1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,728 Desperate Housewives S01E19 Live Alone And Like It (VO+STFR&EN) 2 00:00:03,203 --> 00:00:05,296 - Grandma's here. - In life... 3 00:00:05,372 --> 00:00:08,000 - A post-nuptial agreement. - I'm not signing this. 4 00:00:09,442 --> 00:00:12,673 - Sign it! - Stop! You're hurting me! 5 00:00:12,746 --> 00:00:14,509 Mrs. Solis. What are you doing? 6 00:00:14,581 --> 00:00:16,845 ...you can't change what's ben done... 7 00:00:16,916 --> 00:00:20,215 People leave trails. One of those will lead to Deidre. 8 00:00:20,286 --> 00:00:23,813 I'm not taking my money to the grave. I'm gonna use it to save your ass. 9 00:00:23,890 --> 00:00:26,324 ...or who people really are. 10 00:00:26,393 --> 00:00:29,920 Andrew just told me he thinks he might be gay. 11 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:38,198 Every morning, as she went to take out her trash, 12 00:00:38,271 --> 00:00:42,207 Lynette Scavo would indulge in a little daydream, 13 00:00:42,275 --> 00:00:46,803 the details of which were always the same. 14 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,509 One day, her nasty neighbor Karen McCluskey 15 00:00:50,583 --> 00:00:53,848 would kel over and die. 16 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:58,721 And her home would be bought by a lovely Swedish family 17 00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:02,023 with two adorable twin daughters. 18 00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:05,929 The families would form an everlasting friendship, 19 00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:09,662 culminating in their daughters marrying her sons 20 00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,829 at an elaborate wedding 21 00:01:11,905 --> 00:01:15,306 the Scavos wouldn't have to pay for. 22 00:01:18,044 --> 00:01:21,775 Yes, Lynette enjoyed her little daydream. 23 00:01:21,848 --> 00:01:25,079 But Mrs. McCluskey always had a way 24 00:01:25,151 --> 00:01:28,177 of pulling her back to reality. 25 00:01:28,254 --> 00:01:29,482 Hey, hey, hey! 26 00:01:29,556 --> 00:01:33,390 Hey! Why are you stealing my garbage cans? 27 00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:36,861 Garbage pick-up was two days ago, they've been here ever since. 28 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:40,229 - I assumed you didn't want them. - Oh, that's very cute. 29 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:43,394 That's great. Here, give 'em here. 30 00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:46,268 Bad enough that God-awful color you painted the house. 31 00:01:46,339 --> 00:01:49,103 We shouldn't have to stare at your cans for days on end. 32 00:01:49,175 --> 00:01:50,802 Good neighbor etiquette? 33 00:01:50,877 --> 00:01:54,643 How about you hire a gardener to take care of that jungle you call a lawn? 34 00:01:54,714 --> 00:01:56,909 - I am on a fixed income. - Oh? 35 00:01:56,983 --> 00:01:59,918 Perhaps you should consider somewhere less expensive. 36 00:01:59,986 --> 00:02:01,954 - Like a nursing home. - Go to hell. 37 00:02:02,021 --> 00:02:04,353 Run by Germans, hm? 38 00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:08,384 And, you know... 39 00:02:10,530 --> 00:02:12,657 Mrs... Mrs. McCluskey...! 40 00:02:12,732 --> 00:02:14,962 Mrs. McCluskey, are you all right? 41 00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:18,797 I'll get the door. 42 00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:22,666 Mrs. McCluskey...! 43 00:02:22,742 --> 00:02:24,175 For a brief moment, 44 00:02:24,244 --> 00:02:27,907 Lynette was presented with an interesting choice of options. 45 00:02:30,717 --> 00:02:33,515 And though she knew she'd hate herself in the morning, 46 00:02:33,586 --> 00:02:36,646 Lynette chose to do the right thing. 47 00:02:36,723 --> 00:02:38,588 Lynette, where are they taking me? 48 00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:42,025 You're going to the hospital, you're gonna be fine. 49 00:02:42,095 --> 00:02:45,496 - I don't wanna go alone. Come with me. - Oh, um... 50 00:02:45,565 --> 00:02:50,867 These are trained technicians and I've got a roast in the... freezer. 51 00:02:50,937 --> 00:02:53,497 Please. I'm scared. 52 00:02:56,609 --> 00:02:58,975 Yeah, I'll come with you. OK, here I am. 53 00:02:59,045 --> 00:03:00,740 Thank you. 54 00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:05,141 If I die, I don't want it to be with strangers. 55 00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:09,552 - You're not going to die. - How can you be so sure? 56 00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:14,048 Of course, Lynette didn't respond. 57 00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:17,585 How could she tell her neighbor that some dreams 58 00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:22,192 are just too beautiful to come true? 59 00:04:08,047 --> 00:04:10,914 Life is a journey. 60 00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:16,081 One that is much better traveled with a companion by our side. 61 00:04:16,155 --> 00:04:20,387 But sometimes, we lose our companions along the way. 62 00:04:20,460 --> 00:04:24,055 And then the journey becomes unbearable. 63 00:04:25,131 --> 00:04:26,564 Noah. 64 00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:31,463 I didn't know you were a religious man. What's with the rosary? 65 00:04:33,306 --> 00:04:34,637 They found Deidre. 66 00:04:34,707 --> 00:04:36,072 What? 67 00:04:38,311 --> 00:04:41,075 Her body had been stuffed inside a toy chest. 68 00:04:41,147 --> 00:04:44,412 Can you believe that? 69 00:04:44,484 --> 00:04:47,248 A kid's toy chest. 70 00:04:51,691 --> 00:04:54,683 She'd been dismembered. 71 00:05:00,566 --> 00:05:02,295 My God. 72 00:05:04,637 --> 00:05:07,936 Cops ID'd her from her dental records. 73 00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:13,579 She's been dead 15 years. 74 00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:18,178 All that time I was looking for her. 75 00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:20,913 She was already gone. 76 00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:25,015 I'm so sorry. 