1
00:01:00,087 --> 00:01:01,746
You can throw a fast one.
2
00:01:11,095 --> 00:01:14,772
How about it, kitten?
What's the chance of a bit tonight?
3
00:01:15,127 --> 00:01:16,982
Oh, why, yes, of course, boys.
4
00:01:17,047 --> 00:01:21,073
I'll leave the front door open,
and you can all troop in and give me a jab.
5
00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:23,280
Not up to it, then?
6
00:01:23,352 --> 00:01:28,021
You innocent, shovel-wielding,
horny-handed sons of the native sod.
7
00:01:28,375 --> 00:01:30,993
Not many people are, munchkin.
8
00:01:31,384 --> 00:01:35,093
Not many people can take the tale
of Patrick Braden...
9
00:01:35,191 --> 00:01:36,882
a.k.a. Saint Kitten...
10
00:01:36,952 --> 00:01:41,108
who strutted the catwalks,
face lit by a halo of flashbulbs...
11
00:01:41,175 --> 00:01:44,656
as, "Oh!" she shrieked,
"I told you, from my best side, darlings."
12
00:01:45,399 --> 00:01:47,668
I was born, you see, munchkin...
13
00:01:47,735 --> 00:01:50,550
in a small town near the Irish border.
14
00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:53,875
I was left in a basket on a certain doorstep...
15
00:01:53,943 --> 00:01:55,885
and only the robins knew why.
16
00:01:56,119 --> 00:01:59,251
Oh, but then,
they knew everybody's business.
17
00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:01,840
Those red-breasted busybodies.
18
00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:06,422
Every secret
behind every lace-curtain window.
19
00:02:25,783 --> 00:02:28,118
Uh-oh, behind you
20
00:02:35,800 --> 00:02:38,003
This looks like trouble
21
00:02:42,487 --> 00:02:43,469
Oh dear!
22
00:02:46,039 --> 00:02:47,119
Let's go
23
00:03:32,023 --> 00:03:35,155
Robins! Would you believe it, Father?
Pecking at the cream.
24
00:03:35,287 --> 00:03:37,708
I suppose it's Christmas morning, after all.
25
00:03:39,095 --> 00:03:40,851
Is your breakfast all right?
26
00:03:42,935 --> 00:03:45,717
Well, I'll get ready for Mass, so. God bless.
27
00:03:47,543 --> 00:03:48,885
God bless.
28
00:03:54,615 --> 00:03:57,004
He hasn't been himself lately, so.
29
00:03:59,063 --> 00:04:03,220
-No, he hasn't been himself at all...
-Since the blonde housekeeper left
30
00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:07,189
The one that looked like the film star...
with the bubble-cut curls
31
00:04:07,416 --> 00:04:09,303
Mitzi Gaynor!
32
00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,388
-Just the job.
-Mr. Steed?
33
00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:24,342
-Cutex coral pink.
-Yes.
34
00:04:25,719 --> 00:04:28,086
What a charming atmosphere you have here.
35
00:04:28,983 --> 00:04:30,674
-Do you mind?
-Not at all.
36
00:04:30,967 --> 00:04:33,301
-Thank you.
-Will you have a love seat?
37
00:04:33,367 --> 00:04:34,928
The love seat? Why not?
38
00:04:37,303 --> 00:04:40,303
Mr. Lovejoy will see you in a moment.
39
00:04:40,375 --> 00:04:42,677
He's just congratulating
one of our happy couples.
40
00:04:42,743 --> 00:04:44,466
-How very encouraging.
-Yes.
41
00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:46,738
Perhaps you'd like a glass of champers?
42
00:04:46,807 --> 00:04:49,196
-Champers? Now you're talking.
-Or...
43
00:04:49,271 --> 00:04:52,883
-a piece of wedding cake?
-No, thank you. I've just had breakfast.
44
00:04:54,231 --> 00:04:55,278
Mr. Steed?
45
00:04:57,751 --> 00:05:00,566
My good shoes!
My good shoes, you little brat!
46
00:05:00,631 --> 00:05:03,380
Do it harder, Mammy.
Teach him not to wear my dress again.
47
00:05:03,448 --> 00:05:05,782
He'll make a disgrace of us? Well, you'll not!
48
00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,221
Do you really have to?
49
00:05:07,288 --> 00:05:10,484
I'll march you up and down the street
and disgrace you in front of the whole town.
50
00:05:10,551 --> 00:05:11,500
Promise?
51
00:05:11,927 --> 00:05:13,902
Hit him with it, Ma!
Give him the brush again!
52
00:05:13,975 --> 00:05:15,884
-Say, "I am not a girl."
-I'm not a girl.
53
00:05:15,959 --> 00:05:18,829
-"I am a boy. I'm not a girl."
-I'm a boy, not a girl.
54
00:05:18,903 --> 00:05:20,049
Say it right.
55
00:05:20,247 --> 00:05:21,262
Make him say it right, Ma.
56
00:05:21,336 --> 00:05:24,597
My heart broke
from the cursed day I ever took you in.
57
00:05:25,847 --> 00:05:28,662
A short one by Gareth Carey,
up along the far wing to Tony Haddon.
58
00:05:28,727 --> 00:05:31,116
Tony Haddon, 40 yards out now, from the....
59
00:05:31,255 --> 00:05:33,426
Off he goes then,
the ball across him towards the center.
60
00:05:33,495 --> 00:05:35,405
And coming, Alfred Whitney.
He's capped there.
61
00:05:35,479 --> 00:05:37,422
Well down over his eyes is Nick Brady.
62
00:05:37,495 --> 00:05:39,121
The ball comes over.
Who's got it? Reid Morgan.
63
00:05:39,191 --> 00:05:40,620
Reid Morgan gets the 35-yard....
64
00:05:40,695 --> 00:05:42,964
Brother Barnabas says he'll try you
on the football team...
65
00:05:43,031 --> 00:05:44,591
and I want you to read this.
66
00:05:44,663 --> 00:05:46,802
Heading high and to the right,
and yes, it is....
67
00:05:46,871 --> 00:05:49,773
It's gone over the bar
for the first goal of the game.
68
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:51,152
Paddy Gardy.
69
00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:56,021
The first goal of the game.
Paddy Gardy took one from this side.
70
00:05:56,087 --> 00:05:59,600
It had a curl on it, and one had to wait
until the umpires gave their decision...
71
00:05:59,671 --> 00:06:01,427
as to whether it was in or not. It was.
72
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:02,772
And I call my mother names.
73
00:06:02,839 --> 00:06:05,589
Well, you know,
you shouldn't do that, my son.
74
00:06:06,135 --> 00:06:07,597
What do you call her?
75
00:06:08,119 --> 00:06:09,199
Hairy Arse.
76
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:14,194
Hairy Arse and Bockedy Hole.
And Cunthooks.
77
00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,502
-Stay where you are! You must not proceed.
-Jesus!
78
00:06:27,576 --> 00:06:31,056
You must not curse.
If you curse, you'll be exterminated.
79
00:06:31,127 --> 00:06:32,075
Holy fuck!
80
00:06:32,151 --> 00:06:34,966
You've been warned, earthling.
Now you must die!
81
00:06:35,031 --> 00:06:36,438
No, Dalek, please.
82
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:46,166
-Sausages, sausages, stay where you are.
-Yes, yes, of course! Please don't shoot!
83
00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:49,491
-Lawrence, come on.
-Not now, I'm busy. I'm busy.
84
00:06:49,655 --> 00:06:51,543
-Come on.
-I'm busy.
85
00:06:53,367 --> 00:06:55,189
Oh, figgly boogles, I'm dead.
86
00:06:55,927 --> 00:06:57,072
Die for Ireland?
87
00:06:57,143 --> 00:06:58,604
I'm sorry, but it appeared to me...
88
00:06:58,679 --> 00:07:00,435
that someone here
had taken leave of their senses.
89
00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:02,259
Are you playing the game or not, Braden?
90
00:07:02,327 --> 00:07:05,905
Me play! Dying for Ireland.
Earthling, stay where you are!
91
00:07:05,975 --> 00:07:08,397
Well, come on, Englishman, a bullet, please.
92
00:07:12,087 --> 00:07:14,640
And next up is the dashing Feely...
93
00:07:14,711 --> 00:07:19,251
sporting a smoking jacket,
fedora hat, and sunglasses by Gucci.
94
00:07:19,479 --> 00:07:20,526
Madam.
95
00:07:25,239 --> 00:07:26,548
The man himself.
96
00:07:28,279 --> 00:07:30,646
-Your mother will be back in a while.
-Oh.
97
00:07:33,079 --> 00:07:35,446
So how's Patrick
and the Braden household?
98
00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:37,680
They're well, Mr. Feely.
99
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:41,234
Especially my mother, wherever she is.
100
00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:45,622
So someone's told you something, Patrick?
101
00:07:45,879 --> 00:07:47,373
They don't have to.
102
00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:50,640
Hairy Arse Braden tells me every day.
103
00:07:50,839 --> 00:07:52,116
Patrick, now....
104
00:07:53,047 --> 00:07:54,509
I'm sorry, Mr. Feely.
105
00:08:02,071 --> 00:08:04,918
You know, I saw her once,
your real mother...
106
00:08:05,655 --> 00:08:07,477
long after the day she left.
107
00:08:08,343 --> 00:08:09,684
It was in London.
108
00:08:11,447 --> 00:08:13,618
I was doing work for Genie McQuillan.
109
00:08:14,743 --> 00:08:16,947
I was going home through Piccadilly...
110
00:08:17,079 --> 00:08:20,340
and there, passing by, was Eily Bergin.
111
00:08:21,079 --> 00:08:23,664
Lovely as the day she left, I swear it to God.
112
00:08:28,663 --> 00:08:30,572
Did you talk to her, Mr. Feely?
113
00:08:30,935 --> 00:08:32,309
What did she say?
114
00:08:32,823 --> 00:08:35,540
I shouted after her, Patrick,
but she didn't hear.
115
00:08:36,631 --> 00:08:38,485
London swallowed her up.
116
00:08:40,503 --> 00:08:42,608
The most beautiful girl in the town.
117
00:08:42,967 --> 00:08:44,822
Biggest city in the world...
118
00:08:45,783 --> 00:08:47,441
it swallowed my mother up.
119
00:08:51,159 --> 00:08:52,752
What about my father, Mr. Feely?
120
00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:56,238
I wouldn't know about that, son.
Things be complicated, you know.
121
00:08:58,743 --> 00:09:00,304
What did she look like?
122
00:09:05,463 --> 00:09:06,892
Mitzi Gaynor, son.
123
00:09:07,191 --> 00:09:09,744
That's who she looked like, Mitzi.
124
00:09:12,695 --> 00:09:13,879
Mitzi Gaynor.
125
00:10:10,935 --> 00:10:14,797
Well, fuck me pink with a hairy arse!
126
00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:29,134
In the name of the Father and the Son
and the Holy Spirit, amen.
127
00:10:43,159 --> 00:10:44,915
You see, once upon a time...
128
00:10:45,911 --> 00:10:48,333
there was a young girl named Eily Bergin...
129
00:10:50,039 --> 00:10:53,301
who looked not unlike
the well-known film star Mitzi Gaynor...
130
00:10:53,719 --> 00:10:56,686
who sang I'm Gonna Wash That Man
Right Outta My Hair.
131
00:10:58,647 --> 00:11:01,647
And she went to London,
the biggest city in the world...
132
00:11:01,815 --> 00:11:03,375
which swallowed her up.
133
00:11:04,791 --> 00:11:06,514
But before she vanished...
134
00:11:07,863 --> 00:11:10,710
I think she worked
as a priest's housekeeper, Father.
135
00:11:11,127 --> 00:11:13,615
But I could be wrong there, couldn't I?
136
00:11:14,007 --> 00:11:16,178
I mean, I could be wrong. After all, I....
137
00:11:26,294 --> 00:11:28,182
All I wanted was her address.
138
00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:32,021
There between the Po
and the Apennines, boys...
139
00:11:32,151 --> 00:11:34,039
the climate is always the same.
140
00:11:35,415 --> 00:11:36,789
The landscape never changes...
141
00:11:36,854 --> 00:11:39,888
and in country like this
you can stop along any road for a moment...
142
00:11:39,959 --> 00:11:43,636
and look at a farmhouse
sitting in the middle of maize and hemp...
143
00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:47,057
and immediately a story is born.
144
00:11:48,215 --> 00:11:50,670
Now, when you're writing your essay for me
this morning...
145
00:11:50,743 --> 00:11:53,132
whatever form it takes is up to you.
146
00:11:53,687 --> 00:11:57,429
It can be called
"I Fought in the Easter Rising"...
147
00:11:59,639 --> 00:12:01,549
"I Was Dracula's Girlfriend"...
148
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:05,297
or even "A Day in the Life of an Old Boot".
149
00:12:07,574 --> 00:12:10,542
You've got one hour, so learn to write.
150
00:12:31,639 --> 00:12:33,013
"God bless us.
151
00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:35,540
"It's yourself"...
152
00:12:36,534 --> 00:12:39,349
-God bless us. It's yourself, ma'am.
-It is indeed, Father.
153
00:12:39,414 --> 00:12:40,560
...remarked...
154
00:12:40,631 --> 00:12:45,387
randy Father Liam...
155
00:12:46,263 --> 00:12:48,652
as he opened the door...
156
00:12:49,047 --> 00:12:50,836
to a young woman...
157
00:12:51,159 --> 00:12:53,876
who bore a startling resemblance...
158
00:12:53,943 --> 00:12:55,699
to Mitzi Gaynor.
159
00:12:56,438 --> 00:12:58,380
So you are the replacement
for Mrs. McGlynn?
160
00:12:58,454 --> 00:12:59,981
I am indeed, Father.
161
00:13:00,439 --> 00:13:03,505
Destroyed with the lumbago, she is.
Destroyed, and that's a fact.
162
00:13:03,575 --> 00:13:05,942
But sure she'll be back on her feet soon,
please God.
163
00:13:06,007 --> 00:13:07,698
Please God she will, now.
164
00:13:08,791 --> 00:13:10,285
But tell me this...
165
00:13:10,742 --> 00:13:12,303
have I begun to dote...
166
00:13:13,271 --> 00:13:15,507
or do you remind me of someone special?
167
00:13:16,055 --> 00:13:19,022
When she sensed a movement...
168
00:13:19,511 --> 00:13:23,057
underneath his black serge trousers.
169
00:13:23,191 --> 00:13:25,133
Oh, Father, please, how could I?
170
00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:26,515
When I've gone out of my way...
171
00:13:26,583 --> 00:13:30,412
knowing that your dicky doodle,
naughty poopster that he is...
172
00:13:30,775 --> 00:13:32,368
given the slightest encouragement...
173
00:13:32,439 --> 00:13:34,261
would be only too eager
to get up to mischief...
174
00:13:34,326 --> 00:13:36,693
Down, boy! Naughty dicky...
175
00:13:37,047 --> 00:13:40,342
to camouflage myself and look like
any ordinary old curate's drudge.
176
00:13:40,407 --> 00:13:44,051
"And most definitely not...
177
00:13:44,438 --> 00:13:47,537
"a perfume-sprayed vision...
178
00:13:47,607 --> 00:13:50,607
"named Mitzi Gaynor...
179
00:13:50,999 --> 00:13:54,577
"with a head of bubble-cut curls...
180
00:13:54,998 --> 00:13:59,341
"that would make any man's privates
go sprong. "
181
00:13:59,446 --> 00:14:01,202
I've got the standard uniform, Father.
182
00:14:01,270 --> 00:14:03,791
The blue housecoat
with the bow at the back...
