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Desperate Housewives 4x4
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when her first husband died,
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bree thought she was
rid of her mother-in-law.
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danielle got pregnant,
and bree got creative.
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soon this whole charade
will completely unravel,
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and we will be humiliated. carlos
and gaby's affair turned dangerous...
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if she pulled something
like that on me,
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that guy wouldn't be around for
long. and an old neighbor returned.
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i didn't want poor aunt
lily to spend her final days
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in a nursing home.
that is so kind of you.
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mrs. lillian sims
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returned to wisteria
lane on a saturday.
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as she emerged from the ambulance,
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it occurred to her
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the neighborhood looked
exactly as she had left it.
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she then decided
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she should have
painted her house blue.
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moments later,
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she wondered if she would
see her husband in heaven.
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these are just some of the thoughts
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that go through an old woman's mind
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when she comes home to die.
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now if you need anything,
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you just ring this little
bell, and i'll come running.
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i'm sorry to be so much trouble.
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well, the good news is,
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i
- i won't be a burden much longer.
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oh, don't say that.
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the doctors say
there's a good chance
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that you'll be with us
for a very long time.
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i know what's happening
to me, katherine.
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you don't need to lie.
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aunt lily...
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mm.
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what does it feel like?
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dying, i mean.
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it's not that bad.
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i feel lucky.
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when you know time is running out,
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you-you get a chance
to reflect on your life.
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i
- i really did try to live a good one.
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you did more than try.
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god is going to welcome
you with open arms.
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i'm not so sure.
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oh, why would you say that?
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i keep thinking about dylan...
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what we did, what we covered up.
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we did what we had to.
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we should have told someone.
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we couldn't. you know that.
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it-it was a mistake,
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and it's not too
late to rectify it.
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your life may be over,
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but that does not
give you the right
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to go around destroying
the lives of others.
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i can't go to my grave
with this on my conscience.
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please! we have to tell that girl
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what happened in this room.
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absolutely not.
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as her guilt over the
past began to mount,
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it occurred to lillian
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death couldn't come quickly enough.
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this thought occurred
to her niece as well.
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there were a lot of things
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bob hunter disliked
about living in the city,
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and the thing he hated most
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were the pests-
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the rats that lurked
in the alleys...
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the flies that
swarmed the garbage...
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the bugs that invaded his co-op.
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i have tried it your way...
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finally, bob informed
his significant other
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it was time...
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to leave the city.
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so they moved to suburbia,
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which they quickly
discovered had a few pests...
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hey, neighbor!
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of its own.
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oh, we haven't gotten
a chance to meet.
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i'm susan. i live
next door. oh! jeez.
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hi. hi, i'm lee. uh, i-i
just wanted to say hi.
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you know, i saw
the movers taking in
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some of your furniture,
and i just have to say
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you and your wife
have gorgeous taste.
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need some help? yeah,
like you wouldn't believe.
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um, i'm susan. i live next door.
oh, hi. i'm lee's partner bob.
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oh, you're partners.
what kind of business?
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you know, whatever it is,
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just don't let the
neighborhood association
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hear that you work
out of your house.
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they're so not cool.
actually, we're life partners.
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oh.
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oh!
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oh, that's super!
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yeah, i've seen a lot
of cable, so i get it.
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you're just great.
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thank you.
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i
- i hope we can live up to your stereotype.
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ow. don't mind him.
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he's just a little cranky
from, uh, all the fresh air.
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do not apologize for me.
lee, you're the one who said
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moving here would be
better for raphael.
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oh. so there's, uh...
there's three of you.
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well, that must be...
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cozy.
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yes. we're gay mormons.
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susan, uh...
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that's raphael.
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oh.
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raphael is your dog, of course.
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you know, 'cause you
folks can't have kids.
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i mean, uh, i mean, of
course you can have kids,
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um, you-you know, because
times have changed,
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and now you're allowed.
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um...
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what a... nice dog.
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i should go.
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nice to meet you.
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hey, stop by any time, susan
- ow! what are you doing?
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what are you doing? well...
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yes?
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i have a delivery for
danielle van de kamp.
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can i get you to sign here, please?
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is that for us? no,
it's for danielle.
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there you are. thank you.
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that's odd. who would
send her a scooter?
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i knew it! phyllis-rex's mother.
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ever since he died,
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she's been trying to buy
the children's affection.
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wow. well, it's a honey of a bike.
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i'm sure danielle will
appreciate the thought.
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well, i'm not giving it to her.
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can you think of a worse
present for a pregnant girl?
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well, i'm not knocked
up. let me have it.
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you know how i feel about 2
- wheeled motorized vehicles.
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they're too dangerous.
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we'll donate it to the church.
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what?! reverend sikes said
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they're looking for items for
the raffle. so we're just gonna?
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well, it's better than you
breaking your neck on it.
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mom, you know how much i
want a scooter. come on.
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you heard your mother. we're
donating it to the church.
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of course, we need to make
sure it's in good working order
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before we do that.
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not without a helmet.
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this blows. are we gonna
let her do this to us?
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absolutely not.
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if we win that raffle,
we're keeping it.
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hey.
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it is nice to hear
you humming again.
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well, it's amazing what a
week without chemo can do.
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yeah. when does the
last round start?
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next month, so i have some time
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before i start feeling
like total crap again.
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and i was hoping we could
put that time to good use.
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are you sure?
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i mean, the doctor said
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it could be months before
you get your mojo back.
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well, it's back.
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and since when do
you question the mojo?
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you're right. you're
right. forgive me.
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okay, so here are your options.
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"a," we could go romantic,
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play soft music,
light some candles,
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or "b," go straight to the-whoa!
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god, it's so been so long.
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i hope i remember how to do this.
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well, it's just like riding
a bike. you never forget.
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now start pedaling.
