WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
You embezzled $10 million?
On a hotel voice mail.
Actually, now it's only about $9.5. It cost me half a mil
To hide it from the government and certain other people. Mm.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
If this is Tanaka money, then you had it when we were married?
Okay, i can sense where you're going with this.
Which also means you had it when we got divorced.
Look, if i had told you about it,
You'd have taken me to the cleaners. Carlos, we were married.
I was entitled to half of everything you embezzled.
Look, we're back together now. What does it Matt er?
Well, it Matt ers that you lied to me.
I can't trust you.
Gaby! If i can't trust you, i don't think i can be with you.
Oh, come on!
No, i'm serious. After everything i have been through?
No! No, get out!
Gaby, you should be happy right now.
I have millions of dollars, and i want you to be with me.
Oh, so you want me to s Lee p with you and take your money.
Gee, if that were a job, what would they call it?
Thanks, kid.
Bear claw?
Uh, no. Thank you, nick.
So, uh, Mike said you had some medical questions for me?
Um, yes, the, uh,
Genetic counselor, um, wanted to know a couple of things.
Um, i-is there any cancer in your family?
No.
Great.
Uh, diabetes?
Wonderful.
Who did you kill?
Couldn't have covered this in the car?
I thought she should hear it from you.
I killed my boss.
Uh-huh. Okay.
He wasn't my boss when i met him.
He was just another guy on the loading dock, like me.
A supervisor's job came up,
And, uh, we were both angling for it.
And then arnie-- that was his name--
He went to the head of the company
And told him some lies about me,
And he got the job.
So you killed him?
No. I stewed about it for a few weeks.
I'd see arnie walking around with that smirk,
And, uh, and that tie, and i thought to myself,
"you know, arnie, you don't deserve that job.
"you don't deserve that tie,
And you don't deserve to live."
So you killed him?
No. I confronted him.
I said, "arnie, what you did wasn't right."
He just laughed in my face and said, uh,
"what are you gonna do about it?"
Then i killed him.
Uh, and how did you...
With the tie. I thought it was a nice touch.
Well, now you know.
Hey, Adam , Katherine .
Or should i say frankenstein and... Marie antoinette?
Nice.
You came as a self-important queen who lost all her power.
Isn't that a bit on the nose?
Lee making jokes about a queen.
Isn't that a bit ironic?
You two look adorable.
And who are you supposed to be?
Cher, the beloved pop diva.
It was my mom's idea.
You know, the woman who freaked when she found out i was gay?
Oh, my god. Is that Danielle ?
I expressly forbade her from coming tonight.
Who does she think she is?
Apparently, you.
Danielle, you're back!
I'm not Danielle .
I am Bree Van De Kamp Hodge .
Oh, no, no, no. No hugs, please.
I'm uncomfortable with needless displays of emotion.
Your costume looks great. It's so real.
Ooh! I could swear i felt a kick.
You stop that, baby Hodge . We do not kick people,
Unless they're servants.
Why didn't you tell me she was home?
Oh, it's just a quick visit. She's driving back Tom orrow.
To switzerland?
Let's go get some cake, dear.
What do you think you're doing? Exactly what my mother wants.
You did say to be more like you, right?
That's not what i meant, and you know it,
And as for your little imitation of me,
I don't sound anything like that.
Danielle? Who are you supposed to be?
Really, Karen , i don't think our lord is amused
When we make light of witchcraft,
And you might use a coaster.
Oh, i get it. She's you.
I just don't see how he could not feel bad about it.
I don't want to talk about this anymore.
You know, i expected to meet
A guy that was racked with remorse,
And instead,
I'm looking across the table at this...
Person. He's a person.
Yeah, an evil person.
No, he's a good guy who did an evil thing.
There's a difference.
Well, i don't see one.
Look, he snapped. It happens. People snap. I did.
I killed a guy.
You killed a crooked cop who was coming after you.
That's self-defense,
And even so, you regret it, right? Yes, of course.
Well, that's my point. When good people snap,
They feel bad about it. Your dad doesn't.
Susan, why are you getting so worked up over this?
I don't know. It just bothers me.
I mean... My god, Mike .
He's your dad.
Yeah, i know,
And this conversation is exactly why i told you he was dead.
Lynette!
Honey, are you out here?
It won't be a problem. Trust me.
Well, you say that now, but once you've held your child
And felt that rush of love, well...
It can change you.
Please. I hate this baby.
What has it done but make me fat
And ruin an entire year of my life?
I'm just saying, if i were you, i might be feeling--
Stop. Who says i have to feel the same things you'd feel?
I'm nothing like you.
You always say that like it's something to be proud of,
But the day i see even a glimmer of myself in you
Is the day that i realize
You've finally started... To grow up.
Well, don't hold your breath.
No, on second thought,
Do.
Hello, Gabrielle .
Milton... You scared me.
I thought you were in washington with Victor .
I was. I got to the messages first.
Oh. You can't leave him, Gabrielle .
Well, if he really wanted me to stay,
He would've come here himself, instead of siccing daddy on me.
Oh, Victor hasn't heard the message.
I erased it. Oh, great.
