1
00:00:32,116 --> 00:00:33,785
[thunder rumbling]

2
00:00:44,546 --> 00:00:46,548
[horse approaching]

3
00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:56,641
Onward, Chauncey!

4
00:00:56,808 --> 00:00:59,519
To the highest room
of the tallest tower

5
00:00:59,686 --> 00:01:04,732
where my princess awaits rescue
from her handsome Prince Charming!

6
00:01:04,899 --> 00:01:07,151
[dramatic instrumental music
playing on gramophone]

7
00:01:14,617 --> 00:01:15,994
[exclaiming]

8
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:19,914
This is worse than <i>Love Letters.</i>
I hate dinner theater!

9
00:01:20,081 --> 00:01:21,332
Me, too.

10
00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:25,169
Whoa there, Chauncey!

11
00:01:26,504 --> 00:01:27,463
Hark!

12
00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:30,133
The brave
Prince Charming approacheth.

13
00:01:30,300 --> 00:01:31,593
Fear not, fair maiden.

14
00:01:31,759 --> 00:01:34,137
I shall slay the monster
that guards you,

15
00:01:34,304 --> 00:01:37,015
and then take my place as rightful king.

16
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:39,392
What did she say?

17
00:01:40,310 --> 00:01:41,519
[growling]

18
00:01:41,686 --> 00:01:42,854
[audience cheering]

19
00:01:43,021 --> 00:01:44,314
It's Shrek!

20
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:46,816
Whoo, Shrek, yeah!

21
00:01:48,693 --> 00:01:53,031
Prepare, foul beast,
to enter into a world of pain

22
00:01:53,197 --> 00:01:55,241
with which you are not familiar!

23
00:01:55,408 --> 00:01:56,784
<i>♪ Happy birthday to thee</i>

24
00:01:56,951 --> 00:01:57,952
<i>Happy birthday to thee ♪</i>

25
00:01:58,119 --> 00:02:00,038
Do you mind?

26
00:02:00,204 --> 00:02:02,749
Do you mind? Boring!

27
00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:07,420
[clearing Throat]

28
00:02:07,587 --> 00:02:09,922
Prepare, foul beast...

29
00:02:14,761 --> 00:02:16,346
[all laughing]

30
00:02:19,057 --> 00:02:21,684
Someday you'll be sorry.

31
00:02:21,851 --> 00:02:23,645
[man] We already are!

32
00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:29,692
[growling]

33
00:02:38,743 --> 00:02:40,578
[sobbing]

34
00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:50,421
Mommy...

35
00:02:54,717 --> 00:02:57,428
You're right. I can't let this happen.

36
00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,098
I can't!

37
00:03:01,307 --> 00:03:05,144
I am the rightful king of Far Far Away.

38
00:03:05,311 --> 00:03:07,271
And I promise you this, Mother,

39
00:03:07,438 --> 00:03:10,024
I will restore dignity to my throne.

40
00:03:15,029 --> 00:03:19,909
And this time,
no one will stand in my way.

41
00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:38,928
Good morning.

42
00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:41,305
Good morning.

43
00:03:41,472 --> 00:03:43,099
[exclaiming]

44
00:03:43,266 --> 00:03:44,475
Morning breath.

45
00:03:44,642 --> 00:03:47,270
I know. Isn't it wonderful?

46
00:03:48,271 --> 00:03:50,690
<i>[singing]
♪ Good morning, good morning</i>

47
00:03:50,857 --> 00:03:52,942
<i>♪ The sun is shining through</i>

48
00:03:53,109 --> 00:03:55,570
<i>♪ Good morning, good morning, to you</i>

49
00:03:55,737 --> 00:03:57,864
<i>♪ And you! And you! ♪</i>

50
00:04:01,826 --> 00:04:03,327
They grow up so fast.

51
00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:05,371
Not fast enough.

52
00:04:06,664 --> 00:04:10,460
OK, you have a very full day
filling in for the King and Queen.

53
00:04:10,626 --> 00:04:13,588
There are several functions
that require your attendance, sir.

54
00:04:13,755 --> 00:04:15,465
Great! Let's get started.

55
00:04:15,631 --> 00:04:16,632
[snoring]

56
00:04:16,799 --> 00:04:19,594
Come on, lazybones.
It's time to get moving!

57
00:04:19,761 --> 00:04:20,803
[exclaiming]

58
00:04:20,970 --> 00:04:23,097
You know, you really need
to get yourself a pair of jammies.

59
00:04:26,726 --> 00:04:30,313
["Royal Pain" playing]

60
00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:33,691
<i>♪ I got some sleep and I needed it</i>

61
00:04:33,858 --> 00:04:36,694
<i>♪ Not a lot, just a little bit</i>

62
00:04:36,861 --> 00:04:39,781
<i>♪ Someone's always trying
to keep me from it</i>

63
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:43,201
<i>♪ It's a crying shame</i>

64
00:04:43,367 --> 00:04:46,037
<i>♪ It's a royal pain in the neck ♪</i>

65
00:04:46,204 --> 00:04:47,705
I knight thee.

66
00:04:47,872 --> 00:04:49,540
[man groaning]

67
00:04:49,707 --> 00:04:50,792
Ooh.

68
00:04:55,505 --> 00:04:56,756
[passengers screaming]

69
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:12,396
Since you're filling in for one,
you might as well look like a real king.

70
00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:15,983
Can somebody come in here
and work on Shrek, please?

71
00:05:17,068 --> 00:05:19,153
[coughing]
I will see what I can do.

72
00:05:23,866 --> 00:05:25,201
[exclaiming]

73
00:05:27,954 --> 00:05:28,955
Ow!

74
00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:40,508
Whoa!

75
00:05:40,675 --> 00:05:42,134
Yeah, wow.

76
00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:43,427
[hesitating]

77
00:05:43,594 --> 00:05:45,596
Is this really necessary?

78
00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:48,182
[laughing] Quite necessary, Fiona.

79
00:05:48,349 --> 00:05:50,852
- I'm Shrek, you twit.
- Whatever.

80
00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:54,772
OK, peoples, this isn't a rehearsal.
Let's see some hustle!

81
00:05:54,939 --> 00:05:56,983
Smiles, everyone! Smiles!

82
00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:59,986
I don't know how much longer
I can keep this up, Fiona.

83
00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:03,322
I'm sorry, Shrek, but can you please
just try to grin and bear it?

84
00:06:03,489 --> 00:06:05,449
It's just until Dad gets better.

85
00:06:05,616 --> 00:06:06,784
[groaning]

86
00:06:07,827 --> 00:06:09,579
- Shrek?
- Yeah?

87
00:06:10,496 --> 00:06:11,956
You look handsome.

88
00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:14,166
Come here, you.

89
00:06:24,093 --> 00:06:26,262
[both panting]

90
00:06:28,431 --> 00:06:30,057
My butt is itching up a storm,

91
00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:32,643
and I can't reach it
in this monkey suit.

92
00:06:32,810 --> 00:06:33,769
[whistling]

93
00:06:33,936 --> 00:06:36,981
Hey, you! Come here.
What's your name?

94
00:06:37,148 --> 00:06:38,816
Fiddlesworth, sir.

95
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:40,484
Perfect.

96
00:06:40,693 --> 00:06:42,486
[fanfare]

97
00:06:43,404 --> 00:06:45,531
Ladies and gentlemen,

98
00:06:45,698 --> 00:06:48,910
Princess Fiona and Sir Shrek!

99
00:06:52,830 --> 00:06:54,040
[Shrek sighing in relief]

100
00:06:54,206 --> 00:06:57,668
[Shrek] You've got it.
A little over to the left. Yeah.

101
00:06:57,835 --> 00:07:00,046
That's it! That's good.

102
00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:02,173
- Oh, yeah! Scratch that thing!
- Shrek.

103
00:07:02,340 --> 00:07:03,507
[Shrek] You got it. You're on it.

104
00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:05,134
Shrek!

105
00:07:10,056 --> 00:07:12,475
- My eye! My eye!
- What are you doing?

106
00:07:19,190 --> 00:07:20,358
Fiona!

107
00:07:22,985 --> 00:07:25,863
- Are you OK?
- Yeah. I'm fine.

108
00:07:26,030 --> 00:07:27,031
[gasping]

109
00:07:30,284 --> 00:07:32,119
Shrimp! My favorite!

110
00:07:33,371 --> 00:07:35,039
[all screaming]

111
00:07:42,838 --> 00:07:45,466
- That's it! We're leaving!
- Please, calm down.

112
00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:46,717
Calm down?

113
00:07:46,884 --> 00:07:50,388
Who do you think we're kidding?
I am an ogre.

114
00:07:50,554 --> 00:07:54,183
I'm not cut out for this, Fiona,
and I never will be.

115
00:07:55,393 --> 00:07:56,811
[sighing]

116
00:07:58,396 --> 00:07:59,397
I think that went pretty well.

117
00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:00,773
Donkey!

118
00:08:01,232 --> 00:08:03,192
Come on now, Shrek!

119
00:08:03,359 --> 00:08:06,153
Some people just
don't understand boundaries.

120
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,321
[wails]

121
00:08:09,532 --> 00:08:13,077
[somber piano music plays]

122
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:15,705
[groaning]

123
00:08:15,871 --> 00:08:17,206
Just think.

124
00:08:17,373 --> 00:08:20,710
A couple more days,
and we'll be back home

125
00:08:20,876 --> 00:08:24,255
in our vermin-filled shack
strewn with fungus,

126
00:08:24,422 --> 00:08:26,674
filled with the rotting stench
of mud and neglect.

127
00:08:26,841 --> 00:08:29,468
Oh, you had me at "vermin-filled."

128
00:08:30,428 --> 00:08:35,099
And maybe even the pitter-patter
of little feet on the floor.

129
00:08:35,766 --> 00:08:38,477
That's right. The swamp rats
will be spawning.

130
00:08:38,978 --> 00:08:40,104
No.

131
00:08:40,271 --> 00:08:44,108
What I was thinking of
is a little bit bigger than a swamp rat.

132
00:08:44,275 --> 00:08:46,027
- Donkey?
- No, Shrek.

133
00:08:47,111 --> 00:08:50,156
- What if, theoretically...
- Yeah.

134
00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:52,324
...they were little ogre feet?

135
00:08:52,992 --> 00:08:54,035
[exclaiming]

136
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:55,536
[chuckling]

137
00:08:57,288 --> 00:08:58,456
[Shrek groaning]

138
00:08:58,622 --> 00:09:02,126
Honey, let's try
and be rational about this.

139
00:09:02,293 --> 00:09:04,587
Have you seen a baby lately?

140
00:09:04,754 --> 00:09:07,590
They just eat and poop, and they cry,

141
00:09:07,757 --> 00:09:10,801
and then they cry when they poop,
and they poop when they cry.

142
00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:14,305
Now, imagine an ogre baby.

143
00:09:14,472 --> 00:09:17,683
They extra-cry, and they extra-poop.

144
00:09:18,184 --> 00:09:21,812
Shrek, don't you ever think about
having a family?

145
00:09:22,646 --> 00:09:25,691
Right now, you're my family.

146
00:09:27,318 --> 00:09:28,402
[knocking at door]

147
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:29,570
[sighing]

148
00:09:29,737 --> 00:09:31,781
Well, somebody better be dying.

149
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:33,908
[King Harold coughing]

150
00:09:34,075 --> 00:09:35,785
I'm dying.

151
00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:38,204
[King Harold coughing]

152
00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:39,663
Harold?

153
00:09:41,874 --> 00:09:44,835
Don't forget to pay the gardener,
Lillian.

154
00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:46,629
Of course, darling.

155
00:09:46,796 --> 00:09:47,838
[coughing]

156
00:09:48,798 --> 00:09:50,257
Fiona.

157
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:51,383
Yes, Daddy?

158
00:09:51,550 --> 00:09:54,136
I know I've made many mistakes
with you.

159
00:09:54,303 --> 00:09:55,262
[sighing]

160
00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:56,680
It's OK.

161
00:09:56,847 --> 00:09:59,183
But your love for Shrek has...

162
00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:01,602
...taught me so much.

163
00:10:03,187 --> 00:10:05,397
My dear boy,

164
00:10:05,564 --> 00:10:08,442
I am proud to call you my son.

165
00:10:09,193 --> 00:10:12,154
And I'm proud to call you my frog...

166
00:10:12,321 --> 00:10:14,031
...King dad-in-law.

167
00:10:14,198 --> 00:10:19,370
Now there is a matter of business
to attend to.

168
00:10:20,746 --> 00:10:21,914
[gasping]

169
00:10:22,081 --> 00:10:24,041
[coughing]

170
00:10:30,756 --> 00:10:33,717
The Frog King is dead.

171
00:10:34,343 --> 00:10:35,594
[sobbing]

172
00:10:39,223 --> 00:10:40,349
[coughing]

173
00:10:41,976 --> 00:10:43,602
Put your hat back on, fool.

174
00:10:43,769 --> 00:10:45,062
Shrek,

175
00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:47,648
please come hither.

176
00:10:51,402 --> 00:10:52,695
Yeah, Dad?

177
00:10:52,862 --> 00:10:55,990
This kingdom needs a new king.

178
00:10:57,283 --> 00:11:01,787
You and Fiona are next
in line for the throne.

179
00:11:01,954 --> 00:11:03,497
[laughing]

180
00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:05,166
Next in line.

181
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:07,835
Now, you see, Dad,
that's why people love you.

182
00:11:08,002 --> 00:11:11,172
Even on your deathbed,
you're still making jokes.

183
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:12,548
[laughing]

184
00:11:15,301 --> 00:11:18,721
Come on, Dad. An ogre as king?

185
00:11:18,888 --> 00:11:21,307
I don't think that's such a good idea.

186
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:23,642
I mean, there's gotta be somebody else.

187
00:11:23,809 --> 00:11:25,144
Anybody!

188
00:11:25,311 --> 00:11:30,024
Aside from you,
there is only one remaining heir.

189
00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:33,444
Really? Who is he, Dad?

190
00:11:33,611 --> 00:11:35,321
His name is...

191
00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:38,115
Is...

192
00:11:38,282 --> 00:11:39,867
What's his name? What's his name?

193
00:11:40,034 --> 00:11:41,243
Is...

194
00:11:41,702 --> 00:11:43,329
[gasping]

195
00:11:43,495 --> 00:11:44,622
Daddy!

196
00:11:44,788 --> 00:11:47,166
[wheezing]

197
00:12:01,847 --> 00:12:03,849
His name is Arthur.

198
00:12:04,016 --> 00:12:05,267
Arthur?

199
00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,186
[coughing]

200
00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:09,104
[gasping]

201
00:12:09,647 --> 00:12:14,693
I know you'll do what's right.

202
00:12:18,822 --> 00:12:19,907
Harold?

203
00:12:20,241 --> 00:12:21,867
Dad? Dad!

