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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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MARY ALICE: Previously on
Desperate Housewives.
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The new neighbour...
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Oh, my God! Katherine!
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... turned out to be
an old friend of Susan's...
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- And that pine tree in the backyard.
- It's my pride and joy.
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... who had a problem
making new friends.
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It absolutely kills me
to have to ask you to cut it down.
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Her daughter couldn't recall the past.
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- I'm Julie's mom.
- Who's Julie again?
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Your best friend when you were little.
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But her husband had news for Susan.
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You're pregnant.
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Lynette revealed her condition.
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I have cancer.
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Gabby and Carlos
began a secret affair.
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- Can you get away tonight?
- Are you serious?
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And Edie uncovered a secret
of another sort.
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EDIE: Why didn't you ever tell me
about your offshore bank account?
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The one with 10 million dollars in it?
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MARY ALICE: The great crime wave hit
Wisteria Lane on a Tuesday afternoon.
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That's when residents found
their barbecues upended,
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their clean laundry trampled
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and their skateboards missing.
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Naturally, everyone began to ask
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who could be responsible
for such carnage?
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The answer lay in the home of a
neighbour, who, 20 minutes earlier,
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had been engaging
in an altogether different type of crime.
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I gotta get back.
I told Edie I was just going for a jog.
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Do I look sweaty enough
for a five-mile run?
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Yeah. Unfortunately, it's my sweat.
When are you gonna dump her?
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It's complicated, okay?
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Besides, I don't see you
in any big hurry to dump Victor.
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Generally speaking,
women don't leave their husbands
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for guys who have girlfriends.
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Just boot the bitch.
What are you afraid of?
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Hey, I am not afraid of...
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Oh, my God!
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What the hell's the matter with you?
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Edie!
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- EDIE: Gabby, you in there?
- God. Okay.
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One second!
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Sorry. Haven't seen him.
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Really? Because Ida Greenberg said
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that she thought she saw him
on your porch.
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That's impossible because he's there!
There he is.
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- What?
- Carlos! He's at your house.
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He just let himself in. There you go.
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- He's home.
- Okay. Well, thanks.
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- You told her I was at home.
- So?
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So, I'm not at home. I'm here!
What the hell am I supposed to do?
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Edie! Edie, wait! Wait, wait, wait!
Don't go! Don't go!
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Why?
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You have a birthday coming up,
and I don't know what to get you.
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...or maybe a coffee pot,
or scented hangers,
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or a nice clock radio.
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Gabby, I don't have time for this.
Why don't you just surprise me?
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Wait, but don't go!
I need a little more guidance!
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Damn it, boys! You should not be
screwing around in the street.
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Somebody's gonna get hurt.
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Carlos?
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Can you believe this?
Someone broke into our house!
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Oh, my God!
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MARY ALICE: And so ended
the great crime wave on Wisteria Lane.
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No one ever found out
who was responsible.
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Ew. You're all sweaty. Go clean up.
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Because, it was an inside job.
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MARY ALICE: You will never see
despair here
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or rage.
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You will never see
the tiniest bit of regret.
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You see, the people who live here
have learned there is one sure way
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of hiding their secrets
from their neighbours.
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That's why, in the suburbs, there is
nothing more deceptive than a smile.
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- So what did Julie say exactly?
- She said Dylan's not the same girl.
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Not the same girl like she's changed,
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or not the same girl
like she's been replaced by a robot?
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I know it sounds weird, but Julie says
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Dylan does not remember anything
about living here.
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Well, maybe she blocked it out.
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Did something bad happen to her
when she was young?
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I'm not sure. But there was something
odd about the way they left.
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So, if it isn't
the early morning gossip brigade.
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Who we dishing today?
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Susan.
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She's standing right there.
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Oh, my God.
Have you been there this whole time?
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Anyway, I wanted to talk to you girls
about Lynette.
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What about her?
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Well, since she's been so tired
from chemo,
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I thought it'd be nice if we did
something for her, like bring her lunch.
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- That sounds great.
- Yeah, let's do it.
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Gabby, why don't you bring
your vegetable lasagne.
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Susan, you do beverages,
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and, Katherine, why don't you bring
a simple green salad.
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I'd rather bring dessert.
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No need, dear. I always bring dessert.
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- I'm thinking my lemon meringue pie.
- Yum.
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Yeah, here's the thing.
The movers lost my salad bowl.
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- My pie plates, on the other hand...
- Will not be needed.
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As I said, I always bring dessert.
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I know. I will lend you my salad bowl.
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You really don't want to miss
Bree's pie. It's perfect.
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Who am I to argue with perfection?
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I'm sorry. It's just something has been
driving me crazy.
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Now you're perfect.
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Does it hurt?
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It's a little uncomfortable, but I'm fine.
Take a card.
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Hey! I told you I'm collecting queens.
Pay attention.
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You remember we played this
when you were in labour with Parker?
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Forty-two hours without meds.
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I'll never forget
what a trouper you were.
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Well, let's not compose my eulogy
just yet. I'm still trouping.
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Take a card.
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Right. It's funny.
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We played cards on our honeymoon
the day that it rained.
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- Do you remember that? We lit a fire...
- You're doing it again.
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Sorry.
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- Hey, I told you I'm collecting queens.
- Shoot. That's right.
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Oh, my God. Are you letting me win?
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- I just wanna make you feel good.
- By taking all the fun out of the kill?
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Honey, I'm sorry. It's just...
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I love you so much.
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Out.
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What?
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You are supposed to be distracting me,
not depressing the hell out of me.
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- You're kicking me out of chemo?
- I'll see you at home.
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- Honey, I'm your ride.
- Just go. I'll cab it.
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There's that trouper
that I admire so much.
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Out!
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- Carlos! Hi.
- Hey, there's my birthday girl.
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Nice car. We got company?
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No.
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Then whose is it?
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It's your birthday present to me.
