1 00:00:00,125 --> 00:00:05,129 So, you got a Green Beret, a Navy SEAL and a sister from Brooklyn. 2 00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:08,132 The general hands each of them a gun and says, 3 00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:11,636 "Your spouse is seated next door in a room in a chair. 4 00:00:11,762 --> 00:00:15,098 "In order to pass this test, you must go inside and kill them." 5 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,059 Immediately the Green Beret says, 6 00:00:18,185 --> 00:00:20,728 "No, sir, I could never kill my wife. I just can't do it." 7 00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:22,814 The General looks at him and says, "You know what? 8 00:00:22,940 --> 00:00:26,025 "You ain't got what it takes. Take your wife and go on home." 9 00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:27,360 Navy Seal then heads in. 10 00:00:27,486 --> 00:00:30,279 Five minutes later, comes out, tears strolling down his face. 11 00:00:30,406 --> 00:00:32,448 "I tried, I tried, I tried, I just can't do it, 12 00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:34,909 "she looked so beautiful in the chair, I can't do it." 13 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,828 General looks at him and says, "You know what? 14 00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:38,246 "You ain't got what it takes." 15 00:00:38,372 --> 00:00:41,791 Finally, sister from Brooklyn strolls in with a swagger. 16 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:44,043 Shots rang out, 17 00:00:44,169 --> 00:00:45,920 there's banging, there's screaming, it's going crazy! 18 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,089 Suddenly, everything goes silent. 19 00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:51,259 The General says, "Well, what the hell happened inside?" 20 00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:52,677 The sister from Brooklyn screams back, 21 00:00:52,803 --> 00:00:54,762 "The damn gun had blanks in it, 22 00:00:54,888 --> 00:00:57,432 "so I had to beat him to death with my bare..." 23 00:00:58,392 --> 00:00:59,559 What the hell? 24 00:00:59,685 --> 00:01:01,310 A little bit of warning would have been nice! 25 00:01:01,437 --> 00:01:02,854 The sound of a saw cutting a hole in the wall 26 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:03,896 wasn't warning enough? 27 00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:04,856 Bite me. 28 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:17,952 What, are you kidding me? Tub of Goo there's gotta be over six bills. 29 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,829 You ain't gonna lift him with a couple of blankets. 30 00:01:19,955 --> 00:01:21,289 You got a better idea, Einstein? 31 00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:22,957 Yeah, just roll him off. 32 00:01:24,001 --> 00:01:25,752 What? He's already dead, it ain't like he's gonna feel it. 33 00:01:25,878 --> 00:01:27,253 How the hell's a guy get that big? 34 00:01:27,379 --> 00:01:28,254 You roll him off from this high, 35 00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:29,922 he's likely to go right through the floor and take us with him. 36 00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:32,884 Are you ready? All right, one, two, lift! 37 00:01:35,304 --> 00:01:36,262 Come on, man! 38 00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:37,764 Me? You're the kielbasa king. 39 00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:39,015 It wasn't me. 40 00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:41,642 Whoa, it wasn't me, either. 41 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,355 Don't look at me. 42 00:01:50,194 --> 00:01:51,903 Please tell me dead guys can fart. 43 00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:54,030 Of course. Dead bodies are full of all sorts of gases. 44 00:01:54,156 --> 00:01:55,448 But a dead body can't tighten a sphincter. 45 00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:57,116 You need a tight sphincter to make a fart. 46 00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:58,659 No, you need a loose sphincter. A tight sphincter... 47 00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:00,369 You check his femoral? 48 00:02:00,496 --> 00:02:03,247 No. He peed all over himself! 49 00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:05,917 Look, I've heard dead bodies moan, groan, hiss, 50 00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:07,668 hell, I've even seen them sit straight up on a gurney. 51 00:02:07,795 --> 00:02:11,130 Trust me, his skin's cold, pupils are fixed and dilated, he's not breathing. 52 00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:13,132 - He's got a pulse! - No way. 53 00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:15,885 All right, give me an Ambu bag and an EKG. It's thready, but it's there. 54 00:02:16,011 --> 00:02:17,595 Let's get him in a basket. Ready? 55 00:02:17,721 --> 00:02:19,680 One, two, lift! 56 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:57,760 Forty-six-year-old guy in a coma. 57 00:02:57,886 --> 00:02:59,679 Doesn't appear to be anything wrong with him 58 00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:01,973 except for the fact that he weighs over 600 pounds. 59 00:03:02,099 --> 00:03:03,266 What time does he usually get in? 60 00:03:03,392 --> 00:03:05,184 Any time between 8:00 and 10:00. 61 00:03:05,310 --> 00:03:06,978 - Did you say 600? - At least. 62 00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:08,896 Biggest scale we got only goes up to 350 63 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:11,315 but this guy's waistline is over seven feet. 64 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:14,360 Which means he's a diabetic with blood thicker than pancake batter. 65 00:03:14,486 --> 00:03:16,195 No mystery there, not much we can do. 66 00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:17,280 Blood sugar's normal. 67 00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:20,950 Cholesterol's lower than mine, tox screen's clean, no sign of trauma. 68 00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,535 Sure there wasn't a mix-up at the lab? 69 00:03:22,661 --> 00:03:24,120 Three times? 70 00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:26,455 It's almost 11:00, where is House? 71 00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:11,876 Hello! 72 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:15,171 It's 11:00. 73 00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:19,550 Which means my friend is ready for his sponge bath and I shouldn't be here! 74 00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:25,514 Hey, Gomer Pyle! I know you can hear me. 75 00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,902 I think you mean Barney Fife. 76 00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:40,947 So many great idiot icons to choose from. 77 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,408 You need time to think of some more? 78 00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:46,577 Either arraign me or let me go. 79 00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:49,038 No problem. Which do you prefer? 80 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,008 What took you so long? 81 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,303 Sorry. I didn't have 15 grand in my loose change jar. 82 00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:06,639 - What the hell did you do? - Nothing. 83 00:05:06,807 --> 00:05:10,184 Your motorcycle was impounded, that explains the speeding, DUI, 84 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:11,602 and driving without a license. 85 00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:15,189 The fact that you're you explains the illegal possession of narcotics 86 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,233 and resisting arrest. 87 00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:20,528 Where's your car? 88 00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:21,737 What happened? 89 00:05:21,863 --> 00:05:24,782 Some idiot cop with crotch rot obviously thought 90 00:05:24,908 --> 00:05:27,535 that I didn't treat him with the deference due to a man of his stature. 91 00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,161 He trumped up a traffic stop, 92 00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:30,830 next thing I know I'm sharing a cage 93 00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:32,206 with a guy who thinks that showers 94 00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,750 are the way the devil gets inside you. 95 00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,002 Does Cuddy know? 96 00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:38,045 Everything she needs to. 97 00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:41,424 - I'm innocent. - Till proven guilty. 