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Previously on
Desperate Housewives
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Lynette fought to save her marriage.
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I could see it in his eyes.
Tom still loves me.
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Carlos decided to change careers.
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Maybe counseling.
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In one week, a counselor does more good
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than I've done in my entire life.
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Good news...
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- We're getting married.
- Oh!
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Came with bad news.
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In the middle of his proposal,
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the cops come by to ask
about some dead body
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they found at the construction site.
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So tell me more.
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I told 'em that I didn't
know anything about it,
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and the police don't seem like
they're gonna pose a problem.
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But it became a problem for Bree...
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We're just making small
talk waiting for her lawyer.
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- Small talk's over.
- So she got the perfect lawyer.
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Let's go. You don't need his permission.
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You wanna talk to her,
you talk to me first.
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When it came to her divorce,
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Lynette Scavo was determined
to make things go smoothly.
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So when Tom was late to pick up the kids,
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she waited patiently.
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When he got something in the mail,
she held on to it.
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And when he left behind
something important,
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she brought it to him.
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Yes, after years of fighting
had led her nowhere,
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Lynette decided to take the high road.
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- Lynette?
- Oh! Hey, Gregg.
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Hey. Coming by to see
the new offices?
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I bet I could get the C.E.O.
to give you a private tour.
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Wait a second. I am the
C.E.O. I know I could.
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No, thanks.
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I'm just dropping something
off that Tom forgot at home.
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Oh, wow.
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My ex wouldn't bring anything
by for me unless it was ticking.
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Oh.
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So... how's everything
going with your separation?
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I'm guessing you know the answer
to that, having been there.
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Yeah, it's been two years since
my divorce, and it still sucks.
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Ah.
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You know, it might not
be my place to say it,
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but I think Tom's nuts for letting you go.
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That's very sweet.
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So are you seeing anyone?
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That's... a little nosey.
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Sorry. I-I'm just saying,
if you ever wanted
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to have a drink and vent
with somebody who gets it,
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- I would gladly be that person.
- Okay.
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Sweet again, but I think
that might be a little weird
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with you being Tom's boss.
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Yeah, I get that.
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I just wouldn't forgive
myself if I didn't ask.
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But never worry
if you're gonna be okay, Lynette.
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You will. You are the exact kind of woman
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that most men out there are looking for.
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Well, thanks. I-I always
liked this picture of us.
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You're welcome.
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Oh, hey, I'm off on Friday,
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so we can leave early for the cabin.
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Uh, bad news. Uh,
I checked the weather up there.
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It looks like rain for this weekend.
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So? I wasn't seeing us spending
a lot of time outdoors.
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I think we have a little...
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"Horizontal" to catch up on.
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It's kind of been a while, hasn't it?
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Well, I guess, with, uh,
work and everything.
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A cabin, the rain...
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a bed.
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It's gonna be a good weekend.
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Yes, Lynette had tried hard
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to take the high road in her divorce...
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Hey, Gregg.
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That drink... I'd actually enjoy that.
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But sometimes, the low
road was easier to find.
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Carlos Solis was used to
sitting in a position of power,
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whether it was behind
the wheel of a powerful car...
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at the head of a power lunch...
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or at the helm of a powerful company.
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But now that Carlos Solis
had started a new career,
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he suddenly found himself
in a much humbler place.
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So... what do you think of my new office?
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Okay, I'll admit it's a little
bit on the bare bones side...
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Are you kidding?
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All you need is some yellow tape
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and a noose hanging from the ceiling,
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and you'll be ready to entertain.
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I like it, daddy.
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Thank you, baby.
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Aw, that's so sweet.
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You're lying to spare
your daddy's feelings.
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Seriously, honey, there's a guy
down at the department store
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who dresses all the windows.
Maybe he could spruce it up.
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"Spruce it up"?
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Gaby, we can barely
keep the lights on here.
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Our budget is tiny,
and every cent goes towards
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helping addicts,
finding them jobs, housing...
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Okay, okay. Save it for the pamphlet.
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All I'm saying is, if I was an addict,
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rooms like this are why
I shoot up in the first place.
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Okay, behave. Listen to your daddy.
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I'll see you tonight.
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Whoa, whoa, whoa!
I can't take the girls to school.
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You always take them.
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I have to go to work early today.
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Well, I'm at work right now.
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Carlos, how much do you make in an hour?
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$12.
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I just made $12 listening
to you tell me you make $12.
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Gaby, come on. This job
is very important to me.
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I'm doing very meaningful work.
You should be proud of that.
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Well, when we can pay
our mortgage in "Meaningful,"
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I will be.
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Mwah.
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Hey, buddy. How was school?
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Okay. I'm starving.
Can I have some cookies?
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Sure.
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Didn't you like the turkey
sandwich I made you?
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Not really.
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I tried to trade it to John Gurry
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for a book about worms,
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but he backed out 'cause
you used too much mayo.
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Sorry. Didn't realize
the worm kid was such a gourmet.
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What's this?
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Nothing.
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Wait. Your school's
having a soapbox derby.
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Yeah.
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Well, that sounds like so much fun.
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It's for dads and sons.
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Yes... but it doesn't say
moms can't do it, too.
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That's okay. I don't have to do it.
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Besides, it's in three days.
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Oh. That's really soon.
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I guess we should get started.
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Oh, come on.
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I don't want you to
miss out on all the fun.
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Mom, you can't make a car.
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What makes you say that?
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'Cause you can't even
make a turkey sandwich.
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Well, thank goodness I have
the most talented partner.
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Now come on. We're wasting time.
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Let's get hammering.
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Seriously? You're telling me
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you're against the death penalty?
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I've just seen too many cases
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where the wrong person gets convicted.
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Not my clients, of course.
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Well, I just think
our society's gotten too soft.
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We need a powerful deterrent
to stop these killers.
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You do realize you're not on trial
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for a parking ticket, right?
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Kidding. Hey, I'm just...
just trying to lighten the mood.
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Tomorrow's gonna be fine.
It's just a pre-trial hearing.
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Yes, which brings me one step
closer to the real thing.
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So what exactly... will we
be doing at this hearing?
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You will sit there and
look classy and innocent.
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I will try to get as much of
their case tossed as I can.
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And your success rate at
this sort of thing is?
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Impressive.
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I once defended a woman who ran a brothel.
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At the pre-trial,
I got the whole thing reduced
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to operating a business
without a fire door.
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That's terrible.
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What? What, me being a great lawyer?
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No, defending a prostitute.
Call me old-fashioned,
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but I find that line of
work rather distasteful.
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So-so if she ran a cigarette company,
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or manufactured handguns, she's a-ok,
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but-but selling men a little ring-a-ding
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makes her a pariah.
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Okay, first of all, "Ring-a-ding"?
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Second, sex, isn't a commodity.
It's... sacred.
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Yeah, I'll say, and for this woman,
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sacred cost 400 bucks a pop.
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Can we please stop talking
about it? It's tawdry.
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And that little crack about
manufacturing handguns?
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I hope that doesn't mean you're anti-gun.
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I've sued the N.R.A. three times.
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It is my dream to one day take
those sons of bitches down.
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Well, when it comes to my guns,
you're gonna have to pry them
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out of my cold, dead hands.
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- "Guns"? Plural?
- Mm-hmm.
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What, is that so you can, uh,
coordinate your firearms
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with your shoes?
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You and I are never gonna
agree on anything, are we?
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This salad kind of sucks.
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I agree.
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Not with the language,
but with the observation.
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I have never met anyone
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who can pull off a cape
like you, Mrs. Duncan.