Surprise!
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A car? I was gonna get you earrings.
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So, get them.
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And I will drive around with the top
down so everyone can see them.
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Edie, I can't afford this.
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Of course you can. Just move
some of your offshore money onshore.
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I told you that account was a secret.
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Which it's not gonna be for long if
I start buying $80,000 cars.
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Now, I'm sensing
that this little nest egg of yours
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is a teensy bit illegal.
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- Where'd it come from?
- You don't need to know that.
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And the IRS doesn't, either.
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You want me to go to jail?
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Goodness, Carlos. I had no idea
that your situation was so precarious.
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Well, I guess I'll just have to
take this back to the dealership.
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Thank you for understanding, babe.
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Look, if you don't want the earrings,
just pick something else out instead.
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Just not too extravagant.
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Don't worry, I have a thought.
And it's right in your price range.
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- Hi.
- Hi.
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Hey, Katherine, what's going on?
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Why is there a moving van
in your driveway?
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I meant to call you.
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It's just been so nuts.
I got a new job in Chicago.
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- So, you're just leaving? Like that?
- I know, it's crazy, huh?
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I really wish I had time to talk,
but I gotta finish packing.
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Well, now, hang on.
Let me just run and get Julie,
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- so she can say goodbye to Dylan.
- We're really in a rush.
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I don't think we're gonna have time...
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That's okay, guys. Keep packing.
I'll clean it up.
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Katherine? Are you okay?
You seem a little jumpy.
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I just had a long night,
and I have a lot to do.
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I'm really gonna miss you.
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Katherine, hi.
I brought you that salad bowl.
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- Thank you. You're so thoughtful.
- No problem.
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Hey, you know,
I was meaning to ask you,
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how did that job in Chicago work out?
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Job?
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You know, the one
that you left so suddenly for.
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Right. Yes, of course. Good.
Worked out well. Very challenging.
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I've got something on the stove.
I better go.
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Susan.
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- What? I'm eating for two.
- Well, do both of you wanna be fat?
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Okay, when I'm in labour
and I am pushing and screaming
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to bring your child into the world,
do you really want me to remember
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that you denied me syrup?
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Carry on.
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Mom, I need to talk to you
about tonight.
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Oh, my God.
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Is it about Matt's party?
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Yeah, it turns out it doesn't start
until 10:00. So can I stay out till 1:00?
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Well, the Johnsons live
right down the road.
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- Yeah, I guess that's fine.
- Thanks.
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Whoa, whoa, is this the Johnsons
over on Crestview?
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Yeah?
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Yeah, I don't think
you should go to that.
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Why not?
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I've done a couple of jobs at that house
and they have some really wild parties.
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I don't even wanna tell you
what I've snaked out of that toilet.
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Those were his brother's parties.
Matt's not like that.
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All 17-year-old guys are like that.
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00:13:30,975 --> 00:13:33,977
The only reason my buddies and I even
had parties was to get girls wasted.
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- Well, I don't drink.
- Neither did Missy Taylor.
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And fast forward
to her tying her bra on my car antenna.
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I really appreciate your concern,
but my mom already told me I could go.
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00:13:45,488 --> 00:13:47,573
Yeah. That's true.
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00:13:47,657 --> 00:13:50,701
Just giving my opinion.
It's up to your mom.
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00:13:56,748 --> 00:14:01,044
Well, I mean,
you both make a good case.
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00:14:05,005 --> 00:14:08,259
But I think I'm gonna have to
agree with...
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- And you know I love you both.
- Decide!
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- Mike. I'm going with Mike.
- What?
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00:14:12,930 --> 00:14:15,765
Well, it sounds like this party could be
on the wild side,
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00:14:15,849 --> 00:14:18,685
- and it is starting very late.
- This is so unfair.
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00:14:18,768 --> 00:14:22,564
I'm sorry, honey. You wanted
a decision, this is my decision.
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00:14:30,696 --> 00:14:32,072
More syrup?
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00:14:33,115 --> 00:14:34,740
Missy Taylor?
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00:14:35,867 --> 00:14:37,201
Carry on.
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00:14:42,373 --> 00:14:46,084
Look at you, little Dylan. All grown up.
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00:14:46,126 --> 00:14:49,546
Karen McCluskey.
I babysat you way back when.
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00:14:49,629 --> 00:14:52,841
- You were a biter.
- Well, I hope I didn't hurt you.
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00:14:52,883 --> 00:14:55,926
No, you were a cutie, but loud.
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00:14:55,968 --> 00:14:57,803
I remember the racket
you used to make on your tricycle.
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00:14:57,887 --> 00:15:01,515
I gave your dad hell
for putting that horn on it.
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00:15:01,557 --> 00:15:03,100
My dad?
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00:15:04,893 --> 00:15:08,271
How could you know my dad?
He left when I was a baby.
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00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:10,607
No, he used to come around
once in a while.
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Anyway, nice to have you back.
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00:15:17,654 --> 00:15:20,324
Please, let me help.
I feel so guilty just sitting here.
223
00:15:20,324 --> 00:15:23,619
Do not move. We want to pamper you,
so please let us.
224
00:15:23,660 --> 00:15:25,120
Thank you.
225
00:15:25,412 --> 00:15:27,121
Hey, so how's the
chemotherapy going?
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00:15:27,163 --> 00:15:29,081
Oh, no, no.
She doesn't want to talk about that.
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00:15:29,165 --> 00:15:31,626
- I don't mind.
- Come on. Let's dig into the pie.
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00:15:31,667 --> 00:15:33,211
Looks amazing.
229
00:15:37,255 --> 00:15:38,548
Wow.
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00:15:38,590 --> 00:15:41,259
Oh, my God. Bree, that is like
the best pie you've ever made.
231
00:15:41,343 --> 00:15:45,055
Well, thank you.
I don't think I did anything differently.
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00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:53,479
This is not my pie.