204
00:12:23,244 --> 00:12:24,495
Dad?

205
00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:26,830
Do your thing, man.

206
00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:30,167
[sobbing]

207
00:12:56,652 --> 00:13:00,531
<i>[frogs singing]
♪ When you were young and your heart</i>

208
00:13:00,698 --> 00:13:02,992
<i>♪ Was an open book</i>

209
00:13:04,952 --> 00:13:08,664
<i>♪ You used to say live and let live</i>

210
00:13:09,123 --> 00:13:12,876
<i>♪ You know you did, you know you did
You know you did</i>

211
00:13:13,335 --> 00:13:18,966
<i>♪ But if this ever changing world
In which we're living</i>

212
00:13:19,133 --> 00:13:23,721
<i>♪ Makes you give in and cry</i>

213
00:13:26,015 --> 00:13:28,183
<i>♪ Say live and let die</i>

214
00:13:31,312 --> 00:13:33,105
<i>♪ Live and let die ♪</i>

215
00:13:54,918 --> 00:13:56,587
[chuckling]

216
00:14:10,142 --> 00:14:13,896
<i>[singing] ♪ Hey, lady
You, lady</i>

217
00:14:14,355 --> 00:14:16,273
<i>♪ Cursing at your life</i>

218
00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:19,985
<i>♪ You're a discontented mother</i>

219
00:14:21,570 --> 00:14:24,114
<i>♪ And a regimented wife ♪</i>

220
00:14:24,281 --> 00:14:25,824
[men cheering]

221
00:14:28,327 --> 00:14:29,787
[whooping]

222
00:14:31,288 --> 00:14:33,248
[singing continues]

223
00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:53,435
What does a prince have to do
to get a drink around here?

224
00:14:54,395 --> 00:14:56,397
Ah, Mabel!

225
00:14:56,563 --> 00:15:00,609
Why they call you an ugly stepsister,
I'll never know.

226
00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:04,655
Where's Doris? Taking the night off?

227
00:15:04,822 --> 00:15:08,075
She's not welcome here,
and neither are you.

228
00:15:08,242 --> 00:15:10,244
[spitting]

229
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:12,579
What do you want, Charming?

230
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:16,083
Not much. Just a chance at redemption.

231
00:15:18,377 --> 00:15:19,837
And a Fuzzy Navel.

232
00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:23,090
And Fuzzy Navels for all my friends!

233
00:15:27,219 --> 00:15:29,179
We're not your friends.

234
00:15:31,390 --> 00:15:33,600
You don't belong here.

235
00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:37,521
You're right. You're absolutely right,
but, I mean, do any of us?

236
00:15:37,688 --> 00:15:38,981
Do a number on his face.

237
00:15:39,148 --> 00:15:40,274
No, no! Wait, wait, wait!

238
00:15:40,441 --> 00:15:44,027
No, look.
We are more alike than you think.

239
00:15:44,194 --> 00:15:45,154
Wicked Witch!

240
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:48,115
The Seven Dwarfs saved Snow White,
and then what happened?

241
00:15:48,282 --> 00:15:49,241
Oh, what's it to you?

242
00:15:49,408 --> 00:15:51,869
They left you the unfairest of them all.

243
00:15:52,035 --> 00:15:53,370
Now here you are,

244
00:15:53,537 --> 00:15:56,123
hustling pool to get your next meal.

245
00:15:56,915 --> 00:15:58,709
How does that feel?

246
00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:05,674
[crying] Pretty unfair.

247
00:16:05,841 --> 00:16:07,176
And you!

248
00:16:07,342 --> 00:16:11,388
Your star puppet abandons the show
to go and find his father.

249
00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:13,348
[sniffling]

250
00:16:13,515 --> 00:16:15,893
I hate that little wooden puppet.

251
00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:17,394
And Hook.

252
00:16:17,978 --> 00:16:19,646
Need I say more?

253
00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:21,982
[groaning]

254
00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:25,694
- And you, Frumpypigskin!
- Rumpelstiltskin.

255
00:16:25,861 --> 00:16:28,614
Where's that firstborn
you were promised, eh?

256
00:16:30,908 --> 00:16:31,825
Mabel.

257
00:16:31,992 --> 00:16:34,661
Remember how you couldn't
get your little fat foot

258
00:16:34,828 --> 00:16:37,080
into that tiny glass slipper?

259
00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:42,920
Cinderella is in Far Far Away right now

260
00:16:43,086 --> 00:16:44,421
eating bonbons,

261
00:16:44,588 --> 00:16:47,883
cavorting with every little last
fairytale creature

262
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:50,302
that has ever done you wrong!

263
00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:55,849
Once upon a time, someone decided
that we were the losers.

264
00:16:56,433 --> 00:16:58,936
But there are two sides to every story,

265
00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:01,730
and our side has not been told!

266
00:17:01,897 --> 00:17:03,941
So who will join me?

267
00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:06,944
Who wants to come out
on top for once?

268
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:11,406
- Who wants their "happily ever after"?
- Yeah.

269
00:17:11,949 --> 00:17:15,285
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!

270
00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:30,676
This way, gents.

271
00:17:42,145 --> 00:17:44,314
It's out of my hands, señorita.

272
00:17:44,481 --> 00:17:47,067
The winds of fate
have blown on my destiny.

273
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:51,154
But I will never forget you.
You are the love of my life.

274
00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:53,240
As are you.

275
00:17:53,657 --> 00:17:54,950
And, you.

276
00:17:55,117 --> 00:17:56,034
[stammering]

277
00:17:56,201 --> 00:17:59,079
Hi. I don't know you, but I'd like to.

278
00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:00,330
[meowing]

279
00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:01,790
I got to go!

280
00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:03,166
[bellowing]

281
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:05,168
I know. I know.
I don't wanna leave you either, baby.

282
00:18:05,335 --> 00:18:08,547
But you know how Shrek is.
The dude's lost without me.

283
00:18:08,714 --> 00:18:12,342
But don't worry.
I'll send you airmail kisses every day!

284
00:18:13,552 --> 00:18:15,929
All right, be strong, babies. Be strong.

285
00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:18,557
Now, Coco, Peanut,
you listen to your mama, all right?

286
00:18:18,724 --> 00:18:22,853
And, Bananas, no more roasting
marshmallows on your sister's head.

287
00:18:23,604 --> 00:18:25,147
That's my special boy!

288
00:18:25,314 --> 00:18:28,525
Come here, all of you!
Give your daddy a big hug!

289
00:18:28,859 --> 00:18:30,277
[laughing]

290
00:18:33,697 --> 00:18:34,823
[sighing]

291
00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:36,325
Shrek?

292
00:18:37,326 --> 00:18:41,204
Maybe you should just stay and be King.

293
00:18:41,371 --> 00:18:45,375
Come on. There's no way
I could ever run a kingdom.

294
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:48,086
That's why your cousin Arthur
is a perfect choice.

295
00:18:48,253 --> 00:18:51,548
It's not that. No. It's... Well, see...

296
00:18:51,715 --> 00:18:55,761
And if he gives me any trouble,
I've always got persuasion and reason.

297
00:18:55,927 --> 00:18:58,847
Here's persuasion, and here's reason.

298
00:19:01,642 --> 00:19:02,893
Fiona,

299
00:19:03,060 --> 00:19:06,063
soon it's just going to be you, me

300
00:19:06,647 --> 00:19:08,190
and our swamp.

301
00:19:08,607 --> 00:19:09,900
[sighing]

302
00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:12,194
It's not going to be just you and me.

303
00:19:12,361 --> 00:19:13,487
[foghorn blowing]

304
00:19:13,654 --> 00:19:15,906
All aboard!

305
00:19:16,865 --> 00:19:19,826
It will be. I promise.

306
00:19:20,911 --> 00:19:22,412
I love you.

307
00:19:22,913 --> 00:19:24,456
[sighing]

308
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:29,086
[all] Aw!

309
00:19:29,252 --> 00:19:31,922
- That's lovely.
- Bye-bye, babies!

310
00:19:40,097 --> 00:19:41,098
Shrek!

311
00:19:41,264 --> 00:19:42,140
Yeah?

312
00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:44,184
- Wait!
- What is it?

313
00:19:44,768 --> 00:19:46,436
I'm... I'm...

314
00:19:46,603 --> 00:19:48,814
[foghorn blowing]

315
00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:50,065
[chuckling]

316
00:19:50,232 --> 00:19:52,442
I love you, too, honey!

317
00:19:52,609 --> 00:19:54,903
No! I said I'm...

318
00:19:55,070 --> 00:19:56,988
[foghorn blowing]

319
00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:59,408
You're what?

320
00:19:59,574 --> 00:20:01,993
I said I'm pregnant!

321
00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:04,246
[all cheering]

322
00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:06,123
Oh.

323
00:20:06,289 --> 00:20:07,666
What was that?

324
00:20:07,833 --> 00:20:10,919
You're going to be a father!

325
00:20:11,086 --> 00:20:12,629
[chuckling]

326
00:20:12,796 --> 00:20:14,548
That's great!

327
00:20:14,715 --> 00:20:18,009
Really? I'm glad you think so!

328
00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:19,761
I love you!

329
00:20:19,928 --> 00:20:21,054
Yeah!

330
00:20:21,763 --> 00:20:24,099
Me, too! You!

331
00:20:27,686 --> 00:20:31,481
[Donkey] I'm going to be an uncle!
I'm going to be an uncle!

332
00:20:31,648 --> 00:20:34,401
[Puss] And you, my friend,
are royally...

333
00:20:34,568 --> 00:20:37,404
[foghorn blowing]

334
00:20:59,384 --> 00:21:01,261
[crashing]

335
00:21:11,730 --> 00:21:13,231
[exclaiming]

336
00:21:13,398 --> 00:21:14,441
Home.

337
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:17,694
[whooping]

338
00:21:19,321 --> 00:21:20,947
[exclaiming]

339
00:21:26,703 --> 00:21:27,871
[Fiona] Shrek!

340
00:21:28,038 --> 00:21:29,664
[exclaiming]

341
00:21:30,499 --> 00:21:31,708
Fiona!

342
00:21:35,754 --> 00:21:36,963
Fiona?

343
00:21:53,563 --> 00:21:54,815
[gurgling]

344
00:21:56,399 --> 00:21:57,651
Oh, no.

345
00:21:59,528 --> 00:22:00,695
[burping]

346
00:22:01,071 --> 00:22:03,406
Better out than in, I always say.

347
00:22:03,573 --> 00:22:04,699
[laughing]

348
00:22:05,116 --> 00:22:06,368
[exclaiming]

349
00:22:11,665 --> 00:22:13,124
[crying]

350
00:22:13,291 --> 00:22:17,003
No, no, no! No, no, no! No.

351
00:22:17,170 --> 00:22:19,756
- It's OK. It's gonna be all right.
- Dada.

352
00:22:20,090 --> 00:22:21,258
Huh?

353
00:22:23,426 --> 00:22:26,221
Hey! Stop! Hey, wait!

354
00:22:29,558 --> 00:22:31,434
Hey, hey. No, no. No!

355
00:22:32,269 --> 00:22:34,563
No. No, no, no, no. No, no.

356
00:22:35,605 --> 00:22:36,940
- Hey! Hey!
- [screaming]

357
00:22:39,067 --> 00:22:41,653
Oh, no. Hey, hey, wait.
Would you... Hey!

358
00:22:44,447 --> 00:22:45,448
[babbling]

359
00:22:49,786 --> 00:22:51,079
[Shrek exclaiming]

360
00:22:54,916 --> 00:22:55,917
Dada!

361
00:23:13,977 --> 00:23:14,978
[screaming]

362
00:23:16,313 --> 00:23:17,814
Donkey. Donkey!

363
00:23:17,981 --> 00:23:18,940
Wake up!

364
00:23:19,107 --> 00:23:20,108
[babbling]

365
00:23:21,735 --> 00:23:22,903
Dada!

366
00:23:23,153 --> 00:23:25,196
[foghorn blowing]

367
00:23:25,363 --> 00:23:27,449
Shrek! Shrek! Are you OK?

368
00:23:27,616 --> 00:23:28,992
Oh!

369
00:23:29,159 --> 00:23:32,120
I can't believe
I'm going to be a father.

370
00:23:32,287 --> 00:23:34,372
How did this happen?

371
00:23:34,539 --> 00:23:36,041
Allow me to explain.

372
00:23:36,207 --> 00:23:39,085
You see, when a man has
certain feelings for a woman,

373
00:23:39,252 --> 00:23:41,671
a powerful urge sweeps over him.

374
00:23:41,838 --> 00:23:43,840
I know how it happened.

375
00:23:45,300 --> 00:23:47,344
I just can't believe it.

376
00:23:50,180 --> 00:23:51,473
How does it happen?

377
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:52,974
[sighing]

378
00:23:58,897 --> 00:24:04,152
<i>[singing] ♪ And the cat's in the cradle
and the silver spoon</i>

379
00:24:04,319 --> 00:24:06,821
<i>♪ Little Boy Blue
and the Man in the Moon</i>

380
00:24:06,988 --> 00:24:09,532
<i>♪ When you coming home, Son?
I don't know when</i>

381
00:24:09,699 --> 00:24:12,035
<i>♪ But we'll get together then, Dad ♪</i>

382
00:24:12,202 --> 00:24:14,329
Donkey! Can you just cut to the part

383
00:24:14,496 --> 00:24:17,540
where you're supposed
to make me feel better?

384
00:24:17,707 --> 00:24:20,210
You know I love Fiona, boss. Right?

385
00:24:20,377 --> 00:24:24,172
What I am talking about here is you,
me, my cousin's boat,

386
00:24:24,339 --> 00:24:29,010
an ice cold pitcher of mojitos
and two weeks of nothing but fishing.

387
00:24:30,011 --> 00:24:32,097
Man, don't you listen to him!

388
00:24:32,263 --> 00:24:34,849
Look, having a baby
is not going to ruin your life.

389
00:24:35,016 --> 00:24:37,769
It's not my life I'm worried about
ruining,

390
00:24:37,936 --> 00:24:39,562
it's the kid's.

391
00:24:39,729 --> 00:24:43,817
I mean, when have you ever heard
the phrase "as sweet as an ogre,"

392
00:24:43,984 --> 00:24:46,403
or "as nurturing as an ogre,"

393
00:24:46,569 --> 00:24:51,074
or how about, "You're gonna love
my dad. He's a real ogre"?

394
00:24:51,241 --> 00:24:52,951
OK. OK. I get it.

395
00:24:53,118 --> 00:24:56,538
Look, nobody said it was gonna be easy.
But at least you got us to help you out.

396
00:24:56,705 --> 00:24:58,581
That's true.
[chuckling]

397
00:24:58,748 --> 00:25:00,166
I'm doomed.

398
00:25:00,333 --> 00:25:01,918
You'll be fine.

