1
00:00:00,266 --> 00:00:03,235
Previously on...

2
00:00:03,269 --> 00:00:04,613
I really don't want you to go.

3
00:00:04,614 --> 00:00:06,732
This will make us enough money
to get Paul out of our house.

4
00:00:06,733 --> 00:00:09,264
Mike took a job in Alaska.

5
00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:11,367
I'm trying to treat
you like a lady.

6
00:00:11,368 --> 00:00:14,070
Bree's new romance got serious.

7
00:00:14,071 --> 00:00:18,141
So you're saying you like
me how I am. Very much.

8
00:00:18,175 --> 00:00:21,479
Paul's bride pushed him
to the breaking point.

9
00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:23,544
I want you gone by
the end of the week.

10
00:00:23,555 --> 00:00:25,957
But she was strongly encouraged...

11
00:00:25,991 --> 00:00:27,358
Bye, mama.

12
00:00:27,392 --> 00:00:29,627
To save her marriage.

13
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,901
Humiliation...

14
00:00:36,935 --> 00:00:40,070
It's something we
all try to avoid...

15
00:00:41,573 --> 00:00:44,041
Whenever possible.

16
00:00:44,575 --> 00:00:46,543
But unfortunately,

17
00:00:46,577 --> 00:00:49,513
there are some days when
we can't help but fall...

18
00:00:51,516 --> 00:00:54,017
Flat on our face.

19
00:00:56,421 --> 00:00:57,331
You okay?

20
00:00:57,332 --> 00:01:01,061
I'm fine! Mortified,
but... Whew! Fine.

21
00:01:01,062 --> 00:01:01,734
What happened?

22
00:01:01,735 --> 00:01:05,662
I don't know. I was...
thinking about how hot it was,

23
00:01:05,663 --> 00:01:07,437
and I didn't pay attention
to where I was going.

24
00:01:07,438 --> 00:01:09,633
Oh. For a second there,

25
00:01:09,667 --> 00:01:11,601
I was wondering if
you fell on purpose.

26
00:01:11,636 --> 00:01:12,936
On purpose?

27
00:01:12,970 --> 00:01:14,905
A broken leg would
be a great excuse

28
00:01:14,939 --> 00:01:17,126
to get out of dinner
with my parents.

29
00:01:17,127 --> 00:01:20,077
Don't be silly. I'm looking
forward to meeting your parents.

30
00:01:21,279 --> 00:01:24,114
Can we sit for a minute?

31
00:01:24,148 --> 00:01:27,451
The heat is really
starting to get to me.

32
00:01:27,485 --> 00:01:29,986
Really? It's not that hot.

33
00:01:30,021 --> 00:01:31,766
Are you kidding? It feels like...

34
00:01:31,767 --> 00:01:34,094
...Someone turned on a furnace!

35
00:01:35,926 --> 00:01:38,595
Are you okay? Have I been
pushing you too hard?

36
00:01:38,629 --> 00:01:42,599
No, no! I'm having
the time of my life.

37
00:01:42,633 --> 00:01:46,502
Whew. I just need to
rest for a tiny little...

38
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:55,967
So what happened?

39
00:01:56,001 --> 00:01:57,835
I'm not exactly sure.

40
00:01:57,870 --> 00:02:00,733
She probably just
overexerted herself.

41
00:02:00,734 --> 00:02:02,404
This is beyond embarrassing.

42
00:02:02,405 --> 00:02:04,512
There's a lemonade stand over there.
Should I get her something to drink?

43
00:02:04,613 --> 00:02:06,658
Good idea.
She might be dehydrated.

44
00:02:06,659 --> 00:02:10,111
This is ridiculous.
I had a bottle of water an hour ago.

45
00:02:10,112 --> 00:02:13,640
And I did not overexert myself.
I happen to be in very good shape.

46
00:02:13,641 --> 00:02:15,942
Your heart rate is a bit elevated.

47
00:02:15,977 --> 00:02:21,314
Well, probably from the stress of
having all these strangers gawk at me.

48
00:02:23,618 --> 00:02:25,051
Oh, my lord.

49
00:02:25,086 --> 00:02:27,687
It's happening again.
Do you see this?

50
00:02:27,722 --> 00:02:31,897
It's like a wave of heat just...
coursing through my body.

51
00:02:33,894 --> 00:02:36,296
What is happening to me?
Am I having a stroke?

52
00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:38,998
Honey, you're just
having a hot flash.

53
00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:41,330
A what? Yeah, it's no big deal.

54
00:02:41,331 --> 00:02:44,032
We all have to go through
the change sometime.

55
00:02:44,067 --> 00:02:45,500
Wait, are you saying...

56
00:02:45,535 --> 00:02:48,219
Yep. You've started menopause.

57
00:02:48,220 --> 00:02:50,721
Humiliation...

58
00:02:50,756 --> 00:02:52,087
So did we figure
out what was wrong?

59
00:02:52,088 --> 00:02:55,259
It's something we
all try to avoid.

60
00:02:55,294 --> 00:02:57,895
It's no big deal.
She just had... indigestion.

61
00:02:57,930 --> 00:03:00,364
I never should've let
you buy me that hot dog.

62
00:03:00,399 --> 00:03:03,601
Especially women who date...

63
00:03:03,635 --> 00:03:06,003
Younger men.

64
00:03:17,549 --> 00:03:20,284
It was morning in suburbia...

65
00:03:20,318 --> 00:03:24,822
A time for women to attend
to their husbands' needs.

66
00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:29,693
And while Tom Scavo's wife was
setting out the sports section,

67
00:03:29,728 --> 00:03:34,565
and Carlos Solis' wife was
removing lint from his suit...

68
00:03:36,134 --> 00:03:39,804
And Roy bender's wife was
cleaning his dentures...

69
00:03:43,241 --> 00:03:46,076
Paul Young's wife was resting

70
00:03:46,111 --> 00:03:51,348
because she had already attended
to her husband's needs...

71
00:03:51,383 --> 00:03:54,218
All night long.

72
00:03:54,252 --> 00:03:56,687
Thank you.

73
00:03:56,721 --> 00:03:59,590
For what?

74
00:03:59,624 --> 00:04:01,625
For the most amazing night.

75
00:04:01,660 --> 00:04:03,627
So I didn't disappoint you?

76
00:04:03,662 --> 00:04:05,229
Are you kidding?

77
00:04:05,263 --> 00:04:07,031
I'm so glad.

78
00:04:07,065 --> 00:04:09,466
I must say, for a virgin,

79
00:04:09,501 --> 00:04:11,435
you were certainly open-minded.

80
00:04:15,941 --> 00:04:18,676
My whole life,
I heard people talk about sex.

81
00:04:18,710 --> 00:04:21,212
They always made such
a big deal about it.

82
00:04:21,246 --> 00:04:23,747
And don't get me wrong,

83
00:04:23,782 --> 00:04:27,051
it was very interesting.

84
00:04:27,085 --> 00:04:29,320
But lying here quietly...

85
00:04:30,822 --> 00:04:33,157
This is my favorite part.

86
00:04:33,191 --> 00:04:34,959
It's wonderful, isn't it?

87
00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:44,501
So would you like to do it again?

88
00:04:44,536 --> 00:04:47,371
I hear that men like
sex in the morning.

89
00:04:47,405 --> 00:04:51,342
I must say, so far,
your research is flawless.

90
00:05:00,719 --> 00:05:02,887
Beth, I'm gonna need a rain check.

91
00:05:02,921 --> 00:05:05,990
Why? I have business to attend to.

92
00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:11,795
Who is that man?

93
00:05:11,830 --> 00:05:15,766
Derek Yeager,
my cellmate from prison.

94
00:05:19,938 --> 00:05:23,240
So have you thought
about my offer?

95
00:05:23,275 --> 00:05:24,575
I have.

96
00:05:24,609 --> 00:05:27,411
I actually think starting
an interior design business

97
00:05:27,445 --> 00:05:29,813
is... interesting.

98
00:05:29,848 --> 00:05:32,316
Interesting? It's... it's genius.

99
00:05:32,350 --> 00:05:35,386
You know what an
artistic eye I have.

100
00:05:36,755 --> 00:05:38,722
Oh, my God. Oh, are you doing
what I think you're doing?

101
00:05:38,790 --> 00:05:42,059
If you think I'm trying to stuff
my boob in my daughter's mouth,

102
00:05:42,093 --> 00:05:43,427
then yes.