77 00:05:26,893 --> 00:05:30,158 I have to bury my baby. 78 00:05:30,229 --> 00:05:32,993 I came out here to... 79 00:05:33,066 --> 00:05:36,229 ...figure out what kind of tombstone to get her. 80 00:05:37,537 --> 00:05:39,437 You shouldn't be doing this now. 81 00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:41,632 Let's get you home. 82 00:05:42,942 --> 00:05:46,139 - There's a cop I want you to talk to. - A cop? 83 00:05:46,212 --> 00:05:48,043 His name is Sullivan. 84 00:05:48,114 --> 00:05:51,777 I paid him to take the heat off you for your neighbor's murder. 85 00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:54,513 He'll get you the file on Deidre's case. 86 00:05:55,488 --> 00:05:57,786 Apparently they have some leads. 87 00:06:05,565 --> 00:06:08,534 I don't know. I think we may be making a huge mistake. 88 00:06:08,601 --> 00:06:10,967 We made our decision, let's stick to it. 89 00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:13,369 Let's say we leave him here three more weeks. 90 00:06:13,439 --> 00:06:15,999 What's the worst that could happen? 91 00:06:16,075 --> 00:06:19,135 Our son just told us that he might be gay. 92 00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:22,648 There are 200 other boys in this camp. 93 00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:26,742 I could explain to you what might happen if we left him here. 94 00:06:26,819 --> 00:06:29,549 But I am a lady and I don't use that kind of language. 95 00:06:35,094 --> 00:06:38,655 I bet we're worrying over nothing. This is probably just a phase. 96 00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:43,191 We'll get him into Christian counseling so it won't become a lifestyle. 97 00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:47,228 Whatever's going on with him, he's still our son and we love him. 98 00:06:47,306 --> 00:06:48,739 Why would you say that to me? 99 00:06:48,808 --> 00:06:53,108 It's obvious how freaked out you are by the whole gay thing. 100 00:06:53,179 --> 00:06:56,273 I'm freaked out but that doesn't change how I feel about him. 101 00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:58,544 I'm just saying, be cool. 102 00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:06,519 - I can be just as cool as you can. - All right. 103 00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:19,803 It'll be nice to have you back. 104 00:07:19,872 --> 00:07:21,931 Andrew... 105 00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:25,500 I would love you even if you were a murderer. 106 00:07:36,255 --> 00:07:38,382 Mommy, the line's not moving. 107 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,653 Oh, for Pete's sake. 108 00:07:47,166 --> 00:07:48,633 Mom. 109 00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:50,168 Mom. The kids are waiting. 110 00:07:50,236 --> 00:07:54,730 Oh, honey, Hector here teaches salsa at the community center. 111 00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:58,937 - I give private lessons too. - I bet you do! 112 00:07:59,011 --> 00:08:02,276 Mom, would you please not flirt with the ice cream man? 113 00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:03,337 Why not? 114 00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:07,079 Do you need a reason beyond the fact that he's the ice cream man? 115 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:10,054 It's called moving on with your life. 116 00:08:10,122 --> 00:08:12,488 You broke up with Morty two weeks ago. 117 00:08:12,558 --> 00:08:15,026 At least pretend to mourn the relationship. 118 00:08:15,094 --> 00:08:17,324 You are such a stick-in-the-mud. 119 00:08:17,396 --> 00:08:19,864 We should be out there having fun. 120 00:08:19,932 --> 00:08:22,025 I know what we can do tonight. 121 00:08:22,101 --> 00:08:25,832 We can go to some hip club and get some hot guys! 122 00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:28,032 - Mom... - It'll be great! 123 00:08:28,107 --> 00:08:32,407 I'll say I'm 42 and you can be 28. 124 00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:34,070 What?! 125 00:08:34,146 --> 00:08:36,239 Oh! You can pull it off! 126 00:08:42,321 --> 00:08:45,051 Mrs. McCluskey, you're back from hospital already? 127 00:08:45,124 --> 00:08:48,116 Turns out I OD'd on my arthritis medication. 128 00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:52,255 One pill, I can open a jar. Four pills, I'm face down, crawling for my life. 129 00:08:52,331 --> 00:08:54,458 You'll find out about that soon enough. 130 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:58,630 Well, I'm glad to hear you're all right. 131 00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:03,004 Here, my way of saying thank you for not letting me die out there on the lawn. 132 00:09:03,075 --> 00:09:05,669 - Oh, Mrs. McCluskey, you don't... - Keep that. 133 00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:08,407 It's genuine Tiffany. Been in my family for years. 134 00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:13,418 L-I don't know what to say. It's stunning, thank you. 135 00:09:27,533 --> 00:09:30,661 - I'd invite you in... - I wanna tell you what my doctor said. 136 00:09:30,736 --> 00:09:33,000 Arthritis is the least of my problems. 137 00:09:33,072 --> 00:09:35,973 See, I had this skin tag, or what I thought was a skin tag, 138 00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:37,839 but it might be more serious... 139 00:09:43,182 --> 00:09:44,774 What do you think you're doing? 140 00:09:44,850 --> 00:09:48,047 Please, I can't sleep in the den any more. I need to sleep in a bed. 141 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:51,886 You might wanna try a motel, 'cause you're not coming back in here. 142 00:09:52,925 --> 00:09:55,917 How many times have I got to say I'm sorry? 143 00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:58,793 Obviously a few more. 144 00:09:59,832 --> 00:10:02,392 I'm not proud of what I did. 145 00:10:02,468 --> 00:10:04,368 I admit I was way out of line. 146 00:10:05,438 --> 00:10:08,771 You want back in this bed? You know what to do. 147 00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:13,308 - I'm not tearing up the post-nup. - Why not?! 148 00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:17,338 Because it's the one way I can ensure you'll be here when I get out of jail. 149 00:10:17,416 --> 00:10:20,544 Well, then, have fun at the motel. 