1
00:00:28,068 --> 00:00:31,231
Nice. Sorry, good catch.
2
00:00:31,438 --> 00:00:34,464
Boys, lunch is ready.
3
00:00:35,709 --> 00:00:37,472
Here we go.
4
00:00:45,019 --> 00:00:49,956
Ain't no doubt about it, lady,
you got a shitload of rats down there.
5
00:00:52,926 --> 00:00:55,861
Damn, is it 3:00?
I gotta get out of here.
6
00:00:56,063 --> 00:00:58,725
But wait,
what about my basement?
7
00:00:58,932 --> 00:01:01,833
Well, just call and make a follow-up
appointment. It's no problem.
8
00:01:02,036 --> 00:01:03,594
But...
9
00:01:43,277 --> 00:01:45,211
Bring it in, here you go.
10
00:02:22,616 --> 00:02:23,776
Got one of those for me?
11
00:02:23,984 --> 00:02:26,248
Nice try, you little creep.
12
00:02:37,664 --> 00:02:39,325
Mr. Buttermaker.
13
00:02:39,533 --> 00:02:42,730
Mr. Buttermaker. You're late.
14
00:02:45,639 --> 00:02:47,504
I got held up, sorry about that.
15
00:02:47,908 --> 00:02:50,240
Jesus! Are you drinking?
16
00:02:50,978 --> 00:02:54,675
Hell, no. That's nonalcoholic.
I'm driving, you know.
17
00:02:54,882 --> 00:02:56,577
I'm so sorry.
18
00:02:56,783 --> 00:02:59,616
You hear that, Toby?
Drinking and driving don't mix.
19
00:02:59,820 --> 00:03:01,549
That's right.
Stay away from crack too.
20
00:03:01,755 --> 00:03:03,552
One hit of that,
and you'll wake up in prison
21
00:03:03,757 --> 00:03:05,190
married to some guy
named Big Blue,
22
00:03:05,392 --> 00:03:07,952
and he's branding his initials in
your ass with a hot coat hanger.
23
00:03:08,162 --> 00:03:09,220
I knew a guy.
24
00:03:10,297 --> 00:03:13,232
Yes, crack is bad too.
25
00:03:13,433 --> 00:03:15,162
Yeah, I know.
26
00:03:15,369 --> 00:03:18,497
But we are really excited
to have you do this,
27
00:03:18,705 --> 00:03:21,640
and Toby is really excited to play,
aren't you, honey?
28
00:03:21,842 --> 00:03:25,300
Between his trumpet lessons,
photo club, Boy Scouts and swimming,
29
00:03:25,512 --> 00:03:27,275
this is his favorite, isn't it, honey?
30
00:03:27,481 --> 00:03:31,212
Can you believe they tried to
keep these kids out of the league?
31
00:03:31,418 --> 00:03:36,048
All kids should be able to play baseball,
no matter what their skills.
32
00:03:36,256 --> 00:03:38,121
Well, I think they heard me
loud and clear.
33
00:03:38,325 --> 00:03:40,486
All that aside,
forget I filed the injunction.
34
00:03:40,694 --> 00:03:41,991
Just go out there and have fun.
35
00:03:42,196 --> 00:03:45,654
Don't let the legalese crimp
your enthusiasm in any way.
36
00:03:46,066 --> 00:03:48,057
Yeah, I got enthusiasm
flying out my ass.
37
00:03:49,836 --> 00:03:51,827
Got the check?
38
00:03:54,241 --> 00:03:57,677
It's a shame none of the fathers
could be here.
39
00:04:00,514 --> 00:04:02,141
Is that thing glued to your fingers?
40
00:04:04,284 --> 00:04:06,844
I almost forgot.
41
00:04:07,387 --> 00:04:10,049
I think it's really important,
what we're doing for the kids.
42
00:04:10,257 --> 00:04:12,555
I feel really good about it, don't you?
43
00:04:12,793 --> 00:04:13,782
Yeah.
44
00:04:19,032 --> 00:04:21,694
Toby, have fun.
45
00:04:27,674 --> 00:04:29,232
- Mr. Buttermaker?
- Yeah.
46
00:04:29,443 --> 00:04:32,378
Is it true you were on the Mariners?
47
00:04:32,579 --> 00:04:34,410
Long ago and far away.
48
00:04:34,615 --> 00:04:36,776
Here, carry that.
49
00:04:38,185 --> 00:04:40,312
Where do we get the equipment?
50
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:41,680
Over there.
51
00:04:41,888 --> 00:04:45,051
Sorry the stuff's so ratty,
but this is a six-team league,
52
00:04:45,259 --> 00:04:50,629
and I'm afraid your boys are getting
the S-H-l-T end of the stick.
53
00:04:51,031 --> 00:04:52,999
Yeah, I can spell "shit," all right.
54
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,464
Does she think I'm 11?
55
00:05:09,383 --> 00:05:11,749
Girl softball players.
56
00:05:11,952 --> 00:05:14,477
I think we all know
what that means, right?
57
00:05:16,056 --> 00:05:18,149
- How you doing? Ray Bullock.
- Hey, Morris Buttermaker...
58
00:05:18,358 --> 00:05:21,225
No, no, no.
No introduction necessary.
59
00:05:21,428 --> 00:05:23,259
Morris "The Blade" Buttermaker.
60
00:05:23,463 --> 00:05:26,023
Carving up batters, one by one.
61
00:05:26,233 --> 00:05:29,396
Sound familiar? I used to watch you
over at Regis Field in high school.
62
00:05:29,603 --> 00:05:33,801
You were amazing. Man, I was
just a kid, but you owned it.
63
00:05:34,007 --> 00:05:36,271
It's great you're doing this, Morris.
Really.
64
00:05:36,476 --> 00:05:39,502
I mean, a pro. Finally,
somebody who gets it, you know?
65
00:05:39,713 --> 00:05:42,147
I gotta tell you,
a lot of these dads, they don't...
66
00:05:42,382 --> 00:05:46,682
They don't understand the dedication
that it takes to run a serious program.
67
00:05:46,887 --> 00:05:50,414
No offense, but that "Ms." Whitewood
friend of yours,
68
00:05:50,624 --> 00:05:52,649
she's not helping things, you know.
69
00:05:53,126 --> 00:05:56,960
I mean, yeah, I get it,
we were a little selective.
70
00:05:57,164 --> 00:05:59,632
Kept some of the lesser players out.
71
00:05:59,833 --> 00:06:03,132
But stopping the season
till we complied?
72
00:06:03,337 --> 00:06:05,066
Come on.
73
00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:08,235
This is a serious program.
74
00:06:09,009 --> 00:06:12,706
Not because I want it that way, either.
It's for the kids, you know?
75
00:06:13,814 --> 00:06:16,442
Listen to me going on and on.
You know what it takes.
76
00:06:16,650 --> 00:06:18,709
Anyway, I think we're gonna
have a lot of fun.
77
00:06:18,919 --> 00:06:20,887
Learn a lot from each other,
you know?
78
00:06:23,890 --> 00:06:26,415
You know, I never thought
I'd hear myself say,
79
00:06:26,626 --> 00:06:28,389
"Look at the ass
on that second baseman."
80
00:06:29,896 --> 00:06:33,059
But look at the ass
on that second baseman.
81
00:06:35,802 --> 00:06:37,167
A lot of brisket butt.
82
00:06:40,273 --> 00:06:42,104
All right.
83
00:06:42,309 --> 00:06:44,504
Well, listen, I'll see you around.
84
00:06:44,711 --> 00:06:49,011
Or stop by, see me sometime.
I'm over at Chevy Valley Subaru.
85
00:06:49,316 --> 00:06:51,477
"Quality you can drive."
86
00:06:57,791 --> 00:07:00,021
All you need is a jar of honey
and a glass coffee table.
87
00:07:00,227 --> 00:07:01,922
It's more fun than a taffy pull,
I promise you.
88
00:07:02,129 --> 00:07:04,427
Buttermaker!
89
00:07:04,731 --> 00:07:08,030
Buttermaker, they're here.
90
00:07:08,235 --> 00:07:10,897
See you later, Buttermaker.
91
00:07:11,571 --> 00:07:12,868
Come on.
92
00:07:13,073 --> 00:07:14,973
Kid, let me explain
something to you, okay?
93
00:07:31,758 --> 00:07:33,817
All right, listen up.
94
00:07:34,060 --> 00:07:36,460
- Tanner Boyle.
- Yeah, here.
95
00:07:39,032 --> 00:07:41,398
- Mike Engelberg.
- Here.
96
00:07:43,303 --> 00:07:44,463
Timmy Lupus?
97
00:07:46,606 --> 00:07:47,698
Timmy Lupus?
98
00:07:49,276 --> 00:07:52,439
Raise your hand, Lupus.
He can't see you sitting behind
99
00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:55,376
- Planet Fat Ass.
- Up your cornhole, Tanner.
100
00:07:58,018 --> 00:08:00,316
Come on, come on.
Play nice.
101
00:08:00,520 --> 00:08:02,078
Hey, hey.
Let go of him.
102
00:08:07,627 --> 00:08:09,458
- Prem Lahiri?
- Present.
103
00:08:09,663 --> 00:08:10,960
But you don't have to use me.
104
00:08:11,164 --> 00:08:13,325
I'm just doing this for
my transcript, for college.
105
00:08:14,134 --> 00:08:15,692
Okay.
106
00:08:17,771 --> 00:08:20,934
Let's see, Toby White...
Oh, Whitewood, I know you're here.
107
00:08:22,442 --> 00:08:24,273
Matthew Hooper?
108
00:08:25,078 --> 00:08:26,875
Matthew Hooper?
109
00:08:27,581 --> 00:08:29,515
Okay, no Hooper.
110
00:08:30,484 --> 00:08:31,451
The hell?
111
00:08:31,651 --> 00:08:35,087
Garo Dara-gaga-braga-dagian.
What the hell is that,
112
00:08:35,288 --> 00:08:37,222
- Aztec or something?
- Armenian.
113
00:08:38,325 --> 00:08:41,419
Same shit. They both built pyramids.
All right.
114
00:08:42,829 --> 00:08:45,559
- Ahmad Abdul Rahim?
- Here.
115
00:08:45,999 --> 00:08:47,125
Yo, bro, what up?
116
00:08:47,334 --> 00:08:49,427
Nothing much. Just ready
to play some baseball.
117
00:08:49,936 --> 00:08:51,267
Twenty-five, huh?
118
00:08:51,471 --> 00:08:53,439
- Ken Griffey, right?
- No.
119
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:55,232
- Satchel Paige?
- No.
120
00:08:55,442 --> 00:08:56,932
No? Willie Mays?
121
00:08:57,143 --> 00:08:59,134
No, it's Mark McGwire.
122
00:08:59,346 --> 00:09:02,008
Mark McGwire? But he's a white.
123
00:09:02,215 --> 00:09:04,877
Yes, he's from Claremont.
