[knocking on door]
[knocks]
Cristina?
[whispers] Owen's at the hospital, and l...
[sighs] Forget it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Come on. Come on.
Well, that's... that's... that's kinda weird.
Oh, he's asleep. Get in.
[Meredith] Most surgeons grew up being freaks.
While other kids played outside...
...we holed up in our rooms...
Mm.
...memorizing the periodic table...
...huddling for hours over our junior microscopes...
...dissecting our first frogs.
Almost all of the surgeons in your program
have been cleared to operate.
The remaining cases will be referred to Dr. Wyatt,
and she'll clear those people when she feels they're ready.
What about Cristina Yang? What's the timeline there?
Dr. Perkins felt that we should assign Dr. Yang
to something low-stress for a few months...
...research, admin duties.
Administration? That's the best you can do?
Put her on my service.
She's not on anyone's service, Derek.
She'll be in the hospital, she just won't go near a surgery.
[Derek] Well, you do that, and she'll leave.
She will not come back to this program. Put her on my service.
- I already tried it, Shepherd. - Hunt's right. She's not ready.
Well, she wasn't ready before. Maybe now she is.
I think we should give him a shot.
Well, especially if nothing else is working.
She crawled under a table in the O.R. two weeks ago.
- Thank you. - [doctors all talking at once]
She goes, I go.
[talking stops]
That's insane.
- [doctors all talking at once] - [Derek] If she goes, I go.
[Meredith] I think they're talking about you.
It's gonna be OK. I mean, they... they... they can't
kick you out of the program for being traumatized.
I don't care what they do.
[doctors speaking indistinctly]
Dr. Yang, you're with me.
- What? N-no. - I'm with you.
You're with somebody else. We're walking, Dr. Yang.
[Meredith] Derek.
Hey. Where could I find Dr. Shepherd?
- You have an appointment? - I don't.
Uh, could you just point me in the direction of his office?
I'm sorry.
She has that look on her face because the last time someone
walked into this hospital looking for Dr. Shepherd
- without an appointment, he shot him. - Mark! Oh.
- [laughs] - Oh, my God!
- Hi, Amy. - You still look hot.
And you, uh, look a lot more grown-up than when I last saw you.
You can say "hot," you know? 'Cause I am. I'm hot.
No, I can't, because in my mind, you're still Derek's 12-year-old sister.
- Huh. - So what are you doing in Seattle?
Uh, Derek's an ass who won't return my calls.
Derek's an ass who got shot and won't return my calls,
so I brought him a present or a bribe or a peace offering.
Whatever. I brought him that.
[Meredith] Imagine how surprised and relieved we were
when we grew up and found out there were others out there
-just as freaky as we were. - You brought him Brett Favre?
- [elevator bell dings] - No. I brought him a brain tumor.
[Meredith] Same microscopes, same dead frogs,
same inexplicable urge to take human beings apart.
Talk to Cristina. She's in the middle of a nervous breakdown.
- I can't push her. - In two weeks, my landlord
is gonna hand keys to a Swedish couple with a truckload
of Swedish furniture, and I said I'd be gone.
Teddy, can you... [clears throat] mention it to Owen, like casually,
"Hey, how's the apartment search going?
No pressure, but Callie and Arizona have a life."
[exhales] "You're crowding them, and Arizona can't handle it."
[elevator bell dings]
Oh, my God. Are... Teddy, are you OK?
[voice breaking] Um...
Andrew's leaving.
Oh. Oh, no, you didn't. She got attached.
Oh, no. No, no, no. You were supposed to be
smart and cool and G.I. Jane.
I know that. I know that. Instead, I got attached
to the trauma guy who swoops in and swoops out a month later.
I'm such an idiot. I'm not G.I. Jane.
I'm Attachment Barbie.
Oh, you poor thing. Come here.
[sniffles]
Come here, come here, come here.
[sighs]
You know what would make you feel better?
- What? - Telling Owen to get off his ass
and get his traumatized wife out of our apartment.
[laughs]
Meredith is a much better doctor than me.