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00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:03,071
Okay, you caught me. It's mine.
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00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:05,990
What happened to the pie
that I brought?
235
00:16:06,282 --> 00:16:08,492
I was a little sneaky,
and I put it in the fridge.
236
00:16:08,534 --> 00:16:10,118
I just wanted you to try mine.
237
00:16:10,202 --> 00:16:14,456
Well, did we or did we not agree
that I would bring the dessert?
238
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:18,000
I know, but everyone says
you're such an amazing baker,
239
00:16:18,042 --> 00:16:21,671
and I was hoping you would give me
some tips to improve my recipe.
240
00:16:21,712 --> 00:16:25,675
Well, clearly no tips are needed.
241
00:16:25,716 --> 00:16:29,302
As my friends said.
Best pie ever made.
242
00:16:31,638 --> 00:16:34,099
Well, then perhaps
you shouldn't have said anything.
243
00:16:34,141 --> 00:16:38,018
I would have been happy
for everyone to think it was yours.
244
00:16:40,229 --> 00:16:42,857
So, back to the chemo.
How's that been?
245
00:16:44,650 --> 00:16:48,570
Yeah, so far, not that bad.
246
00:16:49,237 --> 00:16:52,323
Though I did have to kick
Tom out yesterday.
247
00:16:52,574 --> 00:16:55,201
- Why?
- He was getting so emotional.
248
00:16:55,243 --> 00:16:58,871
It felt like
the last 20 minutes of Brian's Song.
249
00:17:01,999 --> 00:17:06,086
So, I guess I'm in the market
for a new chemo buddy.
250
00:17:06,587 --> 00:17:10,089
Well, I would be more than happy
to go with you.
251
00:17:11,674 --> 00:17:13,342
Count me in.
252
00:17:13,843 --> 00:17:16,220
I'll sit with you.
I volunteer at the hospital,
253
00:17:16,262 --> 00:17:17,889
so I'll be there anyway.
254
00:17:19,264 --> 00:17:21,349
My God, you guys.
255
00:17:21,433 --> 00:17:24,269
I'm so touched
you're all willing to do this.
256
00:17:24,352 --> 00:17:26,188
What are friends for?
257
00:17:30,524 --> 00:17:31,775
Gabby?
258
00:17:32,860 --> 00:17:35,029
No cream for me, thanks.
259
00:17:40,533 --> 00:17:43,411
She upstaged
your lemon meringue pie?
260
00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:45,288
- You've gotta be kidding.
- I'm not.
261
00:17:45,371 --> 00:17:47,624
That despicable woman
was just supposed to bring
262
00:17:47,707 --> 00:17:49,375
a simple green salad.
263
00:17:49,459 --> 00:17:53,587
She not only brought a pie,
she hid mine and served hers!
264
00:17:53,670 --> 00:17:56,590
That's beyond despicable.
That's culinary terrorism.
265
00:17:56,799 --> 00:17:59,842
It gets worse.
Her pie was better than mine.
266
00:18:00,968 --> 00:18:02,762
- Impossible.
- It's true.
267
00:18:03,137 --> 00:18:05,264
Everyone thought so.
268
00:18:06,224 --> 00:18:07,391
Even me.
269
00:18:07,600 --> 00:18:10,435
And that simple green salad?
Mache and baby arugula
270
00:18:10,477 --> 00:18:14,439
- with duck confit and candied walnuts!
- My God. She plays to win.
271
00:18:14,523 --> 00:18:18,026
I have been here for hours
trying to replicate her recipe
272
00:18:18,068 --> 00:18:21,153
and nothing has even come close.
273
00:18:21,237 --> 00:18:24,532
Don't be so hard on yourself.
This one's fantastic.
274
00:18:24,949 --> 00:18:26,909
That's hers!
275
00:18:27,326 --> 00:18:28,744
Sorry.
276
00:18:29,328 --> 00:18:32,288
Orson, what am I gonna do?
277
00:18:32,372 --> 00:18:34,958
You might have to bite the bullet
and ask her for her recipe.
278
00:18:34,999 --> 00:18:40,421
- What? Surrender? Debase myself?
- Bree, it's your signature pie.
279
00:18:40,505 --> 00:18:43,298
You make it for parties,
church suppers, bake sales.
280
00:18:43,340 --> 00:18:46,885
If she's always right there behind you
with her superior version,
281
00:18:46,969 --> 00:18:50,222
staking out her claim as
Fairview's number-one homemaker...
282
00:18:50,264 --> 00:18:53,182
She will have stolen my entire identity.
283
00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:55,309
Well, I wouldn't go that far.
284
00:18:55,351 --> 00:18:57,145
No, it's true.
285
00:18:57,186 --> 00:19:02,065
The only thing about me that's special
is what I can do in the kitchen.
286
00:19:05,110 --> 00:19:08,989
You're right.
I have got to get that recipe.
287
00:19:10,824 --> 00:19:13,701
By any means necessary.
288
00:19:16,453 --> 00:19:19,248
- Hey, Gabby.
- Hey, what's up?
289
00:19:19,290 --> 00:19:24,627
Well, I felt a little weird about
something that happened at lunch,
290
00:19:24,711 --> 00:19:26,880
- and I thought we should talk about it.
- I know.
291
00:19:26,963 --> 00:19:28,506
Do you believe that pie business?
292
00:19:28,548 --> 00:19:30,842
I thought Bree's head
was gonna explode.
293
00:19:30,884 --> 00:19:32,509
No, not that.
294
00:19:35,053 --> 00:19:37,598
Okay, I don't know how to say this,
so I'm just gonna say it.
295
00:19:37,639 --> 00:19:42,644
When everyone was offering to come
with me to chemo, even Katherine,
296
00:19:42,728 --> 00:19:46,606
who I don't even know,
you sort of clammed up.
297
00:19:46,647 --> 00:19:48,357
What was that about?