He's my favorite player.
124
00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:08,314
Okay.
125
00:09:08,522 --> 00:09:11,423
Agilar. Miguel and Jose.
126
00:09:12,859 --> 00:09:14,053
You guys twins?
127
00:09:22,702 --> 00:09:24,033
You can save it, son.
128
00:09:24,237 --> 00:09:26,398
I don't understand a damn thing
you're saying, okay?
129
00:09:26,773 --> 00:09:28,263
All right.
130
00:09:28,475 --> 00:09:30,443
Got the damn
League of Nations here.
131
00:09:30,644 --> 00:09:33,807
Their dad's our gardener. Mom said
we need them to fill out the team.
132
00:09:34,581 --> 00:09:36,606
Okay, let's hit the field. Come on.
133
00:09:36,816 --> 00:09:40,411
- Jeez. Could this team be any lamer?
- So there's no Hooper?
134
00:09:40,620 --> 00:09:41,848
You don't know
a Matthew Hooper?
135
00:09:42,055 --> 00:09:44,353
- You know where he is?
- Right here.
136
00:09:47,427 --> 00:09:49,088
You gotta be shitting me.
137
00:09:49,296 --> 00:09:52,026
That's right, I'm in a wheelchair.
138
00:09:55,268 --> 00:09:56,895
Okay.
139
00:10:00,540 --> 00:10:01,598
Charge it.
140
00:10:01,808 --> 00:10:04,777
Oh, yeah, that's charging it, all right.
141
00:10:09,449 --> 00:10:10,848
Good hustle.
142
00:10:11,818 --> 00:10:14,787
There you go, bro.
Another good one.
143
00:10:14,988 --> 00:10:16,785
What's the...?
What's the cripple kid's name?
144
00:10:16,990 --> 00:10:18,685
- Hooper.
- Hooper. Hooper!
145
00:10:18,892 --> 00:10:21,122
Roll your machine up.
146
00:10:23,964 --> 00:10:26,728
Don't necessarily
have to catch it, I guess.
147
00:10:26,933 --> 00:10:28,560
Can't hope for miracles, can you?
148
00:10:31,738 --> 00:10:33,535
You gotta get under the ball.
149
00:10:39,479 --> 00:10:42,312
There's too many gnats out here.
150
00:10:52,592 --> 00:10:54,253
Give me a ball.
151
00:10:59,299 --> 00:11:01,426
What the hell is that,
a baggie full of bacon?
152
00:11:03,737 --> 00:11:06,763
- I'm on Atkins.
- What?
153
00:11:06,973 --> 00:11:09,373
I have to eat all the time
to keep my metabolism up
154
00:11:09,576 --> 00:11:11,567
so my body becomes
a fat-burning machine
155
00:11:11,778 --> 00:11:16,147
so assholes like you
don't give me shit all the time!
156
00:11:16,516 --> 00:11:17,608
Easy, sport.
157
00:11:19,886 --> 00:11:23,583
All right, get ready. It's coming at you.
You might want to back up.
158
00:11:32,399 --> 00:11:33,559
Guys, it's a bunt.
159
00:11:33,767 --> 00:11:35,962
You seemed to imply you're
going to hit it out here.
160
00:11:36,703 --> 00:11:39,501
Yeah. Engelberg, that's a bunt, bud.
161
00:11:39,706 --> 00:11:42,800
You're supposed to pick it up,
throw the guy out at first base, okay?
162
00:11:43,009 --> 00:11:45,842
Here we go again,
picking on the fat kid.
163
00:11:46,046 --> 00:11:48,981
There's laws against this, you know.
Harassment!
164
00:11:49,182 --> 00:11:52,549
You better shut up before I tell
somebody you touched my pecker.
165
00:11:52,952 --> 00:11:55,750
Engelberg, will you throw
the goddamn ball already?
166
00:12:12,038 --> 00:12:14,029
Okay, listen up.
167
00:12:16,443 --> 00:12:18,343
Listen very carefully.
168
00:12:19,579 --> 00:12:23,174
Rule number one:
Don't mess with the Cadillac.
169
00:12:23,383 --> 00:12:26,181
Calm down,
it's a piece of crap anyway.
170
00:12:26,419 --> 00:12:28,910
For your information, it's a classic.
171
00:12:29,422 --> 00:12:32,391
And I got half a mind to find your old
man and kick him in the nuts so hard
172
00:12:32,592 --> 00:12:35,652
he can never foul the earth
with another little shit like you.
173
00:12:35,862 --> 00:12:37,796
So you keep your trap shut, okay?
174
00:12:38,798 --> 00:12:41,596
We're gonna get laughed at. We only
have a week till the season starts.
175
00:12:41,801 --> 00:12:43,564
Everyone's gonna laugh at us.
176
00:12:43,837 --> 00:12:47,204
This game is about a lot more
than talent, son, believe me.
177
00:12:47,407 --> 00:12:50,774
I'll say. I left more talent floating
in the shitter this morning
178
00:12:50,977 --> 00:12:53,138
than all you retarded
jerk-offs put together.
179
00:12:53,413 --> 00:12:55,108
You got a problem, dingleberry?
180
00:12:55,982 --> 00:12:58,473
Give me a few minutes,
I'll squeeze out a new coach too.
181
00:12:59,586 --> 00:13:01,816
I'll teach you, you little short kid!
182
00:13:02,021 --> 00:13:04,353
- Jesus.
- I'll teach you to mess with me.
183
00:13:04,557 --> 00:13:06,923
Does your mama change
your underwear too, you little girl?
184
00:13:22,308 --> 00:13:26,369
I'm out there with the kids for nothing.
And I'm getting very tired
185
00:13:26,579 --> 00:13:29,207
of having to justify myself
to parents who drop the kid off at 4:00,
186
00:13:29,415 --> 00:13:31,576
call me at midnight wondering
why he's so pissed off.
187
00:13:31,785 --> 00:13:34,117
- Ray, you got a minute...?
- I want to say to them, "I'm not
188
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:36,015
your babysitter. I'm your coach."
189
00:13:36,222 --> 00:13:37,314
Oh, yeah.
190
00:13:37,524 --> 00:13:38,923
Mr. Bill Deaver.
191
00:13:39,826 --> 00:13:42,021
Hey, just checking in.
192
00:13:42,362 --> 00:13:45,729
Just checking in. Listen, Ray,
I wanted to see
193
00:13:45,932 --> 00:13:50,062
if maybe Jake could get a little
more playing time this season.
194
00:13:50,270 --> 00:13:54,104
He's been working hard.
It would really mean a lot to him.
195
00:13:55,475 --> 00:13:57,705
Yeah, sure.
196
00:13:57,911 --> 00:14:00,778
- Why not?
- Really? Well, great.
197
00:14:02,348 --> 00:14:04,475
Thanks a lot, Ray.
198
00:14:04,818 --> 00:14:05,876
Guys.
199
00:14:06,452 --> 00:14:09,615
You know, I spoke to your boy.
You know what he said to me?
200
00:14:09,823 --> 00:14:11,757
- What?
- He said all that matters to him
201
00:14:11,958 --> 00:14:13,391
is that we win.
202
00:14:13,693 --> 00:14:16,594
Even if it means giving up
a little game time.
203
00:14:16,796 --> 00:14:18,024
- Really?
- Yeah.
204
00:14:18,231 --> 00:14:21,667
I was really touched by this.
He's a hell of a team player.
205
00:14:23,369 --> 00:14:26,634
Thanks, Ray. I appreciate it.
206
00:14:28,441 --> 00:14:30,204
That's the kind of
horseshit I'm talking about.
207
00:14:30,410 --> 00:14:31,968
- Exactly.
- Unbelievable.
208
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:42,779
Hey, Buttermaker, you made it.
209
00:14:42,989 --> 00:14:44,547
And you brought...
210
00:14:44,757 --> 00:14:46,622
Oh, this is my friend Paradise.
211
00:14:46,826 --> 00:14:48,817
Hi, nice to meet you.
212
00:14:49,028 --> 00:14:51,963
Hey, Buttermaker, you gotta get
your uniform orders in.
213
00:14:52,198 --> 00:14:53,825
- Uniforms?
- Yeah.
214
00:14:54,033 --> 00:14:56,797
All the good colors are taken:
Black and white, red and white,
215
00:14:57,003 --> 00:14:58,834
blue and white, white and blue,
white and black,
216
00:14:59,038 --> 00:15:00,903
white and red. They're all gone.
217
00:15:01,341 --> 00:15:02,899
What uniforms?
218
00:15:03,109 --> 00:15:07,705
Möchte ich nicht sweet and sour,
okay? No sweet and sour.
219
00:15:07,914 --> 00:15:12,715
Just Cointreau, Patrón,
lime juice and superfine salt.
220
00:15:12,919 --> 00:15:14,978
- Yes, ma'am.
- Listen, Whitewood, what's the deal
221
00:15:15,188 --> 00:15:17,213
- with the uniforms?
- What about them?
222
00:15:17,423 --> 00:15:19,983
I didn't... What's-her-name said
that I gotta have uniforms.
223
00:15:20,793 --> 00:15:24,024
Hey, buddy, give me a beer
and a C&C.
224
00:15:24,230 --> 00:15:28,030
Buttermaker, you don't actually buy
them. You just need a sponsor.
225
00:15:28,234 --> 00:15:30,327
You're the coach, it's your job.
226
00:15:30,536 --> 00:15:33,505
Okay, so not only do I have to
coach the bronze medalists
227
00:15:33,706 --> 00:15:37,642
for the Special Olympics, but I gotta be
an Amway salesman too, is that it?
228
00:15:37,844 --> 00:15:39,971
Buttermaker, don't turn this
into high drama.
229
00:15:40,179 --> 00:15:41,407
Do what other coaches do:
230
00:15:41,614 --> 00:15:43,946
Restaurants, sporting goods stores,
you know.
231
00:15:44,150 --> 00:15:45,378
You know, I got a job.
232
00:15:46,786 --> 00:15:49,949
I got houses to spray.
It's ant season, you know?
233
00:15:50,623 --> 00:15:54,320
What is it about being a man
that makes everything so hard?
234
00:15:55,261 --> 00:15:57,229
I own my own law firm.
235
00:15:57,430 --> 00:16:01,161
I'm a single mother, and I still
have time for extension courses,
236
00:16:01,367 --> 00:16:03,631
Pilates, the flower-seed business,
pottery...
237
00:16:03,836 --> 00:16:08,170
You know what, I'm busy too, okay?
I got important shit to do.
238
00:16:08,374 --> 00:16:11,275
I got shit stacked up
all over the place.
239
00:16:11,477 --> 00:16:14,810
Important man shit, okay?
240
00:16:16,516 --> 00:16:19,417
Come on, Buttermaker, let's go.
241
00:16:58,791 --> 00:17:00,053
Mr. Buttermaker?
242
00:17:00,259 --> 00:17:02,284
- Yeah.