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hey. mmm.
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hey. what are you doing? ooh,
sorry. i just messed up your hair.
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i'm just trying to fix it. ow!
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sorry. al-almost got it. hey!
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whoa. hey.
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screw it.
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what-what are you doing?
oh, i ripped it this morning.
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it's been itching
the hell out of me...
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and this is much better. are you
sure you wanna take that off, honey?
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i mean, won't you be
cold? no, i'm good. mwah!
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what?
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late?
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come on, bree. you have to let us
do this. uh, it's a lovely thought,
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but i really don't
want a baby shower.
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well, i bought you
an expensive gift,
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and i'm not giving it to
you unless there's a party
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with people who can
see how generous i am.
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bree, watch this!
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orson, i said be careful!
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i just think it's tacky
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to have a baby shower when
it's not your first baby.
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well, i don't see the
problem with it... hint, hint.
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yeah, and showers aren't just
about presents. they're fun.
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and we can play games, like
"how big is mummy's tummy?"
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excuse me?
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yeah, we get a ball of
yarn, and we each cut a piece
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that we think is just big enough
to fit around your stomach,
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and the one closest wins a prize.
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i really don't want a shower.
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look! look at me!
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orson, just five more minutes!
that's all you're getting!
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i tell you what. why don't
we just skip the shower,
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and after the baby's born,
i'll have a christening party?
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what do you say?
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i'm okay!
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i'm fine.
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oh, dear god.
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excuse me, ladies.
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i
- i couldn't help overhearing
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you-you talking
about my mom's shower.
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i
- i think i could be of a little assistance here.
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00:11:19,500 --> 00:11:22,100
why do you have to take our
new neighbors cookie bars?
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oh, look, i made a
terrible first impression,
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so i thought i'd make them
some of my home-baked goodness.
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but you didn't bake any goodness.
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you just warmed up the
goodness i bought at the store.
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well, yeah. i don't bake. catch up.
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you know, not all neighbors
have to be friends.
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why don't you just let it go?
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mike, they live 15 feet from us.
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if we have a fire, i wanna be sure
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that they like us enough to call
9-1-1. ah, that's the real reason.
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you can't stand it when
somebody doesn't like you.
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well, maybe. well, maybe bob and
lee just like to keep to themselves.
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that's fine, and once they like me,
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they can keep to themselves
all they damn well please.
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hi. i wanted to bring you
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a "welcome to the
neighborhood" present.
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you should try one while
they're still warm from the oven.
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that was really nice. thank
you. oh, are there nuts in them?
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nuts? yeah.
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gee, let me think.
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nope, no nuts.
235
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:21,900
are you sure? 'cause
i'm highly allergic.
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half a pecan could kill me.
237
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i'm not seeing any nuts.
238
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okay, you made them,
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so did you or did you
not put nuts in them?
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okay, here's the thing.
i'm a really crappy baker.
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to give you something
that i made myself
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would be like an insult,
so- so-so-so you bought them,
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and-and then you heated them up
in attempt to make your gesture
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seem more thoughtful
than, in fact, it was.
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hey, i would've made
them myself if i knew how.
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honestly, i'm a good neighbor.
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yeah, well, neighbor,
why don't you take
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your store-bought, warmed-up,
possibly poisonous cookie bars
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00:13:02,235 --> 00:13:02,865
and give them to someone
250
00:13:02,900 --> 00:13:05,700
more likely to survive
your generosity?
251
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:08,765
do you like wine?
252
00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:12,100
no, no, so please don't bring
me a bottle from your vineyard.
253
00:13:17,700 --> 00:13:19,800
this rip is pretty big.
254
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,500
it'll take about a week.
255
00:13:21,535 --> 00:13:23,200
a week?
256
00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:26,500
all right. you'll hurry if you can?
257
00:13:28,900 --> 00:13:30,800
honey, it's okay. you
look cute in a scarf.
258
00:13:30,835 --> 00:13:32,767
i'm upset 'cause that salesgirl
259
00:13:32,802 --> 00:13:34,665
just walked away with my sex life.
260
00:13:34,700 --> 00:13:37,300
what? after two months
of puking my guts out,
261
00:13:37,335 --> 00:13:38,900
last night i was
finally in the mood,
262
00:13:38,935 --> 00:13:40,165
but tom-not so much.
263
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:43,300
apparently, my bald head
is a big turnoff for him.
264
00:13:43,335 --> 00:13:45,700
why'd you take your
wig off? it was itchy.
265
00:13:45,735 --> 00:13:48,067
okay, not smart.
266
00:13:48,102 --> 00:13:50,365
gaby, i am his wife.
267
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:51,965
he's supposed to love me-
268
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,400
not my body, me... my-my soul.
269
00:13:54,435 --> 00:13:56,800
why can't he make love to my soul?
270
00:13:56,835 --> 00:13:58,265
interesting.
271
00:13:58,300 --> 00:14:01,800
question-when was the last
time you were in the bar
272
00:14:01,835 --> 00:14:03,967
and heard a guy turn
to his friend and say,
273
00:14:04,002 --> 00:14:06,100
"hey, check out the
soul on that girl"?
274
00:14:06,135 --> 00:14:07,165
what are you saying?
275
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:09,765
i'm saying men are visual.
276
00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:12,800
hell, i have a whole
closet full of costumes.
277
00:14:12,835 --> 00:14:15,800
you need to give tom
something to look at,
278
00:14:15,835 --> 00:14:18,067
something spicy, like...
279
00:14:18,102 --> 00:14:20,300
gaby, i'm not a redhead.
280
00:14:20,335 --> 00:14:21,565
but you could be,
281
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,700
which brings me
to my second point-
282
00:14:23,735 --> 00:14:25,665
men like variety.
283
00:14:25,700 --> 00:14:27,650
tonight you're a redhead.