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And this is our last one,
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so I'm not letting you
leave here without it.
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Uh-oh. Another stray from
the land of elastic waistbands.
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Avert your eyes. I'll get rid of her.
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Hello, dear.
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You must have taken a wrong turn.
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Sensible shoes are one floor down.
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Oh, actually, I'm looking
for a personal shopper.
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I need help.
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Okay. Um...
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you're welcome.
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Oh, champagne. Oh...
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00:09:14,610 --> 00:09:17,860
Oh, no, no. This is just
for high-end customers.
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00:09:17,860 --> 00:09:19,910
And me. My husband's an alcoholic.
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So I can only drink at work.
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I'm looking to freshen up my wardrobe.
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I haven't bought new clothes
in quite some time.
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I understand. Fixed income?
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00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:33,860
No. My rich husband was
a stingy son of a bitch,
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and now he's toes up. I am ready to spend.
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00:09:38,830 --> 00:09:39,870
Who was your husband?
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00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:41,410
William Hammond.
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00:09:41,410 --> 00:09:43,090
- As in the Hammond theater?
- Mm-hmm.
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00:09:43,090 --> 00:09:44,420
- And the Hammond hospital?
- Yep.
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00:09:44,420 --> 00:09:46,340
And the Hammond library?
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- So you've heard of him.
- Are you kidding?
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I've been to shows in that theater,
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I've given birth in that hospital,
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and I went into that library
once for directions.
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Oh. Well, sit down
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while I pull you some clothes.
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Oh. There you go.
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00:09:58,850 --> 00:10:00,160
Well, thank you.
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00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,800
Oh, honey. Look at that cape.
227
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That looks interesting.
228
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,200
Give me that. You look like batman.
229
00:10:11,580 --> 00:10:12,700
There you go.
230
00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:19,040
And for the reception,
I was thinking of a jazz band.
231
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:20,210
Wouldn't that be cool?
232
00:10:20,210 --> 00:10:23,190
Eh, I like jazz.
Uh, but if you're interested
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00:10:23,190 --> 00:10:25,510
in a little, uh,
traditional australian music,
234
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I know this guy who plays
a badass didgeridoo.
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Jazz it is.
236
00:10:31,950 --> 00:10:33,790
Okay, we've done enough.
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Let me clean this up,
and then we can go upstairs
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for a preview of our wedding night.
239
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:42,090
Oh, now you're talking.
I'll grab some wine.
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I know this might surprise you,
241
00:10:44,070 --> 00:10:46,740
but I actually have a few moves saved up
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for my first night as Mrs. Ben Faulkner.
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Uh... it's not that I don't believe it.
244
00:10:51,830 --> 00:10:54,720
I just... can't imagine... what's left.
245
00:10:56,570 --> 00:10:58,380
Oh, yeah, that's just some,
uh, some business stuff
246
00:10:58,380 --> 00:11:01,690
- that I need to take.
- No, it's a subpoena.
247
00:11:02,180 --> 00:11:06,180
You're on the witness list
for Bree's trial? Why?
248
00:11:06,190 --> 00:11:08,970
Uh, beats me. I-I th-think
they made a mistake.
249
00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:12,240
Kind of a coincidence, though.
250
00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:13,830
Well... the cops questioning you
251
00:11:13,830 --> 00:11:15,500
about that body they found on site
252
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:19,040
and then Bree getting
arrested for killing the guy?
253
00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:22,820
Ben, don't lie to me.
254
00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:24,860
I can handle anything you tell me,
255
00:11:24,860 --> 00:11:26,550
just as long as it's the truth.
256
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,470
Um... okay.
257
00:11:29,470 --> 00:11:31,540
Listen, Renee, let's just drop this, okay?
258
00:11:31,540 --> 00:11:34,900
No. I'm about to become your wife.
259
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:35,980
You wanna keep a secret
260
00:11:35,980 --> 00:11:39,260
about touching another boy's
didgeridoo at summer camp, fine.
261
00:11:39,340 --> 00:11:40,700
But not about a murder.
262
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:45,620
Holy crap.
263
00:11:46,320 --> 00:11:47,280
I'm right.
264
00:11:48,550 --> 00:11:51,530
Tell me what's going on,
or I'm walking out of this house.
265
00:11:51,530 --> 00:11:53,530
You're gonna need to
let me think about it.
266
00:11:56,370 --> 00:11:57,720
I don't believe this.
267
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:01,960
My, uh, my first husband
kept secrets from me,
268
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:03,930
and it ended our marriage.
269
00:12:05,270 --> 00:12:06,940
I'm not going down this road again.
270
00:12:17,530 --> 00:12:18,930
Gaby, why is there an old lady
271
00:12:18,930 --> 00:12:20,700
sitting at our dining room table?
272
00:12:21,210 --> 00:12:23,010
Do you have any idea who that is?
273
00:12:23,010 --> 00:12:25,610
I think my generic reference
to her as "Old lady"
274
00:12:25,610 --> 00:12:26,670
kinda says I don't.
275
00:12:26,670 --> 00:12:27,890
She's Doris Hammond,
276
00:12:27,890 --> 00:12:29,620
as in Hammond investments.
277
00:12:29,620 --> 00:12:30,830
Ring any bells?
278
00:12:30,940 --> 00:12:32,180
Bill Hammond's widow?
279
00:12:32,870 --> 00:12:34,820
Guy made a killing in private equity.
280
00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:35,860
Why is she here?
281
00:12:35,860 --> 00:12:38,000
She's my best customer down at Cumberly's,
282
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,130
I think mostly 'cause
she sees me as her friend.
283
00:12:40,130 --> 00:12:43,050
Oh. So you thought you'd exploit that...
284
00:12:43,050 --> 00:12:44,400
invite a lonely widow to dinner,
285
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:45,630
pretend she's your friend,
286
00:12:45,630 --> 00:12:47,010
just to make money off of her.
287
00:12:47,730 --> 00:12:48,480
Exactly.
288
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:50,350
Gaby, can't I just take my plate upstairs?
289
00:12:50,350 --> 00:12:51,320
I'm exhausted.
290
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:52,260
You're exhausted?
291
00:12:52,260 --> 00:12:54,470
I had to watch a 20 minute iPhone video
292
00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:56,030
of her cat taking a nap
in a laundry basket
293
00:12:56,030 --> 00:12:57,330
just to sell her a coat.
294
00:12:57,330 --> 00:12:59,020
Now get out there, lose your top button,
295
00:12:59,020 --> 00:13:00,100
and look pretty.
296
00:13:03,390 --> 00:13:07,360
Doris, I can't get over how
lovely that jacket looks on you.
297
00:13:07,850 --> 00:13:09,410
Isn't it lovely, Carlos?
298
00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,690
Yeah, it's great.
299
00:13:13,130 --> 00:13:17,060
Oh, I almost had a heart
attack when I saw the price.
300
00:13:17,220 --> 00:13:19,160
I guess I just have to get comfortable
301
00:13:19,160 --> 00:13:20,730
with the idea of spending money.
302
00:13:20,730 --> 00:13:23,310
That's right, and tomorrow when
the new fall line comes in,
303
00:13:23,310 --> 00:13:25,110
we're gonna get you real comfortable.
304
00:13:26,590 --> 00:13:27,870
So, Carlos...
305
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:29,770
what is it you do?
306
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:34,860
I... work for a nonprofit
that helps recovering addicts.
307
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,390
Oh, I'm sorry.
308
00:13:41,390 --> 00:13:43,320
Was Carlos talking about his charity?