103
00:05:43,461 --> 00:05:45,162
Ugh. It's so unnatural.

104
00:05:46,464 --> 00:05:47,865
So...

105
00:05:49,868 --> 00:05:51,769
What do you say? Mm.

106
00:05:51,803 --> 00:05:54,705
I will woo the clients,
be the face of the company,

107
00:05:54,739 --> 00:05:57,341
uh, while you do all
the business-y stuff.

108
00:05:57,375 --> 00:05:59,610
It would be nice
to be my own boss.

109
00:05:59,644 --> 00:06:00,778
Okay.

110
00:06:00,812 --> 00:06:03,447
I'm in. And if we work
out of your place,

111
00:06:03,481 --> 00:06:05,482
I can bring the baby with me.

112
00:06:05,517 --> 00:06:07,151
Ooh, well, that... won't work.

113
00:06:07,185 --> 00:06:10,120
Everything at my place
is metal and sharp.

114
00:06:10,155 --> 00:06:11,040
No, it isn't. Well,

115
00:06:11,041 --> 00:06:13,324
then I'll have metal and
sharp things brought in.

116
00:06:13,358 --> 00:06:15,326
No babies in my house.

117
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:18,062
Well, then we'll have
to work here. Right.

118
00:06:18,096 --> 00:06:20,030
Potential clients
will be so impressed

119
00:06:20,065 --> 00:06:22,833
when they walk into this...
tipped-over hamper.

120
00:06:22,867 --> 00:06:24,501
Get a nanny.

121
00:06:24,536 --> 00:06:26,337
I've been trying.

122
00:06:26,371 --> 00:06:29,340
It's not that easy.
Well, then I'll find someone.

123
00:06:29,374 --> 00:06:31,842
Mm, there's gotta be some
poor schlub out there

124
00:06:31,876 --> 00:06:35,546
who's trustworthy and
desperate for money.

125
00:06:37,582 --> 00:06:39,016
I don't like this kind.

126
00:06:39,050 --> 00:06:41,018
Oh, honey, it's cheaper.

127
00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:43,120
But it doesn't have a prize.

128
00:06:45,557 --> 00:06:47,524
The prize that comes
with this cereal

129
00:06:47,559 --> 00:06:49,860
is we can afford the milk.

130
00:06:49,894 --> 00:06:52,696
Okay, that's $61. 48.

131
00:06:52,731 --> 00:06:54,298
Even with all the coupons?

132
00:06:56,201 --> 00:06:57,501
Well...

133
00:06:58,870 --> 00:07:01,038
Nothing in there.

134
00:07:01,072 --> 00:07:03,107
Let me see if I can put
something back. Uh...

135
00:07:05,010 --> 00:07:08,078
My fabric doesn't
have to be that soft.

136
00:07:08,113 --> 00:07:09,847
And hey.

137
00:07:09,881 --> 00:07:12,883
Meat is murder, right?

138
00:07:14,719 --> 00:07:16,820
Okay, you know,
just put $20 on this

139
00:07:16,888 --> 00:07:18,922
and I'll pay the rest in cash.

140
00:07:18,957 --> 00:07:22,159
Care to donate a dollar
to St. Matthew's kids?

141
00:07:22,193 --> 00:07:23,260
What?

142
00:07:23,328 --> 00:07:24,928
It's for poor people.

143
00:07:24,963 --> 00:07:26,930
You give a dollar,
I ring the bell,

144
00:07:26,965 --> 00:07:28,565
everyone knows you donated.

145
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:31,468
Has that piercing
affected your sight?

146
00:07:31,503 --> 00:07:33,170
I'm counting pennies here.

147
00:07:33,204 --> 00:07:35,406
Lady, we're supposed
to ask everyone.

148
00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:36,740
Calm down.

149
00:07:36,775 --> 00:07:38,175
"Calm down"?

150
00:07:38,209 --> 00:07:41,145
Yeah, I can't afford to buy
my kid the cereal he likes.

151
00:07:41,179 --> 00:07:43,714
He's gotta eat this
cardboard crap.

152
00:07:43,748 --> 00:07:46,116
Ooh! Nickel in the swear jar!

153
00:07:46,151 --> 00:07:49,153
And that used to be a
quarter in the swear jar.

154
00:07:49,187 --> 00:07:51,622
We've even had to
mark down our swears.

155
00:07:51,656 --> 00:07:55,426
So don't talk to me about the
poor 'cause I am the poor!

156
00:07:55,460 --> 00:07:58,429
Where's my little jar
at the checkout stand?!

157
00:07:58,463 --> 00:07:59,930
There is none!

158
00:08:04,169 --> 00:08:07,838
Don't feel bad. She screamed
at our dry cleaners, too.

159
00:08:12,677 --> 00:08:14,645
Your burnt the meat loaf again?

160
00:08:14,679 --> 00:08:16,947
It's just a little crispy.
It'll be fine.

161
00:08:16,981 --> 00:08:18,949
And what's with the candles
and the good China?

162
00:08:18,983 --> 00:08:21,952
Is it our anniversary?

163
00:08:21,986 --> 00:08:24,455
Ow! Why are you hitting me?

164
00:08:24,489 --> 00:08:25,791
Because you don't listen to me.

165
00:08:25,792 --> 00:08:29,159
I told you last night Bob
was coming for dinner.

166
00:08:29,194 --> 00:08:30,494
Oh, right.

167
00:08:30,528 --> 00:08:33,263
Bob.

168
00:08:33,298 --> 00:08:35,032
What was that for?

169
00:08:35,066 --> 00:08:37,034
Not knowing when
our anniversary is.

170
00:08:37,068 --> 00:08:40,604
Okay. When is it?

171
00:08:40,638 --> 00:08:43,607
I don't have time for this!
Bob is gonna be here any second.

172
00:08:43,641 --> 00:08:46,110
Do I have to eat with you guys?

173
00:08:46,144 --> 00:08:47,945
Bob and I have nothing in common.

174
00:08:47,946 --> 00:08:51,115
I'm sorry he's not all...
"See the game last night?

175
00:08:51,149 --> 00:08:53,817
Check out the jugs on her.
Hey, pull my finger!"

176
00:08:53,852 --> 00:08:55,094
I did that one time.

177
00:08:55,095 --> 00:08:57,050
At my cousin's funeral!

178
00:08:57,900 --> 00:08:59,467
You're right.

179
00:08:59,502 --> 00:09:03,138
I am unfit to socialize with
your classy gay boyfriend.

180
00:09:03,172 --> 00:09:06,574
I should be forced to eat by myself...
in front of the game.

181
00:09:06,609 --> 00:09:10,181
No. You are having dinner with Bob,
and that is all there is to it!

182
00:09:10,182 --> 00:09:13,443
For God sakes, he helped us
find our biological daughter.

183
00:09:13,444 --> 00:09:15,379
We owe him more than
we can ever repay.

184
00:09:15,413 --> 00:09:17,113
Then shouldn't we take
him out for a nice meal

185
00:09:17,114 --> 00:09:21,251
instead of forcing him to eat
that briquette you call meat loaf?

186
00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:39,302
I hope the pot roast
isn't too dry.

187
00:09:39,337 --> 00:09:41,771
It's good.

188
00:09:41,806 --> 00:09:45,765
He's an ex-con. He's just happy
there's no ground glass in it.

189
00:09:50,458 --> 00:09:53,050
It must be nice for you two
to see each other again.

190
00:09:53,085 --> 00:09:54,986
Uh, how long were you roommates?

191
00:09:55,020 --> 00:09:57,755
Cellmates. Yeager and I
spent two years together.

192
00:09:57,789 --> 00:09:59,857
We kind of... looked
out for each other.

193
00:09:59,892 --> 00:10:01,659
That's lovely.

194
00:10:04,696 --> 00:10:07,765
If I may ask, Yeager,
what were you, uh...

195
00:10:07,799 --> 00:10:10,401
I believe the phrase is "in for"?

196
00:10:13,071 --> 00:10:15,573
Well, you know, uh,

197
00:10:15,607 --> 00:10:18,743
sometimes when
people steal stuff...

198
00:10:18,777 --> 00:10:21,846
They give it to another
guy who sells it for 'em.

199
00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:24,282
Yes. A "fence."

200
00:10:24,316 --> 00:10:25,416
Right.

201
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:29,420
I killed a fence.