- No, she's not. - I am, too. Sorry, Cristina.
Oh, no. No offense taken. She... she is.
- [pager beeping] I'll take my chances. - OK, how about we compromise?
Why don't you page me when you've got something?
I've got something. Oh, come on.
- Amy? - Well, if you'd pick up the damn phone,
- I wouldn't have to stalk you. - Yeah. Why didn't you call your sister?
- Sister? - Meredith, Cristina,
- this is Amy. - Amelia.
He's the only one who gets to call me Amy.
- Um, nice to finally meet you. - Likewise.
Amy... Amelia is also a neurosurgeon.
Another one? You Shepherds grow them like weeds.
Who's this, your husband?
- Derek, this is Tom. - Todd.
- [elevator bell dings] - Oh, best of luck to you both. [scoffs]
No, we met on the plane. He has a probable pituitary tumor.
Did she say you had spongy hands?
Yeah. [laughs]
[laughs] Yeah. Were your hands on her breasts at the time?
- Yeah. - So this was a mile-high hookup?
That doesn't change the fact that he's a very sick man.
If he has symptoms, it could be a tumor.
Not just "could." It... it is.
All right. Well, this fine lady will find you a surgeon.
Derek, she's your sister.
- You can buy her a cup of coffee. - I have a lot of sisters,
and if I bought them all coffee, we wouldn't have anything.
Derek...
Todd needs a workup. Will you take care of it?
I can do it.
Yang's on my service. Why don't you just go
have a good day with Amy, OK? She's a laugh a minute.
Can you hold the door open, please?
Thank you. Easy.
OK.
Karev, what are you waiting for? Get on.
[whispers indistinctly]
I just remembered. Dr. Hunt needs his lab results.
I'll meet you up there.
This patient takes priori... Karev, what...
I can do it.
No, uh, Dr. Kepner has a couple of patients in the E.R. Go help her.
Is Dr. Webber going up? I need an extra hand.
He sent me.
Oh, uh, I thought you were on Dr. Shepherd's service today.
He took Cristina.
Why? [chuckles] I mean, why?
You don't think she's OK, do you? 'Cause I don't.
I mean, she was in the house this morning.
Did she spend the night? Because she's married.
It's a little weird for someone to...
April, don't talk about Cristina.
Just mind your own business.
I'm sorry. Um, I was just... I was just concerned,
but I will try not to be.
[car alarm chirps, door lock clicks]
I swear to God, Jerry, if you don't get out of the car,
I'm gonna break the glass and drag you through
- the freakin' window! - No!
Um, look, ma'am, this is an ambulance bay.
It's for doctor and patient vehicles only.
Well, if my idiot husband would ever get out of the car,
- you'd see he was a patient. - [car alarm chirps, door lock clicks]
- Jerry, unlock the door. - Just take me home, Tess!
- This was a big mistake. - Um, sir.
If there is something wrong with you,
you should let us take a look. We can help.
Really? Can you help me with these?
Uh, yes. Yes, we can.
But we can't do anything until you get out of the car.
You'll have to open the door for me.
- OK. Um... - [chirps]
I need a-a chair. Oh, OK.
Oh, my... I'm sorry.
People are great, aren't they?
Real sweethearts.
[groans]
[Miranda whispers] OK.
I am so, so sorry.
- You will apologize to him. - Profusely.
And you will stay by his side all day...
- Yes. - Even during lunch.
I don't think I'll be wanting lunch.
Yes, yes, I will.
Fine. Go get Dr. Sloan.
Decreased breath sounds on the right side.
I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings.
There's a few things I don't talk about,
- and Cristina's one of them. - Um, so is there any chest pain
or is it just difficulty breathing?
Uh, it's... it's kinda both.
- It's cancer. - It's not cancer.
Ooh, it's cancer or it's, um...
anxiety about the wedding.
- Oh, when are you getting married? - Two weeks.
[clears throat and coughs]
Well, we're gonna need to get a chest X-ray,
so is there any chance that you could be pregnant?
