1
00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:02,918
So, what's new, Eddie?
Anything exciting?
2
00:01:03,754 --> 00:01:06,689
Yeah, we just got those new Nike
SasQuatch drivers into the store,
3
00:01:06,791 --> 00:01:08,156
so that's been kind of cool.
4
00:01:08,258 --> 00:01:11,921
Let me rephrase the question.
You been crushing any pussy?
5
00:01:12,729 --> 00:01:15,129
No, Dad,
I haven't been crushing any pussy.
6
00:01:15,232 --> 00:01:16,790
Seriously, who you booming?
7
00:01:16,900 --> 00:01:18,629
Dad, seriously,
I'm not "booming" anybody,
8
00:01:18,735 --> 00:01:20,669
I'm just kind of dating a little right now.
9
00:01:20,770 --> 00:01:22,795
I don't get you.
You refuse to get married,
10
00:01:22,906 --> 00:01:26,034
yet you don't really enjoy the fruits
of bachelor life.
11
00:01:26,142 --> 00:01:29,111
It's like you're living
in a purgatory over here.
12
00:01:29,211 --> 00:01:31,008
Dad, I don't refuse to get married.
13
00:01:31,113 --> 00:01:33,707
It's just I wanna do it
with the right person, okay?
14
00:01:33,816 --> 00:01:35,909
I'm sorry to ride you, pal.
I just want you to be happy.
15
00:01:36,018 --> 00:01:38,452
I hate you to be alone
on Valentine's Day.
16
00:01:38,586 --> 00:01:40,281
I won't be. I'm going to a wedding.
17
00:01:40,388 --> 00:01:41,650
Oh. Now you're talking.
18
00:01:41,756 --> 00:01:43,951
Weddings are a great place
to meet women.
19
00:01:44,058 --> 00:01:45,753
Who's getting married?
20
00:01:45,860 --> 00:01:46,918
Jodi.
21
00:01:48,263 --> 00:01:49,321
Jodi?
22
00:01:49,831 --> 00:01:51,389
What are you...
23
00:01:51,900 --> 00:01:52,867
What?
24
00:01:52,967 --> 00:01:54,662
- Are you serious?
- Dad. Come on.
25
00:01:54,801 --> 00:01:58,464
- Eddie, don't do this to yourself.
- We're still friends.
26
00:01:58,572 --> 00:02:00,972
I'm just saying, watching
your ex-fiancée walk down the aisle
27
00:02:01,074 --> 00:02:03,804
on Valentine's Day might sting a little.
28
00:02:04,378 --> 00:02:06,369
No. We're way past that.
29
00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:09,074
Really. I mean, if anything,
it's gonna be cathartic.
30
00:02:09,182 --> 00:02:10,376
Give me a little closure.
31
00:02:10,483 --> 00:02:14,180
I think it's flat-out wrong,
but maybe I'm just old-fashioned.
32
00:02:14,287 --> 00:02:16,721
Come on, skip the wedding.
You and me, we'll head to Vegas.
33
00:02:16,822 --> 00:02:19,655
Maybe we'll get lucky and tag-team
a couple of broads.
34
00:02:19,759 --> 00:02:21,727
Yeah, I have to say the idea
of a tag team
35
00:02:21,827 --> 00:02:24,660
with my 77-year-old father
is extremely tempting,
36
00:02:24,763 --> 00:02:27,163
but I already RSVP'd, so...
I appreciate the offer.
37
00:02:27,265 --> 00:02:28,232
Come on, come on.
38
00:02:35,607 --> 00:02:37,234
Hey, can I get a beer, please?
39
00:02:37,342 --> 00:02:40,709
- And I will get a Cosmopolitan.
- No problem.
40
00:02:40,811 --> 00:02:44,110
Cosmopolitan?
Isn't that sort of a female-type drink?
41
00:02:44,215 --> 00:02:46,706
Oh yeah. Yeah.
Tammy turned me on to them.
42
00:02:46,817 --> 00:02:49,479
And I pretty much drink
what she drinks, so...
43
00:02:49,587 --> 00:02:50,986
Oh. Really?
44
00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:53,852
Yeah. Happy wife, happy life.
45
00:02:56,125 --> 00:02:58,491
That's a good one.
"Happy wife, happy life." I like that.
46
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:01,257
- Rhymes. Must be true.
- Yeah. Thank you.
47
00:03:02,098 --> 00:03:04,760
Wow. Look at Jodi.
She looks great, huh?
48
00:03:05,969 --> 00:03:07,061
Yeah, she looks really good.
49
00:03:07,170 --> 00:03:09,195
And she's got the kind of looks
that are gonna last, you know?
50
00:03:09,304 --> 00:03:10,566
Look at her mom.
51
00:03:10,672 --> 00:03:12,299
Oh, what a cougar.
52
00:03:14,443 --> 00:03:16,274
Some good genes there.
53
00:03:16,578 --> 00:03:18,011
Hey. Come on.
54
00:03:18,580 --> 00:03:21,947
Look, you had five years to pull
the trigger with Jodi, okay?
55
00:03:22,050 --> 00:03:24,712
And if I recall, you had plenty
of reasons for calling it off.
56
00:03:24,819 --> 00:03:27,253
Yeah. I know. I'm just trying
to remember what they were.
57
00:03:27,355 --> 00:03:29,755
God, there was a million of them.
58
00:03:30,424 --> 00:03:34,588
"She doesn't like my fantasy football
league. She never shares her food.
59
00:03:34,695 --> 00:03:36,458
"She doesn't try anything new."
60
00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:38,532
Man, what are you...
That's not my voice.
61
00:03:38,633 --> 00:03:41,124
That's you. That's exactly you.
That's spot-on you.
62
00:03:41,234 --> 00:03:42,792
I don't sound like an Italian mouse.
63
00:03:43,336 --> 00:03:44,303
Little bit.
64
00:03:44,404 --> 00:03:45,996
I do not-a talk-a like this.
65
00:03:46,106 --> 00:03:49,940
Oh, yeah? Okay, remember this one?
"She hates-a Caddyshack-a."
66
00:03:50,043 --> 00:03:52,443
Yeah, and you know why
she hates-a Caddyshack?
67
00:03:52,579 --> 00:03:54,843
'Cause she said that
the gopher looked too fake.
68
00:03:54,980 --> 00:03:56,242
Come on, that would bother you.
69
00:03:56,348 --> 00:03:57,713
Oh, totally. Totally.
70
00:03:57,816 --> 00:04:00,341
Throw away a chance at happiness
because the gopher looks fake.
71
00:04:00,452 --> 00:04:02,352
Come on, man.
You've never been married.
72
00:04:02,454 --> 00:04:03,512
You're 40 years old.
73
00:04:03,622 --> 00:04:06,523
Eddie, at some point you're just gonna
have to close your eyes and jump.
74
00:04:06,625 --> 00:04:09,150
I did it. I'm the happiest guy I know.
75
00:04:09,260 --> 00:04:11,524
- Hey, Eddie.
- Oh, hey.
76
00:04:11,629 --> 00:04:13,221
- How are you?
- I'm good. How are you doing?
77
00:04:13,331 --> 00:04:14,992
Good, good. Are you sad?
78
00:04:15,099 --> 00:04:16,088
No.
79
00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:17,724
Oh, good. Good.
80
00:04:18,436 --> 00:04:20,768
Mac, come on, honey, we gotta go.
Everyone's already at our table.
81
00:04:20,872 --> 00:04:22,271
- Lead the way, gorgeous.
- Is that for me?
82
00:04:22,373 --> 00:04:25,137
- No, that's his.
- Oh. Well, it's mine now.
83
00:04:27,744 --> 00:04:29,177
What table you at, Eddie?
84
00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:32,840
I am at table 34.
85
00:04:32,949 --> 00:04:35,179
- Oh, too bad. We're at 11.
- We're at 11.
86
00:04:35,285 --> 00:04:36,752
- Okay. See you later.
- All right.
87
00:04:36,853 --> 00:04:38,013
- Save me a dance.
- Okay.
88
00:04:38,121 --> 00:04:39,145
- Don't forget.
- I won't.
89
00:04:39,255 --> 00:04:41,314
- Mac, come on.
- Bye. Gotta go.
90
00:04:52,034 --> 00:04:53,592
Cheers!
91
00:04:55,370 --> 00:04:56,928
And that was that!
92
00:05:08,316 --> 00:05:09,715
- Excuse me.
- Yeah.
93
00:05:09,817 --> 00:05:12,445
Hey, are you running this whole thing?
94
00:05:12,686 --> 00:05:14,381
Oh, sure.
95
00:05:14,488 --> 00:05:16,353
Walk up to the first homo you see
96
00:05:16,457 --> 00:05:18,823
and assume he's
the wedding coordinator, right? Nice.
97
00:05:18,926 --> 00:05:21,394
- No, no. I didn't mean that.
- Nice stereotype, buddy, nice.
98
00:05:21,495 --> 00:05:23,793
Did I hear someone
say "wedding coordinator"?
99
00:05:23,897 --> 00:05:25,330
That would be moi.
100
00:05:25,431 --> 00:05:26,898
So, how can I help you?
101
00:05:26,899 --> 00:05:27,297
So, how can I help you?
102
00:05:33,639 --> 00:05:37,234
I think there's been a mistake, 'cause
I'm at table 34, but that's the kids' table.
103
00:05:37,343 --> 00:05:41,279
Oh, oh. That's not the kids' table.
That's the singles' table. Enjoy.
104
00:05:49,354 --> 00:05:51,413
Wife couldn't make it, huh?
105
00:05:51,990 --> 00:05:53,218
No wife.
106
00:05:53,859 --> 00:05:55,292
Oh. Divorced?
107
00:05:57,361 --> 00:05:58,350
No.
108
00:05:58,629 --> 00:05:59,994
Girlfriend?
109
00:06:01,365 --> 00:06:03,333
Kind of in-between right now.
110
00:06:03,434 --> 00:06:06,528
Sort of playing the field and
keeping my options open, you know?
111
00:06:06,637 --> 00:06:08,229
Hey, mister.
112
00:06:08,339 --> 00:06:10,034
- What?
- Are you gay?
113
00:06:11,040 --> 00:06:12,974
- No.
- Yes! You owe me 10 bucks.
114
00:06:13,076 --> 00:06:15,544
Hold on, hold on. Are you bi?
115
00:06:16,479 --> 00:06:18,174
No. No, I'm not bi.
116
00:06:18,281 --> 00:06:20,374
See? It's a tie. We both lose.
117
00:06:20,483 --> 00:06:22,917
Are you like a widow or something?
118
00:06:23,420 --> 00:06:25,888
Yeah. I'm a widow. That's... Yeah.
119
00:06:25,988 --> 00:06:28,422
- Sorry.
- He's full of it. He's gay.
120
00:06:28,891 --> 00:06:30,483
No. I'm not gay.
121
00:06:30,692 --> 00:06:33,490
- Let's play five-in-five, then.
- What is that?
122
00:06:33,595 --> 00:06:35,927
It's where I ask you five questions
in five seconds.
123
00:06:36,031 --> 00:06:38,124
If you're telling the truth,
then you shouldn't have to think.
124
00:06:38,233 --> 00:06:40,064
Yeah. I don't wanna play your game.
Sorry.
125
00:06:40,168 --> 00:06:41,760
- Quick. How'd your wife die?
- Murdered.
126
00:06:41,869 --> 00:06:43,063
- How?
- Ice pick.
127
00:06:43,171 --> 00:06:44,331
- They get the guy?
- Yeah.
128
00:06:44,439 --> 00:06:45,906
- What was his name?
- Ronald.
129
00:06:46,007 --> 00:06:47,497
Brad Pitt, Russell Crowe. Who's hotter?
130
00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:48,734
Brad Pitt.
131
00:06:48,943 --> 00:06:50,240
- What? I thought you...
- Yeah, we got you.
132
00:06:50,344 --> 00:06:52,938
No, I thought you meant
who's hotter career-wise.
133
00:06:53,047 --> 00:06:54,378
You're totally busted.
134
00:06:54,482 --> 00:06:55,915
- Gay.
- Gay.
135
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:57,506
You're gay.
136
00:06:57,617 --> 00:07:00,108
And I just want you all to know that
137
00:07:00,954 --> 00:07:03,616
Jodi is the only woman I've ever loved.
138
00:07:04,291 --> 00:07:09,194
And I wanna thank her for letting me
into her fairytale life.
139
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:17,399
And that's not to say I didn't have to
kiss a few frogs before I met my prince.
140
00:07:18,103 --> 00:07:20,867
Cantrow! Did you hear that?
141
00:07:20,973 --> 00:07:26,343
But seriously, Michael has been
the answer to all my prayers.
142
00:07:26,444 --> 00:07:31,313
And quite frankly, he's the only guy
my father ever approved of.
143
00:07:32,717 --> 00:07:35,379
And that's because he's
the first guy she ever went out with
144
00:07:35,487 --> 00:07:37,887
who wasn't a total asshole.
145
00:07:40,624 --> 00:07:43,593
All right, all right, okay.
Look, thank you all for coming.
146
00:07:43,694 --> 00:07:45,321
We're gonna have some fun
today, right?
147
00:08:37,411 --> 00:08:40,244
Stop him, he's got my purse!
Somebody stop him!
148
00:08:40,380 --> 00:08:42,746
Hey, stop! Hey, stop! Stop!
149
00:08:42,849 --> 00:08:44,749
Fuck off, man!
This has nothing to do with you!
150
00:08:44,851 --> 00:08:46,341
Calm down, buddy, give me the purse.
151
00:08:46,452 --> 00:08:50,149
Back off, man! I swear to God,
I'll cut your fucking head off!
152
00:08:50,256 --> 00:08:52,121
- Give me the...
- I will snap you!
153
00:08:52,225 --> 00:08:57,561
No, man, that's mine. It's mine!
Hey, man, man, it's mine. It's mine!
154
00:08:57,663 --> 00:08:59,290
It's mine!
155
00:09:03,035 --> 00:09:04,332
Shit.
156
00:09:04,436 --> 00:09:05,698
Shit!
157
00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:07,862
Oh, God, are you okay?
158
00:09:07,973 --> 00:09:09,463
No, it stings. He Maced me.
159
00:09:09,575 --> 00:09:11,543
It's just my perfume.
160
00:09:11,642 --> 00:09:13,075
Shit, I can't believe this!
161
00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:16,305
I've got everything in there.
My credit card, my wallet.
162
00:09:16,414 --> 00:09:19,781
Everything is in that bag.
My license, my keys,
163
00:09:19,884 --> 00:09:22,045
my life.
164
00:09:22,587 --> 00:09:24,384
Yeah, that guy, he's like a freak.
165
00:09:24,488 --> 00:09:27,184
I mean, I just... I tried to stop him, but...
166
00:09:27,290 --> 00:09:28,655
Sorry. I almost had him.
167
00:09:28,758 --> 00:09:31,090
No, no, it's not your fault.
168
00:09:32,963 --> 00:09:36,524
I should have, like, punched him
or something. I'm sorry.
169
00:09:39,836 --> 00:09:44,034
Thank you.
It was really cool of you to get involved.
170
00:09:51,647 --> 00:09:54,844
- Here. Let me help you with this stuff.
- Oh, thank you.
171
00:09:58,519 --> 00:10:00,783
Oh. I'm sorry. I don't wanna...
172
00:10:00,888 --> 00:10:03,254
I don't know what the protocol there is.
173
00:10:03,358 --> 00:10:05,826
It's okay. I got it. No problem.
174
00:10:05,927 --> 00:10:08,225
Okay. Nice undergarment there.
So, there you go.
175
00:10:08,329 --> 00:10:09,523
So, you live around here?
176
00:10:09,631 --> 00:10:13,897
Yes, I do. Yeah, I do.
I actually live a couple blocks down.
177
00:10:14,001 --> 00:10:17,061
- Over by Bay City Sports?
- Bay City Sports? I...
178
00:10:17,170 --> 00:10:21,334
Yeah, a big sports... Sort of sporting
goods emporium, over on Van Ness.
179
00:10:21,441 --> 00:10:23,966
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think I know that.
- I actually own the place, so...
180
00:10:24,077 --> 00:10:26,637
- Oh, cool.
- Yeah. Yeah, it's fun.
181
00:10:26,779 --> 00:10:29,680
- That's great. Oh, this is me.
- That's you? Okay.
182
00:10:30,683 --> 00:10:32,412
I don't have any money.
He took my wallet.
183
00:10:32,518 --> 00:10:33,780
Wait a minute. Here. I got it.
184
00:10:33,886 --> 00:10:35,945
Oh, no. I wasn't saying it to...
You've done enough. Really.
185
00:10:36,055 --> 00:10:38,751
No. Here. Please. Please.
I got a five-spot. Here you go.
186
00:10:38,858 --> 00:10:41,884
Go ahead. Take it. I got like hundreds
of dollars in the bank, so I'm good.
187
00:10:41,993 --> 00:10:45,360
- I can't take it, then.
- No, I'm kidding. I do fine.
188
00:10:45,463 --> 00:10:48,694
I mean, I'm not rich, I'm comfortable.
I'm good. Go ahead. Get on the thing.
189
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:50,859
- Got it.
- All right.
190
00:10:52,003 --> 00:10:53,197
- Take it easy.
- Thank you.
191
00:10:53,304 --> 00:10:54,771
All right.
192
00:10:54,873 --> 00:10:57,398
Hey, what's your name?
193
00:10:57,508 --> 00:10:58,566
Lila!
194
00:10:58,676 --> 00:11:02,578
Lila, I'm Eddie! Eddie... Eddie Cantrow!
195
00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:03,738
Okay!
196
00:11:05,115 --> 00:11:06,207
Shit.
197
00:11:16,359 --> 00:11:18,224
Oh, yeah. This is your girl, Eddie.
198
00:11:18,327 --> 00:11:21,819
I've always said you can tell a lot
about a woman by her panties.
199
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,455
When have you ever said that?
200
00:11:23,566 --> 00:11:26,535
I've said it like a mantra.
You just don't pay attention.
201
00:11:26,635 --> 00:11:27,602
So, did you get her digits?
202
00:11:27,703 --> 00:11:29,068
No, I didn't get her digits.
203
00:11:29,171 --> 00:11:31,264
The girl had just gotten mugged.
I wasn't gonna hit on her.
204
00:11:31,373 --> 00:11:36,333
Wait a second. She's hot, friendly,
it's Valentine's Day, she's all alone...
205
00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:39,972
She has David Bowie, your all-time
favorite musician, pasted on her undies.
206
00:11:40,082 --> 00:11:41,344
And you don't think to ask her out?
207
00:11:41,482 --> 00:11:43,347
It was... A lot was going on.
208
00:11:43,451 --> 00:11:46,716
I mean, I had just gotten sprayed
in the eye by a very sting-y perfume.
209
00:11:46,821 --> 00:11:47,981
I was disoriented. I was...
210
00:11:48,089 --> 00:11:51,388
And it never occurred to you
to chase the trolley down the street,
211
00:11:51,492 --> 00:11:54,518
waving her underwear
and calling out her name?
212
00:11:54,628 --> 00:11:57,563
No! I mean, look,
this girl was incredibly gorgeous.
213
00:11:57,664 --> 00:11:59,757
There's no way in hell she's single.
214
00:11:59,866 --> 00:12:02,733
I'm sure she's got, like, a dot-com
billionaire boyfriend.
215
00:12:02,836 --> 00:12:04,565
A billionaire
who makes her do the wash
216
00:12:04,671 --> 00:12:06,434
at a laundromat on Valentine's Day.
217
00:12:06,539 --> 00:12:10,168
Come on, Eddie! She was available.
You wimped out.
218
00:12:11,144 --> 00:12:12,839
Oh, that's my wife.
219
00:12:13,112 --> 00:12:14,204
Okay.
220
00:12:16,148 --> 00:12:17,479
Hey, honey.
221
00:12:17,683 --> 00:12:18,741
Yeah.
222
00:12:19,718 --> 00:12:22,209
Okay, sure, you got it. Right away.
223
00:12:22,321 --> 00:12:24,881
All right, guys. I'm on husband duty.
224
00:12:25,224 --> 00:12:27,158
Aunt Flo just arrived at our house.
225
00:12:27,258 --> 00:12:28,452
Who's Aunt Flo?
226
00:12:28,559 --> 00:12:31,050
Tammy just got her period,
so gotta pick her up some Maxibons.
227
00:12:31,162 --> 00:12:34,689
Is there anything that she asks you to
do that you don't jump to attention for?
228
00:12:34,799 --> 00:12:38,758
No. Why? I wanna make her happy.
That's why I grew out the bangs.
229
00:12:40,104 --> 00:12:42,072
Sorry you let that girl go, Eddie.
Sounded like a keeper.
230
00:12:42,172 --> 00:12:44,003
- Thank you, makes me feel better.
- You're welcome.
231
00:12:44,107 --> 00:12:45,165
He speaketh the truth.
232
00:12:45,275 --> 00:12:49,371
All you had to do was ask her out
for coffee or a goddamn piece of pie.
233
00:12:49,479 --> 00:12:52,243
Oh, pie. Yeah, pie really would've
clinched the deal, Dad.
234
00:12:52,349 --> 00:12:54,977
I'm just saying, when you
happen on ass-floss like these,
235
00:12:55,085 --> 00:12:56,416
you don't let them get away.
236
00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:59,114
I'm late for a root canal. Be good.
237
00:13:04,326 --> 00:13:07,159
All right, Ralphie, let's go.
238
00:13:07,263 --> 00:13:09,197
Shit. Eddie, what am I doing wrong?
239
00:13:09,298 --> 00:13:12,290
All right. First of all, don't ever swing
at the first pitch. You gotta be patient.
240
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,994
- But the ball was right down the middle.
- It was a little high and inside.
241
00:13:15,103 --> 00:13:17,264
Hey, pussydick, can you break away
for nine holes?
242
00:13:17,372 --> 00:13:18,634
You know what?
I'm in the middle of something, Dad.
243
00:13:18,740 --> 00:13:20,731
Listen, everybody wants
to hit homers, right?
244
00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:22,776
But the fact is,
a walk's as good as a hit.
245
00:13:22,877 --> 00:13:23,678
- It is?