309
00:13:43,330 --> 00:13:45,020
Good thing we weren't
operating heavy machinery,
310
00:13:45,030 --> 00:13:46,090
huh, Doris?
311
00:13:46,820 --> 00:13:48,630
You'll have to excuse my wife.
312
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:51,110
Not the biggest fan of what I do.
313
00:13:51,410 --> 00:13:53,150
Oh, that's silly.
314
00:13:53,150 --> 00:13:55,790
Philanthropy is very important.
315
00:13:55,930 --> 00:13:59,460
My Bill gave generously
to many worthy causes.
316
00:14:00,850 --> 00:14:02,610
Okay, if we're gonna keep
talking about charity,
317
00:14:02,610 --> 00:14:05,020
I'll make coffee. We're gonna need it.
318
00:14:08,670 --> 00:14:10,800
Boy, Bill left quite a legacy.
319
00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:12,580
Have you ever thought
about carrying that on?
320
00:14:12,580 --> 00:14:17,100
Oh, I'd love to, but
I wouldn't know where to begin.
321
00:14:18,450 --> 00:14:19,670
Maybe I could help.
322
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,580
So my ex's lawyer says,
"We believe it's fair"
323
00:14:23,580 --> 00:14:26,910
"for Mr. Limon to pay
an additional $1 million."
324
00:14:27,310 --> 00:14:29,670
And I said... and this is how my mouth
325
00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:31,100
always gets me in trouble...
326
00:14:31,100 --> 00:14:32,990
"So that comes out to what,"
327
00:14:32,990 --> 00:14:35,030
"about $1 a pound"?
328
00:14:35,110 --> 00:14:38,460
Oh, man. And the judge...
329
00:14:38,460 --> 00:14:40,730
Not amused, which is why I wound up paying
330
00:14:40,730 --> 00:14:43,020
an additional $2 million.
331
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:48,130
Ohh. Tom and I are going to try
to do this without lawyers.
332
00:14:48,176 --> 00:14:48,874
Huh.
333
00:14:49,210 --> 00:14:50,170
What does that mean, "Huh"?
334
00:14:50,170 --> 00:14:51,690
We've known each other 25 years.
335
00:14:51,690 --> 00:14:52,640
We have kids together.
336
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:53,510
And that's great.
337
00:14:53,510 --> 00:14:56,780
It's all great, but there
is another person involved.
338
00:14:57,800 --> 00:14:58,840
Jane.
339
00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:01,300
And trust me, she is gonna
be in his ear the whole time
340
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:02,550
about the settlement.
341
00:15:02,670 --> 00:15:05,660
By the way, I do not get
the attraction there.
342
00:15:06,250 --> 00:15:08,220
Well, let's save that
topic for another night.
343
00:15:08,220 --> 00:15:09,700
We can do hours on that one.
344
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:10,440
Another night?
345
00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:13,080
- So this is going pretty good.
- Yeah. It's been great.
346
00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:15,480
Well, okay, we should do it again.
347
00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:16,930
How about Saturday night?
348
00:15:19,280 --> 00:15:20,840
This Saturday's bad.
349
00:15:20,970 --> 00:15:22,420
Tom needs me to switch weekends
350
00:15:22,420 --> 00:15:25,280
because he's going away with... Jane.
351
00:15:25,980 --> 00:15:29,490
Well... it'd be kind of a shame
352
00:15:29,490 --> 00:15:31,950
if some last-minute stuff came up at work,
353
00:15:31,950 --> 00:15:33,110
and he wasn't able to go.
354
00:15:33,110 --> 00:15:34,720
- Yeah.
- I guess that would mean
355
00:15:34,730 --> 00:15:35,720
he wouldn't have to switch weekends,
356
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:37,970
and that would free you up for Saturday.
357
00:15:38,970 --> 00:15:41,030
Did I get that calculus right?
358
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,060
Are you saying in order
to get a date with me,
359
00:15:45,060 --> 00:15:46,340
you'd mess with Tom?
360
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:48,650
Don't think of it so
much as messing with Tom.
361
00:15:48,650 --> 00:15:50,900
Think of it more as messing with...
362
00:15:51,570 --> 00:15:52,960
- Jane.
- Jane.
363
00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:58,440
Oh, my God. It's staying together.
364
00:15:58,930 --> 00:16:00,200
How long is this race?
365
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,000
- Three minutes.
- Three minutes!
366
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,720
This can totally stay
together for three minutes.
367
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,630
Can I go now?
368
00:16:06,630 --> 00:16:08,910
I was gonna have you help
me put on the wheels.
369
00:16:08,910 --> 00:16:10,990
No, thanks. Juanita found a dead squirrel,
370
00:16:10,990 --> 00:16:12,690
so I kinda wanna check it out.
371
00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:16,230
Well, of course.
372
00:16:16,290 --> 00:16:17,800
Gotta see the dead squirrel.
373
00:16:19,380 --> 00:16:20,690
Only touch it with a stick!
374
00:16:20,690 --> 00:16:22,050
No fingers!
375
00:16:23,470 --> 00:16:25,470
Blown off for a dead squirrel?
376
00:16:25,710 --> 00:16:27,700
Boy, does that bring back memories.
377
00:16:28,740 --> 00:16:29,870
New hobby?
378
00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:34,090
Oh, M.J. and I are building
this soapbox thingy car
379
00:16:34,090 --> 00:16:35,620
for the school's big race.
380
00:16:35,750 --> 00:16:36,860
You should get Tom to help.
381
00:16:36,870 --> 00:16:38,530
He did it with all our boys.
382
00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:39,810
It's how they learned to swear.
383
00:16:39,810 --> 00:16:42,360
Oh. That's okay. I'll figure it out.
384
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:44,530
I am telling you, he loves this stuff.
385
00:16:44,530 --> 00:16:46,020
I'm gonna give him a call.
386
00:16:46,070 --> 00:16:49,580
Oh, thanks, but I really think
it's better if I do it myself.
387
00:16:49,580 --> 00:16:50,650
But Tom can just...
388
00:16:50,650 --> 00:16:54,370
Tom is not... gonna be
around all the time.
389
00:16:57,810 --> 00:16:59,930
I'm sorry. I mean, you know what I mean.
390
00:16:59,930 --> 00:17:02,430
I do. Since Tom and I split,
391
00:17:02,430 --> 00:17:05,580
I know how hard it is
to be both Mom and Dad,
392
00:17:05,730 --> 00:17:08,240
but I also know it's okay to ask for help.
393
00:17:08,850 --> 00:17:12,500
No. I can do this. I have to.
394
00:17:12,610 --> 00:17:16,210
And you know what?
I think it's gonna turn out great.
395
00:17:28,070 --> 00:17:30,010
Do you always move
your lips when you read?
396
00:17:30,010 --> 00:17:31,420
Do you always comment on everything
397
00:17:31,420 --> 00:17:32,440
that bugs you about me?
398
00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:34,430
I haven't said a word about your tie.
399
00:17:35,530 --> 00:17:39,830
Okay, we're here for discovery
compliance, and trial setting.
400
00:17:39,830 --> 00:17:42,840
Ms. Stone, Mr. Weston,
you've exchanged witness lists?
401
00:17:42,950 --> 00:17:45,600
The people have no objection
to Mr. Weston's list.
402
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,850
Mr. Weston, any objections?
403
00:17:47,850 --> 00:17:48,880
That depends.
404
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:52,560
Who are the gentlemen
from number 16 to 28?
405
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:54,440
I've never heard these names before.
406
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,810
Your client has.
407
00:17:56,020 --> 00:17:59,270
They're men she met at a bar,
brought home, and had sex with.