- Oh... - [clears throat]
- Mnh-mnh. Not pregnant. - You're sure?
- She's sure. - Mm-hmm. Really super sure.
- [laughs] - [laughs] Shut up.
Um, uh,
I am a virgin.
Yeah. Uh, we're waiting for the wedding.
- [laughs] - [laughs] Danny's had sex before.
It is important to him that you know that.
[laughs] I didn't say anything.
- [sighs] OK. They think we're freaks. - No, we don't.
- No, not at all. - No, they think you're a freak,
- and I'm just very, very understanding. - [laughs]
[exhales]
Dr. Sloan, Dr. Bailey needs a consult
- in room 11-35. - I'll be right over.
[clicking keyboard keys]
- [Callie] Look away. - What?
- Stop staring at her. - I can't.
[clears throat]
Her last words to you were, "Leave me alone,"
leave me alone, leave me alone," only louder. Look away.
Maybe she just needs a little more time.
[elevator bell dings]
- I'll try to look away. - Thank you.
[clicking keyboard keys]
Did it hurt?
Getting shot? Oh, you're amazing.
Well, did you feel the bullet or did you just feel pain?
I feel pain now because you won't stop talking.
- And we have images. - [beeping]
- Yeah, there it is. - Dr. Yang, what's the best approach
- on a tumor like this? - I don't know.
[stammers]
It's a pituitary tumor,
so your, uh, access would be coming in from?
You go in transnasally. Can we book an O.R.?
What's the chance of me finishing a thought today?
Not great. Um, there's some compression,
so I'd like to get in sooner than later.
Dr. Yang, can you book an O.R., please? You'll be scrubbing in.
You know, if she wants to do it, you know, be my guest...
- Dr. Yang, book an O.R. - Fine.
OK, that's my patient in there. You're gonna let what's-her-face
with the learning disability scrub in?
Why don't you just shoot the guy?
Don't talk about shooting people in this building.
Don't criticize my surgeons.
Leave your patient. Go home.
Um, Mr. Adams, some time in your history,
you contracted H.P.V.
There are various types of the virus.
This one generally causes small warts.
But in rare cases like yours, there's an immune deficiency
that allows the warts to get out of control.
We went to a dermatologist in Pullman four years ago.
They were a lot smaller then.
- He removed a bunch of them, but... - They grew back.
Then we saw the guy again, and they grew back again.
They're always gonna grow back. And that's why we should just go home.
Well, if you don't do anything about it,
they're gonna continue to grow. You'll become completely disabled.
We need to do surgery.
You can't just scrape the stuff off?
No. Um, each one of the warts has its own blood supply.
So we need to cut and stitch each one.
[Jerry] So basically, I'm gonna go from looking like a tree
to looking like Frankenstein, right?
Super.
[Mark] Well, we'll be doing skin grafts at the same time,
which will help with your appearance and function.
That said, you're right, it's not a cure.
The warts will recur, but if you schedule surgeries regularly,
we might be able to keep them under control.
Do you see? It's what I told you. They can't help.
So a couple of years with me is, what...
...a waste of time?
We never go out, Jerry.
We sit in that damn house, day after day, month after month.
I want us to see a movie,
to go out to dinner,
I want to see... people.
Um, if the two of you want to discuss it, we can...
No. There's no more discussion.
You're having the surgery,
'cause if you don't,
I'm gonna leave you.
And you got nobody else... no friends,
even your brothers have given up. I'm it. I'm all that's left.
So you're having the surgery.
- Hey. - Got a bronchial obstruction.
Nice.
You think it's bad if I write my own name on your board?
I mean, I did bring in the patient, and they gave me privileges.
Shepherd and Shepherd.
- Classic. - What's going on?
You think I'm gonna let you do to him
what you did to my Mustang? I don't think so.
[eraser scrapes board]
[eraser thuds]
She's your sister. I... you're being like this
because she crashed your car a couple of years ago?
I totaled my mom's car. People make mistakes.
Right. When you totaled your mother's car,
- were you high on pain pills? - No.
