1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:40,000 ÉùÃ÷£º±¾×ÖĻÓÉÊ×·¢Ó°ÊÓÂÛÌ³ÃŻ§Õ¾Ô­´´ÖÆ×÷ »♪Ó­µÇ¼Ê×·¢Ó°ÊÓÂÛ̳www.ShowFa.tv 2 00:03:40,001 --> 00:03:45,000 ·­Òë:´ºË®ÈçÌì numb СÔÊ ling nicole °ü°ü У♪Ô: ´ºË®ÈçÌì numb СÔÊ ling nicole °ü°ü ʱ¼äÖá: ˳×Ó Ñ¹ÖÆ: ÁéϪ ×ÖĻ×ܼà: °ü°ü 3 00:00:00,090 --> 00:00:02,140 Previously on Desperate Housewives... 4 00:00:02,370 --> 00:00:06,330 Bree's husband felt rejected. I think it's strange to see my wife billed 5 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:08,610 As "mrs. Van de kamp." it's how I'm known. 6 00:00:08,620 --> 00:00:12,740 Is there a mr. Van de kamp? No, uh, mr. Van de kamp is deceased. 7 00:00:12,750 --> 00:00:14,690 Would it have killed you to have mentioned me? 8 00:00:14,980 --> 00:00:18,310 It's because I went to jail, isn't it? Lynette's husband was excited. 9 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:20,220 We're gonna start a garage band! 10 00:00:20,230 --> 00:00:21,590 I thought you were the one who said you wanted 11 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:24,620 To spend more Time with your family. Guys need to blow off steam. 12 00:00:25,370 --> 00:00:28,060 Edie's new husband had a past... You've been here six weeks, 13 00:00:28,070 --> 00:00:30,170 And you don't seem any closer to coming to terms 14 00:00:30,180 --> 00:00:32,210 With your rage. I've come to terms with it, 15 00:00:32,220 --> 00:00:35,450 And I like it just the way it is. ...Which remained a mystery. 16 00:00:35,460 --> 00:00:37,220 I just think it's odd that you're married to some guy. 17 00:00:37,230 --> 00:00:39,970 You don't know anything about him. Well, she kept asking me All this Stuff 18 00:00:39,980 --> 00:00:41,440 About your background. 19 00:00:41,530 --> 00:00:43,380 And Susan tried to move on. 20 00:00:43,390 --> 00:00:46,300 Well, I sort of started seeing someone. Good for you. 21 00:00:53,910 --> 00:00:56,650 Every year, ms. Elenora BuTTers 22 00:00:56,660 --> 00:00:58,640 Would ask her kindergarten class 23 00:00:58,650 --> 00:01:00,740 To draw a picture of their families 24 00:01:01,220 --> 00:01:04,550 Which she would then display on "meet the teacher" night. 25 00:01:05,890 --> 00:01:07,920 That's how Ty Richmond's parents 26 00:01:07,930 --> 00:01:09,980 Saw his depiction of their fighting... 27 00:01:12,330 --> 00:01:13,990 And Amy Hines' parents 28 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,480 Saw her portrayal of their drinking. 29 00:01:18,340 --> 00:01:20,130 And Jason Monte's parents 30 00:01:20,140 --> 00:01:23,110 Saw his illustration of their hygiene. 31 00:01:25,860 --> 00:01:29,000 You see, ms. Butters felt it was important 32 00:01:29,010 --> 00:01:32,800 For parents to see themselves through their children's eyes. 33 00:01:34,590 --> 00:01:36,700 She knew the experience... 34 00:01:36,710 --> 00:01:38,500 Ed, he's got me vacuuming in my bra. 35 00:01:39,460 --> 00:01:40,610 Do I do that? 36 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:43,700 Could be very Educational. 37 00:01:45,260 --> 00:01:46,520 I know, I know. 38 00:01:46,590 --> 00:01:49,060 Did I not say 7:00? You missed their little show. 39 00:01:49,070 --> 00:01:52,250 M.J. Was tooth decay. Well, crosstown traffic killed me. 40 00:01:52,260 --> 00:01:53,620 And I told you to videotape it. 41 00:01:53,630 --> 00:01:55,610 Well, did you tell me to take off the lens cap? 42 00:01:55,620 --> 00:01:59,760 Next Time, be more specific. Mr. Delfino, glad you made it. 43 00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:02,250 Uh, did you get to see m.J.'s artwork? 44 00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:04,070 No, not yet. Can't wait. Oh. 45 00:02:04,930 --> 00:02:06,390 Oh, hey, look at that. 46 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:08,650 There we are, Standing in front of the house. 47 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,450 Look what he did with my hair. 48 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:13,210 I kind of like the bangs. Yeah, look, he put a wrench in my pocket. 49 00:02:13,270 --> 00:02:15,910 And see how big my muscles are? Which is a good thing, 50 00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:18,400 'cause there's a shark attacking the house. 51 00:02:20,950 --> 00:02:22,220 Hey, daddy. 52 00:02:22,230 --> 00:02:23,640 Hey, buddy. Your mommy and i 53 00:02:23,650 --> 00:02:25,260 Were just looking at your wonderful painting. 54 00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:26,070 You like it? 55 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:28,740 I love it, especially how big and strong you made me look. 56 00:02:28,830 --> 00:02:31,240 That's not you. That's Jackson. 57 00:02:31,350 --> 00:02:33,660 See the paintbrush in his pocket? 58 00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:38,040 Oh, who's Jackson? 59 00:02:39,710 --> 00:02:41,180 He paints our house... 60 00:02:41,340 --> 00:02:44,640 Until my mom makes him drink wine and have a sleepover. 61 00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:48,710 Because... 62 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:51,830 Mike and I are divorced, so that's why... 63 00:02:53,850 --> 00:02:55,940 It was supposed to be a picture of the family, 64 00:02:55,950 --> 00:02:57,980 So you should've put your daddy in it. 65 00:02:58,170 --> 00:02:59,300 Did. 66 00:03:06,210 --> 00:03:08,720 Oh, the... The bug with the little hat? 67 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:09,910 That's you, 68 00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:11,750 'cause you're Always so far away. 69 00:03:13,510 --> 00:03:15,330 Oh, yeah, that's, um... 70 00:03:15,790 --> 00:03:16,990 Now I see me. 71 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:21,040 Yes... Every year, 72 00:03:21,050 --> 00:03:23,830 Ms. Elenora BuTTers would ask her class 73 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,230 To draw a picture of their families, 74 00:03:26,510 --> 00:03:29,240 Even though she knew the portraits... 75 00:03:29,830 --> 00:03:32,500 Might not be that flattering. 76 00:03:46,230 --> 00:03:49,820 If you look closely into the faces of your friends, 77 00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:51,130 You'll see it. 78 00:03:54,310 --> 00:03:55,420 Congratulations! Hi! 79 00:03:55,450 --> 00:03:56,390 Come on in! 80 00:03:56,490 --> 00:03:58,410 Right behind their smiles, 81 00:03:58,420 --> 00:04:01,670 You will see a certain Green-eyed monster, 82 00:04:02,700 --> 00:04:04,620 And then you'll understand 83 00:04:04,890 --> 00:04:07,810 How envious they are of your well-kept home... 84 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:11,130 Your delious recipes... 85 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:15,360 And yourasteful ssessions. 86 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:18,940 Here's my cookbook. 87 00:04:19,570 --> 00:04:22,450 But you'll have to work hard to see the jealousy, 88 00:04:23,410 --> 00:04:26,590 Because good friends Always work hard 89 00:04:26,910 --> 00:04:28,200 To hide it. 90 00:04:30,310 --> 00:04:32,820 Look at you, right on the cover! 91 00:04:33,810 --> 00:04:35,510 These are advanced copies. 92 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:37,350 I wanted you to be the first to have them. 93 00:04:37,750 --> 00:04:39,930 Oh, and look, you signed it-- "to Lynette, 94 00:04:39,940 --> 00:04:42,690 The sweetest, most wonderful friend I've ever known." 95 00:04:43,860 --> 00:04:45,840 "to Susan, the sweetest, most--" 96 00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:47,980 We don't have to read them out Loud. 97 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:49,790 Don't mind me, ladies. 