202
00:10:30,856 --> 00:10:32,290
Oh.

203
00:10:32,324 --> 00:10:34,492
Well, how about that?

204
00:10:34,526 --> 00:10:38,300
Uh, we may wanna keep
that story to ourselves.

205
00:10:38,301 --> 00:10:40,765
I'm sure the people on the Lane
would be unsettled to learn that

206
00:10:40,766 --> 00:10:43,215
their new neighbor was
a convicted murderer.

207
00:10:43,216 --> 00:10:45,014
Neighbor?

208
00:10:45,015 --> 00:10:46,510
Yes.

209
00:10:46,536 --> 00:10:50,005
Yeager's going to be staying
at my old house for a while.

210
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:51,445
He's doing a little work for me.

211
00:10:51,446 --> 00:10:52,622
What kind of work?

212
00:10:52,623 --> 00:10:54,109
It's nothing you
need to worry about.

213
00:10:54,144 --> 00:10:56,478
I'm not worried about it.
I just wanna know.

214
00:10:57,714 --> 00:11:00,382
Darling, I'm not
trying to exclude you.

215
00:11:00,417 --> 00:11:02,284
I'm trying to protect you.

216
00:11:02,319 --> 00:11:03,552
From what?

217
00:11:03,587 --> 00:11:07,122
Beth, let's enjoy our dinner.
We have a guest.

218
00:11:18,242 --> 00:11:20,710
Ah. And this was
grace at Halloween.

219
00:11:20,744 --> 00:11:23,854
Oh, she's beautiful, Gaby.
And so sweet.

220
00:11:23,855 --> 00:11:26,489
Getting to know her has
been such a blessing.

221
00:11:26,490 --> 00:11:30,093
Carlos and I will never be
able to thank you enough.

222
00:11:33,631 --> 00:11:35,532
Hey, I just made some calls.

223
00:11:35,566 --> 00:11:38,435
No, you did more than that.
You changed our lives.

224
00:11:38,469 --> 00:11:40,971
Oh. So...

225
00:11:41,005 --> 00:11:44,799
We wanted to give you these...
as a token of our appreciation.

226
00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:48,602
Orchestra seats to... "Cats."

227
00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:51,501
What's wrong?
I thought you love musicals.

228
00:11:51,502 --> 00:11:53,837
That was Lee.
He was the show queen.

229
00:11:53,871 --> 00:11:55,739
When I found out he saw
"Annie" six times,

230
00:11:55,773 --> 00:11:57,874
even I wanted to gay bash him.

231
00:11:57,909 --> 00:12:00,744
Oh. Okay, well, I wanna get
you tickets to something.

232
00:12:00,778 --> 00:12:03,380
Do you like the opera?

233
00:12:03,414 --> 00:12:05,849
Figure skating?

234
00:12:05,883 --> 00:12:08,552
Beauty pageants?

235
00:12:08,586 --> 00:12:10,120
Barbra?

236
00:12:10,154 --> 00:12:11,555
Sorry.

237
00:12:11,589 --> 00:12:16,259
Ever think the reason Lee broke
up with you is you're not gay?

238
00:12:16,294 --> 00:12:17,761
Hey, what can I say?

239
00:12:17,795 --> 00:12:19,663
Give me a beer and a
college basketball game,

240
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:20,997
I'm happy.

241
00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:24,061
You're kidding.
Who you like this year?

242
00:12:24,062 --> 00:12:26,861
Well, Duke's got most of its
starters coming back this year, so...

243
00:12:26,862 --> 00:12:28,788
Hey, hey, hey!
You kiss boys with that mouth?

244
00:12:28,805 --> 00:12:31,040
Bob, I get basketball
tickets all the time.

245
00:12:31,074 --> 00:12:33,275
You wanna go to a game this week?

246
00:12:33,310 --> 00:12:35,177
Are you serious?

247
00:12:35,212 --> 00:12:37,184
Oh, I'm in. You know,
there's a game on tonight.

248
00:12:37,185 --> 00:12:40,015
Maybe after dessert,
we can turn on...

249
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:41,283
What's wrong?

250
00:12:41,318 --> 00:12:43,219
I thought I knew you.

251
00:12:43,253 --> 00:12:46,188
Now all of a sudden,
you're talkin' beer and basketball?

252
00:12:46,223 --> 00:12:49,782
It's like you're not even a...
a tired gay stereotype?

253
00:12:49,783 --> 00:12:52,324
Exactly. It's very upsetting.

254
00:12:52,524 --> 00:12:55,426
Tell you what,
let us watch the game.

255
00:12:55,460 --> 00:12:57,628
During halftime,
I'll come back in and tell you

256
00:12:57,662 --> 00:13:00,297
how great you look in your
Dolce & Gabbana. Versace.

257
00:13:03,535 --> 00:13:06,437
Just go. I can't even
look at you right now.

258
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:12,088
Menopause? You're not old enough
to be going through menopause.

259
00:13:12,089 --> 00:13:13,851
And more importantly,
I'm not old enough

260
00:13:13,852 --> 00:13:15,598
to have a friend going
through menopause.

261
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:18,067
This has completely blindsided me.

262
00:13:18,267 --> 00:13:22,876
These last few weeks being with Keith,
I have felt so alive.

263
00:13:22,877 --> 00:13:25,956
Even when I was young,
I didn't feel this young. But now...

264
00:13:25,957 --> 00:13:29,783
Oh, I hate to spoil the announcement of
your death sentence, but life does go on.

265
00:13:29,818 --> 00:13:32,720
And there is an upside.
I'd love to skip

266
00:13:32,754 --> 00:13:34,988
those three days a month when
I'm cranky and irritable.

267
00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:36,457
Just three days, huh?

268
00:13:36,691 --> 00:13:40,227
This couldn't have
come at a worse time.

269
00:13:40,261 --> 00:13:42,496
I'm sure it'll be the end of
my relationship with Keith.

270
00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:43,404
Why do you say that?

271
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:45,338
Oh, here's why...
"check out my girlfriend,

272
00:13:45,339 --> 00:13:47,900
the one with the pit stains
and the estrogen patch."

273
00:13:47,901 --> 00:13:50,070
Exactly. Now he'll be looking
for some fresh, young thing

274
00:13:50,104 --> 00:13:53,017
who doesn't retain water and
can still bear him children.

275
00:13:53,018 --> 00:13:54,686
So why tell him?

276
00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:56,788
I have to.
We're in a relationship.

277
00:13:56,822 --> 00:13:59,023
Where'd you get that?
"The big book of staying single"?

278
00:13:59,058 --> 00:14:01,686
There is no reason you
have to tell your boyfriend

279
00:14:01,687 --> 00:14:03,374
the absolute truth about yourself.

280
00:14:03,375 --> 00:14:06,277
Yeah, we lie to men
all the time. I don't.

281
00:14:06,311 --> 00:14:10,114
Oh, please. You're telling me you
never pretended you like football?

282
00:14:10,148 --> 00:14:12,817
Mm, or laughed at a
three stooges movie?

283
00:14:12,851 --> 00:14:16,153
Or faked an orgasm
just to make him stop?

284
00:14:18,290 --> 00:14:20,858
Hey, just for the record,

285
00:14:20,893 --> 00:14:23,160
I love football,
stooges are damn funny,

286
00:14:23,195 --> 00:14:25,396
and I've never asked
a man to stop.

287
00:14:27,933 --> 00:14:30,201
Interesting.

288
00:14:33,538 --> 00:14:36,441
Susan? Renee Perry here.

289
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:41,058
Listen, Lynette and I are starting a
fabulous interior design business.

290
00:14:41,980 --> 00:14:44,624
Anyway, I hear you've got
some time on your hands,

291
00:14:44,625 --> 00:14:46,408
and we could really use your help.

292
00:14:46,409 --> 00:14:48,743
The pay's good,
and the hours are flexible.

293
00:14:48,778 --> 00:14:51,179
Now we're at Lynette's
if you're interested.

294
00:14:52,415 --> 00:14:54,716
What just happened?

295
00:14:54,750 --> 00:14:58,705
Oh! Your mommy just got a
job as an interior designer!

296
00:15:00,556 --> 00:15:02,490
... With that ash.

297
00:15:04,326 --> 00:15:05,593
Susan!

298
00:15:05,627 --> 00:15:08,390
I came over as soon as
I got Renee's message.

299
00:15:08,391 --> 00:15:11,432
Oh, I would love to
help you guys out.