399
00:25:02,752 --> 00:25:04,421
[ship captain] You're finished.

400
00:25:07,632 --> 00:25:09,592
With your journey.

401
00:25:17,934 --> 00:25:20,437
"Wor-ces-ters-shiree"?

402
00:25:20,603 --> 00:25:22,188
Now that sounds fancy!

403
00:25:22,355 --> 00:25:24,441
- It's Worcestershire.
- Like the sauce?

404
00:25:24,607 --> 00:25:25,608
Mmm.

405
00:25:25,775 --> 00:25:27,110
It's spicy!

406
00:25:29,696 --> 00:25:30,739
[exclaiming]

407
00:25:30,905 --> 00:25:32,991
They must be expecting us.

408
00:25:33,283 --> 00:25:34,784
[honking]

409
00:25:34,951 --> 00:25:37,162
[all screaming]

410
00:25:38,913 --> 00:25:41,374
What in the shista-shire
kind of place is this?

411
00:25:41,541 --> 00:25:45,545
Well, my stomach aches,
and my palms just got sweaty.

412
00:25:45,712 --> 00:25:48,048
- Must be a high school.
- High school?

413
00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:49,674
- Ready?
- [all] OK!

414
00:25:49,841 --> 00:25:52,427
Wherefore art thou headed, to the top?

415
00:25:52,594 --> 00:25:54,179
Yeah, we think so! We think so!

416
00:25:54,345 --> 00:25:56,765
And dost thou thinkest thine
can be stopped?

417
00:25:56,931 --> 00:25:59,517
Nay, we thinkst not! We thinkst not!

418
00:26:01,478 --> 00:26:03,229
[all exclaiming]

419
00:26:03,396 --> 00:26:04,522
[shrieking]

420
00:26:04,689 --> 00:26:07,525
All right, Mr. Percival,
ease up on the reins.

421
00:26:07,692 --> 00:26:08,985
[crashing]

422
00:26:11,863 --> 00:26:15,492
For Io, bro, don't burn all
my frankincense and myrrh.

423
00:26:15,867 --> 00:26:19,037
I'm already starting to feel nauseous
from memories of wedgies and swirlies!

424
00:26:19,204 --> 00:26:21,247
But how did you receive the wedgies

425
00:26:21,414 --> 00:26:23,583
when you are clearly
not a wearer of the underpants?

426
00:26:23,750 --> 00:26:26,836
Let's just say some things are better
left unsaid and leave it at that.

427
00:26:27,003 --> 00:26:29,130
So then I was all like,
"I'd rather get the black plague

428
00:26:29,297 --> 00:26:31,299
and lock myself in an iron maiden
than go out with you."

429
00:26:31,466 --> 00:26:32,842
- Oh, totally.
- Pardon me.

430
00:26:33,009 --> 00:26:33,968
[groaning]

431
00:26:34,135 --> 00:26:36,471
- Totally ew-eth.
- Yeah, totally.

432
00:26:38,014 --> 00:26:40,517
Yes! I just altered my character level
to +3 superb-ability.

433
00:26:40,683 --> 00:26:43,478
Hi. We're looking for someone named...

434
00:26:43,645 --> 00:26:45,313
Gee, who rolled a +9 dork spell

435
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:47,357
and summoned the beast
and his quadrupeds?

436
00:26:47,524 --> 00:26:49,484
[laughing]

437
00:26:49,651 --> 00:26:51,402
I know you're busy not fitting in,

438
00:26:51,569 --> 00:26:54,614
but can either of you tell me
where I can find Arthur?

439
00:26:54,781 --> 00:26:56,407
He's over there.

440
00:27:14,759 --> 00:27:15,844
[laughing]

441
00:27:16,010 --> 00:27:20,390
There is no sweeter taste
on thy tongue than victory!

442
00:27:20,598 --> 00:27:22,475
[all cheering]

443
00:27:22,934 --> 00:27:25,770
Strong, handsome, face of a leader.

444
00:27:25,937 --> 00:27:28,606
Does Arthur look like a king or what?

445
00:27:28,773 --> 00:27:30,066
[grunting]

446
00:27:30,567 --> 00:27:31,901
Sorry.

447
00:27:32,527 --> 00:27:35,029
Did you just say
you were looking for Arthur?

448
00:27:35,196 --> 00:27:37,157
That information
is on a need-to-know basis.

449
00:27:37,323 --> 00:27:38,950
It's top secret! Hushity-hush!

450
00:27:39,534 --> 00:27:42,662
Now, gentlemen, let's away.
To the showers!

451
00:27:45,832 --> 00:27:49,085
Greetings, Your Majesty.
This is your lucky day.

452
00:27:49,878 --> 00:27:51,713
So what, for like,
are you supposed to be?

453
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,924
Some kind of giant,
mutant leprechaun or something?

454
00:27:55,091 --> 00:27:56,426
[all laughing]

455
00:27:56,593 --> 00:27:59,512
Giant mutant... You made a funny.

456
00:28:00,555 --> 00:28:02,348
Unhand me, monster!

457
00:28:02,515 --> 00:28:04,934
Stop squirming, Arthur.

458
00:28:05,101 --> 00:28:06,895
I'm not Arthur.

459
00:28:08,938 --> 00:28:11,524
I am Lancelot.

460
00:28:11,691 --> 00:28:14,360
That dork over there is Arthur.

461
00:28:15,445 --> 00:28:16,613
[Shrek] Hey!

462
00:28:20,158 --> 00:28:22,452
[clearing throat]
This is, like, totally embarrassing,

463
00:28:22,619 --> 00:28:25,580
but my friend Tiffany thinkest
thou vex her so soothly.

464
00:28:25,747 --> 00:28:27,498
And she thought perchance
thou would wanna ask her

465
00:28:27,665 --> 00:28:29,083
to the Homecoming Dance
or something.

466
00:28:29,250 --> 00:28:30,919
- Excuse me?
- It's like, whatever.

467
00:28:31,085 --> 00:28:34,422
She's just totally into college guys,
and mythical creatures, and stuff.

468
00:28:37,634 --> 00:28:39,594
Oh, Arthur,

469
00:28:39,761 --> 00:28:43,056
come out, come out, wherever you are!

470
00:28:43,306 --> 00:28:45,058
[thudding]

471
00:28:46,100 --> 00:28:48,186
Yeah, you better run,
you little punk no-goodniks!

472
00:28:48,353 --> 00:28:51,773
'Cause the days of little
Donkey Dumpy Drawers are over!

473
00:28:57,820 --> 00:28:59,948
[hesitating] Hold it.

474
00:29:00,114 --> 00:29:02,575
We're here for the mascot contest.

475
00:29:06,663 --> 00:29:09,832
We're here for the mascot contest, too.

476
00:29:09,999 --> 00:29:11,251
This is a costume?

477
00:29:11,417 --> 00:29:12,543
[yelling]

478
00:29:12,710 --> 00:29:15,004
Worked on it all night long.

479
00:29:15,672 --> 00:29:17,382
[sighing] Looks pretty real to me.

480
00:29:17,548 --> 00:29:19,968
If he were real, could I do this?

481
00:29:20,134 --> 00:29:21,844
[exclaiming]

482
00:29:22,011 --> 00:29:23,179
Or this?

483
00:29:23,346 --> 00:29:24,597
[groaning]

484
00:29:24,764 --> 00:29:29,686
If it were real, that would have been
agonizingly painful.

485
00:29:29,852 --> 00:29:32,855
- Now watch this!
- That's quite enough, boys.

486
00:29:33,147 --> 00:29:36,651
Thank you to Professor Primbottom
and his invigorating lecture

487
00:29:36,818 --> 00:29:39,237
on how to just say "nay."

488
00:29:39,404 --> 00:29:41,447
And now, without further ado,

489
00:29:41,614 --> 00:29:43,658
let's give a warm
Worcestershire hoozah

490
00:29:43,825 --> 00:29:47,203
to the winner of our
mascot contest, the...

491
00:29:47,370 --> 00:29:48,538
[all gasping]

492
00:29:48,705 --> 00:29:49,872
...Ogre?

493
00:29:51,624 --> 00:29:53,626
That's right. I'm the new mascot.

494
00:29:53,793 --> 00:29:57,005
So let's really try
and beat the other guys

495
00:29:57,171 --> 00:30:00,550
at whatever it is they're doing!

496
00:30:00,717 --> 00:30:02,844
[band playing
celebratory music]

497
00:30:04,595 --> 00:30:07,223
This is all indeed a bit unorthodox...

498
00:30:07,598 --> 00:30:11,102
Now, where can
I find Arthur Pendragon?

499
00:30:13,563 --> 00:30:15,023
[Artie] Hey, wait...

500
00:30:15,565 --> 00:30:17,400
[all laughing]

501
00:30:19,444 --> 00:30:20,737
Classic.

502
00:30:20,903 --> 00:30:22,572
You should be ashamed of yourself!

503
00:30:22,739 --> 00:30:24,782
I didn't do it. They did.

504
00:30:25,158 --> 00:30:27,243
[snickering]

505
00:30:30,246 --> 00:30:31,539
Please don't eat me.

506
00:30:31,706 --> 00:30:34,250
[all] Eat him! Eat him! Eat him!

507
00:30:35,251 --> 00:30:37,337
I'm not here to eat him!

508
00:30:37,503 --> 00:30:39,422
[all] Aw!

509
00:30:39,589 --> 00:30:42,008
It's time to pack up your toothbrush
and jammies.

510
00:30:42,175 --> 00:30:44,594
You're the new King of Far Far Away.

511
00:30:44,761 --> 00:30:45,928
What?

512
00:30:46,471 --> 00:30:47,430
[laughing]

513
00:30:47,597 --> 00:30:51,726
Artie a king?
More like the Mayor of Loserville!

514
00:30:51,893 --> 00:30:53,519
[all laughing]

515
00:30:53,686 --> 00:30:56,606
[playing mocking tune]

516
00:30:56,773 --> 00:30:58,191
[boy] Burn.

517
00:31:01,277 --> 00:31:02,278
Is this for real?

518
00:31:02,445 --> 00:31:06,783
Absolutely. Now clean out your locker,
kid. You've got a kingdom to run.

519
00:31:06,949 --> 00:31:09,619
So, wait. I'm really the only heir?

520
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:12,830
The one and only.

521
00:31:13,581 --> 00:31:15,541
Give me just a second.

522
00:31:17,752 --> 00:31:19,379
My good people,

523
00:31:19,545 --> 00:31:22,340
I think there's a lesson here
for all of us.

524
00:31:22,507 --> 00:31:25,551
Maybe the next time you're about
to dunk a kid's head in a chamber pot,

525
00:31:25,718 --> 00:31:29,389
you'll stop and think,
"Hey, maybe this guy has feelings.

526
00:31:30,139 --> 00:31:32,517
Maybe I should cut him some slack.

527
00:31:32,683 --> 00:31:36,020
'Cause maybe, just maybe,

528
00:31:36,187 --> 00:31:39,649
this guy's gonna turn out to be,
I don't know, a king.

529
00:31:40,358 --> 00:31:42,610
And maybe his first royal decree

530
00:31:42,777 --> 00:31:44,821
will be to banish everyone
who ever picked on him."

531
00:31:44,987 --> 00:31:47,490
That's right.
I'm looking at you, jousting team!

532
00:31:48,408 --> 00:31:49,700
And Guin?

533
00:31:50,368 --> 00:31:51,661
Oh, Guin.

534
00:31:52,328 --> 00:31:53,913
I've always loved you.

535
00:31:54,080 --> 00:31:55,039
Ew.

536
00:31:55,206 --> 00:31:58,209
Well, good friends,
it breaks my heart, but

537
00:31:58,376 --> 00:32:01,671
enjoy your stay here in prison
while I rule the free world, baby!

538
00:32:01,838 --> 00:32:03,423
All right, let's not overdo it.

539
00:32:03,589 --> 00:32:07,009
I'm building my city, people,
on rock 'n' roll!

540
00:32:07,176 --> 00:32:08,970
You just overdid it.

541
00:32:11,681 --> 00:32:12,890
[door closing]

542
00:32:13,599 --> 00:32:15,184
[whistling]

543
00:32:18,020 --> 00:32:19,939
- Stunning.
- Look at you!

544
00:32:20,106 --> 00:32:23,317
- You look darling.
- Just precious. Look at her.

545
00:32:23,484 --> 00:32:26,362
So have you had any cravings
since you've been pregnant?

546
00:32:26,529 --> 00:32:28,531
No. Not at all.

547
00:32:28,698 --> 00:32:29,824
[sniffing]

548
00:32:29,991 --> 00:32:31,868
Do you smell ham?

549
00:32:32,034 --> 00:32:34,620
It's present time!

550
00:32:36,247 --> 00:32:40,668
Oh, Fiona, won't you please open
mine first? It's the one in front.

551
00:32:41,335 --> 00:32:43,254
"Congratulations on your new mess..."

552
00:32:43,421 --> 00:32:45,339
Oh, mess maker!

553
00:32:45,506 --> 00:32:48,301
"Hopefully this helps.
Love, Cinderella."

554
00:32:48,468 --> 00:32:49,552
[exclaiming]

555
00:32:49,719 --> 00:32:51,804
- Would you look at that!
- What is it?

556
00:32:53,389 --> 00:32:54,599
It's for the poopies.

557
00:32:54,765 --> 00:32:55,808
Ew!

558
00:32:55,975 --> 00:32:59,103
- Wait. Babies poop?
- Everyone poops, Beauty.

559
00:32:59,270 --> 00:33:00,438
- [pig 1] Fiona!
- [pig 2] Fiona!

560
00:33:00,605 --> 00:33:03,608
We all chipped in
for a little present, too.

561
00:33:04,317 --> 00:33:05,443
Ta-da!

562
00:33:05,610 --> 00:33:06,569
[all] Oh!

563
00:33:06,736 --> 00:33:09,739
You know the baby's gonna love it,
because I do!

564
00:33:09,906 --> 00:33:12,575
You guys, that's so sweet. Thank you.

565
00:33:13,367 --> 00:33:14,327
Who's this one from?

566
00:33:14,494 --> 00:33:16,954
I got you the biggest one,
because I love you the most.

567
00:33:17,121 --> 00:33:20,416
"Have one on me. Love, Snow White."

568
00:33:23,794 --> 00:33:25,421
What is it?

569
00:33:25,588 --> 00:33:28,257
- He's a live-in babysitter.
- Where's the baby?

570
00:33:28,424 --> 00:33:32,386
You're too kind, Snow,
but I can't accept this.

571
00:33:32,553 --> 00:33:34,889
Think nothing of it.
I've got six more at home.

572
00:33:35,056 --> 00:33:36,766
- What does he do?
- The cleaning.

573
00:33:36,933 --> 00:33:38,518
- The feeding.
- The burping.

574
00:33:38,684 --> 00:33:40,770
So, what are Shrek
and I supposed to do?