Now i have to break up with him all over again.
You know, there's a lot of talk
About Victor running for governor.
A divorce on the eve of a campaign could be...
Quite damaging.
And you flew all the way here to twist my arm?
No, i had something a little more subtle in mind.
Milton, there is no amount of money that is--wow!
Yeah. You start tacking on those zeros,
It gets hard to stop.
Hold on.
This check is dated for next year.
Exactly.
If you want this money, you're gonna have
To stay married to my son for the next 13 months.
And isn't there an election around that time?
My son is destined for greatness.
He will be governor.
He could be president.
And you're going to make sure
He goes straight to the top, aren't you?
Sometimes greatness needs a little nudge.
What do you mean, there's nothing there?
I'm sorry, ms. Britt.
I checked the number you gave me three times.
That offshore account simply doesn't exist.
Where is that $10 million?
What $10 million?
Give it a rest, Carlos . You moved that money.
First of all, i deny having any illegal money,
Let alone moving it.
Why are you talking like that?
I don't know. I thought you might be wearing a wire.
You're paranoid. You know that?
Well, don't i have reason to be?
And why would you care where the money is,
Unless you were planning on using it against me?
Oh, god. You think you are so clever. Well, you're not.
In fact, you--you are the stupidest man i've ever met.
You have no clue who you're dealing with,
But believe me, you're gonna pay
For what you've done to me, Carlos .
This game is not over.
Actually, it kinda is,
And if you hadn't noticed...
I won.
Bree.
Lynette, i was just thinking about you.
Did you get your test results yet?
Huh? Oh, the p.e.t. Scan. No, not till Tom orrow.
Listen, i need your help. There's a possum in my garden.
Ugh! I hate possums.
Not as much as me. I put out poison, but it ate around it.
I got one of those humane traps, but all i trapped was penny.
How can i help?
I want a gun.
Really?
I thought you were one of those liberal gun haters.
That was the old Lynette . The new Lynette
Kills the possums and lets god sort 'em out.
Well, unfortunately, our b Lee ding-heart town council
Forbids us from using live ammo in our own backyards.
Wusses!
I suggest you get an air rifle.
It won't kill it,
But it'll sting it enough to keep it away for good.
Perfect. Where can i get one?
Try, um, gun city on route 6 by the baptist church.
Tell them i sent ya,
And they'll give you a nice discount.
Great.
What's so urgent?
Can't say hello to a girl?
Gaby, we had a deal.
We weren't gonna see each other for six months.
Oh, uh, yeah, about that...
What if we make it 13?
Okay, no, just go with me on this.
What i'm about to propose will give us total financial freedom
And... Help a conniving billionaire's dream come true.
Whoa. What's this for?
Milton lang doesn't want me to leave Victor
Until after he runs for governor.
Once the election's over, ka-ching!
So basically, you're taking money
To s Lee p with a man you don't love.
Gee, if that were a job, what would you call it?
I don't have to s Lee p with him,
Just stay with him for political reasons.
It's basically a modeling fee for a 13-month photo op.
Absolutely not.
Carlos, you're not working right now,
And you know we'll never be happy if we're broke.
We need this.
What if we didn't?
What if i had some money stashed away?
Okay, remember a few years ago
When i was in business with Tanaka ?
I was always afraid that he was gonna double-cross me.
Which he did.
But before he did,
I skimmed a little off the top.
How much is "a little"?
$10 million.
Is that for the possum?
Yeah.
Now he's playing mind games with me,
But i laid out some halloween candy.
Pretty soon he'll get hungry, and when he does...
Trick or treat.
Lynette--
Shh! Do you hear that?
He's making his move.
Lynette, i think you should come inside
And lie down for a little while.
No way. He's here, Tom . I can tell.
Okay, now--now you're scaring me.
Why?
Look at yourself.
You've--you've declared jihad on a possum.
This is not a joke, Tom . Something has attacked our home,
And when that happens, you don't just stand by--you fight it.
Screw this creature that has come into our lives uninvited
And is trying to destroy us.
It will not defeat me.
Okay.
You do what you need to do.
Thank you.
So, Bree , have you, uh, picked a name for the baby yet?
Not yet, but i'm thinking
"you're not good enough" if it's a boy,
And "you'll always disappoint me" if it's a girl.
Okay, you made your point. Now go home.
Are you kidding me?
Do not test me, young lady,
Or i will drag you out of here myself.
You make a scene? Ha! That's a laugh.
What's wrong?
I think my water just broke.
Oh, dear heavenly lord.
What happened to my rug?
Danielle!
We agreed to save that till the end of the night.
The best part of the costume,
And she pops the water balloon when people aren't even looking.
Orson! Andrew!
Think we can make it to the hospital?
I don't think so! It's coming.
Okay, everybody, in the house now.
Not on the couch. I just had it reupholstered.
Andrew, take your sister into the kitchen.
Get some towels. Boil some water.
Everything is gonna be fine. I'm a doctor.
You're a dentist! What if there are complications?
Should an emergency arise, we will simply call an amulet.
A what?
Ambulance.
How many rum punches did you have?
There was punch in that rum?
