You have said enough
for one day. Sorry.

727
00:35:05,356 --> 00:35:07,090
It's my job.

728
00:35:07,091 --> 00:35:09,759
So we are gonna sit here
with you wearing

729
00:35:09,793 --> 00:35:11,594
That terrified look
on your face

730
00:35:11,595 --> 00:35:13,495
For a respectable amount
of time

731
00:35:13,497 --> 00:35:15,765
So that dr. Baylow
and her friends can assume

732
00:35:15,799 --> 00:35:19,202
You are having your behind
handed to you on a platter.

733
00:35:23,407 --> 00:35:25,341
You're gonna make
a hell of a surgeon,

734
00:35:25,376 --> 00:35:27,276
Dr. Bailey.

735
00:35:28,746 --> 00:35:30,513
Lose the smile.

736
00:35:30,514 --> 00:35:32,949
well, the patient
survived the surgery.

737
00:35:32,983 --> 00:35:34,384
But eight nths later,

738
00:35:34,385 --> 00:35:36,953
He came ck
with p.C.P. Pneumonia.

739
00:35:38,956 --> 00:35:43,026
He died a week later.

740
00:35:43,060 --> 00:35:45,261
Dr. Grey and I...

741
00:35:45,295 --> 00:35:47,130
Well, um...

742
00:35:47,131 --> 00:35:48,765
I won't speak for her.

743
00:35:48,766 --> 00:35:52,502
But I lost the sense
that I was a superhero.

744
00:35:52,536 --> 00:35:59,108
And I really started to think
of how dangerous it all was.

745
00:35:59,143 --> 00:36:02,845
It ces you... This work.

746
00:36:02,880 --> 00:36:06,549
Your patients,
your colleagues...

747
00:36:06,583 --> 00:36:10,186
You change each other.

748
00:36:10,220 --> 00:36:14,223
You don't ever think
you'll lose your way.

749
00:36:14,258 --> 00:36:17,727
But what happens
in this hospital...

750
00:36:17,761 --> 00:36:22,832
Just remember
why you came here.

751
00:36:22,900 --> 00:36:26,836
You said it the day
you graduated from med school.

752
00:36:26,870 --> 00:36:29,639
You took
the physician's oath.

753
00:36:29,673 --> 00:36:32,041
Remember it.

754
00:36:32,076 --> 00:36:34,010
Tape it to your locker,

755
00:36:34,044 --> 00:36:36,779
To your bathroom mirror...

756
00:36:36,814 --> 00:36:40,950
'cause it is too easy
to lose your way.

757
00:36:49,359 --> 00:36:51,127
I solemnly pledge

758
00:36:51,128 --> 00:36:55,098
To consecrate my life
to the service of humanity.

759
00:36:57,534 --> 00:37:00,503
I will give to my teachers...

760
00:37:00,537 --> 00:37:05,274
The respect and gratitude
that is their due.

761
00:37:05,309 --> 00:37:07,944
I will practice my profession

762
00:37:07,978 --> 00:37:12,081
With conscience and dignity.

763
00:37:12,116 --> 00:37:14,584
The health of my patients

764
00:37:14,618 --> 00:37:18,855
Will be
my number one consideration.

765
00:37:18,889 --> 00:37:26,829
I will respect the secrets
that are cfided in me

766
00:37:28,365 --> 00:37:33,703
I will maintain,
eby all the means in my power..

767
00:37:33,737 --> 00:37:36,639
The honor
and the noble traditions

768
00:37:36,673 --> 00:37:39,642
Of the medical profession.

769
00:37:45,149 --> 00:37:49,752
My colleagues will be
my sisters and brothers.

770
00:37:55,859 --> 00:37:59,996
I will not permit
considerations of age,

771
00:38:00,030 --> 00:38:02,665
Disease or disability...

772
00:38:02,699 --> 00:38:04,567
Creed...

773
00:38:04,568 --> 00:38:06,969
Ethnic origin...

774
00:38:07,004 --> 00:38:09,705
Gender...

775
00:38:09,740 --> 00:38:11,207
Race...

776
00:38:11,208 --> 00:38:13,910
Political affiliation...

777
00:38:13,944 --> 00:38:15,945
Nationality...

778
00:38:15,979 --> 00:38:19,749
Sexual orientation...

779
00:38:19,783 --> 00:38:21,717
Social standing...

780
00:38:23,720 --> 00:38:25,620
Or any other factor

781
00:38:25,622 --> 00:38:28,624
To intervene
between my duty...

782
00:38:32,930 --> 00:38:36,265
And my patient.

783
00:38:41,238 --> 00:38:42,672
I will maintain

784
00:38:42,673 --> 00:38:45,241
The utmost respect
for human life.

785
00:38:45,275 --> 00:38:47,176
I will not use
my medical knowledge

786
00:38:47,211 --> 00:38:51,080
To violate human rights
and civil liberties,

787
00:38:51,114 --> 00:38:52,949
Even under threat.

788
00:38:52,950 --> 00:38:55,651
I make these promises
solemnly...

789
00:38:55,686 --> 00:38:57,887
Freely...

790
00:38:57,921 --> 00:39:02,458
And upon my honor.

791
00:39:48,272 --> 00:39:51,540
The job offer still stands.
Think about it.

792
00:39:51,575 --> 00:39:53,475
Let me know.

793
00:40:00,284 --> 00:40:02,852
We'll see.

794
00:40:09,860 --> 00:40:12,194
To philip.

795
00:40:12,229 --> 00:40:14,330
May he rest in peace.

796
00:40:14,364 --> 00:40:16,264
You can't toast
a dead irishman

797
00:40:16,266 --> 00:40:18,734
With a soda pop,
richard.

798
00:40:18,769 --> 00:40:21,170
Get this man a vodka,
frankie.

799
00:40:21,204 --> 00:40:22,872
oh, yeah.
Coming right up.

800
00:40:22,873 --> 00:40:25,875
You know I can't stand
the taste of that stuff.

801
00:40:25,909 --> 00:40:27,410
It's time to learn.

802
00:40:27,411 --> 00:40:30,379
You're a grown-up,
richard.

803
00:40:30,414 --> 00:40:33,516
It's time to act like it.

804
00:40:38,555 --> 00:40:40,656
I can't leave her,
ellis.

805
00:40:42,559 --> 00:40:46,495
I can't.

806
00:40:46,530 --> 00:40:48,631
We'll see.

807
00:41:12,801 --> 00:41:16,884
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