98 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:44,301 Guy wanted to punish me, he did it. It's over. 99 00:05:44,428 --> 00:05:45,511 Gotta get yourself a lawyer. 100 00:05:45,637 --> 00:05:46,554 Already got one. 101 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,390 You know what they say about the lawyer who has himself as a client? 102 00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,767 Same thing they say about the doctor who lends 15 grand 103 00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:54,311 to a friend he knows can't pay him back. 104 00:05:54,438 --> 00:05:57,648 Relax, you'll get it. Where am I gonna take off to? 105 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:05,614 Does Salma Hayek live in Mexico or Spain? 106 00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:10,578 There's nothing abnormal in the EEG or the neurological exam. 107 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:12,663 I'm guessing it's food-related. 108 00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,248 Improperly prepared puffer fish 109 00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,708 can have toxins that could cause a coma 110 00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:18,419 and might not show up on the tox screen. 111 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,046 Where do you think he is? 112 00:06:20,172 --> 00:06:21,505 He's probably at the track. 113 00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,674 If he's at the track he'd tell us so we don't have to page him, 114 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,343 and if it was a puffer fish, he'd be dead in six to eight hours, tops. 115 00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:27,803 He's been in a coma at least 24. 116 00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,973 And the guy didn't get to 600 pounds eating a load of sushi. 117 00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,475 What if he was in a motorcycle accident? 118 00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:35,144 Explains the coma. But how'd he get back in bed? 119 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:37,772 Oh, Cameron's talking about House! 120 00:06:37,898 --> 00:06:39,106 You ever see how he drives? 121 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:40,232 No, we haven't. 122 00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,193 But I have seen how many pills he's been popping lately, 123 00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:44,904 I wouldn't be surprised if he's in a coma somewhere himself. 124 00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:47,031 If I am, this is one lame hallucination. 125 00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:48,157 What happened to you? 126 00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:51,452 If you ever end up in a bar with the Cambridge Women's Heavyweight Eight, 127 00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:54,371 do not accept an offer of an upside-down kamikaze shot. 128 00:06:54,498 --> 00:06:56,332 - We have a case. - Fat guy in a coma, I know. 129 00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:57,374 - Cuddy found you? - Nope. 130 00:06:57,501 --> 00:06:59,043 But the wall between Wilson's office 131 00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:00,503 and this one is thinner than you'd think. 132 00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:01,712 Which means we need to stop talking 133 00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:03,464 about what a pathetic loser he is. 134 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:06,092 Start treating Jabba for pickwickian syndrome. 135 00:07:06,218 --> 00:07:10,262 His 96 double-Zs are probably putting pressure on his chest, suffocating him. 136 00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:12,056 CO2 and oxygen sats are normal. 137 00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:14,642 For you and me. What's normal for a hippopotamus? 138 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,102 And get a detailed medical history. 139 00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:17,311 From who? He was brought in alone. 140 00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:20,898 And I doubt a guy who weighs 600 pounds bothers with annual physicals. 141 00:07:21,024 --> 00:07:22,691 Talk to the neighbors and search the house. 142 00:07:22,818 --> 00:07:26,028 Let's see what else Shamu's been up to besides eating. 143 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:27,863 This conversation is over 144 00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:31,951 because I've officially run out of clever things to call the guy. 145 00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:42,419 It's hard to believe you can even attach this much flesh to a human skeleton. 146 00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:45,631 I wouldn't exactly call this attached. 147 00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:46,674 This is ridiculous. 148 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,218 A person shouldn't be able to eat themselves into oblivion 149 00:07:49,344 --> 00:07:52,179 and then just expect everyone to pull out the stops to fix everything. 150 00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:55,266 What are we supposed to do? Refuse treatment to anyone who's obese? 151 00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:58,060 Come on, give me a break. This guy's not obese. 152 00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:00,855 He's not even morbidly obese. He's suicidal. 153 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,523 People who attempt suicide get treated. 154 00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,441 Plenty of noncompliant diabetics don't. 155 00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:06,277 We don't give drug addicts dialysis 156 00:08:06,403 --> 00:08:08,654 or alcoholics liver transplants. 157 00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:10,114 What is your problem? 158 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,824 You get beat up by a gang of fat kids 159 00:08:11,950 --> 00:08:13,159 when you were in grade school or something? 160 00:08:13,285 --> 00:08:16,245 Yeah. I'm the one with the problem. 161 00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:19,165 So, I think his bedroom's through there, 162 00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:21,500 and the kitchen's to the left. 163 00:08:21,668 --> 00:08:23,502 Have you seen any changes in his personality? 164 00:08:23,628 --> 00:08:25,838 Any trouble with memory or balance? 165 00:08:25,964 --> 00:08:28,799 No, but I really don't see him that often. 166 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,509 He's not unfriendly or anything, 167 00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:32,678 I guess he just likes to keep to himself. 168 00:08:32,804 --> 00:08:36,640 I think he only gave me a spare set of keys 'cause I gave him mine. 169 00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:39,101 What? 170 00:08:39,227 --> 00:08:43,147 Nothing. Just reminds me of someone I know. Who is unfriendly. 171 00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,857 Does George have a job? 172 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:47,109 He has a headhunting business he runs from home. 173 00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:49,153 Occasionally he'll interview people here, 174 00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:51,238 but he does most of it over the phone. 175 00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,531 Wow! 176 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:55,451 Yeah, he loves to cook. 177 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,745 And eat, obviously. 178 00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:00,289 Four-course gourmet meals almost every night, 179 00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:01,498 sometimes for lunch, too. 180 00:09:01,625 --> 00:09:04,627 Do you know if he ever uses any unpasteurized cheese or wild game? 181 00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:05,836 I'm not sure. 182 00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:08,756 He gets all his groceries delivered from that market down on Alden. 