Did you steal your mother's prescription pad
- so you could feed your addiction? - She stole your prescription pad?
Yeah, and then when she went home, she O.D.'ed.
She was dead for three minutes. I saved her.
That's what she put my mother through after losing my father
and raising five kids on her own, so, no, I don't trust her in my O.R., OK?
Hey, you paged me. Is everything OK?
I have to get away from Shepherd for, like, ten minutes.
He's like the K.G.B. He's everywhere.
- He's trying to help. - Yeah? Well, make him stop.
Would you love me if I wasn't a surgeon?
I would love you if you were a plumber.
[inhales and exhales deeply]
But would you love you if you weren't a surgeon?
I don't know. M-maybe.
I can't sleep when you're not there.
Then I'll be there.
- Chief. - Karev.
Oh, hey.
Um, can you talk to Cristina about getting her own place?
Arizona's about to move in, and it's kinda crowded.
They want to move out. It's just, they haven't gotten their act together.
And, uh, if I ask her about it, I'm a bitch.
But if you ask her about it, you're her best friend,
inquiring about a healthy next step in her married life.
Cristina's career is hanging on by a thread.
She can't look at an O.R.
without breaking into a cold sweat, she's a newlywed,
and last night, she slept in my bed
because Owen was in surgery, and she was afraid to be alone.
You really want to put her out of her house?
[elevator bell dings]
Did you talk to her about Cristina?
We're monsters.
Hmm?
- A virgin... at 27? - Yep.
Well, maybe she was waiting for the right person to come along,
someone special, someone who really got her.
It's sweet. It's...
- It's idealistic. - It's smart is what it is.
If you don't sleep with 'em, you don't get attached.
Y-you sleep with them, and then you get attached
even when you don't want to, even when you specifically pick
someone that you are sure
that you couldn't possibly get attached, and then boom, you're hooked.
- Graspers. - Is that the mass?
- [sighs] Yep. - Is it a tumor?
No, it... it looks like... a foreign object.
All right. I got it.
What the hell is that?
- A condom? - Yep.
Wait, and she aspirated it?
A condom in her lung? I'm gonna gag.
- And her fiancé thinks she's a virgin. - [chuckles]
- So I... - OK, here we go. Here we go.
- Check it out. - [Cristina] Ew. Ew. Ew.
OK, now I think I'm gonna gag.
[Cristina] Oh, look at Grey. It looks like she's gonna heave.
[Jackson] She's looked like that all day.
I mean, I kinda wish I was in there.
What?
Seriously, how often does a case like this come along?
About as often as 27-year-old virgin brides.
She could still be a virgin.
Just 'cause she's 27, I mean, it's... it's not impossible.
- Hey. - Hey.
My wife is sleeping in your bed.
Yes, she is, with Meredith, technically.
She's sleeping with Meredith.
- I'm on the other side of the bed. - That... I'm sorry.
- Don't you find that a little strange? - Mm-hmm.
- Did you see E. T. ? - The movie? Yeah. Years ago. Why?
- Remember the kid Elliott? - Mm-hmm.
He and E.T. had this weird and disturbing bond.
If he got sick, E.T. got sick.
If E.T. got drunk, Elliott would get drunk.
That's kinda like Cristina and Meredith.
Meanwhile, you and I are like
the, um, the government guys in the white hazmat suits.
You know, we're trying to steer 'em in the right direction,
but in the end, we just don't understand.
[chuckles] And you're OK with that?
I fish. I'm building a house. I've recently taken up golf.
That helps.
I'm looking out for her.
Thank you.
[Jackson] So, Karev, how old were you your first time?
15. School nurse, back of her car.
15? That's impressive.
When I was 16, she taught me how to drive that same car.
[Meredith laughs]
Sophomore in high school, Paul Waxman,
had absolutely no idea what he was doing.
Mm.
Junior prom, Sarah Richardson and Penny Caraway,
- together. - [whistles]
I knew exactly what I was doing.
- 19. - 19?