284
00:14:27,685 --> 00:14:29,565
tomorrow... you are...
285
00:14:29,600 --> 00:14:32,200
helga, the sexy milkmaid.
286
00:14:32,235 --> 00:14:33,165
or...
287
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:36,200
amber, the lonely runaway.
288
00:14:36,235 --> 00:14:38,000
or...
289
00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:42,100
jeff, the friendly guy from work.
290
00:14:43,100 --> 00:14:45,200
what? i don't know
what tom is into.
291
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:53,000
claude, you know i don't
like it when you "hmm. "
292
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:57,200
edie... how long have you had this?
293
00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:58,465
had what?
294
00:14:58,500 --> 00:14:59,865
i don't have anything.
295
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,300
i'm just here for my
5,000-mile checkup.
296
00:15:03,100 --> 00:15:04,265
well, you know that bullet
297
00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:07,200
you've managed to
dodge all these years?
298
00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:10,265
which one?
299
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:12,500
the clap? the herp?
300
00:15:12,535 --> 00:15:13,917
the syph?!
301
00:15:13,952 --> 00:15:15,265
crabs?
302
00:15:15,300 --> 00:15:19,000
relax. i'll boil all
the sheets and towels,
303
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,800
and then we'll use
this special shampoo,
304
00:15:21,835 --> 00:15:23,065
and in three days,
305
00:15:23,100 --> 00:15:25,700
the crotch carnival
packs up and leaves town.
306
00:15:25,735 --> 00:15:28,265
oh, man. how did this happen?
307
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:32,100
don't give me that look. i
know exactly how i got 'em.
308
00:15:32,300 --> 00:15:34,800
i used the tanning bed
right after mimsy porter,
309
00:15:34,835 --> 00:15:36,200
that skank.
310
00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:39,400
ew, it smells like burnt licorice.
311
00:15:39,435 --> 00:15:40,965
well, come in the bathroom,
312
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,300
and i'll show you how to use this.
313
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:45,765
i think i can figure that out.
314
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:48,400
you know, the good news is we're
in a committed relationship.
315
00:15:48,435 --> 00:15:50,567
otherwise, we'd have to
make that call of shame
316
00:15:50,602 --> 00:15:52,700
to everyone we've been with.
317
00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:57,265
...you've heard me make before,
318
00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:59,700
but something i feel
very, very strongly about.
319
00:15:59,735 --> 00:16:02,165
for me, it's a very simple formula.
320
00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:05,200
more development leads
to an increased tax base,
321
00:16:05,235 --> 00:16:08,100
which helps build
schools for our children.
322
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:10,400
around the country, the
needs of children are being...
323
00:16:10,435 --> 00:16:11,565
what are you doing here?
324
00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:13,250
i need to talk to you.
325
00:16:13,285 --> 00:16:14,900
can't you just call me?
326
00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:19,200
this is not something that
you wanna hear on the phone.
327
00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,465
...and not follow this trend.
328
00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:23,265
and we will put education
where it belongs-
329
00:16:23,300 --> 00:16:27,300
at the top of the list.
ew! how did you get those?
330
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:29,700
how do you think? edie.
331
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,900
you are still sleeping with edie?
332
00:16:34,300 --> 00:16:36,550
well, you're still sleeping
with victor, aren't you?
333
00:16:36,585 --> 00:16:38,800
yeah, if i didn't, he would
think something is going on.
334
00:16:38,835 --> 00:16:40,700
what is your excuse
for doing it with edie?
335
00:16:40,735 --> 00:16:42,600
she wants to, and i'm a guy.
336
00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:45,700
ow! this is serious, okay?
337
00:16:46,300 --> 00:16:48,900
if victor wakes up
with a zoo in his pants,
338
00:16:48,935 --> 00:16:50,065
there's gonna be hell to pay.
339
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:52,465
you don't have to tell me.
if he finds out about us,
340
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:56,200
i'm the one that's gonna wind up in a
landfill. okay, just don't panic, okay?
341
00:16:56,235 --> 00:16:57,865
we're gonna get the
salve or the ointment
342
00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:01,200
or whatever it is you put down
there, and we're gonna be fine.
343
00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,600
we'r're screwed. yeah.
344
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:15,499
tom? the kids are asleep.
345
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:17,565
are you coming to bed anytime soon?
346
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:20,200
yeah, i just gotta
pick a new running back
347
00:17:20,235 --> 00:17:22,800
for my fantasy football team.
348
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:27,765
that's too bad.
349
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:31,500
i had a little fantasy
thing planned of my own.
350
00:17:32,200 --> 00:17:35,165
whoa. lynette...
351
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:36,765
lynette's not here right now.
352
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:40,100
i'm brandy, the slutty cheerleader.
353
00:17:52,700 --> 00:17:54,099
this is all very romantic, gaby,
354
00:17:54,100 --> 00:17:56,600
but i still have four
building proposals to read
355
00:17:56,635 --> 00:17:58,200
before tomorrow.
356
00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:02,300
that's nurse gaby to you.
357
00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:05,300
nurse gaby?
358
00:18:07,700 --> 00:18:08,799
am i sick?
359
00:18:08,800 --> 00:18:11,999
well, the doctor says
you need to relax,
360
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:16,000
and i know just how to relax you.
361
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:17,900
wow.
362
00:18:26,300 --> 00:18:27,699
it smells like licorice.
363
00:18:27,700 --> 00:18:30,199
it's a blend of 36 essential oils,
364
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:32,200
anise root and fennel.
365
00:18:32,235 --> 00:18:34,400
do you like it?
366
00:18:34,700 --> 00:18:36,399
it smells a little medicine-y.
367
00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,900
that's the fennel.
368
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,600
it's stinging a little.
369
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,065
that's the tension...