150 00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:23,783 Fine. Tomorrow I'm canceling your credit cards. 151 00:10:23,856 --> 00:10:25,289 What? 152 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:27,826 And I'm taking away your ATM as well. 153 00:10:27,893 --> 00:10:29,758 What am I supposed to do for money? 154 00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:33,492 Once you see how good you've got it, you'll treat me with respect. 155 00:10:33,566 --> 00:10:36,558 You want my respect? Tear up the post-nup. 156 00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,467 Give me my pillow. 157 00:10:40,272 --> 00:10:41,261 One more thing. 158 00:10:41,340 --> 00:10:44,400 If you ever hurt me again, I will kill you. 159 00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:47,503 If you ever leave me for another man, I'll kill you. 160 00:10:51,951 --> 00:10:55,887 Boy, with all this passion, isn't it a shame we're not having sex? 161 00:11:09,301 --> 00:11:10,996 I feel trapped. 162 00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:14,836 - Want me to open a window? - No, I'm talking about my life. 163 00:11:14,907 --> 00:11:16,306 Oh. 164 00:11:16,876 --> 00:11:18,810 Are we done making out? 165 00:11:18,878 --> 00:11:21,142 No, no, keep going. 166 00:11:22,281 --> 00:11:23,771 So what's up? 167 00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:28,013 I'm unhappy. With Carlos and my marriage... 168 00:11:28,087 --> 00:11:30,988 I feel like I don't have options, it's driving me crazy. 169 00:11:31,057 --> 00:11:34,356 Every time something went south in my life, I always had a plan B. 170 00:11:34,427 --> 00:11:37,157 - Now, I feel like I have nothing. - What about me? 171 00:11:37,229 --> 00:11:40,494 - Can't I be your plan B? - Damn it, John. What is our new rule? 172 00:11:40,566 --> 00:11:43,626 Stop pretending we have a future. 173 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:46,763 - Thank you. - Can't you just walk out? 174 00:11:46,839 --> 00:11:50,275 No. If I leave, I'll be broke and that's awful. 175 00:11:50,342 --> 00:11:53,004 If I stay, he's in control and that's horrifying. 176 00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:54,876 And he cut up all my credit cards, 177 00:11:54,947 --> 00:11:57,939 which means I'm married to him and unable to shop. 178 00:11:58,017 --> 00:12:01,077 Which is probably the worst of all possible worlds. 179 00:12:01,153 --> 00:12:04,486 - I'm sorry. - I'll figure something out. 180 00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:09,285 I'm not much fun today. I'm gonna go. 181 00:12:12,064 --> 00:12:13,395 Wait. 182 00:12:16,635 --> 00:12:19,103 - What's this? - You deserve nice things. 183 00:12:19,171 --> 00:12:22,140 And if Mr. Solis won't provide them, I will. 184 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,974 - With your student credit card? - I own my own business. 185 00:12:27,046 --> 00:12:29,037 - You mow lawns. - I make good money. 186 00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:32,551 I've 20 houses and I'm this close to getting the country club. 187 00:12:32,618 --> 00:12:34,984 - I can't. - Yes, you can. 188 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,558 I'll pay it off. 189 00:12:43,629 --> 00:12:47,121 If you want. But you don't have to. 190 00:12:47,199 --> 00:12:50,100 Mrs. Solis... To take care of you... 191 00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:53,464 ...it's my dream. 192 00:12:53,539 --> 00:12:59,307 Well, far be it from me to stand in the way of a young man's dream. 193 00:13:00,212 --> 00:13:04,546 OK, Tom, I will swing by the dry-cleaners' after I hit the market. 194 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:08,109 I don't know. Porter has a dentist appointment at 4 pm. 195 00:13:08,187 --> 00:13:11,714 So the car might have to wait until tomorrow. 196 00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:14,259 OK, yeah, I love you too. 197 00:13:14,326 --> 00:13:15,987 - Bye-bye. - Hi, there. 198 00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:19,155 I brought you some avocados. I've a tree but I hate 'em. 199 00:13:19,231 --> 00:13:22,359 Your family seems like the kind that would eat guacamole. 200 00:13:22,434 --> 00:13:25,892 Oh, Mrs. McCluskey, thank you. That is very nice. 201 00:13:25,971 --> 00:13:29,668 - So let's make up a batch. - Oh, um... Now's not a good time. 202 00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:32,233 I'm on my way out, I have a ton of errands. 203 00:13:32,311 --> 00:13:35,872 That's great, my car's on the fritz and I could hitch a ride. 204 00:13:35,948 --> 00:13:38,678 - I need to drop by the pharmacy. - No, I can't. 205 00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:41,311 I'm sorry, but I have a lot of things to do. 206 00:13:41,387 --> 00:13:43,514 You could take me later or tomorrow. 207 00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:46,422 Mrs. McCluskey, I'm not gonna have any time tomorrow. 208 00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:48,016 Oh. 209 00:13:48,093 --> 00:13:50,561 Interesting you can't spend two minutes with me 210 00:13:50,629 --> 00:13:53,962 but you have no trouble taking my Tiffany lamp. 211 00:13:54,033 --> 00:13:57,161 Oh, for God's sakes! 212 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:02,205 Here. You should take this back. I... 213 00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:04,767 I don't have a place for it. 214 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,108 That was my thank you for saving my life. 215 00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:11,377 I know, and it was a beautiful gesture, really. 216 00:14:11,450 --> 00:14:14,578 - But I just... - Save it, Lynette. 217 00:14:14,653 --> 00:14:16,484 I get the picture. 218 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,134 - Aah! - Oh! 219 00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:33,797 - Oh, God! - Susie, this is Tim. 220 00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:36,365 Sorry if we startled you. 221 00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:40,435 Oh, uh... That's OK, I... 222 00:14:40,512 --> 00:14:43,640 I just didn't expect to see anybody up at a quarter to one. 223 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:47,083 Oh, Susie, you should have come out tonight. 