- Yeah.
246
00:13:23,978 --> 00:13:25,673
That's the worst piece of advice
I ever heard.
247
00:13:25,780 --> 00:13:27,611
- Swing at the next one, slugger.
- No, wait.
248
00:13:27,714 --> 00:13:29,079
You want me to swing or wait?
249
00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:31,515
Listen to me, I'm older than him. Swing!
250
00:13:31,618 --> 00:13:32,744
- Wait.
- Swing!
251
00:13:32,853 --> 00:13:35,378
No, Dad, now you're screwing him up.
252
00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:38,457
Oh, my God.
253
00:13:38,559 --> 00:13:40,254
- Dad, that's her.
- Who?
254
00:13:40,360 --> 00:13:42,920
That's the girl I was telling you
about, Lila. You gotta get out of here.
255
00:13:43,029 --> 00:13:46,863
- Go. Go, go, go.
- Relax. I'm not gonna blow your cover.
256
00:13:47,633 --> 00:13:50,363
But it's nice to put a face to the panties.
257
00:13:50,469 --> 00:13:51,527
Where did you get those?
258
00:13:51,671 --> 00:13:55,903
Will you calm down? They're not for me.
I was just gonna bring them by the club!
259
00:13:56,008 --> 00:13:58,203
What?
A guy can't brag about his own kid?
260
00:13:58,310 --> 00:14:01,802
- No, Dad. Dad.
- Give me. Give me.
261
00:14:01,913 --> 00:14:04,245
- Hi.
- Hey.
262
00:14:05,650 --> 00:14:08,676
I was in the neighborhood
looking for a fleece.
263
00:14:08,820 --> 00:14:09,980
What do you think?
264
00:14:10,088 --> 00:14:11,646
Excellent taste.
265
00:14:12,256 --> 00:14:13,723
That's my dad.
266
00:14:13,958 --> 00:14:15,858
Hi, Dad.
267
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:18,625
Nice to meet you, Lila.
268
00:14:19,597 --> 00:14:21,189
How do you know my name?
269
00:14:21,298 --> 00:14:23,027
Okay, cat's out of the bag.
270
00:14:23,834 --> 00:14:25,665
My son found your panties
on the sidewalk,
271
00:14:25,769 --> 00:14:28,567
and we've been talking
about you all week.
272
00:14:28,671 --> 00:14:31,367
Eddie, give her back
her undies, will you?
273
00:14:33,309 --> 00:14:36,710
Here you go.
I was watching those for you,
274
00:14:36,813 --> 00:14:41,147
hoping you'd come in and claim them.
It worked out.
275
00:14:41,251 --> 00:14:43,082
- Okay.
- We're good now.
276
00:14:43,452 --> 00:14:45,511
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
277
00:14:45,921 --> 00:14:47,980
Okay. My work here is done.
278
00:14:49,191 --> 00:14:50,488
Let me go.
279
00:14:51,793 --> 00:14:52,782
He's so cute.
280
00:14:52,895 --> 00:14:54,886
Yeah, he is. He's a cutie.
281
00:14:56,398 --> 00:14:58,389
- So, what do you think?
- Well, what are you looking to do?
282
00:14:58,499 --> 00:15:02,401
You looking to just go hiking,
or bopping around town, or...
283
00:15:02,503 --> 00:15:04,300
Little bit of both, probably.
284
00:15:04,405 --> 00:15:06,930
Okay, well, they're both
quick-dry material, which is good,
285
00:15:07,041 --> 00:15:08,599
'cause it wicks away the sweat
from the surface,
286
00:15:08,709 --> 00:15:09,971
allows it to evaporate quickly.
287
00:15:10,077 --> 00:15:12,477
But if I was gonna go with one,
I'd probably go with the Patagonia,
288
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,604
'cause it's 100% recycled material.
289
00:15:14,714 --> 00:15:17,911
Hey, you a pie fan?
290
00:15:20,787 --> 00:15:23,688
A fan of pie? Do you like pie? The...
Pie? Food? Pie.
291
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:27,920
Oh, pie. Like apple pie, and...
Yeah, I love pie.
292
00:15:29,061 --> 00:15:30,551
Get out of town.
293
00:15:30,829 --> 00:15:33,423
So you're an environmental researcher.
294
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:35,924
Why do you sound so surprised?
295
00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:39,835
No, it's just, I mean, you know,
you don't really look like
296
00:15:39,939 --> 00:15:42,567
the prototypical scientist type.
297
00:15:42,674 --> 00:15:45,768
Well, it's not really that scientific.
It's more, you know...
298
00:15:45,877 --> 00:15:48,812
- It's just researching.
- Right. I know. Just research.
299
00:15:48,913 --> 00:15:50,278
Well, it is.
300
00:15:51,349 --> 00:15:53,817
Well, I'm sure you make it sound
much simpler than it is, but...
301
00:15:53,918 --> 00:15:56,853
For us knuckleheads who, you know,
sell baseball gloves...
302
00:15:56,955 --> 00:15:59,116
No, you're not a knucklehead.
303
00:16:00,023 --> 00:16:01,217
Eddie...
304
00:16:02,793 --> 00:16:04,693
Can I be honest with you?
305
00:16:04,795 --> 00:16:06,126
Yeah, sure.
306
00:16:07,597 --> 00:16:11,795
I didn't really need that fleece
that I bought today.
307
00:16:12,469 --> 00:16:15,029
I came in the store today to see you.
308
00:16:15,638 --> 00:16:16,798
Really?
309
00:16:18,307 --> 00:16:19,865
- Yeah.
- Oh, cool.
310
00:16:21,477 --> 00:16:23,502
I mean, if you wanna return the fleece,
it's fine, seriously.
311
00:16:23,612 --> 00:16:25,842
Oh, no, Eddie, I don't.
I don't wanna return it.
312
00:16:25,948 --> 00:16:27,415
Okay, but just know
that that's okay, too.
313
00:16:27,516 --> 00:16:29,609
- No, I love it.
- I mean, aside from all of this other...
314
00:16:29,718 --> 00:16:33,415
Eddie, I think it's perfect for me.
315
00:17:42,319 --> 00:17:43,343
You're not mad?
316
00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:45,284
Of course I'm not mad.
317
00:17:45,388 --> 00:17:48,255
I don't want you to do anything
you're not comfortable with. Come on.
318
00:17:48,358 --> 00:17:51,486
I know it's silly. I mean,
it's not like I'm a virgin or anything.
319
00:17:51,594 --> 00:17:54,654
Lila, you don't owe me
any explanations, okay? Really.
320
00:17:54,764 --> 00:17:57,756
I know, but I just want you
to understand where I'm coming from.
321
00:17:57,867 --> 00:17:59,129
I just...
322
00:17:59,234 --> 00:18:02,499
I've seen how sleeping together
too soon can ruin a relationship,
323
00:18:02,604 --> 00:18:05,402
and I don't wanna risk what we have.
324
00:18:06,108 --> 00:18:08,906
'Cause what we have
is really, really nice.
325
00:18:09,478 --> 00:18:12,538
Last time I checked,
we're not in a race, right?
326
00:18:12,915 --> 00:18:13,973
Cool.
327
00:18:21,355 --> 00:18:23,186
- All right.
- All right.
328
00:18:23,691 --> 00:18:25,386
- Good night.
- Night.
329
00:18:25,793 --> 00:18:27,158
Sleep well.
330
00:18:27,495 --> 00:18:28,792
I will.
331
00:18:36,603 --> 00:18:39,436
Eddie, phone call, Line 3. It's Lila.
332
00:18:41,808 --> 00:18:43,776
Hey, baby, how you doing?
333
00:18:45,978 --> 00:18:47,411
What's wrong?
334
00:18:47,646 --> 00:18:50,672
How long do they want you
to live in Rotterdam?
335
00:18:50,850 --> 00:18:52,579
I don't know,
it depends on the restructuring.
336
00:18:52,685 --> 00:18:55,381
- I mean, at least two years.
- Two years?
337
00:18:55,488 --> 00:18:56,819
Maybe more.
338
00:19:01,059 --> 00:19:02,356
Two years?
339
00:19:04,629 --> 00:19:06,028
Why Germany?
340
00:19:06,731 --> 00:19:07,959
Holland.
341
00:19:09,634 --> 00:19:12,000
Can't you just tell them,
"I won't do it. I can't do it.
342
00:19:12,103 --> 00:19:14,503
"I wanna be a researcher, but I'm not,
you know, I'm not gonna..."
343
00:19:14,605 --> 00:19:17,267
Eddie, this is my career.
I can't say that.
344
00:19:17,374 --> 00:19:20,036
I understand that,
but can't you, like, just say, you know...
345
00:19:20,144 --> 00:19:21,805
Isn't there somebody else
who wants to go?
346
00:19:21,912 --> 00:19:24,676
No, it's either me or this other
researcher, and he's married.
347
00:19:24,781 --> 00:19:25,770
So what?
348
00:19:25,883 --> 00:19:28,943
So, they don't move married people.
It's policy.
349
00:19:33,523 --> 00:19:35,514
So what are the negatives?
350
00:19:36,192 --> 00:19:38,353
Well, for one thing,
I've only known her for six weeks.
351
00:19:38,461 --> 00:19:39,928
That's half a summer, Eddie.
352
00:19:40,029 --> 00:19:42,520
I proposed to your mother
after three dates.
353
00:19:42,632 --> 00:19:45,192
She gave me 18
of the best years of my life.
354
00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:47,928
You were engaged to Jodi for five years.
What good did that do you?
355
00:19:48,036 --> 00:19:49,731
All right, yeah,
but there's other stuff, too.
356
00:19:49,838 --> 00:19:51,032
Such as?
357
00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:53,734
She doesn't have
a great sense of humor.
358
00:19:53,842 --> 00:19:55,207
Are you out of your mind?
359
00:19:55,310 --> 00:19:57,278
Funny's a male gene, you idiot.
360
00:19:57,379 --> 00:20:00,041
Haven't you ever noticed,
whenever you see a really funny girl,
361
00:20:00,147 --> 00:20:01,375
she's a little mannish?
362
00:20:01,482 --> 00:20:06,078
Think about it. Lily Tomlin,
Evelyn DeGeneres, Rosie O'Donnell...
363
00:20:06,187 --> 00:20:08,212
Oh, I got a thing
for Ellen DeGeneres, though.
364
00:20:08,322 --> 00:20:10,051
I do. I have to admit it.
365
00:20:10,157 --> 00:20:13,320
I think she's great. I think she's hot.
Great ass.
366
00:20:13,826 --> 00:20:14,815
Check it out.
367
00:20:14,928 --> 00:20:17,192
All right, you know what?
Forget that stuff, okay? She's wonderful.
368
00:20:17,297 --> 00:20:19,765
She's an incredible girl.
There's no better. Okay?
369
00:20:19,866 --> 00:20:23,632
Still, just the idea of marriage.
It's just so permanent. You know?
370
00:20:23,736 --> 00:20:25,033
It's like...
371
00:20:25,138 --> 00:20:26,162
It's like at the end of the day,
372
00:20:26,272 --> 00:20:29,332
I'm choosing between Lila
and all the other women in the world.
373
00:20:29,441 --> 00:20:32,410
You've barely nailed
any of the other women in the world.
374
00:20:32,511 --> 00:20:35,537
You haven't crushed more than three
pussies since you broke off with Jodi.
375
00:20:35,647 --> 00:20:39,174
Dad, what is this obsession
with pussy-crushing counting?
376
00:20:39,284 --> 00:20:41,844
I really, I just...
I'm not comfortable with that term.
377
00:20:41,954 --> 00:20:44,047
Sorry. Snatch. Whatever.
378
00:20:45,523 --> 00:20:47,821
- Who do you think you are?
- Huh?
379
00:20:48,526 --> 00:20:51,086
Just who the hell
do you think you are, Eddie, huh?
380
00:20:51,195 --> 00:20:55,154
Sitting here, trying to come up
with reasons not to marry this girl?
381
00:20:55,266 --> 00:20:56,358
You should be thanking God
382
00:20:56,467 --> 00:20:59,732
that a woman this fantastic
would even consider you.
383
00:21:00,036 --> 00:21:01,901
Now, unless you wanna be
the 75-year-old dad
384
00:21:02,005 --> 00:21:02,994
at the Little League game,
385
00:21:03,106 --> 00:21:07,065
I suggest you get on with your life,
'cause that's what this is, Eddie. It's life!
386
00:21:07,177 --> 00:21:09,475
Life, Eddie. Goes like that.
387
00:21:17,386 --> 00:21:20,844
I now pronounce you man and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
388
00:21:40,174 --> 00:21:42,938
Congratulations, buddy.
You hit a home run.
389
00:21:43,478 --> 00:21:44,877
Can you believe it? I did it!
390
00:21:44,978 --> 00:21:48,880
I finally took the plunge.
And you know what? It feels great.
391
00:21:49,750 --> 00:21:50,944
I told you it would.
392
00:21:51,051 --> 00:21:53,815
Thank you. Thank you for talking
some sense into me, man.
393
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:57,014
I mean, look at this! Look at this.
I'm married to this amazing girl.
394
00:21:57,124 --> 00:21:58,318
I got the next three weeks off.
395
00:21:58,425 --> 00:22:00,450
- We're road-tripping it down to Cabo.
- Cabo.
396
00:22:00,559 --> 00:22:01,548
That's it.
397
00:22:01,661 --> 00:22:04,095
- You're in the club.
- I'm in the club.
398
00:22:04,196 --> 00:22:07,757
Hey, when you get down to the hotel,
ask for Uncle Tito.
399
00:22:07,867 --> 00:22:10,097
And give him this as a thank you.
400
00:22:10,202 --> 00:22:12,329
Okay, look, remind me again,
who's Uncle Tito?
401
00:22:12,438 --> 00:22:13,530
He's a friend of mine.
402
00:22:13,639 --> 00:22:14,901
You know. I always take care of him.
403
00:22:15,006 --> 00:22:17,099
He gives me a big discount
when I go down there.
404
00:22:17,208 --> 00:22:18,505
He knows you're coming.
405
00:22:18,610 --> 00:22:20,202
That's awesome, man. Thank you.
406
00:22:20,312 --> 00:22:23,110
Honey! My mom finally arrived!
407
00:22:23,214 --> 00:22:24,977
Oh, great! Where is she?
408
00:22:25,850 --> 00:22:28,011
There's my tiger!
409
00:22:30,321 --> 00:22:32,687
Give me a hug.
410
00:22:34,692 --> 00:22:37,627
I am so sorry I missed the ceremony.
411
00:22:38,696 --> 00:22:41,631
Look at her, so beautiful.
412
00:22:41,732 --> 00:22:45,190
That's the same dress
I wore on my wedding day.
413
00:22:46,169 --> 00:22:47,431
Same designer?
414
00:22:47,537 --> 00:22:49,801
No, it's the very same dress.
415
00:23:08,323 --> 00:23:10,621
Spread out now, Rosie doctor
416
00:23:10,726 --> 00:23:13,593
Come cut loose her mama's reins
417
00:23:14,663 --> 00:23:17,291
You know playin' blind man's bluff
418
00:23:17,398 --> 00:23:19,992
is a little baby's game
419
00:23:20,968 --> 00:23:23,368
You pick up Little Dynamite
420
00:23:23,471 --> 00:23:26,531
I'm gonna pick up Little Gun
421
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:29,370
And together we're gonna go out tonight
422
00:23:29,477 --> 00:23:32,344
And make that highway run
423
00:23:33,813 --> 00:23:35,337
You got a pretty good voice there.
424
00:23:35,448 --> 00:23:37,439
Why, thank you, soul mate.
425
00:23:37,550 --> 00:23:38,517
I'm glad you like it,
426
00:23:38,618 --> 00:23:42,247
'cause you're gonna be hearing
a lot of it for the next 40 or 50 years.
427
00:23:43,022 --> 00:23:44,683
Forty or fifty years.
428
00:23:45,491 --> 00:23:47,288
Hey, you know what I was thinking
when we get down there?
429
00:23:47,393 --> 00:23:49,520
We should go out sport fishing.
430
00:23:49,628 --> 00:23:51,858
I've always wanted to catch a marlin,
put it up in the store.
431
00:23:51,964 --> 00:23:55,263
- No, baby, I can't do that.
- Why not?
432
00:23:55,367 --> 00:23:58,928
Because I can't do boats.
I get really, really seasick.
433
00:23:59,037 --> 00:24:01,198
- I'm sorry.
- That's all right.
434
00:24:01,773 --> 00:24:03,866
That's okay. There's a lot of other
fun stuff we can do down there.
435
00:24:03,975 --> 00:24:04,942
Yeah.
436
00:24:05,042 --> 00:24:07,033
I definitely wanna get out of the hotel
a couple of days.
437
00:24:07,145 --> 00:24:09,136
Maybe get a burro, you know?
438
00:24:09,247 --> 00:24:11,374
A Mexican burro? Donkey?
439
00:24:11,482 --> 00:24:14,110
Go up into the mountains?
You know, just have a little adventure.
440
00:24:14,218 --> 00:24:15,685
- Really?
- Yeah.
441
00:24:16,420 --> 00:24:20,823
I kind of thought it would be nice
to just relax on the beach, you know?
442
00:24:22,192 --> 00:24:24,592
I mean, remember, honey,
this is a Third World country.
443
00:24:24,694 --> 00:24:26,594
It can be really dangerous.
444
00:24:26,696 --> 00:24:30,063
Yeah. Well, I mean, you know.
It's Cabo.
445
00:24:30,166 --> 00:24:31,633
Yeah, exactly.
446
00:24:33,035 --> 00:24:35,026
Come on, shake your body, baby
Do that conga
447
00:24:35,137 --> 00:24:37,298
I know you can't control yourself
any longer
448
00:24:37,406 --> 00:24:39,271
Come on, shake your body, baby
Do that conga
449
00:24:39,375 --> 00:24:41,935
I know you can't control yourself
any longer
450
00:24:45,747 --> 00:24:48,011
Fab Five Freddy told me everybody's fly
451
00:24:48,116 --> 00:24:50,141
The DJ's spinning
I said, my my
452
00:24:50,251 --> 00:24:54,278
Flash is fast, Flash is cool
François sez fas, Flashé no do
453
00:24:54,389 --> 00:24:59,053
And you don't stop
Sure shot, go out to the parking lot
454
00:25:00,461 --> 00:25:06,058
And I'm ready to take a chance again
455
00:25:06,867 --> 00:25:12,772
Ready to put my love
on the line with you
456
00:25:13,540 --> 00:25:15,474
I'll tell you what I want
What I really, really want
457
00:25:15,575 --> 00:25:17,975
So, tell me what you want
What you really, really want
458
00:25:18,077 --> 00:25:20,170
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna
459
00:25:20,279 --> 00:25:22,907
I wanna really, really, really
Wanna zigazig ha
460
00:25:23,015 --> 00:25:26,678
Muskrat Suzie, Muskrat Sam
461
00:25:26,786 --> 00:25:31,519
Do the jitterbug out in muskrat land
And they shimmy
462
00:25:31,623 --> 00:25:32,783
Hey, baby? Honey?
463
00:25:32,891 --> 00:25:35,951
Why don't we turn off the radio
for a little bit, and just sort of...
464
00:25:36,061 --> 00:25:38,552
Sort of vibe out on the wind
465
00:25:39,798 --> 00:25:41,493
and chill out a little?
466
00:25:42,434 --> 00:25:44,299
I've got a better idea.
467
00:25:45,103 --> 00:25:47,867
- Why don't we go find a room and fuck?
- Okay.
468
00:25:52,309 --> 00:25:54,072
- You like that, Eddie?
- Yeah.
469
00:25:54,178 --> 00:25:57,579
- Yeah, you like that, don't you?
- I do.
470
00:25:57,681 --> 00:25:59,239
Tell me how much you like it.
471
00:26:00,317 --> 00:26:03,150
- I like it.
- Then tell me how much you like it!
472
00:26:03,253 --> 00:26:04,811
I like it a lot!
473
00:26:05,355 --> 00:26:08,847
- Do you like that?
- Whoa, yeah. Yeah, I like that.
474
00:26:08,958 --> 00:26:10,482
How about that?
475
00:26:10,593 --> 00:26:14,757
Ow! No, no, no, no. Oh, no, no. No, no.
No, no, don't like that.
476
00:26:14,864 --> 00:26:18,061
Now I know what to do
when Eddie's a bad boy.
477
00:26:18,567 --> 00:26:21,900
Do you think maybe we can switch up
the position a little bit?
478
00:26:22,004 --> 00:26:23,938
'Cause I'm starting to get cramped here.
479
00:26:24,039 --> 00:26:25,597
- Yeah.
- Okay, good.
480
00:26:25,707 --> 00:26:28,198
You wanna do the Inverted Corkscrew?
481
00:26:28,877 --> 00:26:30,538
Remind me, again, what's that?
482
00:26:30,646 --> 00:26:34,377
It's just like the Swedish Helicopter,
except you spin me.
483
00:26:34,882 --> 00:26:38,682
Okay. You know what?
I don't... I'm not a big helicopter guy.
484
00:26:38,786 --> 00:26:41,346
No, never mind.
Just Jackhammer me, Eddie.
485
00:26:41,455 --> 00:26:43,116
Okay, I... What's a...
486
00:26:43,224 --> 00:26:45,089
Jackhammer me, Eddie!
Jackhammer me!
487
00:26:45,192 --> 00:26:47,456
- What is a...
- Jackhammer me! Jackhammer me!
488
00:26:47,561 --> 00:26:50,394
Hey, hey, I got an idea. You know what?
Guess what. Guess what.
489
00:26:50,497 --> 00:26:53,625
Why don't we just, you know,
do, like, a little missionary position
490
00:26:53,733 --> 00:26:55,223
for a little bit?
491
00:26:55,335 --> 00:26:56,700
What's that?
492
00:26:57,671 --> 00:26:59,070
Missionary position. You know.
493
00:26:59,172 --> 00:27:02,107
It's like, you know,
when I'm on top of you,
494
00:27:02,207 --> 00:27:05,608
just a regular guy on top of a girl?
Yeah?
495
00:27:05,711 --> 00:27:07,110
- Okay.
- Yeah?