300
00:15:12,934 --> 00:15:14,068
But...

301
00:15:14,102 --> 00:15:16,036
I told her about the job.

302
00:15:16,071 --> 00:15:17,104
Renee...

303
00:15:17,139 --> 00:15:18,772
Oh, why not?

304
00:15:18,807 --> 00:15:20,674
She's obviously flat broke.

305
00:15:20,709 --> 00:15:23,611
No one lives downwind from
a pet store by choice.

306
00:15:23,645 --> 00:15:26,847
It's true. I need to work.

307
00:15:26,882 --> 00:15:29,445
Well, obviously,
you're more than qualified,

308
00:15:29,446 --> 00:15:32,214
but are you sure it won't be weird?
I mean, we're friends.

309
00:15:32,249 --> 00:15:34,617
Oh, I think that's a plus.

310
00:15:34,651 --> 00:15:36,886
I just wanna make sure that...

311
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:39,121
Oh, for God sake,
the woman wants to be your nanny.

312
00:15:39,156 --> 00:15:40,456
Hire her.

313
00:15:40,490 --> 00:15:44,463
Excuse me for not wanting to ruin
one of my closest friendships.

314
00:15:44,464 --> 00:15:47,028
You didn't worry that working
together would ruin our friendship.

315
00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:49,131
Go figure.

316
00:15:50,167 --> 00:15:52,101
Well, if you're cool with this,

317
00:15:52,135 --> 00:15:55,004
I would love you to start right away.
What do you think?

318
00:15:55,038 --> 00:16:00,603
I-I think my dear friend
just offered me a job.

319
00:16:00,643 --> 00:16:02,711
How could I say no?

320
00:16:07,650 --> 00:16:09,751
Mrs. Van De Kamp?

321
00:16:09,786 --> 00:16:11,620
Hi. I'm Dr. Wagner.

322
00:16:11,654 --> 00:16:14,552
Oh. Um, I usually see Dr. Shapiro.

323
00:16:14,553 --> 00:16:16,887
She's on maternity leave.

324
00:16:16,922 --> 00:16:18,923
Oh. Well, there's some
salt in the wound.

325
00:16:18,957 --> 00:16:23,094
Yes, so I see you're here
to talk about menopause.

326
00:16:23,128 --> 00:16:25,196
And frankly, you're in luck.

327
00:16:25,230 --> 00:16:28,532
In addition to being a
gynecologist for 20 years,

328
00:16:28,567 --> 00:16:30,501
I am going through
the change myself.

329
00:16:30,535 --> 00:16:32,136
Is it awful?

330
00:16:32,170 --> 00:16:35,973
The way I look at it,
we've earned this.

331
00:16:36,008 --> 00:16:39,710
It's like getting a watch when
you retire from a job well done.

332
00:16:39,745 --> 00:16:41,345
I suppose, but still,

333
00:16:41,380 --> 00:16:45,197
I was hoping you could give me
something to mask the symptoms.

334
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,201
See, I'm recently divorced,

335
00:16:47,235 --> 00:16:50,521
and I'm dating someone who is
significantly younger than me.

336
00:16:50,522 --> 00:16:51,789
I understand.

337
00:16:51,823 --> 00:16:53,891
And might I add, check you out!

338
00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:57,194
Well, I must say,

339
00:16:57,228 --> 00:16:59,630
I highly recommend the
younger man experience.

340
00:16:59,664 --> 00:17:02,569
The stamina can be
quite invigorating.

341
00:17:02,570 --> 00:17:03,680
I've heard tell.

342
00:17:03,681 --> 00:17:07,204
And in the interest of keeping
this going as long as possible,

343
00:17:07,238 --> 00:17:09,440
I am prepared to... lie.

344
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:14,168
So do you think you can help
me put menopause on pause?

345
00:17:14,203 --> 00:17:18,157
I think so. We have a duty
as woman of a certain age

346
00:17:18,158 --> 00:17:20,014
to keep this sizzling
relationship going.

347
00:17:20,015 --> 00:17:22,126
So let's talk about
some therapies.

348
00:17:30,851 --> 00:17:32,786
Hey! I was in the
neighborhood and thought,

349
00:17:32,820 --> 00:17:34,754
you know who I haven't
seen lately? Gaby.

350
00:17:36,023 --> 00:17:37,190
Okay.

351
00:17:37,224 --> 00:17:39,225
I'd love to catch up,
but it's 11:00,

352
00:17:39,260 --> 00:17:42,195
and I was about to go to...
So how are things?

353
00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:45,932
Love the highlights.
You totally make those shoes work.

354
00:17:45,966 --> 00:17:48,914
They're slippers. Uh-huh.
Uh-huh. So that was fun.

355
00:17:48,915 --> 00:17:51,641
Hey, talked to Bob lately?
Anything new going on with Bob?

356
00:17:51,642 --> 00:17:53,225
I don't think so.

357
00:17:53,226 --> 00:17:56,575
Don't cover for him.
He's seeing someone.

358
00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:58,111
What makes you say that?

359
00:17:58,145 --> 00:18:01,341
Jason told Hunter who
told Sergio who told me

360
00:18:01,342 --> 00:18:04,617
that Bob has been seen out three
times with some hunky Latino.

361
00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:06,935
No, no, no.
Bob's not seeing anyone.

362
00:18:06,969 --> 00:18:08,870
Oh, fine. Then I
will go tell Hunter

363
00:18:08,905 --> 00:18:11,039
to tell Sergio to tell
Jason that he's a liar.

364
00:18:11,074 --> 00:18:14,231
No. No, no, no, no.
The hunky Latino is Carlos.

365
00:18:14,232 --> 00:18:16,159
He and Bob have been hanging out.

366
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:17,579
What?

367
00:18:17,613 --> 00:18:20,215
Yeah. So you have
nothing to worry about.

368
00:18:20,216 --> 00:18:24,191
No, no. That... that means we both
have something to worry about.

369
00:18:24,391 --> 00:18:26,358
Huh? Look, I hate
to break it to you,

370
00:18:26,393 --> 00:18:29,128
but Bob's always had a
major crush on Carlos.

371
00:18:29,162 --> 00:18:31,463
What? I hate to break it to Bob,

372
00:18:31,498 --> 00:18:33,599
but Carlos is as
straight as they come.

373
00:18:33,633 --> 00:18:36,844
So was Bob's college roommate
and his thesis advisor

374
00:18:36,845 --> 00:18:38,404
and his basketball coach!

375
00:18:38,438 --> 00:18:40,305
Oh, that's why he
likes basketball.

376
00:18:40,340 --> 00:18:42,988
Bob's college nickname was
"flipper,"

377
00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:44,974
and it wasn't because
of his dolphin tattoo.

378
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,934
Okay, this is crazy.

379
00:18:46,969 --> 00:18:48,948
Bob isn't going to "flip" Carlos.

380
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,589
Okay, let me...
let me tell you his game.

381
00:18:50,624 --> 00:18:52,525
First, he takes them out drinking,

382
00:18:52,559 --> 00:18:54,460
then he gets them really hammered.

383
00:18:54,494 --> 00:18:57,663
Then, when their defenses are down,
he flips 'em.

384
00:18:57,698 --> 00:19:00,635
Well, I mean, not literally... Yeah,
actually, sometimes literally.

385
00:19:00,868 --> 00:19:03,939
Um, Lee, I think I
know my husband.

386
00:19:03,940 --> 00:19:07,411
He's not passing up these chimichangas
for a plate of franks and beans.

387
00:19:07,412 --> 00:19:09,478
Okay, I don't...
I don't know what that means,

388
00:19:09,512 --> 00:19:12,047
but you just ruined
Mexican food for me.

389
00:19:18,488 --> 00:19:20,756
Oh, my God. I can't let
Bob see me like this.

390
00:19:20,790 --> 00:19:23,258
Well, use the back door.
I always do.

391
00:19:27,831 --> 00:19:28,964
Hey!

392
00:19:28,998 --> 00:19:31,934
Where you guys been?
The game ended hours ago.

393
00:19:31,968 --> 00:19:33,902
We went out to a bar.

394
00:19:33,937 --> 00:19:36,872
He kept buying me drinks.
I'm so hammered.

395
00:19:55,290 --> 00:19:57,969
So I've come up with a marketing
plan and a billing structure.