224 00:14:47,152 --> 00:14:49,245 I met Tim here at the Islands bar 225 00:14:49,321 --> 00:14:52,779 and he introduced me to this crazy drink. 226 00:14:52,858 --> 00:14:54,416 The Dirty Volcano! 227 00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:56,188 It's... Whoo! 228 00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:58,093 Then we danced... 229 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,422 He dipped me. 230 00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:03,229 Sophie's very... limber. 231 00:15:03,302 --> 00:15:07,363 Uh, Mom, could I just talk to you in the family room for a minute? 232 00:15:07,439 --> 00:15:10,738 - Oh, sure. - Susan is your daughter? 233 00:15:12,177 --> 00:15:14,407 - Yup. - No, she can't be! 234 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,504 - Yes! - No! 235 00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:16,843 - Yeah! - No! 236 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,406 - Yeah! - No! 237 00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:20,577 - Yes... - OK, we get it. 238 00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:22,382 She looks young. 239 00:15:25,357 --> 00:15:28,326 Oh, that man has magic fingers. 240 00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:30,954 What are you doing?! I have a daughter. 241 00:15:31,030 --> 00:15:34,522 You can't bring men you meet in bars here in the middle of the night! 242 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,728 We're just having a few laughs. What's the big deal? 243 00:15:37,803 --> 00:15:41,170 You're trying to get over Morty but this is not the way to do it. 244 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,208 Go out there and tell him to go home. 245 00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:47,644 You know how blue I've been. Why can't you be supportive? 246 00:15:47,713 --> 00:15:51,114 - I've been plenty supportive. - You haven't. You really haven't. 247 00:15:51,183 --> 00:15:55,119 Tim is my guest and he will go home when I say so. 248 00:15:58,057 --> 00:16:00,389 If he's not gone in five minutes, 249 00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:03,485 I'm gonna go out there and tell him how old you really are. 250 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:17,404 Tim, it's time for me to go sleepy-bye. 251 00:16:25,084 --> 00:16:26,779 Delfino. 252 00:16:28,787 --> 00:16:29,947 Yeah. 253 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,154 You must be Sullivan. 254 00:16:34,526 --> 00:16:37,518 The file on Noah's daughter. 255 00:16:37,596 --> 00:16:40,087 Yeah, he said you had some leads. 256 00:16:40,165 --> 00:16:43,100 Yeah, sure, we got some leads. 257 00:16:44,203 --> 00:16:47,172 - Is there a problem? - Gee, I don't know. 258 00:16:47,239 --> 00:16:52,040 I'm handing a confidential police report over to a killer and drug-dealer. 259 00:16:52,111 --> 00:16:54,579 Why should that be a problem? 260 00:16:58,250 --> 00:16:59,808 Thanks. 261 00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:02,781 Is this what our justice system has come to? 262 00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:07,155 Guys like you walking the streets without a care in the world? 263 00:17:07,226 --> 00:17:10,992 - I did my time. - Not enough, you piece of garbage. 264 00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:18,102 I'm glad we had the chance to meet. 265 00:17:19,171 --> 00:17:22,800 Because apparently I'm no longer a murder suspect, thanks to you. 266 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,070 I don't want to seem ungrateful, 267 00:17:25,144 --> 00:17:27,271 but just out of curiosity, 268 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:32,307 how much does it cost to buy off a homicide detective these days? 269 00:17:36,355 --> 00:17:38,346 Thanks again. 270 00:17:39,591 --> 00:17:42,185 Hey, Delfino. One more thing. 271 00:17:59,812 --> 00:18:03,578 Now this file was misplaced... 272 00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:05,708 ...understand? 273 00:18:05,784 --> 00:18:09,880 If even a whisper of this gets traced back to me, 274 00:18:09,955 --> 00:18:13,550 there will be one less cop-killer on the street. 275 00:18:19,598 --> 00:18:23,898 And for God's sakes, don't get any blood on the file. 276 00:18:45,157 --> 00:18:49,116 Ma'am, I'm sorry, but your credit card has been declined. 277 00:18:49,194 --> 00:18:50,957 What? 278 00:18:51,029 --> 00:18:54,055 Oh, no, that's impossible. It's a new card. 279 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:56,897 I just went shopping with it. Try it again. 280 00:18:56,969 --> 00:19:00,461 Ma'am, I ran it three times and then I called the bank. 281 00:19:00,539 --> 00:19:03,269 May I try another card? 282 00:19:03,342 --> 00:19:06,243 Of course you may. Will you just give me a moment? 283 00:19:14,786 --> 00:19:16,413 - Hello? - It's me. 284 00:19:16,488 --> 00:19:18,649 I tried to call. You turned your cell off. 285 00:19:18,724 --> 00:19:22,524 I'm in a lovely restaurant having a lovely meal that I can't pay for. 286 00:19:22,594 --> 00:19:25,290 - Did you order already? - I ate already. 287 00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:27,559 The credit card company called my mom. 288 00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:30,158 They said there was unusual activity on my card. 289 00:19:30,235 --> 00:19:32,328 - I bought shoes! - I didn't know that. 290 00:19:32,404 --> 00:19:34,702 My mom started asking all these questions 291 00:19:34,773 --> 00:19:37,469 so I blurted out it was stolen and she canceled it. 292 00:19:37,543 --> 00:19:39,773 Why call your parents? It's your account. 293 00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:42,541 They co-sign for it. 294 00:19:42,614 --> 00:19:45,981 - If you explain to the waiter... - What?! 295 00:19:46,051 --> 00:19:48,451 My card was canceled by my lover's mommy? 296 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:52,388 What other options do you have? Return the shoes and get the money back? 297 00:19:52,457 --> 00:19:54,823 Return the shoes?! 298 00:19:54,893 --> 00:19:57,453 I can't talk to you when you're being hysterical. 299 00:19:59,498 --> 00:20:02,865 So, Ma'am, what would you like to do about the bill? 300 00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:19,776 Afternoon, I've got a package for your neighbor, Karen McCluskey. 