98 00:04:49,800 --> 00:04:51,620 I'm just grabbing a kiss on my way to the 99 00:04:51,630 --> 00:04:53,670 Salt mines. Mmm. Oh. Mmm. You have a good day 100 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:55,160 Thanks, babe. Oh, did you show thethe 101 00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:57,910 Ad? Yeah. Oh, I Almost forgot. Uh, bye 102 00:04:58,270 --> 00:04:59,560 Isn't this nice? 103 00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:01,860 They're running it next month in "woman's day." 104 00:05:02,050 --> 00:05:04,060 You're gonna be in magazines, too? 105 00:05:04,510 --> 00:05:07,080 They've come up with this whole Marketing plan-- 106 00:05:07,090 --> 00:05:09,500 Radio, print, book signings. 107 00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:12,840 Wow! Isn't it fantastic? No, it's horrible! 108 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:14,660 She's gonna become this famous author 109 00:05:14,670 --> 00:05:16,140 And have no Time at All for us. 110 00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,730 No, come on, Gaby. You know that Bree 111 00:05:17,740 --> 00:05:19,950 Will never change. Thank you, Katherine 112 00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:22,170 I will never become Stuck-up and full of myself. 113 00:05:22,180 --> 00:05:24,640 I didn't say that. I said you'd never change. 114 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:26,950 Very funny. 115 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,350 I hardly think you have to worry about me becoming famous. 116 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,090 You have a Marketing plan. 117 00:05:31,330 --> 00:05:32,870 You wanna see my Marketing plan? 118 00:05:35,130 --> 00:05:37,790 "milk, bread, vodka, condoms--" 119 00:05:40,150 --> 00:05:42,380 Could I see that? I'd love to read it. Why? 120 00:05:42,390 --> 00:05:45,430 Well, back before I consecrated my life to mozzarella, 121 00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:47,210 Marketing was sort of what I did. 122 00:05:47,290 --> 00:05:49,290 Oh, right! Of course. 123 00:05:49,370 --> 00:05:51,960 I would, uh, love to hear your thoughts. 124 00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:53,130 So you're still gonna 125 00:05:53,140 --> 00:05:55,560 Wanna hang out with us, even when you're totally fabulous, 126 00:05:55,570 --> 00:05:57,120 And we're still nobodies? 127 00:05:57,130 --> 00:05:59,700 Girls, you are making way too much of this. 128 00:05:59,710 --> 00:06:03,080 I am not a bit more fabulous than any one of you. 129 00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:04,180 Excuse me. 130 00:06:05,290 --> 00:06:08,540 What is it, Andrew? I hope you're free for lunch on the 12th, 131 00:06:08,550 --> 00:06:10,130 'cause the chamber of commerce 132 00:06:10,140 --> 00:06:12,270 Just named you businesswoman of the year. 133 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,200 Oh, my god! That is so amazing! 134 00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:23,430 The, uh, dry cleaner just, um... 135 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:24,900 Found my sweater. 136 00:06:28,410 --> 00:06:30,410 Girls, catch up with you later! 137 00:06:37,390 --> 00:06:39,280 Orson, I have amazing news. 138 00:06:39,290 --> 00:06:42,040 The chamber of commerce just called. Oh? What about? 139 00:06:42,050 --> 00:06:43,700 I wanna buy you lunch and tell you in person. 140 00:06:43,710 --> 00:06:45,880 I will be at your office in two minutes. 141 00:06:45,990 --> 00:06:48,680 Uh, no! No, don't come to my office. 142 00:06:49,290 --> 00:06:51,870 You know, I can't have lunch now. Um, I'm in a meeting. 143 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:54,390 Well, I'll wait in reception until it's over. 144 00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:56,180 No, it'll take hours. 145 00:06:56,190 --> 00:06:58,590 It's a very urgent, high-level Stuff. 146 00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:06,400 What kind of meeting is it? 147 00:07:06,600 --> 00:07:07,940 George, hey! 148 00:07:08,470 --> 00:07:09,980 Turn that radio down! 149 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,230 Where are you? I told you, I'm in a meeting. 150 00:07:16,590 --> 00:07:17,520 I gotta go. 151 00:07:17,530 --> 00:07:18,600 I'll see you soon. 152 00:07:21,370 --> 00:07:22,610 Yes, you will. 153 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,600 Mike! What's going on? 154 00:07:30,790 --> 00:07:32,370 Daddy got me a bike. 155 00:07:32,380 --> 00:07:34,310 Yes, I see. And here, 156 00:07:34,320 --> 00:07:36,580 Mommy thought we'd agreed to wait till your birthday. 157 00:07:36,590 --> 00:07:39,800 Crazy mommy. Can you teach me to ride it? 158 00:07:39,810 --> 00:07:42,200 No, not today. I gotta go install a water heater. 159 00:07:42,410 --> 00:07:43,930 But, uh, you keep practicing, 160 00:07:43,940 --> 00:07:46,000 And the next afternoon I have free, we'll bust off 161 00:07:46,010 --> 00:07:49,320 Those training wheels and go kick up some dirt. Okay? Okay. 162 00:07:49,330 --> 00:07:50,230 All right. 163 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:53,010 Oh, my god. 164 00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:56,260 This is about m.J.'s drawing, isn't it? 165 00:07:56,380 --> 00:07:57,120 Wh? 166 00:07:57,130 --> 00:07:59,510 He does not love Jackson more than you. 167 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:02,740 He knows who his father is. I know that. 168 00:08:02,920 --> 00:08:06,080 Can't a guy get his kid a bike without being psychoanalyzed? 169 00:08:06,380 --> 00:08:08,530 So you're totally fine with that drawing? 170 00:08:08,540 --> 00:08:11,100 Well, I won't go sticking it on my fridge anytime soon, 171 00:08:11,110 --> 00:08:12,170 But yeah. 172 00:08:13,420 --> 00:08:15,460 Look, I'm glad you're dating a nice guy. 173 00:08:15,470 --> 00:08:17,560 I'm glad he likes my kid, and my kid likes him. 174 00:08:17,570 --> 00:08:19,890 Here's a bike. That's All it is. 175 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:23,090 Hey, guys. 176 00:08:24,370 --> 00:08:26,940 Jackson, look at my new bike! 177 00:08:27,850 --> 00:08:28,900 Pretty cool. 178 00:08:31,350 --> 00:08:34,140 Uh, that's a custom titanium frame. 179 00:08:34,510 --> 00:08:36,020 Make sure m.J.Nows that. 180 00:08:39,030 --> 00:08:40,990 So, Wendy, I gotta know about the weather. 181 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,630 Mommy, can Bethany go home now? 182 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:45,390 Honey, she's only been here 20 minutes. 183 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,420 We invited her over to play, so go play. 184 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:49,290 But All she does is spin. 185 00:08:49,290 --> 00:08:51,010 ...Somewhat across the reach of the state, 186 00:08:51,020 --> 00:08:53,580 Knocking temperatures down I would say a few degrees... 187 00:08:54,330 --> 00:08:56,590 Honey, we want Bethany to be our friend, 188 00:08:56,600 --> 00:08:59,430 So if she wants to spin, just suck it up and spin. 189 00:09:02,980 --> 00:09:05,450 Why are you shoving that little weirdo down Juanita's throat? 190 00:09:05,690 --> 00:09:08,720 That little weirdo is the key to you and I having more sex. 191 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:13,270 I know I should ask a few questions, but I'm in. 192 00:09:13,730 --> 00:09:15,680 Bethany's mom hosts a weekly playdate. 193 00:09:15,690 --> 00:09:17,380 I'm trying to get Juanita an invitation. 194 00:09:18,180 --> 00:09:21,180 How does that lead to quality Time with your boobs? 195 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,920 Carlos, the only Time you and I have to ourselves 196 00:09:23,930 --> 00:09:27,050 Is late at night, but by that Time, we're too exhausted. 