183 00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,466 They'd probably know. 184 00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,386 - He have any friends? - No. 185 00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:17,014 I mean, sometimes women do come by. 186 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:21,227 Young, attractive, never the same one twice, if you know what I mean. 187 00:09:21,353 --> 00:09:22,186 I see. 188 00:09:22,312 --> 00:09:26,065 There can't be many women who'd wanna be with a guy like him. 189 00:09:32,489 --> 00:09:34,448 It's usually worst in the morning. 190 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,033 Especially if I've slept on my arm. 191 00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:39,036 If I sleep on my back or with my arms out, I'm usually okay. 192 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:44,166 So your arm only hurts after you lie on top of it all night. 193 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:45,251 Yeah. 194 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:50,047 Well, have you thought about, I don't know, not doing that? 195 00:09:50,173 --> 00:09:53,008 Yeah. But it's how I sleep, it's how I've always slept. 196 00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:54,218 Well, there's always surgery. 197 00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:56,262 To do what? Like, clean out some cartilage or something? 198 00:09:56,388 --> 00:10:00,266 You're not sleeping on some cartilage, you're sleeping on your arm. 199 00:10:00,392 --> 00:10:02,309 You wanna remove my arm? 200 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:05,271 Well, it is your left. You know, a guy's gotta sleep. 201 00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:07,606 Are you insane? 202 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,952 I see spending a night in jail hasn't humbled you a bit. 203 00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:22,288 While following my every move is flattering, 204 00:10:22,414 --> 00:10:26,041 a single rose on my doorstep each morning would be more enticing. 205 00:10:26,167 --> 00:10:27,835 Just bringing your boss up to speed, 206 00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,629 which I guess you didn't feel was necessary. 207 00:10:30,755 --> 00:10:32,631 You gonna add that to my list of charges? 208 00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:36,010 People who are innocent tend not to try to hide their arrest. 209 00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:40,264 Is that based on your years of experience arresting innocent people? 210 00:10:42,225 --> 00:10:43,934 The way you're going at that gum, 211 00:10:44,060 --> 00:10:46,395 it's obviously not having the desired effect. 212 00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:49,732 You're the addict. You're gonna be back on the butts in a month. 213 00:10:49,858 --> 00:10:53,360 You're just taking out your frustration on me 'cause my meds actually work. 214 00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:55,988 Why don't you quit while you're ahead. 215 00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:57,698 Before you end up as a security guard 216 00:10:57,824 --> 00:11:00,159 working the night shift at some strip mall. 217 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:03,162 I think working around a bunch of nurses 218 00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:06,498 has given you a false sense of your ability to intimidate. 219 00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:16,675 Who was that? 220 00:11:17,886 --> 00:11:20,721 Apparently Cuddy's widened her sperm donor search 221 00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:22,473 to include Neanderthals. 222 00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:25,017 Cuddy's looking for a sperm donor? 223 00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:29,355 It was a joke. Like Cuddy would ever want a kid. 224 00:11:29,481 --> 00:11:30,564 Or a kid would ever want Cuddy. 225 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,900 Hello, that's why it's funny! 226 00:11:33,401 --> 00:11:34,777 Why are you guys here? 227 00:11:34,903 --> 00:11:36,320 It's not pickwick's. 228 00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:38,364 Intubation and steroids have had no effect. 229 00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:40,240 Except maybe to cause whatever it is to get worse. 230 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,325 He's got a fever now. 231 00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,534 What'd you find out? 232 00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:45,329 That you and George have the same taste in home furnishings and women. 233 00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:47,206 Danish Modern and Russian gymnasts? 234 00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:48,499 Pianos and prostitutes. 235 00:11:48,625 --> 00:11:50,376 We should do an LP and look for neurosyphilis. 236 00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:52,336 - It's not syphilis. - How do you know? 237 00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:54,546 Because you get STDs from people you trust, 238 00:11:54,672 --> 00:11:56,757 people you don't feel the need to protect yourself from. 239 00:11:56,883 --> 00:11:59,468 Whatever he has is connected to his gut, not what's below it. 240 00:11:59,594 --> 00:12:01,220 MRI his brain, look for clots. 241 00:12:01,346 --> 00:12:04,264 Weight limit on the MRI machine is 450 pounds. 242 00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:05,641 So do a CT. 243 00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:07,351 Limit's 350. 244 00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:08,852 Then just start treatment. 245 00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:10,771 If we give him blood thinners and the coma's caused 246 00:12:10,897 --> 00:12:12,439 by a bleed instead of a clot, we could kill him. 247 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:15,859 Either start treatment or start building a stronger MRI. 248 00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,277 Whatever you do, do it fast. 249 00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:18,529 The longer he stays in the coma, 250 00:12:18,655 --> 00:12:21,532 the less likely it is he'll ever wake up. 251 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,786 There's no way. 252 00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:28,705 His head's the only part that we have to get in the machine. 253 00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:30,207 If we can just get him on the table... 254 00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:32,126 We get him on the table, we break the table. 255 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,545 We break the table, hospital's out a million dollars 256 00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:35,504 and we're out of our jobs. 257 00:12:35,630 --> 00:12:37,881 The weight limit's obviously just an estimation. 258 00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:40,092 It's not like if it can hold 450 pounds fine, 259 00:12:40,218 --> 00:12:42,177 it'll instantly collapse under 451. 260 00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:46,056 He's not one pound over, he's 150 pounds over. 261 00:12:46,182 --> 00:12:49,393 I don't care! He still deserves the same standard of care as anyone else. 262 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,771 Then you believe the machine will stand on principle. 263 00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,653 You guys gonna help or not? 264 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:03,240 How much does this guy weigh? 265 00:13:03,366 --> 00:13:05,367 - 440. - Looks like a lot more than that. 266 00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:06,660 It's 'cause he's lying down. 267 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,121 You guys ready? One, two, three. 268 00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:28,265 - Here. - What's this? 269 00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:31,101 I made some calls for you. 270 00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:33,103 The guy's the best criminal attorney in Princeton. 