301 00:20:19,851 --> 00:20:22,615 - Mind signing? - Isn't she home? 302 00:20:22,688 --> 00:20:24,417 No one answered. 303 00:20:24,489 --> 00:20:26,719 All right. 304 00:20:29,995 --> 00:20:31,121 OK. 305 00:20:31,196 --> 00:20:32,561 Thank you. 306 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,736 So let me get this straight. 307 00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:47,802 You play tennis, you know wine, 308 00:20:47,879 --> 00:20:49,642 and you speak Mandarin. 309 00:20:49,715 --> 00:20:52,707 Does every other man in the world want you dead? 310 00:20:52,784 --> 00:20:55,344 I'm not that impressive. 311 00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:57,911 I pulled a gray hair out of my chest this morning. 312 00:20:57,990 --> 00:21:00,891 I don't know, I'd watch your back. 313 00:21:03,061 --> 00:21:05,529 You know, I've really enjoyed talking to you. 314 00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:07,531 You, uh... 315 00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:10,263 Well, you've made my day. 316 00:21:10,335 --> 00:21:13,827 I was thinking, if you'd like to get together again... 317 00:21:15,607 --> 00:21:19,976 Well, Sam, to tell you the truth, I'm kind of in a relationship right now. 318 00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:24,106 - I just wanted to be honest. - That's perfectly OK, Tina. 319 00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:28,953 By the way, this is on me. 320 00:21:29,021 --> 00:21:31,649 - Oh, no, you shouldn't. - Oh, please. 321 00:21:31,723 --> 00:21:34,089 It's my pleasure. 322 00:21:40,766 --> 00:21:45,533 - This is gonna be a disaster. - It'll be fine. 323 00:21:45,604 --> 00:21:48,698 Andrew! Honey, hurry up, dinner's ready! 324 00:21:48,774 --> 00:21:51,140 It's like we're setting a trap for him. 325 00:21:51,209 --> 00:21:53,404 It's for his own good. You'll see. 326 00:21:55,414 --> 00:21:57,814 Smells good. What are we having? 327 00:21:57,883 --> 00:22:01,512 I'm making home-made bratwurst with sweet and sour cabbage. 328 00:22:01,586 --> 00:22:04,578 It's a recipe I found in an old German cookbook. 329 00:22:06,358 --> 00:22:09,521 I'll get the door. Honey, why don't you pour the wine? 330 00:22:12,931 --> 00:22:16,867 - Isn't Danielle at Wendy's? - I believe she is. 331 00:22:16,935 --> 00:22:20,462 Well, then, why did Mom set the table for four places? 332 00:22:20,539 --> 00:22:23,667 - Huh? - I asked, who's coming for dinner? 333 00:22:25,210 --> 00:22:28,702 Andrew, you remember Reverend Sikes, don't you? 334 00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:31,408 Oh, come on. 335 00:22:31,483 --> 00:22:35,977 Reverend, why don't you have a seat and I will get some refreshments. 336 00:22:38,290 --> 00:22:40,019 Ah... 337 00:22:40,092 --> 00:22:43,960 So... Andrew... It's been a long time. 338 00:22:44,996 --> 00:22:47,328 Yes. Yes, it has. 339 00:22:47,399 --> 00:22:49,697 Would you like some water? Flat or bubbly? 340 00:22:49,768 --> 00:22:51,463 Oh, bubbly, please. 341 00:22:52,204 --> 00:22:53,637 So... 342 00:22:53,705 --> 00:22:55,332 Your mother tells me 343 00:22:55,407 --> 00:22:59,901 you've started having some sexual desires for other boys. 344 00:23:04,850 --> 00:23:06,875 I don't suppose I could get some of that? 345 00:23:06,952 --> 00:23:10,718 No. I'm gonna need every drop. 346 00:23:11,990 --> 00:23:16,620 And over the years, we've had so many young people come to our ministry 347 00:23:16,695 --> 00:23:20,062 hating themselves for their unnatural desires. 348 00:23:20,132 --> 00:23:23,329 In a few months, they've found an inner peace and tranquility 349 00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:26,599 that is nothing short of miraculous. 350 00:23:26,671 --> 00:23:30,732 All it takes is a little faith and a desire to change. 351 00:23:30,809 --> 00:23:34,802 I'm sorry, but I really don't want to talk about my sex life. 352 00:23:35,814 --> 00:23:38,374 Well, that's too bad, this needs to be discussed. 353 00:23:38,450 --> 00:23:41,886 Bree, please, let the boy speak. 354 00:23:41,953 --> 00:23:43,352 Go on. 355 00:23:43,422 --> 00:23:47,620 Well, I appreciate your offer to help, I do. But... 356 00:23:47,692 --> 00:23:49,887 I don't hate myself. 357 00:23:49,961 --> 00:23:52,020 So... I'm good. 358 00:23:52,097 --> 00:23:56,693 Son, I know what it's like to be a teenager. It's a very confusing time. 359 00:23:56,768 --> 00:23:58,531 I'm not confused. 360 00:23:58,603 --> 00:24:01,936 I... I know exactly who I am. 361 00:24:06,945 --> 00:24:08,537 Well... 362 00:24:08,613 --> 00:24:12,777 If you ever do want to talk, my door is always open. 363 00:24:18,323 --> 00:24:21,520 Reverend, I don't mean to criticize but... 364 00:24:21,593 --> 00:24:24,255 ...it sounds like you're giving up. 365 00:24:24,329 --> 00:24:27,696 We can't force him on a path of righteousness. 366 00:24:27,766 --> 00:24:31,395 He himself has got to want to make the journey. 367 00:24:31,470 --> 00:24:34,928 What do we do? Just stand by while he starts dating boys? 368 00:24:35,006 --> 00:24:38,066 And by the way, the correct word is not "gay", it's "sodomy". 369 00:24:38,143 --> 00:24:40,134 - We're in the middle of dinner. - So? 370 00:24:40,212 --> 00:24:43,147 Can you wait till dessert to call our son a sodomite? 371 00:24:43,215 --> 00:24:45,615 How you can be so casual is beyond me. 372 00:24:45,684 --> 00:24:49,313 I knew this dinner was a bad idea the moment you suggested it. 373 00:24:49,387 --> 00:24:52,948 - At least I'm trying to be proactive. - Please, no need to get upset. 374 00:24:53,024 --> 00:24:56,516 I'm upset because there's a problem no one seems to notice but me. 375 00:24:56,595 --> 00:24:59,621 As far as I'm concerned, if Andrew is happy with who he is, 376 00:24:59,698 --> 00:25:02,189 it is our job to support him. 377 00:25:10,242 --> 00:25:13,643 - Your father is into S&M. - Bree! 378 00:25:13,712 --> 00:25:16,180 He makes me beat him with a riding crop. I let him. 379 00:25:16,248 --> 00:25:19,581 No wonder you're perverted. Look who your parents are. 380 00:25:26,291 --> 00:25:28,122 Excuse me. 381 00:25:30,395 --> 00:25:32,260 What a fun night. 382 00:25:32,330 --> 00:25:35,731 You know, we should probably do this again sometime. 