197 00:09:27,070 --> 00:09:29,380 And now that we have Celia in afternoon preschool, 198 00:09:29,390 --> 00:09:32,060 All we have to do is unload Juanita, 199 00:09:32,070 --> 00:09:34,320 And then we can get back to doing the nasty. 200 00:09:34,780 --> 00:09:36,650 This doesn't seem right. 201 00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:39,000 I mean, dumping our kid off on some unsuspecting woman 202 00:09:39,010 --> 00:09:40,560 So that we can have sex? 203 00:09:40,570 --> 00:09:42,760 Wake up! Playdates were invented by mothers 204 00:09:42,770 --> 00:09:44,180 For this exact purpose. 205 00:09:44,330 --> 00:09:47,320 Shopping, sex, drinking in the afternoon-- 206 00:09:47,330 --> 00:09:49,030 Playdates make All these things possible. 207 00:09:49,970 --> 00:09:51,060 I-i don't know. 208 00:09:51,170 --> 00:09:53,640 I feel bad making my kid playing with someone 209 00:09:53,650 --> 00:09:56,060 That she obviously doesn't like. 210 00:09:56,210 --> 00:09:59,240 Bethany's mom will take Juanita once a week for two whole hours. 211 00:09:59,250 --> 00:10:00,760 That is sex and a nap. 212 00:10:03,630 --> 00:10:04,950 Juanita! 213 00:10:05,190 --> 00:10:06,990 I don't hear you spinning! 214 00:10:08,310 --> 00:10:11,470 I don't understand. You said the job was going so well. 215 00:10:11,730 --> 00:10:13,570 It was. Then three weeks ago, 216 00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:16,260 My parole officer left me a message at work. 217 00:10:16,470 --> 00:10:18,840 That's when they found out I lied on my application 218 00:10:18,850 --> 00:10:20,850 When I said I didn't have a criminal record. 219 00:10:21,170 --> 00:10:24,350 So you've been pretending to go to work for three weeks? 220 00:10:24,990 --> 00:10:26,070 I know you're angry. 221 00:10:26,170 --> 00:10:27,220 Honey... 222 00:10:27,870 --> 00:10:29,420 I'm not angry. 223 00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:33,260 I'm hurt that you didn't feel like you could tell me. 224 00:10:33,690 --> 00:10:34,890 I was embarrassed. 225 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:38,620 Bree, when we married, I was the breadwinner. 226 00:10:39,070 --> 00:10:41,690 Now you--you have your company and you have your book. 227 00:10:41,700 --> 00:10:43,850 I-i'm a felon who can't hold on to a job. 228 00:10:44,830 --> 00:10:48,210 Orson, we're partners. We share everything. 229 00:10:48,220 --> 00:10:49,410 Any success I have 230 00:10:49,420 --> 00:10:51,560 Is just as much yours as it is mine. 231 00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:55,660 Thank you, darling. 232 00:10:58,990 --> 00:10:59,800 So... 233 00:10:59,810 --> 00:11:01,530 Why did the chamr of commerce call? 234 00:11:04,140 --> 00:11:07,020 Apparently, we've been named businesswoman of the year. 235 00:11:19,250 --> 00:11:20,770 Is that good enough?! 236 00:11:29,370 --> 00:11:31,960 Wow! You'd be killer in our band. 237 00:11:32,110 --> 00:11:34,050 I mean, wouldn't he be killer, Dave? Uh, 238 00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:35,570 Donald, why don't you let us talk it over 239 00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:37,110 And we'll get back to you? No problem. 240 00:11:37,120 --> 00:11:38,490 I have to get back to the office anyway. 241 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:40,710 Quarterly tax Time has got me swamped. 242 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,040 Well, we'll--we'll definitely call you today 243 00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:44,120 Thanks, gentlemen. 244 00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,440 Don't you think he crushed it? 245 00:11:48,450 --> 00:11:50,440 He was good... You know, technically. 246 00:11:51,660 --> 00:11:54,240 He didn't really have heart. What do you mean? 247 00:11:54,250 --> 00:11:57,230 When he played "voodoo child," it was like Hendrix has risen. 248 00:11:57,250 --> 00:12:01,350 Hey, what about Mike? I thought that's who we were gonna get. 249 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:03,790 Well, I asked, but he said he's too busy. 250 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:06,550 Too busy to live a little? Not gonna fly. 251 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:07,910 Call him. Give him my number. 252 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,820 I'll talk to him. Okay, sure. But--but what about Donald 253 00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:12,510 I mean, 'cause if we don't get Mike, I wanna make s-- 254 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:14,470 Tom, Donald's out, all right? 255 00:12:17,970 --> 00:12:19,000 Have Mike call me. 256 00:12:30,630 --> 00:12:32,040 What a rehearsal. 257 00:12:32,330 --> 00:12:35,430 Dave and I were smokin'. 258 00:12:36,270 --> 00:12:37,470 Did you hear us? 259 00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:38,850 Lynette? 260 00:12:41,450 --> 00:12:42,430 Lynette. 261 00:12:42,890 --> 00:12:44,190 I'm sorry. What? 262 00:12:45,070 --> 00:12:46,080 Never mind. 263 00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:49,550 What are you working on? What, is this Bree's ad Stuff? 264 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,680 Oh, god, no. Her agency really whiffed... Hmm? 265 00:12:51,690 --> 00:12:53,920 So I'm coming up with a whole new campaign. 266 00:12:53,970 --> 00:12:55,710 I was looking through my old portfolio 267 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,430 For inspiration. Mm-hmm. 268 00:12:57,690 --> 00:12:59,230 Oh! I remember this one. 269 00:12:59,290 --> 00:13:02,600 "feet? Meet your new best friends." it was a classic. 270 00:13:02,980 --> 00:13:05,270 You know, it been years since I looked through this Stuff. 271 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:08,270 I'd forgotten I was... Kinda great. 272 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:10,250 You were awesome! 273 00:13:10,260 --> 00:13:11,710 I mean, come on. How lucky is Bree 274 00:13:11,720 --> 00:13:13,960 To have a neighbor that used to be a big advertising hotshot? 275 00:13:13,970 --> 00:13:15,530 Well, Maybe I'm the lucky one. 276 00:13:15,540 --> 00:13:17,110 This could be a perfect way for me 277 00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,340 To stick my toe back in the business. 278 00:13:21,590 --> 00:13:24,570 Nothing big, Maybe just pick up some freelance work. 279 00:13:24,580 --> 00:13:26,760 But, honey, if you do that, where you gonna find the Time 280 00:13:26,770 --> 00:13:30,430 For the family and the restaurant? Well, gee, I don't know. 281 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:33,580 I gus the same place that you find Time for your garage band. 282 00:13:34,100 --> 00:13:36,360 Lynette, I'm just saying that if--if you... 283 00:13:43,770 --> 00:13:46,370 Okay, I dropped off Celia at preschool, 284 00:13:46,380 --> 00:13:47,710 And Juanita's at her playdate. 285 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:48,730 Drop trou. 286 00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:51,370 Why don't you put on that sexy red Teddy? 287 00:13:51,410 --> 00:13:54,240 Can I ask why? I mean, you can't see it. 288 00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,620 Yeah, but I can feel it, 289 00:13:55,620 --> 00:13:58,430 And I love the sensation of sliding silk off your body. 290 00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:05,360 What's it like, Carlos? 291 00:14:06,190 --> 00:14:07,100 What? 292 00:14:07,210 --> 00:14:08,950 Sex as a blind man. 293 00:14:09,310 --> 00:14:11,870 I mean, you used to be so visual. 294 00:14:12,250 --> 00:14:13,830 Is it still as good? 295 00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:14,960 Oh, it's better. 