370
00:18:55,100 --> 00:18:57,900
leaving your body.
371
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,065
it's really stinging.
372
00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:02,300
and we can rinse it off...
373
00:19:02,335 --> 00:19:04,500
in three to five minutes.
374
00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:07,550
but before we do that...
375
00:19:07,585 --> 00:19:10,400
what the hell is that?
376
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,999
you know, for a guy getting
rubbed down by a hot nurse,
377
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:15,800
you ask a lot of questions. sorry.
378
00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:24,099
oh, come on, uncle frank.
379
00:19:24,100 --> 00:19:25,799
what's the point of
having a gay uncle
380
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:28,100
if you're not gonna help me
make friends with these guys?
381
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:30,700
oh.
382
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:33,800
uh, mom said that
the whole family knew.
383
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,600
um, okay. gotta go. love you.
384
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:42,600
what's going on? oh, i found
raphael wandering in the street.
385
00:19:42,635 --> 00:19:44,200
i went to take him back,
but bob and lee aren't home,
386
00:19:44,235 --> 00:19:45,265
so i'm just gonna
give him a little treat
387
00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:48,799
and put him back in their yard.
bup, bup, bup! wait a second.
388
00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:49,765
what? leave him with me.
389
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:51,565
i need to score some
points with those guys,
390
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:53,899
and being a dog-rescuing
hero could be just the ticket.
391
00:19:53,900 --> 00:19:56,599
so what, you're just gonna keep
him here until they come back?
392
00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,700
uh-huh. maybe a little
longer. how long?
393
00:19:59,735 --> 00:20:02,765
well, long enough
for them to worry.
394
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:05,800
you know, the more they worry,
the more i'm a hero. get it?
395
00:20:05,835 --> 00:20:07,165
i get that you're insane.
396
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,265
i'm not, i'm not. now get some mud.
397
00:20:09,300 --> 00:20:12,100
i wanna dirty him up so he looks
like he's been through hell.
398
00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:15,600
okay, in you go.
399
00:20:19,700 --> 00:20:20,965
here, let me help you with those.
400
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:24,000
oh, that's all right.
i've got them, mr. knievel.
401
00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:29,000
oh, boy. you're never gonna let
me live this down, are you? nope.
402
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:31,600
i thought the same thing. it seems to me
that you should go to the doctor again.
403
00:20:31,635 --> 00:20:33,700
surprise!
404
00:20:36,940 --> 00:20:39,380
uh,guys... what did i tell you?
405
00:20:39,550 --> 00:20:42,160
you said "no shower.
" but look around-men.
406
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:44,880
so technically,it's a
party, not a shower. mwah.
407
00:20:45,030 --> 00:20:46,830
andrew told us that
you only said no...
408
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,720
'cause you didn't want to impose.
409
00:20:50,420 --> 00:20:53,290
oh! so you're responsible?
410
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:56,060
yeah,well,i-i know you
said not to make a big fuss,
411
00:20:56,220 --> 00:20:59,360
but,hey,you earned it.
412
00:20:59,540 --> 00:21:01,360
well,don't just
stand there. come in.
413
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:05,490
we have lots of food
and fun and surprises.
414
00:21:06,460 --> 00:21:08,840
yeah,all kinds of surprises.
415
00:21:08,990 --> 00:21:11,560
where is she?
416
00:21:12,170 --> 00:21:13,940
bree!
417
00:21:14,110 --> 00:21:15,480
phyllis!
418
00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:18,150
i,uh,helped with
the invitations,too.
419
00:21:18,330 --> 00:21:22,340
i can't tell you how
touched i was to be included,
420
00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:25,780
especially after my many
conciliatory gestures
421
00:21:25,930 --> 00:21:27,620
were so coldly rebuffed.
422
00:21:27,790 --> 00:21:29,180
i have been awful.
423
00:21:29,330 --> 00:21:32,730
i wouldn't blame you if
you stormed out right now.
424
00:21:32,890 --> 00:21:34,380
nonsense.
425
00:21:34,540 --> 00:21:38,040
i'm here to celebrate
our renewed friendship...
426
00:21:38,190 --> 00:21:40,240
and your baby.
427
00:21:40,410 --> 00:21:42,610
or should i say babies?
428
00:21:42,780 --> 00:21:44,340
you know, it's
often a sign of twins
429
00:21:44,500 --> 00:21:48,970
when a mother's face
gets all plump like yours.
430
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:50,980
oh,um...
431
00:21:51,150 --> 00:21:52,600
i,uh, bet you wouldn't mind
432
00:21:52,750 --> 00:21:56,290
if i broke my neck
on that scooter now.
433
00:22:02,210 --> 00:22:03,370
i'm off to the bank.
434
00:22:03,530 --> 00:22:06,220
aunt lily just took a pill, so
she's down for the afternoon.
435
00:22:06,390 --> 00:22:08,660
okay. have fun.
436
00:22:22,440 --> 00:22:23,900
is your mother gone?
437
00:22:24,060 --> 00:22:25,500
yeah. do you need her?
438
00:22:25,650 --> 00:22:27,820
no,no.
439
00:22:28,780 --> 00:22:31,200
this is what i wanted.
440
00:22:31,870 --> 00:22:33,470
i thought you took a sleeping pill.
441
00:22:33,630 --> 00:22:38,140
i pretended to so
she'd leave us alone.
442
00:22:38,740 --> 00:22:40,930
aunt lily,what's going on?
443
00:22:41,090 --> 00:22:43,740
i have to tell you something.
444
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:49,600
first,you should know
that what happened...
445
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,690
it was nobody's fault.
446
00:22:53,030 --> 00:22:54,510
what do you mean, "what happened"?
447
00:22:54,690 --> 00:22:59,150
you don't remember living
on this street before,do you?
448
00:22:59,330 --> 00:22:59,850
no.