383 00:25:47,112 --> 00:25:48,807 Hey! 384 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,041 Hey, good news! 385 00:25:51,116 --> 00:25:53,914 I know why you've been so furious at me. 386 00:25:53,985 --> 00:25:58,081 - I haven't been furious at you. - Yes, you have. And I don't blame you. 387 00:25:58,156 --> 00:26:01,319 Men have been coming onto me left and right. 388 00:26:01,393 --> 00:26:04,954 And I've been having so much fun and just enjoying life. 389 00:26:05,030 --> 00:26:08,397 And what do I do? I throw it right in your face. 390 00:26:08,466 --> 00:26:11,026 - I'd hate me too. - Mom, I don't hate you. 391 00:26:11,102 --> 00:26:14,128 Well, be that as it may, 392 00:26:14,205 --> 00:26:17,003 from here on out, I'm including you in all the fun. 393 00:26:17,075 --> 00:26:20,602 - The fun. - Mm-hm. Your mother's come through. 394 00:26:20,679 --> 00:26:22,874 What have you done? 395 00:26:22,948 --> 00:26:25,178 You and I are going on a double date tonight. 396 00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:27,718 - What?! - Tim has a friend from the factory. 397 00:26:27,786 --> 00:26:31,586 I thought the four of us could hang out, have drinks, hors d'oeuvres... 398 00:26:31,656 --> 00:26:33,487 - Forget it. - Susie! 399 00:26:33,558 --> 00:26:36,857 Mom, I'm sorry, I'm just not in the mood to hang out these days. 400 00:26:36,928 --> 00:26:39,988 Susie, sweetie, please. I can't cancel now. 401 00:26:40,065 --> 00:26:43,523 Of course you can. Just call them up and tell them not to come over. 402 00:26:49,007 --> 00:26:53,637 - Tim. - Hi, Suz. This is my buddy, Lamont. 403 00:26:53,712 --> 00:26:56,476 I brought peppermint schnapps. 404 00:27:08,793 --> 00:27:10,761 I'm sure she's fine. 405 00:27:10,829 --> 00:27:14,162 She never leaves her mail sitting out there. 406 00:27:14,232 --> 00:27:16,393 How many times has she thrown ours away 407 00:27:16,468 --> 00:27:18,868 because we didn't pick it up the second it came? 408 00:27:18,937 --> 00:27:20,336 That would be five. 409 00:27:20,405 --> 00:27:23,135 I don't know, I think something's happened to her. 410 00:27:23,208 --> 00:27:24,903 OK, so go check on her. 411 00:27:24,976 --> 00:27:30,004 But if I'm wrong, I'm sucked into a two-hour conversation about bunions. 412 00:27:30,081 --> 00:27:32,072 - Don't go check. - Six months from now, 413 00:27:32,150 --> 00:27:35,210 when they find her corpse at the bottom of the stairs, 414 00:27:35,286 --> 00:27:38,187 what do I tell the kids? "Yeah, I let Mrs. McCluskey die." 415 00:27:38,256 --> 00:27:39,951 Why would they care? 416 00:27:40,025 --> 00:27:44,018 Like they'll miss the dry-cleaning coupons she hands out on Halloween. 417 00:27:44,095 --> 00:27:47,258 - Tom! - Listen, honey, what can I say? 418 00:27:47,332 --> 00:27:50,460 You're damned if you do and damned if you don't, so... 419 00:27:50,535 --> 00:27:53,197 I don't know. Good luck with that. 420 00:27:53,271 --> 00:27:55,535 Honey, I'm hating you a little bit right now. 421 00:28:00,445 --> 00:28:02,675 Hi, honey! Look at my new shoes. 422 00:28:02,747 --> 00:28:05,545 - Yeah. - Aren't they gorgeous? 423 00:28:05,617 --> 00:28:07,517 Honey, I'm trying to watch the game. 424 00:28:09,487 --> 00:28:11,387 Sorry. 425 00:28:16,127 --> 00:28:17,788 How'd you buy new shoes? 426 00:28:17,862 --> 00:28:20,660 Shh! Talk later, you're watching the game. 427 00:28:20,732 --> 00:28:23,098 No, I wanna talk about it now. 428 00:28:23,168 --> 00:28:26,934 - You have no money, what's the story? - Oh, you've heard it before. 429 00:28:27,005 --> 00:28:30,873 Girl meets boy, boy buys girl things, girl leaves happy. 430 00:28:30,942 --> 00:28:32,068 What did you do? 431 00:28:32,143 --> 00:28:35,203 I forgot how generous men could be. 432 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:38,249 I also forgot I have options. A whole bunch of 'em. 433 00:28:38,316 --> 00:28:41,444 - What are you talking about? - I don't need your credit cards. 434 00:28:41,519 --> 00:28:42,850 I don't need your money. 435 00:28:42,921 --> 00:28:46,413 But if our marriage is going to work, I need your respect. 436 00:28:46,491 --> 00:28:49,654 - I'm not ripping up the post-nup. - Yes, you are. 437 00:28:49,728 --> 00:28:54,358 Because if you don't, I'm gonna put on my new shoes and walk out the door. 438 00:28:55,533 --> 00:28:58,934 - Are you threatening me? - No, I'm just pointing something out. 439 00:28:59,003 --> 00:29:03,531 I'm a pretty girl. And pretty girls are never Ionely. 440 00:29:18,523 --> 00:29:22,721 Stop! I'm really ticklish! 441 00:29:22,794 --> 00:29:25,524 So, uh, children's books, right? 442 00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:27,087 That tickles! 443 00:29:27,165 --> 00:29:32,125 I hope you know how lucky you are. Not everyone gets to realize their bliss. 444 00:29:32,203 --> 00:29:34,603 Yeah, it... it can be rewarding. 445 00:29:36,040 --> 00:29:38,600 Why don't you join me? 446 00:29:41,446 --> 00:29:42,606 No. 447 00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:44,739 I'm really ticklish! 448 00:29:45,817 --> 00:29:47,978 - Come on! - What's wrong? 449 00:29:48,052 --> 00:29:51,613 For God's sakes, she's ticklish! How many times do you have to be told? 450 00:29:51,689 --> 00:29:56,558 Oh... This is so much fun. Let's find another CD. 451 00:29:56,628 --> 00:29:59,722 Mother, don't you think it's getting a little late? 452 00:29:59,798 --> 00:30:01,595 Come on! 453 00:30:01,666 --> 00:30:04,430 You haven't even finished your schnapps. 454 00:30:11,242 --> 00:30:14,336 The perfect capper to the perfect evening. 455 00:30:14,412 --> 00:30:17,506 So, goodnight. It's been lovely. 456 00:30:17,582 --> 00:30:19,914 Lamont, good luck with all your inventions. 457 00:30:19,984 --> 00:30:22,475 Well, it's only 11.30. 458 00:30:22,554 --> 00:30:24,784 I wanna hit the clubs! 459 00:30:24,856 --> 00:30:27,222 I know a great place just off the interstate. 460 00:30:27,292 --> 00:30:30,591 - Warm up the old war wagon. - Mom, hold it! 461 00:30:31,696 --> 00:30:35,496 You are not getting into the car alone with those two. You barely know them. 462 00:30:35,567 --> 00:30:39,936 I have great instincts about people, you know that. 463 00:30:40,004 --> 00:30:44,634 - You've been married four times. - Yes, but twice to the same guy. 464 00:30:47,278 --> 00:30:50,645 - Mother... - Susie, please, you're embarrassing me. 465 00:30:50,715 --> 00:30:54,549 - I'm embarrassing you? - Yes. And I've had it! 466 00:30:54,619 --> 00:30:58,055 All night long, I've been trying to get you to stop being so crabby. 