183
00:14:04,375 --> 00:14:06,960
the tan stockings, color of stale tea...
184
00:14:07,030 --> 00:14:09,070
the old hairnet,
which says to all them Mickies...
185
00:14:09,142 --> 00:14:11,084
whose duty it is to stay inside
and wear black serge...
186
00:14:11,159 --> 00:14:13,014
"No Mickies today.
187
00:14:13,079 --> 00:14:15,763
"Down, boys. That's it, my sweets,
off with you and say your prayers."
188
00:14:15,831 --> 00:14:17,587
Breakfast, Father?
189
00:14:18,198 --> 00:14:20,108
By God, and now you're talking.
190
00:14:20,951 --> 00:14:24,661
Mickey is devious...
191
00:14:25,175 --> 00:14:28,208
and no matter how much you tell him...
192
00:14:29,654 --> 00:14:31,956
he simply won't stay down.
193
00:14:32,279 --> 00:14:34,548
But drab old housecoats...
194
00:14:34,614 --> 00:14:38,095
and tea-colored stockings
might well have kept him down...
195
00:14:38,167 --> 00:14:41,363
if it wasn't for that pesky spot of grease.
196
00:14:42,646 --> 00:14:44,621
Oh, this is powerful altogether.
197
00:14:46,359 --> 00:14:49,076
I would do jail for another rasher.
Do you know that, Eily?
198
00:14:49,143 --> 00:14:51,826
I'll fry you some more
this minute, then, Father.
199
00:14:53,975 --> 00:14:57,073
Come here till I tell you. Did you hear
the one about peanuts at confession?
200
00:14:57,142 --> 00:14:59,117
No, Father. At least I don't think so.
201
00:14:59,191 --> 00:15:02,540
Says the priest to the young fellow, "Did
you throw peanuts in the river, too?"
202
00:15:02,615 --> 00:15:06,226
To which the young lad says,
"No, Father, I am Peanuts."
203
00:15:12,150 --> 00:15:14,092
Not a very funny joke...
204
00:15:14,166 --> 00:15:17,265
but she laughed and she laughed.
205
00:15:17,623 --> 00:15:21,878
In fact, you could say
she laughed until she cried.
206
00:15:23,863 --> 00:15:25,838
My skirt and housecoat are riding up.
207
00:15:25,911 --> 00:15:27,437
Better abort this task at once...
208
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:30,893
or we could have an exploding clergyman
filling the air with pent-up sexual energy.
209
00:15:30,967 --> 00:15:31,949
Oh, no!
210
00:15:32,023 --> 00:15:33,997
-Priest grows wings in latest miracle.
-Eily!
211
00:15:34,071 --> 00:15:38,348
"When she found herself enveloped
by his skirts. "
212
00:15:39,382 --> 00:15:41,586
Now, Father, is this another joke?
213
00:15:42,678 --> 00:15:44,140
That hurt, Father.
214
00:15:44,215 --> 00:15:48,405
Frank Sinatra wouldn't do this, Father.
Neither would Vic Damone.
215
00:15:49,367 --> 00:15:51,025
I'm all wet, Father.
216
00:15:51,414 --> 00:15:53,618
What are you doing down there, Father?
217
00:15:53,879 --> 00:15:55,952
Are you playing squidgy
with my Fairy Liquid?
218
00:15:56,695 --> 00:15:58,996
But she was soon to realize...
219
00:15:59,127 --> 00:16:02,607
it wasn't Fairy Liquid
he'd been playing with down there.
220
00:16:04,535 --> 00:16:07,023
The end.
221
00:16:07,926 --> 00:16:08,875
No...
222
00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:12,436
it wasn't Fairy Liquid at all.
223
00:16:17,463 --> 00:16:19,088
"...privates go sprong."
224
00:16:19,670 --> 00:16:21,361
"Privates go...."
225
00:16:21,430 --> 00:16:22,837
How dare you?
226
00:16:23,319 --> 00:16:25,904
When I said, "develop your literary skills"...
227
00:16:26,359 --> 00:16:28,726
I did not, repeat, not, mean this.
228
00:16:29,847 --> 00:16:31,407
Why did you write it?
229
00:16:32,023 --> 00:16:35,056
I thought there was a moral, sir.
A lesson, if you will.
230
00:16:35,222 --> 00:16:37,044
Young girls in mortal danger.
231
00:16:37,590 --> 00:16:40,590
Get out of this classroom, Braden!
To the Dean's office!
232
00:16:41,238 --> 00:16:43,126
Hello, class. My name is Miss Kitten...
233
00:16:43,191 --> 00:16:46,803
and I'd like to tell you about the perils
of being a priest's housekeeper...
234
00:16:46,871 --> 00:16:49,620
especially when you look like Mitzi Gaynor.
235
00:16:49,687 --> 00:16:52,076
Hands up who can tell me
who Mitzi Gaynor is.
236
00:16:52,150 --> 00:16:54,517
So, you see, Patrick, we're on your side.
237
00:16:55,222 --> 00:16:57,808
We're here to help you.
I don't think you understand that.
238
00:16:57,879 --> 00:16:59,667
Well, no, you're wrong, Father. I do.
239
00:16:59,734 --> 00:17:03,531
So, if you can think of anything
that would help us to help you, well....
240
00:17:05,174 --> 00:17:06,123
Well...
241
00:17:07,510 --> 00:17:09,452
there is one thing, Father.
242
00:17:12,087 --> 00:17:13,745
-Instead of PE...
-Yeah.
243
00:17:14,551 --> 00:17:17,867
...I could take Home Economics
and Needlework class.
244
00:17:19,126 --> 00:17:21,996
And you think that would help you...
245
00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:24,750
knuckle down and apply yourself?
246
00:17:28,566 --> 00:17:30,028
What's that, Patrick?
247
00:17:30,263 --> 00:17:32,532
Oh, and you can call me Kitten, Father.
248
00:17:33,559 --> 00:17:34,507
Kitten?
249
00:17:34,711 --> 00:17:38,126
Yes, Patrick Kitten Braden,
after Saint Kitten.
250
00:17:42,039 --> 00:17:45,781
Well, now,
there was no Saint Kitten, Patrick.
251
00:17:45,846 --> 00:17:48,082
Oh, no,
but there was a Saint Cettin, Father...
252
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:50,093
and some have been known to call him...
253
00:17:50,166 --> 00:17:52,054
or was it a her...
254
00:17:52,247 --> 00:17:53,327
Kitten.
255
00:17:55,670 --> 00:17:56,848
Saint Kitten?
256
00:17:58,167 --> 00:18:00,534
He or she was an acolyte of Saint Patrick.
257
00:18:00,599 --> 00:18:04,854
Wore a dress. As did Saint Patrick, actually.
A hairy dress.
258
00:18:05,558 --> 00:18:07,314
Quite ruined her complexion.
259
00:18:08,790 --> 00:18:10,961
And they're for your sister, Patrick?
260
00:18:12,022 --> 00:18:15,284
Oh, she really needs a bit of glamour
in her life, Mrs. Coyle.
261
00:18:16,311 --> 00:18:19,126
But then again, don't we all?
262
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:23,312
The trouble broke out as the Minister
of State for Northern Ireland, Mr. Channon...
263
00:18:23,383 --> 00:18:25,903
was visiting Derry
to see businessmen there...
264
00:18:27,063 --> 00:18:29,135
for the second time inside a month.
265
00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:31,187
Jesus, Mammy, I'm exhausted.
266
00:18:32,438 --> 00:18:33,812
At least you have a job...
267
00:18:33,879 --> 00:18:37,108
which is more than that waster yonder
is ever likely to have.
268
00:18:37,175 --> 00:18:39,062
Now, one more complaint from that school...
269
00:18:39,126 --> 00:18:41,876
and it'll not be good for you,
by Christ, it'll not.
270
00:18:42,742 --> 00:18:43,789
Oh, Mammy?
271
00:18:44,822 --> 00:18:47,757
Do you have the price of the dance
and a cup of coffee?
272
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:50,196
Price of the dance and a cup of coffee?
273
00:18:50,326 --> 00:18:52,748
Price of the dance and a cup of coffee?
274
00:18:52,822 --> 00:18:54,448
Well, do you think I'm made of money?
275
00:18:54,518 --> 00:18:56,428
Do you think I'm made of money?
276
00:18:57,718 --> 00:18:59,180
Will you just hand over the cash?
277
00:18:59,255 --> 00:19:00,596
Will you just fork out the money...
278
00:19:00,663 --> 00:19:03,412
and stop blathering,
you fucking whiskery old whore.
279
00:19:03,478 --> 00:19:06,195
Here. And don't ask me again.
280
00:19:06,870 --> 00:19:10,100
Well, thank you so much, Mammy.
Thank you so much.
281
00:19:52,086 --> 00:19:54,672
-No. No, no, no, no, no.
-Why not?
282
00:19:54,742 --> 00:19:57,492
I'm not obliged to give you any reasons,
but I'll give you two anyway.
283
00:19:57,559 --> 00:19:58,900
Him and her.
284
00:19:59,223 --> 00:20:00,881
Don't have to stand for this, do we, Paddy?
285
00:20:00,951 --> 00:20:02,860
Oh, Paddy's her name.
Well, that's reason number three.
286
00:20:02,934 --> 00:20:06,317
-Did you ever ride a man, Lukie?
-No, but I rode a man that did.
287
00:20:06,966 --> 00:20:08,340
Fuck you.
288
00:20:08,471 --> 00:20:10,096
-Evening.
-How you doing?
289
00:20:12,022 --> 00:20:13,680
Mikey, go get the lads.
290
00:20:16,790 --> 00:20:19,572
I'm warning you, get out of here!
291
00:20:22,966 --> 00:20:25,814
Fuck them and their Rob Strong.
We'll go to the glen.
292
00:20:30,646 --> 00:20:33,167
Excuse me. Can we have a lift?
293
00:20:36,663 --> 00:20:37,710
Get on.
294
00:20:38,391 --> 00:20:40,016
Moving out.
295
00:21:01,271 --> 00:21:04,173
Druids, man. We're like the Border Knights.
296
00:21:04,822 --> 00:21:07,277
Knew all about the space-time continuum.
297
00:21:09,494 --> 00:21:13,171
-No, Lawrence! No. Excuse me, please.
-Open his eyes.
298
00:21:13,911 --> 00:21:15,853
-What do you see, bro?
-Sausages.
299
00:21:16,470 --> 00:21:17,714
No stars?
300
00:21:18,070 --> 00:21:19,793
Stars and sausages.
301
00:21:23,030 --> 00:21:24,437
Now you're talking.
302
00:21:24,790 --> 00:21:26,612
Gotta get behind the surface.
303
00:21:26,902 --> 00:21:28,331
Yes, surface.
304
00:21:29,334 --> 00:21:33,360
I see four green fields, Brits in one of them.
305
00:21:34,902 --> 00:21:37,423
-Not for fucking long.
-Hey, no politics, man.
306
00:21:37,878 --> 00:21:39,820
Border Knights don't allow them.
307
00:21:40,086 --> 00:21:41,679
Jams the astral highway.
308
00:21:42,838 --> 00:21:45,686
So why do you call yourselves
the Border Knights?
309
00:21:46,230 --> 00:21:48,565
Because the only border that matters...
310
00:21:48,982 --> 00:21:52,080
is the one between what's in front...
311
00:21:52,919 --> 00:21:54,675
and what you've left behind.
312
00:21:55,414 --> 00:21:58,000
When I ride my hog,
you think I'm riding the road?
313
00:21:58,071 --> 00:21:59,183
No way, man.
314
00:21:59,670 --> 00:22:03,282
I'm traveling from the past into the future
with a druid at my back.
315
00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:08,209
-Druid man or druid woman?
-That doesn't matter.
316
00:22:11,222 --> 00:22:12,978
What matters is the journey.
317
00:22:15,798 --> 00:22:18,165
-You know where it goes, baby?
-Where?
318
00:22:19,734 --> 00:22:23,247
We'll visit the stars and journey to Mars
319
00:22:24,246 --> 00:22:25,937
Finding our breakfast
320
00:22:27,158 --> 00:22:28,685
On Pluto
321
00:22:29,622 --> 00:22:30,931
Pluto?
322
00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:32,299
Pluto.
323
00:22:34,134 --> 00:22:37,909
No, not Pluto the dog. Pluto the planet.
324
00:22:39,606 --> 00:22:43,500
Named by Percival Lowell
and William H. Pickering...
325
00:22:45,174 --> 00:22:47,563
after the invisible king of the underworld.
326
00:22:54,966 --> 00:22:56,656
You think about that.
327
00:23:05,366 --> 00:23:08,628
Oh, kiss me, Joseph.
Kiss me, Joseph Hanratty.
328
00:23:08,694 --> 00:23:10,353
I'll beat your fucking....
329
00:23:17,846 --> 00:23:19,505
Now, boys and girls...
330
00:23:19,574 --> 00:23:23,283
a retreat is time for prayer and reflection.
331
00:23:24,054 --> 00:23:27,218
Some of you may have already noticed
that your bodies are...
332
00:23:27,959 --> 00:23:29,781
going through some changes...
333
00:23:30,038 --> 00:23:33,387
and I would like you to feel free
to approach us...
334
00:23:33,463 --> 00:23:36,015
about any problem that concerns you.
335
00:23:36,086 --> 00:23:39,731
So, I will leave this problem box...
336
00:23:40,342 --> 00:23:42,382
here by the altar rails.
337
00:23:43,094 --> 00:23:45,461
No problem should be precluded.
338
00:23:46,230 --> 00:23:49,394
After all, that is why we are here.
339
00:23:50,582 --> 00:23:53,899
Now, does everyone remember last week
we were talking about....
340
00:24:02,006 --> 00:24:04,625
You'll not bring my retreat into disrepute,
do you hear me?
341
00:24:04,694 --> 00:24:07,083
How dare it. How dare you, you pup, you....
342
00:24:07,158 --> 00:24:08,303
Sir, you're hurting me.
343
00:24:12,918 --> 00:24:15,701
-What did you write on the paper, Patrick?
-Nothing.
344
00:24:15,990 --> 00:24:16,939
Nothing.
345
00:24:17,558 --> 00:24:20,558
Just, did he know any place
that does a good sex change?
346
00:24:38,646 --> 00:24:39,725
Disgraced!
347
00:24:39,798 --> 00:24:43,060
Disgraced in front of the whole town,
so we are! Oh, Jesus!
348
00:24:43,126 --> 00:24:46,061
How could you do it, Paddy?
Mammy has a bad heart!
349
00:24:46,262 --> 00:24:48,815
-And now you've broken it.
-Oh, God, oh, God!
350
00:24:48,886 --> 00:24:51,123
Oh, Jesus Christ. My arm!
351
00:24:51,510 --> 00:24:53,998
-She's not my mammy.
-What did you say?
352
00:24:54,710 --> 00:24:58,093
I'm sorry, Caz.
Sorry, Mammy, wherever you are.
353
00:24:58,166 --> 00:25:00,305
Oh, stop it, Patrick, please!
354
00:25:00,374 --> 00:25:02,675
Why won't you stop it
and let us get on with our lives?
355
00:25:02,742 --> 00:25:05,164
I'm sorry, Caz. I never meant to hurt you.
356
00:25:05,782 --> 00:25:08,531
-After all, we've both been through this--
-Get away!
357
00:25:08,598 --> 00:25:10,737
Get your hands off me, you creature!
358
00:25:11,510 --> 00:25:14,357
Oh, figgly boogles. What's the point?
359
00:25:15,254 --> 00:25:17,523
That's it, I've tried my best. I'm off.
360
00:25:32,022 --> 00:25:33,997
Are you going to Scotsfield, by any chance?