575
00:33:40,937 --> 00:33:43,439
Well, now you'll have plenty of time
to work on your marriage.

576
00:33:44,190 --> 00:33:47,944
Gee. Thanks, Rapunzel,
and what's that supposed to mean?

577
00:33:48,110 --> 00:33:50,988
Oh, come on now, Fiona.
You know what happens.

578
00:33:51,155 --> 00:33:52,532
[snoring]

579
00:33:52,698 --> 00:33:54,617
You're tired all the time.

580
00:33:54,784 --> 00:33:56,327
You'll start letting yourself go.

581
00:33:56,494 --> 00:33:57,620
Stretch marks.

582
00:33:57,787 --> 00:33:59,622
Say goodbye to romance.

583
00:33:59,789 --> 00:34:01,290
[agreeing]

584
00:34:01,457 --> 00:34:04,919
I'm sorry, but how many of you
have kids?

585
00:34:05,586 --> 00:34:06,587
She's right!

586
00:34:06,754 --> 00:34:11,259
A baby is only gonna strengthen
the love that Shrek and Fiona have.

587
00:34:11,425 --> 00:34:14,095
How did Shrek react when you told him?
Tell me.

588
00:34:14,262 --> 00:34:18,516
Well, when he first found out,
Shrek said...

589
00:34:18,683 --> 00:34:20,810
[growling]

590
00:34:31,445 --> 00:34:33,364
Onward, my new friends!

591
00:34:33,531 --> 00:34:35,658
To our happily ever afters!

592
00:34:36,742 --> 00:34:37,827
[fly buzzing]

593
00:34:41,539 --> 00:34:43,708
Now, bombs away!

594
00:35:00,099 --> 00:35:03,019
Well, well, well. If it isn't Peter Pan.

595
00:35:03,185 --> 00:35:05,771
- His name's not Peter.
- Shut it, Wendy.

596
00:35:05,938 --> 00:35:08,024
[screaming]

597
00:35:22,747 --> 00:35:24,081
[laughing]

598
00:35:24,248 --> 00:35:27,418
Enough pillaging! To the castle!

599
00:35:46,187 --> 00:35:47,730
You go and take care of the baby!

600
00:35:47,897 --> 00:35:50,858
Everybody stay calm!
We're all going to die!

601
00:35:55,488 --> 00:35:57,239
Everyone in! Now!

602
00:35:57,406 --> 00:35:59,617
Come on! Put some back into it, people.

603
00:35:59,784 --> 00:36:01,202
Yee-haw!

604
00:36:01,369 --> 00:36:02,662
[exclaiming]

605
00:36:02,828 --> 00:36:04,705
We don't have time. Now go!

606
00:36:04,872 --> 00:36:06,499
Quickly, ladies!

607
00:36:08,501 --> 00:36:11,212
We'll hold them off as long as we can!

608
00:36:26,060 --> 00:36:28,646
Where are Shrek and Fiona?

609
00:36:28,813 --> 00:36:30,773
- The name doesn't ring a bell.
- Yeah.

610
00:36:30,940 --> 00:36:32,608
No bell.

611
00:36:32,775 --> 00:36:35,945
I suggest you freaks cooperate

612
00:36:36,112 --> 00:36:38,614
with the new King of Far Far Away!

613
00:36:38,781 --> 00:36:43,160
The only thing you're ever gonna be
king of is King of the Stupids!

614
00:36:43,327 --> 00:36:44,870
- Hook!
- Right!

615
00:36:45,413 --> 00:36:47,623
Avast, ye cookie.

616
00:36:48,416 --> 00:36:49,625
Oh.

617
00:36:50,292 --> 00:36:51,752
Start talking.

618
00:36:51,919 --> 00:36:53,629
[screaming]

619
00:36:56,090 --> 00:36:57,341
- Gingy!
- Papa!

620
00:36:57,508 --> 00:36:58,801
[teacher] Settle down now.

621
00:37:04,557 --> 00:37:05,975
[Farquaad laughing]

622
00:37:12,857 --> 00:37:16,152
<i>[singing] ♪ On the good ship Lollipop</i>

623
00:37:16,318 --> 00:37:19,780
<i>♪ It's a sweet trip to the candy shop ♪</i>

624
00:37:19,947 --> 00:37:21,115
You!

625
00:37:22,158 --> 00:37:23,701
You can't lie.

626
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:28,164
So tell me, puppet, where is Shrek?

627
00:37:31,041 --> 00:37:33,961
Well, I don't know where he's not.

628
00:37:34,128 --> 00:37:36,255
You're telling me
you don't know where Shrek is?

629
00:37:36,422 --> 00:37:38,507
It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume

630
00:37:38,674 --> 00:37:43,512
that I couldn't exactly not say that is
or isn't almost partially incorrect.

631
00:37:43,679 --> 00:37:45,055
So you do know where he is!

632
00:37:45,222 --> 00:37:47,850
On the contrary,
I'm possibly more or less

633
00:37:48,017 --> 00:37:50,144
not definitely rejecting the idea

634
00:37:50,311 --> 00:37:54,064
that in no way, with any amount
of uncertainty that I undeniably...

635
00:37:54,231 --> 00:37:55,733
- Stop it!
- ...do or do not know

636
00:37:55,900 --> 00:37:57,526
where he shouldn't probably be.

637
00:37:57,693 --> 00:37:59,862
If that indeed wasn't where he isn't.

638
00:38:00,029 --> 00:38:03,783
Even if he wasn't not where
I knew he was, it could mean...

639
00:38:03,949 --> 00:38:06,494
<i>[singing] ♪ On the good ship Lollipop</i>

640
00:38:06,660 --> 00:38:07,953
Enough!

641
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:10,998
Shrek went off
to bring back the next heir! Oh!

642
00:38:11,916 --> 00:38:12,917
[laughing nervously]

643
00:38:14,126 --> 00:38:15,669
He's bringing back the next heir?

644
00:38:15,836 --> 00:38:16,921
No!

645
00:38:18,422 --> 00:38:21,550
- Hook! Get rid of this new "King."
- Right.

646
00:38:21,717 --> 00:38:23,552
But bring Shrek to me.

647
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:26,555
I have something
special in mind for him.

648
00:38:26,722 --> 00:38:29,183
He'll never fall for your tricks!

649
00:38:30,726 --> 00:38:32,019
Oh, boy.

650
00:38:42,321 --> 00:38:44,740
I can't believe it. Me, a king?

651
00:38:45,407 --> 00:38:48,619
I mean, I knew I came
from royalty and all,

652
00:38:48,786 --> 00:38:50,955
but I just figured everyone
forgot about me.

653
00:38:51,121 --> 00:38:54,625
Oh, no. In fact, the King
asked for you personally.

654
00:38:55,251 --> 00:38:57,253
Really? Wow.

655
00:38:58,629 --> 00:39:01,173
Look, I know
it's not all gonna be fun and games.

656
00:39:01,340 --> 00:39:03,884
It really is all fun and games,
actually.

657
00:39:04,051 --> 00:39:07,805
Sure, you have to knight a few heroes,
launch a ship or two.

658
00:39:07,972 --> 00:39:12,142
By the way, make sure you hit the boat
just right with the bottle.

659
00:39:12,309 --> 00:39:16,063
Boat with a bottle.
Any idiot can hit a boat with a bottle.

660
00:39:16,230 --> 00:39:19,316
[laughing] Well,
I've heard it's harder than it looks.

661
00:39:19,483 --> 00:39:20,985
Whoa! This is going to be huge.

662
00:39:21,151 --> 00:39:25,114
Parties, princesses, castles.

663
00:39:25,281 --> 00:39:26,574
Princesses.

664
00:39:26,740 --> 00:39:29,118
It's gonna be great, Artie.
You'll be living in the lap of luxury.

665
00:39:29,285 --> 00:39:31,662
They got the finest chefs around
waiting for you to place your order.

666
00:39:31,829 --> 00:39:34,665
And fortunately,
you'll have the royal food tasters.

667
00:39:34,832 --> 00:39:36,292
Oh, yeah? What do they do?

668
00:39:36,458 --> 00:39:41,130
They taste the food before the King eats
to make sure it's not poisoned.

669
00:39:41,672 --> 00:39:43,716
- Poisoned?
- Or too salty.

670
00:39:43,883 --> 00:39:47,261
Don't worry about it. You'll be safe and
sound with the help of your bodyguards.

671
00:39:47,428 --> 00:39:49,972
- Bodyguards?
- All of them willing at a moment's notice

672
00:39:50,139 --> 00:39:53,100
to lay down their own lives
out of devotion to you.

673
00:39:53,267 --> 00:39:54,435
Really?

674
00:39:54,602 --> 00:39:58,355
And the whole kingdom will look to you
for wisdom and guidance.

675
00:39:58,522 --> 00:40:00,065
Just make sure they don't die of famine!

676
00:40:00,232 --> 00:40:01,859
- Or plague.
- Plague is bad.

677
00:40:02,026 --> 00:40:05,070
The coughing, the groaning,
the festering sores.

678
00:40:05,237 --> 00:40:06,447
[laughing uncomfortably]

679
00:40:06,614 --> 00:40:07,990
Festering sores!

680
00:40:08,157 --> 00:40:11,160
Hey, you are one funny kitty cat.

681
00:40:11,660 --> 00:40:12,578
What did I say?

682
00:40:12,745 --> 00:40:15,664
We don't want Artie here
getting the wrong idea.

683
00:40:17,082 --> 00:40:18,167
Artie?

684
00:40:18,334 --> 00:40:20,169
[exclaiming]

685
00:40:22,379 --> 00:40:26,008
- There goes my hip!
- Artie! What are you doing?

686
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:29,678
What does it look like?

687
00:40:32,598 --> 00:40:35,100
This really isn't up to you.

688
00:40:35,267 --> 00:40:38,312
But I don't know anything
about being king!

689
00:40:38,479 --> 00:40:40,522
You'll learn on the job!

690
00:40:42,024 --> 00:40:44,652
Sorry to disappoint you,
but I'm going back.

691
00:40:44,818 --> 00:40:46,153
Back to what?

692
00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:47,863
Being a loser?

693
00:40:50,908 --> 00:40:54,453
- Now look what you did!
- [Artie] Look what I did?

694
00:40:54,620 --> 00:40:56,372
Who was holding the wheel, chief?

695
00:40:56,538 --> 00:40:57,957
[muffled shouting]

696
00:40:58,123 --> 00:40:59,375
Shrek!

697
00:41:11,720 --> 00:41:13,722
[ship captain] Land ho!

698
00:41:26,443 --> 00:41:28,070
How humiliating.

699
00:41:29,238 --> 00:41:31,699
Oh, nice going, Your Highness.

700
00:41:31,865 --> 00:41:35,411
So now it's "Your Highness"?
What happened to "loser," huh?

701
00:41:35,577 --> 00:41:39,081
Hey, if you think this is getting you
out of anything, well, it isn't.

702
00:41:39,248 --> 00:41:43,252
We're heading back to Far Far Away
one way or another.

703
00:41:43,419 --> 00:41:45,796
And you're going to be a father!

704
00:41:45,963 --> 00:41:46,922
What?

705
00:41:47,089 --> 00:41:48,090
[clearing throat]

706
00:41:48,257 --> 00:41:49,925
You just said "father."

707
00:41:50,092 --> 00:41:52,261
I said king! You're going to be king!

708
00:41:52,428 --> 00:41:55,139
[imitating Shrek]
"You're going to be king!" Yeah, right.

709
00:41:56,724 --> 00:41:58,058
Where do you think you're going?

710
00:41:58,225 --> 00:42:00,477
Far Far Away... from you!

711
00:42:00,644 --> 00:42:03,647
You get back here, young man,
and I mean it.

712
00:42:04,815 --> 00:42:07,192
Boss? I don't think he's coming back.

713
00:42:07,359 --> 00:42:10,654
Maybe it's for the best.
He's not exactly king material.

714
00:42:10,821 --> 00:42:12,322
When were you planning on telling him

715
00:42:12,489 --> 00:42:14,241
that you were really supposed
to be king?

716
00:42:14,408 --> 00:42:16,910
Oh, come on. Now why would I do that?

717
00:42:17,077 --> 00:42:19,955
Besides, he'll be 10 times
better at it than me.

718
00:42:20,122 --> 00:42:21,290
Hey, whoa, Shrek.

719
00:42:21,457 --> 00:42:22,958
Then you're gonna have
to change your tactics

720
00:42:23,125 --> 00:42:24,918
if you want to get anywhere
with this kid.

721
00:42:25,085 --> 00:42:26,545
[sighing]

722
00:42:26,712 --> 00:42:28,547
You're right, Donkey.

723
00:42:30,799 --> 00:42:32,509
What about this?

724
00:42:32,676 --> 00:42:36,096
- Shrek!
- Come on. It's just a joke.

725
00:42:36,263 --> 00:42:37,890
[chuckling]

726
00:42:38,057 --> 00:42:39,308
Still...

727
00:42:55,949 --> 00:42:58,118
Listen, Artie.

728
00:42:58,285 --> 00:43:03,290
If you think this whole mad scene
ain't dope, I feel you, dude.

729
00:43:03,457 --> 00:43:07,503
I mean, I'm not trying to get up in your
grill, or raise your roof, or whatever.

730
00:43:07,669 --> 00:43:09,088
But what I am screamin' is,

731
00:43:09,254 --> 00:43:13,175
yo, check out this
kazing thazing, bazaby!

732
00:43:13,342 --> 00:43:15,886
I mean, if it doesn't groove,
or what I'm saying

733
00:43:16,053 --> 00:43:18,514
ain't straight trippin', just say,
"Oh, no, you didn't!

734
00:43:18,680 --> 00:43:21,016
You know,
you're getting on my last nerve."

735
00:43:21,183 --> 00:43:24,353
And then I'll know it's...
Then I'll know it's wack!

736
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:25,854
[exclaiming]

737
00:43:26,021 --> 00:43:27,147
[Artie] Somebody help!

738
00:43:27,314 --> 00:43:29,900
I've been kidnapped by a monster
who's trying to relate to me!

739
00:43:30,067 --> 00:43:34,404
- Artie, Artie, wait, wait, wait.
- Come on! Come on. Help! Help! Hello?

740
00:43:34,571 --> 00:43:35,572
[exclaiming]

741
00:43:35,739 --> 00:43:39,201
Greetings, cosmic children
of the universe.

742
00:43:39,368 --> 00:43:41,662
Welcome to my serenity circle.

743
00:43:41,829 --> 00:43:45,958
Please leave any bad vibes
outside the healing vortex.

744
00:43:46,125 --> 00:43:48,168
Now prepare...

745
00:43:51,713 --> 00:43:52,881
[groaning]

746
00:43:53,590 --> 00:43:56,426
I knew I should have got that warranty!

747
00:43:56,885 --> 00:43:58,178
[groaning]

748
00:43:59,304 --> 00:44:00,639
Mr. Merlin?