408
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,150
This is ridiculous.
409
00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:05,310
Your Honor, the defense
will argue that there's
410
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:06,920
no suggestion of a relationship
411
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,390
between Ms. Van De Kamp and Mr. Sanchez,
412
00:18:09,390 --> 00:18:10,830
that she never even met him.
413
00:18:10,830 --> 00:18:13,790
- Because she hadn't.
- Some of these men will testify
414
00:18:13,790 --> 00:18:16,470
that she was so intoxicated
during their time together,
415
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:18,920
that she didn't remember
anything about the liaison.
416
00:18:19,820 --> 00:18:22,530
Suggesting that she could
have slept with Mr. Sanchez.
417
00:18:24,450 --> 00:18:29,160
So under Ms. Stone's
"forgetful slut" theory,
418
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:32,290
you can connect my client
to any man in Fairview.
419
00:18:32,300 --> 00:18:34,210
Well, not every man in Fairview ended up
420
00:18:34,210 --> 00:18:36,600
with the defendant's
fingerprint on his shirt,
421
00:18:36,690 --> 00:18:38,330
But Mr. Sanchez did.
422
00:18:40,540 --> 00:18:43,670
Your Honor, the idea that my client
423
00:18:43,670 --> 00:18:46,510
would conduct herself in...
in that manner is absurd.
424
00:18:46,510 --> 00:18:49,370
She is a paragon of
virtue in the community,
425
00:18:49,370 --> 00:18:52,040
a champion of conservative values...
426
00:18:57,290 --> 00:18:59,000
Short recess, Your Honor?
427
00:19:00,790 --> 00:19:01,750
Bree...
428
00:19:02,780 --> 00:19:05,800
Bree, is this true?
Did you sleep with Ramon Sanchez?
429
00:19:06,290 --> 00:19:07,200
No.
430
00:19:08,580 --> 00:19:09,610
But the other men?
431
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:13,560
How the hell could you not tell me this?
432
00:19:16,250 --> 00:19:18,030
Oh, all right, okay. This...
433
00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:21,350
this is okay as long as
we can stay in front of it.
434
00:19:21,350 --> 00:19:26,680
Um... I need to know exactly
who you slept with and when...
435
00:19:26,690 --> 00:19:29,360
Are you kidding me? No.
436
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,600
Bree, if I'm going to defend you,
437
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:33,840
I need to know the truth.
438
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,960
I'm sorry, but I can't
talk about this with you.
439
00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:49,670
Gaby?
440
00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:52,430
Doris, you won't believe
what just got off the plane.
441
00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:55,420
The most beautifully
embroidered chinese silk,
442
00:19:55,420 --> 00:19:56,780
and if you listen to it carefully,
443
00:19:56,780 --> 00:19:59,710
you can hear little children asking,
"When's dinner?"
444
00:20:00,350 --> 00:20:01,970
Oh, I'm gonna have to
stop you right there.
445
00:20:01,970 --> 00:20:04,250
Okay, a little insensitive. My bad.
446
00:20:04,250 --> 00:20:06,630
No, I-I've had a change of heart,
447
00:20:06,630 --> 00:20:08,920
and I can't buy anything more from you.
448
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,130
In fact, I need to return these.
449
00:20:11,140 --> 00:20:13,500
What? You can't. I work on commission.
450
00:20:13,510 --> 00:20:16,320
I-I mean, you love these clothes.
451
00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,230
Did you know that one of these scarves
452
00:20:18,230 --> 00:20:20,540
could buy a month of vocational training
453
00:20:20,540 --> 00:20:22,720
for a homeless addict?
454
00:20:23,090 --> 00:20:25,250
No, but that sounds awfully familiar.
455
00:20:25,250 --> 00:20:28,650
It was in the pamphlet that
Carlos slipped me last night.
456
00:20:28,990 --> 00:20:30,080
He did what now?
457
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:31,870
And we talked on the phone this morning,
458
00:20:31,870 --> 00:20:35,080
and he reminded me of what
my husband used to say...
459
00:20:35,080 --> 00:20:38,000
that "Those who do well
must also do good."
460
00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:40,500
That sounds like Carlos.
461
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,580
He's a very special guy.
462
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:45,910
Hold on to him.
463
00:20:47,340 --> 00:20:48,460
Well, now that you mention it,
464
00:20:48,460 --> 00:20:50,420
I can't wait to get my hands on him.
465
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,210
Do you have any idea how much commission
466
00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:54,080
- I stood to make from this lady?
- Gaby.
467
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,730
Doris was my golden goose.
I was fattening her up,
468
00:20:56,730 --> 00:20:59,050
and then you went and stole all her eggs,
469
00:20:59,050 --> 00:21:01,230
and-and, well, I don't know
where this metaphor is going,
470
00:21:01,230 --> 00:21:03,290
- but I am mad at you, mister.
- Gaby.
471
00:21:03,290 --> 00:21:06,310
No, stop "Gaby"-ing me.
I will not be "Gaby"-ed.
472
00:21:06,310 --> 00:21:09,310
Look, where Doris puts
her money is her decision.
473
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:12,470
Tomorrow morning, 9:00,
she's putting it here.
474
00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:15,600
Okay. You don't have to be so smug
475
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,490
just 'cause you're "doing charity".
476
00:21:17,730 --> 00:21:21,080
No quotation marks.
I'm actually doing charity,
477
00:21:21,090 --> 00:21:22,790
helping people get their lives together.
478
00:21:22,790 --> 00:21:24,680
And I'm helping people put
their wardrobes together.
479
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,190
Potato, potahto.
480
00:21:26,850 --> 00:21:28,050
I got to run to a meeting.
481
00:21:28,050 --> 00:21:29,200
Now? We're in the middle of an argument.
482
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,420
Yeah, but it's no fun to
argue when only one side
483
00:21:31,430 --> 00:21:32,860
is morally defensible.
484
00:21:32,860 --> 00:21:34,280
But you know what it is fun?
485
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:35,510
A little victory dance.
486
00:21:37,978 --> 00:21:40,057
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
487
00:21:47,810 --> 00:21:49,560
Okay, it took me all night,
488
00:21:49,560 --> 00:21:51,520
and I scraped off two of my knuckles,
489
00:21:51,520 --> 00:21:52,810
and I drank so much green tea
490
00:21:52,810 --> 00:21:54,560
that one of my eyes won't stop twitching,
491
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:58,490
but... it's... finished.
492
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:07,430
Okay. Before you say anything,
493
00:22:07,430 --> 00:22:09,390
I designed the flame decals myself,
494
00:22:09,390 --> 00:22:11,570
so if you don't like them,
they're totally removable.
495
00:22:11,570 --> 00:22:14,610
but personally, I like them.
I think they're awesome.
496
00:22:14,610 --> 00:22:18,480
And there's a basket on the
back for sundries or snacks
497
00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:21,510
or thumb tacks to throw under
the competition's tires.
498
00:22:21,510 --> 00:22:24,190
But why would you need to cheat
with a car like this, right?
499
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:27,540
Are you gonna say something?
500
00:22:28,020 --> 00:22:29,060
Oh, I get it.
501
00:22:29,060 --> 00:22:30,930
You hate the basket. Guess what.
502
00:22:30,930 --> 00:22:32,520
Basket gone.
503
00:22:35,130 --> 00:22:38,080
Oh, come on. I've been doing
this for two days straight.
504
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:39,570
You gotta give me something.
505
00:22:40,410 --> 00:22:43,040
I... love it.
506
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:44,000
You do?