- Where are we going?
243
00:17:02,495 --> 00:17:04,759
I already told you,
to the batting cages.
244
00:17:04,964 --> 00:17:07,262
You guys swing like Helen Keller
at a pinata party.
245
00:17:07,467 --> 00:17:08,764
I'm gonna do something about it.
246
00:17:09,535 --> 00:17:12,698
- Tell us about the majors, coach.
- You were in the majors?
247
00:17:12,905 --> 00:17:14,304
Yeah, for a little while.
248
00:17:14,907 --> 00:17:18,172
Hey, Lupus, don't lean against
that door, bud, all right?
249
00:17:18,378 --> 00:17:21,370
Yes, I was recently perusing
baseballstats. Org
250
00:17:21,581 --> 00:17:24,482
and it said Mr. Buttermaker played
pitcher for the Seattle Mariners
251
00:17:24,684 --> 00:17:26,481
for two-thirds of an inning in 1984.
252
00:17:26,686 --> 00:17:28,449
Two-thirds, that's it?
253
00:17:28,654 --> 00:17:31,248
Well, it was the end of the season,
you know, September call-ups.
254
00:17:31,457 --> 00:17:34,187
Yes, his lifetime ERA was 36.
255
00:17:34,394 --> 00:17:35,452
That's lame.
256
00:17:35,661 --> 00:17:37,822
Yeah, well I closed
the inning out, okay.
257
00:17:38,031 --> 00:17:40,659
There's only a few thousand guys ever
set foot on a major-league mound,
258
00:17:40,867 --> 00:17:43,961
and I'm one of them. What have
you done with your life, smart-ass?
259
00:17:45,104 --> 00:17:46,503
Why didn't you stay?
260
00:17:46,706 --> 00:17:48,970
Well, I was gonna come back,
but I had a little incident.
261
00:17:49,175 --> 00:17:51,700
I punched an ump.
Really just a bitch-slap.
262
00:17:51,911 --> 00:17:54,072
How the hell was I supposed to know
he was a bleeder?
263
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:57,477
Fourteen stitches.
Like that means something.
264
00:17:57,683 --> 00:18:01,744
They used to stitch everything up,
goddamn it. It was like the Dark Ages.
265
00:18:02,588 --> 00:18:04,453
I got stitches on my foot.
266
00:18:05,191 --> 00:18:08,786
Oh, yeah?
Well, I'm in a damn wheelchair.
267
00:18:14,067 --> 00:18:16,831
Anyway, after that,
I blew off a few offers,
268
00:18:17,036 --> 00:18:20,164
you know, Japan, shit like that.
You know what I mean?
269
00:18:23,676 --> 00:18:25,473
Shit.
270
00:18:26,946 --> 00:18:28,106
What the hell?
271
00:18:28,314 --> 00:18:30,111
Is he okay?
272
00:18:31,451 --> 00:18:33,009
Lupus.
273
00:18:34,253 --> 00:18:36,084
Lupus?
274
00:18:37,223 --> 00:18:38,884
Lupus?
275
00:18:39,826 --> 00:18:41,623
Lupus.
276
00:18:42,361 --> 00:18:44,329
What the hell are you grinning at?
277
00:18:44,530 --> 00:18:48,227
You scared the hell out of me.
Don't be leaning on the door.
278
00:18:53,306 --> 00:18:54,796
How many are in there?
279
00:18:55,007 --> 00:18:58,135
The infestation's quite advanced.
280
00:18:58,411 --> 00:19:00,811
All right, pull the pin. Throw it.
281
00:19:11,557 --> 00:19:15,618
There you go. Good job, buddy.
Good job, man. You're a natural.
282
00:19:15,828 --> 00:19:18,058
A natural at that shit.
283
00:19:20,032 --> 00:19:21,329
Thanks.
284
00:19:22,335 --> 00:19:27,068
Die! Die! How do you like that, huh?
285
00:19:27,573 --> 00:19:30,667
Hey, you sprayed my foot,
dumb-ass.
286
00:19:30,877 --> 00:19:32,276
Oh, yeah?
287
00:19:36,916 --> 00:19:38,713
Stop it!
288
00:19:40,086 --> 00:19:43,647
That shit's expensive, all right?
289
00:19:48,060 --> 00:19:51,962
Hey, coach,
what's "carcinogen" mean?
290
00:19:52,165 --> 00:19:54,861
Liberal propaganda.
Don't worry about it. It's just bullshit.
291
00:19:55,067 --> 00:19:57,695
Buttermaker, I got these
behind the garage.
292
00:19:57,904 --> 00:20:00,930
Throw them in the garbage,
in the house.
293
00:20:03,843 --> 00:20:05,777
Hey, save the traps, will you?
294
00:20:09,215 --> 00:20:10,773
Thanks for holding
the fort down, buddy.
295
00:20:14,787 --> 00:20:16,652
I got something for you.
You're gonna dig this.
296
00:20:16,856 --> 00:20:19,290
Hey, guys, come here a minute.
297
00:20:19,759 --> 00:20:21,818
I got something for you.
298
00:20:26,165 --> 00:20:29,623
Now you can quit your bitching
about the whole uniform thing.
299
00:20:29,835 --> 00:20:31,166
Here you go.
300
00:20:31,370 --> 00:20:32,962
- Harper. Heads up, buddy.
- Awesome!
301
00:20:33,172 --> 00:20:34,662
Hooper.
302
00:20:50,289 --> 00:20:52,553
Cannonball!
303
00:20:54,427 --> 00:20:55,394
Jesus Christ.
304
00:20:55,595 --> 00:21:00,532
Hey, Engelberg, if you do that again,
you'll learn how to surf.
305
00:21:01,033 --> 00:21:04,161
Mr. Buttermaker,
we have a game tomorrow.
306
00:21:04,370 --> 00:21:06,565
Shouldn't we be practicing?
307
00:21:08,107 --> 00:21:11,270
Lupus, alcohol.
308
00:21:13,312 --> 00:21:17,373
Excellent. God bless you.
309
00:21:19,552 --> 00:21:22,919
- You got a future, Lupus.
- You ever play with anyone famous?
310
00:21:23,122 --> 00:21:24,919
Hell, yeah, I played with people
who are famous.
311
00:21:25,124 --> 00:21:28,150
What do you think? I mean,
I was in the game, you know.
312
00:21:28,361 --> 00:21:30,056
Oh, I know one.
313
00:21:30,263 --> 00:21:33,994
One time I struck out Mike Schmidt
in an exhibition game.
314
00:21:34,734 --> 00:21:37,703
Struck his ass right out. Yeah, I did.
315
00:21:38,337 --> 00:21:40,498
It was 1980.
316
00:21:40,773 --> 00:21:45,107
It was two outs,
bottom of the seventh inning.
317
00:21:45,378 --> 00:21:48,506
It was the bottom of the seventh...
Top of the seventh.
318
00:21:48,714 --> 00:21:50,682
It was top of the seventh.
319
00:21:50,950 --> 00:21:54,545
And when I put my foot on that rubber,
I was zoned in, man.
320
00:21:54,754 --> 00:21:57,314
It was just one
of those times when...
321
00:21:58,424 --> 00:22:01,257
You just know you got
your shit working, you know?
322
00:22:05,364 --> 00:22:08,231
All right, tubby, I'm gonna throw you
something called a screwball.
323
00:22:08,467 --> 00:22:12,494
It's an old-school thing. Now, it's gonna
look like it's coming right at you,
324
00:22:12,705 --> 00:22:15,299
but it's gonna drop right off the table.
So you don't bail out,
325
00:22:15,508 --> 00:22:18,238
you gotta stick in there.
You see what I'm saying?
326
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:22,542
Son of a bitch!
327
00:22:22,748 --> 00:22:24,477
Shake it off.
328
00:22:24,750 --> 00:22:26,479
Next.
329
00:22:29,522 --> 00:22:31,786
- Damn it!
- I know it stings a little bit,
330
00:22:31,991 --> 00:22:33,788
but it's worth it.
331
00:22:34,593 --> 00:22:36,060
Okay, here it comes.
332
00:22:37,897 --> 00:22:41,128
It's all right, kid. You had a helmet on.
Imagine if you didn't.
333
00:22:41,334 --> 00:22:42,995
You know what I'm saying?
334
00:22:45,171 --> 00:22:46,638
What are you doing, Buttermaker?
335
00:22:53,112 --> 00:22:55,376
Okay, coming at you.
336
00:23:04,256 --> 00:23:06,224
Mr. Buttermaker?
337
00:23:06,525 --> 00:23:09,494
- Is he dead?
- Hell, no. He's drunk.
338
00:23:09,695 --> 00:23:11,629
The season starts tomorrow.
339
00:23:11,964 --> 00:23:14,694
We don't got our positions,
batting order, nothing.
340
00:23:14,900 --> 00:23:17,368
- What are we going to do?
- We ain't ready to play.
341
00:23:17,570 --> 00:23:19,765
We got nothing but a boozer
for a coach.
342
00:23:20,005 --> 00:23:21,734
We can wait till he sobers up.
343
00:23:21,941 --> 00:23:24,409
- Yeah, right.
- Nothing else we can do.
344
00:23:25,344 --> 00:23:28,677
Screw this, I'm taking his wallet.
345
00:23:32,918 --> 00:23:35,648
- Give me! Give me...
- Hey, watch it!
346
00:23:35,855 --> 00:23:38,551
- Leave me alone!
- Give me that!
347
00:24:00,346 --> 00:24:02,246
Right this way. Good.
348
00:24:13,692 --> 00:24:16,126
Because in this time of terror,
349
00:24:16,362 --> 00:24:18,455
there is one thing we all need:
350
00:24:18,664 --> 00:24:20,097
The grace of our Lord,
351
00:24:20,533 --> 00:24:23,001
our heroes overseas,
352
00:24:23,469 --> 00:24:25,437
and baseball.
353
00:24:26,739 --> 00:24:30,266
"Casey at the Bat" by Ernest Thayer.
354
00:24:31,043 --> 00:24:34,809
The outlook wasn't brilliant
for the Mudville nine that day.
355
00:24:35,014 --> 00:24:37,505
- The score stood 4 to 2...
- What a fag.
356
00:25:06,412 --> 00:25:09,575
Buttermaker, where have you been?
357
00:25:09,782 --> 00:25:11,613
You missed the team photo.
358
00:25:11,817 --> 00:25:13,910
I was just getting Gatorade
for the guys, you know.
359
00:25:14,787 --> 00:25:20,726
Well, we need to talk about this.
My son can't wear this.
360
00:25:22,194 --> 00:25:24,526
We'll get him another size.
No big deal.
361
00:25:24,763 --> 00:25:26,390
That's not what I'm talking about.
362
00:25:28,601 --> 00:25:30,933
Look, it's a legitimate business,
honey.
363
00:25:31,136 --> 00:25:33,570
You know, they pay taxes
like everybody else.