271 00:13:33,229 --> 00:13:34,354 Thanks, but I don't need it. 272 00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,231 I assume you told Inspector Clouseau 273 00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:38,150 that I have a valid prescription for the Vicodin. 274 00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:40,861 Yeah, and I assume you did as well. Did it make a difference? 275 00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:42,112 The guy's pissed! 276 00:13:42,238 --> 00:13:45,157 And with the DEA now treating pain doctors like Colombian... 277 00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:47,868 I'm not a pain doctor, I'm a pain patient. 278 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:51,205 Tell it to your lawyer. 279 00:14:04,719 --> 00:14:08,180 No midline shifts, no bleeds, clots, infarcts. 280 00:14:08,306 --> 00:14:09,806 I don't see any edema, either. 281 00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:11,517 So what do we do now? 282 00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:12,601 An LP. 283 00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:15,521 Even if it's not an STD, a fever points toward some sort of infection. 284 00:14:15,647 --> 00:14:19,441 I'm not sure we can do an LP on a guy his size. 285 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:23,153 What? 286 00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,489 You have to be able to palpate the spine to know where to go. 287 00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:27,157 We could use fluoroscopy to guide us. 288 00:14:27,283 --> 00:14:29,493 He still wouldn't be able to bring his knees up and bend forward 289 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:30,911 in order to open the space between... 290 00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:36,625 George, it's all right, you're in a hospital! 291 00:14:36,751 --> 00:14:38,585 Calm down, man, calm down! 292 00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,379 - Get him out already! - I'm trying! 293 00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:41,547 Come on! 294 00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:46,468 We're gonna get you out! 295 00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:57,396 We still have no idea why he was in the coma to begin with. 296 00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:59,314 Or why he woke up. 297 00:14:59,649 --> 00:15:01,775 It was probably just some sort of head trauma 298 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:02,776 and we missed the swelling 299 00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:05,654 because, well, his head's already swollen. 300 00:15:05,780 --> 00:15:07,906 Bump on the noggin doesn't explain the fever. 301 00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:10,867 An infection made worse by the steroids we gave him for pickwick's does. 302 00:15:10,994 --> 00:15:12,953 He's not worse, he's better. 303 00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:15,956 We just replaced the last MRI you broke. 304 00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:19,001 Referring to the fund-raising funbags by the royal "we" now? 305 00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:20,794 Let me explain cause and effect to you. 306 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:24,006 I specifically told them to skip the boring testing part 307 00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:25,424 and jump right to the dangerous treatment. 308 00:15:25,550 --> 00:15:28,343 You blow stuff up, makes my life miserable, 309 00:15:28,469 --> 00:15:31,054 makes me need to make your life miserable. 310 00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,764 He's telling the truth. 311 00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:40,647 Kids these days, got no respect for other people's property. 312 00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,524 Repairmen cost less than lawyers. 313 00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:46,445 Morbid obesity is a legally defined disability, 314 00:15:46,571 --> 00:15:48,572 which means if we'd denied access to the MRI, 315 00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:52,075 he could have sued us for discrimination as well as malpractice. 316 00:15:52,201 --> 00:15:53,744 This was your idea? 317 00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:54,828 Yeah. 318 00:16:05,173 --> 00:16:08,634 Looks like Cameron's gonna be having a lot more ideas in future. 319 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,553 Who knew that being bloated and bitchy could actually come in handy? 320 00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:13,263 - Shut up. - What if it is hormones? 321 00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:14,514 It's not hormones. 322 00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:15,891 I'm talking about George. 323 00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:18,894 Acute adrenal insufficiency could cause a temporary coma. 324 00:16:19,020 --> 00:16:21,730 A glandular problem would cause his temperature to be low, not high. 325 00:16:21,856 --> 00:16:22,981 Maybe the fever's not related. 326 00:16:23,107 --> 00:16:24,691 If it's not related, there's nothing to talk about. 327 00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:26,735 We should do an ACTH stimulation test 328 00:16:26,861 --> 00:16:28,779 and check his skin for acanthosis nigricans. 329 00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:31,907 Or the fever is related and so are the prostitutes. 330 00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:34,785 We should do a full STD panel and check his genitals for chancres. 331 00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,078 We should do nothing. 332 00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:38,413 Just keep him a couple of days for observation. 333 00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:39,539 If he doesn't get any worse, 334 00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:43,293 it was probably just a hematoma that dissipated on its own. 335 00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,921 Or we do all of the above. 336 00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:48,256 You check his belly for patches. 337 00:16:48,383 --> 00:16:50,050 You check underneath for sores. 338 00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:53,470 And you just sit on your ass. 339 00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:03,313 Acanthosis nigricans is a hyperpigmentation of the skin, 340 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:06,108 usually indicates some sort of hormonal imbalance. 341 00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,151 There's nothing wrong with my hormones. 342 00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:11,154 It's the first thing every doctor I've ever gone to has checked. 343 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,990 Then it's the blood pressure, then it's gotta be diabetes. 344 00:17:14,117 --> 00:17:17,536 They all figure there's gotta be something wrong with me. 345 00:17:17,662 --> 00:17:19,663 You having any problems with your vision? 346 00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:22,666 No, I have nystagmus. I've had it since birth, I'm fine. 347 00:17:22,792 --> 00:17:24,835 You're not fine. You were in a coma for two days. 348 00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:26,044 There's something wrong with you. 349 00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:30,173 Was something wrong with me, now I'm better, now I'd like to go home. 350 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,718 A coma's not like a stomach ache. 351 00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:35,011 You can't just shrug it off and hope it's not anything serious. 352 00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:37,514 My company places a lot of insurance executives. 353 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:42,853 There are over 300,000 deaths caused each year by medical mistakes 354 00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:46,857 and hospital-associated infections. I'll come in for tests. 355 00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:50,527 There are over 400,000 deaths caused by obesity-related illnesses. 356 00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:54,197 The CDC says those figures are a gross overestimation. 