749
00:44:00,806 --> 00:44:02,141
You know this guy?

750
00:44:02,307 --> 00:44:03,225
Yeah.

751
00:44:03,392 --> 00:44:06,979
He was the school's magic teacher
until he had his nervous breakdown.

752
00:44:07,146 --> 00:44:10,190
Technically, I was merely a victim
of a level-3 fatigue.

753
00:44:10,357 --> 00:44:12,442
And at the request of my therapist

754
00:44:12,609 --> 00:44:16,238
and the school authorities,
I've retired to the tranquility of nature

755
00:44:16,405 --> 00:44:18,699
to discover my divine purpose.

756
00:44:20,117 --> 00:44:23,412
Now, can I interest anyone
in a snack or beverage?

757
00:44:23,579 --> 00:44:24,538
No.

758
00:44:24,705 --> 00:44:27,875
Sure you don't want to try
my famous Rock Au Gratin?

759
00:44:28,041 --> 00:44:30,085
[crunching]

760
00:44:31,128 --> 00:44:32,296
It's organic.

761
00:44:32,462 --> 00:44:35,048
Thanks. I just ate a boulder
on the way in.

762
00:44:35,215 --> 00:44:38,051
What we need are directions
back to Far Far Away.

763
00:44:38,218 --> 00:44:40,470
What's with the "we"?
Who said I was going with you?

764
00:44:40,637 --> 00:44:41,763
I did.

765
00:44:41,930 --> 00:44:43,724
'Cause there's a lot of people
counting on you,

766
00:44:43,891 --> 00:44:45,184
so don't try and weasel out of it.

767
00:44:45,350 --> 00:44:47,936
If it's such a great job,
why don't you do it?

768
00:44:48,103 --> 00:44:52,316
Understand this, kid. It's no more
Mr. Nice Guy from here on out.

769
00:44:52,482 --> 00:44:54,276
Oh! So that was your Mr. Nice Guy?

770
00:44:54,443 --> 00:44:57,029
I know, and I'm going to miss him.

771
00:44:57,196 --> 00:45:01,033
You know what? Why don't you go
terrorize a village and leave me alone!

772
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:03,660
Was that some kind of crack
about ogres?

773
00:45:03,827 --> 00:45:05,787
You get your royal highness
to Far Far Away

774
00:45:05,954 --> 00:45:07,331
before I kick it there!

775
00:45:07,497 --> 00:45:09,958
Now, which way am I kicking?

776
00:45:10,125 --> 00:45:12,711
I could tell you,
but since you're in the midst

777
00:45:12,878 --> 00:45:15,047
of a self-destructive rage spiral,

778
00:45:15,214 --> 00:45:17,090
it would be karmically irresponsible.

779
00:45:17,257 --> 00:45:21,303
Self-destructive...
Look, are you going to help us or not?

780
00:45:21,470 --> 00:45:24,139
Most definitely, but only after you

781
00:45:24,306 --> 00:45:27,517
take the journey to your soul!

782
00:45:27,684 --> 00:45:28,477
Yeah, I don't think so.

783
00:45:28,644 --> 00:45:32,898
Look, pal. It's either that
or some primal scream therapy.

784
00:45:33,065 --> 00:45:34,775
[screaming]

785
00:45:34,942 --> 00:45:37,611
All right. All right.
Journey to the soul.

786
00:45:38,403 --> 00:45:42,783
Now, all of you,
look into the Fire of Truth

787
00:45:42,950 --> 00:45:45,494
and tell me what you see.

788
00:45:46,828 --> 00:45:48,830
[whooping]

789
00:45:48,997 --> 00:45:50,707
Ooh, charades!

790
00:45:50,874 --> 00:45:55,504
OK, I see a Dutch fudge torte
with cinnamon swirls!

791
00:45:55,671 --> 00:45:57,881
OK, monster, go for it.

792
00:45:58,382 --> 00:46:00,342
[sighing]

793
00:46:02,594 --> 00:46:04,471
[baby crying]

794
00:46:07,224 --> 00:46:08,684
I see a rainbow pony.

795
00:46:08,850 --> 00:46:12,521
- Excellent work! Now the boy.
- This is lame.

796
00:46:12,688 --> 00:46:15,023
You're lame! Just go for it.

797
00:46:15,190 --> 00:46:16,358
[sighing]

798
00:46:16,525 --> 00:46:17,693
OK.

799
00:46:18,652 --> 00:46:22,281
There's a baby bird and a father bird
sitting in a nest.

800
00:46:22,906 --> 00:46:25,367
Yes! Yes! Stay with it! Stay with it!

801
00:46:26,201 --> 00:46:28,287
Wait. The dad just flew away.

802
00:46:28,453 --> 00:46:30,872
Why did he leave
the little bird all alone?

803
00:46:31,039 --> 00:46:34,251
It's trying to fly,
but it doesn't know how to.

804
00:46:35,210 --> 00:46:37,212
It's going to fall!

805
00:46:42,092 --> 00:46:45,846
Proper head case you are, aren't you?
Really messed up.

806
00:46:46,054 --> 00:46:47,347
Whoa!

807
00:46:47,806 --> 00:46:49,141
[door closing]

808
00:46:49,558 --> 00:46:53,603
Yeah, yeah. OK, I get it.
The bird's me. My dad left.

809
00:46:53,770 --> 00:46:55,063
So what?

810
00:47:06,533 --> 00:47:08,160
Look, Artie...

811
00:47:09,036 --> 00:47:10,996
["That's What Friends Are For"
playing]

812
00:47:13,582 --> 00:47:16,418
Just thought I might help set the mood,

813
00:47:16,585 --> 00:47:19,463
you know,
for your big heart-to-heart chat.

814
00:47:23,091 --> 00:47:24,718
[music stops]

815
00:47:24,885 --> 00:47:26,053
[door closing]

816
00:47:26,219 --> 00:47:27,596
[sighing]

817
00:47:28,347 --> 00:47:31,892
I know what it's like to not feel
ready for something.

818
00:47:33,894 --> 00:47:35,937
Even ogres get scared.

819
00:47:37,189 --> 00:47:39,816
You know, once in a while.

820
00:47:41,902 --> 00:47:45,280
I know you want me to be king,
but I can't.

821
00:47:45,864 --> 00:47:49,409
I'm not cut out for it,
and I never will be, all right?

822
00:47:49,576 --> 00:47:52,287
Even my own dad knew
I wasn't worth the trouble.

823
00:47:52,454 --> 00:47:55,957
He dumped me at that school
the first chance he got,

824
00:47:56,124 --> 00:47:58,502
and I never heard from him again.

825
00:47:58,668 --> 00:48:00,003
[sighing]

826
00:48:00,170 --> 00:48:03,673
My dad wasn't really
the fatherly type, either.

827
00:48:04,424 --> 00:48:07,386
Well, I doubt he was worse than mine.

828
00:48:07,552 --> 00:48:08,678
Oh, yeah?

829
00:48:08,845 --> 00:48:11,014
My father was an ogre.

830
00:48:11,181 --> 00:48:12,933
He tried to eat me.

831
00:48:13,892 --> 00:48:15,977
Now I guess
I should have seen it coming.

832
00:48:16,144 --> 00:48:17,813
He used to give me a bath
in barbecue sauce

833
00:48:17,979 --> 00:48:20,440
and put me to bed
with an apple in my mouth.

834
00:48:20,607 --> 00:48:22,150
[laughing]

835
00:48:22,317 --> 00:48:24,778
OK, I guess that's pretty bad.

836
00:48:27,155 --> 00:48:28,949
You know, it may be hard to believe,

837
00:48:29,116 --> 00:48:32,285
what, with my obvious charm
and good looks,

838
00:48:32,452 --> 00:48:35,163
but people used to think
I was a monster.

839
00:48:36,164 --> 00:48:39,668
And for a long time, I believed them.

840
00:48:41,878 --> 00:48:43,213
But after a while,

841
00:48:43,380 --> 00:48:46,508
you learn to ignore the names
that people call you,

842
00:48:47,259 --> 00:48:49,594
and you just trust who you are.

843
00:48:51,513 --> 00:48:54,516
You know, you're OK, Shrek.

844
00:48:55,725 --> 00:49:00,021
You just need to do a little less
yelling and use a little more soap.

845
00:49:00,605 --> 00:49:02,107
Thanks, Artie.

846
00:49:02,274 --> 00:49:05,944
The soap's because
you stink really bad.

847
00:49:07,195 --> 00:49:09,531
[Shrek] Yeah, I got that.

848
00:49:12,826 --> 00:49:13,869
[Cinderella sniffing]

849
00:49:14,035 --> 00:49:16,246
This place is filthy!

850
00:49:16,955 --> 00:49:18,790
I feel like a hobo.

851
00:49:19,749 --> 00:49:22,377
I'm sorry,
but this just isn't working for me.

852
00:49:22,544 --> 00:49:25,255
Everything's always about you, isn't it?

853
00:49:25,422 --> 00:49:26,798
It's not like your attitude
is helping, Snow.

854
00:49:26,965 --> 00:49:30,802
Well, maybe it just bothers you
that I was voted fairest in the land.

855
00:49:30,969 --> 00:49:33,180
Oh. You mean in that rigged election?

856
00:49:33,346 --> 00:49:36,224
Give me a break.
"Rapunzel, Rapunzel,

857
00:49:36,391 --> 00:49:38,935
let down thy golden extensions!"

858
00:49:39,102 --> 00:49:44,399
Ladies, let go of your petty complaints,
and let's work together!

859
00:49:44,566 --> 00:49:46,109
[all groaning]

860
00:49:47,736 --> 00:49:50,405
[Snow White] So I guess the plan is
we just wander aimlessly

861
00:49:50,572 --> 00:49:52,657
in this stinkhole until we rot.

862
00:49:52,824 --> 00:49:56,578
No, we're gonna get inside and find out
what Charming's up to.

863
00:49:56,745 --> 00:49:58,580
I know he's a jerk and everything,

864
00:49:58,747 --> 00:50:02,834
but I gotta admit that Charming
makes me hotter than July.

865
00:50:03,001 --> 00:50:04,127
[all groaning]

866
00:50:04,961 --> 00:50:06,296
That's it!

867
00:50:22,771 --> 00:50:23,939
[gasping]

868
00:50:34,282 --> 00:50:36,284
Come on! This way!

869
00:50:36,451 --> 00:50:38,036
Rapunzel, wait!

870
00:50:47,462 --> 00:50:49,214
Charming, let go of her.

871
00:50:49,381 --> 00:50:51,800
But why would I want to do that?

872
00:50:52,592 --> 00:50:53,635
[purring]

873
00:50:53,802 --> 00:50:54,886
[barking]

874
00:50:57,305 --> 00:50:58,306
What?

875
00:50:58,473 --> 00:51:03,311
Say hello, ladies,
to the new Queen of Far Far Away.

876
00:51:03,979 --> 00:51:05,313
[cheering] Yay!

877
00:51:07,691 --> 00:51:09,484
Rapunzel, how could you?

878
00:51:09,651 --> 00:51:10,652
Jealous much?

879
00:51:10,819 --> 00:51:11,903
[chuckling]

880
00:51:12,070 --> 00:51:14,281
Soon you'll be back where you started,

881
00:51:14,447 --> 00:51:16,950
scrubbing floors
or locked away in towers.

882
00:51:17,117 --> 00:51:20,662
That is, if I let you last the week.

883
00:51:22,872 --> 00:51:25,542
But, pookie,
you promised you wouldn't hurt them.

884
00:51:25,709 --> 00:51:29,713
Not here, kitten whiskers.
Daddy will discuss it later.

885
00:51:30,839 --> 00:51:32,841
Now forgive us.
We have a show to put on.

886
00:51:33,008 --> 00:51:36,511
Shrek will be back soon, Charming,
and you'll be sorry.

887
00:51:36,678 --> 00:51:38,096
Sorry?

888
00:51:38,263 --> 00:51:42,559
Don't you realize
once Shrek sets foot in Far Far Away,

889
00:51:42,726 --> 00:51:44,185
he's doomed?

890
00:51:52,694 --> 00:51:54,195
[gasping]

891
00:51:59,951 --> 00:52:01,036
[yawning]

892
00:52:01,202 --> 00:52:02,912
[whistling]

893
00:52:09,628 --> 00:52:11,755
[footsteps approaching]

894
00:52:16,885 --> 00:52:18,261
[screaming]

895
00:52:23,892 --> 00:52:25,518
Look out! They got a piano!

896
00:52:25,685 --> 00:52:29,022
Kill them all, except the fat one.

897
00:52:29,189 --> 00:52:33,234
King Charming has something
special in mind for you, ogre.

898
00:52:33,401 --> 00:52:34,819
King Charming?

899
00:52:34,986 --> 00:52:36,404
Attack!

900
00:52:40,742 --> 00:52:42,661
- Have at them!
- Come here, you!

901
00:52:42,827 --> 00:52:44,329
Artie, duck!

902
00:52:47,916 --> 00:52:48,917
[screaming]

903
00:52:51,711 --> 00:52:53,421
[laughing]

904
00:52:58,385 --> 00:53:00,053
Ready the plank!

905
00:53:15,443 --> 00:53:16,986
- Shrek!
- Help!

906
00:53:36,423 --> 00:53:37,382
Cowards!

907
00:53:37,549 --> 00:53:39,467
What has Charming done with Fiona?

908
00:53:39,634 --> 00:53:42,470
She's going to get what's coming to her.

909
00:53:43,304 --> 00:53:46,599
And there ain't nothing you can do
to stop him!

910
00:53:46,766 --> 00:53:48,101
[Captain Hook laughing]

911
00:53:48,268 --> 00:53:51,604
- We've got to save her.
- But she's so far far away!

912
00:53:52,313 --> 00:53:54,315
Get yourself back
to Worcestershire, kid.

913
00:53:54,482 --> 00:53:57,569
No, Shrek. Hold on a second.
I've got an idea.

914
00:53:57,736 --> 00:53:59,404
I am a buzzing bee.

915
00:53:59,571 --> 00:54:00,822
[buzzing]

916
00:54:00,989 --> 00:54:04,033
Mr. Merlin?
They need a spell to get them,

917
00:54:04,200 --> 00:54:07,328
I mean us, back to Far Far Away.

918
00:54:07,495 --> 00:54:10,665
Forget it. I don't have that kind
of magic in me anymore, kid.

919
00:54:10,832 --> 00:54:14,502
How about a hug instead?
That's the best kind of magic.

920
00:54:14,669 --> 00:54:17,005
Mr. Merlin, please.
I know you can do it.

921
00:54:17,172 --> 00:54:19,132
I said forget it!

922
00:54:19,299 --> 00:54:20,550
But...

923
00:54:24,679 --> 00:54:26,014
[sobbing]

924
00:54:28,016 --> 00:54:29,601
What's with you?