361
00:25:34,070 --> 00:25:37,300
We'd better be. We're playing there tonight.
Get in the back.
362
00:25:42,678 --> 00:25:43,626
Hello.
363
00:25:58,038 --> 00:26:00,459
What do you think of this trouble up North?
364
00:26:00,694 --> 00:26:03,509
-Oh, I think it's an absolute terror.
-Do you think so, yeah?
365
00:26:03,574 --> 00:26:06,509
Oh, I do it.
A terror to the living world, so it is.
366
00:26:06,582 --> 00:26:08,687
I don't think you care either way...
367
00:26:09,174 --> 00:26:10,767
my good-Iooking young friend.
368
00:26:10,838 --> 00:26:13,009
No, I know how serious it is.
369
00:26:14,198 --> 00:26:16,565
They think they can break us, don't they?
370
00:26:16,758 --> 00:26:20,054
Hang Paddy from the ceiling.
Fuck him from a helicopter.
371
00:26:20,246 --> 00:26:22,450
Give him a dose of white noise.
372
00:26:22,870 --> 00:26:24,845
Shove electrodes up his arse.
373
00:26:25,270 --> 00:26:28,565
-Now, really, Mr.--
-Hatchett. They call me Billy Hatchett.
374
00:26:29,974 --> 00:26:32,014
Pleased to meet you, Mr. Hatchett.
375
00:26:33,270 --> 00:26:35,539
You really don't know who I am, do you?
376
00:26:35,990 --> 00:26:37,713
I haven't had the pleasure.
377
00:26:38,262 --> 00:26:42,157
Do you hear that, lads? He's never heard
of Billy Hatchett and the Mohawks.
378
00:28:26,710 --> 00:28:29,328
So, have you somewhere
to stay tonight, Paddy?
379
00:28:30,326 --> 00:28:32,660
Or should I call you Patrick?
380
00:28:34,614 --> 00:28:36,752
You can call me Kitten, darling.
381
00:28:36,950 --> 00:28:37,932
Kitten?
382
00:28:39,414 --> 00:28:40,788
After Saint Cettin.
383
00:28:41,366 --> 00:28:44,530
He or she was an acolyte of Patrick,
Saint Patrick.
384
00:28:45,558 --> 00:28:47,631
So you have somewhere to stay, then?
385
00:28:49,109 --> 00:28:51,630
Mammy threw me out, I'm afraid.
386
00:28:52,182 --> 00:28:55,281
Well, I could always put you up in the van.
387
00:28:55,350 --> 00:28:58,928
-It's not much, but I could.
-Mr. Hatchett!
388
00:29:03,990 --> 00:29:05,397
Thank you.
389
00:29:08,917 --> 00:29:10,478
You're welcome, Kitten.
390
00:29:15,158 --> 00:29:17,427
I'll be off to the hotel, then, Kitten.
391
00:29:20,310 --> 00:29:23,506
I'd stay the night.
I'd stay the night, but the boys....
392
00:29:23,573 --> 00:29:25,613
The boys might get the wrong idea.
393
00:29:25,814 --> 00:29:27,341
No, I've gotta go.
394
00:29:27,413 --> 00:29:29,999
-I've gotta go.
-Oh, please don't go just yet.
395
00:29:30,230 --> 00:29:33,329
Oh, Kitten. I gotta go. I really have.
396
00:29:36,566 --> 00:29:38,769
Billy! Billy, Billy.
397
00:29:44,758 --> 00:29:46,219
It's Bobby Goldsboro.
398
00:29:48,502 --> 00:29:50,476
Used to help me get to sleep.
399
00:29:50,998 --> 00:29:55,755
His wife dies. You see,
she dies when he's away from home.
400
00:29:57,206 --> 00:30:01,265
-Oh, Kitten, I've gotta go now.
-Billy.
401
00:30:01,334 --> 00:30:02,544
I really have.
402
00:30:05,142 --> 00:30:07,149
If you were away with the band...
403
00:30:08,662 --> 00:30:12,688
and you came home
and you found me lying there...
404
00:30:14,166 --> 00:30:17,035
like Bobby's wife....
405
00:30:19,478 --> 00:30:21,300
What about it?
406
00:30:22,614 --> 00:30:26,159
-Would you take me to the hospital?
-Oh, of course I would.
407
00:30:26,806 --> 00:30:28,016
Of course I would, Kitten.
408
00:30:28,085 --> 00:30:30,867
Oh, I wish that could happen.
409
00:30:31,510 --> 00:30:35,220
I've seen it all now. I tell you,
I've fucking well seen it all now.
410
00:30:35,286 --> 00:30:36,976
Where the fuck
do you think he disappeared to...
411
00:30:37,046 --> 00:30:38,900
when we were in San Francisco?
412
00:30:39,382 --> 00:30:41,771
I'd even bring you flowers.
413
00:30:44,309 --> 00:30:47,211
-Roses?
-Roses.
414
00:30:49,174 --> 00:30:50,930
Oh, Billy.
415
00:30:51,606 --> 00:30:52,686
Oh, Kitten.
416
00:30:53,494 --> 00:30:54,443
Billy.
417
00:30:59,638 --> 00:31:02,223
For I ask you, Billy Bobby, nicest man...
418
00:31:02,518 --> 00:31:04,852
what's an Indian band without a squaw?
419
00:31:06,901 --> 00:31:08,330
"A squaw?"
420
00:32:26,710 --> 00:32:30,605
-Name, please?
-Paddy Kitten. What's yours, darling?
421
00:32:30,710 --> 00:32:33,296
I could tell you were a Paddy all right.
422
00:32:40,502 --> 00:32:44,560
-What about Geronimo?
-What would I know? I'm just a Mick.
423
00:32:44,661 --> 00:32:48,010
Thirteen of your lot shot in Derry.
What do you know about that?
424
00:32:48,086 --> 00:32:50,803
Maybe you'd know about thirteen less
to deal with.
425
00:32:51,862 --> 00:32:54,229
Fuck off, mate.
426
00:32:57,686 --> 00:32:58,995
Fuck off.
427
00:33:30,037 --> 00:33:32,972
Get off the fucking stage, you stupid bitch.
428
00:33:42,837 --> 00:33:46,961
Patrick, I don't know how to say this to you.
429
00:33:47,254 --> 00:33:49,872
It's the boys, the boys in the band.
430
00:33:50,197 --> 00:33:52,718
They feel a squaw just isn't working out.
431
00:33:54,006 --> 00:33:55,828
It could be they have a point.
432
00:33:55,990 --> 00:33:58,445
They say it doesn't feel right.
433
00:33:58,518 --> 00:34:01,584
I don't know,
they've been with me so long and....
434
00:34:02,133 --> 00:34:03,694
I'm sorry.
435
00:34:04,245 --> 00:34:06,067
But I have a little proposal.
436
00:34:06,421 --> 00:34:09,291
-A ring, perhaps?
-Oh, Patrick, Patrick....
437
00:34:11,702 --> 00:34:13,676
I told you not to call me that.
438
00:34:14,678 --> 00:34:16,979
I'm sorry, Kitten.
439
00:34:20,373 --> 00:34:25,163
Bobby Billy,
would you bring me sweeties, too?
440
00:34:25,558 --> 00:34:26,867
You know I would.
441
00:34:27,766 --> 00:34:30,286
-What kind would they be?
-Oh, for the love of Jesus.
442
00:34:30,358 --> 00:34:33,554
-No. No, Quality Street.
-Quality Street?
443
00:34:51,574 --> 00:34:54,541
It was my mother's.
She left it to me in her will.
444
00:34:54,613 --> 00:34:58,442
Nobody stays here, and I need somebody
to look after it, Kitten.
445
00:34:58,517 --> 00:35:02,292
-What do you reckon?
-House of dreams and longing.
446
00:35:02,390 --> 00:35:06,351
I wouldn't exactly call it a house,
but tell us what you think.
447
00:35:13,461 --> 00:35:17,290
Oh, to have a little house.
To own the hearth, stool and all.
448
00:35:18,261 --> 00:35:22,036
So, Kitten, can I come and visit you
every now and again?
449
00:35:22,198 --> 00:35:26,475
Of course you can,
you great, big, silly Bobby Goldsboro.
450
00:35:26,549 --> 00:35:28,622
You don't even have to ask.
451
00:36:06,389 --> 00:36:09,040
Well, goodness gracious, icky-oakie me.
452
00:36:34,101 --> 00:36:36,523
-What?
-What's with Diana Ross?
453
00:36:36,757 --> 00:36:38,318
Leave him be, he knows nothing.
454
00:36:38,390 --> 00:36:40,245
-Keep it that way.
-No problem.
455
00:37:06,230 --> 00:37:09,907
If I volunteer, Irwin,
could I have pink glasses, please?
456
00:37:10,005 --> 00:37:12,209
Can't you take anything serious?
457
00:37:12,598 --> 00:37:15,281
Oh, serious, serious, serious.
458
00:37:15,349 --> 00:37:17,553
You might have to soon enough.
459
00:37:18,710 --> 00:37:21,525
So fucking what, Charlie?
I sell Republican News.
460
00:37:21,590 --> 00:37:24,437
A few fucking papers, big deal.
What are you, my fucking wife?
461
00:37:24,501 --> 00:37:27,152
Don't you lie to me, Irwin.
I don't believe your stories.
462
00:37:27,221 --> 00:37:31,182
I'm involved in nothing! I sell their paper,
for all the difference it makes in this kip.
463
00:37:31,253 --> 00:37:32,879
Nobody gives a fuck!
464
00:37:32,950 --> 00:37:34,127
Soon enough they fucking will.
465
00:37:34,197 --> 00:37:36,718
If I find out you're lying to me,
I'll finish with you, I swear!
466
00:37:36,790 --> 00:37:39,637
Yeah, well, finish it with me,
see if I fucking care!
467
00:37:47,189 --> 00:37:50,091
Come on, move off the road.
There's a vehicle coming through.
468
00:37:50,165 --> 00:37:52,238
Get back. It's for your own safety.
469
00:37:56,917 --> 00:37:59,056
Get these people off the street!
470
00:37:59,126 --> 00:38:02,387
I want everyone to move away
from the red van!
471
00:38:02,453 --> 00:38:04,755
Come on, folks. Stand back, please. Move!
472
00:38:04,821 --> 00:38:07,603
Bring it down careful now. Yeah, gently.
473
00:38:07,670 --> 00:38:10,986
-Please, move back.
-Move back.
474
00:38:11,445 --> 00:38:14,293
Now let the Army go to work.
Get back, now, get back.
475
00:38:15,958 --> 00:38:17,168
Move back and clear the area.
476
00:38:17,237 --> 00:38:19,692
-There may be other devices.
-You're to get away now. Get back, now.
477
00:38:19,765 --> 00:38:21,936
Get away from the street.
Get off the street now.
478
00:38:22,005 --> 00:38:23,598
Clear this area for your own safety.
479
00:38:23,669 --> 00:38:24,717
Move back.
480
00:38:25,717 --> 00:38:28,019
-It's a Dalek. Exterminate.
-Lawrence!
481
00:38:28,182 --> 00:38:32,110
Exterminate. Exterminate.
Exterminate. Exterminate.
482
00:38:32,597 --> 00:38:33,710
Exterminate.
483
00:39:01,877 --> 00:39:04,725
Dust thou art,
and unto dust thou shalt return...
484
00:39:05,622 --> 00:39:07,760
until the Lord raises you up on the last day.
485
00:39:07,829 --> 00:39:11,310
Let us pray for our brother Lawrence
to our Lord Jesus Christ...
486
00:39:12,149 --> 00:39:15,247
who said,
"I am the resurrection, and the life.
487
00:39:15,509 --> 00:39:18,444
"The man who believes in me will live
even if he dies."
488
00:39:20,085 --> 00:39:23,434
Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
489
00:39:23,733 --> 00:39:25,162
Thy kingdom come...
490
00:39:25,397 --> 00:39:28,015
thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.
491
00:39:28,310 --> 00:39:30,382
Give us this day our daily bread.
492
00:40:00,053 --> 00:40:01,995
Serious, serious.
493
00:40:02,069 --> 00:40:04,851
Time for some serious spring cleaning.
494
00:40:07,925 --> 00:40:09,681
Fuck.
495
00:40:11,413 --> 00:40:12,657
Don't you know what this means?
496
00:40:12,725 --> 00:40:15,146
Do you know
what these guys are like, Paddy?
497
00:40:15,317 --> 00:40:18,317
-Don't let this come between us, Billy.
-Shut up!
498
00:40:20,981 --> 00:40:23,370
Jesus, what the fuck am I gonna do?
499
00:40:24,981 --> 00:40:28,364
-Fucking Jesus!
-Tell them I was spring cleaning, darling.
500
00:40:28,438 --> 00:40:31,634
Where are they, Paddy?
Tell me, where are they?
501
00:40:31,701 --> 00:40:33,872
Now, what is this you mean, my darling?
502
00:40:33,941 --> 00:40:36,462
The guns, you little fucking whore,
where are they?
503
00:40:36,533 --> 00:40:39,500
The guns! It's all too fucking serious!
Don't go fucking me around.
504
00:40:39,573 --> 00:40:42,191
Oh, all of a sudden
everybody's getting serious.
505
00:40:42,261 --> 00:40:44,017
Serious, serious, serious.
506
00:40:44,085 --> 00:40:45,809
I'm not fucking joking, Patrick!
507
00:40:45,877 --> 00:40:48,877
-Where are they?
-I told you to call me Kitten.
508
00:40:57,525 --> 00:40:59,249
Don't fucking know me.
509
00:40:59,381 --> 00:41:01,039
You don't know where I've gone.
510
00:41:01,109 --> 00:41:04,458
And if they come, if they fucking come,
you tell them nothing.
511
00:41:04,885 --> 00:41:07,219
-I mean nothing.
-Whatever you say, darling.
512
00:41:07,285 --> 00:41:09,554
You're way out of your league, Patrick.
513
00:41:09,749 --> 00:41:12,651
You don't know what you're dealing with.
Don't fucking know.
514
00:41:12,725 --> 00:41:15,725
Oh, I do. I know, all right.
515
00:41:16,245 --> 00:41:19,027
I know you were only joking
about the roses...
516
00:41:19,093 --> 00:41:20,980
and sweets, too, probably.
517
00:41:25,941 --> 00:41:28,079
But it was nice while it lasted.
518
00:41:46,773 --> 00:41:48,464
Are you happy now?
519
00:41:48,853 --> 00:41:51,024
Are you happy now
that you got what you wanted?
520
00:41:51,093 --> 00:41:53,133
Now that they've bombed down here?
521
00:41:53,365 --> 00:41:55,307
Are your Republican friends
good and happy...
522
00:41:55,381 --> 00:41:57,454
now they can see what they've done?
523
00:41:57,845 --> 00:41:59,950
What the fuck are you talking about?
524
00:42:00,533 --> 00:42:02,737
It had nothing to do with Republicans.
525
00:42:03,573 --> 00:42:06,508
What the fuck would they bomb
a southern town for, huh?
526
00:42:08,437 --> 00:42:09,898
You hear me, Charlie?
527
00:42:11,029 --> 00:42:13,036
And if you want out, just say so.
528
00:42:38,453 --> 00:42:39,663
Open the door.
529
00:42:40,853 --> 00:42:44,366
-I can't, go away. Come back in the morning.
-Open it, bitch! This is serious!
530
00:42:44,437 --> 00:42:47,852
-Open the fucking door!
-Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I'm coming.
531
00:43:07,189 --> 00:43:09,775
-Where did he put them?
-I'm afraid I don't understand.
532
00:43:09,845 --> 00:43:12,431
The guns, nancy boy.