357 00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:57,576 George, you ever notice you don't see a lot of obese old men? 358 00:17:57,702 --> 00:17:59,828 If I'm gonna have a heart attack, 359 00:17:59,954 --> 00:18:05,542 I would rather it be caused by a perfect pan-roasted ris de veau 360 00:18:06,169 --> 00:18:10,630 than running 26 miles for no reason other than to brag that I can do it. 361 00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:15,010 Or to have an MRI machine break in the middle of a procedure! 362 00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:16,470 We're sorry about that. 363 00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:18,722 It was the only way to rule out a stroke or brain hemorrhage. 364 00:18:18,848 --> 00:18:22,100 And now that you have, when can I go? 365 00:18:31,027 --> 00:18:32,736 It's probably her mom. 366 00:18:32,862 --> 00:18:36,031 I bet she's huge. She's from the Midwest. 367 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:38,784 Since when do you eat beets? 368 00:18:38,910 --> 00:18:39,951 Since I was five. 369 00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:42,287 And who are we talking about? You know, just in case you need me 370 00:18:42,413 --> 00:18:44,456 to chime in and tell you you're a lunatic at some point? 371 00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:48,043 Cameron. She's lying, destroying hospital equipment, 372 00:18:48,169 --> 00:18:49,461 telling Cuddy off. 373 00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:51,880 I gotta find out where she got the Fat Scratch Fever. 374 00:18:52,006 --> 00:18:54,216 Yeah, you definitely better get to the bottom of that. 375 00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:55,926 I heard Cuddy gave you the name of a lawyer. 376 00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:59,930 Or it could just be pity. She feels guilty about being born beautiful. 377 00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:02,682 So she overcompensates by being nice to ugly people. 378 00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,684 Would explain why she gets along so well with you. 379 00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:07,395 From what I hear, the patient reminds her of you, not me. 380 00:19:07,522 --> 00:19:08,355 Call the lawyer. 381 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,690 Cameron sees a clump of dirt and she thinks of me. 382 00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:14,778 Or a lump of something else. You're a lunatic. Call the lawyer. 383 00:19:18,199 --> 00:19:19,991 - Very mature. - You started it. 384 00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:23,036 Skin exam and ACTH stimulation test were both normal. 385 00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,205 He has nystagmus but it's congenital. 386 00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:26,665 No way it's related to the coma. 387 00:19:26,791 --> 00:19:29,960 You say, "No way," I say... Yeah, no way. 388 00:19:30,086 --> 00:19:32,420 Blood and urine were negative for chlamydia, herpes, and syphilis. 389 00:19:32,547 --> 00:19:34,297 Looks like we got ourselves a mystery. 390 00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:36,842 Not for long. He wants to be discharged. 391 00:19:36,968 --> 00:19:39,219 Oh, sure. Places to go, people to eat. 392 00:19:39,345 --> 00:19:40,428 He insists his chance of dying 393 00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:41,680 from a hospital-acquired infection 394 00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,932 is greater than him dying from whatever caused his coma. 395 00:19:44,058 --> 00:19:48,103 Did you tell him that statistics also say that he's a big, fat idiot? 396 00:19:48,229 --> 00:19:50,105 - Yeah, I did. - He's not backing down. 397 00:19:50,231 --> 00:19:52,065 He says if we don't discharge him, he'll leave AMA. 398 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:55,652 Selectively rational, stubborn, uncooperative, 399 00:19:55,778 --> 00:19:57,571 maybe you ought to check his leg. 400 00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:02,826 Do you see what he did there? The patient's like me. 401 00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:04,744 The patient's three mes. 402 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,746 If I were him... 403 00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:12,919 Maybe it's not such a mystery after all. 404 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:23,930 Enjoying your Salisbury steak? 405 00:20:24,056 --> 00:20:25,891 Putting chopped parsley in a hamburger 406 00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:28,101 does not a Salisbury steak make. 407 00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:31,313 You must be Dr. House. 408 00:20:31,772 --> 00:20:36,234 And you must be full of baloney. A lot of it. 409 00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:39,696 Right. Fat joke. Always fun. 410 00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,823 The only people you can still make fun of. 411 00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:44,576 And Christians. Oh, and black people. 412 00:20:45,328 --> 00:20:47,913 No one in their right mind comes out of a coma 413 00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:50,290 and immediately asks to go home with an unknown condition, 414 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,167 which means that either you're not in your right mind 415 00:20:52,293 --> 00:20:53,710 or it's not an unknown condition. 416 00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:55,962 So, what is it? You tried to off yourself? 417 00:20:56,088 --> 00:21:00,133 You figure I'm fat, therefore I hate myself. 418 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,761 Yeah, that's a huge leap of logic. 419 00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:06,139 I don't wanna die. I just don't wanna be here. 420 00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:08,516 Then it's a condition you've already had diagnosed, 421 00:21:08,643 --> 00:21:10,185 or it's something you know you've inherited. 422 00:21:10,311 --> 00:21:12,687 Let's see, your stomach has deep-seated feelings 423 00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:14,147 of abandonment written all over it, 424 00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:16,274 which points toward sexual abuse. 425 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:20,362 While a fear of hospitals, that points to a more specific traumatic event. 426 00:21:20,488 --> 00:21:24,950 So I'm gonna say, your mom in the hospital with a candlestick. 427 00:21:25,076 --> 00:21:28,328 And by candlestick, of course, I mean inherited OTC deficiency. 428 00:21:28,454 --> 00:21:31,748 My parents are both alive and well and living in Boca Raton. 429 00:21:31,874 --> 00:21:33,833 Thyrotoxic periodic paralysis? 430 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,335 I have no idea what that is. 431 00:21:35,461 --> 00:21:37,754 - Leukoencephalopathy. - Will you stop! 432 00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:41,841 If I knew what was wrong, I would tell you. 433 00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:44,844 I'm not an imbecile, and I'm not miserable. 434 00:21:46,764 --> 00:21:48,515 I'm just overweight. 435 00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:54,813 What? 436 00:21:55,356 --> 00:21:56,356 When? 437 00:21:58,776 --> 00:22:00,360 To be continued. 438 00:22:25,302 --> 00:22:26,553 What are you doing here? 439 00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:28,888 Executing a search of the premises. 440 00:22:29,015 --> 00:22:31,850 When you... When you got bailed out 441 00:22:31,976 --> 00:22:34,853 before we could get a judge to approve this, 442 00:22:36,105 --> 00:22:38,857 I almost didn't bother. 443 00:22:38,983 --> 00:22:42,944 I thought for sure you'd come straight home and throw everything out. 444 00:22:43,070 --> 00:22:47,323 Rookie mistake. Never underestimate the stupidity of an addict. 445 00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:52,954 There's gotta be over 600 Vicodin in here. 446 00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,874 Which most DAs would say proves intent to traffic. 447 00:22:56,000 --> 00:23:00,128 Even if all you really intended was to simply be wasted 24/7 448 00:23:00,254 --> 00:23:01,379 while practicing medicine. 449 00:23:01,505 --> 00:23:04,340 In case you hadn't noticed, those are prescription bottles. 450 00:23:04,467 --> 00:23:07,052 I'm not an expert on linguistics per se, 451 00:23:07,178 --> 00:23:10,180 but I think that means they were prescribed. 