364
00:25:50,322 --> 00:25:54,190
All right, can you believe it?
It's here, opening day.
365
00:25:54,894 --> 00:25:57,454
Well, we got a lot of great athletes
this year,
366
00:25:57,663 --> 00:25:59,927
and I'm looking forward to
a great season.
367
00:26:00,132 --> 00:26:02,100
Before we get started,
I do want to remind you
368
00:26:02,301 --> 00:26:04,667
that it is Summer Discount Days
at Valley Chevy Subaru.
369
00:26:04,870 --> 00:26:09,034
So come on down if you get a chance.
Meanwhile, so many volunteers...
370
00:26:12,411 --> 00:26:13,901
And people that I want to thank...
371
00:26:16,015 --> 00:26:17,175
Hey, hey, hey!
372
00:26:17,716 --> 00:26:18,842
What is he...? What's his...?
373
00:26:19,051 --> 00:26:21,986
Hey, get... Get the hell off my field!
374
00:26:22,988 --> 00:26:25,786
I'll deal with you later,
you little punk.
375
00:26:32,331 --> 00:26:37,735
Okay, let's welcome all our teams.
376
00:26:40,272 --> 00:26:41,933
We got...
377
00:26:42,942 --> 00:26:47,709
Ray Bullock and our returning
champs, the Yankees.
378
00:26:52,618 --> 00:26:55,348
Lenny Hendricks and the Giants.
379
00:26:57,389 --> 00:27:02,918
Ex-Mariner, Morris Buttermaker
and the Bears.
380
00:27:07,900 --> 00:27:10,391
Bob Jones and the White Sox.
381
00:27:10,603 --> 00:27:12,298
Play ball!
382
00:27:18,944 --> 00:27:22,004
There you go, Mitch. There you go!
383
00:27:22,348 --> 00:27:24,578
Round it, round it, round it!
384
00:27:28,287 --> 00:27:29,584
There you go!
385
00:27:29,788 --> 00:27:30,982
Alrighty.
386
00:27:31,190 --> 00:27:32,953
That's it!
387
00:27:34,793 --> 00:27:36,852
Number 9, Joey Bullock.
388
00:27:39,732 --> 00:27:40,926
That's it, that's it, that's it.
389
00:27:41,133 --> 00:27:43,067
Go!
390
00:27:44,069 --> 00:27:46,731
Joey! Joey!
391
00:27:49,141 --> 00:27:51,871
That's my boy. We worked on that.
392
00:27:52,111 --> 00:27:54,944
The Yankees lead 3-nothing.
393
00:27:55,614 --> 00:27:57,844
Way to go, sweetie.
394
00:27:59,418 --> 00:28:00,385
That's your boy.
395
00:28:00,586 --> 00:28:04,113
- Next, number 3, Danny Patello.
- Let's go, Danny!
396
00:28:11,664 --> 00:28:14,030
Go two, go two, go two!
397
00:29:47,059 --> 00:29:48,686
What do you think, Lupus?
398
00:29:49,161 --> 00:29:52,255
Sometimes bird poo
tastes like candy.
399
00:29:57,903 --> 00:30:00,497
Aren't you supposed
to be in left field?
400
00:30:04,710 --> 00:30:06,302
Shit.
401
00:30:07,579 --> 00:30:08,546
Where you going, coach?
402
00:30:08,747 --> 00:30:12,046
Keep your drawers on, officer,
I'll get back to you.
403
00:30:12,785 --> 00:30:14,150
Hey, Bullock.
404
00:30:15,954 --> 00:30:17,717
Morris "The Blade."
405
00:30:18,223 --> 00:30:21,021
- I'm calling it.
- What? What are you talking about?
406
00:30:21,226 --> 00:30:24,525
I'm calling the game. The kids are
getting creamed out there, you know?
407
00:30:24,730 --> 00:30:27,290
- Yeah, it's a bloodbath.
- Yeah.
408
00:30:27,499 --> 00:30:30,059
- That'll make quitters out of them.
- They don't have to quit.
409
00:30:30,269 --> 00:30:31,793
They're losing, can't you see?
410
00:30:32,037 --> 00:30:35,598
The 10-run rule kicks in after three.
I think you should hang on.
411
00:30:35,808 --> 00:30:39,039
Yeah, then after that,
maybe you think about...
412
00:30:39,845 --> 00:30:42,405
- What?
- You know, dropping out.
413
00:30:43,949 --> 00:30:47,077
- What did you say?
- Dropping out of the league.
414
00:30:47,286 --> 00:30:48,480
Morris, this isn't going to work.
415
00:30:48,687 --> 00:30:50,655
They don't know the fundamentals
of the game out here.
416
00:30:50,856 --> 00:30:52,483
Save them the humiliation.
417
00:30:52,691 --> 00:30:55,421
You don't give two shits
about these kids. I'm calling the game.
418
00:30:55,627 --> 00:30:56,889
Hey, I'm just trying to help.
419
00:30:57,095 --> 00:31:00,929
Where's the honor and respect for the
game from the former pro, by the way?
420
00:31:01,133 --> 00:31:04,933
Who the hell are you, Shoeless Joe
walking out of the holy cornfield?
421
00:31:05,137 --> 00:31:07,264
I don't buy that shit.
I'm calling the game.
422
00:31:07,472 --> 00:31:09,274
All right, call it. Quit. Quit
the whole league. What I just said.
423
00:31:09,274 --> 00:31:13,142
All right, call it. Quit. Quit
the whole league. What I just said.
424
00:31:13,345 --> 00:31:14,744
- Forfeit.
- Time!
425
00:31:14,947 --> 00:31:16,039
It's over.
426
00:31:16,248 --> 00:31:20,207
Bears forfeit! Game over!
427
00:31:21,687 --> 00:31:24,247
One, two, three, Bears!
428
00:31:32,297 --> 00:31:35,164
You guys look like
the last shit I took.
429
00:31:36,134 --> 00:31:40,935
- It's not that bad, but...
- Shut the hell up, drunk bastard!
430
00:31:44,409 --> 00:31:45,774
Okay.
431
00:31:46,345 --> 00:31:48,336
Hey, Bears,
thanks for batting practice.
432
00:31:48,547 --> 00:31:49,878
Yeah, you guys suck.
433
00:31:50,082 --> 00:31:52,607
- I'll give you batting practice!
- Come here. Come here.
434
00:31:52,818 --> 00:31:55,946
- Get down off of there.
- Get your hands off of me!
435
00:32:00,492 --> 00:32:06,021
Thanks. I really needed another
reason for people to laugh at me.
436
00:32:22,714 --> 00:32:25,478
- Need a ride?
- Go away.
437
00:32:26,151 --> 00:32:27,778
Come on, hop in.
I'll take you home.
438
00:32:28,020 --> 00:32:29,351
I'm not going home.
439
00:32:42,067 --> 00:32:43,261
All right, what's wrong?
440
00:32:43,602 --> 00:32:45,593
My dad's not from here.
441
00:32:45,804 --> 00:32:47,829
He thinks baseball's stupid.
442
00:32:48,974 --> 00:32:51,568
He says I should just worry
about school and work.
443
00:32:51,777 --> 00:32:54,109
But I want to do the things
my friends do.
444
00:32:54,313 --> 00:32:56,577
You know, American things.
445
00:32:56,782 --> 00:32:59,250
He said if I played,
I'd just embarrass myself.
446
00:32:59,685 --> 00:33:01,880
I guess he was right.
447
00:33:04,589 --> 00:33:06,386
I'm just gonna run away.
448
00:33:06,758 --> 00:33:08,419
Where are you gonna go?
449
00:33:08,627 --> 00:33:10,788
Salt Lake City.
450
00:33:11,363 --> 00:33:13,263
Why the hell would you want
to go there?
451
00:33:14,066 --> 00:33:16,796
I hear it looks like Washington D.C.
452
00:33:17,336 --> 00:33:21,033
Listen, kid, you don't want
to go to Salt Lake, trust me.
453
00:33:21,239 --> 00:33:23,002
They don't even like Africans
up there.
454
00:33:23,208 --> 00:33:25,972
- Armenian.
- Yeah, right.
455
00:33:27,713 --> 00:33:30,443
- Anyway, I think I can help you.
- Yeah?
456
00:33:30,649 --> 00:33:32,514
- Yep.
- How?
457
00:33:32,718 --> 00:33:33,742
Here's what you do.
458
00:33:34,386 --> 00:33:36,946
You go home, you look your old
man straight in the eye, and you say,
459
00:33:37,155 --> 00:33:40,283
"Guess what, Dad, we won today."
You know.
460
00:33:40,492 --> 00:33:43,461
- But we didn't win.
- Well, I know that.
461
00:33:43,895 --> 00:33:47,695
You lie your ass off. It's the only way.
Look, this is America.
462
00:33:48,233 --> 00:33:50,201
Besides that, you know,
he's not going to know.
463
00:33:50,402 --> 00:33:52,427
He's from Riki Tiki Tavi,
or wherever the hell it is.
464
00:33:52,637 --> 00:33:54,366
I used to do it with my pop
all the time.
465
00:33:54,573 --> 00:33:57,064
- Really?
- Yeah. You just tell them
466
00:33:57,275 --> 00:34:01,075
what they want to hear. You know,
"I didn't take the stereo."
467
00:34:01,546 --> 00:34:06,609
"I don't smoke." "She said
she was 18." You know, stuff like that.
468
00:34:06,818 --> 00:34:09,514
It's all part of growing up.
The important thing is that you're right,
469
00:34:09,721 --> 00:34:11,416
and they're wrong.
470
00:34:13,392 --> 00:34:16,156
Maybe I'll just tell him we tied.
471
00:34:17,796 --> 00:34:20,230
You could do that. That'll work.
472
00:34:20,432 --> 00:34:23,765
Now, come on,
I'll take you home. Let's go.
473
00:34:29,007 --> 00:34:31,601
A hundred and eighty bucks?
474
00:34:32,177 --> 00:34:34,145
That's Norma Kamali. It's vintage.
475
00:34:34,346 --> 00:34:36,075
They can't even make rayon
like that anymore.
476
00:34:36,281 --> 00:34:38,010
- Really?
- Hey, does your mother know
477
00:34:38,216 --> 00:34:39,774
you're selling that crap?
478
00:34:39,985 --> 00:34:41,247
What are you doing here?
479
00:34:41,486 --> 00:34:43,147
Just passing by.
480
00:34:43,455 --> 00:34:44,922
After three years?
481
00:34:45,290 --> 00:34:48,589
Three years?
It's been three years?
482
00:34:50,228 --> 00:34:53,163
Well, you sure are growing up fast,
that's for sure.
483
00:34:53,598 --> 00:34:55,532
Not fast enough, if you ask me.
484
00:34:56,034 --> 00:34:58,002
There's plenty of time for that,
honey.