Where did he put the guns?
533
00:43:12,501 --> 00:43:13,777
Oh, yes, the guns.
534
00:43:13,845 --> 00:43:17,293
Oh, Billy buried them outside
just to be safe.
535
00:43:17,365 --> 00:43:18,412
Go.
536
00:43:21,429 --> 00:43:23,469
There's no fucking guns down here.
537
00:43:26,325 --> 00:43:27,918
-I think they might just be...
-The little cunt!
538
00:43:27,989 --> 00:43:29,483
-He's taking the hand out of us.
-...over here.
539
00:43:29,557 --> 00:43:32,240
I'll nut him! I swear to God I'll nut him!
540
00:43:34,773 --> 00:43:36,595
Say goodbye to my friends, will you?
541
00:43:36,661 --> 00:43:38,832
Charlie lives in Sunbeam Heights
and Irwin's up The Backs.
542
00:43:38,901 --> 00:43:39,916
Irwin who?
543
00:43:40,084 --> 00:43:41,262
Why, Irwin Kerr, of course.
544
00:43:41,333 --> 00:43:44,148
-The big-time Volunteer.
-How do you know Irwin Kerr?
545
00:43:44,213 --> 00:43:47,028
Oh, nothing. Never mind.
Well, come on then.
546
00:43:47,253 --> 00:43:50,515
Just do it. I've nothing left to live for
in this stupid, serious world.
547
00:43:50,581 --> 00:43:51,563
Oh, fuck him.
548
00:43:51,637 --> 00:43:54,026
Leave him be. He's not worth the bullet,
the mental nancy boy.
549
00:43:54,101 --> 00:43:56,883
Oh, what is it with nancy boys
that you can't be bothered killing them?
550
00:43:56,949 --> 00:43:58,859
-You kill everyone else.
-Look, I'm fucking warning you.
551
00:43:58,932 --> 00:44:01,354
Do you know what you're doing here?
Are you on dope or what?
552
00:44:01,429 --> 00:44:04,364
Wish that I was, Mr. Killing Man.
Why, do you have any?
553
00:44:04,757 --> 00:44:06,993
You're way out of your league, sunshine.
554
00:44:07,061 --> 00:44:09,101
Not that again.
"Out of your league, out of your league."
555
00:44:09,173 --> 00:44:11,213
"Oh, you're in over your head.
You're in over your head."
556
00:44:11,285 --> 00:44:12,692
Oh, for heaven's sake!
557
00:44:12,757 --> 00:44:15,146
Surely you've one bullet to spare
between yous.
558
00:44:15,221 --> 00:44:16,879
Bollocks!
559
00:44:24,629 --> 00:44:26,898
-Where are we going?
-You hit us, we hit you.
560
00:44:26,965 --> 00:44:28,875
-It's simple.
-Right.
561
00:44:28,948 --> 00:44:31,599
The bomb was made up here
and driven across the border.
562
00:44:31,669 --> 00:44:34,222
Wee Bobby Anderson.
Likes killing Catholics.
563
00:44:34,293 --> 00:44:36,398
It'll be the last fucking bomb he'll make.
564
00:44:36,469 --> 00:44:38,641
Turn the lights off. Keep it running.
565
00:45:06,805 --> 00:45:08,114
Oh, Lord.
566
00:45:24,724 --> 00:45:26,928
Get us the fuck out of here, will you?
567
00:45:27,541 --> 00:45:29,930
-What's the smell?
-He shat himself.
568
00:45:30,036 --> 00:45:31,597
You not toilet trained?
569
00:45:33,045 --> 00:45:36,591
What do you think you are, Kerr?
What the fuck do you think this is?
570
00:45:41,845 --> 00:45:42,990
Tell me you're not serious.
571
00:45:43,093 --> 00:45:45,613
You see, there is that word again.
It's everywhere.
572
00:45:45,685 --> 00:45:48,019
But you don't know a soul
in London, Paddy.
573
00:45:48,085 --> 00:45:50,321
There's only one soul I need, Charlie.
574
00:45:54,453 --> 00:45:56,307
You really think you'll find her?
575
00:45:56,373 --> 00:45:58,380
How many Eily Bergins can there be?
576
00:45:58,453 --> 00:46:00,275
Maybe she's changed her name.
577
00:46:00,725 --> 00:46:02,994
She won't have changed her eyes, Irwin.
578
00:46:06,069 --> 00:46:07,498
How will you get by?
579
00:46:11,125 --> 00:46:12,881
Saint Anthony will guide me.
580
00:47:14,517 --> 00:47:17,070
The thing is, you come to the city
that never sleeps...
581
00:47:17,141 --> 00:47:19,378
and you think it's open all the time,
but it does sleep.
582
00:47:19,445 --> 00:47:20,874
Excuse me?
583
00:47:21,781 --> 00:47:22,991
Of course it does.
584
00:47:23,060 --> 00:47:26,475
I'm looking for my mother, please.
Eily Bergin. Phantom Lady.
585
00:47:28,501 --> 00:47:31,796
I've just got two Bergins for 1956.
586
00:47:31,860 --> 00:47:34,894
Bergin, Ellen,
and Bergin with a simple initial E.
587
00:47:35,381 --> 00:47:38,131
Well, that's her.
I mean, it has to be one of them.
588
00:47:38,389 --> 00:47:42,000
One's from Aldgate
and the other's from East London.
589
00:47:44,725 --> 00:47:46,732
Will you be going back home
after you've found her?
590
00:47:46,804 --> 00:47:49,706
Oh, yes, of course.
Maybe she'll come with me.
591
00:47:51,860 --> 00:47:54,860
-And, son, will you promise me something?
-Yes.
592
00:47:56,181 --> 00:47:59,596
-Take care of yourself.
-Oh, I will, Mrs. Henderson.
593
00:47:59,796 --> 00:48:00,844
Thank you.
594
00:48:28,852 --> 00:48:31,602
No, mate,
they knocked those houses down years ago.
595
00:49:20,788 --> 00:49:21,737
I'm....
596
00:50:26,484 --> 00:50:27,793
The man himself.
597
00:50:29,300 --> 00:50:30,642
About time, too.
598
00:50:34,837 --> 00:50:36,691
Are you here for the job, kid?
599
00:50:40,180 --> 00:50:41,129
What job?
600
00:50:41,205 --> 00:50:42,830
This is showbiz, kid.
You gotta be on the ball.
601
00:50:42,900 --> 00:50:45,202
You try that with Stephenson,
now, you've no fucking chance.
602
00:50:45,268 --> 00:50:46,413
Who's Stephenson?
603
00:50:46,484 --> 00:50:49,713
He thinks he's in charge.
RAF, my bollocks! I'll give him RAF.
604
00:50:49,812 --> 00:50:53,260
-You're Irish, you are.
-Tyreelin, County Cavan.
605
00:50:53,493 --> 00:50:55,151
Well then, County Cavan...
606
00:50:55,636 --> 00:50:58,003
give us a song and you're home and dry.
607
00:50:59,893 --> 00:51:02,380
Underground, overground, wombling free
608
00:51:02,485 --> 00:51:04,656
The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we
609
00:51:04,724 --> 00:51:08,107
Good man, you have it.
Now the dance, okay? Okay?
610
00:51:08,533 --> 00:51:09,809
I'm going in.
611
00:51:10,517 --> 00:51:14,346
Right. Hop, one. Hop, two.
Hop, one, two, three.
612
00:51:15,732 --> 00:51:17,641
Flap, flap, flap. Okay?
613
00:51:17,716 --> 00:51:21,808
Go, go on.
Hop, hop one, hop two, hop one, two, three.
614
00:51:22,837 --> 00:51:24,430
Flap, flap, flap. Right, ready?
615
00:51:24,501 --> 00:51:26,704
Right, hop one, hop two.
616
00:51:26,772 --> 00:51:29,293
For fuck's sake, will you hop right?
One, two, three.
617
00:51:29,365 --> 00:51:32,529
Hop one, hop two. Hop, one, two, three.
618
00:51:33,909 --> 00:51:36,080
Flap, flap. Flap it out, flap it out.
619
00:51:36,981 --> 00:51:38,355
Sell it to me.
620
00:51:39,636 --> 00:51:42,833
Overground, underground, wombling free
621
00:51:42,901 --> 00:51:45,454
The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we
622
00:51:45,525 --> 00:51:47,347
Give him the drill, Bulgaria.
623
00:51:47,732 --> 00:51:50,700
Enough already.
You take the croquet. Capisce?
624
00:51:50,772 --> 00:51:52,082
-Capisce.
-I gotta wheel.
625
00:51:52,149 --> 00:51:53,971
Every morning, 9:00, be there.
626
00:52:07,765 --> 00:52:08,975
Bulgaria?
627
00:52:09,429 --> 00:52:11,283
I told you before,
these are your responsibility.
628
00:52:11,349 --> 00:52:12,690
You're head Womble here.
629
00:52:12,757 --> 00:52:14,829
-Well, that's this.... Fuck!
-Fuck!
630
00:52:14,900 --> 00:52:16,656
I'll give you RAF.
631
00:52:16,724 --> 00:52:18,131
I broke no fucking mallet!
632
00:52:18,196 --> 00:52:20,782
-I broke no fucking mallet!
-Keep away from me.
633
00:52:21,140 --> 00:52:22,123
Put that down!
634
00:52:22,196 --> 00:52:24,880
I'll break it across your back, you bollocks!
635
00:52:24,980 --> 00:52:27,184
I'll bust it....
636
00:52:31,220 --> 00:52:32,780
"You broke the mallet," he says.
637
00:52:32,852 --> 00:52:36,148
"I'll have to dock it from your pay."
I broke no fucking mallet.
638
00:52:36,213 --> 00:52:37,620
You fucked me one last time.
639
00:52:37,684 --> 00:52:39,571
RAF, my bollocks! That's the end of the line!
640
00:52:39,637 --> 00:52:41,295
Enough of that, John Joe.
641
00:52:42,452 --> 00:52:43,729
Back off, motherfucker.
642
00:52:43,797 --> 00:52:45,324
You don't know
what you're dealing with here!
643
00:52:45,397 --> 00:52:47,404
Back in the can,
you wanna know what they used to say?
644
00:52:47,477 --> 00:52:49,997
"Stay away, man.
He's out where the buses don't run!"
645
00:52:50,068 --> 00:52:53,483
-You're out of your league here, friend.
-Oh, not that again.
646
00:52:54,324 --> 00:52:55,633
You have to show them where you stand.
647
00:52:55,700 --> 00:52:57,872
They fuck with you, you fuck with them.
648
00:52:57,941 --> 00:53:00,428
You fuck them so bad
you make them wish they'd never been born.
649
00:53:00,500 --> 00:53:03,402
-You want another shot?
-I'd love a Babycham.
650
00:53:03,957 --> 00:53:05,779
You got it, kemo sabe.
651
00:53:06,325 --> 00:53:09,227
Tommy, one Babycham, one Powers.
652
00:53:09,653 --> 00:53:10,700
Please.
653
00:53:10,773 --> 00:53:12,660
Two weeks' severance, in the paw.
654
00:53:12,724 --> 00:53:16,107
You fuck with John Joe Kenny,
that's one time you fuck too many.
655
00:53:16,820 --> 00:53:18,130
He's from Cavan.
656
00:53:18,453 --> 00:53:20,820
So, where's Cavan?
657
00:53:20,884 --> 00:53:22,411
Next to Monaghan.
658
00:53:23,924 --> 00:53:26,859
I'm going for a womble.
If you want to come, give us a shout, right?
659
00:53:26,933 --> 00:53:28,339
Really, Uncle Bulgaria.
660
00:53:28,405 --> 00:53:31,154
Underground, overground, wombling free
661
00:53:31,220 --> 00:53:34,352
The Wombles of Wimbledon Common are we
662
00:53:34,421 --> 00:53:37,203
Underground, overground, wombling free
663
00:53:37,268 --> 00:53:39,635
I was a Womble one time.
Did you know that?
664
00:53:42,580 --> 00:53:44,587
Hey, you can't sleep here, love.
665
00:53:45,556 --> 00:53:47,444
Have you got a home to go to?
666
00:53:48,917 --> 00:53:50,673
You can get a cab outside.
667
00:53:51,797 --> 00:53:56,434
Oh, I do believe I have a small, elfin
dwelling on Wimbledon Common.
668
00:54:07,092 --> 00:54:08,041
Oi!
669
00:54:08,852 --> 00:54:10,892
You doing business,
do it somewhere else, love.
670
00:54:10,964 --> 00:54:12,655
This pavement's got my name on it.
671
00:54:12,724 --> 00:54:14,960
What, pray, is your name? Concrete?
672
00:54:15,668 --> 00:54:18,538
My name is Scratch Your Eyes Out,
Bite Your Bleeding Nose Off...
673
00:54:18,612 --> 00:54:21,394
which is what I'll do
if you don't get off my patch.
674
00:54:22,421 --> 00:54:23,730
All right, lover?
675
00:54:24,532 --> 00:54:26,059
She giving you trouble, son?
676
00:54:26,132 --> 00:54:29,099
Oh, no trouble at all.
We were just exchanging names.
677
00:54:30,516 --> 00:54:33,101
Go on, you fucking nancy boy!
678
00:54:33,300 --> 00:54:35,536
Don't fucking come back!
679
00:54:35,636 --> 00:54:39,498
And her name is Scratch Your Eyes Out
and Bite Your Bleeding Nose Off.
680
00:54:39,572 --> 00:54:42,027
And my name is Patricia Kitten Braden.
681
00:54:42,229 --> 00:54:44,978
Pleased to meet you, Patricia Kitten Braden.
682
00:54:46,324 --> 00:54:48,211
Just what were you doing back there?
683
00:54:48,276 --> 00:54:50,186
I was looking for the Phantom Lady.
684
00:54:50,261 --> 00:54:52,170
You found the right street, then.
685
00:54:52,244 --> 00:54:55,091
Why, what's it called? Phantom Lady Street?
686
00:54:55,220 --> 00:54:58,602
You could call it that.
And just who is this Phantom Lady?
687
00:54:58,868 --> 00:55:01,715
Well, it's my mother, really. I call her that.
688
00:55:01,844 --> 00:55:05,706
To pretend it's a story
that's happening to someone else, you see.
689
00:55:05,780 --> 00:55:07,536
And why do you pretend that?
690
00:55:07,604 --> 00:55:10,222
Because otherwise I might cry
and never stop.
691
00:55:10,612 --> 00:55:12,882
If you cried, I'd make you stop.
692
00:55:13,236 --> 00:55:14,643
Oh, you would?
693
00:55:14,869 --> 00:55:16,756
Oh, how kind, kind sir.
694
00:55:17,588 --> 00:55:19,792
Yes, I'd definitely make you stop.
695
00:55:24,628 --> 00:55:26,635
And just what is it you do, then?
696
00:55:26,997 --> 00:55:30,313
Oh, this and that. Showbiz, kind of. Singing.
697
00:55:31,252 --> 00:55:34,732
-What do you like to sing about?
-I sing about true love.
698
00:55:35,412 --> 00:55:36,689
That's nice.
699
00:55:37,332 --> 00:55:38,893
Have you ever found it?
700
00:55:40,437 --> 00:55:42,804
I thought I had, once.
701
00:55:45,780 --> 00:55:47,504
Here's one about true love.
702
00:55:51,764 --> 00:55:53,258
Ever heard this one?
703
00:55:55,124 --> 00:55:56,433
Nice, isn't it?
704
00:55:57,172 --> 00:55:59,179
I just love love songs.
705
00:56:03,540 --> 00:56:04,652
Take it off.