452 00:23:13,017 --> 00:23:14,434 All these were legally prescribed 453 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,603 to a man who's in constant pain 454 00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:17,854 but never misses a day of work? 455 00:23:17,980 --> 00:23:20,565 Has it ever occurred to you that's why I don't miss a day? 456 00:23:20,691 --> 00:23:24,152 Yeah. Yeah, crossed my mind. Among other things. 457 00:23:24,278 --> 00:23:28,406 Like what an unprofessional, unethical, arrogant ass you are. 458 00:23:30,367 --> 00:23:32,869 Because if you're unprofessional in one area, 459 00:23:32,995 --> 00:23:34,704 it only makes sense. 460 00:23:35,998 --> 00:23:40,794 Now maybe just a few of these are in someone else's name. 461 00:23:42,171 --> 00:23:44,130 Forged prescription, 462 00:23:44,256 --> 00:23:47,926 or just, um, swiped from the pharmacy when nobody's looking. 463 00:23:50,596 --> 00:23:55,141 No, but, well, you wouldn't do that. Right? 464 00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:05,735 Send him home. 465 00:24:05,861 --> 00:24:07,487 Why? You think he's healthy? 466 00:24:07,613 --> 00:24:09,030 Either I'm right, 467 00:24:09,156 --> 00:24:11,866 he knows what's wrong, he's just too stubborn to admit it, 468 00:24:11,992 --> 00:24:13,952 or I was right and it's pickwick's. 469 00:24:14,078 --> 00:24:15,912 The treatment just had a delayed effect. 470 00:24:16,038 --> 00:24:17,914 You don't have delayed effects to oxygen. 471 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:19,541 And Pickwick's doesn't explain the fever. 472 00:24:19,667 --> 00:24:21,751 Being engulfed in an electric blanket of blubber 473 00:24:21,877 --> 00:24:23,002 could explain the fever. 474 00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:25,421 Yesterday you insisted we keep him here because of the fever. 475 00:24:25,548 --> 00:24:27,006 We have no idea what's wrong with the guy. 476 00:24:27,133 --> 00:24:29,425 For all we know he could be dead in 12 hours. 477 00:24:29,552 --> 00:24:31,261 He does not want our help. 478 00:24:31,929 --> 00:24:33,471 Which means he doesn't want your help. 479 00:24:33,597 --> 00:24:36,474 He's obviously just rationalizing. And so are you! 480 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:37,934 You would never give up this easy 481 00:24:38,060 --> 00:24:41,646 if you weren't so busy dealing with your own personal problems. 482 00:24:41,772 --> 00:24:43,773 Send him home. 483 00:24:43,899 --> 00:24:45,900 What did you tell that cop? 484 00:24:46,026 --> 00:24:48,319 - Nothing. - Nothing as in nothing? 485 00:24:48,445 --> 00:24:49,988 Or as in nothing that could cause him to think 486 00:24:50,114 --> 00:24:51,614 I have a stash in my apartment? 487 00:24:51,740 --> 00:24:54,659 He called to see if I prescribed the pills, I said yes. That's all. 488 00:24:54,785 --> 00:24:56,619 - Obviously not. - What happened? 489 00:24:56,745 --> 00:24:59,914 He searched my house, found a buttload of pills. 490 00:25:01,041 --> 00:25:02,458 Guy's gotta be prepared for a rainy day. 491 00:25:02,585 --> 00:25:04,961 Last I checked pharmacies were still open when it rained. 492 00:25:05,087 --> 00:25:07,589 And because I never know when you're gonna be in one of your moods 493 00:25:07,715 --> 00:25:09,799 - and cut me off. - Oh, it's my fault. 494 00:25:09,925 --> 00:25:11,384 I'm not the one who talked to the cop. 495 00:25:11,510 --> 00:25:14,470 Well, I'm not the one who put a thermometer in his rectum. 496 00:25:14,597 --> 00:25:18,057 So stop yelling at me and start talking to your lawyer. 497 00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:23,521 Is there someone who can check on you? 498 00:25:23,647 --> 00:25:24,606 Oh, don't worry. 499 00:25:24,732 --> 00:25:27,859 There's gonna be a whole crew of carpenters in my bedroom 500 00:25:27,985 --> 00:25:29,861 for the next week at least. 501 00:25:30,446 --> 00:25:34,657 You know, there's an Overeaters Anonymous meeting here at the hospital. 502 00:25:34,783 --> 00:25:37,911 If I wanted to jump out of airplanes or climb Mount Everest, 503 00:25:38,037 --> 00:25:40,663 would you be telling me to go to Daredevils Anonymous? 504 00:25:40,789 --> 00:25:42,916 I would be worried about you just like I am now. 505 00:25:43,042 --> 00:25:44,167 Don't be. 506 00:25:44,293 --> 00:25:45,877 I enjoy food. 507 00:25:46,378 --> 00:25:50,006 I like cooking it, I like looking at it, I like smelling it, 508 00:25:50,132 --> 00:25:52,508 and I especially like eating it. 509 00:25:53,344 --> 00:25:56,971 Listen, whatever happens is gonna happen. 510 00:25:57,932 --> 00:26:01,351 Ultimately it's all out of our control anyway. 511 00:26:01,477 --> 00:26:02,727 Why doesn't that philosophy apply 512 00:26:02,853 --> 00:26:06,564 to medical mistakes and hospital-acquired infections as well? 513 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,860 I'm a complicated man, Dr. Cameron. 514 00:26:11,904 --> 00:26:14,989 But don't worry, I plan on staying that way for a long time. 515 00:26:15,115 --> 00:26:16,658 Wait, wait, let us take you all the way outside. 516 00:26:16,784 --> 00:26:17,992 I'm fine. 517 00:26:18,118 --> 00:26:20,411 It doesn't matter, it's hospital rules. 518 00:26:20,537 --> 00:26:23,665 Oh, screw the rules. I've been on my back for four days. 519 00:26:23,791 --> 00:26:25,208 I need the exercise, right? 520 00:26:25,334 --> 00:26:27,085 George, come on, let us just take you to the taxi. 521 00:26:27,211 --> 00:26:31,506 Don't worry, I may not be able to climb Everest, but I can walk, okay? 522 00:26:31,632 --> 00:26:33,925 - George... - Now enough already. 523 00:26:41,183 --> 00:26:43,142 George, are you all right? 524 00:26:48,065 --> 00:26:50,775 George? You all right? George? 525 00:26:59,201 --> 00:27:01,202 Disorientation and loss of balance 526 00:27:01,328 --> 00:27:03,621 could mean a neurofibromatosis. 527 00:27:03,747 --> 00:27:05,039 - Where's Chase? - Don't know. 528 00:27:05,165 --> 00:27:07,667 Haven't seen him since you told him to sit on his ass yesterday. 529 00:27:07,793 --> 00:27:09,252 Interesting. 530 00:27:09,378 --> 00:27:11,796 NF2 is also inherited, which means I was right. 531 00:27:11,922 --> 00:27:12,880 You kept saying it was pickwick's. 532 00:27:13,007 --> 00:27:14,799 Between the first pickwick's and the second pickwick's, 533 00:27:14,925 --> 00:27:15,758 I said it was inherited. 534 00:27:15,884 --> 00:27:17,927 Whatever. NF2 doesn't explain fever. 535 00:27:18,053 --> 00:27:19,804 I think we should focus on the coma and the fever. 536 00:27:19,930 --> 00:27:22,140 Why? The disorientation and loss of balance are more recent. 537 00:27:22,266 --> 00:27:23,516 The coma was the most severe symptom. 538 00:27:23,642 --> 00:27:26,894 But he's not in the coma anymore and he is disoriented. 539 00:27:27,021 --> 00:27:28,771 No, he's not. 540 00:27:28,897 --> 00:27:32,317 We have a rather large piece of tempered glass that begs to differ. 541 00:27:32,443 --> 00:27:35,028 I just mean it's not connected. 542 00:27:35,154 --> 00:27:36,487 You don't know that. 543 00:27:36,613 --> 00:27:37,447 Yeah, I do. 544 00:27:37,573 --> 00:27:38,740 How could you possibly know... 545 00:27:38,866 --> 00:27:40,867 Because I did it! 546 00:27:44,371 --> 00:27:46,956 I didn't think he should be discharged, 547 00:27:47,082 --> 00:27:49,834 so I gave him three grams of phenytoin. 548 00:27:50,127 --> 00:27:51,627 I wasn't gonna just let him leave. 549 00:27:51,754 --> 00:27:54,380 But you were okay with him crashing through a glass wall? 550 00:27:54,506 --> 00:27:57,258 I tried to keep him in the wheelchair, but he's tough to stop. 551 00:27:57,384 --> 00:27:59,302 Nice audible, Peyton. 552 00:28:00,471 --> 00:28:02,055 So, what do we do now? 553 00:28:02,181 --> 00:28:05,058 Discharge report says he didn't eat his breakfast. 554 00:28:05,184 --> 00:28:07,935 Humpty Dumpty didn't get to be the size of all the king's horses 555 00:28:08,062 --> 00:28:09,937 by skipping the most important meal of the day. 556 00:28:10,064 --> 00:28:12,774 What causes coma, fever, and loss of appetite? 557 00:28:12,900 --> 00:28:15,193 It can't be Chagas', he's never been outside the country. 558 00:28:15,319 --> 00:28:16,194 But his stomach has. 559 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:18,738 The food we eat no longer comes from America's heartland. 560 00:28:18,864 --> 00:28:21,491 It comes from South America's deforested jungle land 561 00:28:21,617 --> 00:28:24,160 where lettuce now grows and lettuce pickers now poop. 562 00:28:24,286 --> 00:28:25,495 Get a sample of his CSF 563 00:28:25,621 --> 00:28:28,748 before the bugs that are now feasting on his brain move on to dessert. 564 00:28:28,874 --> 00:28:32,043 How are we gonna do that? He's too big to do an LP. 565 00:28:32,878 --> 00:28:34,962 So go straight to the source. 