Mm-hmm. I was very focused on my studies.
It was my Chem T.A. He was a whole head shorter than me,
but... man, he was smart.
[laughs]
Hey, April.
I'm not talking about this. It was a private... private memory.
What happened, did the guy die?
- Alex. - Oh, did it last, like, three seconds,
- so you don't know if it counted? - No.
Mm-hmm.
Uh...
It was on the beach at sunset. It was beautiful.
- [laughs] - [Jackson] Sunset?
- [April] Yeah. - Really? Weren't there people there?
Oh, on the beach? Man, you get sand up in places
- you don't want to get sand. - [Alex] Mosquitoes.
- Mm-hmm. Yeah. - Ha! You're a virgin.
- No, I'm not. - Oh, my God. You are!
[Jackson] She is. [laughs]
Oh, my God. Do it. Do it. Do it to her right now.
Alex, go deflower her. Do it. Do it.
It was... it was on the beach at sunset, OK?
OK, leave her alone.
April, the beach at sunset is very nice.
[man speaks indistinctly]
There's a gallery upstairs. Have a seat. You can watch.
OK, you know what, smart boy?
You can pretend like we aren't related, but we are.
And something happened to you.
What is it that you want from me, Amy?
OK, can you imagine for a second that this is not all about you?
Two men in my family have been shot,
one of them didn't survive it, and even that
I can't talk about because I was 5, and I barely remember it.
- Don't make this about Dad. - We can't make it about anything!
You won't talk about Dad. You won't talk about this.
I'm sorry this is hard for you. It's been hard for a lot of people.
Now I have an operation I have to go do. Go home.
No, I'm not going anywhere. He's my patient. I'm helping you.
I don't need help. I have an exceedingly capable resident.
Really?
Uh, sorry I'm late. There's a long line at the cafeteria.
- You're right. Crack team. - Fine. You can stay.
[saw buzzing]
[buzzing continues]
Dr. Bailey, how can you tell which is horn and which is finger?
If there's no bleeding, I'm still cutting off the horn.
If there's a lot of bleeding, I'm probably cutting off a finger.
Sometimes this job is very simple, Dr. Avery.
[crackles]
[Lexie] Oh.
- I can do that if you want. - She's fine. Right, Dr. Grey?
Right.
- [clatters] - Ugh.
- What? - Nothing.
[buzzing resumes]
Danny, uh, could you wait outside just for a couple of minutes?
Why? is... is everything OK? Is she...
Oh, no. Whatever you have to tell me, you can say it in front of him.
OK. Um...
[inhales deeply]
[exhales] Gretchen, you've... um...
[chuckles] Oh, OK. Gretchen, wh...
Uh, what... what happened is, um...
The blockage in your lung...
...was a condom.
Apparently, you inhaled it.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
So the good news is that we've removed it,
and you should be feeling much better.
- What? - Danny, Danny...
Wait a minute. I've... I've... I've waited two years,
and you been having sex with someone else?
No, no, no, no.
Plenty of people use condoms to protect against
sexually transmitted diseases when they're doing...
other sorts of things.
We don't.
Danny, please! Danny, don't! Danny.
OK, you see how I'm removing the tumor gently?
Not really.
[monitor beeping]
- OK, irrigate and suction. - [gurgles]
Good. Good. OK. Can you see now?
[beeping continues]
Yeah, I can.
OK. You should be able to see a little bit better now,
- because I'm gonna be doing... - [monitor beeping erratically]
Oh, damn it. Oh, no. It's bleeding too much.
- The carotid? - Could be. OK. Backing out now.
OK, Dr. Yang, I need you to do
- some nasal packing, please. - Uh, no. Um, um, you can do it.
It doesn't have to be pretty. Just pack it in there.
- No, I-I can't. - Yes, you can. Just do it.
No, stop, stop. Please stop it. I just...
You do it.
[beeping continues]
Pass me gelfoam and thrombin.
- Give me suction. - [beeping continues]
All right. We're gonna have to open him up.