706
00:56:06,836 --> 00:56:09,706
-Don't you like it?
-Take it off, there's a good lad.
707
00:56:12,276 --> 00:56:14,098
As you wish, sir.
708
00:56:20,757 --> 00:56:23,212
-Now, isn't that more comfortable?
-Yes, sir.
709
00:56:25,396 --> 00:56:28,299
Of course it is, my love-Ioving friend.
710
00:56:29,812 --> 00:56:32,976
Here, feel that.
711
00:56:37,236 --> 00:56:39,374
Good old-fashioned silk.
712
00:56:39,572 --> 00:56:42,441
-Here you are.
-Thank you.
713
00:56:50,708 --> 00:56:52,017
It's beautiful.
714
00:56:55,124 --> 00:56:57,807
-You like it?
-It's beautiful.
715
00:56:58,612 --> 00:56:59,856
Like it?
716
00:57:10,612 --> 00:57:14,573
But did true love save Kitten
from the hands of the beast...
717
00:57:14,644 --> 00:57:16,913
in that worst of all fairy tales?
718
00:57:16,980 --> 00:57:19,664
No, what saved Kitten...
719
00:57:19,732 --> 00:57:22,187
was her precious perfume spray...
720
00:57:22,452 --> 00:57:26,161
bought for £2.99
in Roches Stores on Henry Street...
721
00:57:26,228 --> 00:57:28,948
before she left her beloved Emerald Isle.
722
00:57:39,156 --> 00:57:40,105
Hello.
723
00:57:42,548 --> 00:57:43,661
I'm sorry to interrupt...
724
00:57:43,732 --> 00:57:46,634
but are you all right, miss?
725
00:57:49,268 --> 00:57:51,024
Yes, fine, thank you.
726
00:57:51,668 --> 00:57:54,767
Just tired after my hard day's work.
727
00:57:55,797 --> 00:57:58,349
You have been sitting there
for four hours now.
728
00:58:00,692 --> 00:58:03,081
Yes, busy at my desk.
729
00:58:04,468 --> 00:58:06,126
Busy at your desk?
730
00:58:08,980 --> 00:58:10,606
Writing my little book.
731
00:58:12,468 --> 00:58:13,843
Your little book?
732
00:58:16,308 --> 00:58:17,683
What type of book?
733
00:58:21,268 --> 00:58:22,512
Well, it's a....
734
00:58:22,580 --> 00:58:25,547
It's a mystery thriller, sir.
735
00:58:25,620 --> 00:58:27,660
About a woman who disappears.
736
00:58:29,396 --> 00:58:32,015
May I ask what it's called?
737
00:58:34,004 --> 00:58:35,214
Yes.
738
00:58:35,860 --> 00:58:37,071
It's called...
739
00:58:38,836 --> 00:58:40,494
Footprints in the Custard.
740
00:58:44,308 --> 00:58:47,025
No, I'm only joking.
It doesn't have a name yet...
741
00:58:47,220 --> 00:58:50,930
because I don't know what's gonna happen
if the mystery is ever solved.
742
00:58:51,668 --> 00:58:53,294
But the lady has a name?
743
00:58:55,156 --> 00:58:56,531
Phantom Lady.
744
00:58:57,812 --> 00:58:59,186
"Phantom Lady."
745
00:59:01,844 --> 00:59:05,521
No, her real name's Eily Bergin.
She was my mother.
746
00:59:05,652 --> 00:59:07,212
-Your mother?
-Yeah.
747
00:59:07,284 --> 00:59:09,324
And then she went away
to the city of all cities...
748
00:59:09,396 --> 00:59:11,600
that never sleeps from dusk till dawn.
749
00:59:11,924 --> 00:59:15,819
-So, you think she's here in London?
-No, I know she's here in London.
750
00:59:15,892 --> 00:59:17,201
Fantastic!
751
00:59:18,836 --> 00:59:21,356
The fantastic tale of Eily Bergin.
752
00:59:21,972 --> 00:59:23,914
I can't wait to hear the ending.
753
00:59:24,340 --> 00:59:28,169
-But you haven't even heard the start.
-I can't wait to hear that, either.
754
00:59:30,164 --> 00:59:33,459
-So, are you a writer, too, then, sir?
-Oh, good Lord, no.
755
00:59:35,700 --> 00:59:38,350
But something similar, maybe.
756
00:59:38,580 --> 00:59:41,841
Something similar?
I wonder what that could be.
757
00:59:48,212 --> 00:59:49,739
You're a magician!
758
00:59:50,708 --> 00:59:53,163
Bertie Vaughan at your service.
759
00:59:54,964 --> 00:59:58,510
Now, the first thing that has to be said,
Bertie dearest...
760
00:59:58,772 --> 01:00:02,962
is that you bear absolutely no resemblance
to Marlon "Margarine" Brando.
761
01:00:03,508 --> 01:00:05,231
We all have our off days.
762
01:00:06,900 --> 01:00:09,551
So, tell me more about the Phantom Lady.
763
01:00:09,876 --> 01:00:12,015
Why? What's in it for me?
764
01:00:12,276 --> 01:00:14,283
I'll take you to see my show.
765
01:00:14,452 --> 01:00:17,037
Oh, it's a deal, Magic.
766
01:00:17,171 --> 01:00:21,711
So, where were we? Yes, the Phantom Lady.
767
01:00:21,908 --> 01:00:24,275
Eily Bergin had just arrived in Dublin...
768
01:00:24,340 --> 01:00:28,235
and just realized that her boat
didn't sail for another four hours.
769
01:00:38,804 --> 01:00:40,626
Lo and behold, not a scratch.
770
01:00:40,948 --> 01:00:42,322
Thank you, my dear.
771
01:00:44,308 --> 01:00:45,485
Pick a card.
772
01:00:46,228 --> 01:00:47,210
Anyone?
773
01:00:47,828 --> 01:00:49,738
Come along, madam, pick a card.
774
01:00:49,876 --> 01:00:51,217
Any card.
775
01:00:55,956 --> 01:00:59,218
-Oh, my God!
-Oh, yes, blimey.
776
01:00:59,284 --> 01:01:00,778
"Oh, my God" is right.
777
01:01:00,852 --> 01:01:04,627
I do believe you've chosen the 101 of hearts.
778
01:01:04,692 --> 01:01:07,113
Thank you, my dear, I'll take care of that.
779
01:01:10,036 --> 01:01:11,497
Time, of course.
780
01:01:11,924 --> 01:01:13,647
The time.
781
01:01:13,716 --> 01:01:16,912
Looks like it's up, you lovely people.
782
01:01:17,651 --> 01:01:21,034
Come on, help me, please, my loves.
783
01:01:21,876 --> 01:01:26,665
Anyone out there
willing to encounter the great watch?
784
01:01:32,020 --> 01:01:33,842
-Hello, young lady.
-Hello.
785
01:01:34,612 --> 01:01:38,060
And what's the story
behind those beautiful blue eyes?
786
01:01:41,299 --> 01:01:45,969
-What's your name, young lady?
-Patricia Kitten Braden.
787
01:01:46,228 --> 01:01:49,228
-And where are you from, my dear?
-Ireland.
788
01:01:49,524 --> 01:01:52,655
Keep your eye on the watch, young Patricia.
789
01:01:54,260 --> 01:01:56,016
The whole world is in there.
790
01:01:57,875 --> 01:01:59,566
Tick-tock.
791
01:02:01,556 --> 01:02:03,760
Swing-swong.
792
01:02:05,332 --> 01:02:07,023
And, dare I say it...
793
01:02:07,636 --> 01:02:09,326
ding-dong.
794
01:02:10,548 --> 01:02:14,345
And let the great watch guide you.
795
01:02:26,323 --> 01:02:29,007
And what brings you
to our great metropolis?
796
01:02:29,651 --> 01:02:31,342
I'm looking for my mammy.
797
01:02:31,988 --> 01:02:34,835
Oh. And where did Mummy go?
798
01:02:35,763 --> 01:02:39,408
-The city swallowed her up.
-Oh, fancy that.
799
01:02:39,763 --> 01:02:42,000
Well, it will do that to people.
800
01:02:43,636 --> 01:02:46,222
But do you know what, Patricia?
801
01:02:47,060 --> 01:02:49,777
-I think I see your mother.
-Where?
802
01:02:49,876 --> 01:02:52,942
Why, down there
by that table by the jukebox.
803
01:02:53,524 --> 01:02:54,985
Mammy!
804
01:02:58,324 --> 01:03:00,909
On second thoughts, Patricia...
805
01:03:00,979 --> 01:03:03,663
she's not your mother,
she's your great-aunt Ida.
806
01:03:03,956 --> 01:03:06,160
That's your mother over there.
807
01:03:06,580 --> 01:03:07,857
Mammy?
808
01:03:09,332 --> 01:03:10,739
Mammy!
809
01:03:11,380 --> 01:03:12,493
Oh, Mammy.
810
01:03:15,635 --> 01:03:16,879
Actually...
811
01:03:16,947 --> 01:03:21,454
Patricia, that's your second cousin Ronnie,
just out of the Scrubs.
812
01:03:22,676 --> 01:03:24,017
In fact...
813
01:03:25,204 --> 01:03:27,309
your mummy is right up here.
814
01:03:28,979 --> 01:03:30,703
Up here on stage.
815
01:03:31,572 --> 01:03:33,230
Come to Mummy.
816
01:03:34,260 --> 01:03:36,115
Come to Mummy.
817
01:03:36,884 --> 01:03:38,706
Come to Mummy.
818
01:03:38,931 --> 01:03:40,841
Come to Mummy.
819
01:03:41,203 --> 01:03:44,749
You love your mummy and your poppy.
820
01:03:46,228 --> 01:03:48,432
Good to have you back, darling.
821
01:03:49,012 --> 01:03:50,921
And Mummy's never leaving again.
822
01:03:50,996 --> 01:03:52,174
Never.
823
01:03:53,300 --> 01:03:54,282
Never.
824
01:03:55,091 --> 01:03:57,360
Never, I promise. Never.
825
01:04:17,523 --> 01:04:20,044
Just call me Old Sawbones.
826
01:04:28,788 --> 01:04:31,471
-You all right, dear?
-Yes.
827
01:04:43,251 --> 01:04:46,547
Those of a nervous disposition...
828
01:04:46,612 --> 01:04:49,961
should now close their eyes.
829
01:04:54,356 --> 01:04:55,501
Oh, dear.
830
01:05:03,348 --> 01:05:05,071
Are you all right, Kitten?
831
01:05:06,547 --> 01:05:09,068
No, I'm actually quite heartbroken.
832
01:05:14,996 --> 01:05:17,068
I think I see the problem.
833
01:05:41,268 --> 01:05:43,569
Gee, thanks, Cupid.
834
01:05:53,913 --> 01:05:56,596
And the other thing
about the Phantom Lady was, Bertie...
835
01:05:56,665 --> 01:06:00,211
she realized, in the city that never sleeps....
836
01:06:00,281 --> 01:06:02,190
What did she realize, Kitten?
837
01:06:02,393 --> 01:06:06,386
That all the songs that she'd listened to,
all the love songs...
838
01:06:06,905 --> 01:06:09,076
well, they were only songs.
839
01:06:09,208 --> 01:06:12,624
-What's wrong with that?
-Nothing, if you don't believe in them.
840
01:06:13,593 --> 01:06:15,251
But she did, you see.
841
01:06:15,320 --> 01:06:17,873
She believed in enchanted evenings...
842
01:06:17,944 --> 01:06:21,873
and she believed that a small cloud
passed overhead...
843
01:06:21,945 --> 01:06:24,400
and cried down on her flowerbed.
844
01:06:24,761 --> 01:06:28,209
And she even believed
there was breakfast to be had.
845
01:06:28,281 --> 01:06:29,229
Where?
846
01:06:30,328 --> 01:06:31,474
On Pluto.
847
01:06:32,377 --> 01:06:36,119
The mysterious, icy wastes of Pluto.
848
01:06:38,585 --> 01:06:42,360
You know, Kitten,
I made a decision a long time ago.
849
01:06:43,481 --> 01:06:45,041
What decision was that?
850
01:06:46,136 --> 01:06:49,911
That I wasn't destined
for the sentimental side of things.
851
01:06:51,641 --> 01:06:52,590
But....
852
01:06:53,273 --> 01:06:57,364
But if I did let myself ever fall for someone...
853
01:06:58,905 --> 01:07:00,880
I think it would be a girl like you.
854
01:07:00,953 --> 01:07:03,670
Bertie, please, I have to stop you.
There's something you should know.
855
01:07:03,737 --> 01:07:06,290
Or maybe what I should say is...
856
01:07:07,961 --> 01:07:09,554
it would be a girl...
857
01:07:11,161 --> 01:07:14,128
-not a million miles away from...
-No, please don't.
858
01:07:14,265 --> 01:07:15,792
...where I'm standing.
859
01:07:17,368 --> 01:07:18,317
No.
860
01:07:21,849 --> 01:07:23,736
What's the matter, princess?
861
01:07:25,945 --> 01:07:28,279
Well, you see, the thing is, Bertie...
862
01:07:29,753 --> 01:07:31,127
I'm not....
863
01:07:31,321 --> 01:07:32,269
Yes?
864
01:07:35,129 --> 01:07:36,558
I'm not a girl.
865
01:07:37,433 --> 01:07:39,320
Oh, I knew that, princess.
866
01:07:40,729 --> 01:07:43,118
-You did?
-Of course.
867
01:07:44,344 --> 01:07:45,751
What I said was...
868
01:07:47,065 --> 01:07:49,170
it would be a girl like you.
869
01:07:57,849 --> 01:08:00,751
I do believe I see Mummy over there.
870
01:08:03,609 --> 01:08:04,918
Mammy!
871
01:08:08,825 --> 01:08:12,851
Actually, she's just walked in. There.
872
01:08:16,441 --> 01:08:17,684
Mammy! Mammy.
873
01:08:18,296 --> 01:08:19,605
Bastards!
874
01:08:20,728 --> 01:08:22,583
Think you can make fun of her?
875
01:08:23,801 --> 01:08:25,295
You're coming with me.
876
01:08:29,081 --> 01:08:30,095
Wait!
877
01:08:30,489 --> 01:08:31,983
Please don't leave me.
878
01:08:32,921 --> 01:08:34,830
What about the Prince of Magic?
879
01:08:35,257 --> 01:08:38,192
-Please don't go.
-Some fucking Prince of Magic.
880
01:08:38,297 --> 01:08:41,079
No, maybe I should....
He doesn't mean bad, Charlie.
881
01:08:41,144 --> 01:08:43,894
For Christ's sake, Paddy,
what is happening to you?
882
01:08:44,728 --> 01:08:45,906
Kitten!
883
01:09:11,833 --> 01:09:12,880
Excuse me.
884
01:09:19,833 --> 01:09:22,353
John Joe. John Joe!
885
01:09:22,585 --> 01:09:23,533
John Joe!
886
01:09:25,048 --> 01:09:26,510
Not a Womble anymore.
887
01:09:27,257 --> 01:09:31,054
Don't talk to me about fucking Wombles!
I'm in the Tower of London now.
888
01:09:32,345 --> 01:09:36,600
Thirty smackers in the paw, boy,
no questions asked.
889
01:09:36,697 --> 01:09:38,584
Hey, they're looking
for a Mary Queen of Scots.
890
01:09:38,648 --> 01:09:41,747
-Would you be up for it?
-They'd chop my head off, surely.
891
01:09:42,168 --> 01:09:44,273
And here's the man to do it for you.
892
01:09:45,976 --> 01:09:47,318
Smiley, huh?
893
01:10:25,624 --> 01:10:26,998
Where's Irwin gone?