566 00:28:36,757 --> 00:28:39,592 You wanna drill a hole in my head? 567 00:28:39,718 --> 00:28:40,802 It's the only way. 568 00:28:40,928 --> 00:28:43,846 It's gotta be something other than a parasite. 569 00:28:43,972 --> 00:28:48,309 I buy my produce at the best market in town and I always wash it. 570 00:28:48,435 --> 00:28:50,311 Leafy vegetables can suck contaminated water 571 00:28:50,437 --> 00:28:51,938 through their roots right into the plant. 572 00:28:52,064 --> 00:28:53,689 You could have washed them in chlorine 573 00:28:53,816 --> 00:28:55,608 and it still wouldn't have mattered. 574 00:28:55,734 --> 00:28:58,319 Then other people would be sick as well. 575 00:28:58,445 --> 00:29:00,988 The parasites could have been on only a few items, 576 00:29:01,115 --> 00:29:02,949 or maybe they just didn't eat as much as you did. 577 00:29:03,075 --> 00:29:05,827 It's always about my weight, isn't it? 578 00:29:05,953 --> 00:29:08,496 Why can't you people come up with one theory... 579 00:29:08,622 --> 00:29:09,956 This one fits, George. 580 00:29:10,082 --> 00:29:14,293 It explains your coma, your fever, your loss of appetite... 581 00:29:19,258 --> 00:29:22,051 And the disorientation? 582 00:29:23,137 --> 00:29:24,554 It's all explained. 583 00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:26,889 And if we don't treat it while it's still in the acute stage, 584 00:29:27,015 --> 00:29:28,057 it'll be too late. 585 00:29:28,183 --> 00:29:31,352 It could go on to infect your heart, intestines, esophagus... 586 00:29:37,651 --> 00:29:40,194 This is what I get for eating salad. 587 00:29:47,536 --> 00:29:48,453 Suction. 588 00:29:48,579 --> 00:29:49,704 Suction. 589 00:29:49,830 --> 00:29:51,205 Aspirator. 590 00:29:59,923 --> 00:30:01,424 Your turn. 591 00:30:03,635 --> 00:30:04,719 Irrigation. 592 00:30:05,888 --> 00:30:07,054 Sponge. 593 00:30:07,181 --> 00:30:08,473 What did you do? 594 00:30:08,599 --> 00:30:09,599 Nothing. Why, what's wrong? 595 00:30:09,725 --> 00:30:11,809 I can't see. 596 00:30:11,935 --> 00:30:13,269 Vision's blurry or you've lost... 597 00:30:13,395 --> 00:30:15,062 I didn't lose it, you took it from me! 598 00:30:15,189 --> 00:30:16,856 - George, calm down. - I can't see! 599 00:30:16,982 --> 00:30:18,399 Give me some lorazepam! 600 00:30:18,525 --> 00:30:20,318 - What did you do to me? - Hold still! 601 00:30:20,444 --> 00:30:21,569 - George! George! - What's going on? 602 00:30:21,695 --> 00:30:24,614 - No. No. Calm down! - What did you do to me? 603 00:30:26,700 --> 00:30:29,577 There's no inflammation in the optic nerve and his retina's intact. 604 00:30:29,703 --> 00:30:31,913 The blindness has to have been caused by something in his brain. 605 00:30:32,039 --> 00:30:34,081 And not surprisingly there was no sign of Chagas' 606 00:30:34,208 --> 00:30:36,042 or any other parasites in his CSF. 607 00:30:36,168 --> 00:30:38,336 So we've ruled out his parents, 608 00:30:38,462 --> 00:30:40,713 prostitutes, the arugula. Means either... 609 00:30:40,839 --> 00:30:42,131 I took the sample from the prefrontal. 610 00:30:42,257 --> 00:30:44,217 I was never anywhere near his visual cortex. 611 00:30:44,343 --> 00:30:46,928 Or you missed a tumor on the MRI. 612 00:30:47,054 --> 00:30:48,930 Not a chance, the MRI was clean. 613 00:30:49,056 --> 00:30:50,806 - You mind? - Where are you going? 614 00:30:50,933 --> 00:30:52,558 To get a $400 butt plug. 615 00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:53,601 What about George? 616 00:30:53,727 --> 00:30:56,103 He's gonna have to get his own. Come on. 617 00:30:56,230 --> 00:30:57,563 Let's see if we can get this thing figured out 618 00:30:57,689 --> 00:30:59,440 by the time we get to the elevator. 619 00:30:59,566 --> 00:31:00,816 It could be MS. 620 00:31:00,943 --> 00:31:02,652 Would explain the coma, the blindness, 621 00:31:02,778 --> 00:31:03,945 loss of balance, and the fever. 622 00:31:04,071 --> 00:31:05,947 Could also explain his lack of concern for his health. 623 00:31:06,073 --> 00:31:07,490 MS can cause excessive cheerfulness. 624 00:31:07,616 --> 00:31:09,116 Yeah, he's a delight. 625 00:31:09,243 --> 00:31:11,327 You don't get to MS with coma as the first symptom. 626 00:31:11,453 --> 00:31:14,997 Blindness plus coma says diabetes. Just in time. 627 00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:18,000 No. Blood sugar, urine dip stick and hemoglobin A1c are normal. 628 00:31:18,126 --> 00:31:19,710 Were normal when you tested. 629 00:31:19,836 --> 00:31:20,836 He's been in and out of a coma, 630 00:31:20,963 --> 00:31:22,547 whatever's going on is waxing and waning, 631 00:31:22,673 --> 00:31:24,507 unlike his pants size, which only waxes. 632 00:31:24,633 --> 00:31:27,176 Which also points to diabetes. Test him again. 633 00:31:27,302 --> 00:31:29,679 And this time add a glucose tolerance test and an HEC. 634 00:31:29,805 --> 00:31:31,389 We already have a CSF sample, 635 00:31:31,515 --> 00:31:34,058 we might as well check it for proteins to rule out MS first. 636 00:31:34,184 --> 00:31:36,519 Agreed. Except for the part about doing it first. 637 00:31:36,645 --> 00:31:37,687 Where are you going? 638 00:31:37,813 --> 00:31:40,273 The butt plug was my way of saying, "Mind your own business." 639 00:31:40,399 --> 00:31:42,441 Apparently too subtle. 640 00:31:42,568 --> 00:31:45,278 George, all it is is sugar water, I promise. 641 00:31:45,404 --> 00:31:48,030 Just because I'm overweight doesn't make me diabetic! 642 00:31:48,156 --> 00:31:50,199 You tested me, everybody's tested me. 643 00:31:50,325 --> 00:31:52,076 Sometimes the blood sugar levels can fluctuate, 644 00:31:52,202 --> 00:31:53,369 make it difficult to diagnose. 645 00:31:53,495 --> 00:31:56,789 You stuck a needle in my brain and 10 seconds later I was blind! 646 00:31:56,915 --> 00:31:58,833 How is that difficult to diagnose? 647 00:31:58,959 --> 00:32:01,252 Who the hell knows what else you guys done to me? 648 00:32:01,378 --> 00:32:03,087 - I should have never come here! - You didn't come here, 649 00:32:03,213 --> 00:32:06,048 you were brought here because you were in a coma and barely alive. 650 00:32:06,174 --> 00:32:09,510 We didn't do that to you, you need to let us figure out what did. 651 00:32:12,222 --> 00:32:13,848 For someone who insists he enjoys life as much as you do, 652 00:32:13,974 --> 00:32:15,850 you certainly don't seem willing to do much to prolong it. 653 00:32:15,976 --> 00:32:17,351 Yeah, 654 00:32:17,477 --> 00:32:22,023 because I don't agree with the brilliant doctors, suddenly I'm suicidal! 655 00:32:22,149 --> 00:32:24,442 Refusing to cooperate with us does not make you suicidal, 656 00:32:24,568 --> 00:32:25,693 it makes you an idiot. 657 00:32:25,819 --> 00:32:28,321 You think we want to see you blind or in a coma? 658 00:32:31,867 --> 00:32:33,451 I've been fat all my life. 659 00:32:34,578 --> 00:32:37,663 I've only been sick for the past few days. 660 00:32:39,124 --> 00:32:42,293 You look for a disease that has nothing to do with my size, 661 00:32:42,419 --> 00:32:43,919 and I will help you. 662 00:32:45,589 --> 00:32:49,050 Otherwise, leave me alone. 663 00:32:52,095 --> 00:32:57,350 Speeding, DUI, reckless driving, 664 00:32:57,476 --> 00:33:01,354 resisting arrest, possession of a class three narcotic. 665 00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:02,480 And now it looks like they've added 666 00:33:02,606 --> 00:33:06,359 another possession with intent to traffic charge as well. 667 00:33:07,694 --> 00:33:09,487 They found some pills at your house. 668 00:33:09,613 --> 00:33:11,781 All of which I had a prescription for. 669 00:33:11,907 --> 00:33:12,823 That's a lot of pills. 670 00:33:12,949 --> 00:33:14,825 I'm in a lot of pain. 671 00:33:14,993 --> 00:33:18,287 This is all because some cop came into the clinic, 672 00:33:18,413 --> 00:33:21,207 I was rude to him, this is his way of getting back at me. 673 00:33:21,333 --> 00:33:22,208 You've made it pretty easy. 674 00:33:22,334 --> 00:33:27,129 His insane reaction to a simple rectal thermometer reading 675 00:33:27,255 --> 00:33:30,841 probably says a lot more about his mother than it says about me. 676 00:33:31,677 --> 00:33:34,637 I'm inclined to think your particular charm 677 00:33:35,555 --> 00:33:39,141 may not be immediately appreciated by a jury. 678 00:33:39,267 --> 00:33:41,018 I'm not interested in a plea bargain. 679 00:33:41,144 --> 00:33:43,521 It's your best bet to make this go away. 680 00:33:43,647 --> 00:33:46,315 There is no this. There's a him. 681 00:33:46,441 --> 00:33:49,235 The only thing I'm guilty of is humiliating a bully. 