507
00:22:44,930 --> 00:22:47,780
Hee hee! I mean, of course you do.
508
00:22:47,820 --> 00:22:50,850
But seriously, if you have any
thoughts or tweaks, tell me.
509
00:22:50,850 --> 00:22:52,410
'Cause we still have
a day before the race.
510
00:22:52,410 --> 00:22:54,390
No, no, it's perfect.
511
00:22:54,390 --> 00:22:56,490
Oh, I'm so relieved.
512
00:22:56,490 --> 00:22:57,770
You wanna take it for a spin?
513
00:22:57,780 --> 00:23:00,840
Yeah, but... I'm kind of thirsty.
514
00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:02,450
Can you get me something to drink?
515
00:23:02,450 --> 00:23:06,300
Of course. Two frosty
non-caffeinated root beers
516
00:23:06,300 --> 00:23:07,780
coming right up.
517
00:23:21,360 --> 00:23:24,460
Oh, my god! What did you do?
518
00:23:24,460 --> 00:23:26,830
I didn't see it coming. I'm so sorry.
519
00:23:26,830 --> 00:23:29,880
No, not you! My son! You can go.
520
00:23:33,460 --> 00:23:37,380
M.J., did you wreck the car on purpose?
521
00:23:37,900 --> 00:23:41,680
No. It just rolled down the driveway.
522
00:23:42,730 --> 00:23:44,510
It's a flat driveway.
523
00:23:46,120 --> 00:23:47,810
Okay, I did it.
524
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:51,980
Why?
525
00:23:51,980 --> 00:23:53,660
I hate that car.
526
00:23:54,370 --> 00:23:55,440
Well, then we'll change it.
527
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,380
We'll make it whatever you want to.
528
00:23:57,380 --> 00:24:00,450
I don't wanna do it.
I don't wanna be the weirdo.
529
00:24:01,990 --> 00:24:04,490
Honey, did someone call you a weirdo?
530
00:24:04,490 --> 00:24:07,070
They don't have to.
They're always staring at me
531
00:24:07,070 --> 00:24:10,270
and treating me different
'cause I don't have a dad.
532
00:24:10,810 --> 00:24:11,980
Oh, honey.
533
00:24:11,980 --> 00:24:14,020
And if I go to the Father-Son Derby,
534
00:24:14,020 --> 00:24:16,120
and I'm the only kid with his mom,
535
00:24:16,120 --> 00:24:18,390
it's gonna be even worse.
536
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,600
I'm so sorry. I had no idea.
537
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:23,890
What can I do to make it better?
538
00:24:24,370 --> 00:24:27,290
Nothing. I just want dad.
539
00:24:39,216 --> 00:24:39,907
Hey!
540
00:24:40,006 --> 00:24:41,780
Hey! How was soccer?
541
00:24:41,780 --> 00:24:43,440
Awesome. I think we're gonna
542
00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:45,960
kick San Marino's ass on Saturday.
543
00:24:46,030 --> 00:24:47,990
Nice. You want me to make
you something to eat?
544
00:24:47,990 --> 00:24:49,590
Thanks. I'm gonna get changed.
545
00:24:49,812 --> 00:24:50,813
- Hey.
- Hey.
546
00:24:51,050 --> 00:24:55,220
It's cute how her generation
thinks that sport is interesting.
547
00:24:55,470 --> 00:24:57,870
Oh, and, um, I will bring
her to the game Saturday.
548
00:24:57,870 --> 00:25:00,160
Looks like we won't
need to switch weekends.
549
00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:04,030
I thought you and Jane were going away.
550
00:25:04,250 --> 00:25:06,080
Can't. I got to work.
551
00:25:06,110 --> 00:25:08,220
Gregg wants me to rework
the strategic plan
552
00:25:08,220 --> 00:25:10,140
the international guys did, so...
553
00:25:10,230 --> 00:25:12,010
Huh. Well, that sucks.
554
00:25:12,010 --> 00:25:13,570
Never liked that guy.
555
00:25:14,350 --> 00:25:16,110
Then why'd you go out with him?
556
00:25:17,580 --> 00:25:20,130
I mean, he said you guys
had drinks the other night?
557
00:25:20,130 --> 00:25:23,700
It was nothing. We just, you know...
558
00:25:23,950 --> 00:25:26,050
hung out for a bit.
559
00:25:26,250 --> 00:25:30,050
You do realize that that
could be awkward for me.
560
00:25:31,210 --> 00:25:33,260
Huh. That's weird.
561
00:25:33,260 --> 00:25:34,520
What?
562
00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:36,600
I have an "Isn't That Ironic" app
563
00:25:36,610 --> 00:25:39,110
that usually buzzes when
people say stuff like that.
564
00:25:39,110 --> 00:25:42,450
I'm serious, Lynette. That's where I work.
565
00:25:42,990 --> 00:25:45,050
It was just drinks with a guy I know,
566
00:25:45,050 --> 00:25:46,610
who happens to be your boss.
567
00:25:46,610 --> 00:25:48,750
I promise not to do anything embarrassing
568
00:25:48,850 --> 00:25:52,080
like... kissing in the office.
569
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:58,180
Okay. You know what? You wanna see Gregg?
570
00:25:58,190 --> 00:25:59,530
It's fine with me.
571
00:26:06,590 --> 00:26:08,800
How about if instead of
eating this sandwich,
572
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:10,780
I just wanted to eat chocolate?
573
00:26:10,780 --> 00:26:13,640
Hey. How about... "No"?
574
00:26:14,550 --> 00:26:17,390
But what if I told you
something about dad and Jane
575
00:26:17,390 --> 00:26:19,500
that would make you very happy?
576
00:26:19,940 --> 00:26:21,210
Then could I?
577
00:26:21,810 --> 00:26:24,680
Why, you little finagler.
578
00:26:24,740 --> 00:26:26,820
How do I know your
information is even worth
579
00:26:26,820 --> 00:26:29,970
the fine Belgian chocolates that
I have hidden in the pantry?
580
00:26:30,040 --> 00:26:31,150
Oh, it is.
581
00:26:31,150 --> 00:26:35,760
Oh. It would be wrong to teach you
that this kind of blackmail works.
582
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,110
Besides, I can see
583
00:26:37,110 --> 00:26:39,210
you're just bursting to tell me anyway.
584
00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:42,660
When dad told Jane he had
to work this weekend,
585
00:26:42,660 --> 00:26:44,160
she kind of lost it.
586
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:47,560
Really? The chocolate that
I am in no way trading
587
00:26:47,560 --> 00:26:49,810
for this information has almonds in it.
588
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:53,020
She was all, "We never have time together"
589
00:26:53,030 --> 00:26:56,100
and "You still haven't
filed the divorce papers."
590
00:26:56,100 --> 00:26:58,390
Is that true? He hasn't?
591
00:26:58,390 --> 00:27:01,590
The envelope is still sitting
on a shelf in the kitchen.
592
00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:03,940
Put the sandwich down,
593
00:27:03,950 --> 00:27:06,310
or you won't have any
room left for chocolate.
594
00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:17,390
Well, look who strolled
in from the outback.
595
00:27:17,490 --> 00:27:18,900
Where the hell have you been?
596
00:27:18,900 --> 00:27:22,590
Sorry. I really needed to
sort through some stuff.
597
00:27:22,590 --> 00:27:25,030
Stuff? You mean what hors d'oeuvres
598
00:27:25,030 --> 00:27:26,640
we'll be serving at the wedding,
599
00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:29,160
or are you referring to the dead body?