496
00:27:07,746 --> 00:27:10,476
Can you Pile Drive me
from that position?
497
00:27:15,154 --> 00:27:16,985
That was so beautiful.
498
00:27:33,337 --> 00:27:36,238
Could you not make those little circles?
499
00:27:37,007 --> 00:27:39,976
Just... My skin's kind of
sensitive right now.
500
00:27:42,312 --> 00:27:45,611
Well, what if I made little squares?
501
00:27:48,317 --> 00:27:50,148
I don't think any shapes...
502
00:27:50,252 --> 00:27:53,153
I don't wanna do any shapes
right now, okay?
503
00:27:56,359 --> 00:28:00,318
Is my Eddie Bear gonna be grouchy
for the next 40 to 50 years?
504
00:28:01,630 --> 00:28:04,121
I'm not being grouchy. Honey.
505
00:28:05,066 --> 00:28:06,658
Where you going?
506
00:28:07,168 --> 00:28:08,396
Pee-pee.
507
00:28:19,847 --> 00:28:22,247
That wasn't what you think it was!
508
00:28:24,218 --> 00:28:26,083
What? I didn't hear anything.
509
00:28:26,186 --> 00:28:27,414
Oh, good.
510
00:28:28,022 --> 00:28:30,320
'Cause I just queefed, big-time.
511
00:28:35,662 --> 00:28:36,720
Okay.
512
00:28:45,605 --> 00:28:48,301
Mr. Cantrow's awfully quiet
this morning.
513
00:28:49,608 --> 00:28:52,600
Nah, I'm always quiet
in the morning, sort of.
514
00:28:52,711 --> 00:28:57,444
I take a little while to get up to steam.
515
00:28:58,850 --> 00:29:02,286
Will you hold my hand while we eat?
I really like that.
516
00:29:04,321 --> 00:29:06,881
Hold your hand? Of course, of course.
517
00:29:19,569 --> 00:29:21,161
Baby. Baby, look.
518
00:29:22,305 --> 00:29:24,899
They're so cute. That's us in 10 years.
519
00:29:25,775 --> 00:29:29,267
Ten? I don't know about that.
I mean, it seems like a little...
520
00:29:29,379 --> 00:29:31,643
I hope it's more than 10 years.
521
00:29:32,848 --> 00:29:35,249
You're probably right.
I'm really bad at math.
522
00:29:35,250 --> 00:29:35,807
You're probably right.
I'm really bad at math.
523
00:29:37,152 --> 00:29:39,746
- Eddie, can I ask you something?
- Yeah.
524
00:29:42,791 --> 00:29:44,224
Last night,
525
00:29:45,794 --> 00:29:49,958
you didn't think I was too hairy
down there, did you?
526
00:29:50,064 --> 00:29:53,261
I know a lot of women shave completely,
but I don't like that.
527
00:29:53,367 --> 00:29:55,267
You know, it makes me feel
like a little girl.
528
00:29:55,369 --> 00:29:56,996
But if you want, I could trim it.
529
00:29:57,105 --> 00:30:00,040
And that way you'd be able
to see my kitty ring better.
530
00:30:01,476 --> 00:30:05,879
I don't think so. I mean, I think...
No, that's a good... I could see it.
531
00:30:05,979 --> 00:30:08,743
- Was good visibility on it.
- Okay.
532
00:30:19,125 --> 00:30:20,114
You okay?
533
00:30:20,226 --> 00:30:22,160
- Oh, God.
- You all right?
534
00:30:22,628 --> 00:30:24,459
There's the apple juice out the nose.
535
00:30:24,563 --> 00:30:29,830
It's just this stupid deviated septum that
I have, and it just... Everything just...
536
00:30:29,935 --> 00:30:31,425
You've got a deviated septum?
537
00:30:31,537 --> 00:30:33,869
There was a kid at my camp
who had a deviated septum.
538
00:30:33,972 --> 00:30:36,566
- Oh, really?
- Yeah. He used to snore like a pig.
539
00:30:36,674 --> 00:30:37,698
- Well, I don't snore.
- Good.
540
00:30:37,809 --> 00:30:42,178
But I do have a lot of fluids coming
out of my nose, more than I'd like.
541
00:30:42,514 --> 00:30:44,607
We just have to keep you
away from liquids, huh?
542
00:30:44,716 --> 00:30:48,015
Baby, look at them. They are so cute.
543
00:30:52,222 --> 00:30:53,746
They are adorable.
544
00:30:54,424 --> 00:30:56,551
Chicken in the bread pan
pickin' out dough
545
00:30:57,494 --> 00:31:00,429
"Granny, does your dog bite?"
"No, child, no"
546
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:49,867
This is amazing!
It's even better than the brochure.
547
00:31:49,976 --> 00:31:51,671
Baby, look at this!
548
00:31:53,346 --> 00:31:54,836
Not too shabby.
549
00:31:57,050 --> 00:31:58,074
Eddie?
550
00:31:58,184 --> 00:31:59,242
Yeah?
551
00:32:00,987 --> 00:32:02,921
I need to say something.
552
00:32:05,591 --> 00:32:07,923
I've never been married before,
553
00:32:08,026 --> 00:32:11,723
and I've been wanting everything
to be so perfect that
554
00:32:11,830 --> 00:32:14,424
I think I've been acting a little off.
555
00:32:15,968 --> 00:32:18,630
- Oh... No!
- Yes.
556
00:32:18,736 --> 00:32:19,725
Really, I have.
557
00:32:19,871 --> 00:32:23,272
I've been trying so hard to act like
I'm all comfortable with everything
558
00:32:23,374 --> 00:32:26,741
that I think I've gone too far
the other way.
559
00:32:28,212 --> 00:32:29,804
Well, maybe a little.
560
00:32:29,914 --> 00:32:32,178
I mean, but you know what?
I'm nervous, too.
561
00:32:32,283 --> 00:32:35,218
I mean, here we are.
We, you know... We're married.
562
00:32:35,318 --> 00:32:38,082
I've never been married before.
We're both new at this.
563
00:32:38,188 --> 00:32:39,382
I'm glad you said something.
564
00:32:39,489 --> 00:32:43,084
Good. Well, what do you say
we just reset?
565
00:32:43,193 --> 00:32:45,957
I like that. Yeah. Let's just... Reset.
566
00:32:46,329 --> 00:32:48,194
Press the TiVo button.
567
00:32:51,333 --> 00:32:52,561
- Look at this!
- Oh, my God!
568
00:32:52,668 --> 00:32:57,230
El Mariachi! I love it.
This is the real Mexico, baby!
569
00:33:01,844 --> 00:33:02,833
Here you go.
570
00:33:02,944 --> 00:33:07,677
Por favor, stay close this week with us.
It's our honeymoon.
571
00:33:08,149 --> 00:33:11,414
Oh, my God.
They have some major happy hour.
572
00:33:11,519 --> 00:33:14,386
Eddie Bear, you go check us in.
I'll get a snack.
573
00:33:14,489 --> 00:33:15,581
Okay.
574
00:33:15,690 --> 00:33:19,524
Do me a favor, play for her. Go.
Yes, serenade her.
575
00:33:23,363 --> 00:33:26,230
Hey look, it's that fruit from the wedding.
576
00:33:27,367 --> 00:33:29,232
Hey. What are you guys doing here?
577
00:33:29,336 --> 00:33:31,770
I don't know.
We're on vacation with our parents.
578
00:33:31,872 --> 00:33:33,237
You look disappointed to see us.
579
00:33:33,339 --> 00:33:35,637
What? Did you think
this was a gays-only resort?
580
00:33:35,741 --> 00:33:39,734
For your information,
the hot blond over there, she's with me.
581
00:33:39,845 --> 00:33:41,244
That's who I'm gonna
be sleeping with tonight, so...
582
00:33:41,347 --> 00:33:43,144
I'll give you this. It's impressive.
583
00:33:43,249 --> 00:33:45,274
- Yeah.
- How does he do it?
584
00:33:45,384 --> 00:33:48,319
Does he tuck his balls under
or does he tape them up real high?
585
00:33:48,420 --> 00:33:50,752
You know what? Why don't you take
your little Human Genome Project
586
00:33:50,855 --> 00:33:51,947
and hit the road?
587
00:33:52,057 --> 00:33:54,082
You homophobic hobbits.
588
00:33:54,192 --> 00:33:55,318
Punks.
589
00:33:57,662 --> 00:34:00,392
Do you think you could tell me
where I could find Uncle Tito?
590
00:34:00,498 --> 00:34:02,625
Yes. May I ask who is inquiring?
591
00:34:02,734 --> 00:34:05,464
Yeah, my name's Eddie Cantrow,
and I'm a friend of a friend of his.
592
00:34:05,569 --> 00:34:07,537
I'm supposed to give him something.
593
00:34:07,638 --> 00:34:09,663
I'm sorry to tell you this,
but he no longer works here.
594
00:34:09,773 --> 00:34:12,799
He's actually in jail
serving six to ten years.
595
00:34:13,410 --> 00:34:14,809
He was caught running cock fights,
596
00:34:14,912 --> 00:34:18,075
and I'm not speaking about
the kind with roosters.
597
00:34:19,182 --> 00:34:20,376
Really?
598
00:34:20,483 --> 00:34:22,542
Screw off! I'm joking, man!
599
00:34:23,219 --> 00:34:25,949
Come on! I am Uncle Tito!
600
00:34:26,055 --> 00:34:27,147
Pleasure to meet you.
601
00:34:27,256 --> 00:34:28,484
You're Uncle Tito! Okay.
602
00:34:28,591 --> 00:34:30,957
You should have seen
the look on your face.
603
00:34:31,060 --> 00:34:32,721
Did you bring the present from Mac?
604
00:34:32,829 --> 00:34:36,128
Yes, I did. Yes.
Here... Yeah, here you go.
605
00:34:36,231 --> 00:34:40,565
It's funny, I... Uncle Tito. I was thinking
of, like, an older, gray-haired...
606
00:34:40,669 --> 00:34:41,931
- Yes.
- I don't know why.
607
00:34:42,037 --> 00:34:44,835
- You like the hair?
- I like it. You got a whole...
608
00:34:51,912 --> 00:34:56,542
Pardon me.
I was wanting to know if we could...
609
00:34:59,553 --> 00:35:02,989
Here is the adult sex tape you ordered,
Señor Cantrow.
610
00:35:05,425 --> 00:35:07,188
I will bill it to your room.
611
00:35:07,293 --> 00:35:09,887
Would you like me
to bring up any more?
612
00:35:11,331 --> 00:35:12,798
No. Thank you.
613
00:35:13,299 --> 00:35:16,359
Perfecto!
You will have a fun night tonight.
614
00:35:19,238 --> 00:35:21,433
Baby, you've gotta try this Mind Eraser.
615
00:35:21,540 --> 00:35:24,031
The guy put in, like,
four shots of Patrón.
616
00:35:24,143 --> 00:35:26,668
You are even more sexier
than Mac described.
617
00:35:26,779 --> 00:35:28,041
Thank you.
618
00:35:28,147 --> 00:35:30,274
I was not talking to you,
I was talking to him.
619
00:35:30,382 --> 00:35:35,183
Screw off! I'm joking, man!
Come on. You are unbelievably hot.
620
00:35:35,286 --> 00:35:37,914
By the way, please put your jewelry
inside the safe.
621
00:35:38,022 --> 00:35:40,081
I cannot tell you how many
honeymooners come down here
622
00:35:40,191 --> 00:35:41,658
and they lose their rings on the beach.
623
00:35:41,759 --> 00:35:44,125
- It's very sad.
- Okay, thanks for the tip.
624
00:35:44,228 --> 00:35:48,130
Also, Mac's a pal, so I want you to know
I totally set you guys up.
625
00:35:48,232 --> 00:35:49,893
I got you the honeymoon suite.
626
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:51,763
Hey, all right, thank you!
627
00:35:52,669 --> 00:35:54,227
This is amazing!
628
00:35:55,205 --> 00:35:57,036
How beautiful is this?
629
00:35:57,541 --> 00:35:59,702
Man. Look at that view.
630
00:36:02,379 --> 00:36:03,812
Eddie, think fast!
631
00:36:04,613 --> 00:36:06,410
Honey, come on! Babe!
632
00:36:06,849 --> 00:36:08,248
You could take out an eye
with that thing.
633
00:36:08,350 --> 00:36:10,818
Oh, hush, I didn't come close.
634
00:36:11,387 --> 00:36:13,048
Man, look at this place.
635
00:36:13,155 --> 00:36:15,453
Jeez. Wonder how much
the room costs.
636
00:36:15,558 --> 00:36:19,392
Oh, honey, stop worrying about money.
This is our honeymoon.
637
00:36:19,494 --> 00:36:22,895
We're gonna remember this
for the next 40 to 50 years.
638
00:36:23,598 --> 00:36:26,260
You're right.
I'm thinking like a single guy.
639
00:36:26,367 --> 00:36:28,801
I gotta remember
we're a two-income family now.
640
00:36:28,903 --> 00:36:31,303
Really? You have a second job?
641
00:36:31,406 --> 00:36:33,874
No, I mean my salary, your salary.
642
00:36:33,974 --> 00:36:36,465
- My salary?
- Yeah. Oh, what?
643
00:36:36,577 --> 00:36:38,841
You wanna keep our finances
separate now?
644
00:36:38,946 --> 00:36:41,141
Honey, I'm a volunteer.
645
00:36:41,782 --> 00:36:44,649
Oh, yeah?
Well, how much do volunteers make?
646
00:36:45,686 --> 00:36:47,449
A volunteer is a volunteer.
647
00:36:47,554 --> 00:36:51,422
I help raise money for my
environmental group. I told you this.
648
00:36:55,261 --> 00:36:58,788
So they force volunteers
to move to Rotterdam?
649
00:36:59,332 --> 00:37:00,959
Unmarried volunteers?
650
00:37:01,067 --> 00:37:02,898
They don't force them.
651
00:37:03,002 --> 00:37:06,597
But if you wanna get in good with
the company, you gotta play the game.
652
00:37:06,705 --> 00:37:10,334
You told me
you're an environmental researcher.
653
00:37:11,109 --> 00:37:12,440
Yeah, I am.
654
00:37:13,178 --> 00:37:16,579
Unless you don't count wading in
the freezing-cold San Francisco Bay
655
00:37:16,681 --> 00:37:19,946
for three months, measuring PCBs
and getting stung by jellyfish,
656
00:37:20,050 --> 00:37:22,518
which I won't even tell you what
they had to do to take the pain away.
657
00:37:22,620 --> 00:37:24,451
They had to pee on me.
658
00:37:25,022 --> 00:37:28,253
You get stung by a jellyfish, that makes
you an environmental researcher?
659
00:37:28,359 --> 00:37:31,556
You know what, Eddie? I love my job
and I don't have to defend it to you.
660
00:37:31,662 --> 00:37:34,364
Job? No, no, no. I don't think
you're allowed to call it a job.
661
00:37:34,364 --> 00:37:34,659
Job? No, no, no. I don't think
you're allowed to call it a job.
662
00:37:34,764 --> 00:37:36,664
Oh, really?
And what am I supposed to call it?
663
00:37:36,766 --> 00:37:37,960
A hobby?
664
00:37:38,067 --> 00:37:40,729
- A hobby?
- A hobby. You get paid for a job.
665
00:37:40,837 --> 00:37:42,532
- Says who?
- Says the dictionary.
666
00:37:42,639 --> 00:37:44,971
Well, who reads the dictionary?
Not everybody.
667
00:37:45,074 --> 00:37:47,975
Yeah, apparently not! A "job" is a word.
There is a definition for it!
668
00:37:48,077 --> 00:37:50,170
You married me for my money.
669
00:37:50,412 --> 00:37:53,040
What? No, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Don't turn this around.
670
00:37:53,148 --> 00:37:56,811
What's next? You're gonna steal
my purse, like my last boyfriend did?
671
00:37:56,919 --> 00:37:58,784
Your last boyfriend stole your purse?
672
00:37:58,887 --> 00:38:00,616
Duh! You were there!
673
00:38:01,990 --> 00:38:05,824
That was your boyfriend?
That maniac mugger guy?
674
00:38:05,927 --> 00:38:07,087
That was my ex-boyfriend.
675
00:38:07,195 --> 00:38:09,493
The crazy guy on the bike
was your ex-boyfriend?
676
00:38:09,597 --> 00:38:11,656
- Yes.
- And you didn't tell me this. Why?
677
00:38:11,766 --> 00:38:14,064
Why would I?
You and I were complete strangers.
678
00:38:14,168 --> 00:38:16,864
So... And why was he
stealing your purse?
679
00:38:17,505 --> 00:38:20,133
Because he owed me money,
so I took his wallet.
680
00:38:20,240 --> 00:38:21,832
And I'm not about to leave it
in my apartment,
681
00:38:21,942 --> 00:38:23,307
because then he'd break in
and steal it back.
682
00:38:23,410 --> 00:38:26,504
So I kept it in my purse,
along with his keys and his cell phone.
683
00:38:26,613 --> 00:38:29,343
And let me tell you something else
about my little "hobby."
684
00:38:29,449 --> 00:38:32,282
One day, our kids are gonna
inhabitate this Earth.
685
00:38:32,385 --> 00:38:33,613
And I'm just trying to make sure
686
00:38:33,720 --> 00:38:35,551
that there's some aqua life
left for when they do!
687
00:38:35,654 --> 00:38:37,383
- That's not a word.
- What's not a word?
688
00:38:37,489 --> 00:38:38,956
"Inhabitate." Not a word.
689
00:38:39,058 --> 00:38:42,425
Oh, really? Why don't you look it up
in your little "dictionary,"
690
00:38:42,528 --> 00:38:45,895
and why don't you look up "shitfuck"
while you're at it?
691
00:38:45,998 --> 00:38:47,488
I will look it up with "shitfuck"!
692
00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:51,092
And guess what?
I won't find "inhabitate" or "shitfuck"!
693
00:38:52,537 --> 00:38:53,902
Fuck! Shit!
694
00:39:03,615 --> 00:39:04,673
Lila?
695
00:39:25,034 --> 00:39:26,126
Lila?
696
00:39:45,220 --> 00:39:46,209
This is stupid.
697
00:39:46,321 --> 00:39:47,879
Excuse me.
698
00:39:48,089 --> 00:39:49,556
A little help?
699
00:39:50,090 --> 00:39:51,887
Sorry, I dropped my camera.
700
00:39:58,265 --> 00:39:59,994
Doesn't look broken.
701
00:40:00,467 --> 00:40:03,027
No, don't throw it. I'll be right down.
702
00:40:03,137 --> 00:40:04,195
Okay.
703
00:40:06,039 --> 00:40:07,802
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
704
00:40:08,608 --> 00:40:10,633
I didn't mean to sneak up on you.
I was...
705
00:40:10,743 --> 00:40:12,506
Oh, yeah. No problem.
706
00:40:13,379 --> 00:40:16,371
Was that you this morning
at Reception?
707
00:40:16,983 --> 00:40:18,041
Yeah.
708
00:40:18,851 --> 00:40:20,648
That wasn't what it looked like.
709
00:40:20,752 --> 00:40:22,413
Just looked like
you were renting a videotape.
710
00:40:22,521 --> 00:40:25,888
No, no, I know, but I wasn't.
I mean, that wasn't... I wasn't.
711
00:40:25,991 --> 00:40:29,085
You don't have to explain to me.
All right? Boys will be boys.
712
00:40:29,194 --> 00:40:33,426
I got a cousin who drives a truck with
a bumper sticker that says "Born Hard."
713
00:40:33,532 --> 00:40:35,864
Right. Okay, but I'm not that guy.
I mean, I'm not...
714
00:40:35,966 --> 00:40:37,160
Miranda!
715
00:40:38,035 --> 00:40:41,732
We're getting ready to play Parcheesi!
Please come upstairs.
716
00:40:41,906 --> 00:40:43,771
I'm coming, I'm coming.
717
00:40:45,509 --> 00:40:47,739
- That's my cousin.
- That's your cousin?
718
00:40:47,845 --> 00:40:49,710
- We're down here for a family reunion.
- Oh, yeah?
719
00:40:49,814 --> 00:40:53,910
Yeah. My aunt and uncle renew
their wedding vows every year.
720
00:40:54,017 --> 00:40:57,248
It's a little hokey, but they're still in love
after 42 years, God bless them.
721
00:40:57,354 --> 00:40:59,117
- So we go along with it.
- That's nice.
722
00:40:59,222 --> 00:41:02,680
Yeah. What about you? What's got you
standing out here mumbling to yourself?
723
00:41:02,792 --> 00:41:05,056
Running low on your medication?
724
00:41:05,160 --> 00:41:06,627
Was I mumbling?
725
00:41:06,762 --> 00:41:08,286
- Yeah.
- Audibly?
726
00:41:08,397 --> 00:41:11,958
Miranda!
We are all ready to play Parcheesi.
727
00:41:12,601 --> 00:41:13,932
I'm coming!
728
00:41:15,571 --> 00:41:17,937
All right, okay.
Hope your camera's okay.
729
00:41:18,040 --> 00:41:19,530
Happy mumbling.
730
00:41:26,948 --> 00:41:27,937
Hey.
731
00:41:28,049 --> 00:41:30,017
I am so sorry.
732
00:41:30,118 --> 00:41:32,382
- No, no, no. Honey, I'm sorry.
- No, I'm sorry.
733
00:41:32,487 --> 00:41:33,454
No, no, no. I'm sorry.
734
00:41:33,588 --> 00:41:38,924
Look, really. Look, first of all,
I love that you love the fishes, okay?
735
00:41:39,426 --> 00:41:43,328
And I think it's great that you wanna
clean up the ocean, okay?
736
00:41:43,597 --> 00:41:44,723
- Really?
- Yeah.
737
00:41:44,831 --> 00:41:47,061
Yeah, I'm just, you know...
738
00:41:47,167 --> 00:41:48,634
- Eddie.
- I got all worked up.
739
00:41:48,735 --> 00:41:50,600
- But you were right, Eddie.
- No, no.
740
00:41:50,703 --> 00:41:53,467
Yes. They should have been paying me
a long time ago.
741
00:41:53,572 --> 00:41:54,800
Whatever. Whatever.