396
00:19:57,970 --> 00:19:59,959
Oh, and I filed for a
license with the city

397
00:19:59,960 --> 00:20:02,199
so we can get a discount...
with our suppliers.

398
00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:04,500
Are you listening to me?

399
00:20:05,710 --> 00:20:09,260
I'm sorry. That was so dull,
I actually started to dream.

400
00:20:12,100 --> 00:20:13,920
Hey! How's it going?

401
00:20:14,030 --> 00:20:16,450
Oh. Fine. Paige is asleep.

402
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:18,100
That quickly?

403
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:20,249
What's your secret? Whiskey?

404
00:20:20,250 --> 00:20:22,150
I'm not judging.
I just wanna know.

405
00:20:22,540 --> 00:20:24,620
No, just rocked her.

406
00:20:25,940 --> 00:20:29,699
Hey, have you heard from Mike?
How's Alaska?

407
00:20:29,700 --> 00:20:32,350
Uh, he's fine. Thanks for asking.

408
00:20:35,810 --> 00:20:37,499
Did you guys know

409
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:41,940
that the state of Rhode island
can fit into Alaska 424 times?

410
00:20:43,630 --> 00:20:46,830
Read that once on a cup.
Never forgot it.

411
00:20:46,860 --> 00:20:50,590
When we're wooing clients,
let me do the talking.

412
00:20:52,350 --> 00:20:54,179
So, uh, since I'm not busy,

413
00:20:54,180 --> 00:20:56,059
where do you keep
your dirty laundry?

414
00:20:56,060 --> 00:20:58,900
Oh. Honey, you don't
have to do the laundry.

415
00:20:58,950 --> 00:21:01,139
Sit down. I'll open some wine.

416
00:21:01,140 --> 00:21:03,989
No, thanks. I'm on the clock.
I'd rather get work done.

417
00:21:03,990 --> 00:21:06,019
Well, if you're looking
for something to do,

418
00:21:06,020 --> 00:21:08,060
I'd love some more iced tea.

419
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,930
Renee, that is not her job.

420
00:21:11,700 --> 00:21:13,540
That is her job.

421
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,499
Susan, I didn't mean you needed...

422
00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:20,720
You're right. This is my job.

423
00:21:25,070 --> 00:21:26,749
I don't know what to do, mama.

424
00:21:26,750 --> 00:21:29,289
He won't tell me why he's
trying to buy all these houses.

425
00:21:29,290 --> 00:21:32,250
And now he's got a murderer
moving into one of them.

426
00:21:38,180 --> 00:21:39,530
Hold on.

427
00:21:41,420 --> 00:21:42,880
I've got an idea.

428
00:21:49,700 --> 00:21:51,370
Well, hello there.

429
00:21:52,100 --> 00:21:53,920
Paul went to the store.

430
00:21:56,690 --> 00:21:58,669
Will he be gone for a while?

431
00:21:58,670 --> 00:21:59,580
Yeah.

432
00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:04,150
It sure is a mess in here.

433
00:22:05,530 --> 00:22:08,730
Can't help but wonder
what you boys are up to.

434
00:22:08,950 --> 00:22:12,149
You wanna know what's going on?
Talk to your husband.

435
00:22:12,150 --> 00:22:14,730
You saw me. I tried.

436
00:22:14,780 --> 00:22:17,609
He's keeping me in the
dark for some reason.

437
00:22:17,610 --> 00:22:19,290
That's between you and him.

438
00:22:24,050 --> 00:22:26,300
You want to keep his confidence.

439
00:22:26,700 --> 00:22:28,270
I get that.

440
00:22:29,030 --> 00:22:32,570
But, please...
I'm just so worried.

441
00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:37,810
Lady, I'm not comfortable
with you gettin' this close.

442
00:22:37,870 --> 00:22:39,120
Why?

443
00:22:40,390 --> 00:22:41,420
Oh!

444
00:22:42,530 --> 00:22:44,450
You're a parolee.

445
00:22:44,790 --> 00:22:47,789
You can't afford to get
in any trouble, can you?

446
00:22:47,790 --> 00:22:49,100
That's right.

447
00:22:49,340 --> 00:22:51,890
If you got accused of a crime,

448
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:54,200
they might lock you up for good.

449
00:22:54,260 --> 00:22:55,330
Huh?

450
00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:04,540
What are you doing?
When I tell people you attacked me,

451
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:06,479
I want it to look realistic.

452
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:08,889
What the hell? I never
hurt a woman in my life!

453
00:23:08,890 --> 00:23:11,290
You think the police are
gonna care about that?

454
00:23:14,030 --> 00:23:15,970
You're a convicted felon.

455
00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:19,599
You can't be doing this.
I already got two strikes.

456
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:22,219
I don't like to be unpleasant,
Mr. Yeager.

457
00:23:22,220 --> 00:23:24,380
Really, I don't.

458
00:23:24,500 --> 00:23:28,710
But I am going to find out
what my husband is up to,

459
00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:32,180
one way or the other.

460
00:23:36,610 --> 00:23:37,429
Hey, hon.

461
00:23:37,430 --> 00:23:39,739
We have to take the girls
shoe shopping this weekend.

462
00:23:39,740 --> 00:23:41,499
What's better for you,
Saturday or Sunday?

463
00:23:41,500 --> 00:23:43,519
Neither. I'm going to rancho
pines for the weekend.

464
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:45,779
Or you're gonna play golf?
This sounds like fun.

465
00:23:45,780 --> 00:23:47,560
Yeah. Bob invited me.

466
00:23:48,500 --> 00:23:50,989
Bob? You're going with Bob?

467
00:23:50,990 --> 00:23:53,120
Uh-huh. He got us a
suite at the lodge.

468
00:23:53,350 --> 00:23:56,619
Oh. So this is a-a sleepover?

469
00:23:56,620 --> 00:23:58,419
Well, it's a 6:00 A. M. tee time.

470
00:23:58,420 --> 00:24:00,210
Bob says that'll be a lot easier.

471
00:24:00,510 --> 00:24:01,870
I bet he did.

472
00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:05,699
But why not get your own room?

473
00:24:05,700 --> 00:24:08,080
Bob says he got the
last one available.

474
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:11,070
Wow, you're just trustin' Bob
left and right, aren't ya?

475
00:24:11,590 --> 00:24:12,850
What do you mean?

476
00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:16,779
I'm just surprised, that's all.
One week, we hate the gays.

477
00:24:16,780 --> 00:24:18,749
The next week,
we let 'em watch us shower.

478
00:24:18,750 --> 00:24:20,519
It's kinda kooky, don't you think?

479
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,039
What the hell are
you talking about?

480
00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:24,939
Oh, open your eyes!
This trip is not about golf for Bob.

481
00:24:24,940 --> 00:24:28,999
It is about... seduction! Really?
That's great,

482
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,609
'cause I was actually planning
on turning gay this weekend.

483
00:24:31,610 --> 00:24:33,909
Don't joke like that.
Can't you tell I'm upset?

484
00:24:33,910 --> 00:24:35,629
I can, but I don't know why.

485
00:24:35,630 --> 00:24:37,979
Even if Bob wanted to seduce me,
which I doubt,

486
00:24:37,980 --> 00:24:41,519
do you really think I'd go
along with it? Well, no.

487
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,359
Then why does this
bother you so much?

488
00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:45,630
I don't know! It just does!

489
00:24:49,030 --> 00:24:51,930
Fine. I won't go.

490
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:53,870
Really?

491
00:24:55,460 --> 00:24:57,330
Oh. Thank you.

492
00:24:59,130 --> 00:25:00,899
I certainly wouldn't
want to do anything

493
00:25:00,900 --> 00:25:02,750
that makes you think I'm gay.

494
00:25:02,990 --> 00:25:05,380
In that case,
ditch the moisturizer.

495
00:25:07,990 --> 00:25:10,499
Oh, I really hope
your parents like me.

496
00:25:10,500 --> 00:25:12,019
Relax. I already
laid the groundwork.

497
00:25:12,020 --> 00:25:13,399
I told them you were
smart and beautiful

498
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,049
and a terrific cook. Thank you.

499
00:25:15,050 --> 00:25:17,319
And what did they say
about the age difference?

500
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:19,909
Nothing. I didn't tell them.
What? Why?

501
00:25:19,910 --> 00:25:21,709
Because you look so fantastic...

502
00:25:21,710 --> 00:25:23,349
I don't even think
they're gonna notice.