I am going back to get Adam .
Bree. Bree, what's wng?
I need your services as a doctor,
But before i tell you what's going on,
I need you to promise that what you're about to learn
Will be kept in strictest confidence. Does this have anything to do
With the pregnancy you've been faking?
Okay, you're almost there.
Danielle, you're doing great. Push, baby, push.
Are they home? The lights are on.
Here it comes!
If they're not home, then what's that?
Probably just a tape they put on to scare us.
Well, you know the rule.
If we don't get our treat, they get a trick. Yeah.
Come on.
And... Thank you.
Okay.
It's a beautiful baby boy.
How are you feeling?
Tired.
Did Adam leave?
Uh, yeah, and he promised
That no one would ever know what happened here tonight.
That's good, i guess.
Is he okay?
He's perfect.
He's, um, he's all cleaned up now,
If... If you want to hold him.
Yeah.
He's so tiny.
He looks just like you did.
Do you want to be alone with him?
Do you want me to...
To go?
What should i do?
You should take him.
Are you sure?
Sweetheart, do you feel like you're making a mistake?
No, it's...
The right thing to do for everyone...
Especially him.
But you're right.
It's awful.
I'm gonna s Lee p now.
Okay, baby.
It's okay, little one.
Here we are. Here we go.
Yes, here we go.
Susan, hey, it's me.
Um, sorry to leave this message on your machine,
But can you tell the other girls
I'm, uh, going to be by myself for a while?
I... Just...
Going through some stuff and need to think.
Um--oh, god, that's my car ready to take me to the airport,
So i'll tell you everything when i get back.
Okay? Love you. Bye.
This is nice.
I didn't order a stretch, but i'll take it.
Victor.
I tried reaching you at the house,
But the maid said you'd moved out.
I took the next flight home. What's going on?
Well, i'm... Sort of leaving you.
Well, i guess "sort of" is better than "definitely."
What do i have to do to make it "absolutely not"?
I'll do anything. Just tell me.
Victor, it's not that simple. We have major problems,
And you never have time to talk about them, let alone fix 'em.
Well, i guess i better make some time.
Let's see.
Here's this weekend.
Here's next week.
The week after. Look at that. I've got a whole month.
You busy?
Victor, i know you're only doing this
Because a divorce would hurt your run for governor.
What if i don't run?
You mean that?
The governor's mansion is my father's dream.
You know what my dream is?
You.
Don't run away, Gaby ...
And if you do, please, take me with you.
So... Where's Mike ?
At the motel. I slipped out without waking him.
I've been up all night thinking,
And i have something to say to you.
I don't believe you.
I don't believe that you could kill a man and not regret it.
Why do you care?
Because i am carrying a baby that has your genes.
If my doctor told me that there was
Something wrong with this baby-- something physical,
I could handle that.
I would probably even love it more.
But if my baby was born without a conscience, without a soul,
I don't know what i would do.
You think i don't have a soul?
If you can't feel the tiniest bit of remorse
Over taking a human life...
No, i don't think you do.
If i were to think about what i did,
Really think about it,
Lay awake nights
Trying to remember the look on that guy's face
When i strangled the life out of him...
Pretty soon, i'd go crazy.
I should go.
You know what i do regret?
What i did to Mike .
What did you do?
He was a real popular kid. Everybody liked Mike y.
Then when i got sent away,
Suddenly the whole town
Just thinks of him as the son of a murderer.
He got some pretty serious demons as a result.
I'm not sure that kind of darkness
Ever truly goes away.
Well, you're wrong.
He's happy.
He's got a good job and a wife who loves him
And a baby on the way.
I had a lot going for me, too, before i threw it all away.
Just...
Keep on eye on him.
Edie, if you're looking for Gaby ,
She just left for her yoga class.
Yoga... Is that what she told you?
I'm sorry.
I know how angry and humiliated you must feel.
But don't take it all out on Gaby .
Carlos seduced her.
He hated you for taking his wife,
So he decided to make a fool out of you.
I think he deserves whatever's coming to him, don't you?
Hey! Hey! Hey, quiet. She's napping.
Finally. How'd you get her to do that?
Oh, i-i made her a margarita. The tequila did the rest.
Hmm, it's dr. Rushton.
Her oncologist?
Hey, dr. Rushton.
What--what are you doing here?
Well... So much of my job is delivering bad news,
That i really wanted to tell you this in person.
Lynette, i got the test results back. You're clean.
Are you sure? Yeah.
Oh! Lymph nodes are completely clear. Congratulations.
I knew it. I knew it!
Did you hear that? Did you hear that?
This is so amazing. I'm gonna go get the kids.
Hey, doc, you look like you need a margarita.
And even if you don't, i ain't drinking alone.
I'm sorry.
There is much to be afraid of in this world,
But what we fear has nothing to do
With gruesome masks
Or plastic spiders
Or lifelike monsters.
No, it's the thoughts in our head
That terrify us the most...
What if she comes to regret her decision?
What if he really is unhappy?
What if the chance for love has passed forever?
How do we conquer these terrifying thoughts?
We start by reminding ourselves
What does not kill us...
Just makes us stronger.