742
00:41:54,907 --> 00:41:57,171
No, but really, I mean...
743
00:41:57,309 --> 00:42:00,767
How am I ever gonna get out of debt
if I keep letting them do this to me?
744
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,678
- How are you gonna what?
- Get out of debt.
745
00:42:03,783 --> 00:42:06,183
You're in debt? What kind of debt?
746
00:42:06,851 --> 00:42:09,945
You know, the kind where you owe
a lot of money to people.
747
00:42:10,054 --> 00:42:11,681
How much money?
748
00:42:11,790 --> 00:42:15,783
Well, it's not so bad. I mean,
ever since I stopped doing the blow,
749
00:42:15,894 --> 00:42:18,920
it's down to about 26 K.
750
00:42:20,231 --> 00:42:22,290
You had a... You snorted...
751
00:42:22,833 --> 00:42:24,824
You had a cocaine problem?
752
00:42:25,202 --> 00:42:27,295
That's how I got
the deviated septum, remember?
753
00:42:27,404 --> 00:42:29,736
You said you had a deviated septum.
You didn't say that you had a...
754
00:42:29,840 --> 00:42:30,829
You know...
755
00:42:30,941 --> 00:42:32,272
Snorting the cocaine.
756
00:42:32,376 --> 00:42:34,173
Yeah, but that's how you get
a deviated septum.
757
00:42:34,278 --> 00:42:36,007
I didn't... Okay.
758
00:42:36,112 --> 00:42:40,412
That kid at camp, he didn't have
a blow problem, you know. He was...
759
00:42:40,516 --> 00:42:42,006
Well, how do you know?
760
00:42:42,118 --> 00:42:44,985
Because he was eight
and he was my bunkmate.
761
00:42:45,087 --> 00:42:47,112
I mean, you know,
I would have been aware...
762
00:42:47,223 --> 00:42:49,248
Tell me a little bit more
about this, though.
763
00:42:49,358 --> 00:42:53,317
You know, it's a chapter of my life
that I'm not particularly proud of.
764
00:42:53,428 --> 00:42:55,157
Right, right.
765
00:42:55,263 --> 00:42:56,890
But you know what?
766
00:42:57,299 --> 00:43:01,895
If I had to do it all over again,
I wouldn't change a darn thing.
767
00:43:02,003 --> 00:43:04,471
Because it made me who I am today.
768
00:43:04,573 --> 00:43:07,133
And do you know
who I am today, Eddie?
769
00:43:08,342 --> 00:43:10,071
No. Who are you?
770
00:43:10,711 --> 00:43:12,645
I'm Mrs. Edmund Cantrow.
771
00:43:13,814 --> 00:43:14,974
Edward.
772
00:43:15,282 --> 00:43:17,477
"Edward"? You didn't tell me that!
773
00:43:17,585 --> 00:43:19,485
I... Yeah, Edward.
774
00:43:19,587 --> 00:43:21,646
Well, Mr. Cantrow.
775
00:43:21,754 --> 00:43:25,713
Are there any other dark, dirty secrets
that I should know about?
776
00:43:30,029 --> 00:43:32,122
Cock me. Cock me.
777
00:43:33,333 --> 00:43:35,460
Yeah, you like that, don't you?
778
00:43:35,568 --> 00:43:37,433
- You bet.
- Yeah.
779
00:43:37,536 --> 00:43:39,003
Tell me how much you like it.
780
00:43:39,104 --> 00:43:40,662
I still like it a lot.
781
00:43:40,772 --> 00:43:42,797
Yeah. Hit me.
782
00:43:43,475 --> 00:43:44,464
What?
783
00:43:44,576 --> 00:43:45,736
Hit me!
784
00:43:46,111 --> 00:43:47,942
I don't wanna hit you.
785
00:43:48,213 --> 00:43:51,376
Come on, Eddie. I've been a bad girl.
Now hit me!
786
00:43:52,617 --> 00:43:55,085
You've been fine.
I don't wanna hit you, Lila, really.
787
00:43:55,186 --> 00:43:57,586
What's the matter, Eddie,
you a little girl?
788
00:43:57,688 --> 00:43:59,315
- You a little girl?
- No.
789
00:43:59,423 --> 00:44:02,324
- What, love? You got a little pussy?
- What? No!
790
00:44:02,426 --> 00:44:05,862
- A pussy! Do you have a pussy?
- No, I don't have a pussy!
791
00:44:05,963 --> 00:44:07,362
Well, what are you, a faggot, Eddie?
792
00:44:07,464 --> 00:44:09,125
- Are you a faggot?
- I'm not a faggot!
793
00:44:09,232 --> 00:44:11,757
Well, then, slap me! Slap me like this!
794
00:44:11,868 --> 00:44:14,302
That's right!
795
00:44:14,404 --> 00:44:17,601
What's the matter? I thought little girls
liked getting their nipples pinched.
796
00:44:17,707 --> 00:44:18,799
Don't you...
797
00:44:18,909 --> 00:44:22,106
Yeah! Oh, I love it! Like it rough!
798
00:44:22,211 --> 00:44:26,944
Yes! Yes, Eddie, yes! Cock me!
799
00:44:27,316 --> 00:44:30,183
Cock me! Cock me, Eddie!
800
00:44:30,286 --> 00:44:32,652
I think I am cocking you!
801
00:44:34,490 --> 00:44:37,789
Fuck me like a black guy, Eddie!
Come on!
802
00:44:42,530 --> 00:44:45,363
No! You're not doing it!
803
00:45:06,286 --> 00:45:08,686
Here, put some of this on my back.
804
00:45:11,490 --> 00:45:13,549
- This is mineral oil.
- Yeah.
805
00:45:14,360 --> 00:45:16,385
No, you need sunblock down here.
806
00:45:16,495 --> 00:45:19,464
No, you gotta use oil
if you wanna get savage.
807
00:45:21,033 --> 00:45:23,263
Babe, I'm telling you,
the sun's really strong down here.
808
00:45:23,368 --> 00:45:25,632
You need like a 30 or a 35. I got some.
809
00:45:25,737 --> 00:45:27,671
Are you becoming a control freak?
810
00:45:27,772 --> 00:45:31,970
I mean, first the thing about having
to tip the maid every day, and now this?
811
00:45:32,077 --> 00:45:35,843
Forget about it, Eddie. I'll just do it
myself if it's such a problem.
812
00:45:35,947 --> 00:45:38,482
I'm just saying
the sun's really different down here.
813
00:45:38,482 --> 00:45:38,971
I'm just saying
the sun's really different down here.
814
00:45:39,083 --> 00:45:41,074
The sun is the sun, Eddie.
815
00:46:15,117 --> 00:46:16,141
Honey!
816
00:46:16,251 --> 00:46:18,651
Oh, Grouchy Marx, calm down.
817
00:46:25,693 --> 00:46:27,627
Hey, look. He really is with that babe.
818
00:46:27,728 --> 00:46:29,457
Man, she is banging.
819
00:46:29,797 --> 00:46:34,029
That means he was telling the truth
about his wife getting ice-picked.
820
00:46:34,168 --> 00:46:35,760
That's messed up.
821
00:46:43,576 --> 00:46:45,373
Eddie, make them go away.
822
00:46:45,478 --> 00:46:47,275
Thank you, no.
823
00:46:47,380 --> 00:46:49,507
- Not now.
- Thank you. We're okay.
824
00:46:49,616 --> 00:46:52,881
- We don't want any. Thank you, though.
- Give them money. Give them money.
825
00:46:52,985 --> 00:46:56,477
Okay. Here you go. Here you go.
Thank you, but we're fine.
826
00:46:56,588 --> 00:46:59,819
We're just gonna take a little snoozelito.
We snooze, huh?
827
00:46:59,925 --> 00:47:01,916
No, no, no, no. No.
828
00:47:02,027 --> 00:47:05,258
You stop. Stop. No?
829
00:47:10,868 --> 00:47:12,699
It's not my fault.
830
00:47:12,804 --> 00:47:15,204
It's the stupid Mexican ozone!
831
00:47:15,306 --> 00:47:17,365
No. The Mexican ozone
isn't stupid, Lila.
832
00:47:17,475 --> 00:47:19,306
You just needed to wear
some sunscreen.
833
00:47:19,410 --> 00:47:21,708
I was trying to get a tan.
834
00:47:21,813 --> 00:47:24,111
No, you were trying to get "savage."
835
00:47:24,214 --> 00:47:26,079
Whose side are you on, Eddie?
836
00:47:26,183 --> 00:47:29,983
- What? What sides are there?
- Mine or the ozone's? Choose one!
837
00:47:30,754 --> 00:47:32,415
I'm on your side, all right?
Just calm down.
838
00:47:32,522 --> 00:47:35,616
Now look, I'm gonna put a little
of this aloe on your back, okay?
839
00:47:35,726 --> 00:47:37,250
Should make you feel better.
840
00:47:38,060 --> 00:47:39,652
You fucking cunt!
841
00:47:41,230 --> 00:47:42,197
Or not.
842
00:47:42,431 --> 00:47:43,420
Hello?
843
00:47:43,532 --> 00:47:45,932
Hey, Pop, it's me.
Listen, is this a good time?
844
00:47:46,035 --> 00:47:48,697
I'm in Vegas. Flew out for the weekend.
845
00:47:49,772 --> 00:47:52,468
Here, I want you to say hi to somebody.
846
00:47:53,942 --> 00:47:56,137
Hi, Eddie, this is Patty!
847
00:47:56,244 --> 00:47:59,907
Yeah, I met your father playing keno.
What a hot ticket.
848
00:48:00,215 --> 00:48:03,480
Hey, I heard you got married.
Congratulations.
849
00:48:03,585 --> 00:48:05,177
Your father says she's amazing.
850
00:48:05,286 --> 00:48:07,277
Not really. Can I talk to my dad?
851
00:48:07,488 --> 00:48:08,750
All right.
852
00:48:08,856 --> 00:48:10,255
What's up? You okay, kid?
853
00:48:10,357 --> 00:48:13,019
No, I'm not okay.
Dad, I got big, big problems here.
854
00:48:13,127 --> 00:48:15,823
I think Lila might be...
I think she might be a little off.
855
00:48:19,700 --> 00:48:22,225
Kitty ring? So, let me get this straight.
856
00:48:22,335 --> 00:48:25,736
You think your wife's a nutcase
because on your honeymoon,
857
00:48:25,838 --> 00:48:28,602
in a tropical paradise,
she's singing a lot,
858
00:48:28,708 --> 00:48:30,835
wanting to have sex around the clock,
859
00:48:30,943 --> 00:48:33,605
and, accidentally,
she got a little too much sun?
860
00:48:33,713 --> 00:48:36,011
Well, yeah, but it's a lot worse
than it sounds.
861
00:48:36,115 --> 00:48:38,345
Now listen to me,
and listen to me good!
862
00:48:38,450 --> 00:48:41,783
When your wife on her honeymoon
asks you to cock her,
863
00:48:41,887 --> 00:48:44,151
you cock her good, God damn it!
864
00:48:57,301 --> 00:49:00,293
- Señor Eddie, are you finished?
- Yeah. Thanks, Tito.
865
00:49:00,404 --> 00:49:02,463
Where is your lovely wife this evening?
866
00:49:02,573 --> 00:49:06,065
She got a little too much sun,
so she decided to crash out early.
867
00:49:06,177 --> 00:49:09,943
Are you sure it was the sun
that made her tired, and not you?
868
00:49:11,181 --> 00:49:12,239
You.
869
00:49:12,982 --> 00:49:14,643
- Tito!
- Yes, señorita.
870
00:49:14,751 --> 00:49:17,311
All right, I want another round,
but make it Flytails this time.
871
00:49:17,420 --> 00:49:18,387
No problem.
872
00:49:18,488 --> 00:49:19,546
Hey.
873
00:49:20,423 --> 00:49:22,186
Hey! What are you doing
down here at the bar?
874
00:49:22,292 --> 00:49:23,782
VCR break down?
875
00:49:24,493 --> 00:49:26,893
I was starting to chafe. So...
876
00:49:26,995 --> 00:49:28,826
Well, that's the way it goes.
877
00:49:28,931 --> 00:49:30,523
- You're Miranda, right?
- I am.
878
00:49:30,632 --> 00:49:31,929
I'm Eddie.
879
00:49:32,034 --> 00:49:35,561
- Nice to meet you, officially.
- Nice to meet you, too.
880
00:49:35,671 --> 00:49:37,104
What's a Flytail?
881
00:49:37,206 --> 00:49:40,073
I've got no idea,
but it's got tequila and a cool name,
882
00:49:40,174 --> 00:49:42,404
so I thought I'd give it a whirl.
883
00:49:42,510 --> 00:49:44,273
I like your thinking.
884
00:49:45,246 --> 00:49:47,305
You know who figured out
how to do it right?
885
00:49:47,415 --> 00:49:50,748
The people who live in the spots
where the rest of us vacation.
886
00:49:50,852 --> 00:49:53,548
Oh, yeah. You mean
like those perma-vacationers.
887
00:49:53,653 --> 00:49:54,984
- Yeah.
- Though, I don't know.
888
00:49:55,088 --> 00:49:56,612
You think they're really having
that good a time?
889
00:49:56,723 --> 00:49:57,747
- Oh, hell yeah.
- Really?
890
00:49:57,858 --> 00:49:59,655
- Oh, of course.
- Really? I don't know.
891
00:49:59,759 --> 00:50:02,489
I mean, I always feel like those people,
like, must be running from something.
892
00:50:02,596 --> 00:50:04,359
They're running from their boring lives.
893
00:50:04,464 --> 00:50:07,365
You know, most people get two or three
weeks of vacation to have fun.
894
00:50:07,467 --> 00:50:10,061
These people, man,
they party all year round.
895
00:50:10,169 --> 00:50:12,228
Yeah. Where are you from?
896
00:50:12,338 --> 00:50:14,636
- Oxford, Mississippi.
- Really?
897
00:50:15,507 --> 00:50:16,496
You don't have an accent.
898
00:50:16,609 --> 00:50:18,167
- Excuse me?
- Yeah?
899
00:50:18,711 --> 00:50:20,975
Are you here on your honeymoon?
900
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:22,970
Actually, I am.
901
00:50:23,715 --> 00:50:25,774
Are you having a good time?
902
00:50:28,319 --> 00:50:33,222
We're having an incredible time.
We're having the time of our lives.
903
00:50:33,324 --> 00:50:36,054
What the hell are you doing down here?
Why don't you go to your room?
904
00:50:38,795 --> 00:50:40,160
She's...
905
00:50:40,264 --> 00:50:42,129
Here are your Flytails.
906
00:50:42,933 --> 00:50:43,900
Thank you!
907
00:50:44,001 --> 00:50:45,696
Sweetheart, will you help me
with the drinks?
908
00:50:45,802 --> 00:50:50,432
Yeah, sure, Dream Weaver.
No problem. Just gonna help her.
909
00:50:51,208 --> 00:50:52,641
Take it easy.
910
00:50:54,176 --> 00:50:56,940
Hey, next time you tell people
we're married,
911
00:50:57,046 --> 00:50:59,913
I'd appreciate
if you at least acted happy.
912
00:51:00,049 --> 00:51:02,381
Yeah, well, actually...
913
00:51:02,485 --> 00:51:04,680
Miranda! Where have you been?
914
00:51:04,787 --> 00:51:07,255
Relax, everybody, I got more booze.
915
00:51:08,090 --> 00:51:10,217
- This is my friend, Eddie.
- Hi.
916
00:51:10,325 --> 00:51:13,317
Hey, how'd you manage
to make a friend down here, Miranda?
917
00:51:13,428 --> 00:51:15,293
I put an ad in the paper.
918
00:51:15,397 --> 00:51:19,060
Eddie, this is my family, starting with
my aunt and uncle, Beryl and Boo.
919
00:51:19,167 --> 00:51:21,192
Beryl and Boo.
It's your anniversary, right?
920
00:51:21,303 --> 00:51:22,770
- That's right.
- Congratulations.
921
00:51:22,871 --> 00:51:23,838
Thank you.
922
00:51:23,938 --> 00:51:27,374
I think that's a beautiful name, Boo.
Is that short for something?
923
00:51:27,474 --> 00:51:28,668
I'm Boo.
924
00:51:29,310 --> 00:51:30,299
Sorry.
925
00:51:30,411 --> 00:51:32,971
- Yeah, it's short for Buford.
- Buford?
926
00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:36,142
Okay.
But why don't they call you "Byoo"?
927
00:51:38,952 --> 00:51:41,477
Byoo! Why didn't we ever think of that?
928
00:51:41,587 --> 00:51:44,954
It's been sitting there for 30 years
and we never even noticed it.
929
00:51:45,058 --> 00:51:48,926
And then you walk up, and boom!
You are a hair-trigger is what you are.
930
00:51:49,028 --> 00:51:50,893
That is too funny.
931
00:51:52,899 --> 00:51:54,924
These are my cousins, Buzz and Martin.
932
00:51:55,033 --> 00:51:56,625
- Hello, Mr. Funny, I'm Buzz.
- Pleasure to meet you.
933
00:51:56,735 --> 00:51:58,999
And their lovely wives,
Deborah and Gayla.
934
00:51:59,104 --> 00:52:02,596
I remember you, Eddie.
You're the film buff, right?
935
00:52:02,708 --> 00:52:06,701
And the lovely man in the back is
my Grandpa Anderson.
936
00:52:06,812 --> 00:52:08,973
Hi there.
937
00:52:09,080 --> 00:52:10,274
Well, nice to meet all of you guys.
938
00:52:10,381 --> 00:52:12,542
I'm gonna get running,
but have a great night.
939
00:52:12,650 --> 00:52:14,049
- Excuse me, señor.
- Yeah?
940
00:52:14,151 --> 00:52:17,211
You have a round of shots
from your new friends.
941
00:52:18,789 --> 00:52:20,017
Oh! Well!
942
00:52:20,458 --> 00:52:21,982
Thank you.
943
00:52:23,227 --> 00:52:25,525
Nope. Deborah and myself will not
be having any, thank you.
944
00:52:25,628 --> 00:52:29,928
Yeah, I think I'm gonna pass also.
I just... Yeah. I think I'm gonna...
945
00:52:30,033 --> 00:52:33,935
Yeah, I don't think you're gonna
get off that easy, sweetheart.
946
00:52:34,471 --> 00:52:35,438
Thank you!
947
00:52:35,538 --> 00:52:38,769
Well, might as well give them
their money's worth. Thank you.
948
00:52:38,874 --> 00:52:40,967
Hey, here's to Beryl and Byoo.
949
00:52:41,977 --> 00:52:43,535
He did it again!
950
00:52:45,047 --> 00:52:46,674
You are too much.
951
00:52:47,750 --> 00:52:52,119
All right, everybody. Are you ready?
Bottoms up!
952
00:52:54,522 --> 00:52:56,683
This is awful! That's, like, awful!
953
00:52:56,791 --> 00:52:58,452
It's like somebody
gets inside your chest
954
00:52:58,559 --> 00:53:00,789
and just like, a guy with, like, a bongo.
955
00:53:00,895 --> 00:53:03,523
And we gotta pay for it!
That's the punchline. Oh, man.
956
00:53:03,631 --> 00:53:05,724
So, Martin, you're
a high school baseball coach.
957
00:53:05,833 --> 00:53:07,767
- Yeah.
- That is so cool.
958
00:53:07,869 --> 00:53:10,030
Boo actually coached the team
before Martin did.
959
00:53:10,137 --> 00:53:12,628
Never missed a game in 28 years.
960
00:53:12,739 --> 00:53:15,867
Well, there were a few games
I wish I had missed.
961
00:53:17,244 --> 00:53:19,712
And Miranda coaches
the women's lacrosse team at Ole Miss.
962
00:53:19,813 --> 00:53:20,802
That's right.
963
00:53:20,914 --> 00:53:22,438
- I do.
- You're a lacrosse coach?
964
00:53:22,549 --> 00:53:25,279
- I am.
- That is... Wow. That's...
965
00:53:25,384 --> 00:53:27,818
- So you're a whole family of coaches.
- Yes, we are.
966
00:53:27,920 --> 00:53:30,582
You know, there was a big article about
them in the Oxford Eagle.
967
00:53:30,689 --> 00:53:32,748
You could still probably find that online.
968
00:53:32,858 --> 00:53:35,452
That's amazing.
And what about you, Buzz?
969
00:53:35,561 --> 00:53:36,619
I'm not a coach.
970
00:53:36,729 --> 00:53:39,664
I have a couple Subway sandwich shops
in the Oxford area.
971
00:53:39,764 --> 00:53:42,232
And we're about to open up
a third on Route 122.
972
00:53:42,333 --> 00:53:45,700
We find if you keep the tuna fresh,
they'll keep coming back.
973
00:53:45,804 --> 00:53:47,271
At Subway. Oh, I love Subway.
974
00:53:47,372 --> 00:53:49,203
We're also gonna open
a Ruby Tuesday's.
975
00:53:49,307 --> 00:53:50,535
We're gonna take it to the next level.
976
00:53:50,642 --> 00:53:51,734
But that's this, okay?
977
00:53:51,843 --> 00:53:54,812
That's right. Don't let it leave this circle.
978
00:53:54,912 --> 00:53:56,209
That's exciting. That's great.
979
00:53:56,313 --> 00:53:58,975
We wanna keep it all,
you know, class organizations,
980
00:53:59,083 --> 00:54:00,710
good food, served in a hurry.
981
00:54:00,818 --> 00:54:03,343
And with metal silverware this time.
982
00:54:03,454 --> 00:54:05,081
- That's cool.
- How about you, Eddie?
983
00:54:05,189 --> 00:54:06,520
You a sports fan?
984
00:54:06,623 --> 00:54:10,582
I am. Actually, I own a sporting goods
store up in San Francisco.
985
00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:12,787
Yeah. I love sports.
986
00:54:12,895 --> 00:54:15,864
In fact, I even lost my virginity
on a baseball diamond.
987
00:54:15,965 --> 00:54:18,399
- You're too much. Really?
- Yeah, yeah.
988
00:54:18,501 --> 00:54:21,527
Couple of the older kids
pushed me down, and...
989
00:54:23,406 --> 00:54:25,033
It was not pretty.