925
00:54:30,894 --> 00:54:33,688
It's just so hard, you know?

926
00:54:34,856 --> 00:54:38,443
They really need to get back,
'cause their kingdom's in trouble.

927
00:54:39,068 --> 00:54:41,529
'Cause there's a really bad man.

928
00:54:41,696 --> 00:54:43,740
And it's just so hard!

929
00:54:43,907 --> 00:54:49,204
- Come on. Take it easy.
- No! I don't think you understand!

930
00:54:49,370 --> 00:54:53,792
There's a mean person
doing mean things to good people.

931
00:54:53,958 --> 00:54:55,502
Oh, have a heart, old man.

932
00:54:55,668 --> 00:54:58,546
And they really need your help
to get them back.

933
00:54:58,713 --> 00:55:00,840
So why won't you help them?

934
00:55:01,007 --> 00:55:03,134
[mumbling]

935
00:55:04,219 --> 00:55:05,512
OK.

936
00:55:05,678 --> 00:55:07,680
I'll go and get my things.

937
00:55:08,848 --> 00:55:10,058
[clearing throat]

938
00:55:10,517 --> 00:55:13,353
- Piece of cake.
- Well, well, well.

939
00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:15,230
You want some eggs with that ham?

940
00:55:15,396 --> 00:55:19,317
Now, I am a little rusty,
so there could be some side effects.

941
00:55:19,484 --> 00:55:20,652
- Side effects?
- Don't worry.

942
00:55:20,819 --> 00:55:24,364
Whatever it is, no matter how
excruciatingly painful it may be,

943
00:55:24,531 --> 00:55:27,408
it will wear off eventually. I think.

944
00:55:29,619 --> 00:55:31,955
- Oops.
- Are you sure this is a good idea?

945
00:55:32,121 --> 00:55:36,000
Look, if Artie trusts him,
that's good enough for me.

946
00:55:36,709 --> 00:55:38,419
Even if his robe
doesn't quite cover his...

947
00:55:38,586 --> 00:55:41,339
<i>Alacritous expeditious,</i>

948
00:55:41,506 --> 00:55:43,925
<i>a-zoomy-zoom-zoom!</i>

949
00:55:44,092 --> 00:55:46,928
Let's help our friends get back...

950
00:55:49,848 --> 00:55:51,099
Soon!

951
00:55:57,146 --> 00:55:58,398
[exclaiming]

952
00:55:58,565 --> 00:55:59,941
It worked!

953
00:56:08,950 --> 00:56:12,120
[in Donkey's voice] Man, I haven't
been on a trip like that since college!

954
00:56:12,287 --> 00:56:13,538
Donkey?

955
00:56:13,705 --> 00:56:15,957
What? Is there something in my teeth?

956
00:56:16,124 --> 00:56:17,333
[gasping]

957
00:56:18,084 --> 00:56:19,878
What the... Oh, no!

958
00:56:20,044 --> 00:56:24,340
I've been abracadabra-ed into
a Fancy Feasting, second-rate sidekick!

959
00:56:24,924 --> 00:56:26,175
[groaning]

960
00:56:26,342 --> 00:56:27,635
[in Puss' voice] At least you don't look

961
00:56:27,802 --> 00:56:29,971
like some kind of bloated
roadside piñata!

962
00:56:30,138 --> 00:56:32,015
You really should think
about going on a diet!

963
00:56:32,181 --> 00:56:34,475
Yeah, you should think
about getting yourself a pair of pants.

964
00:56:34,642 --> 00:56:36,895
I feel all exposed and nasty!

965
00:56:37,061 --> 00:56:38,855
[laughing]

966
00:56:39,022 --> 00:56:41,357
So you two think this is funny?

967
00:56:43,568 --> 00:56:45,320
I'm really sorry, guys.

968
00:56:45,486 --> 00:56:47,822
Don't be. You got us back, kid.

969
00:56:51,993 --> 00:56:53,661
[groaning]

970
00:56:53,828 --> 00:56:55,872
How in the Hans Christian Andersen

971
00:56:56,039 --> 00:56:58,541
am I supposed to parade around
in these goofy boots?

972
00:56:58,708 --> 00:57:01,252
Hey, hey, hey!
Be very careful with those.

973
00:57:01,419 --> 00:57:02,837
[braying]

974
00:57:03,421 --> 00:57:05,632
They were made in Madrid
by the finest...

975
00:57:05,798 --> 00:57:07,133
[braying]

976
00:57:07,300 --> 00:57:09,594
You'll learn to control that.
[sputtering]

977
00:57:12,013 --> 00:57:13,306
Seriously. Ow!

978
00:57:13,473 --> 00:57:17,352
Man, you need some comfort inserts,
or arch support, or something.

979
00:57:17,518 --> 00:57:18,645
[exclaiming]

980
00:57:23,066 --> 00:57:27,654
Hey, watch it. I'm walking here,
and I'm gonna keep going until...

981
00:57:28,029 --> 00:57:29,864
- Pinocchio!
- [calliope playing festive music]

982
00:57:30,031 --> 00:57:32,116
- Shrek! Help me!
- Pinocchio!

983
00:57:32,283 --> 00:57:33,201
What's happened?

984
00:57:33,368 --> 00:57:35,411
Charming and the villains
have taken over everything.

985
00:57:35,578 --> 00:57:36,537
They attacked us.

986
00:57:36,704 --> 00:57:39,332
But Fiona and the Princesses got away.
And now she's...

987
00:57:39,499 --> 00:57:41,042
She's what? She's what?

988
00:57:42,961 --> 00:57:45,129
Puss! Loan me five bucks.

989
00:57:45,296 --> 00:57:47,340
Come on, Puss. You heard the man.
Help the brother out.

990
00:57:47,507 --> 00:57:49,717
Do you see any pockets on me?

991
00:57:49,884 --> 00:57:51,594
Hold on a second.

992
00:57:52,053 --> 00:57:53,388
Ah-ha!

993
00:57:54,138 --> 00:57:58,351
I had no idea, really. I swear.

994
00:57:59,811 --> 00:58:01,813
Quick, Pinocchio. Where is Fiona?

995
00:58:01,980 --> 00:58:04,399
Charming's got her
locked away someplace secret.

996
00:58:04,565 --> 00:58:05,650
You gotta find him!

997
00:58:05,817 --> 00:58:08,236
He's probably getting
ready for the show!

998
00:58:08,403 --> 00:58:11,197
Wait, wait, wait, Pinocchio! What show?

999
00:58:16,411 --> 00:58:18,454
<i>It's a Happily Ever After After All.</i>

1000
00:58:18,621 --> 00:58:20,748
"Shrek's final performance"?

1001
00:58:20,915 --> 00:58:21,958
[exclaiming]

1002
00:58:22,125 --> 00:58:25,294
Shrek!
You didn't tell us you were in a play!

1003
00:58:25,461 --> 00:58:28,756
Well, I guess I've been so busy
I forgot to mention it.

1004
00:58:28,923 --> 00:58:30,758
It's the ogre! Get him!

1005
00:58:31,843 --> 00:58:33,386
Don't worry, jefe.

1006
00:58:33,553 --> 00:58:34,929
I got this.

1007
00:58:40,768 --> 00:58:42,895
Ugh! Kill it!

1008
00:58:43,479 --> 00:58:44,605
Look.

1009
00:58:44,772 --> 00:58:47,400
Don't you know who he thinks he is?

1010
00:58:47,567 --> 00:58:48,568
How dare you!

1011
00:58:48,735 --> 00:58:50,069
Donkey, we're dealing with amateurs.

1012
00:58:50,236 --> 00:58:53,322
He's a star, people! Hello?

1013
00:58:53,489 --> 00:58:55,283
I'm so sorry about this, Mr. Shrek.

1014
00:58:55,450 --> 00:58:56,784
I'm going to lose it!

1015
00:58:56,951 --> 00:58:59,203
I assume you have everything ready
for tonight.

1016
00:58:59,370 --> 00:59:01,122
You did get the list
for the dressing room?

1017
00:59:01,289 --> 00:59:04,042
Yeah, the breakfast croissant
stuffed with seared sashimi tuna.

1018
00:59:04,208 --> 00:59:07,336
And please tell me you at least have the
saffron-corn with jalapeno honey butter.

1019
00:59:07,503 --> 00:59:10,548
'Cause our client cannot get into
his proper emotional state

1020
00:59:10,715 --> 00:59:12,633
without his jalapeno honey butter!

1021
00:59:12,800 --> 00:59:14,052
I just lost it.

1022
00:59:14,218 --> 00:59:15,136
[hesitating]

1023
00:59:15,303 --> 00:59:17,388
Maybe they should talk to Nancy
in Human Resources.

1024
00:59:17,555 --> 00:59:20,808
We have much to say to Nancy,
I promise!

1025
00:59:21,476 --> 00:59:22,769
[piano playing ballet music]

1026
00:59:22,935 --> 00:59:25,313
[Prince Charming]
"With this sword, I do..."

1027
00:59:25,480 --> 00:59:26,481
No. "With...

1028
00:59:26,647 --> 00:59:30,902
With this sword, I do smote thee!"

1029
00:59:31,069 --> 00:59:33,654
Is that the right word?
"Smote"? "Smoot"?

1030
00:59:33,821 --> 00:59:35,573
I don't think that's even a word,
actually.

1031
00:59:35,740 --> 00:59:39,994
Maybe I should just "smite" him.
Let's try this again. Now...

1032
00:59:40,161 --> 00:59:41,204
[mumbling]

1033
00:59:41,370 --> 00:59:45,166
Shrek attacks me.
I pretend to be afraid. Ooh!

1034
00:59:45,333 --> 00:59:48,044
I say, "Finally the kingdom will get
the happily ever after they deserve.

1035
00:59:48,211 --> 00:59:49,337
Die, ogre!"

1036
00:59:49,504 --> 00:59:53,508
Blah, blah, blah.
Oh, it just doesn't feel real enough yet!

1037
00:59:55,384 --> 00:59:57,512
Who told you to stop dancing?

1038
00:59:57,678 --> 00:59:58,805
Wink and turn.

1039
00:59:58,971 --> 01:00:01,224
What are you laying around for?
Get up! Honestly!

1040
01:00:01,390 --> 01:00:02,391
[man groaning]

1041
01:00:11,025 --> 01:00:14,320
Our happily ever after
is nearly complete, Mommy.

1042
01:00:14,487 --> 01:00:16,572
And I assure you,

1043
01:00:16,739 --> 01:00:21,744
the people of this kingdom
will pay dearly for every second

1044
01:00:22,870 --> 01:00:24,497
we've had to wait.

1045
01:00:25,164 --> 01:00:26,082
[gasping]

1046
01:00:26,249 --> 01:00:27,250
Break a leg.

1047
01:00:27,416 --> 01:00:30,503
Or on second thought,
let me break it for you.

1048
01:00:30,670 --> 01:00:31,629
Thank goodness you're here.

1049
01:00:31,796 --> 01:00:34,841
I was beginning to think you might not
make it back in time.

1050
01:00:35,007 --> 01:00:36,425
Where's Fiona?

1051
01:00:36,592 --> 01:00:37,844
Don't worry.

1052
01:00:38,010 --> 01:00:40,763
She and the others are safe, for now.

1053
01:00:48,729 --> 01:00:49,897
Hmm.

1054
01:00:50,064 --> 01:00:53,568
Let me guess. Arthur.

1055
01:00:54,277 --> 01:00:56,195
It's Artie, actually.

1056
01:00:56,362 --> 01:01:01,033
This boy is supposed to be
the new King of Far Far Away?

1057
01:01:01,284 --> 01:01:02,451
[laughing]

1058
01:01:03,411 --> 01:01:04,579
How pathetic.

1059
01:01:04,745 --> 01:01:07,165
Now stand still, so I won't make a mess.

1060
01:01:07,331 --> 01:01:11,127
Charming, stop! I'm here now.
You got what you wanted.

1061
01:01:11,294 --> 01:01:13,171
This isn't about him.

1062
01:01:13,921 --> 01:01:17,884
Then who's it about?
I'm supposed to be king, right?

1063
01:01:19,302 --> 01:01:23,598
You weren't really
next in line for the throne, OK.

1064
01:01:24,098 --> 01:01:25,266
I was.

1065
01:01:25,433 --> 01:01:28,811
But you said the King asked for
me personally.

1066
01:01:28,978 --> 01:01:31,898
- Not exactly.
- What's that supposed to mean?

1067
01:01:32,064 --> 01:01:34,901
Look, I said whatever I had to say,
all right?

1068
01:01:35,067 --> 01:01:38,696
I wasn't right for the job.
I just needed some fool to replace me.

1069
01:01:38,863 --> 01:01:42,408
And you fit the bill. So just go!

1070
01:01:45,786 --> 01:01:47,288
You were playing me the whole time.

1071
01:01:47,455 --> 01:01:49,582
You catch on real fast, kid.

1072
01:01:49,749 --> 01:01:52,835
Maybe you're not as big of a loser
as I thought.

1073
01:01:59,217 --> 01:02:01,469
You know, for a minute there,

1074
01:02:02,303 --> 01:02:03,804
- I actually thought you...
- [Prince Charming] What?

1075
01:02:03,971 --> 01:02:07,225
That he cared about you? He's an ogre.

1076
01:02:07,391 --> 01:02:09,227
What did you expect?

1077
01:02:19,445 --> 01:02:22,823
You really do have a way
with children, Shrek.

1078
01:02:22,990 --> 01:02:24,659
[chuckling]

1079
01:02:31,290 --> 01:02:32,750
["9 Crimes" playing]

1080
01:02:35,503 --> 01:02:38,881
<i>♪ Leave me out with the waste</i>

1081
01:02:39,048 --> 01:02:42,510
<i>♪ This is not what I do</i>

1082
01:02:42,677 --> 01:02:46,264
<i>♪ It's the wrong time</i>

1083
01:02:46,430 --> 01:02:48,766
<i>♪ She's pulling me through</i>

1084
01:02:48,933 --> 01:02:52,353
<i>♪ It's a small crime</i>

1085
01:02:53,020 --> 01:02:55,523
<i>♪ And I got no excuse</i>

1086
01:02:55,690 --> 01:02:58,234
<i>♪ And is that all right, yeah?</i>

1087
01:02:59,360 --> 01:03:02,363
<i>♪ Is that all right with you?</i>

1088
01:03:02,530 --> 01:03:06,367
<i>♪ Is that all right, yeah?</i>

1089
01:03:07,285 --> 01:03:11,330
<i>♪ If I give my gun away when it's loaded?</i>

1090
01:03:13,582 --> 01:03:18,212
<i>♪ If you don't shoot it
how am I supposed to hold it?</i>

1091
01:03:21,215 --> 01:03:24,468
<i>♪ Is that all right?
Is that all right?</i>

1092
01:03:24,635 --> 01:03:27,013
<i>♪ Is that all right with you?</i>

1093
01:03:27,972 --> 01:03:29,056
<i>♪ No</i>

1094
01:03:29,223 --> 01:03:30,766
[Snow White] Had we just
stayed put like I suggested,

1095
01:03:30,933 --> 01:03:33,227
we could be sipping tea
out of little heart-shaped cups.