485
00:34:58,470 --> 00:35:02,338
Just like that story about the caterpillar
who's crawling along like a worm,
486
00:35:02,541 --> 00:35:06,136
and then the next thing you know,
he's in that cocoon...
487
00:35:06,778 --> 00:35:09,303
...and bam!
"Look at me now, I'm...
488
00:35:10,248 --> 00:35:12,944
...a moth."
Or whatever the hell they turn into.
489
00:35:13,151 --> 00:35:14,641
I don't want wings.
490
00:35:14,853 --> 00:35:17,014
I want nice hips and C cups.
491
00:35:17,222 --> 00:35:19,622
Hey, don't talk like that.
What's wrong with you?
492
00:35:19,825 --> 00:35:21,588
Come on.
493
00:35:24,596 --> 00:35:26,188
So how's your mom?
494
00:35:26,398 --> 00:35:28,229
She's fine. What do you care?
495
00:35:29,301 --> 00:35:31,929
Amanda, listen, just because we
didn't get along so well all the time,
496
00:35:32,137 --> 00:35:34,071
doesn't mean I don't
care about her, okay?
497
00:35:35,340 --> 00:35:37,137
You know, adults, they...
498
00:35:37,442 --> 00:35:40,240
Sometimes, I don't know, it's just...
It's like that story I was telling you
499
00:35:40,445 --> 00:35:42,310
about the caterpillar
and the worm deal.
500
00:35:42,514 --> 00:35:45,074
You just walked out, you jerk.
You could have said goodbye.
501
00:35:45,283 --> 00:35:46,545
Well, I'm sorry.
502
00:35:47,786 --> 00:35:49,686
So, what do you want?
Why are you here?
503
00:35:52,023 --> 00:35:55,151
I'm coaching a team out in the Valley,
and I was just thinking, you know,
504
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:58,761
maybe you might want
to come play with us.
505
00:35:58,964 --> 00:36:02,092
No way. I'm a woman now,
and we don't do that kind of thing.
506
00:36:02,734 --> 00:36:05,328
Well, sure you do.
Girls play baseball all the time.
507
00:36:06,204 --> 00:36:07,865
Besides that, you owe me.
508
00:36:08,273 --> 00:36:09,672
I was like a dad to you.
509
00:36:10,442 --> 00:36:12,069
A drunk, lazy dad.
510
00:36:12,277 --> 00:36:15,041
You made me climb under houses
looking for rats.
511
00:36:15,247 --> 00:36:18,011
Well, that's what my dad did.
Builds character.
512
00:36:18,216 --> 00:36:21,708
- This guy bothering you, Amanda?
- No, it's okay. He was just going.
513
00:36:21,920 --> 00:36:25,287
Go away, Boilermaker.
You're scaring off the clientele.
514
00:36:25,557 --> 00:36:31,689
Designer jeans.
Calvins, Jordache, certified vintage.
515
00:36:35,066 --> 00:36:36,761
What do you say there, Hooper?
516
00:36:36,968 --> 00:36:39,596
Feeling ready today?
Gonna go get them?
517
00:36:40,872 --> 00:36:42,464
What's with the eye patch?
518
00:36:42,674 --> 00:36:45,302
You gonna swab the on-deck circle
for us, matey?
519
00:36:45,510 --> 00:36:46,841
Playing pirate?
520
00:36:47,045 --> 00:36:50,014
Mom says I have cancer of the eye.
521
00:36:54,519 --> 00:36:56,919
What the hell's wrong
with you guys?
522
00:36:57,956 --> 00:36:59,446
We don't want to play no more.
523
00:36:59,891 --> 00:37:03,850
We took a vote.
We're disbanding the team.
524
00:37:05,030 --> 00:37:07,191
So one game, you want to quit,
is that it?
525
00:37:07,399 --> 00:37:10,493
We've been taking
a lot of crap in school.
526
00:37:10,702 --> 00:37:13,603
By "crap," he means ridicule.
527
00:37:14,673 --> 00:37:16,971
And de-pantsing.
528
00:37:17,809 --> 00:37:22,473
- It's been tough.
- Really? Tough, huh?
529
00:37:25,050 --> 00:37:27,416
What the hell happened
to you, Tanner?
530
00:37:28,386 --> 00:37:30,081
Got in a fight.
531
00:37:33,158 --> 00:37:36,423
- With who?
- The sixth grade.
532
00:37:36,628 --> 00:37:38,562
The sixth grade.
533
00:37:39,664 --> 00:37:41,461
So I guess you
want to quit too, huh?
534
00:37:43,401 --> 00:37:45,062
Okay.
535
00:37:47,172 --> 00:37:50,300
Look, guys, I know I've been lazy...
536
00:37:50,575 --> 00:37:55,842
...and irresponsible, and a few
other things I could mention.
537
00:37:56,681 --> 00:37:58,808
And I've let you down.
538
00:38:01,152 --> 00:38:03,052
I mean, you know,
I've been an asshole.
539
00:38:03,255 --> 00:38:06,383
- You know, go ahead and say it...
- You're an asshole.
540
00:38:06,591 --> 00:38:11,460
When I say, "say it," I mean,
you know, it's a figure of speech.
541
00:38:14,666 --> 00:38:17,794
Baseball's hard, guys.
I mean, it really is.
542
00:38:18,236 --> 00:38:21,364
You can love it, but believe me,
it don't always love you back.
543
00:38:21,573 --> 00:38:24,701
It's kind of like dating
a German chick, you know?
544
00:38:26,578 --> 00:38:31,914
But what I do know is that once you
start quitting, it's a hard thing to stop.
545
00:38:33,585 --> 00:38:36,952
I've quit just about everything
I ever tried in my life.
546
00:38:38,089 --> 00:38:40,614
And as far as I can tell,
547
00:38:40,825 --> 00:38:43,350
my life hasn't added up to
much more than a shitbag
548
00:38:43,561 --> 00:38:46,826
full of empty promises. And I'm
not going to put that on you guys.
549
00:38:49,968 --> 00:38:53,131
I haven't been as good a coach
as I can be. I know I can do it
550
00:38:53,338 --> 00:38:57,274
because I know this game,
you know? And...
551
00:38:58,743 --> 00:39:02,702
And we can do better, and a lot
of that's my responsibility, so...
552
00:39:05,450 --> 00:39:07,577
I know you're down...
553
00:39:08,420 --> 00:39:12,117
...but let's get our stuff together,
and go hit the field.
554
00:39:13,258 --> 00:39:14,748
Okay?
555
00:39:16,828 --> 00:39:21,822
- You with me?
- Like I said, we took a vote.
556
00:39:23,134 --> 00:39:25,364
This is not a democracy!
557
00:39:25,570 --> 00:39:28,630
It is a dictatorship, and I'm Hitler!
558
00:39:28,840 --> 00:39:30,705
You understand me?
559
00:39:30,909 --> 00:39:35,346
So get your stuff,
and get your asses on the field!
560
00:39:35,914 --> 00:39:37,438
This Saturday we play the Athletics.
561
00:39:37,649 --> 00:39:39,412
And you know what
that means for the Athletics?
562
00:39:39,617 --> 00:39:43,178
Bad news for the Athletics,
that's what it means.
563
00:39:43,822 --> 00:39:45,813
All right, guys.
Keep the ball in front of you.
564
00:39:46,024 --> 00:39:50,586
Keep your knees bent, your butt down.
That way if it hops either way...
565
00:39:50,795 --> 00:39:53,161
See? You use your legs. All right?
566
00:39:55,967 --> 00:39:58,492
You wanna run this way.
Catch the ball like that.
567
00:40:00,438 --> 00:40:01,735
Yeah!
568
00:40:03,708 --> 00:40:04,970
Nice!
569
00:40:14,786 --> 00:40:18,119
Swivel on the back foot, throw your
hips, and keep your eye on the ball.
570
00:40:18,323 --> 00:40:21,850
You follow the ball right into here.
You see that? Okay?
571
00:40:22,060 --> 00:40:23,493
Try it, spark plug.
572
00:40:27,165 --> 00:40:29,065
Swing out a little bit
when you run around the base.
573
00:40:29,267 --> 00:40:30,598
You want to point in this direction.
574
00:40:30,802 --> 00:40:32,326
Left foot on the inside of the bag.
575
00:40:32,537 --> 00:40:34,471
You're gonna push off
that left foot.
576
00:40:38,410 --> 00:40:39,900
What's with the patch?
577
00:40:40,111 --> 00:40:44,445
Nothing. Cat scratched me.
But don't tell Buttermaker.
578
00:40:44,649 --> 00:40:46,116
Dying.
579
00:40:46,985 --> 00:40:48,543
Dying.
580
00:40:48,853 --> 00:40:51,321
You know,
there's a Mennonite anecdote
581
00:40:51,523 --> 00:40:53,047
about a simple farm hand
582
00:40:53,258 --> 00:40:56,056
who lifted a calf every morning
until one day
583
00:40:56,261 --> 00:40:58,229
he found himself able
to lift a cow.
584
00:40:58,430 --> 00:41:00,762
- What the hell does that mean?
- If we stay focused,
585
00:41:00,965 --> 00:41:02,956
eventually our strength will build.
586
00:41:03,168 --> 00:41:05,102
That's the dorkiest shit I've ever heard.
587
00:41:05,303 --> 00:41:09,399
Come on, guys! Two more laps!
You're dragging ass!
588
00:41:09,607 --> 00:41:11,871
Nice tits, Engelberg.
589
00:41:12,143 --> 00:41:13,474
Jesus.
590
00:41:13,678 --> 00:41:15,441
Buttermaker.
591
00:41:15,980 --> 00:41:18,039
Glad I caught you.
592
00:41:18,383 --> 00:41:20,510
I feel like we got off
on the wrong foot last week.
593
00:41:20,718 --> 00:41:23,346
Said some things we
didn't mean, you know.
594
00:41:23,922 --> 00:41:26,049
Let's forget about it, huh?
595
00:41:26,391 --> 00:41:27,915
Sorry.
596
00:41:34,532 --> 00:41:36,193
All right.
597
00:41:38,736 --> 00:41:40,431
All right...
598
00:41:40,638 --> 00:41:42,868
...you're sorry too, or...?
599
00:41:43,374 --> 00:41:46,343
I said all right. Okay?
600
00:41:55,887 --> 00:41:59,015
- How's that?
- How's what?
601
00:41:59,224 --> 00:42:00,885
You feel that?
602
00:42:01,326 --> 00:42:03,226
Feel what?
603
00:42:06,498 --> 00:42:09,695
You know, your face
is turning a little red, Ray.
604
00:42:10,001 --> 00:42:12,401
So, you know, what it might be
605
00:42:12,604 --> 00:42:15,937
is those gym shorts might be
a little tight for you.
606
00:42:16,708 --> 00:42:18,767
Looks like you're smuggling grapes
down there.
607
00:42:19,110 --> 00:42:21,874
Smells like somebody ate
a fifth of Scotch for lunch again.
608
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:24,708
Not that it's any of your business,
you know.