990
00:54:28,443 --> 00:54:30,172
Did you file charges?
991
00:54:30,946 --> 00:54:31,970
No.
992
00:54:32,080 --> 00:54:34,947
- He was making a joke, Gayla.
- Yeah, I was just...
993
00:54:35,050 --> 00:54:36,608
About anal rape?
994
00:54:43,090 --> 00:54:44,682
You are a pistol.
995
00:54:48,028 --> 00:54:49,552
My point is,
996
00:54:49,663 --> 00:54:50,891
why do we always assume
997
00:54:50,998 --> 00:54:54,024
that the aliens from the spaceships
are people?
998
00:54:55,168 --> 00:54:59,195
Why couldn't they be cows
from that planet?
999
00:54:59,372 --> 00:55:00,532
Right!
1000
00:55:00,640 --> 00:55:02,335
Do you understand what I'm saying?
1001
00:55:02,442 --> 00:55:04,501
So even if the cows are so evolved
1002
00:55:04,611 --> 00:55:08,342
to the point where they're smart enough
to build flying saucers,
1003
00:55:08,448 --> 00:55:11,440
the people on the planet
are probably so far past that
1004
00:55:11,550 --> 00:55:13,347
that they still look down at the cows.
1005
00:55:13,452 --> 00:55:14,441
Perhaps.
1006
00:55:14,553 --> 00:55:17,920
They're saying, "Look at the dumb cows
and their stupid UFOs."
1007
00:55:18,023 --> 00:55:20,753
Or "FO" to them,
because they know what it is.
1008
00:55:20,859 --> 00:55:24,625
- Yes, exactly.
- Hey. So... Here, okay.
1009
00:55:24,729 --> 00:55:28,130
Can I just say, about your family,
apropos of nothing?
1010
00:55:28,900 --> 00:55:30,959
I love them. They're awesome.
1011
00:55:31,068 --> 00:55:32,695
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
1012
00:55:34,071 --> 00:55:35,698
With one exception.
1013
00:55:35,840 --> 00:55:38,900
I get a weird vibe from... Marvin?
1014
00:55:39,010 --> 00:55:40,307
- Martin.
- Martin.
1015
00:55:40,410 --> 00:55:42,901
Yes, I feel like Martin is
1016
00:55:43,013 --> 00:55:46,414
maybe just a little bit of a big,
wet, flapping douchebag?
1017
00:55:46,516 --> 00:55:50,282
- Dude! That's my cousin!
- Just saying. JS.
1018
00:55:50,387 --> 00:55:51,718
- He's cool.
- Come on.
1019
00:55:51,821 --> 00:55:55,917
He's... Martin's just got a burr
up his butt lately, 'cause he's...
1020
00:55:57,259 --> 00:56:01,923
'Cause there's this guy back home, Cal.
It's his best friend.
1021
00:56:02,998 --> 00:56:06,092
And up until about a month ago,
we were serious, so...
1022
00:56:06,202 --> 00:56:09,194
I guess it comes to a point where it's
gonna happen or it's not gonna happen.
1023
00:56:09,305 --> 00:56:10,431
Right, right.
1024
00:56:10,538 --> 00:56:13,939
And he or you did not want it
to happen, or...
1025
00:56:14,042 --> 00:56:18,411
He's like one of those guys who likes
his routine a lot, you know, so...
1026
00:56:18,513 --> 00:56:20,344
- So he didn't want...
- He didn't want to mess with that.
1027
00:56:20,448 --> 00:56:25,476
What... So, you mean, like... Marriage?
Like he didn't want to marry you?
1028
00:56:25,586 --> 00:56:27,053
- Can you believe that?
- No.
1029
00:56:27,154 --> 00:56:28,451
No, right?
1030
00:56:28,622 --> 00:56:32,285
What is his deal?
What the hell is wrong with Cal?
1031
00:56:32,392 --> 00:56:36,192
So, anyway, I told him that I thought
we should take a breather.
1032
00:56:36,296 --> 00:56:38,958
And now I'm realizing, with all the time
that we're spending apart,
1033
00:56:39,066 --> 00:56:41,159
how different we really are.
1034
00:56:42,134 --> 00:56:44,659
So, what about you, kind sir?
1035
00:56:45,738 --> 00:56:48,206
Do you have a girlfriend back home?
1036
00:56:49,709 --> 00:56:50,903
Miranda!
1037
00:56:52,712 --> 00:56:54,509
- Where the hell have you been?
- I've been here...
1038
00:56:54,614 --> 00:56:57,447
I've been stomping around
for 45 minutes looking for you.
1039
00:56:57,549 --> 00:57:00,040
Everybody up there in the suite
is passed-out drunk.
1040
00:57:00,151 --> 00:57:01,140
So?
1041
00:57:01,253 --> 00:57:03,414
So, nobody's looking after Peepaw.
1042
00:57:03,521 --> 00:57:05,489
I just caught him urinating
in the hallway.
1043
00:57:05,590 --> 00:57:06,818
Oh, shit!
1044
00:57:06,925 --> 00:57:08,017
You think that's funny, mister?
1045
00:57:08,126 --> 00:57:09,787
How about I have you go up there
and clean it up?
1046
00:57:09,894 --> 00:57:11,088
- Martin.
- Martin, relax.
1047
00:57:11,195 --> 00:57:12,184
Sorry.
1048
00:57:12,296 --> 00:57:14,628
We're gonna go deep-sea fishing
tomorrow. Do you wanna join us?
1049
00:57:14,732 --> 00:57:17,724
Now, hold up, all right? We can't just be
inviting anybody to come along.
1050
00:57:17,835 --> 00:57:20,463
Gotta talk to the captain.
There's weight capacity issues.
1051
00:57:20,571 --> 00:57:23,369
Point is moot.
I can't go anyway, so we're cool.
1052
00:57:23,474 --> 00:57:24,805
Good night.
1053
00:57:25,341 --> 00:57:26,467
Good night.
1054
00:57:26,576 --> 00:57:27,873
I'll see you. Okay.
1055
00:57:27,977 --> 00:57:29,444
I smell something weird out here.
1056
00:57:29,545 --> 00:57:33,037
Smells like somebody's
been hitting the devil's lettuce.
1057
00:57:50,565 --> 00:57:52,294
Where have you been?
1058
00:57:53,368 --> 00:57:54,892
Hi! Hey!
1059
00:57:56,404 --> 00:57:59,373
Honey, I was downstairs.
1060
00:57:59,473 --> 00:58:00,565
Downstairs.
1061
00:58:00,675 --> 00:58:02,609
You left here seven hours ago, Eddie.
1062
00:58:02,710 --> 00:58:04,177
You said you were just going
to have dinner.
1063
00:58:04,278 --> 00:58:06,075
I did! I did. I was right down at the bar.
1064
00:58:06,180 --> 00:58:09,581
I had the chimichangas
and the chalupa sampler on the side.
1065
00:58:09,684 --> 00:58:11,515
Chimichangas don't take that long.
1066
00:58:11,618 --> 00:58:14,678
No, no, they were quick. The chalupas
were a little slow coming out.
1067
00:58:14,788 --> 00:58:17,120
But, honey, what happened was
I met this great older couple
1068
00:58:17,223 --> 00:58:20,215
who found out it was our honeymoon,
and so they offered to buy me a shot
1069
00:58:20,327 --> 00:58:22,955
and this other group a shot, and then
we all ended up having shots, and...
1070
00:58:23,063 --> 00:58:24,189
What other group?
1071
00:58:24,297 --> 00:58:28,358
This other group. Just these rednecks
who were down at the bar.
1072
00:58:28,467 --> 00:58:31,561
But cool rednecks, you know,
like Jimmy Carter types.
1073
00:58:31,670 --> 00:58:34,161
Eddie, that still doesn't explain
why you're coming in at 4:00 a.m.
1074
00:58:34,273 --> 00:58:35,672
when the bar closed at 2:00.
1075
00:58:35,774 --> 00:58:38,675
Honey, you said you wanted to sleep,
so I wanted to allow you to rest,
1076
00:58:38,777 --> 00:58:42,975
so I ended up just sitting on the beach
watching the waves all night.
1077
00:58:43,181 --> 00:58:45,308
You were on the beach all this time?
1078
00:58:45,416 --> 00:58:46,474
Yeah.
1079
00:58:46,884 --> 00:58:48,613
- Really?
- Yes. Honey.
1080
00:58:49,921 --> 00:58:51,616
- Eddie Bear.
- Honey.
1081
00:58:52,056 --> 00:58:54,286
I don't want you to be... Careful!
1082
00:58:54,392 --> 00:58:55,450
Okay.
1083
00:58:55,826 --> 00:58:59,091
I'm sorry, honey. I didn't mean
to take it out on you. I just...
1084
00:58:59,196 --> 00:59:01,187
I've been so miserable.
1085
00:59:01,298 --> 00:59:02,390
You know, I have this sunburn.
1086
00:59:02,499 --> 00:59:05,366
I have a pill stuck up my nose.
I can't sleep.
1087
00:59:05,469 --> 00:59:07,733
Wait, what?
You got a pill stuck up your nose?
1088
00:59:07,838 --> 00:59:10,864
Yeah. I tried to take a Tylenol
for the pain, you know,
1089
00:59:10,973 --> 00:59:14,204
and these Mexican pills are so big
that I started choking,
1090
00:59:14,310 --> 00:59:17,609
and then it got stuck
in my stupid deviated septum.
1091
00:59:17,713 --> 00:59:19,476
Wow. Did you try to get it out?
1092
00:59:19,582 --> 00:59:23,609
These crappy tweezers don't work.
It's just stuck.
1093
00:59:23,719 --> 00:59:25,778
Honey. I'm gonna take care
of this, all right?
1094
00:59:25,887 --> 00:59:28,287
- Okay.
- I'm gonna get rid of your little...
1095
00:59:28,390 --> 00:59:31,723
Your little unwanted visitor up there.
Here, go this way.
1096
00:59:31,826 --> 00:59:34,090
- Okay.
- Good. Now tilt back.
1097
00:59:34,195 --> 00:59:36,186
Hey, this is like that game Operation.
1098
00:59:36,297 --> 00:59:37,525
Oh, yeah.
1099
00:59:41,502 --> 00:59:43,402
- You touched my nose!
- Yes, I did.
1100
00:59:43,504 --> 00:59:46,632
- Okay, you gotta hold still, though.
- Okay, okay.
1101
00:59:52,413 --> 00:59:54,574
Wow, that's big.
1102
00:59:54,681 --> 00:59:59,050
My face feels so swollen.
I should take the cream off, I think.
1103
00:59:59,152 --> 01:00:00,449
All right.
1104
01:00:01,754 --> 01:00:03,745
That feels so much better.
1105
01:00:04,257 --> 01:00:05,747
How do I look?
1106
01:00:07,160 --> 01:00:08,718
What, is it bad?
1107
01:00:09,328 --> 01:00:11,694
No. It's not that...
1108
01:00:14,199 --> 01:00:15,564
Oh, my God!
1109
01:00:16,535 --> 01:00:18,867
- Honey.
- It's awful!
1110
01:00:18,970 --> 01:00:21,962
Honey! It's not that bad! Babe!
1111
01:00:22,073 --> 01:00:23,631
Lila, come on!
1112
01:00:23,742 --> 01:00:26,802
Lila, they have our credit card.
We're liable for the damages.
1113
01:00:26,911 --> 01:00:30,074
Go away! This is all your fault!
1114
01:00:30,181 --> 01:00:31,546
How is it my fault?
1115
01:00:31,649 --> 01:00:35,016
You threw such a hissy fit
about your stupid sunblock
1116
01:00:35,119 --> 01:00:37,485
that I wanted to prove you wrong!
1117
01:00:37,922 --> 01:00:40,948
You won, okay? Are you happy now?
1118
01:00:41,057 --> 01:00:43,821
- Lila, that's crazy talk.
- I'm ugly!
1119
01:00:43,927 --> 01:00:45,986
Honey, it's just a sunburn!
1120
01:01:03,011 --> 01:01:04,069
Lila?
1121
01:01:07,516 --> 01:01:08,983
Lila, come on.
1122
01:01:10,152 --> 01:01:13,212
This is ridiculous.
How long are you gonna stay in there?
1123
01:01:13,321 --> 01:01:17,519
None of your business.
Now leave me alone, Edward.
1124
01:01:19,026 --> 01:01:21,153
Babe, come on, I gotta pee.
1125
01:01:21,262 --> 01:01:22,752
- So?
- Let me in.
1126
01:01:23,364 --> 01:01:25,195
Go pee somewhere else.
1127
01:01:25,399 --> 01:01:27,560
Why don't you go explore Mexico
or something?
1128
01:01:27,667 --> 01:01:31,330
Honey, I don't want to explore Mexico
without you. Come on.
1129
01:01:31,771 --> 01:01:33,636
Well, I wanna be alone.
1130
01:01:34,341 --> 01:01:36,070
Well, you gotta eat.
1131
01:01:36,409 --> 01:01:38,400
Wanna have some breakfast?
1132
01:01:38,512 --> 01:01:39,877
Slide the menu under the door.
1133
01:01:43,747 --> 01:01:45,237
- Hey, you!
- Hey!
1134
01:01:45,349 --> 01:01:46,941
Hey.
1135
01:01:47,050 --> 01:01:49,450
I thought you guys were going
on that fishing expedition.
1136
01:01:49,553 --> 01:01:50,986
We slept in.
1137
01:01:51,088 --> 01:01:54,353
Yeah, I'm out a $150 deposit,
thanks to you, Mr. Party Boy.
1138
01:01:54,815 --> 01:01:56,908
Well, I guess that's how y'all do it
in California, huh?
1139
01:01:57,016 --> 01:02:00,179
You just rock on with no consideration
for other people's plans, right?
1140
01:02:00,286 --> 01:02:02,777
All right, Martin,
stop being such a tightwad.
1141
01:02:02,888 --> 01:02:04,446
We all gonna chip in for the boat.
1142
01:02:04,557 --> 01:02:07,583
I'm not gonna chip in
for no goddamn boat.
1143
01:02:07,693 --> 01:02:10,184
- You gotta hear this one. You tell him.
- No, you. All right.
1144
01:02:10,296 --> 01:02:12,730
Earlier today we were walking on
the beach, having our morning coffee,
1145
01:02:12,831 --> 01:02:14,458
and we got to talking about last night.
1146
01:02:14,566 --> 01:02:17,296
Anyhow, Buzz was just saying how
much fun it was getting to know you.
1147
01:02:17,402 --> 01:02:19,267
- It's really been a pleasure.
- Oh, yeah. Me, too.
1148
01:02:19,371 --> 01:02:20,565
By the way, for his birthday this year,
1149
01:02:20,672 --> 01:02:23,903
we're gonna get Boo
a license plate that says "Byoo"!
1150
01:02:24,008 --> 01:02:25,066
Can you imagine that?
Christmas morning,
1151
01:02:25,176 --> 01:02:26,939
he's gonna open it up,
it's gonna say "Byoo"!
1152
01:02:27,044 --> 01:02:28,409
- No numbers. "Byoo"!
- "Byoo"!
1153
01:02:28,512 --> 01:02:30,309
That's great. He'll love that.
He'll love that.
1154
01:02:30,414 --> 01:02:32,405
But that's a big secret.
Mum's the word, okay?
1155
01:02:32,516 --> 01:02:33,983
Who am I gonna tell?
1156
01:02:34,084 --> 01:02:36,279
- Good to see you.
- Take it easy.
1157
01:02:36,387 --> 01:02:38,719
Eddie, what do you have there?
It looks like you're eating for two.
1158
01:02:38,822 --> 01:02:41,290
Oh, no, no. Yeah. No, no. I just...
1159
01:02:41,392 --> 01:02:46,352
I just wanted to load up on some carbs
this morning, so...
1160
01:02:46,462 --> 01:02:49,898
And eggs, too. Eggs and carbs,
and, you know, full-on...
1161
01:02:49,999 --> 01:02:51,364
Hey, here's something to do.
1162
01:02:51,467 --> 01:02:55,563
There's a double-decker bus running
tours out to a town called Miraflores.
1163
01:02:55,671 --> 01:02:57,536
It's the basil capital of Mexico.
1164
01:02:57,639 --> 01:02:58,731
Let me see that.
1165
01:02:58,840 --> 01:03:00,398
- Did you say "bagel capital"?
- No.
1166
01:03:00,509 --> 01:03:03,069
I've always wondered how they cultivate
and harvest basil. That'd be great.
1167
01:03:03,178 --> 01:03:07,239
- Me, too. Education. No, it's a herb.
- It's a herb. Italian herb.
1168
01:03:07,349 --> 01:03:08,338
She puts it on a lot of
the food she cooks.
1169
01:03:08,450 --> 01:03:09,439
Everything.
1170
01:03:09,551 --> 01:03:11,678
- Oh, everything. I love it. Pesto.
- It's delicious.
1171
01:03:11,786 --> 01:03:14,311
- Is it spicy?
- No, it's not spicy.
1172
01:03:14,422 --> 01:03:15,946
You can order a whole box of it.
1173
01:03:17,258 --> 01:03:19,749
Uncle Tito will take care
of everything. Okay.
1174
01:03:19,860 --> 01:03:23,091
Hey. Listen, Tito, I need you
to do me a big, big favor.
1175
01:03:23,197 --> 01:03:24,721
300 pesos.
1176
01:03:24,832 --> 01:03:25,924
You don't even know what it is yet.
1177
01:03:26,033 --> 01:03:28,297
It is something nasty,
or you would be doing it yourself.
1178
01:03:28,401 --> 01:03:29,959
All right, fine.
1179
01:03:39,012 --> 01:03:41,810
Honey? Is that you?
1180
01:03:45,651 --> 01:03:49,417
Good. I'll open the door,
and you slide it in.
1181
01:04:04,168 --> 01:04:05,999
Thank you.
1182
01:04:07,672 --> 01:04:10,800
Thanks. Okay. A little bit of salsa.
1183
01:04:10,908 --> 01:04:11,897
Are you okay?
1184
01:04:40,236 --> 01:04:41,635
But he keeps nipping at me.
1185
01:05:21,774 --> 01:05:22,866
Lime!
1186
01:05:23,910 --> 01:05:25,275
Oh, my God.
1187
01:05:26,812 --> 01:05:27,779
Good.
1188
01:05:29,180 --> 01:05:30,272
Hello?
1189
01:05:32,717 --> 01:05:37,245
Hey, Mac! Listen, man,
I owe you, buddy. This place is like...
1190
01:05:37,622 --> 01:05:40,113
This is like my favorite place ever!
1191
01:05:40,258 --> 01:05:41,987
I told you you'd love it.
1192
01:05:42,093 --> 01:05:44,653
And the people, the people down here!
1193
01:05:45,863 --> 01:05:47,592
Oh, my God, I know. Aren't they great?
1194
01:05:47,698 --> 01:05:49,598
I'm seriously thinking
I should sell the store
1195
01:05:49,700 --> 01:05:50,962
and open up a place down here.
1196
01:05:51,068 --> 01:05:52,695
I mean, wouldn't that be incredible?
1197
01:05:53,637 --> 01:05:54,865
So, how's Lila?
1198
01:05:54,972 --> 01:05:57,668
- Oh, I'm sorry, your name's Joachim?
- Who?
1199
01:05:57,774 --> 01:05:59,036
Your wife. Lila.
1200
01:06:01,911 --> 01:06:05,210
She's not so good.
She got a little sunburned, so...
1201
01:06:06,082 --> 01:06:08,312
I've been hanging out
with this other girl.
1202
01:06:08,418 --> 01:06:09,476
Yeah.
1203
01:06:10,420 --> 01:06:12,513
Wait. What, are you serious?
1204
01:06:13,388 --> 01:06:16,152
Divorce lawyer?
What the hell are you talking about?
1205
01:06:16,525 --> 01:06:17,924
Do you get a buzz off it?
1206
01:06:28,769 --> 01:06:30,999
I'm telling you, the second we
got married it's like a switch flipped.
1207
01:06:31,105 --> 01:06:32,470
She's a nightmare, Mac.
1208
01:06:32,573 --> 01:06:35,269
Yeah, well, bitches be crazy, man.
You know that.
1209
01:06:35,376 --> 01:06:36,843
Tammy's always flipping switches.
1210
01:06:36,944 --> 01:06:37,968
What are you talking about?
1211
01:06:38,079 --> 01:06:40,138
You're always talking about
how happy you are with her.
1212
01:06:40,247 --> 01:06:43,273
Look, you wanna know the secret
to a happy marriage? Do what I do.
1213
01:06:43,383 --> 01:06:46,546
Plaster on a fake smile,
plow through the next half-century,
1214
01:06:46,653 --> 01:06:49,918
sit back, relax and wait
for the sweet embrace of death.
1215
01:06:50,023 --> 01:06:52,218
- Hey. Wow!
- What about my hips?
1216
01:06:52,792 --> 01:06:54,817
- And my butt?
- Great. I love it. Looks great.
1217
01:06:54,928 --> 01:06:56,293
Where is it?
1218
01:06:59,231 --> 01:07:01,256
- Come on back!
- Yes! I'm coming, Alfons!
1219
01:07:01,367 --> 01:07:04,768
So, this other girl. It doesn't bother her
that you're a newlywed?
1220
01:07:04,870 --> 01:07:08,772
No. I mean, I haven't exactly made it
clear to her yet, but I'm going to.
1221
01:07:08,874 --> 01:07:10,637
I just have to find
the right moment, you know?
1222
01:07:10,743 --> 01:07:11,801
Eddie. Eddie!
1223
01:07:11,910 --> 01:07:13,036
Hold on a second.
1224
01:07:13,144 --> 01:07:15,874
Eddie! Come on, there are sea lions
in the ocean!
1225
01:07:15,980 --> 01:07:17,743
Really? Okay, hang on!
1226
01:07:17,849 --> 01:07:21,580
She found sea lions now, come on!
Isn't that amazing? I gotta go!
1227
01:07:21,686 --> 01:07:25,554
Don't! Eddie, Eddie! Come home!
Come home! Come home, Eddie!
1228
01:07:26,591 --> 01:07:27,649
Wow.