600
00:27:32,330 --> 00:27:35,840
Hey, if you plan on staying,
you'd better start talking.
601
00:27:36,980 --> 00:27:40,670
I am impossibly in love with you, Renee.
602
00:27:41,570 --> 00:27:44,170
And there's nothing I want
more than to come clean.
603
00:27:44,670 --> 00:27:46,280
But if I tell you what's going on,
604
00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:48,220
you could get dragged into this,
605
00:27:48,490 --> 00:27:50,270
and then you're at risk, too.
606
00:27:54,610 --> 00:27:56,270
You have to trust me.
607
00:27:56,930 --> 00:27:59,500
Your ex kept secrets to hurt you.
608
00:28:00,610 --> 00:28:02,640
I'm keeping them to protect you.
609
00:28:05,540 --> 00:28:06,800
Okay.
610
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:10,310
Really? That was easy.
611
00:28:10,690 --> 00:28:13,870
Well, while you were on your walkabout,
612
00:28:13,890 --> 00:28:15,650
I remembered something.
613
00:28:18,010 --> 00:28:20,280
Spousal privilege.
614
00:28:20,510 --> 00:28:21,450
Which is?
615
00:28:21,450 --> 00:28:23,350
It's a crazy law we have here.
616
00:28:23,350 --> 00:28:26,870
You don't have to testify
against your husband.
617
00:28:27,010 --> 00:28:28,580
So here's what's gonna happen.
618
00:28:28,580 --> 00:28:31,650
We say "I do," we walk back up the aisle,
619
00:28:31,650 --> 00:28:33,670
the second we're outside that church,
620
00:28:33,670 --> 00:28:35,580
you tell me everything.
621
00:28:35,770 --> 00:28:37,280
And if I don't?
622
00:28:37,300 --> 00:28:39,480
Well, then I guess you won't be seeing
623
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:42,460
those wedding night
moves I told you about.
624
00:28:43,150 --> 00:28:44,560
And trust me...
625
00:28:45,350 --> 00:28:48,240
my secret is way better than yours.
626
00:28:56,200 --> 00:28:57,990
Ahh, so you are alive.
627
00:28:57,990 --> 00:28:59,980
You're just not answering your phone.
628
00:28:59,980 --> 00:29:01,980
I'm sorry. I just...
629
00:29:02,180 --> 00:29:03,720
can't imagine what you must think of me
630
00:29:03,730 --> 00:29:05,530
after hearing all that.
631
00:29:10,820 --> 00:29:13,180
Bree, listen, I don't judge people.
632
00:29:13,180 --> 00:29:14,520
I defend them.
633
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:17,560
And if I'm gonna defend you,
I need to know everything.
634
00:29:18,740 --> 00:29:21,820
Sexual history from your first husband
635
00:29:21,820 --> 00:29:24,060
down to the last guy on
the D.A.'s witness list.
636
00:29:24,060 --> 00:29:26,150
How about I go in the kitchen and say it,
637
00:29:26,150 --> 00:29:28,660
and you just... listen from out here?
638
00:29:28,970 --> 00:29:31,570
No dice. I need you to say it to my face.
639
00:29:31,580 --> 00:29:32,720
Why?
640
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:35,440
Because you're gonna be sitting
at the defendant's table
641
00:29:35,440 --> 00:29:38,080
while one guy after
another takes the stand
642
00:29:38,080 --> 00:29:41,400
and goes into as much graphic detail
643
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:42,990
as the prosecutor wants him to,
644
00:29:42,990 --> 00:29:46,040
and the whole time the jury is
gonna be looking at your face.
645
00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:47,580
Oh, dear god.
646
00:29:47,580 --> 00:29:49,860
And if the look on your face is guilt,
647
00:29:50,420 --> 00:29:52,120
they're gonna think you're guilty.
648
00:29:53,530 --> 00:29:57,220
So I need you to own
this part of your life,
649
00:29:57,220 --> 00:30:00,210
and that starts with
you telling me everything.
650
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:05,880
Okay.
651
00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:08,610
I hoped it wouldn't come to this, but, uh,
652
00:30:08,610 --> 00:30:10,470
maybe it would be helpful if I told you
653
00:30:10,470 --> 00:30:12,210
my sexual secrets first.
654
00:30:12,210 --> 00:30:15,140
No, it most certainly
would not be helpful.
655
00:30:15,140 --> 00:30:17,290
Besides, men aren't embarrassed
656
00:30:17,290 --> 00:30:19,040
about their conquests.
657
00:30:19,040 --> 00:30:21,670
I am gonna start talking now.
658
00:30:22,170 --> 00:30:23,930
First time I had sex...
659
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:26,740
I was 24.
660
00:30:26,790 --> 00:30:28,210
I was in law school.
661
00:30:28,210 --> 00:30:31,540
She was a classmate and
rather experienced.
662
00:30:31,550 --> 00:30:32,870
It didn't go very well,
663
00:30:32,870 --> 00:30:35,300
or for that matter, last very long.
664
00:30:36,250 --> 00:30:38,870
Yeah, yeah, it's hilarious.
665
00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:40,910
In fact, every Christmas,
666
00:30:40,910 --> 00:30:41,940
I get a card from her
667
00:30:41,940 --> 00:30:43,530
that says, "Still laughing."
668
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:46,230
So you had an awkward first experience.
669
00:30:46,230 --> 00:30:47,470
Who didn't?
670
00:30:47,670 --> 00:30:50,740
You want worse? I-I can do worse.
671
00:30:52,700 --> 00:30:53,980
Okay.
672
00:30:54,150 --> 00:30:56,580
I don't know how to say this. Um...
673
00:30:57,710 --> 00:31:02,420
I am... quite oversized down there.
674
00:31:03,850 --> 00:31:06,260
Since when is a man being well endowed
675
00:31:06,260 --> 00:31:07,840
considered humiliating?
676
00:31:07,840 --> 00:31:09,660
I'm talking about my prostate...
677
00:31:09,660 --> 00:31:12,090
my enlarged prostate.
678
00:31:12,920 --> 00:31:14,890
Best part... your doctor tells you
679
00:31:14,890 --> 00:31:16,960
it only happens to older men.
680
00:31:17,410 --> 00:31:20,310
That's the reason you have
to pee 30 times a day.
681
00:31:20,510 --> 00:31:24,900
So now you know I'm pushing 50,
borderline incontinent,
682
00:31:24,900 --> 00:31:27,170
and women are scared of my junk.
683
00:31:28,550 --> 00:31:30,460
Is that humiliating enough for you?
684
00:31:30,460 --> 00:31:32,040
Yes, I think it is.
685
00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:33,630
Glad to hear it.
686
00:31:35,010 --> 00:31:38,580
I have to tell you now, don't I?
687
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:49,800
I was in a dark place...
688
00:31:51,130 --> 00:31:52,520
lonely...
689
00:31:53,470 --> 00:31:55,670
and in pain, I started...
690
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:59,110
drinking... again.
691
00:32:09,530 --> 00:32:11,720
So the kicker to the story is,
692
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:14,290
the new international plan
that Tom came up with is...
693
00:32:14,290 --> 00:32:15,590
is pretty awesome.
694
00:32:15,590 --> 00:32:17,000
He may not have good taste in women,
695
00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,750
but he is damn smart about finance.
696
00:32:19,750 --> 00:32:21,960
Tom is really smart...
697
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:23,730
in that one area.
698
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:26,490
Poor Jane.
699
00:32:27,030 --> 00:32:28,560
You're really enjoying this, aren't you?
700
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:30,610
A little, tiny bit.