609
00:42:24,916 --> 00:42:28,147
- Really?
- But maybe. So...
610
00:42:30,321 --> 00:42:33,415
All right. You know what, you keep
stinking up the ballpark, Buttermaker.
611
00:42:33,625 --> 00:42:35,183
Yeah, okay.
612
00:42:35,527 --> 00:42:37,620
You play your game,
we'll play ours, Ray. How's that?
613
00:42:37,829 --> 00:42:40,093
Well, good luck with that.
614
00:42:42,333 --> 00:42:45,200
The championship game's
gonna be a lot of fun.
615
00:42:45,403 --> 00:42:48,338
It would be more fun
if you guys were there, huh?
616
00:42:48,706 --> 00:42:50,173
Oh, we'll be there, Morris.
617
00:42:50,375 --> 00:42:52,275
Don't worry about that.
618
00:42:53,011 --> 00:42:54,444
Hey, I know all about you.
619
00:42:54,646 --> 00:42:58,707
Minor league junkballer. What did
you have, five seconds in the majors?
620
00:42:58,917 --> 00:43:02,318
May work with the ladies,
but that crap doesn't work out here.
621
00:43:02,587 --> 00:43:04,919
These kids need role models.
622
00:43:05,623 --> 00:43:07,557
And you're not it.
623
00:43:08,826 --> 00:43:11,021
Have a nice night, Ray.
624
00:43:12,564 --> 00:43:14,293
Strike three!
625
00:43:17,769 --> 00:43:20,465
Engelberg,
I got something special for you.
626
00:43:20,672 --> 00:43:23,664
- It's for power hitters.
- Thanks, coach.
627
00:43:27,579 --> 00:43:33,040
Now batting for the Bears,
number 20, Mike Engelberg.
628
00:43:37,088 --> 00:43:39,852
- What the hell is this?
- I don't know.
629
00:43:40,058 --> 00:43:42,583
Buttermaker, what the hell
are you trying to pull?
630
00:43:42,794 --> 00:43:44,694
Hey, it's a league bat, okay?
631
00:43:44,896 --> 00:43:47,660
You're on thin ice, pal.
You try one more stunt like this again,
632
00:43:47,865 --> 00:43:50,129
I'm gonna bounce you
out of the league.
633
00:43:50,969 --> 00:43:53,494
Listen, Kevin, I don't think
it's gonna work out, buddy.
634
00:43:53,705 --> 00:43:55,570
I still get paid though, right?
635
00:43:55,773 --> 00:43:59,106
Well, sure. What do you think I am,
some asshole?
636
00:43:59,744 --> 00:44:01,302
Here.
637
00:44:04,849 --> 00:44:08,376
"Mombai"? You really went
all out for this one, didn't you?
638
00:44:08,586 --> 00:44:10,713
It's good enough to get your
little ass drunk for a month.
639
00:44:10,922 --> 00:44:13,322
Now, come on, get out of here.
You're creeping the kids out.
640
00:44:13,524 --> 00:44:15,788
Drop dead, asshole.
641
00:44:17,261 --> 00:44:22,597
And the final score:
Athletics, 9, Bears, nothing.
642
00:44:24,268 --> 00:44:25,360
Good job.
643
00:44:25,570 --> 00:44:28,300
Kiss my ass. Kiss my ass.
644
00:44:28,506 --> 00:44:29,700
Bitch.
645
00:44:29,907 --> 00:44:31,602
Suck it.
646
00:44:31,809 --> 00:44:33,140
What are you smiling at, Henry?
647
00:44:33,344 --> 00:44:37,280
Up the alley, down the street,
who's the toughest team to beat?
648
00:44:37,482 --> 00:44:41,077
Bears! Bears! Yay, Bears!
649
00:44:46,891 --> 00:44:49,052
Hey, come on, guys.
650
00:44:49,761 --> 00:44:52,924
Sit up straight, you look like
a bunch of hound dogs.
651
00:44:55,133 --> 00:44:56,930
You got nothing to be ashamed of.
652
00:44:57,135 --> 00:44:59,535
You got a few hits today.
653
00:44:59,837 --> 00:45:02,271
You played all six innings.
654
00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:05,575
- You ought to be proud of yourselves.
- Proud of what?
655
00:45:06,244 --> 00:45:08,075
These things take time, guys.
656
00:45:08,279 --> 00:45:10,873
- So does heart disease.
- And torture.
657
00:45:11,082 --> 00:45:12,572
And physical therapy.
658
00:45:16,187 --> 00:45:18,883
I did do some simple flowcharting
and data analysis.
659
00:45:19,123 --> 00:45:22,115
And if you graph out our errors
and other parameters,
660
00:45:22,326 --> 00:45:23,793
compared to the last game,
661
00:45:23,995 --> 00:45:26,623
we've actually improved
by a considerable percentage.
662
00:45:26,831 --> 00:45:28,264
Great.
663
00:45:28,733 --> 00:45:31,293
We went from suck to stink.
664
00:45:31,502 --> 00:45:35,199
See, that's the spirit.
We're getting better.
665
00:45:36,007 --> 00:45:38,635
Now, Friday we play the Angels.
666
00:45:39,677 --> 00:45:41,611
Now, what does that mean
for the Angels?
667
00:45:41,813 --> 00:45:44,839
- Bad news for the Angels.
- You're damn right, it does.
668
00:45:45,049 --> 00:45:48,246
Now, come on. Get off your asses,
and let's go get some hot dogs
669
00:45:48,453 --> 00:45:52,753
and some Sunny D or whatever
the hell you guys drink these days.
670
00:46:10,208 --> 00:46:11,937
Just leave me alone
will you, Buttermaker.
671
00:46:12,143 --> 00:46:13,667
I'm too young to have a stalker.
672
00:46:13,878 --> 00:46:16,176
Come on, Amanda,
just a few games, please?
673
00:46:16,380 --> 00:46:17,813
I need to make money.
674
00:46:18,015 --> 00:46:21,974
I need to buy clothes, makeup.
I'm saving up for a car.
675
00:46:22,520 --> 00:46:23,919
You wear makeup?
676
00:46:24,122 --> 00:46:29,992
What happened to
the Barbie oven with the muffin light?
677
00:46:30,194 --> 00:46:33,755
That was like 20 years ago.
I'm all grown up now.
678
00:46:33,965 --> 00:46:36,160
Yeah, you're probably right.
679
00:46:37,835 --> 00:46:40,201
I'm sure your arm
sucks now, anyhow.
680
00:46:40,404 --> 00:46:44,238
God, that is so lame.
Reverse psychology?
681
00:46:44,442 --> 00:46:47,605
You're such a loser.
Man, you must have a big one,
682
00:46:47,812 --> 00:46:49,803
because I don't know what else
my mom saw in you.
683
00:46:50,014 --> 00:46:52,847
You're not supposed to be
talking about my... My one.
684
00:46:53,050 --> 00:46:54,517
You're 12 years old.
685
00:46:54,719 --> 00:46:57,517
As far as you know,
I'm like G.I. Joe down there, okay?
686
00:46:57,722 --> 00:46:59,656
I have the Internet, you know.
I'm not stupid.
687
00:47:00,825 --> 00:47:03,692
Just come play with us, will you?
688
00:47:04,395 --> 00:47:06,727
It'll be fun.
689
00:47:07,598 --> 00:47:10,567
I'll pay for the clothes, okay?
690
00:47:10,768 --> 00:47:12,599
And I'll help you out with the car
691
00:47:12,804 --> 00:47:14,294
when it gets to that time.
692
00:47:14,505 --> 00:47:19,533
- But you know, you just...
- No. Don't you get it? Just no.
693
00:47:22,280 --> 00:47:24,840
All right,
I've been disappointed before.
694
00:47:54,178 --> 00:47:56,146
All right, guys, listen up.
695
00:47:56,347 --> 00:47:58,941
This is Amanda Whurlitzer.
She's your new pitcher.
696
00:47:59,784 --> 00:48:01,547
A girl?
697
00:48:01,752 --> 00:48:03,242
What's next, a cripple?
698
00:48:03,454 --> 00:48:06,582
Oh, I forgot.
699
00:48:08,292 --> 00:48:09,850
Dick.
700
00:48:11,128 --> 00:48:14,291
Hey, ain't you ever heard
of "throws like a girl"?
701
00:48:14,599 --> 00:48:17,591
No, I never heard that.
Get a mitt, fat-ass.
702
00:48:41,459 --> 00:48:44,087
I think I just entered puberty.
703
00:48:45,096 --> 00:48:46,120
Come on, Amanda.
704
00:48:46,898 --> 00:48:48,798
Strike three!
705
00:48:49,333 --> 00:48:53,326
Up next, number 18, Justin Cahill.
706
00:49:04,048 --> 00:49:05,515
He's out!
707
00:49:05,716 --> 00:49:07,308
Now batting for the Angels,
second baseman
708
00:49:08,686 --> 00:49:11,780
- Yanek Goldanueva.
- Hey, Hooper, check this out.
709
00:49:13,090 --> 00:49:15,422
She's gonna come with a changeup,
I can tell.
710
00:49:15,626 --> 00:49:16,957
She's psyching him out.
711
00:49:17,261 --> 00:49:19,388
A changeup is when it looks
like it's gonna be a fastball,
712
00:49:19,597 --> 00:49:21,462
but she takes a little off of it.
713
00:49:23,200 --> 00:49:25,361
Strike three! You're out!
714
00:49:28,239 --> 00:49:29,934
Ball four! Take your base.
715
00:49:30,308 --> 00:49:33,072
Come on, somebody hit something.
716
00:49:33,277 --> 00:49:36,337
Next batter, Ahmad Abdul Rahim.
717
00:49:44,455 --> 00:49:46,047
Go!
718
00:49:47,458 --> 00:49:48,720
Safe!
719
00:49:50,728 --> 00:49:52,389
Ahmad.
720
00:49:57,201 --> 00:49:58,828
Garo.
721
00:49:59,603 --> 00:50:02,128
Next up for the Bears,
Toby Whitewood.
722
00:50:02,473 --> 00:50:03,872
Toby.
723
00:50:10,915 --> 00:50:12,644
Ball!
724
00:50:17,221 --> 00:50:19,212
Watch this, Hooper.
725
00:50:19,423 --> 00:50:22,290
The catcher's good.
Just good enough to get in trouble.
726
00:50:27,598 --> 00:50:28,690
Strike one!
727
00:50:29,900 --> 00:50:31,299
Run, run, run!
728
00:50:32,770 --> 00:50:33,737
Safe!
729
00:50:33,938 --> 00:50:35,337
Yes!
730
00:50:37,908 --> 00:50:41,036
All right, way to go, guys. Way to go!
Good hustle!
731
00:50:42,680 --> 00:50:44,807
They're playing ball now, man.
They're playing ball.
732
00:50:53,791 --> 00:50:55,315
Ball four! Take your base.