298
00:19:48,858 --> 00:19:52,862
Well, it just seemed
like people had it pretty well covered.
299
00:19:53,153 --> 00:19:57,324
Yeah, but, between us,
you're the one I really want there.
300
00:19:57,407 --> 00:20:00,368
Out of everyone you're the most fun,
and I need that now.
301
00:20:00,410 --> 00:20:04,705
That's sweet,
but, to be honest, I don't like hospitals.
302
00:20:05,331 --> 00:20:06,624
Nobody likes hospitals.
303
00:20:06,665 --> 00:20:09,376
Unfortunately, that's the place
you have to go when you're sick,
304
00:20:09,460 --> 00:20:11,003
or your friends are.
305
00:20:13,172 --> 00:20:15,215
You are my friend, right?
306
00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:21,137
- What, is this a test of our friendship?
- Yeah. Kind of.
307
00:20:23,264 --> 00:20:25,140
Can I pencil you in?
308
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:30,437
I can't wait.
309
00:20:35,858 --> 00:20:36,943
Psst.
310
00:20:37,026 --> 00:20:38,402
Come here.
311
00:20:43,741 --> 00:20:45,659
Okay, I'll come there.
312
00:20:48,036 --> 00:20:50,956
- You still mad at me about the party?
- You picked up on that, did you?
313
00:20:51,039 --> 00:20:55,376
Okay, look,
I've been thinking about things and...
314
00:20:55,459 --> 00:20:56,794
(WHISPERING)
Just forget what I said earlier.
315
00:20:56,877 --> 00:20:58,295
You mean I can go!
316
00:20:58,379 --> 00:21:00,756
(SHUSHING) Jeez.
Mike's in the other room.
317
00:21:00,798 --> 00:21:03,092
- You're not gonna tell him?
- No, and neither are you.
318
00:21:03,551 --> 00:21:05,010
Why are you walking on eggshells?
319
00:21:05,052 --> 00:21:07,220
You are my mother.
You have every right to override him.
320
00:21:07,303 --> 00:21:11,099
I know. I just, I think it's sweet
that he worries about you.
321
00:21:11,141 --> 00:21:15,103
And I want him to feel like he's part
of the decision-making process.
322
00:21:15,145 --> 00:21:17,771
Well, clearly he's not
if you're going behind his back.
323
00:21:17,813 --> 00:21:19,606
- Do you wanna go or not?
- Yes, yes.
324
00:21:19,648 --> 00:21:21,942
- I really wanna go to the party.
- Party?
325
00:21:21,984 --> 00:21:24,736
Are you guys still talking about that?
326
00:21:25,446 --> 00:21:29,282
Can you believe it? Let it go!
327
00:21:29,323 --> 00:21:32,952
You know, Mike and I decided no party,
and that's final!
328
00:21:34,287 --> 00:21:35,663
Have fun.
329
00:21:47,590 --> 00:21:49,675
- Bree.
- I hope this isn't a bad time.
330
00:21:49,758 --> 00:21:52,470
I just wanted
to bring you a housewarming gift.
331
00:21:52,553 --> 00:21:55,681
It's the recipe
for my special mincemeat pie.
332
00:21:55,764 --> 00:21:58,516
It wouldn't be
Thanksgiving at my house without it.
333
00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:02,479
Well, aren't you thoughtful.
334
00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:05,273
Let me just file this in my recipe box.
335
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,941
Well, as long as
we're swapping pie recipes,
336
00:22:08,025 --> 00:22:11,612
I would love the one
for your fabulous lemon meringue.
337
00:22:11,695 --> 00:22:16,533
Really? I'm so flattered you'd ask.
But I don't share that.
338
00:22:19,702 --> 00:22:23,623
- Excuse me?
- You have to understand.
339
00:22:23,706 --> 00:22:28,627
I experimented for years before
I came up with my secret ingredient.
340
00:22:28,710 --> 00:22:32,756
Which is what? Vanilla?
Nutmeg? Cardamom?
341
00:22:32,798 --> 00:22:37,636
If I told you, it wouldn't be a secret
any more. It would just be an ingredient.
342
00:22:40,221 --> 00:22:42,848
Well, that hardly seems neighbourly.
343
00:22:42,890 --> 00:22:45,768
After all, I just gave you
the recipe for my mincemeat pie.
344
00:22:45,851 --> 00:22:49,646
Yes, and it's a very good one.
I have the book it came from.
345
00:22:50,396 --> 00:22:51,648
That recipe is not from a book.
346
00:22:51,731 --> 00:22:54,526
That recipe was handed down to me
from my mother.
347
00:22:54,567 --> 00:22:58,737
Well, unless your mother was
Betty Crocker, she got it from a book.
348
00:23:00,072 --> 00:23:05,410
- Oh, dear, now I've upset you.
- No. No, I am not upset.
349
00:23:05,494 --> 00:23:08,288
I'm just confused
as to why you seem so determined
350
00:23:08,330 --> 00:23:10,081
to get off on the wrong foot.
351
00:23:10,164 --> 00:23:12,834
First, you bring a pie to Lynette's,
when I clearly assigned you the salad...
352
00:23:12,917 --> 00:23:16,003
Now see, that's where I'm confused.
353
00:23:16,087 --> 00:23:19,256
Just what, please, gives you the right
to decide who brings what
354
00:23:19,339 --> 00:23:21,758
to a luncheon that I suggested?
355
00:23:21,842 --> 00:23:25,595
Well, it's tradition. I always organise
our little get-togethers,
356
00:23:25,679 --> 00:23:27,764
and I always bring dessert.
357
00:23:27,848 --> 00:23:32,309
Well, then how lovely that I'm back
and can shoulder that burden for you.
358
00:23:33,769 --> 00:23:36,272
Just give me the recipe!
359
00:23:36,522 --> 00:23:38,357
Sorry, I can't.