503
00:25:23,350 --> 00:25:24,579
But I don't want them to think

504
00:25:24,580 --> 00:25:26,629
we're trying to put one
over on them. Here we go.

505
00:25:26,630 --> 00:25:29,850
Dad, mom, I'd like
you to meet Bree.

506
00:25:29,990 --> 00:25:32,610
Well, hi. I'm Richard.

507
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,150
This is my wife Mary.

508
00:25:38,610 --> 00:25:39,790
Well...

509
00:25:40,020 --> 00:25:41,980
Check you out.

510
00:25:53,900 --> 00:25:55,060
Bree,

511
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,779
Keith tells us you're
a professional chef.

512
00:25:57,780 --> 00:26:00,020
I was. Now I just cook for fun.

513
00:26:00,670 --> 00:26:03,890
Oh. Me, I'm retired from the army.

514
00:26:03,970 --> 00:26:08,009
So as long as it doesn't come in a can,
it tastes good to me.

515
00:26:08,010 --> 00:26:11,550
Oh, a military man. You must
have some fascinating stories.

516
00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:14,220
Ah, no. Mary's the
one with the stories.

517
00:26:15,020 --> 00:26:16,940
Guess what she does for a living.

518
00:26:18,420 --> 00:26:20,880
Yes, take a wild guess.

519
00:26:22,710 --> 00:26:24,190
She's a doctor.

520
00:26:24,820 --> 00:26:26,239
As matter of fact,

521
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:30,049
I have a brand-new,
incredible work story.

522
00:26:30,050 --> 00:26:31,099
Would you like to hear it?

523
00:26:31,100 --> 00:26:34,279
No. No, because I realize
that as a doctor,

524
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:35,939
you're prevented ethically

525
00:26:35,940 --> 00:26:39,130
from talking about your...
patients.

526
00:26:39,490 --> 00:26:41,480
Depends how drunk I am.

527
00:26:44,260 --> 00:26:45,860
So the army...

528
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:49,250
Can I just thank you for
keeping our country safe?

529
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:51,829
Let's talk about you, Bree.

530
00:26:51,830 --> 00:26:54,129
I don't know if you realize this,
but you are

531
00:26:54,130 --> 00:26:57,399
the first girlfriend that Keith
has introduced to us to... mm.

532
00:26:57,400 --> 00:26:59,680
So you must be very special.

533
00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:02,209
Yes. Keith, it seems serious.

534
00:27:02,210 --> 00:27:03,979
I mean, is... is Bree the one

535
00:27:03,980 --> 00:27:06,260
who's gonna be giving
me my grandchildren?

536
00:27:07,030 --> 00:27:08,459
Mom... huh?

537
00:27:08,460 --> 00:27:10,549
Ignore Mary. No, no,
no, ignore Mary. I...

538
00:27:10,550 --> 00:27:13,259
Grandchildren are her big thing.
Well, no, I just think

539
00:27:13,260 --> 00:27:15,289
that when you reach this
point in a relationship,

540
00:27:15,290 --> 00:27:16,789
it's something you
should talk about.

541
00:27:16,790 --> 00:27:18,249
Well, there's plenty
of time for that.

542
00:27:18,250 --> 00:27:22,939
No, not as much as you
may think. Waiter!

543
00:27:22,940 --> 00:27:23,769
Mary!

544
00:27:23,770 --> 00:27:26,919
Stop it. I think you're
embarrassing Bree.

545
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:30,950
Oh, no, no, I'm fine.
It's just a little... warm in here.

546
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:32,949
Are you sure? 'Cause this is

547
00:27:32,950 --> 00:27:35,380
exactly what happened to you
at the park the other day.

548
00:27:36,580 --> 00:27:38,609
Mom, could you take a look at her?

549
00:27:38,610 --> 00:27:39,600
Of course.

550
00:27:39,890 --> 00:27:42,420
Bree, why don't you
tell me your symptoms?

551
00:27:43,630 --> 00:27:44,980
Honestly, it's nothing.

552
00:27:46,140 --> 00:27:48,480
I just get a little
warm sometimes.

553
00:27:48,900 --> 00:27:52,469
Would you say that the
sensation comes on suddenly,

554
00:27:52,470 --> 00:27:53,660
like a...

555
00:27:53,820 --> 00:27:56,620
Like a flash of hotness?

556
00:27:56,730 --> 00:27:58,630
No. Not at all.

557
00:27:58,710 --> 00:28:00,699
Let's just... drop it.

558
00:28:00,700 --> 00:28:03,929
Well, you seem so irritated.
Before, you were so pleasant.

559
00:28:03,930 --> 00:28:08,630
Would you say that your moods
swing suddenly like this?

560
00:28:09,330 --> 00:28:12,019
What are you doing?
Stop badgering. I just...

561
00:28:12,020 --> 00:28:15,419
I'm not badgering. I'm simply
asking her to tell the truth.

562
00:28:15,420 --> 00:28:16,669
Is... is that something

563
00:28:16,670 --> 00:28:18,639
that's also difficult for
you these days, Bree?

564
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:23,190
Telling the truth? Oh,
for God sake!

565
00:28:23,420 --> 00:28:25,850
I am going through
menopause, okay?!

566
00:28:27,140 --> 00:28:30,350
That is what Dr. Wagner is
so delicately trying to say.

567
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,169
Now if you'll excuse me,
I am going to the kitchen

568
00:28:33,170 --> 00:28:36,610
to ask them if I can stand
in their walk-in freezer!

569
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:43,950
Guess what else?

570
00:28:45,750 --> 00:28:48,320
That's not her real
hair color either.

571
00:28:50,750 --> 00:28:51,770
Okay.

572
00:28:51,810 --> 00:28:52,529
Sorry.

573
00:28:52,530 --> 00:28:55,539
We should get going, Barbara.
We have a 7:00 reservation.

574
00:28:55,540 --> 00:28:57,599
And we have a whole
presentation for you

575
00:28:57,600 --> 00:28:58,719
after dessert.

576
00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:01,110
Oh, I don't know if I
can wait that long.

577
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:03,870
Can I have a sneak peek? Um...

578
00:29:04,140 --> 00:29:05,080
Sure.

579
00:29:09,450 --> 00:29:12,099
This is for your daughter's room.

580
00:29:12,100 --> 00:29:13,129
Uh, we were thinking

581
00:29:13,130 --> 00:29:15,919
all the furniture
in an antique white,

582
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:18,449
and, uh, pale rose for the walls.

583
00:29:18,450 --> 00:29:21,590
It's both elegant and feminine.

584
00:29:21,970 --> 00:29:24,659
You don't feel it might
be a little old for her?

585
00:29:24,660 --> 00:29:25,939
She's only 7.

586
00:29:25,940 --> 00:29:29,239
Oh, no. No, trust me.
This color works for all ages.

587
00:29:29,240 --> 00:29:31,430
It's a... it's a classic look. Mm.

588
00:29:32,020 --> 00:29:33,130
Or...

589
00:29:34,130 --> 00:29:38,179
Just an idea, but maybe you
could do something more playful.

590
00:29:38,180 --> 00:29:41,139
I painted the characters from
the knights of the round table

591
00:29:41,140 --> 00:29:43,749
in my son's room, and he loved it.

592
00:29:43,750 --> 00:29:46,339
And maybe you daughter
has a favorite character

593
00:29:46,340 --> 00:29:48,659
from a-a-a movie or a book?

594
00:29:48,660 --> 00:29:51,639
I'm sorry. We haven't been introduced.
I'm Barbara Fine.

595
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:53,530
Uh, this is Susan Delfino.

596
00:29:53,570 --> 00:29:54,860
The nanny.

597
00:29:56,570 --> 00:29:59,489
Well, Susan, it's a great idea.

598
00:29:59,490 --> 00:30:01,269
I'm gonna call my daughter
and see if there are

599
00:30:01,270 --> 00:30:03,839
any characters that she would
love to see on her wall.

600
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:06,460
You should show her your
other sketches. She's good.

601
00:30:12,471 --> 00:30:13,662
What the hell was that?

602
00:30:13,663 --> 00:30:17,053
Uh, it... it was just a thought.
I think she liked it.

603
00:30:17,054 --> 00:30:19,549
I don't care! You made
us look like idiots.

604
00:30:19,550 --> 00:30:21,015
That was not my intention.