1229
01:07:27,759 --> 01:07:31,718
Ashes to ashes, funk to funky
1230
01:07:31,828 --> 01:07:35,628
We know Major Tom's a junkie
1231
01:07:35,732 --> 01:07:38,792
Strung out in heaven's high
1232
01:07:38,902 --> 01:07:43,066
Hitting an all-time low
1233
01:07:44,306 --> 01:07:46,331
Wow, what a great day.
1234
01:07:46,442 --> 01:07:48,603
I had so much fun.
1235
01:07:49,845 --> 01:07:52,143
Here are your Mexican sombreros.
1236
01:07:54,150 --> 01:07:56,277
Look, the gang's back.
1237
01:07:56,385 --> 01:07:57,875
Basil sniffers.
1238
01:07:58,120 --> 01:07:59,144
Okay, let's hurry up.
1239
01:07:59,254 --> 01:08:01,586
We're supposed to meet everybody
on the veranda in 15 minutes, right?
1240
01:08:01,690 --> 01:08:03,658
Right, right. Okay, good.
1241
01:08:09,064 --> 01:08:10,292
Hey, Dad.
1242
01:08:10,532 --> 01:08:12,591
There's the guy from San Francisco
whose wife was murdered.
1243
01:08:12,701 --> 01:08:14,794
- Where?
- The guy right there.
1244
01:08:15,402 --> 01:08:18,667
Yeah, some crazy guy
hacked her up with an ice pick.
1245
01:08:19,873 --> 01:08:23,138
They caught the dude, though.
Some guy named Ronald.
1246
01:08:24,178 --> 01:08:25,475
Hey, baby!
1247
01:08:25,879 --> 01:08:29,178
Eddie Bear's home!
And boy, do I got a story for you.
1248
01:08:29,282 --> 01:08:31,546
Well, I hope so,
seeing that you've been gone all day.
1249
01:08:31,651 --> 01:08:34,745
Honey. Guess what happened?
I go downstairs to get your breakfast.
1250
01:08:34,854 --> 01:08:36,822
Who do I run into out of the clear blue?
1251
01:08:36,923 --> 01:08:38,652
- Who?
- Yvon Chouinard!
1252
01:08:38,758 --> 01:08:39,747
Who?
1253
01:08:39,859 --> 01:08:42,327
Yvon Chouinard,
big cheese at Patagonia.
1254
01:08:42,428 --> 01:08:43,690
- And?
- And?
1255
01:08:43,795 --> 01:08:46,059
Come on, honey,
Patagonia's like my biggest supplier.
1256
01:08:46,164 --> 01:08:47,688
I carry their entire line. You know that.
1257
01:08:47,799 --> 01:08:50,359
So, Yvon and his buddies
are going out golfing. Water?
1258
01:08:50,469 --> 01:08:51,697
- No.
- They ask me if I want to go.
1259
01:08:51,803 --> 01:08:54,465
So, what am I gonna do?
Say no? No. Right?
1260
01:08:54,573 --> 01:08:55,870
But you didn't bring your clubs.
1261
01:08:55,974 --> 01:08:57,771
I demoed a set! TaylorMade!
1262
01:08:57,876 --> 01:09:01,107
Sweet, too!
Added like 30 extra yards to my drives!
1263
01:09:01,278 --> 01:09:03,872
- Who were the buddies?
- Just a couple of guys.
1264
01:09:03,981 --> 01:09:07,940
This guy Lenny from Akron, insurance
guy. Kind of a stiff, but good golfer.
1265
01:09:08,052 --> 01:09:10,145
And the local Patagonia rep.
1266
01:09:10,354 --> 01:09:11,981
What was his name?
1267
01:09:14,124 --> 01:09:15,523
His name was Six-toe.
1268
01:09:15,625 --> 01:09:17,593
- Six-toe?
- Yeah, Six-toe.
1269
01:09:17,694 --> 01:09:20,629
Amputee.
Lost four toes scaling up Everest.
1270
01:09:20,730 --> 01:09:22,163
Did it without oxygen.
One of those guys.
1271
01:09:22,265 --> 01:09:25,234
By the way, amazingly, he showed me.
Retained the outer toes,
1272
01:09:25,335 --> 01:09:26,962
lost the middle stuff
but kept the balance points,
1273
01:09:27,070 --> 01:09:28,059
which are all you need.
1274
01:09:28,171 --> 01:09:30,071
In fact, he says
it gives him a better swing
1275
01:09:30,205 --> 01:09:31,399
because he swings
right through the ball,
1276
01:09:31,507 --> 01:09:33,873
less resistance. Fascinating guy.
1277
01:09:34,576 --> 01:09:37,636
Eddie, since when has golf
taken seven hours?
1278
01:09:37,746 --> 01:09:40,306
Yeah, well, we got behind
a Korean couple, so...
1279
01:09:40,415 --> 01:09:42,110
But I'll tell you, it actually worked
to my advantage,
1280
01:09:42,217 --> 01:09:43,844
because we got to talk shop,
1281
01:09:43,951 --> 01:09:45,612
and if things pan out
the way I think they might,
1282
01:09:45,720 --> 01:09:48,712
we could be talking about some
really sweet credit terms for the store.
1283
01:09:48,823 --> 01:09:51,690
Why didn't you call me?
I've been worried sick about you.
1284
01:09:51,793 --> 01:09:53,055
Honey, I did!
1285
01:09:53,161 --> 01:09:56,324
You get a mile outside of this place, it's
like trying to get reception on the moon!
1286
01:09:56,430 --> 01:09:59,058
What are you doing?
Are you going somewhere?
1287
01:09:59,166 --> 01:10:02,897
Lila, I just told you, I'm taking them
out to dinner in five minutes.
1288
01:10:03,003 --> 01:10:04,834
When did you say that?
1289
01:10:05,138 --> 01:10:08,403
Okay. First of all, these people...
Let me explain something to you.
1290
01:10:08,508 --> 01:10:11,944
These people, okay, they're primed.
This opportunity... Do you understand?
1291
01:10:12,045 --> 01:10:14,673
This is the head of an incredibly
important outerwear company.
1292
01:10:14,780 --> 01:10:16,008
International, okay?
1293
01:10:16,115 --> 01:10:18,948
They have taken the bait, and now
I just gotta gaff 'em, get 'em in the boat
1294
01:10:19,051 --> 01:10:21,542
and club 'em to death. Kill time, honey.
1295
01:10:21,654 --> 01:10:23,178
Kill time. I can't let the air out.
1296
01:10:23,289 --> 01:10:25,450
Then all the momentum I built up all day
just evaporates.
1297
01:10:25,558 --> 01:10:26,752
By the way, shouldn't take too long,
1298
01:10:26,859 --> 01:10:29,760
because they started dropping back
the shots about two hours ago.
1299
01:10:29,861 --> 01:10:33,922
So... Very interested
in anything anybody has to say.
1300
01:10:34,032 --> 01:10:35,659
So, you know, it's gonna be good.
1301
01:10:35,767 --> 01:10:39,259
All right. Well, hang on a sec.
Let me put on some makeup.
1302
01:10:39,370 --> 01:10:40,837
You're coming?
1303
01:10:41,005 --> 01:10:42,768
Of course I'm coming.
1304
01:10:44,107 --> 01:10:45,870
Yes! Good! Sweet!
1305
01:10:46,043 --> 01:10:50,605
I'll just call down and tell them
to make room for one more on the skiff.
1306
01:10:52,783 --> 01:10:54,216
On the skiff?
1307
01:10:54,751 --> 01:10:58,949
We're going out on this little 12-foot
Zodiac, inflatable job, twilight cruise.
1308
01:10:59,056 --> 01:11:01,024
No, Eddie, I can't go on a boat.
1309
01:11:01,123 --> 01:11:03,057
Oh, crap. That's right.
1310
01:11:03,693 --> 01:11:04,717
You sure?
1311
01:11:04,827 --> 01:11:07,796
Because really, honey, we're only going
a couple miles out past the breakwater.
1312
01:11:07,897 --> 01:11:11,424
Right to where the continental shelf
drops off? It's supposed to be amazing.
1313
01:11:11,534 --> 01:11:15,561
The guy said it's where they filmed
that movie, The Perfect Storm?
1314
01:11:16,805 --> 01:11:21,333
Honey, I'm sorry, I feel really bad,
but there's no way I'd last out there.
1315
01:11:22,110 --> 01:11:24,374
You know what? Screw it. Screw it!
1316
01:11:24,479 --> 01:11:26,242
What am I doing?
I'm on my honeymoon!
1317
01:11:26,348 --> 01:11:27,542
Thank you for getting my head straight.
1318
01:11:27,649 --> 01:11:31,779
- I'm gonna call and cancel. Right now.
- What about the credit terms?
1319
01:11:32,686 --> 01:11:36,349
All right. You know what? Fine. You win.
We do it your way.
1320
01:11:36,457 --> 01:11:40,359
I'll go, finish the deal quickly, come
back, take you out for a late dinner.
1321
01:11:40,461 --> 01:11:42,486
That sound good? All right?
1322
01:11:42,596 --> 01:11:43,585
- Okay.
- Good.
1323
01:11:43,697 --> 01:11:46,723
Also, there's some important stuff
I wanna talk to you about.
1324
01:11:46,833 --> 01:11:49,495
Oh, yeah? Like, good stuff or bad stuff?
1325
01:11:50,570 --> 01:11:52,936
Like, well, you know,
at first you might flinch,
1326
01:11:53,039 --> 01:11:56,497
but then, I think, in the long run,
great stuff.
1327
01:11:57,577 --> 01:11:59,875
- Okay.
- Okay, good.
1328
01:12:00,679 --> 01:12:02,374
- Oh, honey?
- Yeah?
1329
01:12:02,481 --> 01:12:04,381
I'm sorry I swatted you away
this morning.
1330
01:12:04,483 --> 01:12:06,849
I didn't mean to hit you so hard.
1331
01:12:07,352 --> 01:12:08,910
Swatted me away?
1332
01:12:09,521 --> 01:12:11,853
You know, when you were
sitting outside the bathroom door
1333
01:12:11,957 --> 01:12:16,087
after you dropped off the food,
and you put my hand on your schlong?
1334
01:12:16,460 --> 01:12:20,260
You just surprised me, you know?
And I wasn't feeling so well.
1335
01:12:20,765 --> 01:12:23,393
But I promise
I'll make it up to you tonight.
1336
01:12:23,501 --> 01:12:24,627
Super.
1337
01:12:31,308 --> 01:12:33,401
- Hey there, Tito.
- Hey, Señor Eddie.
1338
01:12:33,510 --> 01:12:34,534
How's it going, man?
1339
01:12:34,644 --> 01:12:36,271
- I'm okay.
- Yeah? Sure?
1340
01:12:36,379 --> 01:12:38,847
'Cause you look like you got
a little hitch in your giddyup.
1341
01:12:38,949 --> 01:12:41,577
Oh, that. No, it is a long story.
I will not bore you with it.
1342
01:12:41,685 --> 01:12:44,779
No, no, no. You bore me. Bore me.
Please. I got all the time in the world.
1343
01:12:44,887 --> 01:12:46,411
I'd love to hear. What happened?
1344
01:12:46,522 --> 01:12:49,218
Okay. After I dropped the food off
at your room this morning,
1345
01:12:49,325 --> 01:12:52,419
I placed my penis in your wife's hand
and she smacked it away.
1346
01:12:52,528 --> 01:12:54,792
She nailed me pretty good, too.
1347
01:12:55,664 --> 01:12:57,256
Are you for real?
1348
01:12:58,200 --> 01:13:01,829
What are you doing? You don't just...
You crossed a serious line there.
1349
01:13:01,936 --> 01:13:05,633
That's not acceptable.
You don't do that. Come on.
1350
01:13:07,742 --> 01:13:11,269
Screw off! You're joking, right?
You had me.
1351
01:13:11,379 --> 01:13:12,778
- No.
- That's good!
1352
01:13:12,880 --> 01:13:16,577
No, I'm not joking. That's outrageous!
That's not acceptable behavior.
1353
01:13:16,683 --> 01:13:20,779
You don't just go and take your penis
and put it in my wife's hand.
1354
01:13:21,755 --> 01:13:24,121
Well, when you put it that way...
1355
01:13:24,257 --> 01:13:28,125
Wow, I'm sorry. I feel really bad, okay?
1356
01:13:28,228 --> 01:13:29,923
What were you thinking?
1357
01:13:30,029 --> 01:13:31,121
It's just that, well...
1358
01:13:31,230 --> 01:13:34,722
You come down here and you try
to bribe me with your porno tapes,
1359
01:13:34,834 --> 01:13:38,565
and then I see you running around
with other women on your honeymoon,
1360
01:13:38,671 --> 01:13:43,005
and I just figured that,
"Anything goes with this guy, hey?"
1361
01:13:48,013 --> 01:13:49,605
All right, fine.
1362
01:13:49,781 --> 01:13:52,079
I am sorry
for the misunderstanding, señor!
1363
01:14:02,259 --> 01:14:03,920
- Hey!
- Hey!
1364
01:14:05,229 --> 01:14:07,220
Wow. You look beautiful.
1365
01:14:07,331 --> 01:14:08,491
Thanks.
1366
01:14:09,967 --> 01:14:13,767
- So, you gonna walk me over?
- Yeah. Yeah. Hey, listen.
1367
01:14:14,938 --> 01:14:16,997
I gotta tell you something.
1368
01:14:17,473 --> 01:14:21,239
And it's something I should have said
before, but I didn't, and...
1369
01:14:21,344 --> 01:14:23,209
I know about your wife.
1370
01:14:24,113 --> 01:14:25,273
You do?
1371
01:14:27,183 --> 01:14:28,207
How?
1372
01:14:28,317 --> 01:14:32,413
Beryl and everybody overheard some
people talking about it on the bus.
1373
01:14:32,521 --> 01:14:35,081
They were talking about it on the bus?
1374
01:14:35,190 --> 01:14:36,885
So it's true, then?
1375
01:14:37,225 --> 01:14:42,185
Yeah, but it's really important
for you to know that it is over.
1376
01:14:42,631 --> 01:14:44,326
And I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier.
It's just...
1377
01:14:44,433 --> 01:14:45,900
You know,
at first it didn't even occur to me
1378
01:14:46,000 --> 01:14:47,524
because, you know,
when I first met you...
1379
01:14:47,635 --> 01:14:52,299
And then... I don't know, I didn't realize
I was gonna like you so much.
1380
01:14:53,107 --> 01:14:56,406
And I didn't wanna freak you out, so...
1381
01:14:56,844 --> 01:14:58,675
You wouldn't have freaked me out.
1382
01:14:58,779 --> 01:15:01,179
Really? So you're not mad?
1383
01:15:01,714 --> 01:15:02,703
No.
1384
01:15:04,417 --> 01:15:05,611
I'm sad.
1385
01:15:06,186 --> 01:15:08,347
That must have been horrible.
1386
01:15:09,556 --> 01:15:13,617
It was. It is. I mean, it sucks.
1387
01:15:14,994 --> 01:15:18,725
You're like the coolest person
on the planet.
1388
01:15:20,599 --> 01:15:21,759
Really.
1389
01:15:22,701 --> 01:15:26,034
No, I mean,
I wasn't expecting this reaction.
1390
01:15:26,505 --> 01:15:29,065
- So your whole family knows?
- Yeah.
1391
01:15:32,009 --> 01:15:34,307
I can't imagine they're taking it
as well as you are.
1392
01:15:34,412 --> 01:15:36,107
Of course they are.
1393
01:15:36,481 --> 01:15:38,972
- They just wanna support you.
- Even Martin?
1394
01:15:39,083 --> 01:15:42,211
Boo instructed everybody
not to even bring it up.
1395
01:15:44,655 --> 01:15:45,883
Dynamite!
1396
01:15:50,527 --> 01:15:51,619
The burros.
1397
01:15:51,728 --> 01:15:54,697
You go to the top of a mountain and
they leave you there with a pack of...
1398
01:15:54,798 --> 01:15:56,390
No, all the way up
to the top of the mountain,
1399
01:15:56,500 --> 01:15:57,831
and you can camp out there overnight.
1400
01:15:57,934 --> 01:15:59,526
- By starlight, you make a fire...
- We should do that.
1401
01:15:59,636 --> 01:16:00,898
- Totally. Totally in.
- I'm serious.
1402
01:16:01,003 --> 01:16:03,028
- Anytime.
- We could do it the day after tomorrow.
1403
01:16:03,139 --> 01:16:06,267
That would be... Okay, I have some
things that I have to move around.
1404
01:16:06,375 --> 01:16:09,037
It will be a bit of a headache,
but I can make it happen.
1405
01:16:09,145 --> 01:16:10,134
Buzz.
1406
01:16:10,279 --> 01:16:13,442
Am I the only one who's still
a little bothered by this guy?
1407
01:16:13,549 --> 01:16:14,811
I believe you are.
1408
01:16:14,917 --> 01:16:17,442
All right.
Well, let me ask you this, okay?
1409
01:16:17,552 --> 01:16:19,918
This dude's supposed to be
down here in mourning.
1410
01:16:20,021 --> 01:16:21,852
What's he doing
canoodling with Miranda?
1411
01:16:21,956 --> 01:16:23,583
- And the goat was dead?
- No, no.
1412
01:16:23,691 --> 01:16:26,524
- Really?
- The goat got back up.
1413
01:16:26,628 --> 01:16:30,928
Everybody mourns in their own way.
Why don't you cut him some slack?
1414
01:16:31,031 --> 01:16:32,259
He likes her and she likes him.
1415
01:16:32,366 --> 01:16:34,334
And I don't think
they're breaking any rules, all right?
1416
01:16:34,434 --> 01:16:36,061
I don't trust him.
1417
01:17:18,242 --> 01:17:19,300
Hey.
1418
01:17:20,110 --> 01:17:21,338
- Hi.
- Hi.
1419
01:17:21,512 --> 01:17:22,604
How you doing?
1420
01:17:22,713 --> 01:17:25,511
Honey, I'm sorry
for ruining our honeymoon.
1421
01:17:26,283 --> 01:17:27,944
I'm such a sucky wife.
1422
01:17:28,052 --> 01:17:29,451
No, honey, you're not.
1423
01:17:29,553 --> 01:17:33,819
You're great.
You're an amazing, beautiful person.
1424
01:17:35,325 --> 01:17:37,919
However, I do think we should talk.
1425
01:17:38,728 --> 01:17:41,492
Hold on. I have something for you.
1426
01:17:46,335 --> 01:17:48,565
I love that. Thank you.
1427
01:17:50,138 --> 01:17:53,266
So anyway, I've been thinking...
1428
01:17:53,375 --> 01:17:55,104
Honey, turn it over.
1429
01:18:05,686 --> 01:18:07,313
Did you make this?
1430
01:18:08,089 --> 01:18:09,579
Before we left.
1431
01:18:10,157 --> 01:18:11,249
You made this?
1432
01:18:11,359 --> 01:18:14,260
- You sewed this yourself?
- Yeah.
1433
01:18:14,695 --> 01:18:16,128
And the hearts?
1434
01:18:16,230 --> 01:18:17,754
Your heart and my heart,
1435
01:18:17,864 --> 01:18:19,058
together
1436
01:18:20,133 --> 01:18:21,327
forever.
1437
01:18:23,536 --> 01:18:26,562
So, honey, what did you
wanna talk to me about?
1438
01:18:28,575 --> 01:18:33,171
I want to talk to you
about nothing right now.
1439
01:18:33,279 --> 01:18:37,613
I want you to get some rest
and we'll talk in the morning, okay?
1440
01:18:39,084 --> 01:18:40,574
Give me a kiss.
1441
01:18:40,786 --> 01:18:41,844
Okay.
1442
01:18:42,454 --> 01:18:44,319
Eddie Bear, I love you.
1443
01:18:46,691 --> 01:18:49,524
I love, love, love, love, love...
1444
01:18:50,361 --> 01:18:52,124
Love, love, love.
1445
01:18:53,665 --> 01:18:55,098
- Okay.
- Okay.
1446
01:18:57,468 --> 01:19:00,369
So, what's this important stuff
you wanted to talk to me about?
1447
01:19:00,471 --> 01:19:01,802
Yeah, okay.
1448
01:19:01,905 --> 01:19:03,270
Oh, my God!
1449
01:19:03,373 --> 01:19:05,898
This guac is fucking awesome!
1450
01:19:06,009 --> 01:19:08,170
Is it? That's good. Good.
1451
01:19:08,278 --> 01:19:10,269
Your hand, Eddie.
1452
01:19:13,450 --> 01:19:16,146
Look, I'm just gonna
lay this out there, all right?
1453
01:19:16,253 --> 01:19:19,780
I have not been a good husband.
I've been bad.
1454
01:19:21,691 --> 01:19:25,149
I am so glad to hear you say that, Eddie.
1455
01:19:25,261 --> 01:19:27,491
I mean, I thought I was losing my mind.
1456
01:19:27,596 --> 01:19:29,325
It's like the moment we got married,
1457
01:19:29,432 --> 01:19:33,198
a switch went off
and you became this loony bird.
1458
01:19:33,335 --> 01:19:34,495
Yes! Yes, you're right!
1459
01:19:34,602 --> 01:19:38,003
I did turn into... I've been a loony bird,
and it's not you, it's me.
1460
01:19:38,106 --> 01:19:39,767
This conversation
is all about my deficiencies,
1461
01:19:39,874 --> 01:19:43,833
because as a wife you've been spot-on.
You've been incredible.
1462
01:19:43,945 --> 01:19:46,436
You've been doing everything
a wife should do,
1463
01:19:46,548 --> 01:19:49,984
and any man would be happy
to have a wife like you,
1464
01:19:50,084 --> 01:19:52,678
and kudos to you for putting up with me
1465
01:19:52,786 --> 01:19:55,516
and all of my junk.
1466
01:19:55,622 --> 01:19:56,919
Thank you.
1467
01:19:57,391 --> 01:20:02,055
But the point is, honey, you shouldn't
have to put up with your husband.
1468
01:20:02,895 --> 01:20:05,864
You deserve so much better.
You understand what I'm saying?
1469
01:20:05,965 --> 01:20:08,490
Yeah, you're apologizing.
That's very sweet.