360
00:23:40,108 --> 00:23:44,821
I do hope this doesn't keep us from
being friends because I like you, Bree.
361
00:23:49,033 --> 00:23:51,618
And I'm sure if you put your mind to it,
362
00:23:51,702 --> 00:23:55,080
you can come up with an even better
lemon meringue pie than mine.
363
00:23:55,122 --> 00:23:59,001
The trick is finding
that perfect blend of sweet and sour.
364
00:24:00,126 --> 00:24:04,213
Well, you've certainly
mastered that, dear.
365
00:24:10,219 --> 00:24:12,721
So, when do I get to see
my big surprise?
366
00:24:12,804 --> 00:24:17,476
SUSAN: Wait for it. Wait for it. Ta-dah.
367
00:24:18,894 --> 00:24:20,187
Whoa.
368
00:24:20,644 --> 00:24:23,481
All that syrup went straight
to your boobs.
369
00:24:24,148 --> 00:24:27,359
So it's not my imagination.
They're bigger, right?
370
00:24:27,485 --> 00:24:28,694
Yeah.
371
00:24:30,488 --> 00:24:32,655
- Especially the right one.
- Mike!
372
00:24:32,739 --> 00:24:35,450
Just kidding. Pick those up
and bring them over here.
373
00:24:35,492 --> 00:24:39,621
Well, I better warn you.
I may have to work the shoulders.
374
00:24:39,829 --> 00:24:40,872
(HUMMING)
375
00:24:45,751 --> 00:24:50,005
Hey. That thing with Julie
and the party this morning?
376
00:24:50,172 --> 00:24:52,507
Thanks for backing me up.
It meant a lot.
377
00:24:52,590 --> 00:24:54,926
I know it wasn't easy for you.
378
00:24:55,009 --> 00:24:58,346
Yeah, well, you know,
sometimes you gotta hang tough.
379
00:24:58,429 --> 00:25:02,140
Well, you did the right thing.
I drove by that house tonight.
380
00:25:02,182 --> 00:25:05,769
- That party was out of control.
- What?
381
00:25:05,852 --> 00:25:08,897
Yeah, there were kids
staggering around drunk.
382
00:25:09,272 --> 00:25:10,941
Puking in the gutter.
383
00:25:11,024 --> 00:25:14,068
I even saw some girls
running around topless.
384
00:25:14,110 --> 00:25:16,070
I'm sure the cops will be there
any minute.
385
00:25:16,195 --> 00:25:17,238
(GASPS)
386
00:25:17,947 --> 00:25:20,032
We need whipped cream.
387
00:25:20,783 --> 00:25:21,867
What?
388
00:25:21,951 --> 00:25:26,871
Well, I don't think that you can have
sexy date night without whipped cream.
389
00:25:26,955 --> 00:25:28,748
Can't and won't.
390
00:25:29,874 --> 00:25:31,751
Well, I can go get some.
391
00:25:31,793 --> 00:25:36,255
No, no, you've worked all day.
You stay here. I'll go to the store.
392
00:25:41,552 --> 00:25:43,594
Could you get more syrup?
393
00:25:45,638 --> 00:25:47,098
Make a wish.
394
00:25:50,643 --> 00:25:54,604
So, I'm dying to see what I got you.
How thoughtful was I?
395
00:25:54,896 --> 00:25:56,022
Very.
396
00:25:58,900 --> 00:26:00,110
Open it.
397
00:26:05,322 --> 00:26:08,451
- "Yes!"
- Not yet. I haven't asked the question.
398
00:26:12,913 --> 00:26:15,290
Will you marry me, Carlos Solis?
399
00:26:19,836 --> 00:26:21,421
And you say...
400
00:26:22,839 --> 00:26:24,339
You're proposing?
401
00:26:24,423 --> 00:26:27,217
You said
you didn't wanna spend too much.
402
00:26:27,259 --> 00:26:29,803
So what's more affordable
than a promise?
403
00:26:29,845 --> 00:26:32,473
- Look, Edie...
- I'm doing this for you.
404
00:26:32,514 --> 00:26:36,309
If the IRS
gets wind of your rainy-day fund,
405
00:26:36,350 --> 00:26:39,061
they could make me testify against you.
406
00:26:39,103 --> 00:26:41,814
But if I were your wife...
407
00:26:43,858 --> 00:26:46,234
How are they going to find out?
408
00:26:46,443 --> 00:26:51,323
Honey, people talk.
Angry people, disappointed people.
409
00:26:53,283 --> 00:26:57,328
Come on, say your line.
It's my birthday.
410
00:27:04,794 --> 00:27:07,670
Fine. We're engaged.
411
00:27:07,712 --> 00:27:08,922
(EX CLAIMS)
412
00:27:08,963 --> 00:27:13,384
Carlos. I think I'm going to cry.
413
00:27:15,886 --> 00:27:17,429
Yeah, me, too.
414
00:27:18,806 --> 00:27:20,182
(ROCK MUSIC PLA YIN G)
415
00:27:20,224 --> 00:27:21,725
I mean, how weird is that?
416
00:27:21,809 --> 00:27:25,687
My mom always told me that my dad
took off right after I was born.
417
00:27:25,729 --> 00:27:27,522
So did she explain
what McCluskey said?
418
00:27:27,563 --> 00:27:30,525
I didn't tell her. She kind of freaks out
anytime I bring him up.
419
00:27:30,650 --> 00:27:33,361
Dylan, you have a right to know about
your dad. You've got to confront her.
420
00:27:33,402 --> 00:27:37,447
Yeah, right. I could never do that.
She isn't cool like your mom.
421
00:27:41,243 --> 00:27:43,453
Hi. It's my birthday.
422
00:27:43,745 --> 00:27:46,914
That must mean you're Matt.
I'm Susan Mayer, and I'm...
423
00:27:46,997 --> 00:27:48,457
All righty.