701
00:32:30,610 --> 00:32:31,170
You should.
702
00:32:31,170 --> 00:32:32,580
I wish I had a way of getting back
703
00:32:32,580 --> 00:32:34,390
at Crystal when we were breaking up.
704
00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:35,930
Must feel good.
705
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:37,930
Jane was pretty pissed, huh?
706
00:32:37,930 --> 00:32:38,700
Oh, apparently.
707
00:32:38,700 --> 00:32:41,170
So even though that makes
me a terrible person,
708
00:32:41,170 --> 00:32:42,410
thank you for that.
709
00:32:42,410 --> 00:32:45,070
Anytime. I mean that.
710
00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:47,020
Anytime.
711
00:32:47,970 --> 00:32:49,190
So...
712
00:32:49,190 --> 00:32:52,040
if I asked you to have Tom
work a few nights this week,
713
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:52,720
you'd do it?
714
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:54,920
If I could help you piss off your ex
715
00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:58,410
and spend more time with you,
I see no downside in that.
716
00:32:58,410 --> 00:32:59,820
You just say the word.
717
00:32:59,850 --> 00:33:00,830
Really?
718
00:33:00,830 --> 00:33:02,120
Late nights, weekends.
719
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:04,820
Maybe even a few out-of-town trips?
720
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:07,040
You tell me what you want,
721
00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:08,950
I'll make it happen.
722
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:11,930
I like the sound of that.
723
00:33:11,930 --> 00:33:14,550
Must be why women fall for powerful men.
724
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:19,820
And then the prosecutor suggested
725
00:33:19,830 --> 00:33:23,440
I was probably so drunk,
that I forgot the whole thing.
726
00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:25,610
Well, hang on. Didn't your hotshot lawyer
727
00:33:25,610 --> 00:33:27,350
get all up in her face
with the "Objections"
728
00:33:27,350 --> 00:33:28,230
and the "Sidebars"
729
00:33:28,230 --> 00:33:29,880
and the "You can't handle the truth!"?
730
00:33:29,880 --> 00:33:30,890
Trip was amazing,
731
00:33:30,890 --> 00:33:32,760
but she still said it was admissible.
732
00:33:32,760 --> 00:33:35,750
My entire sordid past is admissible.
733
00:33:35,750 --> 00:33:37,580
So just because you slept with a few guys
734
00:33:37,580 --> 00:33:39,280
means you slept with Alejandro?
735
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:40,800
More than a few.
736
00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:43,560
Sorry. Carry on.
737
00:33:45,180 --> 00:33:47,090
You know what the worst thing was?
738
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:50,860
The look on Trip's face.
He was so disappointed in me.
739
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:53,520
Wait. That was the worst thing?
740
00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:58,450
Worse than the whole
sharing-a-cell-for-20-years-
with-a-big-gal-named-Vern thing?
741
00:33:58,450 --> 00:33:59,950
Well, I'm not going to prison.
742
00:33:59,950 --> 00:34:01,120
I mean, Trip says we're gonna win,
743
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:02,610
and I believe in him.
744
00:34:02,610 --> 00:34:04,550
I just thank god that
even after all of this,
745
00:34:04,550 --> 00:34:06,290
he still believes in me.
746
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:11,870
Okay, I'm gonna say it.
747
00:34:12,230 --> 00:34:14,490
Bree, you have a crush on your lawyer.
748
00:34:14,810 --> 00:34:16,240
Don't be ridiculous.
749
00:34:16,240 --> 00:34:19,040
You do sound a teensy bit smitten.
750
00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:23,560
I am not smitten. I-I happen to
admire his legal skills, and...
751
00:34:23,560 --> 00:34:24,950
His dreamy blue eyes?
752
00:34:24,950 --> 00:34:28,110
They're not blue. They're green,
flecked with hints of brown.
753
00:34:33,590 --> 00:34:35,380
Okay, maybe I find him attractive,
754
00:34:35,380 --> 00:34:37,590
but do you really think
I would put myself at risk
755
00:34:37,590 --> 00:34:38,850
by dating my own attorney?
756
00:34:38,850 --> 00:34:39,440
Oh, I don't know.
757
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:41,730
You put us all at risk
when you dated Chuck.
758
00:34:42,520 --> 00:34:46,070
Look, having a crush is
nothing to be ashamed of.
759
00:34:46,470 --> 00:34:49,450
He's rescuing you, and it's in our D.N.A.
760
00:34:49,450 --> 00:34:51,620
to fall for guys who rescue us.
761
00:34:51,630 --> 00:34:55,370
But in this case, it's just
not safe for you to act on it.
762
00:34:55,630 --> 00:34:57,350
I guess you're right.
763
00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:59,260
You're on trial for murder, Bree.
764
00:34:59,260 --> 00:35:01,100
You got to keep a clear head.
765
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:02,960
And so does he.
766
00:35:05,700 --> 00:35:08,060
Doris, I just want you
to know how grateful we are.
767
00:35:08,060 --> 00:35:10,640
Your donation is gonna help
so many recovering addicts
768
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:12,110
get back on their feet.
769
00:35:12,270 --> 00:35:14,920
Oh, stop. I should be thanking you
770
00:35:14,920 --> 00:35:16,680
for letting me be a part of all this.
771
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:19,040
And please forgive
the appearance of my office.
772
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:22,140
Every penny that we get goes
directly to those in need,
773
00:35:22,140 --> 00:35:24,860
so there's not a lot left over for...
774
00:35:25,980 --> 00:35:28,640
nice... things.
775
00:35:31,830 --> 00:35:34,200
Those in need, huh?
776
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:36,100
This is not my stuff!
777
00:35:36,100 --> 00:35:39,160
I had a simple wooden desk,
an old coffee table.
778
00:35:39,170 --> 00:35:40,740
Oh.
779
00:35:41,210 --> 00:35:43,550
And a baby grand.
780
00:35:43,630 --> 00:35:45,010
Well, that must come in handy
781
00:35:45,010 --> 00:35:47,180
while you're all singing "Kumbaya"
782
00:35:47,180 --> 00:35:49,680
during your clean needle exchange.
783
00:35:49,680 --> 00:35:51,770
Doris, please.
784
00:35:51,770 --> 00:35:53,120
This is not what we're about here.
785
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:56,330
Find yourself another old lady to fleece.
786
00:36:03,110 --> 00:36:05,750
Honey, I need to show you
something in the garage.
787
00:36:05,750 --> 00:36:07,240
Did you fix the car?
788
00:36:07,240 --> 00:36:10,890
No. Juanita used the wood to
build a coffin for the squirrel,
789
00:36:10,890 --> 00:36:12,710
but I do have a little surprise for you.
790
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:22,000
Oh, hey, perfect timing, M.J.
791
00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,050
we could really use another pair of hands.
792
00:36:24,610 --> 00:36:26,160
What are they doing here?
793
00:36:26,160 --> 00:36:28,590
Well, I know I told you
that I could do this myself,
794
00:36:28,590 --> 00:36:31,620
but I got to thinking
that every race car driver
795
00:36:31,620 --> 00:36:34,310
has a pit crew, and this is yours.
796
00:36:34,310 --> 00:36:35,750
We're here to help you.
797
00:36:35,930 --> 00:36:38,130
And not just about car stuff, you know?
798
00:36:38,130 --> 00:36:40,570
Anytime you need something,
give us a call.
799
00:36:41,980 --> 00:36:43,620
- So what do you think of this design?
- Hey?
800
00:36:43,620 --> 00:36:46,130
It... kind of looks like a Corvette.