- [beeping continues] - [suction gurgles]
What happened to you, Karev?
Uh, patient wasn't critical, so I took the stairs.
Y-you do that all day?
Yeah. It's good exercise. What's the big deal?
Well, the big deal is, you're... you're sweaty
and you... [sniffs] and you smell.
And you're not going into my O.R.
What the hell's the matter with you today?
Nothing, I-I...
Karev, you stink. Now go take a shower.
[elevator bell dings]
- [monitor beeping] - [Mark] Oh.
- What? - I thought I had some normal skin here,
but it's already starting to grow warts.
What does that mean?
[Miranda] It means, Jerry's not going to get his skin grafts
anytime soon.
He's gonna have a lot of open wounds.
So he was right. He is gonna look like Frankenstein.
[Lexie] Maybe I should go update the wife.
You know, prepare her for the worst?
I mean, if... if I were her, I would... I would want to know
- sooner than later. - You're not going anywhere.
Which is fine, because I'm... I'm fine right here.
I'm... I'm just saying, if... if, you know, if I were the wife,
I'd want to know sooner than later.
Later it is, then.
[crackles]
[door opens]
I need my mother's engagement ring back.
- Can I have it, please? - Danny, please don't do this, OK?
- If I could just... - She didn't cheat on you.
- Yeah? - She didn't.
She told us she has a friend named Jeanette
who threw her a bachelorette party.
- Yeah. - Sometimes at bachelorette parties,
there's a section of the party known as the Tupperware segment,
only it isn't really Tupperware.
It's intimate items, and there's someone
who shows you how to use all of these items.
So the instructor was instructing the attendees
in techniques for, um, applying a certain apparatus
to something that might s... simulate a...
She put a condom on a banana with her mouth
- and accidentally inhaled it. - [Gretchen sniffles]
- Gretchen? - [crying] I choked, OK?
And I thought that I swallowed it.
- [sniffles] - [laughing]
Obviously I have no idea what I'm doing.
I just wanted you to have a good time on our wedding night.
And will you please stop laughing at me?
I'm gonna love our wedding night, OK?
No matter what, I'm gonna love it,
because I love you.
- [whimpers] - [laughing]
[Gretchen] Stop it.
[Gretchen and Danny laugh]
[monitor beeping rhythmically]
- [Derek] You got it? - [Amy] Yep.
- You sure? Because I can get it. - You know, I do this for a living.
[Derek] I know. I just want to make sure you got it.
Done. Wow.
Would you look at that? I have impressed even myself.
So you're done. I can go?
I am done.
[trash can lid rattles]
- [door closes] - How did she get past her internship?
- Shut up. - Derek, come on. She's a dud.
She wasn't ready, and I pushed her.
Yeah, she wasn't ready because she's a dud.
Cristina Yang saved my life.
She saved my life.
I owe her everything. Get out.
Get the hell out.
[instruments clatter]
[door opens and closes]
[monitor beeping rhythmically]
[Jackson] 12 pounds.
- eBay, here I come. - [Lexie laughs]
- Dr. Grey. - [laughing] I'm sorry.
- You are doctors. - [Jackson laughing]
If you're going to be doctors, caregivers,
you need to be able to handle anything
the human body throws at you.
[crackles]
[gasps] Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, God!
Look right there. A spider. It's a spider. Oh! J... no, no.
Come on. Somebody do something, please. It's a spider.
- That? - Yes! It just crawled
right out of that horn. Quick, kill it! Kill it!
- I... it... - [squishes]
Thank you. Thank you.
Oh, thank you. Oh, thank you.
OK. OK. Whew.
[woman] Dr. Hines to Labor and Delivery.
Dr. Hines, Labor and Delivery.
I wouldn't have picked you
to be a part of my life.
Professionally? Sure,
if you didn't think my field was so uninteresting.
But personally?
- We wouldn't have picked each other. - [flicks cards]
But now we're family.
And that means I worry about you.
[flicks cards]
- [smacks table] - You're flaming out.
And as someone who cares about you, it's not OK.