1096
01:03:33,394 --> 01:03:35,563
Yeah, yeah, heart-shaped cups.

1097
01:03:35,730 --> 01:03:38,316
And eating crumpets
smothered with loganberries.

1098
01:03:38,482 --> 01:03:40,109
Yeah, loganberries.

1099
01:03:40,276 --> 01:03:42,069
- Shut up, Cindy.
- Yeah, shut up.

1100
01:03:42,236 --> 01:03:44,739
- No, you shut up.
- Just stay out of this.

1101
01:03:44,905 --> 01:03:48,117
Who cares who's
"running the kingdom" anyway?

1102
01:03:48,284 --> 01:03:51,537
- I care.
- And you should all care, too.

1103
01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:55,583
[Donkey and Puss exclaiming]

1104
01:03:55,750 --> 01:03:57,543
I have your badge number, tin can!

1105
01:03:57,710 --> 01:03:58,753
[hissing]

1106
01:03:58,919 --> 01:04:00,629
- [Fiona] Donkey?
- Princess!

1107
01:04:00,796 --> 01:04:01,839
Puss?

1108
01:04:02,006 --> 01:04:02,965
[speaking Spanish]

1109
01:04:03,132 --> 01:04:05,926
But I am Puss, stuck here inside
this hideous body.

1110
01:04:06,093 --> 01:04:07,803
- And I'm me!
- But you're...

1111
01:04:07,970 --> 01:04:10,973
I know. I know. Everything's a little fruity
in the loops, but what happened is

1112
01:04:11,140 --> 01:04:13,100
we went to high school,
and the boat crashed,

1113
01:04:13,267 --> 01:04:15,936
and we got bippity-boppity-booped
by the magic man.

1114
01:04:16,103 --> 01:04:18,189
You poor, sweet things.

1115
01:04:18,356 --> 01:04:19,523
I don't get it.

1116
01:04:19,690 --> 01:04:23,611
The cat turned into a little horse
that smells like feet. What's to get?

1117
01:04:23,778 --> 01:04:25,905
- Who dat?
- Where's Shrek?

1118
01:04:26,072 --> 01:04:27,323
Charming's got him, Princess,

1119
01:04:27,490 --> 01:04:30,242
and he plans on killing Shrek tonight
in front of the whole kingdom!

1120
01:04:30,409 --> 01:04:31,786
[gasping]

1121
01:04:31,952 --> 01:04:33,496
All right, everyone.

1122
01:04:33,662 --> 01:04:36,916
- We need to find a way out now.
- You're right.

1123
01:04:37,083 --> 01:04:39,293
Ladies, assume the position!

1124
01:04:42,713 --> 01:04:43,923
[snoring]

1125
01:04:44,298 --> 01:04:46,467
What are you doing?

1126
01:04:46,634 --> 01:04:48,010
Waiting to be rescued.

1127
01:04:48,177 --> 01:04:49,428
You've got to be kidding me.

1128
01:04:49,595 --> 01:04:52,890
Well, what do you expect us to do?
We're just four,

1129
01:04:53,057 --> 01:04:56,185
I mean three, super-hot princesses,

1130
01:04:56,352 --> 01:04:59,814
two circus freaks,
a pregnant ogre and an old lady!

1131
01:05:00,147 --> 01:05:01,148
Hmm.

1132
01:05:01,315 --> 01:05:05,403
Excuse me. Old lady coming through.

1133
01:05:09,323 --> 01:05:10,699
[shouting]

1134
01:05:12,076 --> 01:05:13,327
[exclaiming]

1135
01:05:14,286 --> 01:05:15,538
Mom!

1136
01:05:15,704 --> 01:05:17,289
Well, you didn't actually think

1137
01:05:17,456 --> 01:05:20,042
you got your fighting skills
from your father, did you?

1138
01:05:20,209 --> 01:05:23,504
Excuse me.
I think there's still one more.

1139
01:05:24,922 --> 01:05:26,090
Hmm.

1140
01:05:26,590 --> 01:05:27,925
[shouting]

1141
01:05:30,428 --> 01:05:32,680
[humming]

1142
01:05:33,597 --> 01:05:35,766
Why don't you just lie down?

1143
01:05:38,561 --> 01:05:43,524
OK, girls, from here on out, we're
gonna take care of business ourselves.

1144
01:06:01,000 --> 01:06:03,669
[announcer] Ladies and gentlemen,
the Far Far Away Theater

1145
01:06:03,836 --> 01:06:06,213
at the Charming Pavilion
is proud to present

1146
01:06:06,380 --> 01:06:08,716
<i>- It's a Happily Ever After After All.</i>
- Enjoy your evening

1147
01:06:08,883 --> 01:06:10,926
of theatrical reverie, citizen.

1148
01:06:11,093 --> 01:06:14,430
Oi! No food or beverages
in the theater!

1149
01:06:17,141 --> 01:06:19,351
[playing suspenseful music]

1150
01:06:28,319 --> 01:06:29,487
Places, everyone!

1151
01:06:33,741 --> 01:06:34,742
[exclaiming]

1152
01:06:34,909 --> 01:06:36,827
- Easy!
- Sorry.

1153
01:06:36,994 --> 01:06:39,580
I guess I was just showing off
for the little one.

1154
01:06:39,747 --> 01:06:40,664
Huh?

1155
01:06:40,831 --> 01:06:44,418
It's Bring Your Kids to Work Day.
Come here, beautiful.

1156
01:06:47,296 --> 01:06:50,257
Well, she's got your eye.

1157
01:06:50,424 --> 01:06:51,592
[chuckling]

1158
01:06:51,759 --> 01:06:53,886
Who would have thought
a monster like me

1159
01:06:54,053 --> 01:06:56,555
deserved something as special as you?

1160
01:07:05,481 --> 01:07:07,191
[bell tolling]

1161
01:07:19,787 --> 01:07:20,996
[imitating bird call]

1162
01:07:25,417 --> 01:07:27,294
[Snow White singing]

1163
01:07:27,461 --> 01:07:30,130
[bird whistling to same tune]

1164
01:07:38,013 --> 01:07:41,684
<i>[singing] ♪ Little birdies, take wing</i>

1165
01:07:41,850 --> 01:07:44,478
<i>♪ Flitting down from
the trees they appear</i>

1166
01:07:44,645 --> 01:07:47,565
<i>♪ And to chirp in my ear</i>

1167
01:07:48,649 --> 01:07:51,652
<i>♪ All because I sing</i>

1168
01:07:51,902 --> 01:07:54,113
[Snow White singing]

1169
01:08:17,511 --> 01:08:18,887
[exclaiming]

1170
01:08:21,223 --> 01:08:22,308
Move it! Go! Go!

1171
01:08:28,647 --> 01:08:30,065
My babies!

1172
01:08:30,232 --> 01:08:31,692
[screaming]

1173
01:08:32,484 --> 01:08:33,736
- Help!
- Hey!

1174
01:09:14,109 --> 01:09:15,527
[whistling]

1175
01:09:17,071 --> 01:09:18,405
[guard whistling]

1176
01:09:18,572 --> 01:09:20,282
Hey, how's it going?

1177
01:09:30,959 --> 01:09:32,670
O to the K. The coast is clear.

1178
01:09:32,836 --> 01:09:35,547
All right, people. Let's do this thing.
Go, Team Dynamite!

1179
01:09:35,714 --> 01:09:39,259
I thought we agreed we'd go
by the name of Team Super Cool.

1180
01:09:39,426 --> 01:09:41,720
As I recall, it was Team Awesome.

1181
01:09:41,887 --> 01:09:45,140
- I voted for Team Alpha Wolf Squadron.
- All right, all right, all right!

1182
01:09:45,307 --> 01:09:48,310
From henceforth, we are to be known
as Team Alpha Super Awesome

1183
01:09:48,477 --> 01:09:49,937
Cool Dynamite Wolf Squadron.

1184
01:09:50,104 --> 01:09:54,608
<i>Ach du lieber!</i> There is some strange
little girl over there staring at us!

1185
01:09:55,818 --> 01:09:57,194
Artie!

1186
01:09:57,361 --> 01:09:58,821
Wait, wait, wait. Hey!

1187
01:09:58,987 --> 01:10:00,864
Where is the fire, señor?

1188
01:10:01,031 --> 01:10:03,033
Please. Don't act so innocent.

1189
01:10:03,200 --> 01:10:05,452
You both knew
what was going on the whole time,

1190
01:10:05,619 --> 01:10:06,829
and you kept it to yourself.

1191
01:10:06,995 --> 01:10:08,622
Artie, it's not like it seems.

1192
01:10:08,789 --> 01:10:11,625
It's not? I think it seems pretty clear.

1193
01:10:11,959 --> 01:10:14,294
He was using me.
That's all there is to it.

1194
01:10:14,461 --> 01:10:16,839
Using you? Man, you really don't get it.

1195
01:10:17,005 --> 01:10:19,967
Shrek only said those
things to protect you.

1196
01:10:20,634 --> 01:10:23,345
Charming was going to kill you, Artie!

1197
01:10:23,512 --> 01:10:25,431
Shrek saved your life.

1198
01:10:35,858 --> 01:10:37,484
Cue the spot!

1199
01:10:41,155 --> 01:10:43,949
<i>[singing] ♪ I wait alone up here</i>

1200
01:10:44,116 --> 01:10:46,994
<i>♪ I'm trapped another day</i>

1201
01:10:47,161 --> 01:10:50,164
<i>♪ Locked up here, please set me free</i>

1202
01:10:50,330 --> 01:10:53,167
<i>♪ My new life I almost see</i>

1203
01:10:53,333 --> 01:10:56,003
<i>♪ A castle, you and me</i>

1204
01:10:56,170 --> 01:11:00,632
<i>♪ Yes, a castle, you and me</i>

1205
01:11:03,177 --> 01:11:04,303
Cherubs!

1206
01:11:08,557 --> 01:11:11,894
<i>[singing] ♪ Tis I, Tis I
Upon my regal steed</i>

1207
01:11:12,060 --> 01:11:13,729
<i>♪ Princess, my love</i>

1208
01:11:13,896 --> 01:11:16,607
<i>♪ At last you shall be freed
I'm strong</i>

1209
01:11:16,774 --> 01:11:19,359
<i>♪ And brave
And dashing my way there</i>

1210
01:11:19,526 --> 01:11:24,364
<i>♪ With speed! With might!
With soft and bouncy hair!</i>

1211
01:11:26,116 --> 01:11:29,703
<i>- ♪ Through the blistering desert
- ♪ Hot!</i>

1212
01:11:29,870 --> 01:11:32,748
<i>- ♪ Across the stormiest sea
- ♪ Wet!</i>

1213
01:11:32,915 --> 01:11:36,001
<i>- ♪ Facing creatures so vile
- ♪ Foul!</i>

1214
01:11:36,168 --> 01:11:39,963
<i>♪ So you can gaze upon me!</i>

1215
01:11:42,049 --> 01:11:44,218
<i>♪ I knew you'd come for me</i>

1216
01:11:44,384 --> 01:11:47,888
<i>♪ And now we finally meet</i>

1217
01:11:48,055 --> 01:11:49,807
<i>♪ I knew you'd wait</i>

1218
01:11:49,973 --> 01:11:54,520
<i>♪ And from my plate of love you'd eat</i>

1219
01:11:57,481 --> 01:11:58,982
[growling]

1220
01:12:08,367 --> 01:12:09,910
[cheering] Shrek! Shrek!

1221
01:12:14,331 --> 01:12:17,459
<i>♪ Who is this terribly ugly fiend
Who so rudely intervened?</i>

1222
01:12:17,626 --> 01:12:19,419
<i>♪ Will Charming fight, or will he flee?</i>

1223
01:12:19,586 --> 01:12:20,754
<i>♪ Please rescue me!</i>

1224
01:12:20,921 --> 01:12:22,756
<i>♪ From this monstrosity!</i>

1225
01:12:22,923 --> 01:12:24,758
<i>[singing falsetto]
♪ Fear thee not, honey lamb!</i>

1226
01:12:24,925 --> 01:12:29,263
<i>♪ I will slice this thing up like a ham!</i>

1227
01:12:29,429 --> 01:12:30,430
Oh, boy.

1228
01:12:30,597 --> 01:12:33,892
You are about to enter a world of pain

1229
01:12:34,059 --> 01:12:37,729
with which you are not familiar!

1230
01:12:42,484 --> 01:12:46,655
Well, it can't be any more painful than
the lousy performance you're giving.

1231
01:12:46,822 --> 01:12:48,407
[laughing]

1232
01:12:50,492 --> 01:12:52,452
"Prepare, foul beast."

1233
01:12:52,619 --> 01:12:53,954
[clearing throat]

1234
01:12:54,121 --> 01:12:57,583
<i>♪ Prepare, foul beast,
your time is done!</i>

1235
01:12:57,749 --> 01:13:01,003
If you don't mind,
could you kill me and then sing?

1236
01:13:01,169 --> 01:13:02,588
[all laughing]

1237
01:13:02,754 --> 01:13:03,964
Be quiet!

1238
01:13:04,131 --> 01:13:08,802
Come on, I'm just having fun with you.
That's actually a very nice leotard.

1239
01:13:09,636 --> 01:13:11,972
- Thank you.
- Do they come in men's sizes?

1240
01:13:15,309 --> 01:13:16,977
Now that be funny!

1241
01:13:17,436 --> 01:13:18,770
Enough!

1242
01:13:21,523 --> 01:13:25,485
Now you'll finally know what it's like

1243
01:13:25,652 --> 01:13:28,947
to have everything you worked for,

1244
01:13:29,114 --> 01:13:33,160
everything that's precious to you
taken away.

1245
01:13:33,327 --> 01:13:36,455
Now you'll know how I felt.

1246
01:13:39,833 --> 01:13:41,543
[growling]

1247
01:13:43,962 --> 01:13:45,464
Sausage roll!

1248
01:13:50,677 --> 01:13:52,304
[growling lethargically]

1249
01:13:59,895 --> 01:14:01,146
[exclaiming]

1250
01:14:02,940 --> 01:14:05,567
Pray for mercy from Puss!

1251
01:14:05,734 --> 01:14:07,194
And Donkey!

1252
01:14:08,612 --> 01:14:09,738
Hey!

1253
01:14:10,030 --> 01:14:11,031
[thudding]

1254
01:14:16,370 --> 01:14:17,996
[audience cheering]

1255
01:14:19,665 --> 01:14:21,041
Hi, honey.

1256
01:14:21,208 --> 01:14:23,752
Sorry we're late. You OK?