449
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:04,570
well... there's a reason for that.
450
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:06,720
dylan?
451
00:23:11,850 --> 00:23:13,390
mom,i thought you left.
452
00:23:13,550 --> 00:23:14,920
i forgot my checkbook.
453
00:23:15,070 --> 00:23:19,460
could you go down and
find it for me? sure.
454
00:23:31,990 --> 00:23:36,200
you really should get your rest.
455
00:23:42,660 --> 00:23:44,420
hey. hi.
456
00:23:44,580 --> 00:23:47,520
hi. got your wig back,huh?
yeah. mm-hmm. good as new.
457
00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:51,160
listen,i thought we could put
the kids to bed early tonight,
458
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:52,550
if you know what i mean.
459
00:23:52,710 --> 00:23:55,830
i do,and i'm up for that.
460
00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:58,110
fantastic.
461
00:23:58,670 --> 00:24:00,300
i hope brandy won't get stuck late
462
00:24:00,450 --> 00:24:02,140
at cheerleading practice.
463
00:24:02,300 --> 00:24:04,650
oh,about brandy...
464
00:24:04,830 --> 00:24:05,860
bad news.
465
00:24:06,030 --> 00:24:07,150
what? what-what happened?
466
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,660
well,penny wanted to play
beauty school with the wig,
467
00:24:09,820 --> 00:24:14,320
and,well,let's just say she's
got no future as a stylist.
468
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:15,320
bad haircut,huh?
469
00:24:15,500 --> 00:24:16,500
oh.
470
00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:21,300
sounds like brandy might
get awful mad about that.
471
00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:25,120
brandy's history,tom. let her go.
472
00:24:28,470 --> 00:24:29,640
raphael!
473
00:24:30,990 --> 00:24:32,510
come here! raphael!
474
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:34,520
come home,boy!
475
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:37,470
raphael?!
476
00:24:38,190 --> 00:24:41,590
lee? is something
wrong? raphael got out.
477
00:24:41,750 --> 00:24:43,800
i
- i don't know what happened. i think he jumped the fence.
478
00:24:43,970 --> 00:24:47,390
oh. well,would you like me
to help you look for him?
479
00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:50,180
seriously? what a-what
about your party?
480
00:24:50,350 --> 00:24:53,020
oh. it's just a baby shower...
481
00:24:53,190 --> 00:24:55,330
that i'm throwing...
for my best friend.
482
00:24:55,500 --> 00:24:56,700
i can't-i can't ask you
to leave that. that's-
483
00:24:56,870 --> 00:25:00,070
oh,please. what are neighbors for?
484
00:25:00,230 --> 00:25:02,200
raphael?!
485
00:25:02,360 --> 00:25:04,730
here,puppy!
486
00:25:06,790 --> 00:25:10,480
i see you've taken down
all the pictures of rex.
487
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:13,170
well,i'm,uh,sorry if
that offends you,phyllis,
488
00:25:13,330 --> 00:25:16,510
but i didn't want orson to feel
uncomfortable in his new home.
489
00:25:16,680 --> 00:25:17,740
i see.
490
00:25:18,130 --> 00:25:21,770
you're trying to be considerate
of your husband's feelings.
491
00:25:21,930 --> 00:25:25,140
well,i'm glad that you're at
least trying to get it right
492
00:25:25,310 --> 00:25:27,540
the second time around.
493
00:25:27,710 --> 00:25:31,510
still,it must be awfully
hard on danielle and andrew
494
00:25:31,700 --> 00:25:35,430
to have their father's face
banished from their own home.
495
00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,810
he wasn't banished.
496
00:25:38,970 --> 00:25:40,400
by the way...
497
00:25:41,100 --> 00:25:44,070
where-where's danielle?
498
00:25:44,990 --> 00:25:48,080
she's,uh, at boarding school...
499
00:25:48,250 --> 00:25:49,560
in switzerland.
500
00:25:49,730 --> 00:25:52,040
switzerland?! is it asking too much
501
00:25:52,210 --> 00:25:55,140
to be told what continent
my granddaughter is on?!
502
00:25:55,300 --> 00:25:56,990
you are keeping my
grandchildren from me,
503
00:25:57,150 --> 00:25:58,780
and i don't know why.
504
00:25:58,940 --> 00:26:00,220
i'm going to mingle.
505
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:03,000
every time i start a
chat, you walk away.
506
00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:05,250
i mean,if you don't
want to talk to me,
507
00:26:05,420 --> 00:26:07,500
why did you invite me?
508
00:26:07,670 --> 00:26:10,510
it's a surprise
party, you daft woman!
509
00:26:10,670 --> 00:26:12,870
what makes you think i had
a hand in the guest list?
510
00:26:13,020 --> 00:26:16,620
so... you don't want me here?
511
00:26:16,820 --> 00:26:17,480
oh,for god sakes,phyllis,
512
00:26:17,650 --> 00:26:19,990
it's not as if we got
along when rex was alive.
513
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:21,840
what did i ever do to you
514
00:26:22,020 --> 00:26:24,800
but try to treat
you like a daughter?
515
00:26:24,970 --> 00:26:28,190
i even gave you my
mother's sable coat.
516
00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:30,800
you hated your mother.
but i loved that coat.
517
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,450
then i'll give it back to you.
518
00:26:32,620 --> 00:26:33,340
no,you keep it
519
00:26:33,500 --> 00:26:36,040
as a reminder of how hard i tried
520
00:26:36,220 --> 00:26:39,740
to make you like me.
521
00:26:43,650 --> 00:26:45,240
grandma, are you leaving already?
522
00:26:45,430 --> 00:26:46,520
i'm sorry,dear,
523
00:26:46,690 --> 00:26:50,970
but your mother has made it
impossible for me to stay.
524
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:57,170
where does she keep my sable coat?