424
00:27:49,250 --> 00:27:53,170
Boomer, you magnificent bastard!
You actually did it!
425
00:27:53,254 --> 00:27:55,714
It wasn't me, but happy birthday, man.
426
00:27:55,756 --> 00:27:59,175
Well, it was somebody. Who cares!
Gather around, men!
427
00:27:59,759 --> 00:28:01,553
So, you like this music?
428
00:28:01,594 --> 00:28:04,889
Yeah, it's fine. Would somebody
just tell me where I could find...
429
00:28:04,931 --> 00:28:09,059
Hey, enough talking! Take it off!
We're feeling generous tonight.
430
00:28:09,101 --> 00:28:11,061
- Oh, my God!
- Yeah.
431
00:28:11,103 --> 00:28:12,729
I'm not a stripper!
432
00:28:12,771 --> 00:28:14,857
- You're not?
- Is this gonna happen, or what?
433
00:28:14,940 --> 00:28:18,860
- Boomer, she's not a stripper.
- Well, what's with the implants?
434
00:28:19,694 --> 00:28:21,237
I'm pregnant!
435
00:28:24,699 --> 00:28:26,576
That's hot.
436
00:28:29,870 --> 00:28:33,749
Sorry, I should have known
you were Julie's mom.
437
00:28:33,790 --> 00:28:36,460
You're way too gorgeous
to be a stripper.
438
00:28:36,543 --> 00:28:40,838
If that's your lame attempt to keep me
from calling your parents, it worked.
439
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:42,339
Well played.
440
00:28:44,967 --> 00:28:47,887
Excuse me. Excuse me. Excuse me.
441
00:28:51,473 --> 00:28:53,016
Excuse me.
442
00:28:54,225 --> 00:28:56,978
- Mom? What are you doing here?
- I'm taking you home.
443
00:28:57,061 --> 00:29:00,355
- This party is out of control.
- No, it's not.
444
00:29:00,397 --> 00:29:02,316
Well, of course you don't think it is
445
00:29:02,399 --> 00:29:05,569
because you're knocking back
a big cup of
446
00:29:08,238 --> 00:29:09,947
orange soda.
447
00:29:09,989 --> 00:29:11,699
- I don't believe this.
- Well, believe it.
448
00:29:11,741 --> 00:29:14,577
We're going. You too, Dylan. Come on.
449
00:29:17,163 --> 00:29:20,207
And what are you wearing?
It's embarrassing.
450
00:29:20,332 --> 00:29:22,542
Yeah, well, Boomer likes it.
451
00:29:29,091 --> 00:29:31,884
Call me tomorrow. We'll go to a movie
my mom can drag us out of.
452
00:29:36,514 --> 00:29:40,183
- Look, I get that you're upset.
- No, I'm confused.
453
00:29:40,266 --> 00:29:42,352
First I can go to the party,
then I can't because Mike says no,
454
00:29:42,435 --> 00:29:44,187
then I can, but
"don't tell Mike and behave yourself."
455
00:29:44,270 --> 00:29:46,940
So I behave myself and you punish me!
456
00:29:48,191 --> 00:29:51,693
Okay, I admit that there's
a certain lack of consistency there.
457
00:29:51,944 --> 00:29:55,531
It's like, ever since you got married,
I can't win.
458
00:29:57,366 --> 00:29:59,535
Do you think this is easy for me?
459
00:29:59,618 --> 00:30:03,413
Trying to keep peace between a new
husband and a teenage daughter?
460
00:30:03,454 --> 00:30:05,581
You're always putting me in the middle.
461
00:30:05,623 --> 00:30:06,791
I don't do that.
462
00:30:06,874 --> 00:30:09,669
Please, every time you and Mike
disagree on something,
463
00:30:09,710 --> 00:30:11,169
you give me the look.
464
00:30:11,211 --> 00:30:13,672
That pitiful face
that says if I don't back you up,
465
00:30:13,713 --> 00:30:15,132
I love the other one more.
466
00:30:15,215 --> 00:30:17,717
I don't expect you
to side with me every time.
467
00:30:17,801 --> 00:30:21,345
Just make a decision and stick to it.
And no more lying.
468
00:30:23,556 --> 00:30:25,391
Well, you're right.
469
00:30:25,474 --> 00:30:29,895
I'm an adult, and I need to be honest
about these things, and I will be.
470
00:30:30,146 --> 00:30:31,688
Starting tomorrow.
471
00:30:36,151 --> 00:30:41,406
Hey, look who I picked up
coming out of the movies. A PG movie.
472
00:30:42,072 --> 00:30:47,077
- Is this the perfect teenager, or what?
- Well, the movies, huh? That's funny.
473
00:30:47,161 --> 00:30:48,370
One of Julie's friends just called
474
00:30:48,412 --> 00:30:50,914
to make sure she got home
from the party.
475
00:30:50,998 --> 00:30:54,751
She was worried when she saw you
leaving with a stripper.
476
00:30:56,586 --> 00:30:57,795
The jig is up, Mom.
477
00:30:57,837 --> 00:30:59,422
(WHISPERING)
No, no. We can salvage this.
478
00:30:59,505 --> 00:31:01,174
Just work with me.
479
00:31:02,174 --> 00:31:03,884
I did go to the party.
480
00:31:03,925 --> 00:31:06,219
Mom went behind your back
and told me I could,
481
00:31:06,261 --> 00:31:08,847
but I didn't drink
or do anything I shouldn't have.
482
00:31:08,930 --> 00:31:12,267
Glad to hear it,
and thanks for your honesty.
483
00:31:15,770 --> 00:31:20,316
You know, this perfect-teenager thing
is really starting to chap my ass.
484
00:31:20,357 --> 00:31:22,026
I'm going to bed.
485
00:31:25,695 --> 00:31:27,864
Please tell me this isn't going to be
one of those things
486
00:31:27,947 --> 00:31:30,867
where you leave me,
and I go screaming down the street.