1470
01:20:08,601 --> 01:20:10,762
No. No, I'm not... I'm not...
1471
01:20:11,971 --> 01:20:14,906
Oh, God, that frigging stuff is hot.
1472
01:20:15,007 --> 01:20:16,474
Honey, look...
1473
01:20:17,542 --> 01:20:19,305
In life, sometimes...
1474
01:20:20,412 --> 01:20:21,845
Sometimes we make choices,
1475
01:20:21,947 --> 01:20:26,407
and in retrospect, we realize
the choice wasn't the right choice.
1476
01:20:27,219 --> 01:20:28,880
Not a bad choice, not a good choice,
1477
01:20:28,987 --> 01:20:35,051
just not the correct choice
for the people who are involved.
1478
01:20:35,826 --> 01:20:38,124
What are you getting at, Eddie?
1479
01:20:38,429 --> 01:20:39,487
Lila,
1480
01:20:40,731 --> 01:20:43,996
we're not gonna be happy together
in San Francisco.
1481
01:20:47,370 --> 01:20:51,363
Rotterdam! That's where you gotta be.
It hit me!
1482
01:20:51,474 --> 01:20:53,374
That's where your destiny is.
1483
01:20:53,476 --> 01:20:55,171
Cleaning up the bogs,
1484
01:20:55,278 --> 01:20:57,212
and getting the environment
right over there.
1485
01:20:57,313 --> 01:20:58,371
That's what you should be doing,
1486
01:20:58,515 --> 01:21:02,849
not hanging out in San Francisco
with me, some sporting-goods schmo...
1487
01:21:02,951 --> 01:21:04,282
Oh, my God!
1488
01:21:07,623 --> 01:21:10,387
Are you saying
what I think you're saying?
1489
01:21:10,793 --> 01:21:12,226
I'm saying...
1490
01:21:12,995 --> 01:21:13,984
Lila?
1491
01:21:14,096 --> 01:21:17,031
This is gonna be a good thing, Lila.
1492
01:21:17,132 --> 01:21:19,532
Lila, it's better. It's for the...
1493
01:21:22,470 --> 01:21:26,201
Lila, you got a little piece of tri-tip
coming out here.
1494
01:21:30,912 --> 01:21:33,972
This is so for the best. Do you hear me?
1495
01:21:34,080 --> 01:21:35,707
Can I call my mom?
1496
01:21:35,816 --> 01:21:39,252
Yes, of course!
You wanna call her, go ahead, call her.
1497
01:21:43,590 --> 01:21:45,615
- Hello?
- Mom, it's me.
1498
01:21:46,493 --> 01:21:48,688
No, no, I'm okay. It's just...
1499
01:21:49,595 --> 01:21:51,187
Something's happened.
1500
01:21:51,297 --> 01:21:52,594
Something huge.
1501
01:21:52,698 --> 01:21:55,496
Eddie's moving to Rotterdam with me.
1502
01:21:56,335 --> 01:21:58,064
No, no, wait! No, Lila, no.
1503
01:21:58,170 --> 01:22:01,003
He doesn't wanna be
a sporting-goods schmo anymore!
1504
01:22:01,106 --> 01:22:03,006
Hold on, he wants to tell you himself.
1505
01:22:03,107 --> 01:22:04,972
I didn't want... Hello?
1506
01:22:05,076 --> 01:22:06,065
Hey, Eddie! You having fun?
1507
01:22:06,177 --> 01:22:07,576
Yeah, yeah, we're having a ball.
1508
01:22:07,679 --> 01:22:09,340
And I hear you're moving to Germany?
1509
01:22:09,447 --> 01:22:10,573
No, no.
1510
01:22:10,682 --> 01:22:13,048
See, Lila got a little bit
ahead of herself on that one,
1511
01:22:13,151 --> 01:22:17,611
and I haven't actually gotten through
the entire plan with her, but she...
1512
01:22:18,055 --> 01:22:20,046
You know what? I gotta go.
1513
01:22:20,491 --> 01:22:21,719
I gotta say goodbye, okay?
1514
01:22:21,825 --> 01:22:23,816
- Okay. Yes.
- Love you! Bye!
1515
01:22:24,328 --> 01:22:26,922
- Hey!
- Isn't he the greatest?
1516
01:22:27,030 --> 01:22:28,395
What's that?
1517
01:22:29,399 --> 01:22:33,062
I know. I know.
1518
01:22:33,169 --> 01:22:35,364
- How you guys doing?
- Not too good, actually.
1519
01:22:35,471 --> 01:22:37,098
Beryl and Boo are set
to renew their vows on the terrace
1520
01:22:37,206 --> 01:22:38,571
and we can't find Miranda anywhere.
1521
01:22:38,674 --> 01:22:39,732
Have you seen her?
1522
01:22:39,842 --> 01:22:41,639
Hang on. Honey, who's Miranda?
1523
01:22:41,744 --> 01:22:44,577
Miranda, honey, is their cousin.
Their cousin.
1524
01:22:44,680 --> 01:22:47,649
You know what? Excuse me
for one second. Come here.
1525
01:22:47,782 --> 01:22:52,276
Sorry, Mom. Yeah, no. I don't know.
Just some guys.
1526
01:22:52,387 --> 01:22:55,823
Guys! Guys! What are you doing?
You're killing me here.
1527
01:22:56,324 --> 01:22:57,848
What is this? What's going on?
1528
01:22:57,959 --> 01:22:59,893
Look, Martin, I know you're upset
about this whole thing
1529
01:22:59,995 --> 01:23:00,984
with Cal, Miranda and me.
1530
01:23:01,096 --> 01:23:04,065
But there'll be a time and a place
we can talk about it, but not now.
1531
01:23:04,164 --> 01:23:06,029
I'm about to tell her.
1532
01:23:06,133 --> 01:23:07,498
Who is that?
1533
01:23:08,035 --> 01:23:09,468
It's my wife!
1534
01:23:11,105 --> 01:23:12,163
Wife?
1535
01:23:12,540 --> 01:23:15,976
Guys, what are you, like, snorting
peyote? Come on, it's me. It's Eddie.
1536
01:23:16,076 --> 01:23:18,636
- But your wife was murdered.
- What?
1537
01:23:19,412 --> 01:23:21,403
Those twins.
1538
01:23:22,048 --> 01:23:26,144
They said that your wife was murdered
by a maniac with an ice pick.
1539
01:23:27,053 --> 01:23:28,281
No, no, no, no, no.
1540
01:23:28,388 --> 01:23:30,219
Look, you guys, all you have to know
1541
01:23:30,323 --> 01:23:32,018
is that from the second
I fell in love with Miranda,
1542
01:23:32,125 --> 01:23:34,059
I have not once cheated on her
with my wife, okay?
1543
01:23:34,159 --> 01:23:35,683
And I'm not saying that
to toot my own horn, it's just...
1544
01:23:35,794 --> 01:23:37,557
- I really haven't...
- You sick little prick!
1545
01:23:37,663 --> 01:23:38,994
- Martin! Martin!
- Come here.
1546
01:23:39,097 --> 01:23:42,032
- No, stop!
- Here, take this.
1547
01:23:44,570 --> 01:23:45,969
Hey, what are you doing?
1548
01:23:46,071 --> 01:23:47,333
Get off me!
1549
01:23:47,439 --> 01:23:50,374
You gotta get yourself
right with God, buddy!
1550
01:23:51,742 --> 01:23:54,040
- He is not worth it!
- Get off me! Get off!
1551
01:23:54,912 --> 01:23:56,573
What is going on?
1552
01:23:57,481 --> 01:23:59,210
Eddie, who was that?
1553
01:23:59,984 --> 01:24:01,611
I have absolutely no idea.
1554
01:24:01,719 --> 01:24:04,153
How's your... How's your...
1555
01:24:04,254 --> 01:24:05,619
What do you mean, you have no idea?
1556
01:24:05,722 --> 01:24:07,781
They called you Eddie.
You knew their cousin!
1557
01:24:07,891 --> 01:24:10,860
No, I know. I mean, I know who
they were, they're the Patagonia guys.
1558
01:24:10,961 --> 01:24:14,362
I just didn't understand
why they were so...
1559
01:24:14,464 --> 01:24:16,659
You know, they get so...
Acting like that.
1560
01:24:16,766 --> 01:24:17,892
Eddie, are you okay?
1561
01:24:18,001 --> 01:24:19,593
No! I'm not okay!
1562
01:24:20,536 --> 01:24:23,130
Look, Lila, we're not okay. It's over!
1563
01:24:24,773 --> 01:24:25,762
No!
1564
01:24:26,275 --> 01:24:28,106
Could you please go away?
1565
01:24:28,210 --> 01:24:30,678
- What?
- We're over!
1566
01:24:30,779 --> 01:24:32,679
- What do you mean?
- Stop!
1567
01:24:32,781 --> 01:24:35,614
- What's over?
- Hang on a sec.
1568
01:24:35,717 --> 01:24:38,777
Here! Here you go. Fifty.
Fifty Americano. Please stop, okay?
1569
01:24:38,920 --> 01:24:41,889
Can you... No! No, stop!
1570
01:24:41,990 --> 01:24:45,653
Will you shut up?
We're trying to have lunch here!
1571
01:24:45,760 --> 01:24:49,252
Would you stop? I'm paying
a lot of money to stay at this hotel!
1572
01:24:49,363 --> 01:24:51,388
I'm on my honeymoon.
We just want to have a nice quiet lunch!
1573
01:24:51,498 --> 01:24:52,760
Eddie, Eddie. It's okay.
They're not bothering me.
1574
01:24:52,866 --> 01:24:53,924
No! It's not okay!
1575
01:24:54,034 --> 01:24:57,026
We're newlyweds! We just wanna have
a quiet time together!
1576
01:24:57,137 --> 01:25:00,470
How can we have any good memories
if you guys keep...
1577
01:25:01,274 --> 01:25:04,175
Eddie, Eddie.
It's okay, I am having good...
1578
01:25:06,112 --> 01:25:07,977
Eddie, please sit down!
1579
01:25:12,718 --> 01:25:16,882
Wow, I was starting to wonder
where all that passion had gone.
1580
01:25:17,657 --> 01:25:21,787
Lila, I'm sorry,
but you and I are finished.
1581
01:25:23,061 --> 01:25:27,088
What are you talking about, Eddie?
What about our Rotterdam plans?
1582
01:25:31,102 --> 01:25:33,070
I'm sorry. I'll be right back.
1583
01:25:33,071 --> 01:25:33,332
I'm sorry. I'll be right back.
1584
01:25:33,570 --> 01:25:36,471
Eddie!
You're acting like a loony bird again!
1585
01:25:38,409 --> 01:25:40,843
- Hey.
- Hey.
1586
01:25:41,712 --> 01:25:44,306
Oh, my God!
What happened to your nose?
1587
01:25:44,782 --> 01:25:47,114
- Martin stuck a pepper up it.
- What?
1588
01:25:47,217 --> 01:25:49,185
Look, there's been
a massive misunderstanding.
1589
01:25:49,285 --> 01:25:50,877
I don't mean to be rude, Eddie,
but can this wait?
1590
01:25:50,987 --> 01:25:51,976
No!
1591
01:25:52,088 --> 01:25:54,022
I'm gonna be late
for Beryl and Boo's ceremony.
1592
01:25:54,123 --> 01:25:56,489
Look, my wife was never murdered.
1593
01:25:56,859 --> 01:25:58,884
- What?
- Yeah, my wife, she never died.
1594
01:25:58,995 --> 01:26:02,658
In fact, I never actually said that,
it was just those stupid twins, they...
1595
01:26:02,765 --> 01:26:05,427
What are you saying?
You're not a widower?
1596
01:26:05,534 --> 01:26:07,468
- No...
- No, he's married!
1597
01:26:08,503 --> 01:26:10,232
Martin just told me.
1598
01:26:10,605 --> 01:26:13,574
He's been staying here with his wife
all week!
1599
01:26:14,843 --> 01:26:16,834
What is she talking about?
1600
01:26:17,779 --> 01:26:21,374
It's true, I'm...
But it's over, Miranda. I mean, it's...
1601
01:26:21,482 --> 01:26:22,471
Get away from me.
1602
01:26:22,616 --> 01:26:24,106
Miranda, it's okay.
Will you listen to me, please?
1603
01:26:24,218 --> 01:26:25,947
Get away from me. Leave me alone!
1604
01:26:26,053 --> 01:26:27,543
Miranda!
1605
01:26:29,623 --> 01:26:31,056
Hang on!
1606
01:26:34,260 --> 01:26:35,386
Eddie!
1607
01:26:43,737 --> 01:26:44,795
Shit!
1608
01:26:55,748 --> 01:26:58,342
- Eddie!
- I was trying to tell you before.
1609
01:26:58,450 --> 01:27:01,078
- Leave me alone! Get away from me!
- Miranda!
1610
01:27:01,186 --> 01:27:03,746
Eddie! What the hell is going on?
1611
01:27:03,856 --> 01:27:06,882
Lila, I was trying to tell you before,
and I...
1612
01:27:07,458 --> 01:27:10,120
Did I cut my back on the rocks?
1613
01:27:11,295 --> 01:27:12,785
Oh, my God!
1614
01:27:13,131 --> 01:27:14,598
Man-o'-war!
1615
01:27:14,699 --> 01:27:17,395
Get it off! Get it off!
1616
01:27:30,914 --> 01:27:32,006
Come on, do something.
1617
01:27:32,115 --> 01:27:33,139
I'm not doing anything.
This is what he gets.
1618
01:27:37,686 --> 01:27:41,053
- It's okay! I know what to do.
- What are you doing?
1619
01:27:44,426 --> 01:27:47,259
Get off of me! No! No!
1620
01:27:48,264 --> 01:27:49,288
Oh, my gosh!
1621
01:27:49,397 --> 01:27:50,659
I know what I'm doing!
1622
01:27:50,765 --> 01:27:52,995
- No!
- Eddie!
1623
01:27:54,202 --> 01:27:57,000
- Burning! Burning!
- It's okay!
1624
01:27:57,105 --> 01:27:59,232
It's okay. It's okay.
1625
01:28:00,608 --> 01:28:02,906
I know, honey. Isn't that nice?
1626
01:28:04,678 --> 01:28:05,736
Sick!
1627
01:28:08,549 --> 01:28:11,211
Oh, no! It's okay, I'm his wife.
1628
01:28:11,318 --> 01:28:14,344
- We're on our honeymoon!
- Honeymoon?
1629
01:28:14,454 --> 01:28:17,116
Miranda, it's not what it seems.
1630
01:28:18,792 --> 01:28:21,090
No. Wait, Miranda!
1631
01:28:22,361 --> 01:28:23,919
Miranda!
1632
01:28:33,206 --> 01:28:36,073
I think it was
a confluence of events, you know?
1633
01:28:36,174 --> 01:28:40,270
With my dad busting my balls
about my dating life,
1634
01:28:41,580 --> 01:28:42,945
then going to Jodi's wedding.
1635
01:28:43,048 --> 01:28:47,280
Why did I even go to Jodi's wedding,
you know? Just to torture myself?
1636
01:28:47,786 --> 01:28:51,916
Mac's all up in my grill about being
married. It's just...
1637
01:28:52,957 --> 01:28:54,982
I don't know, I jumped,
you know, I jumped.
1638
01:28:55,092 --> 01:28:58,994
I felt the heat and I jumped, and it was
like two days, three days early.
1639
01:28:59,096 --> 01:29:00,825
And I'll tell you something.
1640
01:29:00,931 --> 01:29:05,595
I should've just gone with my dad to
Vegas and double-teamed those girls.
1641
01:29:05,702 --> 01:29:07,863
That would've been
the decent thing to do.
1642
01:29:07,971 --> 01:29:09,336
Señor Eddie!
1643
01:29:09,839 --> 01:29:16,108
Hey, there he is! Señor Tito!
My Tito-Bandito!
1644
01:29:16,212 --> 01:29:18,077
Eddie, what are you doing?
1645
01:29:18,181 --> 01:29:21,947
I'm just hanging with my brother,
my brother Manuel.
1646
01:29:22,050 --> 01:29:24,018
Eddie, people are looking for you.
1647
01:29:24,119 --> 01:29:27,054
Your father keeps calling, and then Mac
is trying to track you down.
1648
01:29:27,155 --> 01:29:31,148
And what am I supposed to tell
the American girl, the... Miranda?
1649
01:29:31,260 --> 01:29:33,285
- What do I tell her?
- Miranda?
1650
01:29:33,395 --> 01:29:34,623
- Miranda?
- Yes!
1651
01:29:34,729 --> 01:29:37,960
- What?
- Her family flew home, but she didn't.
1652
01:29:38,065 --> 01:29:41,034
And she has been everywhere
searching for you.
1653
01:29:41,335 --> 01:29:42,529
She has?
1654
01:29:44,472 --> 01:29:46,599
Screw off! I'm joking, man!
1655
01:29:47,308 --> 01:29:49,708
That chick ran for the hills, huh?
1656
01:29:51,578 --> 01:29:54,672
You should've seen your face!
You were so happy!
1657
01:29:54,781 --> 01:29:56,976
For a moment, you were like...
1658
01:29:58,251 --> 01:30:00,583
I can't believe I got you again!
1659
01:30:04,124 --> 01:30:05,591
The funny man!
1660
01:30:07,259 --> 01:30:09,693
That's cool man, that's cool.
Don't worry about me.
1661
01:30:09,795 --> 01:30:12,093
Seriously, are you here for a reason?
1662
01:30:12,197 --> 01:30:13,323
Huh? What's the deal?
1663
01:30:13,432 --> 01:30:16,333
What, you want me to... You want
to tell me to, like, go back and get Lila?
1664
01:30:16,435 --> 01:30:18,903
Or go back to the States?
It's not gonna happen!
1665
01:30:19,004 --> 01:30:23,839
Look at you. Listen to you.
You are sounding loco!
1666
01:30:23,942 --> 01:30:25,534
- Oh, I'm loco?
- Yes.
1667
01:30:25,643 --> 01:30:26,837
No, you're loco!
1668
01:30:26,945 --> 01:30:30,472
Lila burned my wallet, she burned
my clothes, she burned my passport.
1669
01:30:30,581 --> 01:30:32,412
Okay? Even if I wanted
to go back, I couldn't!
1670
01:30:32,517 --> 01:30:35,918
I can't get papers
for like a month or something.
1671
01:30:36,920 --> 01:30:40,754
But you know what? I don't need papers
to hang with this guy,
1672
01:30:40,857 --> 01:30:42,290
'cause he doesn't want papers.
1673
01:30:42,392 --> 01:30:44,883
He just wants friendship, don't you?
1674
01:30:45,996 --> 01:30:47,327
And we're gonna stay here,
1675
01:30:47,431 --> 01:30:49,365
we're gonna keep talking it out
and talking it out,
1676
01:30:49,466 --> 01:30:51,866
until it feels right up in my head.
Right, Manny?
1677
01:30:51,968 --> 01:30:54,528
Even if it takes forever. Am I right?
1678
01:30:55,504 --> 01:30:57,802
Listen, you little gringo pussy,
1679
01:30:57,907 --> 01:31:03,470
you've been ear-fucking me for
two straight weeks about all this shit!
1680
01:31:03,579 --> 01:31:05,547
You wanna fix what you did?
1681
01:31:05,647 --> 01:31:07,706
Stop talking about it, just do it!
1682
01:31:07,816 --> 01:31:10,216
Get off your ass and do it!
1683
01:31:14,155 --> 01:31:16,146
Manuel is right, Señor Eddie.
1684
01:31:16,257 --> 01:31:20,250
You are going to have to go back and
fix this yourself, okay? Now, come on.
1685
01:31:20,361 --> 01:31:21,521
- Get up!
- Can't.
1686
01:31:21,628 --> 01:31:24,028
You can do it, come on! Listen.
1687
01:31:24,131 --> 01:31:28,761
I have connections. You know, people
that can sneak you back into California.
1688
01:31:30,204 --> 01:31:31,330
You're not joking?
1689
01:31:31,438 --> 01:31:33,702
No, I promise. I'm not kidding this time.
1690
01:31:33,807 --> 01:31:36,241
- Okay, good. Good, good.
- Yes!
1691
01:31:36,342 --> 01:31:39,937
But I don't wanna go to California.
I wanna go to Mississippi.
1692
01:31:49,756 --> 01:31:51,451
It's cool! It's cool, guys!
1693
01:31:51,556 --> 01:31:54,150
I'm an American. I just lost my passport.
1694
01:32:22,852 --> 01:32:24,080
America!
1695
01:32:37,866 --> 01:32:39,026
Stop right there!
1696
01:32:39,568 --> 01:32:40,626
I'm an American!
1697
01:33:23,676 --> 01:33:26,076
- Come on, grab his hand!
- You can do it!
1698
01:33:30,015 --> 01:33:31,915
Come on, buddy!
1699
01:33:33,819 --> 01:33:35,582
Come on! Grab it!
1700
01:34:01,411 --> 01:34:05,279
I'm going on the record here, Eddie.
I think this is a bad, bad idea.
1701
01:34:10,753 --> 01:34:14,382
Look, Pop, I appreciate your coming
down here and helping me out.
1702
01:34:14,490 --> 01:34:17,220
This is just something
that I have to do, okay?
1703
01:34:17,326 --> 01:34:19,453
I still don't understand
what happened with you and Lila.
1704
01:34:19,562 --> 01:34:21,530
She was such a sweet kid.
1705
01:34:22,397 --> 01:34:25,366
Dad, I love Miranda, okay?
1706
01:34:26,101 --> 01:34:27,966
I've never been more sure
of anything in my life.
1707
01:34:28,069 --> 01:34:30,435
All right, Eddie. Just be careful, okay?
1708
01:34:30,539 --> 01:34:34,066
Remember, this is the Bible Belt.
These people have guns.
1709
01:34:34,743 --> 01:34:37,234
This is it, right here! Stop! Stop!
1710
01:34:43,050 --> 01:34:46,076
Don't you think we should clean you up
or give you a shave or something?
1711
01:34:46,187 --> 01:34:47,950
No. Look. I've been working on
this speech for over a month.
1712
01:34:48,055 --> 01:34:49,886
I just want to go in and do it.