525
00:26:57,340 --> 00:26:59,870
probably in her bedroom closet.
526
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:09,010
where is she going?
527
00:27:09,180 --> 00:27:11,600
she asked me where
your fur coat was.
528
00:27:12,210 --> 00:27:14,380
and-and you told her?!
529
00:27:17,590 --> 00:27:18,960
oh,crap.
530
00:27:29,030 --> 00:27:33,980
i guess you won't be needing
the breast pump i bought you.
531
00:27:34,015 --> 00:27:34,015
hey! so,can i take these?
532
00:27:38,480 --> 00:27:42,600
so... danielle is having a baby.
533
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,100
yes,and for the sake
of her reputation,
534
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:48,230
we've agreed to
pretend that it's mine.
535
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:49,530
i just hope that
536
00:27:49,700 --> 00:27:52,140
those swiss doctors
know what they're doing.
537
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:54,290
she's not in switzerland.
538
00:27:54,470 --> 00:27:57,220
she's at the sisters
of hope convent.
539
00:27:57,380 --> 00:27:59,960
look,phyllis,i'm sorry.
i know this is upsetting.
540
00:28:00,120 --> 00:28:02,790
actually,i'm thrilled.
541
00:28:03,090 --> 00:28:06,460
i'm going to be a great-grandma.
542
00:28:07,430 --> 00:28:09,250
well,um...
543
00:28:09,430 --> 00:28:12,800
technically,yes.
544
00:28:14,070 --> 00:28:16,280
what do you mean, "tecically"?
545
00:28:16,450 --> 00:28:19,520
we're saying that the
baby is mine and orson's,
546
00:28:19,680 --> 00:28:22,320
and if you hover around
like a grandmother,
547
00:28:22,470 --> 00:28:24,360
people will be suspicious.
548
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:27,360
you're not keeping
this baby from me,
549
00:28:27,540 --> 00:28:30,740
not if you don't want me to
tell those people downstairs
550
00:28:30,940 --> 00:28:32,700
whose child it really is.
551
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:36,250
you wouldn't. think of danielle!
552
00:28:36,530 --> 00:28:38,160
i wish you had.
553
00:28:38,340 --> 00:28:39,690
if you'd raised her properly,
554
00:28:39,860 --> 00:28:42,630
she wouldn't be pregnant
without ahusband.
555
00:28:42,810 --> 00:28:45,560
you think i don't know
i'm a failure as a parent?
556
00:28:45,750 --> 00:28:47,280
that's why this child
means so much to me.
557
00:28:47,450 --> 00:28:50,310
it's my second chance.
558
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:53,540
well,i hope the second time
around that you take my advice.
559
00:28:53,740 --> 00:28:58,130
i always said that you were
too strict with those kids.
560
00:28:58,300 --> 00:29:02,110
parenting tips from
you? that's rich.
561
00:29:02,420 --> 00:29:06,030
i was a wonderful mother to rex.
then why did he always avoid you?
562
00:29:06,190 --> 00:29:07,590
why were you barely ever here?
563
00:29:07,770 --> 00:29:12,070
because of you! he
knew you hated me.
564
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,290
oh,he was happy to
let you think that,
565
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,340
but he was the one who
dreaded your visits.
566
00:29:17,510 --> 00:29:19,260
oh.
567
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,590
oh. phyllis,wait!
568
00:29:25,450 --> 00:29:30,370
excuse me,everyone, but
i have something to say.
569
00:29:32,620 --> 00:29:35,000
what-what is it,grandma?
570
00:29:35,420 --> 00:29:37,120
i...
571
00:29:48,710 --> 00:29:50,860
i have to go,
572
00:29:51,030 --> 00:29:53,700
and i just wanted to
say how nice it was
573
00:29:53,870 --> 00:29:58,180
to see you all again
after so much time.
574
00:30:00,700 --> 00:30:02,790
good-bye.
575
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:13,270
thank you for the gift.
576
00:30:13,730 --> 00:30:15,360
you know,bree,
577
00:30:15,540 --> 00:30:19,350
you're not the only one who
would like a second chance.
578
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:29,180
nothing,huh? no. no,he's lost.
579
00:30:29,370 --> 00:30:30,190
and he doesn't know
this neighborhood.
580
00:30:30,350 --> 00:30:31,780
there's no way he's
gonna find his way home.
581
00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:34,340
oh,he will. come on.
you gotta keep believing.
582
00:30:34,530 --> 00:30:37,910
oh,crap! bob's home.
what am i gonna tell him?
583
00:30:38,090 --> 00:30:39,700
don't. we'll just keep looking.
584
00:30:39,870 --> 00:30:42,530
i have a feeling we're gonna
find that cute little guy.
585
00:30:42,730 --> 00:30:45,830
you-you are so nice to do this,
586
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,400
i mean,especially after the
way i acted when we first-
587
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:48,420
you know what?
don't worry about it.
588
00:30:48,590 --> 00:30:50,150
i'm gonna go inside
and get us some water,
589
00:30:50,300 --> 00:30:53,450
and then we're gonna
just keep looking. okay.
590
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:06,400
lee! i can't find raphael.
you seen him anywhere?
591
00:31:06,580 --> 00:31:08,960
oh,bob,prom-promise
you won't hate me.
592
00:31:09,140 --> 00:31:12,380
what are you talking about?
what happened? raphael got out.
593
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:13,420
he got out? yeah.
594
00:31:13,580 --> 00:31:15,900
he doesn't know the neighborhood. i
know he doesn't know the neighborhood.
595
00:31:19,620 --> 00:31:21,160
what are you talking
about? i know-i don't-
596
00:31:21,350 --> 00:31:24,690
how are you looking for him? well,susan,she
- she's getting water.
597
00:31:26,630 --> 00:31:28,410
oh,wait, he's right there.