As someone who's seen a lot of residents come and go,
but very, very few with your potential...
...it is not OK.
I can barely remember it...
...the whole procedure. I...
I took a bullet out of your chest,
and... and all I can remember are...
...bits and pieces,
and the bits and pieces I do remember,
uh, come back at very inconvenient times.
- [slaps down cards] - So, um, end of story, OK?
- Karev. - Uh, y-yes, sir.
You laid in a pool of your own blood in that elevator
and almost died. That's why you're taking the stairs.
Now someday you're gonna have a critical patient,
and you won't be able to run up the stairs.
So... you and I...
- ...are gonna take that elevator... - [elevator bell dings]
...right now, together.
And you're gonna stay on it until you're not scared.
You're just bored.
We're gonna have to do the surgery in stages.
We may try stretching the skin.
But right now, there's not enough normal skin to cut from,
which means we may have to revisit the idea of skin grafts later.
How much later?
That depends on how much normal skin we find.
About six months to a year.
[sighs]
Still, in the meantime...
he's still gonna look like a freak?
He'll look better than he did.
But there will be substantial scarring.
So...
I'm not even gonna get a few months
where he's gonna look halfway normal,
where he might want to go out,
where he might want to do something besides
wall himself up in our house all day?
You're both just gonna have to be patient.
You met my husband, Dr. Sloan.
You really think he can do that?
I haven't touched him in four years...
...haven't kissed him,
haven't held his hand.
He won't let me.
I love him so much, but... [sniffles]
...I need to live a life, and he wants to be a hermit.
And I think...
love isn't enough anymore.
Is that possible...
...that two people can really love each other,
and it just... isn't enough?
Mr. Donaldson had a heart attack,
so his arteries won't be quite as clean as mine,
but you'll get the basic idea.
Now... you opened me up. Where did you make the incision?
- I don't know. - Yes, you do.
Um, when I say that I don't know,
I'm not making it up. I-I... literally, I don't remember.
OK. Well, fortunately, I have some details.
You started here at the sternal notch
and went south 6 inches.
- OK, you know what? This is stupid. - No, it isn't.
What's the worst that could happen, you kill him?
Oh, ha ha, funny.
Take the scalpel.
[sighs]
Median...
...sternotomy.
Good. What happened next?
[exhales]
[buzzes]
[clicks switch]
[buzzes]
Don't worry. I'm leaving the premises.
We were in the back of the store.
Dad had just given you two pennies,
and you always hid them behind the counter
in this big crack in the floorboards.
You said you were saving them so you could buy a town.
And then the two guys came in. We could hear them talking,
but you weren't paying attention until Dad yelled,
and you looked up.
They had already pulled the gun, they had already taken the money,
and now they wanted the watch that Mom gave him.
He wouldn't give it up.
There was a gunshot.
You... lunged forward.
[voice breaking] I remember. I was trying to get to him,
but... I couldn't move.
That's because I was holding you so tight
that you couldn't budge.
I put one hand over your mouth so you wouldn't scream
and wrapped the other one around you
and just held on for dear life, prayed to God
that you'd be quiet and you wouldn't say anything.
You were so little.
I think that's what I've always wanted all these years,
is you just to stay...
...little and...
...quiet and safe.
But you're not any of those things.
You're loud and fearless, and it scares the crap out of me.
[chuckles]
How am I supposed to call you up and tell you that I've been shot?
I can't tell you about my pain.
I don't want you to know that pain exists.
Oh. I can't believe that you keep brandy in your locker.
- A patient gave it to me. - Oh, yeah?
You sneak in and take a swig every time you see a spider?
Every time I see a spider crawl out of a human limb, yes.
- And it is a phobia. - Mm-hmm.
OK? It is not... hey. Give me back my bottle.
Oh, no, no, no, Teddy needs it.
- She's pathetic. - That's right.
- Mm-hmm. - You finish it, I'll hurt you.
We're gonna live in a frat house forever, aren't we?
[Callie] Hey, no. Meredith's is a frat house.