894
01:10:27,896 --> 01:10:30,416
Him and his fucking revolution.
895
01:10:42,968 --> 01:10:45,554
-How'd you carry it?
-Bottom of my sleeping bag.
896
01:10:47,737 --> 01:10:50,158
There won't be much sleeping
with this baby.
897
01:10:51,256 --> 01:10:53,111
So you haven't seen her, then?
898
01:10:55,384 --> 01:10:56,977
She's here, though, somewhere.
899
01:10:57,048 --> 01:10:59,121
I know it. I just know it, Charlie.
900
01:10:59,769 --> 01:11:01,230
Big fucking city.
901
01:11:02,968 --> 01:11:04,692
I'm losing Irwin, you know.
902
01:11:05,848 --> 01:11:06,863
How?
903
01:11:07,768 --> 01:11:10,616
He's up to something. I know it.
904
01:11:12,472 --> 01:11:14,033
He's got these secrets.
905
01:11:16,152 --> 01:11:18,007
So why did you come over, Charlie?
906
01:11:18,072 --> 01:11:19,665
Wasn't just to see me.
907
01:11:21,145 --> 01:11:23,185
Was it something to do with Irwin?
908
01:11:25,529 --> 01:11:26,936
You might say that.
909
01:11:30,777 --> 01:11:31,954
I'm pregnant.
910
01:11:36,345 --> 01:11:37,938
Oh, Jesus, Charlie.
911
01:11:39,704 --> 01:11:40,882
Does he know?
912
01:11:42,713 --> 01:11:44,469
You know all he knows about.
913
01:11:45,624 --> 01:11:46,999
Or cares.
914
01:11:55,672 --> 01:11:58,061
But you didn't come here to have the baby?
915
01:12:01,016 --> 01:12:02,838
I came here to get rid of it.
916
01:12:10,201 --> 01:12:12,056
You have to tell him, Charlie.
917
01:12:13,337 --> 01:12:14,581
I can't.
918
01:12:15,609 --> 01:12:17,332
He's all fucked up. He's....
919
01:12:19,576 --> 01:12:22,544
So, how are the homeless?
920
01:12:24,312 --> 01:12:25,654
Homeless are fine.
921
01:12:26,392 --> 01:12:28,759
That's what keeps him out late, Kitten...
922
01:12:29,401 --> 01:12:31,059
working with the homeless.
923
01:12:31,769 --> 01:12:32,979
Right, Irwin?
924
01:12:49,877 --> 01:12:52,692
-I can't have it, can I, Paddy?
-No.
925
01:12:54,165 --> 01:12:55,823
No, you can't.
926
01:12:58,805 --> 01:13:01,009
Irwin's involved in shit
I don't wanna think about.
927
01:13:01,077 --> 01:13:02,189
I know.
928
01:13:02,549 --> 01:13:06,095
What would it turn out like, Paddy?
You know what I mean, don't you?
929
01:13:07,220 --> 01:13:11,017
It'd be an absolute disaster, like me.
930
01:13:13,493 --> 01:13:16,940
Now, I want you to read this leaflet.
931
01:13:17,269 --> 01:13:20,303
It outlines all aspects
of the termination procedure.
932
01:13:21,333 --> 01:13:22,445
Termination?
933
01:13:23,188 --> 01:13:26,418
-You mean this is an abortion clinic?
-Yes, of course it is.
934
01:13:27,541 --> 01:13:29,842
I thought it was a fertility clinic.
935
01:13:36,597 --> 01:13:38,931
I think she changed her mind. Thank you.
936
01:13:48,148 --> 01:13:50,767
You said it'd be a disaster, like you.
937
01:13:51,349 --> 01:13:53,585
Worse, probably.
938
01:13:54,101 --> 01:13:58,444
-But I love you, you fucking disaster.
-Oh, Charlie.
939
01:14:05,269 --> 01:14:08,303
-Promise you won't get lost again?
-I promise.
940
01:14:10,101 --> 01:14:11,049
Tell him.
941
01:14:12,693 --> 01:14:13,871
Tell me what?
942
01:14:14,901 --> 01:14:18,097
Charlie's joining the Sandinistas.
Aren't you, Charlie?
943
01:14:18,197 --> 01:14:21,132
-Sandinistas?
-They're a rock band.
944
01:14:21,205 --> 01:14:23,823
-Aren't they, Charlie?
-Where can I reach you?
945
01:14:26,037 --> 01:14:27,826
Try Cambridge Circus.
946
01:14:41,973 --> 01:14:43,533
See you, Paddy.
947
01:15:31,924 --> 01:15:35,634
-You and me, darling. What do you say?
-I don't quite know what to say.
948
01:15:37,940 --> 01:15:39,501
Christ, you're a bloke!
949
01:15:39,573 --> 01:15:42,093
Ten out of ten, Sherlock.
950
01:16:02,292 --> 01:16:04,180
You fancy a drink or something?
951
01:16:06,132 --> 01:16:08,980
Campari and soda, if you don't mind.
952
01:16:09,172 --> 01:16:10,547
Of course I don't.
953
01:16:10,613 --> 01:16:12,882
Wouldn't have asked you otherwise,
would I?
954
01:16:12,949 --> 01:16:14,859
Campari and soda, please, mate.
955
01:16:20,532 --> 01:16:21,939
There you go, mate.
956
01:16:22,997 --> 01:16:23,945
Cheers.
957
01:16:29,717 --> 01:16:30,764
Thank you.
958
01:16:32,981 --> 01:16:36,177
-Crowded tonight.
-Oh, yes.
959
01:16:36,244 --> 01:16:39,659
-Football supporters?
-No, Royal Engineers.
960
01:16:39,829 --> 01:16:41,552
Oh, soldiers.
961
01:16:41,812 --> 01:16:43,917
Just come back from a tour of duty.
962
01:16:44,180 --> 01:16:48,010
-Aden? Cyprus? No, let me guess.
-Fucking Ulster.
963
01:16:50,069 --> 01:16:52,011
I haven't got anything
against the Irish, though, mind.
964
01:16:52,085 --> 01:16:55,500
-I hear they're very friendly.
-Don't know. Maybe.
965
01:16:57,972 --> 01:17:01,289
It's the politicians what fuck it up, though,
isn't it?
966
01:17:05,013 --> 01:17:06,638
Do you wanna dance?
967
01:17:08,309 --> 01:17:09,869
Yes, I'd love to.
968
01:17:23,956 --> 01:17:27,186
-You okay?
-Oh, yes. Super.
969
01:17:28,917 --> 01:17:30,989
You seem a little bit tense.
970
01:17:34,229 --> 01:17:36,203
Would you do something for me?
971
01:17:37,173 --> 01:17:38,482
Yeah, of course.
972
01:17:41,076 --> 01:17:43,531
Would you pretend your name's Bobby?
973
01:17:44,757 --> 01:17:45,772
Bobby who?
974
01:17:47,637 --> 01:17:49,044
Bobby Goldsboro.
975
01:17:51,028 --> 01:17:52,850
It's his song, you see.
976
01:17:54,645 --> 01:17:56,205
Bobby it is, then.
977
01:17:57,492 --> 01:18:01,486
All you have to do is plant a little tree...
978
01:18:01,813 --> 01:18:04,333
surprise me with a puppy...
979
01:18:05,045 --> 01:18:06,899
I'll hug your neck.
980
01:18:55,860 --> 01:18:58,032
Back. Go to the back end.
981
01:18:58,580 --> 01:19:00,435
Get as many men down as you can.
982
01:19:00,500 --> 01:19:02,442
All right, my love,
we're gonna get you out of here.
983
01:19:02,517 --> 01:19:04,939
Come on, my love. Can you stand?
984
01:19:08,053 --> 01:19:09,263
That's it.
985
01:19:09,333 --> 01:19:11,188
As many people as we can get out
through the door.
986
01:19:11,253 --> 01:19:12,813
Take my shoulder, love.
987
01:19:12,917 --> 01:19:14,739
You're all right, mate, I've got you.
988
01:19:14,804 --> 01:19:15,819
My tights.
989
01:19:15,893 --> 01:19:17,486
-Easy, easy.
-Steady down there. Steady.
990
01:19:17,557 --> 01:19:19,182
My tights! They're in ribbons.
991
01:19:19,252 --> 01:19:21,674
You're alive, love, that's the main thing.
Come on.
992
01:19:21,749 --> 01:19:24,204
I know what I'll have to do,
I'll have to get a new pair.
993
01:19:24,277 --> 01:19:26,611
There's no other way, I'm afraid.
994
01:19:29,685 --> 01:19:31,507
Keep still, darling.
Don't try and move, okay?
995
01:19:31,572 --> 01:19:33,612
Please, let us through now!
996
01:19:33,716 --> 01:19:35,026
Watch out.
997
01:19:36,309 --> 01:19:39,243
-I told you, from my best side, darlings.
-Bring the other ambulance.
998
01:19:39,316 --> 01:19:40,625
Slow down.
999
01:19:40,949 --> 01:19:42,771
That's it. Slowly now.
1000
01:19:43,700 --> 01:19:46,547
Come on, get out of the way, please!
Come on.
1001
01:19:46,965 --> 01:19:50,260
-Out of the way.
-Please, nurse, he's in so much pain.
1002
01:19:51,829 --> 01:19:55,124
No, they're Christian Dior.
Do you really have to?
1003
01:20:04,436 --> 01:20:08,714
How silly can you get,
putting an "X" across my weenie.
1004
01:20:08,789 --> 01:20:13,578
Not so silly as 11 fucking people
blown to pieces...
1005
01:20:13,653 --> 01:20:15,376
you twisted little cunt!
1006
01:20:15,444 --> 01:20:18,925
Fucking baby-faced, fucking Irish murderer!
1007
01:20:22,549 --> 01:20:24,785
I'm sorry, did you call?
1008
01:20:25,781 --> 01:20:29,359
I can't quite see where you are.
I'm over here, you see.
1009
01:20:30,069 --> 01:20:33,713
Millions of miles up here
with Sirius guarding my head.
1010
01:20:33,780 --> 01:20:35,984
Tell him what he wants to know!
1011
01:20:36,597 --> 01:20:39,979
It's free. Everyone thinks it's cold up here...
1012
01:20:40,052 --> 01:20:41,459
but it's actually quite warm.
1013
01:20:41,524 --> 01:20:44,907
Yes, it's warm as toast up on Pluto.
1014
01:20:45,204 --> 01:20:46,153
Pluto.
1015
01:20:48,084 --> 01:20:51,914
Don't try the fucking blarney on us, Paddy!
1016
01:20:51,989 --> 01:20:55,022
We know you planted the fucking bomb!
1017
01:20:55,348 --> 01:20:57,650
But of course I did, my darling.
1018
01:20:57,717 --> 01:21:00,019
Why, I've planted hundreds of them.
1019
01:21:00,085 --> 01:21:02,987
Have you now? Well, plant this!
1020
01:21:07,509 --> 01:21:09,363
Hello, officer.
1021
01:21:09,877 --> 01:21:11,305
I'm over here.
1022
01:21:11,540 --> 01:21:14,126
Just take a left at the Milky Way.
1023
01:21:14,548 --> 01:21:17,810
We'll travel to Mars and visit
1024
01:21:17,877 --> 01:21:19,949
Christ, I can't fucking stand this!
1025
01:21:20,020 --> 01:21:24,527
Listen, son,
why don't you just make a statement?
1026
01:21:26,068 --> 01:21:29,199
A statement, officer?
Why didn't you just say so?
1027
01:21:29,268 --> 01:21:33,065
Attaboy. There's no point
making it hard for all of us.
1028
01:21:33,140 --> 01:21:36,620
Of course not.
After all, we're all friends here.
1029
01:21:43,029 --> 01:21:47,785
Let's start with where you were
on Thursday, October 17th.
1030
01:21:49,524 --> 01:21:53,867
I was in my little cell
working with my active service unit.
1031
01:21:54,484 --> 01:21:56,589
But I was working undercover.
1032
01:21:57,173 --> 01:21:58,514
Undercover?
1033
01:22:03,893 --> 01:22:07,209
Oh, it's all coming back to me now.
Pen and paper, please.
1034
01:22:16,116 --> 01:22:20,372
Patricia Kitten, a.k.a. Deep Throat...
1035
01:22:20,436 --> 01:22:24,943
had penetrated the deepest recesses
of the Republican sphincter...
1036
01:22:27,541 --> 01:22:30,704
with her secret anti-terrorist spray...
1037
01:22:30,900 --> 01:22:34,926
named after Gabrielle Coco Chanel's
lucky number.
1038
01:22:37,204 --> 01:22:39,408
The stability of Semtex
will be compromised.
1039
01:22:39,477 --> 01:22:42,641
Oh, but, Lord, was she sick of that black.
1040
01:22:44,277 --> 01:22:47,626
What is it with freedom fighters
and couture anyway?
1041
01:23:01,780 --> 01:23:03,984
You've got fuse support and booster charge.
1042
01:23:04,052 --> 01:23:06,802
What can I say?
We've got here the pressure plate--
1043
01:23:15,093 --> 01:23:16,173
Stop
1044
01:23:59,284 --> 01:24:01,008
Is there anyone here?
1045
01:24:01,108 --> 01:24:02,996
Why won't he just talk to us?
1046
01:24:03,060 --> 01:24:05,995
Did he or didn't he, dressed as a woman,
get caught by his own bomb?
1047
01:24:06,068 --> 01:24:08,883
We've held him six days now.
Seven's the max.
1048
01:24:19,636 --> 01:24:20,781
Paddy?
1049
01:24:22,708 --> 01:24:26,320
-You all right?
-Fine. Absolutely wonderful.
1050
01:24:27,860 --> 01:24:31,405
Meet us halfway, will you, Paddy?
Tell us why you came over here.
1051
01:24:32,692 --> 01:24:34,864
Well, I was just looking for someone.
1052
01:24:34,932 --> 01:24:38,248
-I was just looking for Eily Bergin.
-Who's Eily Bergin, Paddy?
1053
01:24:40,244 --> 01:24:42,131
She's gone undercover now.
1054
01:24:42,196 --> 01:24:44,717
The biggest city in the world
swallowed her up.
1055
01:24:44,788 --> 01:24:47,603
Could she help us
with our inquiries, Paddy?
1056
01:24:47,796 --> 01:24:49,007
She could help me with mine.
1057
01:24:49,077 --> 01:24:51,924
Do you want us to find her?
Have you got an address?
1058
01:24:53,460 --> 01:24:56,876
-You could try The House That Vanished.
-The House That Vanished.
1059
01:24:58,260 --> 01:25:02,057
Oh, Christ. I think we're all losing it.
1060
01:25:10,068 --> 01:25:13,712
We're gonna get some sleep now, Paddy.
We're gonna get some sleep.
1061
01:25:14,037 --> 01:25:17,931
Look, I think we may have made a mistake.
1062
01:25:19,348 --> 01:25:21,486
-Officer?
-What is it now?
1063
01:25:22,324 --> 01:25:26,480
If you came home from the office
and you found me lying on the floor...
1064
01:25:27,124 --> 01:25:30,571
-would you take me to the hospital?
-Well, of course I would.
1065
01:25:31,317 --> 01:25:33,772
And would you carry me
like you're doing now?
1066
01:25:34,388 --> 01:25:35,697
Well, yeah.
1067
01:25:36,276 --> 01:25:40,945
So if I wasn't a transvestite terrorist,
would you marry me?
1068
01:25:41,556 --> 01:25:43,378
No, for fuck's sake.
1069
01:25:51,444 --> 01:25:54,543
Well, is Officer Wallis
gonna be a happy man or what?