598
00:31:33,630 --> 00:31:36,220
oh! oh,my god!
599
00:31:46,550 --> 00:31:48,850
what was our dog
doing in your garage?
600
00:31:49,010 --> 00:31:51,040
i have no idea.
601
00:31:57,410 --> 00:31:59,160
what?
602
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:07,530
did you get a chance
603
00:32:07,700 --> 00:32:09,860
to,uh, napalm the jungle yet?
604
00:32:10,030 --> 00:32:13,250
yep. and?
605
00:32:13,410 --> 00:32:16,170
all quiet on the southern front.
606
00:32:17,710 --> 00:32:20,100
gaby,we have got
to be more careful.
607
00:32:20,270 --> 00:32:22,310
absolutely.
608
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:24,970
it's kind of exciting, though.
609
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:27,450
what is? playing with fire,
610
00:32:27,620 --> 00:32:29,270
almost getting
burned but not quite.
611
00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:30,290
don't be thinking like that.
612
00:32:30,470 --> 00:32:33,040
if victor catches us,
he'll kill us both.
613
00:32:33,200 --> 00:32:36,060
that's what's so exciting.
614
00:32:37,650 --> 00:32:38,810
hi.
615
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:40,030
hi.
616
00:32:40,210 --> 00:32:42,010
oh,my-excuse me.
617
00:32:44,390 --> 00:32:46,670
mmm,that's,um...
618
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:49,890
an interesting
cologne you're wearing.
619
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:51,440
my wife gave it to me.
620
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:55,460
it's got,uh, anise root,fennel.
621
00:32:55,630 --> 00:32:57,170
what,you like it?
622
00:32:58,010 --> 00:33:00,260
yeah,it's just,um...
623
00:33:00,550 --> 00:33:04,810
i don't know... weirdly familiar.
624
00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:15,840
crab cake?
625
00:33:16,010 --> 00:33:19,190
uh,yeah. thanks.
626
00:33:21,980 --> 00:33:23,000
crab cake?
627
00:33:30,060 --> 00:33:32,690
crab cake? oh,thank you.
628
00:33:37,460 --> 00:33:38,900
crab cake?
629
00:33:39,070 --> 00:33:40,550
thank you.
630
00:34:01,460 --> 00:34:04,360
kids are asleep.
631
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:07,370
i'm not.
632
00:34:09,590 --> 00:34:12,710
whatcha got back there?
just a little present.
633
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:17,760
say hello to brandy's
even sluttier sister...
634
00:34:17,930 --> 00:34:19,740
candy.
635
00:34:20,790 --> 00:34:22,020
what are you doing?
636
00:34:22,200 --> 00:34:23,070
well, i just-i just thought
637
00:34:23,250 --> 00:34:24,390
since we had so
much fun last night,
638
00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:27,370
maybe we can have
a little more fun.
639
00:34:27,540 --> 00:34:29,220
and that's only possible
640
00:34:29,400 --> 00:34:32,590
when you're pretending
i'm someone else?
641
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:37,140
well, you have to pretend,too.
642
00:34:37,750 --> 00:34:39,270
what?
643
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:41,130
this...
644
00:34:41,300 --> 00:34:46,280
is me,tom, not brandy or candy.
645
00:34:46,460 --> 00:34:49,790
it's just your wife,lynette.
am i not enough for you?
646
00:34:49,970 --> 00:34:51,670
what are you getting so mad for?
647
00:34:51,840 --> 00:34:53,340
the first wig was your idea.
648
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:56,070
yeah,because i'm bald.
649
00:34:56,220 --> 00:34:58,460
and i know that that's
a big old turnoff,
650
00:34:58,630 --> 00:35:00,590
but,you know, i can't help it.
651
00:35:00,770 --> 00:35:01,560
i have cancer.
652
00:35:01,730 --> 00:35:04,210
yes,i know. i hear
about it all the time.
653
00:35:04,380 --> 00:35:07,940
can you blame me for wanting
to escape every once in a while?
654
00:35:08,110 --> 00:35:11,030
escape from me,you mean? yes!
655
00:35:11,900 --> 00:35:13,340
you know why last
night was so much fun?
656
00:35:13,510 --> 00:35:17,220
because i got to make love
to someone who wasn't sick.
657
00:35:17,390 --> 00:35:19,610
look,i know,i know,i'm not
supposed to say this stuff.
658
00:35:19,770 --> 00:35:21,540
i have to be the heroic
husband who listens
659
00:35:21,710 --> 00:35:23,770
and holds you when you cry
and never cries himself.
660
00:35:23,930 --> 00:35:27,940
but this affects me,too.
661
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:31,040
well... i know that.
662
00:35:31,180 --> 00:35:32,240
you do? yeah.
663
00:35:32,420 --> 00:35:33,360
how?
664
00:35:33,740 --> 00:35:34,940
since this whole thing began,
665
00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:39,000
have you ever once
asked me how i'm doing?
666
00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:49,290
oh... my god.
667
00:35:49,460 --> 00:35:52,620
i haven't,have i?
668
00:35:57,830 --> 00:36:00,380
i am one of those...
669
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:06,490
whiny,self-involved sick people.
670
00:36:08,230 --> 00:36:08,930
i didn't say that.
671
00:36:09,090 --> 00:36:11,370
no,i am. it's been months,
672
00:36:11,550 --> 00:36:14,480
and i have barely thought
about what you're going through.
673
00:36:14,570 --> 00:36:15,690
it's okay. you're
going through something-
674
00:36:15,870 --> 00:36:17,950
will you stop being so heroic?!
675
00:36:18,110 --> 00:36:20,920
i'm a cancer bitch!
676
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:28,780
what?
677
00:36:29,810 --> 00:36:31,770
i'm not gonna argue with you.