1713
01:34:49,990 --> 01:34:51,480
Knock 'em dead!
1714
01:35:07,039 --> 01:35:11,305
Seven pitches in a row over 90 miles
an hour? That boy hums that ball!
1715
01:35:12,711 --> 01:35:15,737
Byoo! Look what the cat dragged in!
1716
01:35:18,450 --> 01:35:21,476
I know, don't ask. Is Miranda around?
1717
01:35:22,186 --> 01:35:25,178
- You must be out of your mind.
- Well, no, I'm not.
1718
01:35:25,289 --> 01:35:29,282
Oh, my God! Why am I not surprised
that this moron's standing out here?
1719
01:35:29,393 --> 01:35:30,860
It's all right.
Look, I don't want any trouble, Martin.
1720
01:35:30,962 --> 01:35:33,260
Oh, you don't want any trouble?
You're about to get some trouble, boy!
1721
01:35:33,364 --> 01:35:35,355
You better get off my stoop!
You piece of shit!
1722
01:35:35,466 --> 01:35:37,696
That is a refreshingly honest response.
1723
01:35:37,801 --> 01:35:41,100
And let me just drop some of that
back on you,
1724
01:35:41,204 --> 01:35:45,072
and tell you I made
a huge mistake, okay? Guilty. Boom.
1725
01:35:45,175 --> 01:35:47,575
I stepped in it, big-time.
1726
01:35:47,677 --> 01:35:48,939
And I admit it, okay?
1727
01:35:49,045 --> 01:35:51,138
I jumped into a marriage
way too quickly.
1728
01:35:51,248 --> 01:35:53,307
I only knew my wife for a couple months
before we got married, okay?
1729
01:35:53,415 --> 01:35:55,747
So that's the back story.
1730
01:35:55,851 --> 01:36:00,049
And how long did you know Miranda
before you decided she was the one?
1731
01:36:01,557 --> 01:36:03,149
Two days, and I hear that.
1732
01:36:03,259 --> 01:36:04,988
Let me just say to you,
"That's my point."
1733
01:36:05,094 --> 01:36:07,255
I'm not gonna make
the same mistake again, okay?
1734
01:36:07,362 --> 01:36:10,024
You can rest assured,
I have got my act together.
1735
01:36:10,131 --> 01:36:11,792
And once my annulment is finalized,
1736
01:36:11,899 --> 01:36:14,231
I really believe that Miranda
and I should just go slow.
1737
01:36:14,335 --> 01:36:16,565
I mean, you know, date for a while.
1738
01:36:16,671 --> 01:36:19,105
Move in together for like a year, at least.
1739
01:36:19,207 --> 01:36:23,075
See what it feels like,
then go from there, okay? No promises.
1740
01:36:23,176 --> 01:36:25,440
- Really?
- I wanna do everything right this time.
1741
01:36:25,545 --> 01:36:29,242
There ain't gonna be a "this time,"
Eddie. The popcorn has popped.
1742
01:36:29,349 --> 01:36:32,341
Miranda and Cal got married
two weeks ago Saturday.
1743
01:36:32,452 --> 01:36:33,510
What?
1744
01:36:33,887 --> 01:36:36,287
What're you talking about?
1745
01:36:36,390 --> 01:36:38,858
She has finally come to her senses.
1746
01:36:39,258 --> 01:36:40,225
I don't believe you.
1747
01:36:40,326 --> 01:36:41,657
- Oh, you better believe it.
- Eddie...
1748
01:36:41,761 --> 01:36:44,025
- I don't believe you.
- Eddie...
1749
01:36:44,130 --> 01:36:45,427
It's true.
1750
01:36:47,066 --> 01:36:48,658
They got married?
1751
01:36:52,604 --> 01:36:55,198
Well, can I...
At least, can I talk to her in person...
1752
01:36:55,307 --> 01:36:57,036
- No, you cannot, all right?
- Martin! Martin! Calm down!
1753
01:36:57,142 --> 01:36:58,734
You will stay the hell away
from Miranda, okay?
1754
01:36:58,843 --> 01:37:00,333
I'm gonna put my fist through your face!
1755
01:37:00,445 --> 01:37:02,379
I'll put both of my fists
through your face!
1756
01:37:02,480 --> 01:37:05,415
I'm calm! I'm calm! I'm being calm.
You're holding me too tight!
1757
01:37:05,517 --> 01:37:07,314
Stop it. Eddie...
1758
01:37:07,418 --> 01:37:08,476
- Take it easy, boy.
- I'm fine.
1759
01:37:08,585 --> 01:37:12,749
Now, look, we ask you to respect
Miranda and Cal's privacy.
1760
01:37:13,791 --> 01:37:16,351
Give those kids a chance to be happy.
1761
01:37:17,094 --> 01:37:20,621
If you care about Miranda,
that's what you'll do.
1762
01:37:25,468 --> 01:37:26,867
Okay, Beryl.
1763
01:37:29,806 --> 01:37:30,966
I will.
1764
01:37:43,218 --> 01:37:44,742
Miranda!
1765
01:37:51,860 --> 01:37:54,192
It's okay!
1766
01:37:54,295 --> 01:37:56,263
It's me. It's just Eddie.
1767
01:37:57,264 --> 01:37:58,731
Are you crazy?
1768
01:37:59,867 --> 01:38:01,357
This is crazy!
1769
01:38:02,436 --> 01:38:03,425
Hi!
1770
01:38:03,537 --> 01:38:06,472
- What the hell are you doing here?
- It's okay, it's okay.
1771
01:38:06,574 --> 01:38:09,236
Beryl told me you got married.
I just wanted to talk to you.
1772
01:38:09,342 --> 01:38:11,742
This is my husband sleeping
right next to me. Do you see that?
1773
01:38:11,845 --> 01:38:12,812
Yes, I do.
1774
01:38:12,912 --> 01:38:14,743
This is not the time or the place
to do this!
1775
01:38:14,848 --> 01:38:17,942
Please, please. Look, I'll keep it quiet.
I'll be cool. Just hear me out.
1776
01:38:18,051 --> 01:38:21,111
No! I am not going to hear you out!
This is insane!
1777
01:38:21,221 --> 01:38:24,019
I'm begging you! You don't know
what I've been through to get here.
1778
01:38:24,123 --> 01:38:26,091
Please, just hear me out.
1779
01:38:27,993 --> 01:38:29,858
You got one minute. Go.
1780
01:38:30,162 --> 01:38:33,495
Okay, look. First of all, I'm so sorry
I didn't tell you I was married.
1781
01:38:33,599 --> 01:38:37,228
See, I tried to tell you a couple of times,
but we kept on getting interrupted.
1782
01:38:37,336 --> 01:38:39,827
And then there was this sort of
classic misunderstanding
1783
01:38:39,937 --> 01:38:41,928
about my wife being murdered.
1784
01:38:42,039 --> 01:38:43,199
Anyway, the point is...
1785
01:38:43,307 --> 01:38:45,901
No! The point is,
whether you tried to tell me or not,
1786
01:38:46,010 --> 01:38:48,604
you tried to pick me up
on your honeymoon!
1787
01:38:48,713 --> 01:38:49,907
Do you know how creepy that is?
1788
01:38:50,014 --> 01:38:53,643
Yes, I do. I do. It's repulsive,
and I owe you a massive apology.
1789
01:38:53,750 --> 01:38:56,651
But, on the other hand,
I'm glad it happened.
1790
01:39:10,699 --> 01:39:14,658
Look, it's not my fault the Lord works
in mysterious ways.
1791
01:39:14,770 --> 01:39:18,365
And so, yeah, I screwed up, okay?
I got married a week too early.
1792
01:39:18,474 --> 01:39:20,601
But you know what?
I wouldn't change any of it.
1793
01:39:20,709 --> 01:39:22,142
I don't regret marrying Lila
1794
01:39:22,244 --> 01:39:24,075
because if I hadn't,
then I wouldn't have gone to Cabo,
1795
01:39:24,179 --> 01:39:28,115
and I wouldn't have met you, and
I wouldn't have fallen in love with you,
1796
01:39:28,216 --> 01:39:30,707
and I will never apologize for that.
1797
01:39:31,586 --> 01:39:32,814
Not ever.
1798
01:39:34,956 --> 01:39:36,048
God damn it, Eddie.
1799
01:39:36,157 --> 01:39:37,385
I know.
1800
01:39:41,995 --> 01:39:43,223
Cal, it's fine.
1801
01:39:43,363 --> 01:39:45,797
Martin! Martin, put the bat down.
1802
01:39:45,899 --> 01:39:48,993
Just shush, all right?
This ain't about you, it's about him!
1803
01:39:49,102 --> 01:39:50,160
What?
1804
01:39:51,271 --> 01:39:52,602
Who the hell is that guy?
1805
01:39:52,706 --> 01:39:55,732
This the psychopath who's trying
to steal your woman, man!
1806
01:39:55,842 --> 01:39:58,436
I knew you wouldn't stay away from her,
you son of a bitch!
1807
01:39:58,544 --> 01:40:01,570
I can't help it.
The heart wants what it wants.
1808
01:40:01,981 --> 01:40:03,573
Eddie, you've gotta get out of here!
1809
01:40:03,683 --> 01:40:05,878
Not until you give me an answer.
1810
01:40:05,985 --> 01:40:07,885
No! There ain't gonna be no answer!
1811
01:40:08,019 --> 01:40:11,420
Damn you, Martin!
Damn, that hurts! Shit!
1812
01:40:11,523 --> 01:40:12,956
You... Martin, that hurts!
1813
01:40:13,058 --> 01:40:16,687
You wanna throw down, tough guy?
I will mess your shit up! Come on.
1814
01:40:16,795 --> 01:40:19,127
I don't want any trouble here.
Why don't you just back up, all right?
1815
01:40:19,231 --> 01:40:21,062
Well, trouble's found you, pussydick!
1816
01:40:21,166 --> 01:40:22,258
Dad! It's okay.
1817
01:40:22,367 --> 01:40:26,827
Look, Miranda, just tell me,
do you feel the same way, or not?
1818
01:40:29,240 --> 01:40:31,640
We can figure everything else out.
1819
01:40:35,980 --> 01:40:38,744
No, I don't, Eddie.
1820
01:40:40,083 --> 01:40:43,416
We had a connection in Mexico,
and that's all it was.
1821
01:40:45,522 --> 01:40:50,516
I love Cal, and everything that happened
in Cabo made me realize that.
1822
01:40:52,328 --> 01:40:53,625
I'm sorry.
1823
01:40:54,463 --> 01:40:56,021
That's the deal.
1824
01:40:57,132 --> 01:41:00,533
Come on, kid, let's get out of here.
Come on, come on.
1825
01:41:02,170 --> 01:41:04,900
Come on.
Bitches be crazy, you know that.
1826
01:41:06,775 --> 01:41:08,003
Come on.
1827
01:41:10,144 --> 01:41:12,112
Yeah, take care, Grandpa.
1828
01:41:12,513 --> 01:41:14,174
Come on, let's go.
1829
01:41:14,882 --> 01:41:15,940
Wow.
1830
01:41:20,855 --> 01:41:22,083
Hey, Dad?
1831
01:41:22,857 --> 01:41:24,222
Take a look.
1832
01:41:24,357 --> 01:41:27,417
If she's watching,
it means I still have a shot.
1833
01:41:30,263 --> 01:41:32,356
Your goose is cooked, Eddie.
1834
01:41:55,820 --> 01:41:58,812
Come on, man. You can't leave me now.
1835
01:41:58,923 --> 01:42:01,289
I finally straightened Tammy out.
1836
01:42:01,659 --> 01:42:03,024
What does that mean?
1837
01:42:03,127 --> 01:42:05,595
It means I stood up to her.
I told her that from now on,
1838
01:42:05,697 --> 01:42:08,131
Thursday through Sunday,
it's gonna be bros before hos.
1839
01:42:08,232 --> 01:42:10,462
I said, "I's needs my's alone time."
1840
01:42:10,567 --> 01:42:13,866
Really? You said that? Just like that?
Putting your hand up, like...
1841
01:42:13,971 --> 01:42:15,063
Like, half that, yeah.
1842
01:42:15,172 --> 01:42:16,935
And she bought that?
1843
01:42:21,178 --> 01:42:23,874
Honey, I'm conversing
with Edward right now.
1844
01:42:23,980 --> 01:42:25,675
I'll speak to you later.
1845
01:42:25,781 --> 01:42:26,975
Goodbye.
1846
01:42:28,184 --> 01:42:31,017
- Wow. Impressive.
- Yeah, see?
1847
01:42:31,120 --> 01:42:33,350
That's how it's gonna be from now on.
Please don't go.
1848
01:42:33,456 --> 01:42:34,650
Mac, we've been through this before.
1849
01:42:34,757 --> 01:42:36,622
There's no reason for me
to be here, okay?
1850
01:42:36,726 --> 01:42:40,992
Lila got the store in the divorce.
My dad's off in Vegas all the time.
1851
01:42:41,096 --> 01:42:43,530
I haven't really met anybody
in the last six months.
1852
01:42:43,632 --> 01:42:45,600
That's because you're still
hung up on that Miranda chick.
1853
01:42:45,700 --> 01:42:48,760
No, I'm not! I'm over her. I moved on.
1854
01:42:48,870 --> 01:42:50,633
In fact, I'm starting to think
there's a lot of good
1855
01:42:50,739 --> 01:42:51,831
that came out of that experience.
1856
01:42:51,940 --> 01:42:52,907
- Oh, really?
- Yeah!
1857
01:42:53,008 --> 01:42:56,171
Like, you got to sit around
for six months in your panties,
1858
01:42:56,276 --> 01:42:58,608
growing that funky beard.
That was awesome.
1859
01:42:58,712 --> 01:43:00,407
Yeah, which is why I need to change.
1860
01:43:00,514 --> 01:43:02,573
I can't just sit around
waiting for life to happen to me.
1861
01:43:02,683 --> 01:43:04,014
I need to follow my instincts,
1862
01:43:04,118 --> 01:43:07,349
and right now my instincts
are telling me that I...
1863
01:43:08,489 --> 01:43:11,481
Mac, get your ass
in the fucking car right now!
1864
01:43:11,591 --> 01:43:13,559
You got it, sweetie. Hi.
1865
01:43:13,660 --> 01:43:15,355
Eddie! Think about what I said.
1866
01:43:15,461 --> 01:43:17,053
Bros before hos!
1867
01:43:17,664 --> 01:43:19,894
How you doing, Eddie? You sad?
1868
01:43:20,867 --> 01:43:22,198
- No.
- Good.
1869
01:43:22,835 --> 01:43:24,166
Good. Okay.
1870
01:43:25,504 --> 01:43:27,131
Okay. Bye, Lester.
1871
01:43:40,718 --> 01:43:46,156
Now, for another $150,
I can give you the Uncle Tito special.
1872
01:43:46,257 --> 01:43:48,987
A guided tour to the island's best reef!
1873
01:43:49,093 --> 01:43:51,994
- $150?
- That's a little steep, isn't it?
1874
01:43:52,096 --> 01:43:54,326
Or you can find it yourself.
You guys are pretty big.
1875
01:43:54,431 --> 01:43:57,264
I don't think you're gonna have
a problem fending off the sharks.
1876
01:43:57,367 --> 01:44:00,530
Tito! Don't scare these people.
There's no sharks.
1877
01:44:00,637 --> 01:44:03,071
There's sand sharks,
but they don't have any teeth.
1878
01:44:03,173 --> 01:44:06,904
You see that attitude right there?
You have no business sense.
1879
01:44:07,010 --> 01:44:08,443
Hey, Manuelito! Do me a favor.
1880
01:44:08,545 --> 01:44:11,412
Help Tito give these folks
some snorkel gear, all right?
1881
01:44:11,513 --> 01:44:13,003
Throw in the fins for free.
1882
01:44:13,115 --> 01:44:15,982
- Oh, hey. Thanks, Eddie.
- Thanks again, Eddie.
1883
01:44:19,521 --> 01:44:21,489
How much for a skimboard?
1884
01:44:28,996 --> 01:44:30,861
Hey! Hi!
1885
01:44:31,666 --> 01:44:32,655
Hi.
1886
01:44:34,135 --> 01:44:36,069
What are you doing here?
1887
01:44:37,305 --> 01:44:40,604
Down here with the family.
It's that time of year again.
1888
01:44:40,707 --> 01:44:44,837
Beryl and Boo are renewing their vows
on the beach this afternoon, so...
1889
01:44:44,945 --> 01:44:45,969
Wow!
1890
01:44:46,213 --> 01:44:48,579
And, to be honest,
I had heard a rumor that
1891
01:44:48,682 --> 01:44:50,775
you'd opened a business down here.
1892
01:44:50,884 --> 01:44:53,079
Oh, yeah? How'd you hear that?
1893
01:44:54,087 --> 01:44:56,783
I got the e-vite for your grand opening.
1894
01:44:57,256 --> 01:45:02,216
Oh, right.
Yeah, I had a group e-mail list that I...
1895
01:45:03,996 --> 01:45:05,987
I can't believe you really moved here.
1896
01:45:06,098 --> 01:45:07,292
Yeah, I did it.
1897
01:45:07,399 --> 01:45:11,096
I became one of those
perma-vacationers,
1898
01:45:11,202 --> 01:45:12,533
like we talked about.
1899
01:45:12,637 --> 01:45:14,571
- Yeah, I remember.
- Yeah.
1900
01:45:14,706 --> 01:45:16,037
Suits you.
1901
01:45:18,476 --> 01:45:20,171
You look beautiful.
1902
01:45:21,579 --> 01:45:22,739
Thanks.
1903
01:45:23,815 --> 01:45:26,784
So, you down here with Cal
and the crew and...
1904
01:45:29,253 --> 01:45:30,948
Cal and I split up.
1905
01:45:32,322 --> 01:45:33,584
Split up.
1906
01:45:34,892 --> 01:45:39,295
He's a great guy, but we probably
should've never gotten married.
1907
01:45:41,097 --> 01:45:42,394
I'm sorry.
1908
01:45:44,200 --> 01:45:47,863
I guess now I know what you
went through on your honeymoon.
1909
01:45:48,971 --> 01:45:51,269
It's not easy being married when
1910
01:45:52,775 --> 01:45:55,175
you're in love with someone else.
1911
01:45:58,046 --> 01:46:01,345
He's in the car,
and I am dying for you to meet him!
1912
01:46:02,717 --> 01:46:03,877
He's...
1913
01:46:04,653 --> 01:46:06,587
Really? He's in the car?
1914
01:46:07,189 --> 01:46:09,623
No! No.
1915
01:46:14,295 --> 01:46:15,455
Funny.
1916
01:46:16,063 --> 01:46:17,963
Got me. That was... That's good.
1917
01:46:18,065 --> 01:46:19,054
- Very funny.
- Thank you.
1918
01:46:19,166 --> 01:46:21,930
- So, you are single. You're single?
- I am.
1919
01:46:24,138 --> 01:46:27,574
I'm actually staying at the hotel, if you
1920
01:46:28,541 --> 01:46:30,873
wanna grab a drink or something.
1921
01:46:32,912 --> 01:46:34,539
I would love that.
1922
01:46:35,648 --> 01:46:38,310
How about tonight, 7:00?
1923
01:46:39,185 --> 01:46:41,983
7:00, I could do that. Yeah.
I could do that.
1924
01:46:42,087 --> 01:46:43,145
- Cool.
- Great.
1925
01:46:43,255 --> 01:46:44,483
Miranda!
1926
01:46:45,224 --> 01:46:47,658
Come on, we're gonna miss
the ceremony!
1927
01:46:47,759 --> 01:46:50,023
- I'm coming!
- Hey, Martin!
1928
01:46:50,128 --> 01:46:51,618
Hello, asshole!
1929
01:46:52,297 --> 01:46:54,128
Great to see you, too!
1930
01:46:57,301 --> 01:46:58,666
So, I'll see you tonight.
1931
01:46:58,769 --> 01:47:00,828
Yeah, I'll see you tonight.
1932
01:47:06,310 --> 01:47:07,436
Eddie?
1933
01:47:08,746 --> 01:47:09,974
Who was that?
1934
01:47:10,080 --> 01:47:14,847
Oh, hey! Yeah, it's unbelievable.
That was Gretchen Construbias.
1935
01:47:14,951 --> 01:47:15,940
Who?
1936
01:47:16,052 --> 01:47:18,486
Gretchen Construbias,
the CEO of Da Huey?
1937
01:47:18,588 --> 01:47:22,251
Da Huey Water Wear Sports.
They're, like, my biggest supplier. Yeah.
1938
01:47:22,359 --> 01:47:23,792
Yeah, anyway, she's in town
for one night.
1939
01:47:23,894 --> 01:47:27,261
She wants to get together and have
drinks at 7:00 to discuss credit terms.
1940
01:47:27,363 --> 01:47:28,830
- Tonight?
- Yeah.
1941
01:47:28,931 --> 01:47:31,195
Oh, but, honey, it's our first anniversary.
1942
01:47:31,300 --> 01:47:34,736
I know, I know.
But, Consuela, I'll be back by 9:00, so...
1943
01:47:34,837 --> 01:47:37,465
- Oh, okay. So we have a late dinner?
- Okay.
1944
01:47:37,573 --> 01:47:39,438
Yes, perfect.
Late dinner, and that'll be good,
1945
01:47:39,541 --> 01:47:42,271
because there's some stuff
that I think we should discuss.
1946
01:47:42,377 --> 01:47:44,470
Oh. Good stuff or bad stuff?
1947
01:47:44,946 --> 01:47:48,404
Well, I think at first you might flinch,
1948
01:47:48,516 --> 01:47:50,882
but in the long run, great stuff.
1949
01:47:54,289 --> 01:47:55,916
I love you, Eddie.
1950
01:47:56,823 --> 01:47:58,984
Love, love, love, love, love.
1951
01:48:03,030 --> 01:48:04,088
Fuck me.
1952
01:50:56,257 --> 01:50:58,691
Cock me! Cock me!
1953
01:51:01,663 --> 01:51:03,597
Yes, yes!
1954
01:51:03,698 --> 01:51:05,461
Finally!
1955
01:51:05,900 --> 01:51:07,458
Yes, you're doing it!