733
00:50:55,526 --> 00:50:57,824
Come on, guys! Let's hold them!
734
00:50:58,029 --> 00:51:01,328
- Number 28, Tyler Cohen.
- Can't win if they don't score.
735
00:51:05,236 --> 00:51:07,170
Way to go, Miguel!
Good catch, buddy!
736
00:51:07,972 --> 00:51:10,736
Way to go!
We need two more, guys. Two more.
737
00:51:13,477 --> 00:51:14,444
Strike three!
738
00:51:15,112 --> 00:51:16,909
Come on, guys! Two out.
739
00:51:17,114 --> 00:51:19,446
We need one more, Amanda.
Shut them down, honey.
740
00:51:31,395 --> 00:51:33,260
Get under it! Get under it!
741
00:51:35,966 --> 00:51:38,298
Throw it! Throw the ball! Hurry!
742
00:51:46,677 --> 00:51:47,803
Safe!
743
00:51:49,313 --> 00:51:52,476
What the hell is wrong
with you, dipshit?
744
00:51:54,185 --> 00:51:56,244
Come on, guys, gather in.
745
00:52:06,230 --> 00:52:08,994
Garo, that was nice hustle
out there today.
746
00:52:09,567 --> 00:52:12,832
And, Jose, muy bueno, buddy.
747
00:52:13,037 --> 00:52:16,666
Engelberg, you caught a hell
of a game. You all did good today.
748
00:52:16,974 --> 00:52:20,102
Everyone except you,
you booger-eating moron.
749
00:52:20,311 --> 00:52:22,211
Can't you catch one goddamn ball?
750
00:52:22,413 --> 00:52:25,211
- Come on, Tanner.
- Even I could have caught that,
751
00:52:25,416 --> 00:52:26,906
and look at me.
752
00:52:27,685 --> 00:52:29,553
- Can't even move.
- Hey, guys, come on.
753
00:52:29,553 --> 00:52:30,520
- Can't even move.
- Hey, guys, come on.
754
00:52:30,721 --> 00:52:32,814
It's like I told you before,
there's no "l" in team.
755
00:52:33,023 --> 00:52:37,084
- Yeah, but there's an M and an E.
- There should be an F and a U.
756
00:52:37,294 --> 00:52:41,822
Hey, hey. Don't fall apart at the seams
on me now. Come on, guys.
757
00:52:42,733 --> 00:52:44,701
Remember how bad
we sucked two weeks ago?
758
00:52:44,902 --> 00:52:47,268
They smelled that shit up in Fresno.
759
00:52:47,671 --> 00:52:49,901
You almost won today.
760
00:52:50,274 --> 00:52:52,435
Hold your heads up high.
761
00:52:53,444 --> 00:52:54,672
Everybody in.
762
00:52:55,379 --> 00:52:56,846
Let's go.
763
00:52:57,047 --> 00:53:00,210
- Ready. One, two, three.
- Bears!
764
00:53:00,417 --> 00:53:03,909
Good hit. That was a good one.
Choke up on your bat.
765
00:53:04,455 --> 00:53:06,286
About that far, okay?
766
00:53:06,490 --> 00:53:08,617
Put it back on your shoulder.
Back here.
767
00:53:08,826 --> 00:53:11,351
There you go, all right?
768
00:53:13,631 --> 00:53:15,531
Excellent. There you go.
769
00:53:17,868 --> 00:53:21,065
Yes, sir. Good cut, honey.
770
00:53:21,272 --> 00:53:23,433
Last pitch, guys!
771
00:53:35,553 --> 00:53:37,487
All right, guys, let's bring it in!
772
00:53:41,091 --> 00:53:44,891
Sister Sledge, that kid's got
an arm on him. Who is that?
773
00:53:45,095 --> 00:53:46,585
That's Kelly Leak.
774
00:53:46,797 --> 00:53:50,062
Yep, he's a real badass.
775
00:53:52,870 --> 00:53:54,929
I heard he spent two years in juvie.
776
00:53:55,406 --> 00:53:56,964
You don't know how old he is,
do you?
777
00:53:57,174 --> 00:54:00,007
He's in our grade,
but he dates an eighth-grader.
778
00:54:00,211 --> 00:54:02,645
Someone told me he got
a teacher pregnant.
779
00:54:02,846 --> 00:54:05,110
I heard he broke some kid's arm
who owed him money.
780
00:54:05,316 --> 00:54:07,113
Why, I heard he broke
both of his arms.
781
00:54:07,851 --> 00:54:11,014
I heard he puts money under
your pillow when you lose a tooth.
782
00:54:11,222 --> 00:54:15,249
- That's the tooth fairy, you homo.
- Actually, he only broke one arm.
783
00:54:15,459 --> 00:54:17,825
The other was just a minor fracture
at the base of the humerus.
784
00:54:18,028 --> 00:54:20,826
Who cares about that crap.
Can he play?
785
00:54:21,098 --> 00:54:23,362
You kidding? You saw that arm.
786
00:54:26,470 --> 00:54:28,529
I don't know, honey.
787
00:54:28,973 --> 00:54:30,065
I'll be fine.
788
00:54:31,642 --> 00:54:34,805
I don't like the looks of the place.
I mean, look at those creeps.
789
00:54:35,012 --> 00:54:36,673
- I'll be fine. I'm cool.
- You sure?
790
00:54:36,880 --> 00:54:38,438
- Yeah.
- You don't want me to go with you?
791
00:54:38,649 --> 00:54:39,616
No, I'm good.
792
00:54:39,817 --> 00:54:41,614
Listen, don't talk to anybody
but what's-his-ass.
793
00:54:41,819 --> 00:54:43,480
I'll be fine.
794
00:54:45,889 --> 00:54:47,083
Amanda?
795
00:54:47,291 --> 00:54:48,815
- Shut up.
- Okay.
796
00:55:06,143 --> 00:55:09,135
I bet I could do what you just did.
It's easy.
797
00:55:09,346 --> 00:55:11,143
- How much?
- I pull it off,
798
00:55:11,348 --> 00:55:13,509
- you come play for the Bears.
- And if you don't?
799
00:55:14,084 --> 00:55:15,415
Whatever you want.
800
00:55:16,287 --> 00:55:18,016
Deal.
801
00:55:28,098 --> 00:55:31,033
- Well, what happened?
- No deal.
802
00:55:31,468 --> 00:55:33,299
No deal?
803
00:55:34,938 --> 00:55:36,872
I thought you said you
were good at this.
804
00:55:37,074 --> 00:55:39,872
I am. He's better.
805
00:55:41,512 --> 00:55:42,911
See you later.
806
00:55:47,751 --> 00:55:49,218
What does that mean?
807
00:55:49,420 --> 00:55:52,446
"I'll see you later"?
I thought you said he was out.
808
00:55:52,690 --> 00:55:55,716
He is. I just lost the bet, and now
I have to go out with him.
809
00:55:55,959 --> 00:56:00,293
You have to go out with him?
You mean out like "out"?
810
00:56:01,965 --> 00:56:04,729
You're 12.
There ain't no out when you're 12.
811
00:56:04,935 --> 00:56:08,302
Calm down, Boilermaker.
It's just a show with some stupid band.
812
00:56:08,505 --> 00:56:12,168
I'm not a little girl anymore.
I had my period, all right.
813
00:56:12,376 --> 00:56:14,901
Do you want me to have
a stroke or something?
814
00:56:15,112 --> 00:56:17,603
Shut up. I'll be fine.
815
00:56:18,415 --> 00:56:20,713
Well, I'm going
to the concert with you.
816
00:56:20,918 --> 00:56:23,284
Whatever.
It's just some dumb skate band.
817
00:56:23,487 --> 00:56:27,082
- What the hell is a skate band?
- You know, a skate band.
818
00:56:27,291 --> 00:56:28,315
The Bloodfarts.
819
00:56:28,826 --> 00:56:31,590
Bloodfarts. The Bloodfarts?
820
00:56:31,795 --> 00:56:34,889
Oh, I'm going with you.
Bet your ass on that.
821
00:56:35,599 --> 00:56:38,568
No doubt. I'm going with you.
822
00:56:43,273 --> 00:56:44,262
Strike three!
823
00:56:49,313 --> 00:56:50,280
Strike three!
824
00:56:52,282 --> 00:56:54,443
Strike three!
825
00:56:57,121 --> 00:56:59,646
- Way to go, Amanda. Good game.
- Pitched a good game, Amanda.
826
00:56:59,857 --> 00:57:03,554
No shit. Too bad we couldn't
even score one run.
827
00:57:04,928 --> 00:57:07,590
Well, that's okay. We're doing better.
828
00:57:07,798 --> 00:57:09,698
We tied, guys.
829
00:57:09,900 --> 00:57:13,961
I know a tie's a lot like kissing your
sister, as my old coach used to say.
830
00:57:14,171 --> 00:57:16,639
But the way we've been coming
along, it's more like kissing
831
00:57:16,840 --> 00:57:19,274
a really hot stepsister,
or something like that, you know,
832
00:57:19,476 --> 00:57:21,876
that you don't have
so much tied up in.
833
00:57:22,079 --> 00:57:28,507
But anyway, I think... I'm just saying,
pat yourselves on the back.
834
00:57:31,221 --> 00:57:35,453
Stay focused.
I'll catch up with you guys.
835
00:57:35,659 --> 00:57:37,149
Kelly, how you doing?
836
00:57:37,361 --> 00:57:40,125
- Hey, coach.
- I haven't seen you around.
837
00:57:40,330 --> 00:57:42,321
- What have you been up to?
- Nothing.
838
00:57:42,533 --> 00:57:47,095
Wait. I have seen you around. We
haven't even talked since you pulled
839
00:57:47,304 --> 00:57:49,898
that little Evel Knievel stunt
the other day out there, huh?
840
00:57:50,107 --> 00:57:52,166
What's an "Evel Knievel"?
841
00:57:54,645 --> 00:57:58,445
Don't be a smart-ass. I could have
called the cops on you for that.
842
00:57:59,349 --> 00:58:02,716
- Thanks, I'm real scared.
- No, I'm serious.
843
00:58:02,920 --> 00:58:06,583
Vandalizing public property.
Disturbing the peace.
844
00:58:06,790 --> 00:58:09,384
You're too young to be riding
that thing, you know.
845
00:58:10,394 --> 00:58:12,259
You're just a kid.
846
00:58:12,796 --> 00:58:16,960
Kelly, this field, it's for ball players.
It's not for quitters.
847
00:58:17,167 --> 00:58:22,195
If it was for quitters,
it would be your field. But it's not.
848
00:58:22,639 --> 00:58:24,630
I'd call your dad,
if anybody knew where he was.
849
00:58:24,842 --> 00:58:27,606
- Listen, old man...
- Hey, now, you listen to me.
850
00:58:28,345 --> 00:58:30,813
Nobody wants you around here,
all right?
851
00:58:31,181 --> 00:58:32,739
Do you understand?