678
00:36:34,220 --> 00:36:35,700
you suck.
679
00:36:41,710 --> 00:36:42,810
well...
680
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:47,300
i guess i could give candy a whirl.
681
00:36:47,600 --> 00:36:49,930
are the kids really asleep?
682
00:36:50,600 --> 00:36:53,740
'cause i think she
might be a screamer.
683
00:36:57,540 --> 00:37:01,000
actually, if we're gonna pretend...
684
00:37:01,270 --> 00:37:03,240
how about tonight
685
00:37:03,420 --> 00:37:06,120
i'm not a hero
686
00:37:06,290 --> 00:37:08,900
and you are not a cancer patient?
687
00:37:09,340 --> 00:37:13,670
we'll just be tom and lynette,
688
00:37:14,030 --> 00:37:15,970
see what happens.
689
00:37:17,290 --> 00:37:19,650
oh,i'd like that.
690
00:37:28,780 --> 00:37:30,430
how's bob's suit?
691
00:37:32,070 --> 00:37:34,500
ruined. oh. what if we
take it to my cleaners?
692
00:37:34,690 --> 00:37:36,320
susan,that paint's
not coming out...
693
00:37:36,490 --> 00:37:38,700
so we're buying him a new suit...
694
00:37:38,980 --> 00:37:41,080
for 2,000 bucks.
695
00:37:41,260 --> 00:37:42,190
$2,000?
696
00:37:42,370 --> 00:37:44,090
well,according to
lee, it's a dolce.
697
00:37:44,260 --> 00:37:48,710
i don't know what that means, but
he said it six times. that's crazy.
698
00:37:48,890 --> 00:37:50,600
no,what's crazy is i'm about to buy
699
00:37:50,770 --> 00:37:52,200
the most expensive suit of my life,
700
00:37:52,380 --> 00:37:53,860
and i'll never wear it.
701
00:37:54,200 --> 00:37:56,470
oh. i just wanted them to like me.
702
00:37:56,650 --> 00:37:58,230
well,they don't.
703
00:37:58,390 --> 00:38:00,530
lee said that six times,too.
704
00:38:00,710 --> 00:38:03,620
there must be some way
i can apologize to them.
705
00:38:03,780 --> 00:38:05,410
we can't afford any
more of your apologies.
706
00:38:05,590 --> 00:38:08,650
i know. uh,maybe if i
- damn it,susan, let it go,okay?
707
00:38:08,830 --> 00:38:11,320
i asked you to before,and you
didn't,and look what happened.
708
00:38:11,490 --> 00:38:14,840
so i'll ask you
again. just let it go.
709
00:38:15,010 --> 00:38:16,600
mike,wait. we should
talk about this.
710
00:38:16,770 --> 00:38:17,930
i'm going to bed.
711
00:38:18,100 --> 00:38:22,190
i've gotta work tomorrow.
i'm buying a suit.
712
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:38,570
grandma!
713
00:38:39,890 --> 00:38:44,130
what are you doing here? you
needn't be embarrassed, dear.
714
00:38:44,300 --> 00:38:47,010
your mother's told me everything.
715
00:38:47,170 --> 00:38:49,550
it's great to see you.
716
00:38:49,710 --> 00:38:52,340
i hate this place.
it's like baby jail.
717
00:38:52,530 --> 00:38:56,200
oh. well,that's what i've
come to talk to you about.
718
00:38:56,370 --> 00:38:59,260
perhaps it's time for you to leave.
719
00:39:04,110 --> 00:39:05,610
dylan?
720
00:39:06,700 --> 00:39:07,980
is that you?
721
00:39:08,140 --> 00:39:11,020
we have-have to talk.
722
00:39:21,010 --> 00:39:22,110
hey.
723
00:39:23,110 --> 00:39:24,990
i'm glad you're home.
724
00:39:25,830 --> 00:39:28,570
i wanted to talk to
you about aunt lily.
725
00:39:28,750 --> 00:39:30,640
what about her?
726
00:39:31,830 --> 00:39:36,610
it was so weird. she called me
into her room this afternoon.
727
00:39:36,780 --> 00:39:37,830
she started saying she knew why
728
00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:40,480
i didn't remember living
on this street before.
729
00:39:40,660 --> 00:39:42,580
oh,sweetie.
730
00:39:42,750 --> 00:39:45,420
your aunt lily is fading fast.
731
00:39:45,590 --> 00:39:48,750
half the time,she doesn't
know what she's saying.
732
00:39:51,140 --> 00:39:52,830
was that her?
733
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:56,590
no,i just checked on
her. she's sleeping.
734
00:39:57,140 --> 00:39:59,440
you know,you have that
recital in two weeks.
735
00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:02,250
shouldn't you be practicing?
736
00:40:07,570 --> 00:40:09,570
dylan.
737
00:40:11,840 --> 00:40:14,300
please!
738
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:24,130
pests-
739
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:28,400
they come in all shapes and sizes
740
00:41:28,570 --> 00:41:32,780
and disrupt our lives
in a variety of ways.
741
00:41:33,950 --> 00:41:37,040
at first, they're merely annoying,
742
00:41:38,640 --> 00:41:42,060
and we do our best to ignore them.
743
00:41:42,430 --> 00:41:43,600
home in my own bed...
744
00:41:43,780 --> 00:41:46,970
but if we don't
take them seriously,
745
00:41:47,140 --> 00:41:51,200
they can become quite dangerous.
746
00:41:52,970 --> 00:41:54,160
for some,
747
00:41:54,330 --> 00:41:58,130
death seems to be
the easiest solution.
748
00:42:04,590 --> 00:42:07,510
but the problem with pests
749
00:42:07,700 --> 00:42:10,570
is that what they leave behind...
750
00:42:10,740 --> 00:42:13,680
is just as dangerous.
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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