605
00:30:21,016 --> 00:30:23,941
Regardless, I do not
appreciate being upstaged

606
00:30:23,942 --> 00:30:26,544
by the woman who does the dishes.

607
00:30:29,481 --> 00:30:30,966
She had no right to
talk to you like that...

608
00:30:30,967 --> 00:30:32,698
No, no.

609
00:30:32,699 --> 00:30:36,161
I... crossed the line.

610
00:30:38,016 --> 00:30:41,416
Okay, done. You ready to go?

611
00:30:43,717 --> 00:30:44,842
Yeah.

612
00:30:56,752 --> 00:30:59,928
Hey, Bob, can I borrow
a couple of eggs?

613
00:31:06,661 --> 00:31:09,282
Hey. What the hell was that about?

614
00:31:09,283 --> 00:31:12,335
Your husband canceled
our golf trip.

615
00:31:12,336 --> 00:31:14,409
Did he?

616
00:31:14,410 --> 00:31:18,711
He said you think I'm
planning to seduce him.

617
00:31:18,712 --> 00:31:22,530
We should talk about that...
after I get the eggs.

618
00:31:22,531 --> 00:31:25,445
Why would you even go there?

619
00:31:25,446 --> 00:31:28,349
Look, I know about
your history, Bob...

620
00:31:28,350 --> 00:31:31,001
Or should I say "flipper"?

621
00:31:31,002 --> 00:31:33,482
Ah. Well, Lee's a
fine one to talk.

622
00:31:33,483 --> 00:31:36,526
Did he tell you about the
summer he stalked Ryan Seacrest?

623
00:31:36,527 --> 00:31:38,556
Okay, look, I don't want
to fight about this.

624
00:31:38,557 --> 00:31:41,178
How could you think that,
Gaby? You know me.

625
00:31:41,179 --> 00:31:43,715
No, I don't! I thought I did.

626
00:31:43,716 --> 00:31:46,705
I thought you were a fun gay guy
who I had something in common with,

627
00:31:46,706 --> 00:31:48,509
and then I find out
you're into sports

628
00:31:48,510 --> 00:31:49,522
and spending time with my husband.

629
00:31:49,523 --> 00:31:53,927
What the hell was that about?
It's about me being lonely!

630
00:31:55,168 --> 00:31:58,053
You ever see anybody coming
around here to visit me?

631
00:31:58,054 --> 00:32:01,400
You ever see me going
out on a Saturday night?

632
00:32:01,401 --> 00:32:02,635
Ever since Lee left,

633
00:32:02,636 --> 00:32:06,696
all I do is work and come
home to an empty house.

634
00:32:08,994 --> 00:32:11,325
You know, I was so happy to
get your invitation to dinner.

635
00:32:11,326 --> 00:32:12,603
And when Carlos
wanted to hang out,

636
00:32:12,604 --> 00:32:16,203
I thought, this is great.
I got a social life again.

637
00:32:16,204 --> 00:32:20,587
Now to find out you
thought I had an agenda?

638
00:32:23,490 --> 00:32:25,984
Oh, Bob. I'm sorry.
I-I didn't know.

639
00:32:25,985 --> 00:32:29,735
Well... now you do.

640
00:32:31,758 --> 00:32:33,958
Let me get those eggs for you.

641
00:32:36,746 --> 00:32:39,573
Carlos can go on the weekend.

642
00:32:41,113 --> 00:32:44,206
Really? Yeah.

643
00:32:46,106 --> 00:32:48,046
Thanks.

644
00:32:51,226 --> 00:32:53,789
Oh! And if you ever
do feel the need

645
00:32:53,790 --> 00:32:54,854
to flip a straight
guy on the Lane,

646
00:32:54,855 --> 00:32:57,178
I'd start with Tom Scavo.

647
00:32:57,179 --> 00:32:59,903
I always felt he was
three beers away.

648
00:32:59,904 --> 00:33:01,922
Two.

649
00:33:13,006 --> 00:33:14,995
How was your meeting?

650
00:33:14,996 --> 00:33:16,283
Good.

651
00:33:16,284 --> 00:33:20,535
Barbara's going to hire us.
We're officially a design firm.

652
00:33:20,536 --> 00:33:22,290
That's great.

653
00:33:24,122 --> 00:33:26,104
Can I ask you something?

654
00:33:26,105 --> 00:33:28,690
Are you upset with
this arrangement?

655
00:33:28,691 --> 00:33:31,022
Because I'm getting a vibe.

656
00:33:35,524 --> 00:33:37,829
I should go.

657
00:33:39,739 --> 00:33:43,825
You are out of diapers.
I'll pick some up tomorrow.

658
00:33:43,826 --> 00:33:48,149
Susan, please. I need to know.
Are you angry with me?

659
00:33:49,352 --> 00:33:51,547
Yes. Yes, I'm angry.

660
00:33:51,548 --> 00:33:53,671
Why? All I did was give you a job.

661
00:33:53,672 --> 00:33:56,724
Yeah, the wrong job.

662
00:33:56,725 --> 00:33:58,902
When Renee called me,
I thought you were asking me

663
00:33:58,903 --> 00:34:02,698
to work with you in the
design firm. Oh, no!

664
00:34:02,699 --> 00:34:05,189
I was so excited.
I knew I'd be good at that.

665
00:34:05,190 --> 00:34:07,515
And then I find out you just
want me to be your nanny.

666
00:34:07,516 --> 00:34:10,908
I had no idea. But you know...
and don't get me wrong,

667
00:34:10,909 --> 00:34:15,750
I love you for the gesture,
but I hate you for it, too,

668
00:34:15,751 --> 00:34:19,107
because I'm not in the
position to say no.

669
00:34:19,850 --> 00:34:22,452
I-I am beyond sorry.

670
00:34:24,295 --> 00:34:25,900
It's okay.

671
00:34:25,901 --> 00:34:28,097
It's just this awful reminder

672
00:34:28,098 --> 00:34:31,475
that all of my friends
look at my differently now.

673
00:34:31,476 --> 00:34:33,460
I'm the poor one.

674
00:34:33,461 --> 00:34:35,475
Susan!

675
00:34:35,476 --> 00:34:38,062
These money troubles...
They're temporary,

676
00:34:38,063 --> 00:34:40,333
but how we feel about you,
our friendship...

677
00:34:40,334 --> 00:34:44,680
That's never going to change.

678
00:34:46,888 --> 00:34:48,748
Thank you for that.

679
00:34:48,749 --> 00:34:51,798
Ohh, come here.

680
00:34:53,333 --> 00:34:57,967
You know, I've never said
this to a nanny before...

681
00:34:57,968 --> 00:35:00,694
How about we go downstairs
and get a little drunk?

682
00:35:04,316 --> 00:35:06,550
Well, you're the boss.

683
00:35:13,042 --> 00:35:14,885
Are you coming to bed?

684
00:35:14,886 --> 00:35:17,502
I wanna make love again.

685
00:35:19,172 --> 00:35:21,648
With an invitation like that...

686
00:35:21,649 --> 00:35:23,294
No.

687
00:35:24,877 --> 00:35:27,036
Let me.

688
00:35:27,037 --> 00:35:29,532
You've turned out to
be the perfect wife.

689
00:35:29,533 --> 00:35:31,513
That's sweet,

690
00:35:31,514 --> 00:35:34,621
but not entirely true.

691
00:35:34,622 --> 00:35:36,966
You don't think I'm trustworthy.

692
00:35:36,967 --> 00:35:38,711
What?

693
00:35:38,712 --> 00:35:40,559
You won't tell me why you're
moving your ex-cellmate

694
00:35:40,560 --> 00:35:43,242
into your old house.

695
00:35:43,243 --> 00:35:46,714
Darling, I'd prefer not
to discuss that right now.

696
00:35:46,715 --> 00:35:48,720
We don't need to.

697
00:35:48,721 --> 00:35:51,990
Yeager already told
me what you're up to.

698
00:35:51,991 --> 00:35:53,446
What?

699
00:35:53,447 --> 00:35:55,831
We had a nice long chat.

700
00:35:55,832 --> 00:35:59,720
He told me what you've got
planned for our neighbors.

701
00:35:59,721 --> 00:36:03,950
I must say, I was shocked...

702
00:36:03,951 --> 00:36:06,073
To say the least.

703
00:36:06,074 --> 00:36:09,972
I know what I'm doing
might sound crazy to you,

704
00:36:09,973 --> 00:36:13,701
but you don't understand how
much I despise these people.