467 00:30:58,122 --> 00:31:00,613 And you refuse to let me help. 468 00:31:00,692 --> 00:31:04,685 Oh, and your idea of helping is letting Tim just grope you? 469 00:31:04,762 --> 00:31:08,459 Hey, you shouldn't talk to your mother like that, she's a fine lady... 470 00:31:08,533 --> 00:31:12,196 - Tim, could you just stay out of it? - Yeah, mind your own business. 471 00:31:12,270 --> 00:31:15,706 - What's your problem, pal? - Dude, you were feelin' up her mother. 472 00:31:15,773 --> 00:31:20,005 It pissed me off, too. C'mon, Susie, let's go back inside. 473 00:31:20,078 --> 00:31:25,243 Let's go back inside? Lamont, give it up. You're not getting any. 474 00:31:27,218 --> 00:31:31,484 Why are you being this way? I'm just trying to lighten things up. 475 00:31:31,556 --> 00:31:34,582 Stop acting like tonight was about helping me. 476 00:31:34,659 --> 00:31:38,060 You wanted to go out and have fun and Lamont there needed a date. 477 00:31:38,129 --> 00:31:40,461 - That's not true. - Yes, it is. 478 00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,960 OK, fine. It's true. 479 00:31:45,036 --> 00:31:47,596 I wanted to get out and have fun. Why shouldn't I? 480 00:31:47,672 --> 00:31:50,835 You know how depressed I've been over my break-up with Morty. 481 00:31:50,909 --> 00:31:51,898 Yeah, I do. 482 00:31:51,976 --> 00:31:54,809 That's what makes me crazy, the difference between us. 483 00:31:54,879 --> 00:31:58,474 You can be heartbroken and you can just... move on. 484 00:31:58,549 --> 00:32:00,642 And I... 485 00:32:00,718 --> 00:32:03,050 ...am just broken. 486 00:32:07,458 --> 00:32:12,623 - I know you're sad. - No, Mom, I'm not sad. 487 00:32:12,697 --> 00:32:15,427 And I'm not crabby. 488 00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:20,301 I'm devastated. And you keep acting like all I need is a couple of aspirin. 489 00:32:20,371 --> 00:32:25,001 Morty was just one guy in a series of guys for you. 490 00:32:25,076 --> 00:32:27,044 And Mike... 491 00:32:28,379 --> 00:32:30,677 He was the one. 492 00:32:31,582 --> 00:32:33,743 Why don't you get that? 493 00:32:41,426 --> 00:32:43,394 It's Lynette! 494 00:32:44,929 --> 00:32:46,487 Hello?! 495 00:32:48,199 --> 00:32:49,860 Mrs. McCluskey? 496 00:32:52,804 --> 00:32:54,965 Mrs. McCluskey, are you all right? 497 00:32:55,039 --> 00:32:56,597 How did you get in here? 498 00:32:56,674 --> 00:32:59,837 Uh, Mr. Mullins had a spare. 499 00:33:01,612 --> 00:33:04,945 - Why didn't you open the door? - I was hoping you'd go away. 500 00:33:07,185 --> 00:33:10,848 - Have you been taking your medication? - I don't need to. 501 00:33:10,922 --> 00:33:15,018 - Sometimes the pain goes by itself. - Uh-huh. 502 00:33:15,093 --> 00:33:18,790 Is that why you didn't open the door, because of your hands? 503 00:33:20,365 --> 00:33:24,131 Mrs. McCluskey, do you have anyone that could help you out? 504 00:33:24,202 --> 00:33:26,762 A relative? A... friend? 505 00:33:26,838 --> 00:33:28,328 I'm fine. 506 00:33:30,341 --> 00:33:31,865 OK. 507 00:33:35,246 --> 00:33:37,180 OK. 508 00:33:37,248 --> 00:33:39,648 Uh... Before you go... 509 00:33:39,717 --> 00:33:42,515 Open these, would you, and put out the pills? 510 00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:48,818 - Yeah. - Don't get your hands all over them. 511 00:33:48,893 --> 00:33:52,795 God knows what your kids pick up. Last thing I need's a case of pink eye. 512 00:33:54,665 --> 00:33:57,361 You're a piece of work, you know that? 513 00:33:57,435 --> 00:34:00,165 This is crazy, why do they give you child-proof caps? 514 00:34:00,238 --> 00:34:04,072 First thing tomorrow, I'll take you to the pharmacy and get new bottles. 515 00:34:04,142 --> 00:34:06,633 Don't do me any favors. You don't even like me. 516 00:34:06,711 --> 00:34:09,145 I don't want you to feel obligated. 517 00:34:09,213 --> 00:34:12,671 Let me tell you something. Half of life is obligations. 518 00:34:12,750 --> 00:34:15,947 You don't wanna go to your husband's company party but you do. 519 00:34:16,020 --> 00:34:19,956 You don't wanna sell candy so your kid's band can buy piccolos, but you do. 520 00:34:20,024 --> 00:34:23,619 You attend your third cousin's wedding, pick up the dry-cleaning. 521 00:34:23,694 --> 00:34:25,423 That's life, it's obligations. 522 00:34:26,364 --> 00:34:28,855 And you are now my obligation. 523 00:34:28,933 --> 00:34:31,265 So tomorrow morning, we go to the pharmacy. 524 00:34:31,335 --> 00:34:34,668 Gee, I'm touched by your outpouring of compassion. 525 00:34:34,739 --> 00:34:37,401 We don't have to be friends. 526 00:34:37,475 --> 00:34:40,000 But we're two human beings, 527 00:34:40,078 --> 00:34:41,807 living on the same piece of earth. 528 00:34:41,879 --> 00:34:45,576 We can at least try and help each other out once in a while. 529 00:34:49,454 --> 00:34:51,752 And you know what? 530 00:34:54,692 --> 00:34:57,718 I am going to take this. 531 00:34:57,795 --> 00:34:59,524 Fine. 532 00:34:59,597 --> 00:35:02,395 - I'll see you tomorrow morning. - Pick me up at nine. 533 00:35:03,868 --> 00:35:05,597 And don't be late. 534 00:35:12,477 --> 00:35:15,412 Andrew, come here, I want you to see this. 535 00:35:18,382 --> 00:35:20,748 Uh... What are you looking at? 536 00:35:20,818 --> 00:35:23,753 I'm looking at your baby pictures. 537 00:35:23,821 --> 00:35:25,618 Look at that one. 538 00:35:27,492 --> 00:35:31,622 - How old was I there? - Just four weeks old. 539 00:35:39,604 --> 00:35:43,165 I never told you this, but when I gave birth to you there were... 540 00:35:43,241 --> 00:35:44,902 ...complications. 541 00:35:46,144 --> 00:35:50,706 The umbilical cord wrapped around your neck and you stopped breathing. 542 00:35:50,781 --> 00:35:53,341 The room got very quiet. 543 00:35:53,417 --> 00:35:55,749 And I knew you were in trouble. 544 00:35:55,820 --> 00:35:58,584 So I turned to the doctor and I very calmly said 545 00:35:58,656 --> 00:36:03,286 that he was not to worry about me, that his job was to save your life. 546 00:36:03,361 --> 00:36:05,852 When I say I would die for you... 547 00:36:07,665 --> 00:36:09,929 ...that's not an expression. 