296 00:14:14,970 --> 00:14:16,040 I mean, having to rely on 297 00:14:16,050 --> 00:14:18,620 Your senses of touch and taste and smell... 298 00:14:18,630 --> 00:14:20,200 It's actually way more intense. 299 00:14:21,470 --> 00:14:24,400 Really? You're so lucky. 300 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,020 What, you want blind sex? 301 00:14:27,380 --> 00:14:28,620 I think I can arrange that. 302 00:14:33,010 --> 00:14:33,950 Hey there. 303 00:14:36,770 --> 00:14:39,160 Looks like somebody's job interview went well. 304 00:14:39,170 --> 00:14:41,110 Nope. They turned me down flat. 305 00:14:41,120 --> 00:14:43,790 Aw. But as I was driving home, it suddenly hit me. 306 00:14:43,990 --> 00:14:47,200 I May be persona non grata at every company in this town, 307 00:14:47,210 --> 00:14:49,290 But there's at least one employer I know 308 00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:50,360 Who would love to hire me. 309 00:14:50,370 --> 00:14:51,690 Oh. Who? 310 00:14:54,010 --> 00:14:54,960 You. 311 00:14:56,660 --> 00:14:57,900 You wanna work here? 312 00:14:59,220 --> 00:15:00,170 Why not? 313 00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:03,000 I'm great with food. I understand business. 314 00:15:03,010 --> 00:15:04,510 I can't beat the commute. 315 00:15:05,390 --> 00:15:08,480 Well, that's certainly an intriguing notion. 316 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:11,170 But wouldn't it be awkward having me as your boss? 317 00:15:11,180 --> 00:15:12,400 Absolutely. 318 00:15:13,110 --> 00:15:14,630 But as you said in the park, 319 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:16,470 We share everything. 320 00:15:16,570 --> 00:15:18,850 So I would be more of a... Partner. 321 00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:20,910 Partners? Oh. 322 00:15:21,130 --> 00:15:24,380 Well-- Bree, would you give me a hand with this arrangement? 323 00:15:25,030 --> 00:15:26,240 Just give me a sec. 324 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:31,060 I think the lilies need their own vase. 325 00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:32,280 If you hire him, 326 00:15:32,290 --> 00:15:33,860 I will cut you with these scissors! 327 00:15:34,050 --> 00:15:35,770 I don't think we need to do that. 328 00:15:36,330 --> 00:15:38,710 I think they're crowding the irises out. 329 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:40,920 Just like he's trying to crowd me out. 330 00:15:40,930 --> 00:15:42,870 You Already have a partner, remember? 331 00:15:43,060 --> 00:15:45,600 Oh, well, I think the irises and the lilies 332 00:15:45,610 --> 00:15:49,090 Could work together. Nope. One of them has to go. 333 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:53,360 If I May offer an opinion-- not a good Time, Orson. 334 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:55,800 Tell him now, 335 00:15:55,810 --> 00:15:57,110 Or I will walk. 336 00:16:00,450 --> 00:16:02,560 Orson, you really don't wanna work with me. 337 00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:03,950 I mean, you only see me at home. 338 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,590 But at work, when the pressure's on, I can be a bit of a handful. 339 00:16:06,790 --> 00:16:11,260 Kathine's seen how I get. Oh, yes. Bitchy, Tyrannical, shrill-- 340 00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:13,030 He gets it, dear. 341 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,210 Honey, you're my partner in life. 342 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:19,840 But if we want to keep it that way, 343 00:16:19,850 --> 00:16:22,100 We shouldn't mix marriage and business. 344 00:16:22,580 --> 00:16:24,010 But no one else will hire me 345 00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:26,390 Well, you've only been looking for a few weeks. 346 00:16:26,400 --> 00:16:29,230 I mean, give it another... Say, month or two, 347 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:30,760 And you still haven't found anything, 348 00:16:30,770 --> 00:16:33,830 Then we'll revisit the idea. Okay? 349 00:16:35,450 --> 00:16:37,010 Okay. 350 00:16:37,650 --> 00:16:38,960 It was just a thought. 351 00:16:48,970 --> 00:16:50,390 Oh, so what'd you think? 352 00:16:50,390 --> 00:16:52,230 Oh, my god, you were right. 353 00:16:52,820 --> 00:16:54,010 Blind sex is incredible. 354 00:16:54,020 --> 00:16:56,540 Ahh, give me ten more minutes and an energy bar, 355 00:16:56,550 --> 00:16:57,860 And we can go one more Time. 356 00:17:06,290 --> 00:17:07,520 No, I think we're done. 357 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:11,030 Honey! 358 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:13,780 What are you doing home? I thought you were at Bethany's. 359 00:17:13,790 --> 00:17:15,890 I got a tummyache. Her mom brought me back. 360 00:17:17,710 --> 00:17:19,500 Well, how long have you been Standing there? 361 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:22,540 I don't know. What were you two doing? 362 00:17:23,740 --> 00:17:25,210 Um, we were, uh... 363 00:17:25,220 --> 00:17:27,430 We were wrestling. Wrestling. 364 00:17:28,360 --> 00:17:31,550 Did daddy hurt you? You were making Loud noises. 365 00:17:31,710 --> 00:17:34,200 No! No, that wasn't real. 366 00:17:34,630 --> 00:17:36,960 Sometimes I fake it when I wrestle with daddy. 367 00:17:39,220 --> 00:17:41,170 Please don't wrestle th mommy. 368 00:17:41,180 --> 00:17:43,580 You're too big. You could hurt her. 369 00:17:43,590 --> 00:17:45,360 Yeah, Carlos, stop that. 370 00:17:45,890 --> 00:17:47,590 Okay, go to your room, 371 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,540 And I'm gonna bring you something for your tummy. 372 00:17:53,590 --> 00:17:54,530 I think she bought it. 373 00:17:54,540 --> 00:17:56,870 You mean the story of how daddy beats up mommy? 374 00:17:56,880 --> 00:18:00,560 Relax. I told her I was fine. Look, I could hear the worry in her voice. 375 00:18:00,570 --> 00:18:02,010 Why don't we just tell her the truth? 376 00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:04,550 What, that sometimes mommy rides daddy 377 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:06,450 Like a mechanical bull to get jewelry? 378 00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:08,070 She's 5. She's too young to understand 379 00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:10,120 Either half of that. It's the facts of life 380 00:18:10,130 --> 00:18:11,410 She's gonna learn 'em eventually, 381 00:18:11,420 --> 00:18:13,420 And it's the most natural thing in the world. 382 00:18:13,750 --> 00:18:15,300 Carlos, if she was Standing there 383 00:18:15,310 --> 00:18:16,960 Any longer than five minutes, 384 00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:19,090 There was nothing natural about what she saw. 385 00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:22,090 By the way, thank you for that. 386 00:18:28,380 --> 00:18:29,150 Hello? 387 00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:30,820 Hey, it's me. Listen, 388 00:18:31,090 --> 00:18:32,390 I've got some free Time, 389 00:18:32,450 --> 00:18:33,420 So I thought I'd come over 390 00:18:33,430 --> 00:18:37,000 And teach m.J. How to ride his new bike. Great. He's so excited to learn. 391 00:18:37,910 --> 00:18:40,810 Are you sure he's ready to go without training wheels? 392 00:18:40,820 --> 00:18:42,460 Oh, he'll probably have to take a few spills, 393 00:18:42,470 --> 00:18:44,980 But luckily, he'll have his old man there to pick him up. 394 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:47,690 Yeah. He's been asking when you're coming. 395 00:18:47,690 --> 00:18:50,500 I can't wait to tell him. I know he'll be just... 396 00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:52,650 All right! 