705
00:36:13,702 --> 00:36:16,796
You don't understand how much
I need these people to suffer

706
00:36:16,797 --> 00:36:18,090
for what they did to me.

707
00:36:18,091 --> 00:36:20,296
Well, that's where
you're wrong, Paul.

708
00:36:20,297 --> 00:36:23,452
I understand vengeance.

709
00:36:23,453 --> 00:36:26,567
Completely.

710
00:36:34,864 --> 00:36:36,547
Wow.

711
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:40,351
You really are the perfect wife.

712
00:36:54,378 --> 00:36:57,151
I'm sorry I left the
restaurant like that.

713
00:36:57,152 --> 00:37:00,612
I just couldn't go back to that
table and face your mother.

714
00:37:00,613 --> 00:37:04,333
Oh. Whew.

715
00:37:05,453 --> 00:37:09,962
So why didn't you tell me about
the whole menopause thing?

716
00:37:09,963 --> 00:37:12,542
I was afraid of how you'd react.

717
00:37:12,543 --> 00:37:15,284
You really think I would care
about something like that?

718
00:37:15,285 --> 00:37:17,295
Oh, Keith,

719
00:37:17,296 --> 00:37:20,253
I like you...

720
00:37:21,665 --> 00:37:24,807
More than I ever intended to.

721
00:37:25,664 --> 00:37:27,758
I always knew there
was an expiration date

722
00:37:27,759 --> 00:37:30,669
on this relationship.

723
00:37:30,670 --> 00:37:32,291
What?

724
00:37:32,292 --> 00:37:36,023
You are 17 years younger than me.

725
00:37:36,024 --> 00:37:38,156
That's a big number.
It means something.

726
00:37:38,157 --> 00:37:39,183
Not to me.

727
00:37:40,788 --> 00:37:42,339
It might.

728
00:37:42,340 --> 00:37:45,194
There are other considerations.

729
00:37:45,195 --> 00:37:47,895
So you can't get pregnant.

730
00:37:47,896 --> 00:37:48,863
Who cares?

731
00:37:48,864 --> 00:37:50,311
That doesn't bother you?

732
00:37:50,312 --> 00:37:52,151
No.

733
00:37:52,152 --> 00:37:53,349
No.

734
00:37:53,350 --> 00:37:54,926
We could adopt.

735
00:37:54,927 --> 00:37:57,514
So long as I get to teach
someone how to throw a ball,

736
00:37:57,515 --> 00:38:01,309
I don't care whose
D. N. A. They got.

737
00:38:02,626 --> 00:38:04,483
Oh, Keith.

738
00:38:06,676 --> 00:38:10,531
Not only can I not
have children...

739
00:38:13,123 --> 00:38:15,746
I don't want them.

740
00:38:17,524 --> 00:38:18,780
I've already done that.

741
00:38:18,781 --> 00:38:22,776
It was wonderful,
but I've done it.

742
00:38:29,791 --> 00:38:31,018
Oh.

743
00:38:32,876 --> 00:38:34,718
And you...

744
00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:37,715
You are gonna be such
an amazing father,

745
00:38:37,716 --> 00:38:41,193
and I would never ask you
to give up that experience.

746
00:38:41,194 --> 00:38:43,660
Why are we even
talking about this?

747
00:38:43,661 --> 00:38:46,010
I... we've been dating
for two months. Why...

748
00:38:46,011 --> 00:38:49,958
I... it's... it's too soon to
talk about kids, right?

749
00:38:52,761 --> 00:38:54,245
I suppose.

750
00:38:54,246 --> 00:38:59,242
Let's... let's take our time.
I-I just wanna... I...

751
00:39:02,591 --> 00:39:05,640
I-I just want us to
keep being happy, okay?

752
00:39:29,728 --> 00:39:31,605
Hey, I was just about to
head over to your place

753
00:39:31,606 --> 00:39:34,976
to pick up Carlos. Yeah,
about that... uh, I've decided

754
00:39:34,977 --> 00:39:36,868
Carlos shouldn't go
with you this weekend.

755
00:39:36,869 --> 00:39:40,209
What? Oh, for God sake.

756
00:39:40,210 --> 00:39:42,859
Ah! Wait! Let me finish!

757
00:39:42,860 --> 00:39:44,284
I've been thinking
about what you told me,

758
00:39:44,285 --> 00:39:48,799
and I realized there's somebody
else you'd have more fun with.

759
00:39:53,205 --> 00:39:55,847
Yeah, go. Shh!

760
00:39:55,848 --> 00:39:57,930
You've gotta be kidding me!

761
00:39:57,931 --> 00:40:00,509
Gaby called to say that you
were lonely and depressed,

762
00:40:00,510 --> 00:40:03,670
and once I stopped laughing,
I actually felt bad for you.

763
00:40:03,671 --> 00:40:05,189
We only broke up four months ago.

764
00:40:05,190 --> 00:40:07,036
How did you gain this much weight?

765
00:40:07,037 --> 00:40:10,206
Okay! Okay, now that
we're done saying hello,

766
00:40:10,207 --> 00:40:13,535
let's talk about this
fabulous weekend.

767
00:40:13,536 --> 00:40:16,639
Did you seriously think I
would take him? We broke up!

768
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:19,041
And it's time to put the
pieces back together.

769
00:40:19,042 --> 00:40:22,129
Let's be honest. You've
been miserable without Lee.

770
00:40:22,130 --> 00:40:23,807
And you've been
miserable without Bob.

771
00:40:23,808 --> 00:40:26,737
That's why you're gettin' so fat.

772
00:40:26,738 --> 00:40:29,178
You may not think I'm
your friend, but I am,

773
00:40:29,179 --> 00:40:30,530
and I am smart enough to know

774
00:40:30,531 --> 00:40:32,278
that you need something
more in your life

775
00:40:32,279 --> 00:40:35,613
than a straight guy
to go play golf with.

776
00:40:36,545 --> 00:40:39,175
You need somebody to love.

777
00:40:41,331 --> 00:40:43,404
And...

778
00:40:43,405 --> 00:40:47,170
You need somebody who
will love you back.

779
00:40:47,171 --> 00:40:49,127
Gaby, I appreciate
what you're doing,

780
00:40:49,128 --> 00:40:52,603
and I think... Lee
knows I still love him.

781
00:40:52,604 --> 00:40:53,869
But...

782
00:40:53,870 --> 00:40:55,772
There are still huge
issues between us.

783
00:40:55,773 --> 00:40:56,981
Huh.

784
00:40:56,982 --> 00:40:59,584
Maybe it's time to work those out.

785
00:40:59,585 --> 00:41:03,180
I'd hate to see that fabulous
resort weekend go to waste.

786
00:41:03,628 --> 00:41:05,581
Oh, come on. Talk to each other.

787
00:41:05,582 --> 00:41:09,003
Do it for me, as your friend.

788
00:41:17,674 --> 00:41:19,215
Oh.

789
00:41:20,858 --> 00:41:24,627
Oh, I forgot. One more thing...

790
00:41:26,185 --> 00:41:29,476
Okay! Never mind. I'm... I'm good.

791
00:41:42,721 --> 00:41:46,184
Humiliation...

792
00:41:47,077 --> 00:41:50,815
It's not always
something we can avoid.

793
00:41:52,229 --> 00:41:56,601
We may have wives who
insult our masculinity.

794
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:03,452
We may take jobs...

795
00:42:03,453 --> 00:42:06,700
We feel are beneath us.

796
00:42:07,870 --> 00:42:10,459
We may have boyfriends

797
00:42:10,460 --> 00:42:13,197
who make us feel old.

798
00:42:14,467 --> 00:42:17,348
Yes, there are all sorts of ways

799
00:42:17,349 --> 00:42:20,702
to be humiliated in life.

800
00:42:20,703 --> 00:42:24,358
But the surest way to
get your dignity back

801
00:42:24,359 --> 00:42:27,859
is to get what you've
been waiting for.

802
00:42:27,860 --> 00:42:30,812
I found out what Paul is up to.

803
00:42:30,813 --> 00:42:34,084
He told me everything.

804
00:42:35,827 --> 00:42:38,826
Oh, baby.

805
00:42:38,827 --> 00:42:42,214
I'm so proud of you.

806
00:42:44,471 --> 00:42:46,778
Thank you, mama.

807
00:42:46,978 --> 00:42:57,178
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