548 00:36:11,202 --> 00:36:13,466 I mean it. 549 00:36:13,538 --> 00:36:15,301 Yeah, well, uh... 550 00:36:15,373 --> 00:36:19,275 I'm gonna go eat my sandwich. 551 00:36:19,343 --> 00:36:23,040 Andrew, please, just go and talk to Reverend Sikes. 552 00:36:23,114 --> 00:36:25,344 - Oh, for God's sakes. - He can counsel you. 553 00:36:25,416 --> 00:36:28,180 - It can help. - Mom, I don't need any help. 554 00:36:28,252 --> 00:36:32,382 All right? I'm fine. Why do you keep going on about this? 555 00:36:32,456 --> 00:36:36,290 Because if you don't change who you are then you won't go to heaven. 556 00:36:42,300 --> 00:36:44,063 You, uh... 557 00:36:45,570 --> 00:36:48,061 You don't think I'll go to heaven? 558 00:36:48,139 --> 00:36:50,266 No, I don't. 559 00:36:51,309 --> 00:36:56,144 And I need you there. I would be so Ionely without you. 560 00:37:01,052 --> 00:37:02,519 Well... 561 00:37:02,587 --> 00:37:06,045 I guess... I'd better go talk to Reverend Sikes. 562 00:37:06,123 --> 00:37:08,557 Oh, Andrew! 563 00:37:08,626 --> 00:37:12,824 Thank you so much! You don't know how much that means to me. 564 00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:19,900 Oh! My gosh! 565 00:37:19,971 --> 00:37:21,700 Are you OK? 566 00:37:21,772 --> 00:37:25,139 Oh, yeah, I just, uh, fell down the stairs. I'm fine. 567 00:37:25,209 --> 00:37:28,440 - What's up? - Susan still loves you. 568 00:37:30,781 --> 00:37:33,477 Wow, uh... OK... 569 00:37:34,452 --> 00:37:36,784 This is not a good time for this conversation. 570 00:37:36,854 --> 00:37:39,584 She just misses you so much. 571 00:37:39,657 --> 00:37:43,218 I just found out that someone I was very close to is dead. 572 00:37:43,294 --> 00:37:45,125 I've got to figure out what to do, 573 00:37:45,196 --> 00:37:48,324 so I just don't have time to think about Susan right now. 574 00:37:48,399 --> 00:37:51,300 She's just very, very unhappy and if you could just... 575 00:37:51,369 --> 00:37:53,735 I really don't. 576 00:37:53,804 --> 00:37:55,772 I'm sorry. 577 00:38:30,207 --> 00:38:36,146 I swear before Almighty God I won't reveal a word that's said here today. 578 00:38:36,213 --> 00:38:39,273 Now, what's on your mind? 579 00:38:41,552 --> 00:38:45,113 Well, here's the thing. I lied to my parents. 580 00:38:45,189 --> 00:38:48,283 - I'm not gay. - You're not. 581 00:38:48,359 --> 00:38:49,849 Not really. 582 00:38:51,529 --> 00:38:54,794 All I know is, I wanted to get the hell out of that camp. 583 00:38:54,865 --> 00:38:57,095 So... I lied to my parents. 584 00:38:57,168 --> 00:39:01,696 I told them I was really worried that I was having feelings for other guys. 585 00:39:01,772 --> 00:39:04,297 They did exactly what I wanted them to. 586 00:39:04,375 --> 00:39:09,210 - They're such tools. - I'm sorry, just so I'm clear. 587 00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:11,680 Are you a heterosexual or aren't you? 588 00:39:11,749 --> 00:39:14,081 Look... 589 00:39:14,151 --> 00:39:17,609 I love vanilla ice cream, OK? 590 00:39:17,688 --> 00:39:22,455 But, every now and then, I'm probably gonna be in the mood for chocolate. 591 00:39:22,526 --> 00:39:24,960 You know what I'm saying? 592 00:39:26,130 --> 00:39:30,897 I do. But God would prefer you... stick to the vanilla. 593 00:39:30,968 --> 00:39:33,732 I don't believe in God. 594 00:39:33,804 --> 00:39:35,863 - You don't? - No. 595 00:39:35,940 --> 00:39:38,067 Sorry. 596 00:39:39,510 --> 00:39:41,501 Your mother's gonna be devastated. 597 00:39:41,579 --> 00:39:44,013 She's been praying so hard for you to change. 598 00:39:44,081 --> 00:39:46,515 Well, that's the good news. 599 00:39:46,584 --> 00:39:49,075 I am gonna change. Big time. 600 00:39:49,153 --> 00:39:51,986 L-I'm not sure I follow. 601 00:39:54,725 --> 00:39:58,559 You know what my mom said to me last night? 602 00:39:58,629 --> 00:40:02,030 She said she doesn't think I'm going to heaven. 603 00:40:02,099 --> 00:40:04,693 Can you believe that? 604 00:40:04,769 --> 00:40:08,068 I'm sure she didn't mean to hurt your feelings. 605 00:40:08,139 --> 00:40:13,008 But the only way you can know paradise is by repenting your sins. 606 00:40:16,046 --> 00:40:18,173 When she said that to me, 607 00:40:18,249 --> 00:40:21,275 it suddenly hit me how I was gonna get back at her. 608 00:40:21,352 --> 00:40:26,119 From now on, I'm going to be so good, I'm... 609 00:40:26,190 --> 00:40:29,648 I'm gonna eat my vegetables, I'm gonna get good grades, 610 00:40:29,727 --> 00:40:31,695 say "Yes, ma'am" and "No, ma'am." 611 00:40:31,762 --> 00:40:36,290 I'm gonna make her believe that God has delivered her... 612 00:40:36,367 --> 00:40:39,200 ...this little miracle. 613 00:40:39,270 --> 00:40:43,104 Until one day, when she least expects it... 614 00:40:44,108 --> 00:40:49,546 ...I'm gonna do something so awful, it is going to rock her world. 615 00:40:49,613 --> 00:40:53,208 I mean, it is really going to destroy her. 616 00:40:55,119 --> 00:40:57,280 And when that day comes, 617 00:40:58,255 --> 00:41:00,052 trust me, 618 00:41:00,124 --> 00:41:02,592 I'll know paradise. 619 00:41:14,672 --> 00:41:18,608 Yes, life is a journey, 620 00:41:18,676 --> 00:41:24,012 one that is much better traveled with a companion by our side. 621 00:41:24,081 --> 00:41:27,915 Of course, that companion can be just about anyone. 622 00:41:27,985 --> 00:41:29,646 Mrs. McCluskey! 623 00:41:30,654 --> 00:41:32,451 We're gonna be late for the doctor! 624 00:41:32,523 --> 00:41:34,957 A neighbor on the other side of the stret... 625 00:41:35,025 --> 00:41:38,119 I'm coming, Jeez! Hold your water! 626 00:41:40,831 --> 00:41:44,028 There you go. No more post-nup. 627 00:41:44,101 --> 00:41:47,593 ...or the man on the other side of the bed. 628 00:41:52,910 --> 00:41:56,744 The companion can be a mother with good intentions... 629 00:41:56,814 --> 00:42:00,580 - Thank you for a wonderful service. - Thank you so much, Bree. 630 00:42:00,651 --> 00:42:03,848 ...or a child who's up to no good. 631 00:42:03,921 --> 00:42:06,651 Very inspirational. 632 00:42:10,861 --> 00:42:14,058 Still, despite our best intentions, 633 00:42:14,131 --> 00:42:19,467 some of us will lose our companions along the way. 634 00:42:19,537 --> 00:42:24,236 And then the journey becomes unbearable. 635 00:42:27,411 --> 00:42:33,145 You se, human beings are designed for many things. 636 00:42:34,151 --> 00:42:38,645 But loneliness isn't one of them.