1070
01:25:54,612 --> 01:25:57,514
We've held you too long
by all accounts. Look.
1071
01:25:59,412 --> 01:26:00,972
Oh, no, you can't.
1072
01:26:01,556 --> 01:26:04,273
You can't. Not when I'm settling in so well.
1073
01:26:08,948 --> 01:26:11,404
Take your head off my shoulder, son.
1074
01:26:14,676 --> 01:26:16,945
You don't understand, Paddy.
We can't keep you here.
1075
01:26:17,012 --> 01:26:18,899
It's impossible.
We couldn't even if we wanted to.
1076
01:26:18,964 --> 01:26:21,931
Fuck this, I'm going on a long holiday.
Wife says I need it.
1077
01:26:22,004 --> 01:26:23,214
Come on!
1078
01:26:23,284 --> 01:26:26,415
Come on, just for one day.
It wouldn't kill you.
1079
01:26:26,484 --> 01:26:28,492
Sorry, Paddy. It's impossible.
1080
01:26:28,917 --> 01:26:31,819
-Okay, a half-a-day, please?
-No.
1081
01:26:34,804 --> 01:26:36,909
Look, do you mind me asking?
1082
01:26:36,980 --> 01:26:40,624
I mean, why do you wanna....
I mean, it don't make any sense.
1083
01:26:41,108 --> 01:26:43,661
-It just makes me feel secure.
-Secure?
1084
01:26:43,988 --> 01:26:45,297
Yes, you see, in the cell...
1085
01:26:45,364 --> 01:26:49,041
sometimes I think my legs
are turning into air...
1086
01:26:49,204 --> 01:26:52,204
and I'm floating in space, and I'm all alone.
1087
01:26:52,340 --> 01:26:54,445
"Galactic aloneness," I've heard that called.
1088
01:26:54,516 --> 01:26:56,142
Please, Routledge.
1089
01:26:57,588 --> 01:26:59,311
I just wanna belong.
1090
01:27:00,660 --> 01:27:05,199
I'd be your best prisoner.
I'd cook and I'd clean and I'd sweep...
1091
01:27:05,268 --> 01:27:07,690
and I'd iron all the uniforms. I....
1092
01:27:08,468 --> 01:27:10,290
-Hey, Paddy!
-I just wanna....
1093
01:27:14,100 --> 01:27:16,369
No, I'm afraid it's goodbye now.
1094
01:27:23,764 --> 01:27:26,961
All right, go get that bus there.
1095
01:27:27,700 --> 01:27:28,812
Go on!
1096
01:27:39,668 --> 01:27:42,035
Jennifer Jones and William Holden.
1097
01:27:46,676 --> 01:27:48,913
Love Is a Many-Splendored Thing?
1098
01:27:52,340 --> 01:27:54,379
Have you ever been in love?
1099
01:27:59,092 --> 01:28:00,816
Once I thought I was.
1100
01:28:01,556 --> 01:28:03,247
He was a lucky man.
1101
01:28:07,668 --> 01:28:09,042
I'd pay you.
1102
01:28:11,604 --> 01:28:13,906
I'd give you whatever you wanted.
1103
01:28:15,508 --> 01:28:17,875
Whatever you wanted, I'd give you.
1104
01:29:14,996 --> 01:29:17,298
That's my mammy! That's my mammy!
1105
01:29:19,476 --> 01:29:21,199
Excuse me! Excuse me.
1106
01:29:22,452 --> 01:29:24,786
Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.
1107
01:29:28,468 --> 01:29:30,573
Excuse me. Excuse me, excuse me.
1108
01:29:40,884 --> 01:29:42,029
Hello!
1109
01:30:15,284 --> 01:30:18,033
Hello, sir. Can I be of assistance?
1110
01:30:18,100 --> 01:30:21,449
I don't do anything heavy,
but aside from that I'd be more....
1111
01:30:22,451 --> 01:30:24,590
I could have you arrested, you know.
1112
01:30:24,660 --> 01:30:26,831
Well, icky-oakie me.
1113
01:30:27,412 --> 01:30:28,557
Get in.
1114
01:30:32,532 --> 01:30:34,899
This is no life
for a young man like you, Patrick.
1115
01:30:34,964 --> 01:30:38,128
Well, cuff me then.
Carry me to my sweet cell.
1116
01:30:38,196 --> 01:30:39,144
No.
1117
01:30:40,052 --> 01:30:42,735
Oh, wait, you're not an actual punter,
are you? How exciting.
1118
01:30:42,804 --> 01:30:46,895
No, it's not.... It's not that either.
It's a lot more serious than that, Patrick.
1119
01:30:46,964 --> 01:30:50,379
Well, of course it is, of course it's serious.
Everything's serious.
1120
01:30:50,452 --> 01:30:52,786
Oh, you're gonna die out there, Paddy!
1121
01:30:56,788 --> 01:30:57,966
I know.
1122
01:31:03,444 --> 01:31:05,745
Why don't you try and get a regular job?
1123
01:31:06,324 --> 01:31:09,771
Well, to tell you the truth, Inspector,
I'm not that employable.
1124
01:31:09,843 --> 01:31:11,272
So I gathered.
1125
01:31:14,708 --> 01:31:16,137
Fucking hell.
1126
01:31:23,828 --> 01:31:25,257
Come with me.
1127
01:31:32,820 --> 01:31:36,235
A group of girls
got themselves off the street, Patrick.
1128
01:31:36,500 --> 01:31:37,994
Set up a co-op.
1129
01:31:38,740 --> 01:31:40,049
What do you mean, "co-op"?
1130
01:31:40,115 --> 01:31:43,596
You know, like.... Sort of like....
A union, you could call it.
1131
01:31:45,812 --> 01:31:46,957
Girls?
1132
01:31:48,243 --> 01:31:50,251
Hello. Come on.
1133
01:31:52,628 --> 01:31:55,410
It's not ideal, but it's safe...
1134
01:31:56,308 --> 01:31:57,518
and legal.
1135
01:31:57,588 --> 01:31:58,798
Casandra.
1136
01:32:00,468 --> 01:32:02,290
Goddess of Destruction.
1137
01:32:04,340 --> 01:32:06,828
-Girls? Hello.
-Hello.
1138
01:32:06,899 --> 01:32:07,979
This is Patrick.
1139
01:32:08,051 --> 01:32:09,480
-Hello, Patrick.
-Hello.
1140
01:32:09,556 --> 01:32:11,596
He's a friend of mine, so be gentle.
Hello, Sam.
1141
01:32:11,668 --> 01:32:14,385
We're always nice.
Patrick, do you wanna play poker?
1142
01:32:14,452 --> 01:32:15,761
Love poker.
1143
01:32:16,243 --> 01:32:17,967
-Yeah, we'll put him in.
-Are you all right?
1144
01:32:18,036 --> 01:32:20,818
-You'll be working with us?
-I hope so. If you'll have me.
1145
01:32:20,883 --> 01:32:22,160
We're a nice bunch here.
1146
01:32:22,228 --> 01:32:24,781
-No bitchiness or nothing here.
-Look at his hair.
1147
01:32:24,852 --> 01:32:26,892
-So where are you from?
-Cavan.
1148
01:32:26,964 --> 01:32:29,353
Very nice. I'm from Dublin.
You'll do well here.
1149
01:32:29,427 --> 01:32:32,329
You'll like us girls.
So you'll definitely like it here.
1150
01:32:37,748 --> 01:32:40,563
Dear Charlie, sorry I haven't been in touch...
1151
01:32:40,628 --> 01:32:43,246
and I hope that everything
is going fine with you.
1152
01:32:43,316 --> 01:32:45,007
How's the bump?
1153
01:32:45,076 --> 01:32:47,662
Just writing to say
that I've got a new address.
1154
01:32:47,732 --> 01:32:50,579
It's Xanadu on Old Compton Street...
1155
01:32:50,707 --> 01:32:53,228
and you can reach me there at any time.
1156
01:32:53,300 --> 01:32:56,977
I'm saving like mad
to get over to see you when it happens in....
1157
01:32:57,044 --> 01:33:00,459
What is it?
Four months, two weeks, and three days.
1158
01:33:01,652 --> 01:33:02,797
Hello.
1159
01:33:03,252 --> 01:33:04,812
Show me your bazoozums.
1160
01:33:04,884 --> 01:33:07,218
-I beg your pardon?
-You know.
1161
01:33:11,604 --> 01:33:12,978
What's that?
1162
01:33:13,204 --> 01:33:16,782
Now, listen, sir,
we can't all have big bazoozums.
1163
01:33:16,852 --> 01:33:19,569
Some of us are what you might call svelte.
1164
01:33:19,699 --> 01:33:23,082
-Svelte?
-Yes. That's a Swedish word, I believe.
1165
01:33:24,180 --> 01:33:27,475
-There's also a French one.
-Aye, give me the French.
1166
01:33:27,539 --> 01:33:28,783
Gamine.
1167
01:33:28,947 --> 01:33:31,981
-Gamine?
-Yes, and that's what I am, sir.
1168
01:33:32,052 --> 01:33:33,939
A svelte gamine.
1169
01:33:35,284 --> 01:33:39,691
How much is that doggy in the window?
1170
01:33:40,371 --> 01:33:44,048
The one with the waggly tail
1171
01:33:44,115 --> 01:33:47,825
Not "waggly," "waggedy." "Waggedy tail."
1172
01:33:48,948 --> 01:33:50,835
Dear sir unseen, I know my music...
1173
01:33:50,900 --> 01:33:54,828
and I'm willing to bet you 10 times
whatever pathetic price you paid in here...
1174
01:33:54,900 --> 01:33:57,388
that the dog's tail is waggly.
1175
01:33:58,932 --> 01:34:00,874
Now I wanna hear you bark.
1176
01:34:11,091 --> 01:34:14,157
-Hello.
-Please don't do that.
1177
01:34:17,651 --> 01:34:19,244
As you wish, sir.
1178
01:34:23,508 --> 01:34:26,443
I don't do this sort of thing often.
1179
01:34:26,516 --> 01:34:29,647
That's all right, sir, we've got lots of time.
1180
01:34:35,699 --> 01:34:39,889
-I knew a boy like you once.
-Oh, I'm not a boy, sir, I'm a girl.
1181
01:34:40,980 --> 01:34:44,460
-Oh, you're a girl.
-Yes.
1182
01:34:45,524 --> 01:34:49,386
You can call me Patricia.
That's my name, sir.
1183
01:34:50,324 --> 01:34:54,666
Can I tell you a story, Patricia?
1184
01:34:54,739 --> 01:34:57,161
Oh, please do. Stories are what I love.
1185
01:34:57,812 --> 01:35:01,074
-You love stories?
-Love stories.
1186
01:35:02,004 --> 01:35:03,913
Even more than mysteries.
1187
01:35:04,243 --> 01:35:06,796
Don't do that, please, please.
1188
01:35:09,236 --> 01:35:11,625
Very well, sir, I'm all ears.
1189
01:35:15,219 --> 01:35:19,627
Once upon a time, there was a boy
who never knew his father and mother.
1190
01:35:20,371 --> 01:35:25,041
Oh, how sad. How unbearably sad.
Was he an unbearably sad little boy?
1191
01:35:26,387 --> 01:35:30,414
He didn't seem so.
No, he laughed. He laughed a lot.
1192
01:35:30,548 --> 01:35:34,639
Perhaps the kind of laughter
that disguises tears?
1193
01:35:36,116 --> 01:35:39,891
Maybe laughter was the only way to...
1194
01:35:42,932 --> 01:35:44,361
deal with....
1195
01:35:46,131 --> 01:35:48,270
Please go on. To deal with....
1196
01:35:49,107 --> 01:35:51,660
To deal with his circumstances.
1197
01:35:54,708 --> 01:35:57,741
You seem to understand this boy
quite well, sir.
1198
01:35:58,740 --> 01:36:00,365
I knew his father.
1199
01:36:02,836 --> 01:36:03,883
And?
1200
01:36:04,787 --> 01:36:05,933
And...
1201
01:36:06,547 --> 01:36:10,060
though his father loved him very much...
1202
01:36:10,131 --> 01:36:14,638
he could never tell the boy how much....
1203
01:36:15,283 --> 01:36:16,493
How much?
1204
01:36:19,700 --> 01:36:22,766
He could never tell the boy
how much he loved him.
1205
01:36:24,052 --> 01:36:26,321
Well, this can't be a true story. It can't be.
1206
01:36:26,388 --> 01:36:27,500
Why not?
1207
01:36:27,571 --> 01:36:29,938
Why could he not tell the boy
how much he loved him?
1208
01:36:30,003 --> 01:36:31,727
Because he didn't know how.
1209
01:36:32,788 --> 01:36:37,522
He had the words for many things, you see,
but he didn't have the words for that.
1210
01:36:37,619 --> 01:36:41,067
There are only three words for that.
They're easy to say.
1211
01:36:41,236 --> 01:36:42,643
Sometimes they are.
1212
01:36:43,891 --> 01:36:46,608
Other times, they're not.
Other times, they're....
1213
01:36:46,836 --> 01:36:48,658
They're impossible.
1214
01:36:50,068 --> 01:36:54,705
And he loved the boy's mother, too,
but that was equally impossible.
1215
01:37:01,107 --> 01:37:03,049
So he never told the boy?
1216
01:37:05,875 --> 01:37:08,625
He never told him and then the boy left...
1217
01:37:09,268 --> 01:37:13,458
and came to England, and the father had...
1218
01:37:21,683 --> 01:37:26,222
lots of time to think about all the things...
1219
01:37:27,220 --> 01:37:31,181
all the things that might have been,
should have been.
1220
01:37:31,604 --> 01:37:34,321
He had all the time in the world to think.
1221
01:37:35,508 --> 01:37:37,548
And what did he think about?
1222
01:37:38,132 --> 01:37:42,638
He thought, he imagined perhaps,
that the boy had come to England...
1223
01:37:42,707 --> 01:37:44,530
Iooking for his mother.
1224
01:37:46,835 --> 01:37:49,072
And what was his mother's name?
1225
01:37:49,619 --> 01:37:52,968
-Her name was Eily. Eily Bergin.
-Oh, God.
1226
01:37:53,588 --> 01:37:56,719
And so the father thought
the one thing he could do...
1227
01:37:56,787 --> 01:37:59,634
was tell him where he could find his mother.
1228
01:38:02,643 --> 01:38:05,610
-Where to find the Phantom Lady?
-What?
1229
01:38:05,683 --> 01:38:07,538
Please, go on.
1230
01:38:08,723 --> 01:38:10,862
She married, had two children.
1231
01:38:11,124 --> 01:38:14,419
-Probably won't want to see him.
-But where does she live?
1232
01:38:15,699 --> 01:38:18,961
19 Spencer Rise, in Kilburn.
1233
01:38:39,251 --> 01:38:41,586
'Cause you know what I want,
I want English...
1234
01:38:41,651 --> 01:38:46,408
-I want conservative, I want East Finchley...
-Yeah.
1235
01:38:46,484 --> 01:38:49,779
...I want powerful.
1236
01:38:50,643 --> 01:38:53,578
-You think it works?
-I think you look better than her.
1237
01:38:54,035 --> 01:38:56,271
-I do look better than her, don't I?
-You do.
1238
01:39:39,444 --> 01:39:41,134
Do you need help, miss?
1239
01:39:42,995 --> 01:39:47,665
Yes, I'm doing a survey for British Telecom.
1240
01:39:49,491 --> 01:39:53,834
-Do you know where 19 Spencer Rise is?
-That's my house. There.
1241
01:39:54,035 --> 01:39:55,464
It's your....
1242
01:39:55,731 --> 01:39:59,506
-Can't you read numbers?