397 00:18:54,110 --> 00:18:55,010 What's the Matter? 398 00:18:55,020 --> 00:18:57,870 Spider. Big one. Gotta go! 399 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:03,020 Mommy, look, no traing wheels. 400 00:19:03,030 --> 00:19:05,160 I know! You did great! 401 00:19:05,170 --> 00:19:07,060 Jackson, can I see you a sec? 402 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,950 That was amazing! He learned so fast. 403 00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:12,300 Yeah. You know what I learned? Mike is on his way over here 404 00:19:12,310 --> 00:19:15,090 To teach his son how to ride the bike he bought-- 405 00:19:15,100 --> 00:19:17,880 Something he was looking forward to until you ruined it. 406 00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:19,510 W-why didn't you tell me that? I didn't know 407 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:22,200 I had to tell you not to steal a father's precious moment. 408 00:19:22,210 --> 00:19:24,090 M.J.--he just kept asking me. 409 00:19:24,210 --> 00:19:26,350 He--he made me do it. You could've walked away 410 00:19:26,360 --> 00:19:27,400 No, I couldn't! 411 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:29,600 He said, "pwease!" 412 00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:31,440 Damn it. 413 00:19:32,530 --> 00:19:34,670 As you can see, the graphic works just as well 414 00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:38,630 On a free-standing display unit. Neat, huh? 415 00:19:38,890 --> 00:19:40,000 Goodness, Lynette. 416 00:19:40,010 --> 00:19:41,960 When you offered to share your thoughts on my campaign, 417 00:19:41,970 --> 00:19:44,880 I wasn't expecting anything quite so... Elaborate. 418 00:19:44,890 --> 00:19:47,670 Well, who knew your Marketing guys were such lame-os? 419 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:49,550 What they came up with is so... 420 00:19:50,770 --> 00:19:51,730 Tepid. 421 00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:56,120 Um, I think "understated" was what they were going for. 422 00:19:56,130 --> 00:19:59,110 Well, they overshot and wound up in "bland," 423 00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:00,520 Right on the border of "sucky." 424 00:20:00,530 --> 00:20:03,640 You need to grab your audience, just grab 'em. 425 00:20:03,650 --> 00:20:05,450 I've gone for jazzier colors, 426 00:20:05,460 --> 00:20:06,770 Bolder fonts. 427 00:20:06,780 --> 00:20:09,780 Oh, I have really played up the whole nostalgia angle. 428 00:20:11,380 --> 00:20:12,680 "let mrs. Van de kamp 429 00:20:12,690 --> 00:20:15,000 Turn your oven into a Time machine." 430 00:20:15,070 --> 00:20:17,450 I see women really responding to that. 431 00:20:18,650 --> 00:20:19,720 Do you? 432 00:20:20,410 --> 00:20:22,840 Because I see children 433 00:20:22,850 --> 00:20:25,930 Crawling into ovens, hoping to see dinosaurs. 434 00:20:27,610 --> 00:20:29,040 Okay. Well... 435 00:20:29,220 --> 00:20:31,060 I've got a whole bunch of Alternatives. 436 00:20:31,070 --> 00:20:33,640 Oh, Lynette, I appreciate everything you've done. 437 00:20:33,650 --> 00:20:35,530 But I've actually approved the old campaign, 438 00:20:35,540 --> 00:20:37,920 And I can't just tell them I've changed my mind. 439 00:20:38,340 --> 00:20:39,960 You don't have to. I'll be the bad guy. 440 00:20:39,970 --> 00:20:41,200 Just tell 'em you've hired me, 441 00:20:41,210 --> 00:20:43,410 And I'll go in there, six-guns ablazing. 442 00:20:45,100 --> 00:20:47,340 So... Do we have a deal? 443 00:20:47,390 --> 00:20:48,570 Just give me the word. 444 00:20:50,180 --> 00:20:51,090 No. 445 00:20:51,580 --> 00:20:52,280 No? 446 00:20:52,290 --> 00:20:55,000 Sorry, but I prefer their campaign. 447 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:57,170 But mine is better. 448 00:20:57,230 --> 00:21:01,200 Well, you're... Entitled to think so, but I don't. 449 00:21:02,020 --> 00:21:03,710 Look, Bree... 450 00:21:04,310 --> 00:21:07,320 I think I know a little more about Marketing than you do. 451 00:21:07,330 --> 00:21:09,340 When I was in it, I owned this town. 452 00:21:09,350 --> 00:21:11,650 I had every big account. 453 00:21:11,660 --> 00:21:14,840 Hell, I was even named businesswoman of the year. 454 00:21:15,030 --> 00:21:17,650 Oh. Well, I'm familiar with that award. 455 00:21:18,070 --> 00:21:20,080 In fact, I'm this year's recipient. 456 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:22,880 Really? Yes. 457 00:21:22,890 --> 00:21:26,330 There's a luncheon on the 12th. I do hope you can make it. Oh. 458 00:21:28,770 --> 00:21:29,610 By the way, 459 00:21:29,620 --> 00:21:31,170 You're right about those colors. 460 00:21:31,300 --> 00:21:33,180 Very... Jazzy. 461 00:21:41,380 --> 00:21:43,330 Come on, m.J. Your daddy's waiting. 462 00:21:49,750 --> 00:21:52,050 Mommy, I don't wanna fall. 463 00:21:52,420 --> 00:21:54,020 Oh, honey. 464 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,110 You know how you like to push the button 465 00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:57,320 When we go on the elevator, 466 00:21:57,330 --> 00:21:58,550 And if somebody else pushes it first, 467 00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:01,660 It makes you sad? But I don't wanna fall 468 00:22:01,670 --> 00:22:04,590 Just listen. Daddy really wanted to be the one 469 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:07,290 To teach you to ride your bike, and if you can Already do it, 470 00:22:07,540 --> 00:22:09,100 It's gonna make him sad. 471 00:22:09,330 --> 00:22:12,100 So just let daddy push the button. Understand? 472 00:22:12,440 --> 00:22:14,360 Oh, man. 473 00:22:23,090 --> 00:22:24,860 Wow, he's really picking it up fast. 474 00:22:25,220 --> 00:22:28,450 Yeah. I think it's just beginner's luck. Uh-huh. 475 00:22:31,660 --> 00:22:33,090 Are you sure he hasn't been practicing? 476 00:22:33,100 --> 00:22:34,950 No. He was absolutely waiting for you 477 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:36,810 You know, I think I'm gonna go check his helmet. 478 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:40,840 What are you doing? We talked about this. 479 00:22:40,850 --> 00:22:43,980 You're supposed to be new at it. I don't want to fall. I'm scared. 480 00:22:43,990 --> 00:22:47,290 Oh! Of what? You're 3 inches off the ground. 481 00:22:47,340 --> 00:22:50,570 You're completely padded. So just do what I say-- 482 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,380 Wobble, wobble. "daddy, look at me!" crash. 483 00:22:57,590 --> 00:22:58,640 Boy... 484 00:22:58,740 --> 00:22:59,590 He was just telling me 485 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:02,850 How glad he is to have his dad here. Really? 486 00:23:03,030 --> 00:23:06,940 'cause I Almost feel like he doesn't even need me. Oh, that's just silly. 487 00:23:22,370 --> 00:23:25,640 Whoops-a-daisy! Oh, it's a good thing your dad's here 488 00:23:25,650 --> 00:23:28,710 To teach you how to do it right. Oh, looking good, buddy, but remember, 489 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,280 When you stop, you gotta put your foot down first. 490 00:23:31,290 --> 00:23:33,250 Okay? Ow! 491 00:23:33,260 --> 00:23:36,020 Oh, what, does that hurt right there, buddy? Oh, he's fine. 492 00:23:36,420 --> 00:23:38,500 No, mommy. It hurts. 493 00:23:44,190 --> 00:23:46,790 This is All my fault. Oh, will you stop? 494 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:48,430 The doctor said it was just a sprain. 495 00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,530 I know, but still, I shouldn't have pushed it. 496 00:23:50,540 --> 00:23:53,400 You know, why look for blame? Kids fall. 497 00:23:53,410 --> 00:23:54,780 If you have to find fault, 498 00:23:54,790 --> 00:23:56,950 Blame the pavement, not yourself... 