487
00:31:30,950 --> 00:31:33,786
- Why'd you go behind my back?
- I'm sorry.
488
00:31:35,621 --> 00:31:39,458
You gotta understand.
For so long, it's been just Julie and me,
489
00:31:39,541 --> 00:31:42,211
and I've made all the decisions alone.
490
00:31:42,294 --> 00:31:45,421
- You felt so strongly.
- It was just an opinion. Really.
491
00:31:45,463 --> 00:31:46,964
She's your daughter.
492
00:31:47,048 --> 00:31:51,010
I completely respect your right
to raise her however you want.
493
00:31:51,052 --> 00:31:52,387
Thanks.
494
00:31:52,470 --> 00:31:56,014
Now, that being said, this baby is ours.
495
00:31:56,056 --> 00:31:59,893
So we get to make all those
parenting decisions together. Right?
496
00:31:59,976 --> 00:32:01,770
Right.
497
00:32:01,895 --> 00:32:04,772
So can we go back to date night?
498
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:10,069
Only if you work the shoulders.
499
00:32:11,070 --> 00:32:12,154
Ooh.
500
00:32:22,330 --> 00:32:23,873
LYNETTE: Gabby,
where have you been?
501
00:32:23,915 --> 00:32:26,250
You went to the bathroom
like half an hour ago.
502
00:32:26,333 --> 00:32:29,044
Sorry, I stopped off
to get you some magazines.
503
00:32:30,587 --> 00:32:32,965
"Top ten new hairstyles."
504
00:32:33,006 --> 00:32:36,342
Yeah, well, I'm kind of bald right now,
but thanks.
505
00:32:36,926 --> 00:32:38,302
Why don't I go check
if there are some other ones.
506
00:32:38,344 --> 00:32:41,723
No, no. I don't need magazines.
I need company. Sit down.
507
00:32:41,764 --> 00:32:44,975
You've been bouncing around
since you got here.
508
00:32:48,019 --> 00:32:52,023
So, how do you like being
the first lady of Fairview?
509
00:32:52,107 --> 00:32:53,525
It's good.
510
00:32:55,193 --> 00:32:57,445
Are you cold?
They keep it cold in here.
511
00:32:57,528 --> 00:32:59,613
I'm fine. So tell me something.
512
00:32:59,697 --> 00:33:01,532
When you go to a ribbon cutting,
do you get to keep
513
00:33:01,615 --> 00:33:05,286
- those gigantic novelty scissors?
- You must be freezing.
514
00:33:05,369 --> 00:33:07,829
You know,
I have the cutest shawl in the car.
515
00:33:07,871 --> 00:33:10,457
So I'm just gonna
run out and get it for you.
516
00:33:10,540 --> 00:33:14,169
Boy, you really don't want
to be here, do you?
517
00:33:15,378 --> 00:33:17,880
What are you talking about?
I'm trying to help.
518
00:33:17,963 --> 00:33:20,674
Yeah, in any way
that gets you out of this room.
519
00:33:24,803 --> 00:33:27,055
I'm sorry.
It's just hospitals are hard for me.
520
00:33:27,138 --> 00:33:29,640
Yeah, you told me, but, jeez, Gabby,
521
00:33:29,724 --> 00:33:32,435
don't you care enough
to make an effort?
522
00:33:32,810 --> 00:33:34,812
You think I don't care?
523
00:33:35,813 --> 00:33:40,484
I get it. You're uncomfortable.
Just go. I'm fine.
524
00:33:44,404 --> 00:33:45,739
I'm fine.
525
00:33:55,331 --> 00:33:57,957
Did I ever tell you about my father?
526
00:33:59,167 --> 00:34:00,960
He had cancer, too.
527
00:34:02,754 --> 00:34:07,883
Started in the liver, went to his bones,
and 10 months later he was dead.
528
00:34:08,926 --> 00:34:13,013
- Thanks for that encouraging story...
- I'm not finished.
529
00:34:15,516 --> 00:34:20,520
Those last weeks, every day
we thought we were gonna lose him.
530
00:34:21,104 --> 00:34:25,691
And every day, before I would go
into his room, my mom would say,
531
00:34:25,775 --> 00:34:28,985
"No tears.
Daddy wants to see you smiling.
532
00:34:29,027 --> 00:34:31,780
"If you're gonna cry, you can't go in."
533
00:34:33,031 --> 00:34:35,617
So, on the last night,
534
00:34:37,369 --> 00:34:40,371
I sat there, and I watched him die.
535
00:34:43,124 --> 00:34:46,377
His eyes were closed,
but I thought he could still see me.
536
00:34:48,379 --> 00:34:50,505
So I kept smiling.
537
00:34:53,466 --> 00:34:54,884
All night.
538
00:34:58,304 --> 00:34:59,805
I was five.
539
00:35:01,807 --> 00:35:03,225
Oh, my God.
540
00:35:03,642 --> 00:35:06,311
But on the plus side,
I made a pretty good career
541
00:35:06,395 --> 00:35:10,231
out of knowing how to smile
when I didn't really feel like it.
542
00:35:17,071 --> 00:35:19,489
But I can't pretend with you.
543
00:35:23,410 --> 00:35:26,246
Not when I'm scared
I'm gonna lose you.
544
00:35:27,914 --> 00:35:30,166
You're not gonna lose me.
545
00:35:32,084 --> 00:35:37,798
You promise? 'Cause if I did, then...
546
00:35:41,176 --> 00:35:45,555
- God, I'm such a mess.
- It's okay. Come here. Let it go.
547
00:36:26,634 --> 00:36:30,304
Honey? I'm gonna get Adam.
Be right back.
548
00:36:32,180 --> 00:36:33,390
Mom?
549
00:36:35,141 --> 00:36:37,977
- Can I talk to you about something?