-No, yes, I can read numbers.
1243
01:40:00,531 --> 01:40:02,353
So, what's the survey?
1244
01:40:03,188 --> 01:40:06,090
Well, it's about telephones.
1245
01:40:07,284 --> 01:40:10,186
-Do you have a telephone?
-Everyone has a telephone.
1246
01:40:10,291 --> 01:40:14,219
No, not everyone, young man.
Some people can't afford one.
1247
01:40:14,451 --> 01:40:15,880
Well, we can.
1248
01:40:17,107 --> 01:40:18,252
I see.
1249
01:40:21,747 --> 01:40:24,594
-And so what is your name?
-My name's Patrick.
1250
01:40:26,867 --> 01:40:28,077
Patrick.
1251
01:40:28,660 --> 01:40:30,514
Patrick.
1252
01:40:31,027 --> 01:40:32,915
And how many phones
do you have, Patrick?
1253
01:40:32,979 --> 01:40:35,313
Shouldn't you be asking my mother?
1254
01:40:36,467 --> 01:40:39,020
Yes. Yes, of course I should.
1255
01:40:40,723 --> 01:40:42,447
And where would I find her?
1256
01:40:43,764 --> 01:40:46,895
Mum, there's a nice lady here
doing a survey....
1257
01:40:50,579 --> 01:40:52,402
Are you.... Oh, my God!
1258
01:40:56,852 --> 01:40:58,990
-You feeling better, love?
-Oh, yes, thank you.
1259
01:40:59,059 --> 01:41:01,481
-Some more tea?
-No, thank you.
1260
01:41:03,635 --> 01:41:07,312
So, what's this survey about, then?
1261
01:41:09,332 --> 01:41:13,074
-It's about phones, Mum.
-Phones? With Telecom?
1262
01:41:13,939 --> 01:41:15,695
Yes, British Telecom.
1263
01:41:24,019 --> 01:41:27,816
-Are you a multi-phone household?
-Yes. Yes, we've got three.
1264
01:41:27,955 --> 01:41:31,567
One in the bedroom, one in the kitchen,
and one in Geoffrey's office.
1265
01:41:33,779 --> 01:41:37,128
-Geoffrey....
-Is my husband.
1266
01:41:44,531 --> 01:41:45,676
Sorry.
1267
01:41:48,915 --> 01:41:51,119
How frequently is your telephone used?
1268
01:41:52,436 --> 01:41:55,949
Very. Laura's never off it.
1269
01:41:56,467 --> 01:41:57,645
Laura?
1270
01:41:59,091 --> 01:42:01,546
My daughter. She's 13.
1271
01:42:02,291 --> 01:42:03,981
I see, I see.
1272
01:42:04,883 --> 01:42:07,217
You don't have much use for the phone,
though, do you, Patrick?
1273
01:42:07,283 --> 01:42:09,072
No, I suppose not.
1274
01:42:15,220 --> 01:42:19,180
-Well, Miss....
-Johnson. Delia Johnston.
1275
01:42:19,507 --> 01:42:20,751
Johnston.
1276
01:42:22,291 --> 01:42:25,194
If you've any other questions,
don't hesitate to call.
1277
01:42:26,099 --> 01:42:29,034
No, I think I have more than enough,
thank you.
1278
01:42:34,579 --> 01:42:37,000
-Thank you for the tea.
-Oh, you're welcome.
1279
01:42:37,107 --> 01:42:38,219
Bye.
1280
01:42:57,683 --> 01:42:59,822
Shouldn't you have a uniform?
1281
01:43:00,915 --> 01:43:03,151
No, I shouldn't have a uniform.
1282
01:43:03,507 --> 01:43:06,060
The men who put the phones in
have a uniform.
1283
01:43:06,131 --> 01:43:07,505
Do they, now?
1284
01:43:07,635 --> 01:43:10,352
-Aren't they from Telecom?
-Yes, they are.
1285
01:43:11,156 --> 01:43:13,425
Then how come Telecom don't know
how many phones we have?
1286
01:43:13,491 --> 01:43:15,825
Well, because
it's from a different department.
1287
01:43:15,891 --> 01:43:18,608
Why don't you just phone up, then,
and ask the questions?
1288
01:43:18,675 --> 01:43:21,010
Because there's nothing
like the personal touch, now, is there?
1289
01:43:21,075 --> 01:43:22,057
Why don't--
1290
01:43:22,131 --> 01:43:25,611
Young man,
I get the feeling you don't like me.
1291
01:43:26,451 --> 01:43:28,786
You're wrong. I think you're nice.
1292
01:43:30,707 --> 01:43:32,944
Well, I think you're nice, too.
1293
01:43:33,203 --> 01:43:36,912
-Why are you crying?
-It's conjunctivitis.
1294
01:43:38,003 --> 01:43:41,102
I gave your address to Father Liam,
and I hope you don't mind.
1295
01:43:41,171 --> 01:43:44,967
He's been very kind to me, Kitten,
and I need all the kindness I can get.
1296
01:43:45,267 --> 01:43:48,234
The Special Branch lifted me
on a dope charge, you see.
1297
01:43:48,307 --> 01:43:50,728
And they used that to get to Irwin.
1298
01:43:51,731 --> 01:43:54,098
They lifted Charlie on the dope charge.
1299
01:43:55,891 --> 01:43:58,280
They said she'd be having the baby
in prison, if I didn't--
1300
01:43:58,355 --> 01:44:00,329
If you didn't what, Irwin?
1301
01:44:03,475 --> 01:44:06,158
If I didn't inform them about operations.
1302
01:44:08,243 --> 01:44:09,705
-You do it.
-No, you do it.
1303
01:44:09,779 --> 01:44:12,561
I can't. I went to school with his brother.
1304
01:44:12,851 --> 01:44:14,705
Hey, lads, did you hear the one
about the Cavan man?
1305
01:44:14,771 --> 01:44:17,007
-What Cavan man?
-Cavan man in--
1306
01:45:05,811 --> 01:45:07,567
What will I call you?
1307
01:45:08,819 --> 01:45:09,997
Father.
1308
01:45:13,587 --> 01:45:15,409
You call me "Father." Come in.
1309
01:45:22,963 --> 01:45:24,141
I can't.
1310
01:45:25,299 --> 01:45:28,147
I prayed, you know.
I prayed you'd come back.
1311
01:45:29,811 --> 01:45:31,305
Did you find her?
1312
01:45:31,379 --> 01:45:34,794
Yes. No. Kind of.
1313
01:45:37,363 --> 01:45:38,890
Where's Charlie?
1314
01:45:40,083 --> 01:45:41,992
She's upstairs. Come on.
1315
01:45:46,547 --> 01:45:48,619
After the drugs charge,
there were problems at home...
1316
01:45:48,691 --> 01:45:50,252
so I took her in.
1317
01:45:50,995 --> 01:45:53,897
She hardly eats a thing, you know.
She's wasting away.
1318
01:46:01,267 --> 01:46:02,958
Maybe you could....
1319
01:46:04,275 --> 01:46:06,992
-Where do you sleep, Father?
-Don't worry about me.
1320
01:46:11,507 --> 01:46:12,455
Charlie.
1321
01:46:16,499 --> 01:46:18,222
Is that you, Kitten?
1322
01:46:18,803 --> 01:46:22,829
Charlie. Take it easy now.
1323
01:46:23,859 --> 01:46:25,288
Swann's Cross.
1324
01:46:26,259 --> 01:46:29,520
-They put a rubbish bag over his head.
-Hush, Charlie.
1325
01:46:30,386 --> 01:46:32,775
My parents told me
to go back where I came from.
1326
01:46:32,851 --> 01:46:34,990
Don't think about it, Charlie.
1327
01:46:35,282 --> 01:46:37,704
Your baby, that's all that matters now.
1328
01:46:39,251 --> 01:46:41,160
And I'm here to help you.
1329
01:47:11,123 --> 01:47:14,472
Robins, Father. Would you believe it?
Pecking at the cream.
1330
01:47:14,546 --> 01:47:16,783
I'm sure the poor things must be starved.
1331
01:47:16,851 --> 01:47:17,800
Ta.
1332
01:47:29,139 --> 01:47:32,456
You have your mother's eyes,
do you know that, Patrick?
1333
01:47:32,915 --> 01:47:35,697
Color of the ocean beyond Rosses Point.
1334
01:47:39,539 --> 01:47:41,197
You took her there?
1335
01:47:45,491 --> 01:47:46,833
Many times.
1336
01:47:49,619 --> 01:47:52,237
Things could have been so different.
1337
01:47:53,619 --> 01:47:55,309
Don't say anything.
1338
01:47:57,459 --> 01:47:59,826
Because, you know, the strangest thing...
1339
01:48:00,499 --> 01:48:02,157
I went looking for her...
1340
01:48:03,635 --> 01:48:05,195
but I found you.
1341
01:48:18,002 --> 01:48:20,457
No, in the end it was a blessed release.
1342
01:48:20,530 --> 01:48:24,327
She was a lovely woman.
She never missed a day at Mass.
1343
01:48:24,403 --> 01:48:27,021
When they opened her up,
they found a lump as big as a melon.
1344
01:48:27,091 --> 01:48:28,979
A melon? That big?
1345
01:48:29,363 --> 01:48:32,330
Maybe it was a grapefruit.
I get them mixed up.
1346
01:48:32,531 --> 01:48:35,847
So, we're not exactly blessed with choice,
Father, dear.
1347
01:48:36,979 --> 01:48:39,913
And is there any rule
that says that when you're pregnant...
1348
01:48:39,986 --> 01:48:41,896
you need to dress like a lollipop lady?
1349
01:48:41,971 --> 01:48:45,648
-I know of no such rule, Patrick.
-No, so I thought.
1350
01:48:47,283 --> 01:48:50,447
This little hippy number
might give her the lift she needs.
1351
01:48:50,515 --> 01:48:51,595
Very nice.
1352
01:48:51,667 --> 01:48:52,844
Velvet, Father.
1353
01:48:52,915 --> 01:48:54,606
Like crushed grass.
1354
01:48:54,994 --> 01:48:56,423
Look, Father.
1355
01:49:00,179 --> 01:49:02,415
Oh, can we try the silver fur, missus?
1356
01:49:03,187 --> 01:49:04,593
Is it for yourself?
1357
01:49:06,931 --> 01:49:11,633
Twenty-five different colored Babygros.
Four teddy bears, I can understand...
1358
01:49:11,762 --> 01:49:14,762
-but I don't need a pram yet, Kitten.
-You will.
1359
01:49:15,731 --> 01:49:18,927
-Where did you get the money?
-Oh, singing.
1360
01:49:20,531 --> 01:49:23,531
How much is that doggy in the window?
1361
01:49:23,890 --> 01:49:26,345
The one with the
1362
01:49:27,507 --> 01:49:30,856
-Is it waggedy or waggly, Charlie?
-Waggly.
1363
01:49:31,763 --> 01:49:33,672
No, wait a minute.
1364
01:49:33,842 --> 01:49:36,363
-Oh, Father?
-Yes.
1365
01:49:36,435 --> 01:49:41,191
You know the doggy with the tail?
Is it waggly or waggedy?
1366
01:49:41,459 --> 01:49:42,703
The song?
1367
01:49:43,539 --> 01:49:47,281
Waggedy, I seem to remember.
Your mother never stopped singing it.
1368
01:49:47,346 --> 01:49:48,656
Aye, waggedy tail.
1369
01:49:48,723 --> 01:49:49,803
Waggedy.
1370
01:49:49,874 --> 01:49:53,737
How much is that doggy in the window?
1371
01:49:53,843 --> 01:49:57,389
The one with the waggedy tail
1372
01:49:57,779 --> 01:50:01,259
How much is that doggy in the window?
1373
01:50:01,330 --> 01:50:03,665
Oh, Jesus Christ and his holy mother.
1374
01:50:04,339 --> 01:50:06,411
-Why doesn't the Bishop do something?
-The Bishop!
1375
01:50:06,482 --> 01:50:08,686
The Bishop we have isn't worth a damn.
1376
01:50:08,787 --> 01:50:11,754
-What did she say...?
-The Bishop isn't worth a damn!
1377
01:50:12,050 --> 01:50:13,545
Now mind your language missus
1378
01:50:23,474 --> 01:50:25,384
Do you know something, Thomas?
1379
01:50:25,459 --> 01:50:28,525
There are times
when I wish I was a bus conductor.
1380
01:52:43,890 --> 01:52:45,995
...the welfare state and all.
1381
01:52:46,066 --> 01:52:48,008
Can't stay here, anyways.
1382
01:52:48,115 --> 01:52:50,984
But you'll come and see us, Father?
After the baby's--
1383
01:52:51,058 --> 01:52:55,848
Well, the only parish I've been offered
is in Kilburn, so you might see a lot of me.
1384
01:53:04,306 --> 01:53:06,281
You saved my life, Father.
1385
01:53:08,371 --> 01:53:09,615
And mine.
1386
01:53:15,122 --> 01:53:17,097
Great, big, fireproof man.
1387
01:53:34,770 --> 01:53:37,836
Come on, Charlie, push! Push!
1388
01:53:37,906 --> 01:53:40,394
I am pushing, Kitten, fuck you!
1389
01:53:40,466 --> 01:53:42,408
-I am pushing!
-Breathe.
1390
01:53:42,482 --> 01:53:44,554
-Jesus!
-Come on.
1391
01:53:44,818 --> 01:53:46,476
It's tearing me apart!
1392
01:53:56,082 --> 01:53:58,799
Hey, you're the telephone lady.
1393
01:54:01,427 --> 01:54:04,875
If it isn't the young boy
from the multi-phone household.
1394
01:54:05,107 --> 01:54:06,284
What are you doing here?
1395
01:54:06,354 --> 01:54:10,348
Mum's with the doctor.
She's, you know, got a bun in the fireplace.
1396
01:54:12,339 --> 01:54:15,951
-I think you mean the oven, young man.
-Okay, then, the oven.
1397
01:54:16,146 --> 01:54:17,739
What's your name?
1398
01:54:22,066 --> 01:54:23,495
Phantom Lady.
1399
01:54:24,082 --> 01:54:27,344
-That's a funny name.
-I know that. I'm a funny lady.
1400
01:54:28,595 --> 01:54:32,173
-Is that your baby?
-No, it's hers.
1401
01:54:34,419 --> 01:54:37,168
She's having her fireplace checked.
1402
01:54:37,747 --> 01:54:40,016
Isn't she? Yes, she is.
1403
01:54:41,235 --> 01:54:44,333
-Charlie, darling, this is--
-Patrick.
1404
01:54:45,138 --> 01:54:47,080
This is my young friend Patrick.
1405
01:54:47,474 --> 01:54:49,384
So, how's your fireplace?
1406
01:54:52,595 --> 01:54:57,264
And your little bun is just fine, too,
aren't you? Yes, you are.
1407
01:55:03,186 --> 01:55:06,863
Patrick, there's your mum. You'd better run.
1408
01:55:07,378 --> 01:55:08,458
Okay.
1409
01:55:09,171 --> 01:55:12,520
Patrick, will you tell her that...
1410
01:55:12,946 --> 01:55:17,321
the telephone lady says
that she hopes it's a girl this time.
1411
01:55:17,394 --> 01:55:19,020
-Okay.
-Okay.
1412
01:55:33,331 --> 01:55:37,160
-She looks nothing like Mitzi Gaynor
-What do you know about Mitzi Gaynor?
1413
01:55:37,394 --> 01:55:39,631
Nothing. But as Oscar Wilde said...
1414
01:55:39,891 --> 01:55:44,047
I love talking about nothing. It's the
only thing I know anything about