499 00:23:57,360 --> 00:23:58,430 Or me. 500 00:24:00,370 --> 00:24:01,590 Mommy! 501 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:05,280 He should have his pitching arm back in no Time. 502 00:24:05,290 --> 00:24:09,600 Oh, thank you. But I did wanna ask--m.J. Said that he fell on purpose, 503 00:24:09,610 --> 00:24:11,040 Something about you telling him 504 00:24:11,050 --> 00:24:13,160 To "let daddy push the elevator button"? 505 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:18,530 You told him to fall? 506 00:24:19,260 --> 00:24:21,410 Remember, it's the pavement you're mad at. 507 00:24:21,420 --> 00:24:23,640 What the hell, Susan? Why would you do something like that? 508 00:24:24,830 --> 00:24:26,810 Jason taught him to ride the bike. 509 00:24:27,630 --> 00:24:28,820 Jackson. 510 00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:30,210 Who's Jackson? 511 00:24:30,290 --> 00:24:32,720 He does sleepovers with mommy. 512 00:24:32,730 --> 00:24:34,470 They drink lots of wine. 513 00:24:35,910 --> 00:24:39,420 Hey, doc. Uh, don't you hand out lollipops to brave little boys? 514 00:24:43,910 --> 00:24:46,850 I'm sorry. M.J. Was excited about the bike, 515 00:24:46,860 --> 00:24:48,880 So Jackson took off the training wheels 516 00:24:48,890 --> 00:24:50,450 And taught him. He didn't know. 517 00:24:50,460 --> 00:24:51,950 He didn't know I'd wanna be the one 518 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,460 To teach my own kid how to ride a bike? Okay, you know what? 519 00:24:56,210 --> 00:24:58,060 This is not Jackson's fault. 520 00:24:58,070 --> 00:24:59,970 You can't give a 5-year-old a bike 521 00:24:59,980 --> 00:25:03,140 And expect him to wait to ride it until you have Time. 522 00:25:05,990 --> 00:25:08,180 You know, this is what it means to be divorced. 523 00:25:08,660 --> 00:25:11,180 It means that sometimes you won't be there. 524 00:25:12,580 --> 00:25:13,690 I know. 525 00:25:14,150 --> 00:25:15,290 It's... 526 00:25:19,300 --> 00:25:20,490 Just harder 527 00:25:20,500 --> 00:25:21,950 Than I thought it would be. 528 00:25:23,930 --> 00:25:25,540 Well, it's hard for me, too. 529 00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:28,050 I miss things when he's with you. 530 00:25:28,860 --> 00:25:29,970 And i... 531 00:25:30,970 --> 00:25:34,360 Am trying to come to terms with my guilt, because... 532 00:25:36,510 --> 00:25:37,570 I have to. 533 00:25:39,320 --> 00:25:40,330 So do you. 534 00:25:43,850 --> 00:25:45,550 There's nothing else you can do. 535 00:25:54,030 --> 00:25:55,110 Has Mike called? 536 00:25:56,420 --> 00:25:58,050 Hi, honey. You're home. 537 00:25:59,570 --> 00:26:00,740 Sorry, hon. 538 00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:04,960 So did he call? 539 00:26:05,500 --> 00:26:06,690 No. 540 00:26:07,660 --> 00:26:09,270 Hey, listen to this. 541 00:26:09,420 --> 00:26:11,640 Mrs. Hudson's putting her house up for sale. 542 00:26:11,650 --> 00:26:13,090 I think we should buy it. 543 00:26:13,870 --> 00:26:14,870 Why? 544 00:26:16,060 --> 00:26:18,810 As an investment. I-i mean, it's fantastic. 545 00:26:18,820 --> 00:26:21,060 My friend Mary Alice blew her brains out in this house, 546 00:26:21,070 --> 00:26:23,030 And All I'd have to do is let that slip, 547 00:26:23,040 --> 00:26:27,710 And we'd get it for a song. Yeah. I don't think so. 548 00:26:27,970 --> 00:26:29,410 Well, why not? We'll rent it out. 549 00:26:29,420 --> 00:26:33,110 We could make some serious money. Last thing I wanna be is a landlord, 550 00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:35,960 Get a phone call every Time a toilet overflows. 551 00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:39,260 That's why we hire a management company-- damn it, Edie, I said no! 552 00:26:47,090 --> 00:26:48,930 Why are you yelling at me? 553 00:26:51,450 --> 00:26:52,500 I don't know. 554 00:26:54,270 --> 00:26:56,330 I'm sorry. I just got a lot on my mind. 555 00:26:59,260 --> 00:27:00,230 I'm sorry. 556 00:27:33,790 --> 00:27:35,040 Hi, Bethany. 557 00:27:35,050 --> 00:27:37,200 I'm here to pick up Juanita. Is she around? 558 00:27:37,310 --> 00:27:38,990 Boys have sperm. 559 00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:41,240 Excuse me? 560 00:27:42,150 --> 00:27:43,510 We need to talk. 561 00:27:48,030 --> 00:27:50,520 So apparently, after we had our little chat with Juanita, 562 00:27:50,530 --> 00:27:51,610 She went straight to Bethany 563 00:27:51,620 --> 00:27:54,400 And passed on the facts of life in excruciating detail. 564 00:27:54,410 --> 00:27:56,180 Well, did you explain to Peggy why we had 565 00:27:56,190 --> 00:27:58,060 The little chat? She didn't wanna hear it 566 00:27:58,070 --> 00:27:59,680 Not with Bethany running around the house, 567 00:27:59,690 --> 00:28:02,240 Screaming "intercourse!" at the top of her lungs. 568 00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:06,460 So we're out of the playdate? Oh, yeah. Way out. 569 00:28:09,190 --> 00:28:11,370 Well, I guess it's back to the old schedule 570 00:28:11,380 --> 00:28:13,410 Of ten minutes of grope 'n snore at midnight. 571 00:28:13,420 --> 00:28:15,100 I'm not going back, Carlos. I can't. 572 00:28:15,110 --> 00:28:16,510 If Juanita doesn't get her playdate, 573 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:21,220 You're not getting yours. Fine. I will fix it. I just don't know why 574 00:28:21,230 --> 00:28:23,300 Peggy's making such a big deal out of this. 575 00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:24,860 Sperm! 576 00:28:27,200 --> 00:28:30,670 Juanita! Stop talking to your sister! 577 00:28:34,250 --> 00:28:36,520 Orson, what are you doing in the guest bedroom? 578 00:28:36,530 --> 00:28:38,010 Oh, I couldn't sleep. 579 00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:39,970 You were snoring too Loudly. 580 00:28:40,970 --> 00:28:42,520 Me? Snoring? 581 00:28:42,710 --> 00:28:45,530 Mm, like a donkey with a head cold. 582 00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:47,670 Honey, I don't snore. 583 00:28:47,680 --> 00:28:49,600 Oh, you can't Always hear yourself. 584 00:28:49,790 --> 00:28:50,930 But I hear you... 585 00:28:51,880 --> 00:28:53,020 Loud and clear. 586 00:28:55,640 --> 00:28:58,050 Oh, for heaven sakes, come back to bed. 587 00:28:58,990 --> 00:29:00,040 No. 588 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:02,630 I'm good here. 589 00:29:11,180 --> 00:29:12,280 Dave Williams 590 00:29:12,290 --> 00:29:13,740 Look, hate to bother you, 591 00:29:13,750 --> 00:29:15,930 But I got a busted pipe outside the house. 592 00:29:16,030 --> 00:29:18,360 Probably some kids playing a prank. No problem. 593 00:29:18,370 --> 00:29:19,960 I'm across town finishing up on another job. 594 00:29:19,970 --> 00:29:21,720 So depending on traffic, give me... 595 00:29:21,730 --> 00:29:24,450 Say an hour? Oh, thanks. I really appreciate it 596 00:29:39,130 --> 00:29:41,840 So when Juanita thought that I might be hurting her mother, 597 00:29:41,850 --> 00:29:44,460 We decided it was best that she knew the truth. 598 00:29:44,770 --> 00:29:47,200 It just seemed like the right thing to do at the Time. 599 00:29:47,850 --> 00:29:48,880 See, honey? 600 00:29:48,890 --> 00:29:51,670 I-i knew there had to be a rational explanation. 601 00:29:52,230 --> 00:29:53,180 Well... 602 00:29:53,370 --> 00:29:55,820 I guess under the circumstances, 603 00:29:55,830 --> 00:29:57,770 You didn't have y other choice. 604 00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:01,750 So... Do you think there's any chance 605 00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:05,050 Juanita could rejoin your playdate? We've talked to her. 606 00:30:05,060 --> 00:30:07,900 She will never discuss sex ever again. 