682 00:33:49,361 --> 00:33:51,821 I wasn't speeding, I wasn't impaired, I didn't resist, 683 00:33:51,947 --> 00:33:53,781 and I certainly was not distributing narcotics 684 00:33:53,907 --> 00:33:54,907 to anyone but myself, 685 00:33:55,033 --> 00:33:57,159 because I need those narcotics. 686 00:33:57,953 --> 00:33:59,412 Five grand retainer. 687 00:33:59,538 --> 00:34:02,915 If we end up going to trial, there'll be another 30 due before the first day. 688 00:34:03,041 --> 00:34:06,001 My hourly is 450. That work for you? 689 00:34:10,799 --> 00:34:12,717 What'd your lawyer say? 690 00:34:13,468 --> 00:34:16,095 I looked up butt plug in a legal dictionary. What'd he say? 691 00:34:16,221 --> 00:34:18,639 That a smile like mine can't lose. 692 00:34:19,433 --> 00:34:20,266 What did the tests say? 693 00:34:20,392 --> 00:34:23,436 You were right about MS. No myelin basic proteins in his CSF. 694 00:34:23,562 --> 00:34:24,812 - What about diabetes? - Don't know. 695 00:34:24,938 --> 00:34:26,021 He says we only think it's diabetes 696 00:34:26,148 --> 00:34:29,024 because of his weight, won't let us test him. 697 00:34:43,832 --> 00:34:47,334 So, you would rather be a blind invalid than admit the fact 698 00:34:47,461 --> 00:34:50,171 that maybe you might have a little problem with overeating. 699 00:34:50,297 --> 00:34:51,338 By a little problem, of course, 700 00:34:51,465 --> 00:34:53,132 I mean you've eaten yourself half to death. 701 00:34:53,258 --> 00:34:55,593 And you would rather let me die than consider the fact 702 00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:58,929 that whatever is wrong with me has nothing to do with my weight. 703 00:34:59,055 --> 00:35:01,390 I go where the symptoms tell me to go. 704 00:35:01,516 --> 00:35:03,476 And right now they're asking why this stuff 705 00:35:03,602 --> 00:35:05,519 is the first thing you've ever refused to swallow. 706 00:35:05,645 --> 00:35:07,688 I am not diabetic. 707 00:35:07,814 --> 00:35:11,609 Grocery stores giving away medical degrees with the free turkeys now? 708 00:35:11,735 --> 00:35:13,527 The sooner you drink this, the sooner I get to go waste my time 709 00:35:13,653 --> 00:35:14,570 with something else. 710 00:35:14,696 --> 00:35:16,322 Get the hell off of me! 711 00:35:16,448 --> 00:35:19,033 No dessert till you've finished your dinner! 712 00:35:20,577 --> 00:35:22,036 George, just drink it! 713 00:35:22,162 --> 00:35:23,162 Nurse! 714 00:35:23,288 --> 00:35:25,998 Get this jackass off of me! 715 00:35:26,124 --> 00:35:27,708 What the hell is going on? 716 00:35:27,834 --> 00:35:29,126 Just trying to force a horse to... 717 00:35:31,338 --> 00:35:32,546 Let go! 718 00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:55,694 What's going on? 719 00:35:55,821 --> 00:35:59,615 Get X-rays of his hands. Then bronc him, do a sputum cytology 720 00:35:59,741 --> 00:36:02,159 and check his CSF for anti-hu antibodies. 721 00:36:02,285 --> 00:36:03,202 How are we gonna get him to do all that, 722 00:36:03,328 --> 00:36:04,995 we can't even get him to drink a bottle of sugar water? 723 00:36:05,121 --> 00:36:07,581 Tell him that lung cancer is in no way connected to obesity. 724 00:36:07,707 --> 00:36:10,000 You don't think he'll realize we're lying? 725 00:36:10,126 --> 00:36:12,461 You're not. Lung cancer's got nothing to do with obesity. 726 00:36:12,587 --> 00:36:14,129 I meant about him having lung cancer. 727 00:36:14,256 --> 00:36:16,465 You didn't notice his fingers? 728 00:36:16,591 --> 00:36:17,675 I noticed they were fat. 729 00:36:17,801 --> 00:36:19,134 You should have pissed him off, 730 00:36:19,261 --> 00:36:20,094 he would have grabbed you. 731 00:36:20,220 --> 00:36:21,262 Then you would have felt the bones, 732 00:36:21,388 --> 00:36:24,181 they're not just fat, they're clubbed. 733 00:36:57,007 --> 00:36:58,549 George, 734 00:37:00,510 --> 00:37:01,427 it's me. 735 00:37:06,057 --> 00:37:08,017 Your tests were positive. 736 00:37:09,603 --> 00:37:12,146 You have a small cell lung carcinoma. 737 00:37:12,272 --> 00:37:14,481 It caused a paraneoplastic neurologic syndrome, 738 00:37:14,608 --> 00:37:17,443 which in turn caused your blindness and coma. 739 00:37:17,819 --> 00:37:20,487 The cancer's metastasized to your lymph nodes. 740 00:37:21,781 --> 00:37:23,240 It's inoperable, 741 00:37:23,366 --> 00:37:26,118 but there are radiation treatments available. 742 00:37:28,788 --> 00:37:31,457 They might give you a few more months. 743 00:37:35,545 --> 00:37:37,046 I never smoked. 744 00:37:51,061 --> 00:37:52,394 C'est la vie. 745 00:38:29,349 --> 00:38:30,724 You were right. 746 00:38:32,686 --> 00:38:35,020 - So was he. - He said, "C'est la vie." 747 00:38:35,146 --> 00:38:36,605 He's a complicated man. 748 00:38:36,731 --> 00:38:37,856 What about you? 749 00:38:39,025 --> 00:38:40,526 What are you gonna do about your problem? 750 00:38:40,652 --> 00:38:42,444 Nothing. Just got a call from my lawyer. 751 00:38:42,570 --> 00:38:44,905 He gave the DA copies of my prescriptions. 752 00:38:45,031 --> 00:38:46,573 Soon as they confirm they're bona fides, 753 00:38:46,700 --> 00:38:49,451 they're gonna drop the possession, DUI and resisting arrest. 754 00:38:49,577 --> 00:38:51,745 Soon as I pay my $85 speeding ticket 755 00:38:51,871 --> 00:38:53,455 and the impound fine, I get my bike back. 756 00:38:53,581 --> 00:38:54,707 I guess that's good. 757 00:38:54,833 --> 00:38:56,709 - You guess? - No, it's good. 758 00:38:59,129 --> 00:39:01,672 You get to keep going like you always have. 759 00:39:04,175 --> 00:39:06,385 All right, I give up. Who was it? 760 00:39:06,511 --> 00:39:08,345 Who in your family had the weight problem? 761 00:39:08,471 --> 00:39:09,930 You think I can only care about a patient 762 00:39:10,056 --> 00:39:11,890 if I know someone else who's been through the same thing? 763 00:39:12,017 --> 00:39:13,308 You care for everybody. 764 00:39:13,435 --> 00:39:15,602 You only lie and stand up to Cuddy for a few. 765 00:39:15,729 --> 00:39:17,855 You lie for everybody and only care about a few. 766 00:39:17,981 --> 00:39:19,523 You're avoiding the question. 767 00:39:19,649 --> 00:39:21,942 I like damaged people, remember? 768 00:39:22,402 --> 00:39:24,319 It explains everything I do. 769 00:39:24,446 --> 00:39:25,696 Almost everything. 770 00:39:28,450 --> 00:39:29,950 It wasn't you, was it? 771 00:39:30,910 --> 00:39:33,203 - Does it matter? - Nope, but it'd be interesting. 772 00:39:33,329 --> 00:39:34,371 Sorry to disappoint you, 773 00:39:34,497 --> 00:39:37,624 but sometimes the answers just aren't that simple. 774 00:39:42,756 --> 00:39:44,631 I know he can be a real ass, 775 00:39:44,758 --> 00:39:47,092 and he has no problem lying when it serves him, 776 00:39:47,218 --> 00:39:48,802 but he's not lying about the pain. 777 00:39:48,928 --> 00:39:52,222 He needs the medication, which is why I prescribed it. 778 00:39:52,348 --> 00:39:53,182 All of it. 779 00:39:53,308 --> 00:39:56,518 Well, I see a lot of cases 780 00:39:57,937 --> 00:40:01,774 where people who have real injuries end up getting addicted. 781 00:40:03,318 --> 00:40:08,322 And then, well, things kind of spiral out of control. 782 00:40:08,448 --> 00:40:11,241 And lives get ruined, and not just their own. 783 00:40:14,996 --> 00:40:17,539 I don't know what else to tell you. 784 00:40:28,593 --> 00:40:29,593 What about these? 785 00:40:29,719 --> 00:40:31,470 This is getting... 786 00:40:31,596 --> 00:40:33,847 If it's got my name on it, it's a legit scrip. 787 00:40:33,973 --> 00:40:35,516 - You sure? - Yeah. 788 00:40:36,059 --> 00:40:38,185 Because the signatures on these 789 00:40:38,311 --> 00:40:41,688 look a little different than the signatures on those. 790 00:40:50,448 --> 00:40:51,323 You look surprised. 791 00:40:51,449 --> 00:40:53,075 No, I'm just... 792 00:40:54,244 --> 00:40:58,705 I hadn't thought about it. I do sign my name differently sometimes. 793 00:41:03,753 --> 00:41:05,587 - Are you sure? - Yeah. 794 00:41:05,713 --> 00:41:07,798 I just, I guess get bored signing it the same way. 795 00:41:07,924 --> 00:41:10,759 You know what they say about doctors' handwriting. 796 00:41:11,094 --> 00:41:14,429 I'm gonna give you a moment 797 00:41:15,723 --> 00:41:18,934 to reconsider that answer. 798 00:41:19,102 --> 00:41:23,522 Because if you are, for some reason, mistaken, 799 00:41:26,109 --> 00:41:30,279 we will find out, and that will not be good for you. 800 00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:32,906 Or Dr. House. 801 00:41:34,742 --> 00:41:36,785 I am sure. Absolutely. 802 00:41:40,540 --> 00:41:42,166 All right. 803 00:41:44,586 --> 00:41:46,170 I guess that's it, then. 804 00:41:57,015 --> 00:41:57,973 Thank you for your help. 805 00:41:58,099 --> 00:41:59,683 Okay, no problem.