1257
01:14:23,919 --> 01:14:25,796
Much better, now that you're here.

1258
01:14:25,963 --> 01:14:27,381
[all] Aw!

1259
01:14:29,007 --> 01:14:31,551
So, Charming,
you want to let me out of these

1260
01:14:31,718 --> 01:14:33,845
so we can settle this ogre-to-man?

1261
01:14:34,012 --> 01:14:38,058
Ooh, that sounds fun.
But I have a better idea.

1262
01:14:50,904 --> 01:14:52,072
Oh.

1263
01:14:52,739 --> 01:14:54,032
[growling]

1264
01:14:54,408 --> 01:14:56,576
- Fiona!
- No! Let go of me!

1265
01:14:56,743 --> 01:14:59,830
You will not ruin things this time, ogre.

1266
01:14:59,997 --> 01:15:01,289
Kill it.

1267
01:15:04,835 --> 01:15:06,503
[Artie] Everybody, stop!

1268
01:15:06,670 --> 01:15:07,671
[all gasping]

1269
01:15:08,714 --> 01:15:10,674
What is it now?

1270
01:15:10,841 --> 01:15:12,092
Artie?

1271
01:15:12,426 --> 01:15:13,969
[all exclaiming]

1272
01:15:21,935 --> 01:15:25,397
Who really thinks we need
to settle things this way?

1273
01:15:28,608 --> 01:15:32,112
You're telling me you just wanna
be villains your whole lives?

1274
01:15:32,279 --> 01:15:35,782
But we are villains!
It's the only thing we know.

1275
01:15:35,949 --> 01:15:38,744
Didn't you ever wish
you could be something else?

1276
01:15:38,910 --> 01:15:42,289
Well, it's easy for you to say.
You're not some evil enchanted tree.

1277
01:15:42,456 --> 01:15:44,958
You morons! Don't listen to him!
Attack them!

1278
01:15:45,125 --> 01:15:48,462
What Steve's trying to say here is
it's hard to come by honest work

1279
01:15:48,628 --> 01:15:50,130
when the whole world's against you.

1280
01:15:50,297 --> 01:15:52,007
Right. Thanks, Ed.

1281
01:15:52,174 --> 01:15:56,720
OK. Fair enough. You're right.
I'm not a talking tree.

1282
01:15:56,887 --> 01:15:58,180
But you know,

1283
01:15:58,346 --> 01:16:01,058
a good friend of mine once told me

1284
01:16:01,224 --> 01:16:05,687
that just because people treat you
like a villain, or an ogre,

1285
01:16:06,730 --> 01:16:08,774
or just some loser,

1286
01:16:10,192 --> 01:16:12,652
it doesn't mean you are one.

1287
01:16:14,988 --> 01:16:18,950
The thing that matters most
is what you think of yourself.

1288
01:16:19,117 --> 01:16:23,330
If there's something you really want,
or someone you really want to be,

1289
01:16:23,497 --> 01:16:27,209
then the only person standing
in your way is you.

1290
01:16:27,375 --> 01:16:28,794
- Me?
- Get him, lads.

1291
01:16:28,960 --> 01:16:30,545
- [all] Yeah!
- No, no, no!

1292
01:16:30,712 --> 01:16:33,840
What I mean is each of you

1293
01:16:34,007 --> 01:16:36,009
is standing in your own way.

1294
01:16:36,468 --> 01:16:38,053
[all] Oh!

1295
01:16:39,429 --> 01:16:42,682
[sniffling] I've always wanted
to play the flute.

1296
01:16:42,849 --> 01:16:46,186
I'd like to open up a spa in France!

1297
01:16:46,353 --> 01:16:48,188
I grow daffodils.

1298
01:16:49,147 --> 01:16:51,108
And they're beautiful.

1299
01:17:03,745 --> 01:17:04,746
[exclaiming]

1300
01:17:13,797 --> 01:17:15,924
[all exclaiming]

1301
01:17:34,025 --> 01:17:35,569
[all exclaiming]

1302
01:17:39,823 --> 01:17:42,784
A new era finally begins!

1303
01:17:44,911 --> 01:17:47,164
Now all of you,

1304
01:17:47,330 --> 01:17:49,249
bow before your King!

1305
01:17:49,916 --> 01:17:51,334
[all murmuring]

1306
01:17:54,421 --> 01:17:55,755
[clearing throat]

1307
01:17:56,214 --> 01:17:58,550
You need to work on your aim.

1308
01:17:58,717 --> 01:18:00,260
[audience exclaiming]

1309
01:18:00,927 --> 01:18:03,889
This was supposed to be
my happily ever after!

1310
01:18:04,055 --> 01:18:07,100
Well, I guess you
need to keep looking...

1311
01:18:08,393 --> 01:18:10,437
...because I'm not giving up mine.

1312
01:18:15,775 --> 01:18:16,943
Mommy?

1313
01:18:28,246 --> 01:18:30,832
It's yours if you want it, you know.

1314
01:18:30,999 --> 01:18:33,335
But this time it's your choice.

1315
01:18:40,800 --> 01:18:42,552
[all cheering]

1316
01:18:55,982 --> 01:18:57,108
Bravo!

1317
01:19:00,820 --> 01:19:01,738
[all chanting]

1318
01:19:01,905 --> 01:19:05,367
Artie! Artie! Artie! Artie!

1319
01:19:05,533 --> 01:19:07,619
Excuse me. That's my seat.

1320
01:19:09,079 --> 01:19:10,956
OK, Señor Hocusy-Pocusy,

1321
01:19:11,122 --> 01:19:13,833
the time has come
to rectify some wrongs!

1322
01:19:14,000 --> 01:19:16,378
Although I have been enjoying
these cat baths.

1323
01:19:16,544 --> 01:19:17,629
Please, say you didn't.

1324
01:19:17,796 --> 01:19:19,673
All right! All right! Look.

1325
01:19:19,839 --> 01:19:21,091
You're gonna feel a little pinch

1326
01:19:21,258 --> 01:19:23,551
and possibly
some lower intestinal discomfort,

1327
01:19:23,718 --> 01:19:26,054
but this should do the trick.

1328
01:19:30,267 --> 01:19:32,519
- Are you...
- I'm me again!

1329
01:19:32,686 --> 01:19:34,980
- And I am not you!
- All right!

1330
01:19:36,606 --> 01:19:37,774
Oops.

1331
01:19:39,985 --> 01:19:40,986
Never mind.

1332
01:19:45,198 --> 01:19:49,244
What did I tell you?
I think the kid's going to be a great king.

1333
01:19:49,411 --> 01:19:52,914
Well, for what it's worth,
you would have, too.

1334
01:19:54,541 --> 01:19:57,544
I have something much more
important in mind.

1335
01:20:18,315 --> 01:20:19,858
[sighing contentedly]

1336
01:20:21,276 --> 01:20:22,569
[giggling]

1337
01:20:23,153 --> 01:20:24,404
Finally.

1338
01:20:27,824 --> 01:20:29,409
[laughing]

1339
01:20:30,952 --> 01:20:32,287
Dada.

1340
01:20:32,871 --> 01:20:34,247
["Losing Streak" playing]

1341
01:20:34,414 --> 01:20:38,835
<i>♪ Was I wrong about the world?
It's a beautiful new place</i>

1342
01:20:39,002 --> 01:20:40,962
I smell Shrek Junior!

1343
01:20:41,129 --> 01:20:44,341
<i>♪ Where else could a creep like me</i>

1344
01:20:44,507 --> 01:20:46,885
<i>♪ Meet such a pretty face</i>

1345
01:20:47,052 --> 01:20:51,348
<i>♪ Meeting every day with the rising sun</i>

1346
01:20:53,600 --> 01:20:55,185
<i>♪ Looking up, it's looking like</i>

1347
01:20:55,352 --> 01:20:56,436
[farting]

1348
01:20:56,603 --> 01:20:59,356
<i>♪ My losing streak is done</i>

1349
01:21:00,690 --> 01:21:02,025
Peek-a-boo!

1350
01:21:02,192 --> 01:21:03,526
Peek-a-boo!

1351
01:21:06,071 --> 01:21:08,281
A bouncy, bouncy, boy!

1352
01:21:08,448 --> 01:21:09,783
<i>♪ Used to always feel like</i>

1353
01:21:09,949 --> 01:21:10,950
[knocking at door]

1354
01:21:11,451 --> 01:21:13,244
<i>♪ Wished that I was dressed better</i>

1355
01:21:13,411 --> 01:21:14,412
Hey!

1356
01:21:15,163 --> 01:21:16,122
Where's the baby?

1357
01:21:16,289 --> 01:21:20,126
<i>♪ Never had a lot of luck
Until I finally met her</i>

1358
01:21:20,293 --> 01:21:21,753
[laughing]

1359
01:21:30,637 --> 01:21:34,641
<i>♪ Meeting every day with the rising sun</i>

1360
01:21:37,352 --> 01:21:40,021
<i>♪ Looking up, it's looking like</i>

1361
01:21:40,188 --> 01:21:42,524
<i>♪ My losing streak is done</i>

1362
01:21:42,690 --> 01:21:43,817
[burping]

1363
01:21:43,983 --> 01:21:44,901
[farting]

1364
01:21:45,068 --> 01:21:47,445
<i>♪ My losing streak is done ♪</i>

1365
01:21:58,248 --> 01:22:01,000
Well, what shall we do now?

1366
01:22:02,085 --> 01:22:03,461
[snoring]

1367
01:22:10,844 --> 01:22:12,303
[baby crying]

1368
01:22:15,807 --> 01:22:17,183
[Shrek sighing]

1369
01:22:17,350 --> 01:22:19,018
[Shrek] I got it.

1370
01:22:25,066 --> 01:22:29,529
[Donkey] Puss and Donkey, baby!
Once again, baby, come on!

1371
01:22:29,696 --> 01:22:34,409
<i>[singing] ♪ I want to thank you
for letting me be myself</i>

1372
01:22:34,576 --> 01:22:35,535
<i>♪ Again!</i>

1373
01:22:35,702 --> 01:22:37,203
<i>♪ Look at my hips!</i>

1374
01:22:37,370 --> 01:22:42,542
<i>♪ I want to thank you
for letting me be myself</i>

1375
01:22:43,042 --> 01:22:44,419
<i>♪ Again!</i>

1376
01:22:50,049 --> 01:22:51,593
- [Donkey] Break it down!
- [Puss] Let's go!

1377
01:22:51,759 --> 01:22:54,179
<i>[Donkey] ♪ Stiff all in the collar</i>

1378
01:22:55,847 --> 01:22:58,016
<i>♪ Fluffy in the face</i>

1379
01:23:00,018 --> 01:23:02,520
<i>[Donkey] ♪ Chit chat chatter trying</i>

1380
01:23:04,230 --> 01:23:06,399
<i>[Puss] ♪ Stuffy in the place</i>

1381
01:23:08,401 --> 01:23:11,237
<i>♪ Thank you for the par-tay</i>

1382
01:23:12,322 --> 01:23:13,948
<i>♪ But I could never stay</i>

1383
01:23:14,115 --> 01:23:15,450
<i>♪ I'm sorry</i>

1384
01:23:16,367 --> 01:23:19,370
<i>[Donkey] ♪ I got many things
on my mind</i>

1385
01:23:20,497 --> 01:23:22,665
<i>♪ But the word's in the way</i>

1386
01:23:23,791 --> 01:23:28,880
<i>♪ And I want to thank you
for letting me be myself</i>

1387
01:23:29,047 --> 01:23:30,548
<i>♪ Again</i>

1388
01:23:31,424 --> 01:23:33,259
<i>♪ Different strokes for different folks</i>

1389
01:23:33,426 --> 01:23:37,222
<i>♪ Thank you for letting me be myself</i>

1390
01:23:37,388 --> 01:23:38,890
<i>♪ Again</i>

1391
01:23:41,059 --> 01:23:42,560
<i>[Donkey] ♪ Break it down!</i>

1392
01:23:43,102 --> 01:23:46,272
<i>♪ Puss and Donkey, baby!
Puss and Donkey, baby!</i>

1393
01:23:47,273 --> 01:23:49,275
<i>♪ Puss and Donkey, baby!</i>

1394
01:23:50,151 --> 01:23:52,320
<i>♪ Dance to the music</i>

1395
01:23:54,322 --> 01:23:56,199
<i>♪ All night long</i>

1396
01:23:58,451 --> 01:24:00,411
<i>♪ Everyday people</i>

1397
01:24:02,705 --> 01:24:04,874
<i>♪ Sing a simple song</i>

1398
01:24:06,834 --> 01:24:08,795
<i>♪ Mama's so happy</i>

1399
01:24:11,005 --> 01:24:13,007
<i>♪ Mama start to cry</i>

1400
01:24:15,176 --> 01:24:17,136
<i>♪ Papa's still singing</i>

1401
01:24:18,805 --> 01:24:22,392
<i>♪ You can make it if you try
So try!</i>

1402
01:24:23,518 --> 01:24:27,313
<i>♪ I wanna thank you
for letting me be myself</i>

1403
01:24:27,480 --> 01:24:28,815
<i>♪ Again</i>

1404
01:24:29,732 --> 01:24:31,818
<i>♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah!</i>

1405
01:24:31,985 --> 01:24:35,697
<i>♪ Thank you for letting me be myself</i>

1406
01:24:35,863 --> 01:24:37,198
<i>♪ Again</i>

1407
01:24:37,657 --> 01:24:40,410
<i>♪ Come on, Donkey
Do something right!</i>

1408
01:24:40,577 --> 01:24:43,997
<i>♪ Put the hoofs together!
Put the hoofs together!</i>

1409
01:24:44,163 --> 01:24:46,082
<i>♪ Stomp your boots, baby!</i>

1410
01:24:46,249 --> 01:24:48,501
<i>♪ Stomp your boots, baby!
Stomp your boots, baby!</i>

1411
01:24:48,668 --> 01:24:52,422
<i>♪ I wanna thank you
for letting me be myself</i>

1412
01:24:52,589 --> 01:24:54,007
<i>♪ Again</i>

1413
01:24:54,173 --> 01:24:56,092
[speaking Spanish]

1414
01:24:56,259 --> 01:25:00,680
<i>♪ I want to thank you
for letting me be myself</i>

1415
01:25:00,847 --> 01:25:01,848
<i>♪ Again</i>

1416
01:25:02,015 --> 01:25:04,392
Thank you, thank you, thank you.

1417
01:25:04,559 --> 01:25:07,687
<i>♪ Want to thank you
Just to be my</i>

1418
01:25:07,854 --> 01:25:11,190
<i>♪ Because I just want to be my... See?</i>

1419
01:25:11,357 --> 01:25:12,609
<i>♪ Can I, can I thank you! Can I</i>

1420
01:25:12,775 --> 01:25:16,112
All right! Yes! Yes!