801
00:36:46,130 --> 00:36:48,400
Kind of? It's an exact rendering.
802
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:50,150
Look at the shading on the wheel well.
803
00:36:50,150 --> 00:36:52,640
Calm down. You traced
it out of a magazine.
804
00:36:53,220 --> 00:36:54,700
Can you guys really build this?
805
00:36:54,700 --> 00:36:57,630
Um, well... not without your help.
806
00:36:59,830 --> 00:37:01,160
So what do you think about color?
807
00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:03,290
Red or blue?
808
00:37:03,290 --> 00:37:05,340
Mom? What do you think?
809
00:37:05,590 --> 00:37:09,630
I think, uh... this is
kind of a guy thing,
810
00:37:09,880 --> 00:37:12,570
and I should let you guys get to work.
811
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:14,560
My dad loved Corvettes.
812
00:37:14,570 --> 00:37:15,750
We know.
813
00:37:15,930 --> 00:37:17,340
He always said if he ever won the lottery,
814
00:37:17,340 --> 00:37:21,510
first thing he'd do is buy a
Corvette stingray convertible.
815
00:37:31,580 --> 00:37:32,580
Come on in.
816
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:36,540
- Whoa. You look like a million bucks.
- Aw.
817
00:37:36,540 --> 00:37:38,700
And trust me, I know what
a million bucks looks like.
818
00:37:38,700 --> 00:37:40,470
What a lovely compliment...
819
00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:42,180
for one of us.
820
00:37:42,180 --> 00:37:45,610
So, uh, Gallo is
the best restaurant in town,
821
00:37:45,610 --> 00:37:47,690
and after tonight, you will know why.
822
00:37:47,750 --> 00:37:49,980
Well, can't wait.
823
00:37:51,870 --> 00:37:53,260
Let's go.
824
00:37:53,290 --> 00:37:56,490
But first... I have a gift for you.
825
00:38:00,030 --> 00:38:01,410
A nail.
826
00:38:01,470 --> 00:38:02,720
How thoughtful...
827
00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:04,430
and... imaginary.
828
00:38:04,430 --> 00:38:07,830
A nail in the coffin of Tom's happiness.
829
00:38:07,830 --> 00:38:10,410
The end of Tom and Jane.
830
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:11,870
Completely baffled.
831
00:38:11,870 --> 00:38:13,800
Every time this week
I told him I needed him late,
832
00:38:13,800 --> 00:38:14,970
Tom would go in his office,
833
00:38:14,970 --> 00:38:18,210
and I'd hear him on the phone
in a big fight with Jane.
834
00:38:18,860 --> 00:38:21,530
You shouldn't be telling me this.
835
00:38:22,440 --> 00:38:24,130
But... yay!
836
00:38:24,330 --> 00:38:26,580
So how do you think
the persnickety Ms. Carlson
837
00:38:26,580 --> 00:38:29,030
will handle the news of Tom's transfer?
838
00:38:29,500 --> 00:38:30,560
His what?
839
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:32,970
The international plan needs a point man,
840
00:38:32,970 --> 00:38:37,130
so I'm sending Tom to Mumbai for a year.
841
00:38:38,820 --> 00:38:42,300
M-Mumbai like... India Mumbai?
842
00:38:43,100 --> 00:38:46,260
Which means you and I will have Fairview
843
00:38:46,260 --> 00:38:47,830
all to ourselves.
844
00:38:48,700 --> 00:38:50,110
We got to go.
845
00:38:53,320 --> 00:38:54,660
Lynette?
846
00:38:55,370 --> 00:38:56,780
- Car.
- Huh?
847
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,100
I can't believe you did that to my office.
848
00:39:04,100 --> 00:39:05,120
I had a butler lined up,
849
00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:07,390
but he booked a commercial
at the last minute.
850
00:39:08,150 --> 00:39:10,520
So I guess I'll call Doris
now and make an appointment
851
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:11,990
for shopping tomorrow.
852
00:39:11,990 --> 00:39:14,040
Yeah, I don't think she'll be
answering either of our calls.
853
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:16,670
She thinks we're both nuts,
so thanks a lot, Gaby.
854
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:18,750
You started it. You're
the one who stole her from me
855
00:39:18,750 --> 00:39:19,730
in the first place.
856
00:39:19,730 --> 00:39:21,640
Yeah, for something that matters.
857
00:39:21,640 --> 00:39:24,090
Oh, enough with
the Carlos of Nazareth act.
858
00:39:24,100 --> 00:39:25,340
This wasn't about helping people.
859
00:39:25,340 --> 00:39:26,990
This was about you smelling money
860
00:39:26,990 --> 00:39:28,590
and going after it.
861
00:39:28,680 --> 00:39:32,050
The money was for the center.
Those people need it.
862
00:39:32,050 --> 00:39:35,080
The center? Please.
You were doing it to win.
863
00:39:35,080 --> 00:39:36,220
And you know why?
864
00:39:36,220 --> 00:39:38,320
'Cause you're a shark, Carlos.
865
00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:41,320
You always have been,
and you always will be.
866
00:39:41,320 --> 00:39:42,900
It's your nature.
867
00:39:48,720 --> 00:39:50,060
Honey.
868
00:39:50,460 --> 00:39:52,650
It's okay. I am, too.
869
00:39:52,650 --> 00:39:54,430
That's why we're good together.
870
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,890
Look, I may not like that
you stole Doris from me,
871
00:39:59,020 --> 00:40:02,240
but I do like that you're
the type of guy who can.
872
00:40:02,380 --> 00:40:03,770
It's sexy.
873
00:40:04,430 --> 00:40:05,570
But...
874
00:40:05,690 --> 00:40:08,260
that's not who I want to be anymore.
875
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:10,060
Well, who do you want to be?
876
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:14,040
Somebody different.
877
00:40:14,910 --> 00:40:16,640
Well, I hate to tell you this, babe,
878
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:17,560
but the best you can hope to be
879
00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:19,490
is just a different kind of shark.
880
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:28,890
Yes, it isn't easy giving up power...
881
00:40:30,930 --> 00:40:33,630
admitting that we might need help
882
00:40:34,020 --> 00:40:36,510
from friends and neighbors...
883
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:40,460
Deciding that a loved one...
884
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:44,420
might know what's best for us.
885
00:40:45,870 --> 00:40:48,670
Giving up our better judgment
886
00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:52,240
for a slightly darker agenda.
887
00:40:54,100 --> 00:40:55,590
But for some,
888
00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:59,390
the hardest kind of power to give up...
889
00:41:00,340 --> 00:41:04,980
is the power to control their own desires.
890
00:41:05,580 --> 00:41:08,600
Hello. You wanted to see me?
891
00:41:09,340 --> 00:41:11,880
Did you, uh, have some
new thoughts on the case?
892
00:41:12,010 --> 00:41:14,950
Lots, but why don't
we discuss them over dinner?
893
00:41:15,250 --> 00:41:18,120
Dinner. Um, can't we talk here?
894
00:41:18,300 --> 00:41:19,440
No, I've been cooped up all day,
895
00:41:19,450 --> 00:41:21,820
and I know this great,
little Italian place.
896
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:23,370
I don't think that's a good idea.
897
00:41:23,370 --> 00:41:25,550
Oh, come on. I'm a much better lawyer
898
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:27,790
after a plate of spaghetti carbonara.
899
00:41:28,340 --> 00:41:31,650
So? What do you say?
900
00:41:32,630 --> 00:41:34,080
I say...
901
00:41:37,190 --> 00:41:38,600
let's do it.
902
00:41:39,319 --> 00:41:42,182
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