607 00:30:07,910 --> 00:30:10,060 Not if she wants to see her favorite dolly Alive. 608 00:30:12,550 --> 00:30:14,070 Gaby, we don't need to let them know 609 00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:15,570 All of our parenting secrets. 610 00:30:15,810 --> 00:30:18,150 I... Think that'd be okay. 611 00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:20,320 I probably overreacted. 612 00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:23,340 We just wanna keep Bethany's innocence as long as we can. 613 00:30:23,350 --> 00:30:24,920 Oh, we totally agree. 614 00:30:24,930 --> 00:30:27,710 Kids are forced to grow up way too fast these days. No kidding. 615 00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:30,560 I want my girls to believe in santa claus as long as possible. 616 00:30:30,570 --> 00:30:33,060 They're gonna find out soon enough that it's All a lie. 617 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:35,000 What? 618 00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:38,210 There's no santa claus?! 619 00:30:45,490 --> 00:30:46,640 So... 620 00:30:46,810 --> 00:30:48,560 Next playdate's monday at 1:00? 621 00:30:50,230 --> 00:30:52,130 Wow, whoever did this really went to town. 622 00:30:52,170 --> 00:30:54,570 Yeah, I know. Damn kids. 623 00:30:55,250 --> 00:30:56,130 By the way, 624 00:30:56,140 --> 00:30:58,040 Did you put any more thought into joining the band? 625 00:30:58,050 --> 00:31:00,140 Oh, man. I'm sorry. I've been meaning to get back to you. 626 00:31:00,150 --> 00:31:01,160 I appreciate the offer, 627 00:31:01,170 --> 00:31:03,090 But I'm really stretched thin these days. 628 00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:06,250 Oh, come on. Every man's got Time for a little music. 629 00:31:06,260 --> 00:31:08,120 Believe me, I'd love to play with you guys, 630 00:31:08,130 --> 00:31:10,900 But, uh, I live 30 minutes away--an hour in traffic. 631 00:31:11,100 --> 00:31:13,850 Whatever Time I've got left's for my son. Yeah, I hear ya. 632 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:16,940 Hey, you ever look into living a little closer by? 633 00:31:17,110 --> 00:31:18,920 With the rent prices in this neighborhood? 634 00:31:19,100 --> 00:31:21,030 I might play guitar like a rock star, 635 00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:24,200 But I don't earn like one. Yeah. Sorry. 636 00:31:24,420 --> 00:31:26,360 I wasn't thinking. Oh, it's All right. 637 00:31:27,250 --> 00:31:28,650 Uh, appreciate you trying to help. 638 00:31:30,430 --> 00:31:32,980 Believe me, I wish I could do more. 639 00:31:39,130 --> 00:31:41,790 I've never seen Bree so happy. She's glowing. 640 00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:46,110 She won't be glowing when that agency sinks her book. Lynette... 641 00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:49,080 I'm telling you, the only thing staler than that ad campaign 642 00:31:49,090 --> 00:31:52,440 Is this dinner roll. Yeah, and the water was as flat as the ad campaign. 643 00:31:52,450 --> 00:31:55,400 Your Martini was as dry as the ad campaign. Let it go. 644 00:31:56,510 --> 00:31:58,610 Hi, everybody! You having a good Time? Hi! 645 00:31:58,620 --> 00:31:59,670 Hey, beautiful! 646 00:31:59,670 --> 00:32:01,400 Um ,this is-- Stu! 647 00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,250 Lynette Scavo. I thought that might be you. Hey! 648 00:32:05,250 --> 00:32:08,720 Everyone, this is my old assistant, 649 00:32:08,730 --> 00:32:10,920 Stu, um... Durber. Durber. 650 00:32:10,970 --> 00:32:14,290 Hey! Well, this was one great guy. 651 00:32:14,300 --> 00:32:16,830 He would schlep All the way across town 652 00:32:16,840 --> 00:32:19,210 Just to get me my chinese food. 653 00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:20,430 So... 654 00:32:21,090 --> 00:32:22,250 What are you up to? 655 00:32:22,260 --> 00:32:25,650 Actually, Stu's company is doing all my advertising. 656 00:32:29,710 --> 00:32:31,260 Your company? You have a company? 657 00:32:31,270 --> 00:32:33,130 Three years now. Huh. 658 00:32:33,140 --> 00:32:35,620 How about you? Are you still at, uh, Parcher & Murphy? 659 00:32:35,630 --> 00:32:38,770 No, i... Also went into business for myself. 660 00:32:38,940 --> 00:32:40,860 Her place makes the best pizza in town. 661 00:32:41,780 --> 00:32:43,210 You own a pizzeria? 662 00:32:43,220 --> 00:32:44,920 Well, it's really my husband's. 663 00:32:44,930 --> 00:32:47,090 And I'm still doing some freelance Stuff. 664 00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:50,240 Well, that's great. You know, we're Always working late. Mm-hmm. Oh. 665 00:32:50,250 --> 00:32:52,770 Give me your card. We'll order from you some night. Oh. 666 00:32:52,780 --> 00:32:54,170 You know, of course, we're across town, 667 00:32:54,180 --> 00:32:55,990 So it May be a bit of a schlep. Oh! 668 00:32:56,570 --> 00:32:58,420 It w great catching up, Lynette. Yeah. 669 00:32:58,430 --> 00:33:03,550 Bree, let me introduce you to some people. Yeah, mm. Great. 670 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:19,310 There's my beautiful wife. 671 00:33:19,350 --> 00:33:20,370 What are you up to? 672 00:33:21,160 --> 00:33:23,500 Why? Looking for a reason to scream at me? 673 00:33:23,510 --> 00:33:26,100 You're right. I was awful the other day. 674 00:33:26,380 --> 00:33:27,740 How about I make it up to you 675 00:33:27,750 --> 00:33:30,230 By buying you mrs. Hudson's house? 676 00:33:30,790 --> 00:33:33,540 Seriously? Well, I thought about it, and I agree. 677 00:33:33,550 --> 00:33:35,380 It's a good investment opportunity. 678 00:33:35,470 --> 00:33:37,540 Oh! Thank you! 679 00:33:37,790 --> 00:33:41,360 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Thank you. Thank you. 680 00:33:42,300 --> 00:33:46,550 And I promise that we'll rent that place out for top dollar. 681 00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:48,290 Oh, I'm not worried about that. 682 00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:51,920 But first... I want to do someone a favor. 683 00:33:58,740 --> 00:34:00,870 Where are you? It's after 2:00. 684 00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:02,820 I'm getting ready for my job interview. 685 00:34:02,830 --> 00:34:05,190 Oh, that's not until 4:00. 686 00:34:05,650 --> 00:34:07,420 I'm reading the company's annual reports. 687 00:34:07,430 --> 00:34:08,590 I want to be prepared. 688 00:34:08,850 --> 00:34:11,400 Oh, honey. Everybody's asking about you. 689 00:34:12,570 --> 00:34:14,720 I want you to be here. It's my big day. 690 00:34:15,710 --> 00:34:16,770 Well... 691 00:34:17,240 --> 00:34:18,320 Enjoy it. 692 00:34:18,830 --> 00:34:19,880 You've earned it. 693 00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:33,320 You know what this tastes like? More. 694 00:34:34,870 --> 00:34:35,540 It would seem 695 00:34:35,550 --> 00:34:38,070 Somebody's taking their designated driver position... 696 00:34:38,240 --> 00:34:40,670 A little lightly. Stu? 697 00:34:40,920 --> 00:34:44,750 Stu is doing Bree's ad campaign? 698 00:34:44,970 --> 00:34:47,590 I rode in his hatchback once. 699 00:34:47,600 --> 00:34:49,900 It smelled like mu shu. 700 00:34:50,250 --> 00:34:52,180 I gotta warn her. Oh, wait! No, honey. 701 00:34:52,190 --> 00:34:54,010 Why don't you wait till after the ceremony? 702 00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:56,590 Yeah, just until you can blink both eyes at the same Time. 703 00:34:56,970 --> 00:35:01,250 Guys, I am just gonna offer her a little advice. Geesh. 704 00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:06,790 Whoop. Still waiting. 