Our place is just that
off-campus apartment where the burnouts go to buy pot.
Did you tell him good-bye?
I've kinda been avoiding him.
I'm afraid if I see him, I'll start to cry,
and then he'll think I'm some kind of crazy stalker.
- [elevator bell dings] - [Arizona] Uh...
[clears throat] Uh, let's go buy Bailey a real drink.
- Yeah. - Yeah, let's go do that.
Excuse us.
- [Arizona] Hi. - Hi.
[door closes]
Hey. You gonna have dinner with me?
Maybe we should just settle for a peck on the cheek
and a wave good-bye and keep it simple.
Yeah, that sounds, uh...
incredibly... dissatisfying.
[sighs]
I like you more than I wanted to.
And, uh...
...and I knew what this was.
[voice breaks] I don't know what my problem is.
Well, I've got a couple of thoughts about that.
[laughs] I thought I was the one person
that you weren't gonna analyze.
Well, I'm not entirely sure it requires a professional.
I mean, either I'm wildly attractive,
and your formidable reason is no match for my...
...incredible magnetism.
Or... you, uh,
fall for men who aren't available...
...engaged...
...or only in town for a few weeks.
[cries]
You're making some lousy choices, Altman.
You deserve a little more.
Nobody chooses to be a freak.
[elevator bell dings]
[Meredith] Most people don't even realize they're a freak
until it's way too late to change it.
[clicks button]
[bell on door rings]
Come on. Just admit it. You're still a virgin.
- No, I'm not. - Hey, there's no shame in it.
- Really? - No, there's shame.
- A lot of shame. Tell her, Mer. - I, um...
- [laughs] - I was gonna say something,
and then I forgot to stop drinking.
Has anybody seen Cristina?
OK. So today only one person looked at me like a psycho
who might run down the hall naked,
and Dr. Bailey screamed like a little bitch baby
over a spider,
so I'm feeling pretty good, you know, for a crazy person.
Well, nobody gives a crap if you're crazy. We're all crazy.
Yeah, look at April. She's still a virgin. [laughs]
Yeah, well, Mark gives a crap, OK?
He stares at me like I'm a menace to myself and everyone around me.
- Wait. You're still a virgin? - Stop. OK?
Just stop.
I'm a virgin. Yes. So what?
It's not something I talk about, OK?
We all have things we don't talk about.
Alex, you've been afraid of the elevator
for, like, a month, but I never said anything
because it's none of my business.
And, Jackson, you wake up every night screaming
because you have nightmares. And, Meredith,
you don't talk about Cristina because you're afraid
she's never gonna be the same Cristina again.
And, Lexie... [laughs] for God sake,
Mark never thought you were a psycho. He loves you.
That's why he stares at you,
because he can't keep his eyes off the woman he loves.
Of course, he's never
gonna say anything 'cause he doesn't feel like he can.
Look, we all have stuff we don't talk about.
I am a 28-year-old virgin, mainly because
I wanted my first time to be special,
and then I waited too long, and partially because
I'm pretty sure guys find me annoying.
I'm a virgin. That doesn't make it drinks conversation.
We all have stuff we don't talk about.
Oh, April. I'm liking you more and more.
Thank you.
OK.
[door closes]
- You're not on call tonight? - No. No, I'm home all night.
- Good. - [pats couch]
Come here.
How was your day?
[exhales deeply]
I think...
...I could be happy being a plumber.
[laughter, door rattles]
Mm. Mm. Mm.
[Arizona and Callie laugh]
- I... - Whoa.
Mm.
[grunts]
- Aah! - Whoa!
- [moaning] - [door slams]
[giggling and screaming]
- We have to get our own place. - Yeah.
[Meredith] But no matter how much of a freak you end up being...
[elevator bell dings]
...chances are, there's still someone out there for you.
[kissing sounds]
Unless, of course, they've already moved on...
So what time do you have to be at the airport?
[pants] Not for another couple of hours.
- Mm. - Mm.
Because when it comes to love...
[door closes]
...even freaks can't wait forever.