- Sure,
550
00:36:38,061 --> 00:36:40,897
if you don't mind talking in the car.
551
00:36:43,649 --> 00:36:47,152
MARY ALICE: Bree Hodge persisted
in her effort to unlock the secret
552
00:36:47,236 --> 00:36:50,698
of Katherine Mayfair's
lemon meringue.
553
00:36:51,073 --> 00:36:57,036
But after several failed attempts,
it occurred to Bree
554
00:36:57,078 --> 00:37:02,041
that while she might not have
the key to Katherine's recipe,
555
00:37:02,332 --> 00:37:04,501
she did have the key
556
00:37:05,168 --> 00:37:07,379
to Katherine's house.
557
00:37:42,870 --> 00:37:44,912
- Hey, what's up?
- I was doing a little baking,
558
00:37:44,954 --> 00:37:47,874
and I was wondering
if I could borrow something.
559
00:37:47,957 --> 00:37:50,501
Sure, what do you need?
Flour? Sugar?
560
00:38:05,222 --> 00:38:08,476
You can't believe
what Karen McCluskey tells you.
561
00:38:08,559 --> 00:38:11,562
She's an old woman, practically senile.
562
00:38:11,645 --> 00:38:13,105
She didn't sound senile to me.
563
00:38:13,147 --> 00:38:15,774
Dylan, maybe
this is not the time, okay?
564
00:38:15,815 --> 00:38:17,525
You said my father
didn't care about me,
565
00:38:17,567 --> 00:38:21,071
but she says he came here.
He wanted to see me.
566
00:38:21,112 --> 00:38:23,239
Why would you not tell me that?
567
00:38:23,323 --> 00:38:24,366
(DOOR UNLOCKING)
568
00:38:25,824 --> 00:38:28,243
He's my father! I deserve to know!
569
00:38:28,327 --> 00:38:31,121
The only thing you need to know about
that man is he was a monster.
570
00:38:31,163 --> 00:38:34,083
I can decide that for myself.
Where is he?
571
00:38:36,584 --> 00:38:37,919
I don't know.
572
00:38:38,753 --> 00:38:40,463
- You're lying.
- No, she's not.
573
00:38:40,505 --> 00:38:43,800
Yes, she is. She has been lying to me
my whole life.
574
00:38:44,842 --> 00:38:47,969
I'm starting to think
maybe you're the monster!
575
00:38:56,310 --> 00:38:59,980
She can't talk to me that way.
Not after everything I've done for her.
576
00:39:00,022 --> 00:39:01,440
Well, maybe that's the problem.
577
00:39:01,524 --> 00:39:03,401
She doesn't know
what you've done for her.
578
00:39:03,442 --> 00:39:05,653
Nobody does.
And it's gonna stay that way.
579
00:39:05,695 --> 00:39:09,322
Are you sure? She's just
gonna keep asking questions.
580
00:39:09,531 --> 00:39:12,826
Then we'd better
start coming up with better lies.
581
00:39:31,759 --> 00:39:35,179
There you are.
I was wondering where you'd gone to.
582
00:39:35,888 --> 00:39:39,391
I just let myself into Katherine's house
to get that recipe.
583
00:39:39,474 --> 00:39:41,810
Well, that seems a bit extreme.
584
00:39:44,146 --> 00:39:47,523
Well, at least you know her secret now.
585
00:39:47,565 --> 00:39:50,359
Yes, and it has nothing to do with pie.
586
00:39:57,407 --> 00:40:02,412
Here's the thing. I got a real chance
of getting back together with my ex,
587
00:40:02,495 --> 00:40:05,373
but this woman is standing in my way.
588
00:40:05,415 --> 00:40:08,876
And she knows about the money,
and she's made it clear that if I leave
589
00:40:08,917 --> 00:40:11,211
she's gonna blow the whistle.
590
00:40:13,839 --> 00:40:15,716
You gotta understand,
591
00:40:16,842 --> 00:40:19,177
I really did care for Edie,
592
00:40:20,178 --> 00:40:22,680
but I can't let her ruin my life.
593
00:40:27,018 --> 00:40:29,269
That's where you come in.
594
00:40:40,696 --> 00:40:43,783
Guys, we better behave
or the nurses are gonna kick us out.
595
00:40:43,866 --> 00:40:47,411
Hey, it's our chemo party,
and we'll laugh if we want to.
596
00:40:49,537 --> 00:40:51,122
Gabby, this was a wonderful idea.
597
00:40:51,206 --> 00:40:54,125
I cannot tell you
how much it means to me.
598
00:40:54,209 --> 00:40:57,087
Well, don't get sappy on me.
I won't stand for it.
599
00:40:57,128 --> 00:41:00,506
- All right, Susan, is the camera ready?
- Yeah. Got it.
600
00:41:00,547 --> 00:41:03,300
Okay. Once the light starts blinking,
we've got 10 seconds.
601
00:41:03,384 --> 00:41:07,971
So, everybody say "cheese,"
and hold it. One, two, three.
602
00:41:08,138 --> 00:41:09,430
ALL: Cheese!
603
00:41:10,390 --> 00:41:14,560
MARY ALICE: There is nothing
more deceptive than a smile.
604
00:41:14,644 --> 00:41:19,023
And no one knows this better than
the people who hide behind them.
605
00:41:20,732 --> 00:41:24,820
Some flash their teeth
as a polite warning to their enemies.
606
00:41:25,988 --> 00:41:29,991
Some put on beaming faces
to keep their tears from falling.
607
00:41:30,825 --> 00:41:34,078
Others wear silly grins
to mask their fear.
608
00:41:37,248 --> 00:41:42,002
But then there is that rare smile
that is actually genuine.
609
00:41:45,255 --> 00:41:46,965
I'll take care of it.
610
00:41:47,048 --> 00:41:53,137
It's the smile of a person who knows
his troubles will soon be over.