705 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:08,130 The great thing about the internet is that 706 00:35:08,140 --> 00:35:10,400 With a minimal investment, you actually can reach 707 00:35:10,410 --> 00:35:13,500 All your specific target audience-- coupons. 708 00:35:14,330 --> 00:35:15,420 Coupons? 709 00:35:15,620 --> 00:35:19,610 Do a cross-promotion with some of the major food companies. 710 00:35:19,620 --> 00:35:22,200 Knock off 20% 711 00:35:22,210 --> 00:35:25,900 On some of the items featured in your recipes, 712 00:35:25,910 --> 00:35:27,950 Then they do the same 713 00:35:27,960 --> 00:35:30,760 Towards the purchase of your cookbook. 714 00:35:31,370 --> 00:35:33,050 Yeah, our research shows, you know, 715 00:35:33,060 --> 00:35:35,640 People aren't so hot on gimmicks-- zip it, Stewie. 716 00:35:35,810 --> 00:35:37,630 Would you excuse us, please? 717 00:35:39,460 --> 00:35:41,830 Lynette, you're drunk. 718 00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:44,070 Yeah, that's immaterial. 719 00:35:44,260 --> 00:35:46,040 What do you think of the coupons? 720 00:35:46,050 --> 00:35:49,280 Lynette, I am really not able to deal with that right now. 721 00:35:49,710 --> 00:35:51,230 Oh. I know. 722 00:35:51,420 --> 00:35:54,450 You've got your book and--and your big fancy award, 723 00:35:54,460 --> 00:35:55,910 And I'm just a housewife. 724 00:35:56,110 --> 00:35:57,570 I never said that. 725 00:35:57,580 --> 00:36:00,880 You know, when I had a high-powered career, 726 00:36:00,890 --> 00:36:04,700 And you were just a housewife, I never looked down on you. 727 00:36:05,270 --> 00:36:07,510 If you could All please take your seats, 728 00:36:07,740 --> 00:36:09,650 It's Time to present our award. 729 00:36:12,330 --> 00:36:13,810 You need to leave now. 730 00:36:15,060 --> 00:36:17,600 Fine. And don't worry. 731 00:36:17,730 --> 00:36:20,900 Even though I'd like to, I'm not gonna make some big, ugly scene. 732 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:38,490 Hey. I, um, I bought m.J. So stilts, 733 00:36:38,500 --> 00:36:40,010 Thought I'd teach him how to use 'em. 734 00:36:40,020 --> 00:36:43,770 Har har. Uh, actually, he's at Juanita's watching a dvd. 735 00:36:43,780 --> 00:36:44,790 Do you want me to call him? 736 00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:47,820 No. No, it's cool. I just wanted to tell him about my new place. 737 00:36:49,290 --> 00:36:50,720 You're moving again? 738 00:36:51,140 --> 00:36:52,930 How far are you gonna be away now? 739 00:36:56,520 --> 00:36:58,900 The Hudson house? Yeah, she sold it. 740 00:36:58,990 --> 00:37:01,000 And Edie told me the new owner wants to rent it, 741 00:37:01,280 --> 00:37:02,830 So now I'll have a fighting chance 742 00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:04,980 Of being around when m.J. Hits his milestones. 743 00:37:07,490 --> 00:37:08,810 Is this okay with you? 744 00:37:09,890 --> 00:37:12,300 Yeah. It's great. 745 00:37:12,830 --> 00:37:14,550 Uh, we'll be like... 746 00:37:15,820 --> 00:37:18,260 One big, happy, divorced family. 747 00:37:19,060 --> 00:37:20,060 You sure? 748 00:37:21,060 --> 00:37:22,220 It's a little weird. 749 00:37:22,700 --> 00:37:26,010 I--i but, you know, m.J. Will be thrilled, and... 750 00:37:26,630 --> 00:37:27,920 Yeah, I'm fine with it. 751 00:37:29,040 --> 00:37:29,980 Good. 752 00:37:30,460 --> 00:37:31,670 So, um... 753 00:37:32,540 --> 00:37:34,920 I'll see you around, neighbor. 754 00:37:41,420 --> 00:37:42,550 I still think it's strange 755 00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:44,600 You won't let me tell Mike that we're the new owners. 756 00:37:44,610 --> 00:37:46,150 Well, the man's got a lot of pride. 757 00:37:46,460 --> 00:37:49,180 I want him to feel like I'm his neighbor, not his landlord. 758 00:37:49,830 --> 00:37:52,450 Landlord? Hell, with the rent we're charging him, 759 00:37:52,460 --> 00:37:53,780 You're his fairy godmother. 760 00:37:53,790 --> 00:37:57,730 All right, consider it an investment in good karma. Screw karma. 761 00:37:58,140 --> 00:38:00,020 I finally do something nice in this neighbhood, 762 00:38:00,030 --> 00:38:01,360 And I can't even brag about it? 763 00:38:03,830 --> 00:38:06,010 The man who is silent in his good deeds 764 00:38:06,420 --> 00:38:08,690 Is the man who reaps the greatest reward. 765 00:38:19,310 --> 00:38:20,710 So... 766 00:38:20,740 --> 00:38:21,930 Give me some guidance. 767 00:38:21,940 --> 00:38:25,590 Do I grovel, send flowers, or... 768 00:38:26,020 --> 00:38:27,350 Just move? 769 00:38:27,660 --> 00:38:29,140 I'm not angry with you. 770 00:38:29,720 --> 00:38:31,420 I'm just sorry that you felt so-- 771 00:38:31,430 --> 00:38:33,580 Drunk? Jealous? 772 00:38:34,540 --> 00:38:36,890 You have nothing to be jealous of. 773 00:38:36,900 --> 00:38:39,260 Don't give me that. 774 00:38:39,270 --> 00:38:41,110 You are having the kind of success 775 00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:43,840 I only dreamed of back in my ad days. 776 00:38:43,850 --> 00:38:45,720 But that doesn't mean I look down on you. 777 00:38:45,730 --> 00:38:50,030 No. But watching you, I look down on me. 778 00:38:50,980 --> 00:38:53,890 When I held your book in my hands, 779 00:38:54,630 --> 00:38:57,830 I felt so jealous my stomach hurt. 780 00:38:58,210 --> 00:39:01,650 And I thought, if I could just hitch a ride, 781 00:39:01,660 --> 00:39:03,180 Have a piece of it, 782 00:39:03,540 --> 00:39:06,550 I wouldn't feel so bad about your success. 783 00:39:06,560 --> 00:39:08,890 For god sakes, Lynette, stop calling me a success. 784 00:39:08,900 --> 00:39:11,190 There's nothing successful about me. 785 00:39:15,990 --> 00:39:17,950 My friends think I'm gonna drop them, 786 00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:19,550 My partner resents me, 787 00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:20,760 And my husband... 788 00:39:24,360 --> 00:39:26,350 Has moved into the guest bedroom. 789 00:39:29,100 --> 00:39:32,290 Everything I gain comes at some horrible price, 790 00:39:32,300 --> 00:39:35,330 And I'm starting to wonder if any of it's even worth it. 791 00:39:35,940 --> 00:39:37,380 It is. 792 00:39:40,390 --> 00:39:42,920 You're at the start of an incredible journey, 793 00:39:42,930 --> 00:39:46,450 And I am going to be there every step of the way, 794 00:39:46,460 --> 00:39:48,410 Cheering you on, 795 00:39:48,420 --> 00:39:50,500 Telling anyone who will listen 796 00:39:50,510 --> 00:39:54,470 That the Bree Van De Kamp is my friend. 797 00:39:55,380 --> 00:39:56,570 Thanks. 798 00:39:57,670 --> 00:39:59,250 And the rest of the Stuff... 799 00:40:00,740 --> 00:40:02,490 You'll find a wayto fix it. 800 00:40:04,300 --> 00:40:08,140 Just know that All your friends are very proud of you. 801 00:40:11,230 --> 00:40:13,230 Bitterly jealous, but proud. 802 00:40:25,100 --> 00:40:26,550 If you look closely 803 00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:28,950 Into the faces of those around you, 804 00:40:29,740 --> 00:40:31,010 You will catch a glimpse 805 00:40:31,020 --> 00:40:33,320 Of a certain Green-eyed monster. 806 00:40:38,340 --> 00:40:41,730 And then you'll see they envy your career... 807 00:40:47,690 --> 00:40:49,240 Your love life... 808 00:40:57,290 --> 00:40:59,900 The Time you spend with their child... 809 00:41:06,940 --> 00:41:10,190 How do you deal with such jealousy? 810 00:41:15,800 --> 00:41:17,490 There are many ways. 811 00:41:20,060 --> 00:41:21,610 But the best... 812 00:41:22,940 --> 00:41:25,010 Is to simply share 813 00:41:25,060 --> 00:41:26,550 What you have. 814 00:41:30,360 --> 00:41:31,490 Thank you. 815 00:41:37,510 --> 00:41:40,150 Promise me you'll never leave our bed again. 816 00:41:41,360 --> 00:41:42,880 I promise... 817 00:41:43,470 --> 00:41:44,520 Partner.