852
00:58:35,986 --> 00:58:38,614
Do you think people like
seeing your nuts?
853
00:58:53,604 --> 00:58:55,572
Hey, look who it is.
854
00:58:55,772 --> 00:58:59,003
Yeah, it's the Bears' best player.
855
00:59:03,881 --> 00:59:06,145
Hope you're not getting wet!
856
00:59:08,719 --> 00:59:11,745
Nobody picks on him but me!
857
00:59:17,728 --> 00:59:19,423
Let's go! Come on!
858
00:59:26,970 --> 00:59:30,337
Yeah, that's right.
Run away, bitches!
859
00:59:43,053 --> 00:59:44,953
Nobody ever stood up for me before.
860
00:59:45,155 --> 00:59:50,218
Yeah? Maybe if you weren't such
a spaz all the time, I wouldn't have to.
861
00:59:53,764 --> 00:59:57,165
All right, guys,
inside corner of the bag.
862
00:59:59,002 --> 01:00:00,765
Hey, guys...
863
01:00:01,038 --> 01:00:04,269
...let's bring it in.
Come on, to the dugout.
864
01:00:04,474 --> 01:00:06,066
- Everybody to the dugout.
- Buttermaker.
865
01:00:06,276 --> 01:00:08,369
- Yeah.
- Remember that time I played sick,
866
01:00:08,579 --> 01:00:11,343
and mom went to work
and then you busted me?
867
01:00:11,548 --> 01:00:12,810
- And then...
- You guys, sit down!
868
01:00:13,016 --> 01:00:15,348
And then we went to Zuma
and went bodysurfing?
869
01:00:15,552 --> 01:00:17,042
- We should do that again.
- Sit down.
870
01:00:17,254 --> 01:00:19,552
- I got something to talk to you about.
- Mr. Buttermaker.
871
01:00:19,756 --> 01:00:21,155
- Mr. Buttermaker.
- What?
872
01:00:21,358 --> 01:00:23,918
I gotta leave early today.
We're doing leather tanning in art club.
873
01:00:24,127 --> 01:00:25,253
Okay. Oh, another class.
Great. Okay.
874
01:00:27,510 --> 01:00:28,772
All right, guys, listen up.
875
01:00:29,813 --> 01:00:32,407
"To Coach Buttermaker
from league headquarters.
876
01:00:32,616 --> 01:00:35,483
Regarding player safety
and league liability.
877
01:00:35,685 --> 01:00:38,051
A reminder that according
to Regulation 236,
878
01:00:38,255 --> 01:00:42,783
all players must wear a comprehensive
genital defense apparatus."
879
01:00:42,993 --> 01:00:46,588
Now, basically, what that translates to
is that if any of you guys get hurt,
880
01:00:46,796 --> 01:00:49,424
they're going to sue my ass so hard,
they're going to garnish my turds.
881
01:00:49,633 --> 01:00:51,123
So wear these things.
882
01:00:51,334 --> 01:00:53,393
Pass them down, sweetie.
883
01:00:56,206 --> 01:00:58,197
Also, you'll wanna
write your names on them,
884
01:00:58,575 --> 01:01:00,543
because that's how you get crabs.
885
01:01:00,744 --> 01:01:02,939
And trust me, you don't want
to spend your Sunday afternoon
886
01:01:03,146 --> 01:01:05,637
picking through your pumpkin patch
with a little comb.
887
01:01:05,849 --> 01:01:08,409
Give me one.
Gotta protect the family jewels.
888
01:01:09,085 --> 01:01:12,350
Who you kidding? When is
the last time you even saw them?
889
01:01:15,258 --> 01:01:17,351
- Does that make any sense?
- Yeah.
890
01:01:17,560 --> 01:01:20,495
Do you speak Latin?
I'm much better at Latin.
891
01:01:20,697 --> 01:01:22,358
I don't need these.
892
01:01:22,799 --> 01:01:24,892
- Really?
- I'll take it.
893
01:01:25,902 --> 01:01:27,802
All right.
894
01:01:29,939 --> 01:01:32,464
He can throw all right,
but you think he can hit?
895
01:01:32,676 --> 01:01:35,201
- Let's find out.
- Here.
896
01:01:44,187 --> 01:01:46,178
Is that all you got?
897
01:01:48,224 --> 01:01:49,452
Okay.
898
01:01:49,659 --> 01:01:52,127
Got a smart-ass here. Burn it up.
899
01:01:52,329 --> 01:01:54,194
Don't hold back.
900
01:02:34,671 --> 01:02:37,538
Hey, what time you get off?
901
01:02:37,741 --> 01:02:41,370
Engelberg, what kind of diet
lets you eat seven hot dogs?
902
01:02:41,578 --> 01:02:42,977
No buns.
903
01:02:43,179 --> 01:02:46,740
I can have as many
as I want, dipshit.
904
01:02:47,684 --> 01:02:50,915
My dad says the only people
who put ketchup on hot dogs...
905
01:02:51,121 --> 01:02:53,351
...are mental patients...
906
01:02:53,556 --> 01:02:55,353
...and Texans.
907
01:02:59,362 --> 01:03:01,592
Chinese people count with beads.
908
01:03:04,634 --> 01:03:06,864
Could you please remove
your hand from my space?
909
01:03:07,070 --> 01:03:10,130
I think it is clearly defined
by the perimeter of my plate.
910
01:03:10,340 --> 01:03:12,433
Hey, cut it out, poop-face!
911
01:03:12,642 --> 01:03:13,836
Poop-face?
912
01:03:14,043 --> 01:03:15,635
Are you kidding me?
913
01:03:15,845 --> 01:03:18,507
Elmo flips better shit than you.
914
01:03:18,715 --> 01:03:22,014
Well, perhaps you can help me
to broaden my lexicon.
915
01:03:24,120 --> 01:03:25,712
Perhaps.
916
01:03:30,927 --> 01:03:35,330
She don't lie, she don't lie
She don't lie
917
01:03:35,532 --> 01:03:38,194
Cocaine
918
01:04:02,225 --> 01:04:03,988
Hey, coach.
919
01:04:21,711 --> 01:04:22,939
Out!
920
01:05:16,766 --> 01:05:18,700
Three feet!
He missed it by three feet!
921
01:05:18,902 --> 01:05:22,269
Three feet! Three feet!
Oh, you want to see spit?
922
01:05:22,472 --> 01:05:24,167
Yeah! Oh, that's nice.
923
01:05:24,374 --> 01:05:28,140
There's spit, okay?
And what are you on? I want some.
924
01:05:33,416 --> 01:05:34,883
Out!
925
01:05:35,852 --> 01:05:38,343
One, two, three! Angels!
926
01:06:46,522 --> 01:06:47,989
Safe!
927
01:07:05,575 --> 01:07:07,008
Come on, get out of the way.
928
01:07:07,510 --> 01:07:08,943
Damn it!
929
01:07:09,145 --> 01:07:10,112
Let go of me!
930
01:07:10,313 --> 01:07:11,837
Watch it, asshole.
931
01:07:12,048 --> 01:07:13,538
I said watch it!
932
01:07:13,750 --> 01:07:15,149
Let go of me!
933
01:07:15,351 --> 01:07:17,114
Let me tell you something...
Hey!
934
01:07:17,320 --> 01:07:20,448
Put me down! Put me down!
935
01:07:20,857 --> 01:07:22,722
Put me down! Damn it.
936
01:07:25,595 --> 01:07:28,621
- Thank you.
- God bless you, François.
937
01:07:28,831 --> 01:07:32,927
Sorry I'm late, but I've been
up to my ears in rat pellets all day.
938
01:07:33,836 --> 01:07:35,133
That's okay.
939
01:07:35,338 --> 01:07:36,600
Thank you for coming.
940
01:07:37,173 --> 01:07:38,902
No sweat.
941
01:07:39,876 --> 01:07:41,741
I got you something.
942
01:07:44,380 --> 01:07:45,813
Infused vinegars.
943
01:07:46,783 --> 01:07:50,241
Don't ask me where I find the time,
but I made them myself.
944
01:07:50,453 --> 01:07:52,045
Basil and tarragon,
945
01:07:52,255 --> 01:07:55,315
red pepper and oregano.
946
01:07:57,527 --> 01:07:59,392
Shiso
947
01:07:59,595 --> 01:08:01,790
and rice vinegar.
948
01:08:01,998 --> 01:08:03,397
It's...
949
01:08:04,200 --> 01:08:06,760
...great on chicken.
950
01:08:09,072 --> 01:08:11,438
Yeah, well, I got a spastic colon,
951
01:08:11,641 --> 01:08:14,109
but I'll give it a shot.
952
01:08:14,310 --> 01:08:18,041
Buttermaker,
you deserve a celebration.
953
01:08:18,247 --> 01:08:21,045
What you have done for Toby
and those children,
954
01:08:21,250 --> 01:08:23,343
it is nothing short of miraculous.
955
01:08:23,553 --> 01:08:26,852
I mean, we are one game away
from the championships.
956
01:08:27,056 --> 01:08:28,819
It's...
957
01:08:29,025 --> 01:08:31,391
...unbelievable. It's...
958
01:08:31,594 --> 01:08:34,085
Congratulations. Thank you.
959
01:08:34,297 --> 01:08:36,162
Well, the kids are great.
They really are.
960
01:08:36,365 --> 01:08:38,799
So, it's, you know, kind of their deal.
961
01:08:39,001 --> 01:08:40,263
You know, I have to admit that
962
01:08:40,470 --> 01:08:43,439
while growing up,
I was never much for sports,
963
01:08:43,639 --> 01:08:45,539
or the sports-type, really.
964
01:08:45,742 --> 01:08:48,734
But since I've been watching you
turn the team around,
965
01:08:48,945 --> 01:08:52,346
I have been thinking a lot about you.
966
01:08:54,650 --> 01:08:56,811
I have that effect on women.
967
01:08:57,553 --> 01:08:59,953
- Really.
- Yeah.
968
01:09:00,857 --> 01:09:03,553
Well, I haven't paid for sex in years.
969
01:09:04,927 --> 01:09:07,452
I think a lot of it has to do
970
01:09:07,663 --> 01:09:10,097
with getting older and...
971
01:09:10,299 --> 01:09:13,598
...you know,
being more distinguished.
972
01:09:13,803 --> 01:09:19,105
I was thinking more along the lines
of the dangerous type.
973
01:09:19,308 --> 01:09:22,106
What you hear about...
974
01:09:22,311 --> 01:09:24,142
...the bad boy,
975
01:09:24,347 --> 01:09:26,941
the sexy scumbag,
976
01:09:27,150 --> 01:09:29,948
the serial killer
who gets married in prison.
977
01:09:30,153 --> 01:09:34,112
I have never felt like that.
978
01:09:35,124 --> 01:09:36,557
Until I met you.
979
01:09:38,728 --> 01:09:41,196
Well, thanks.
980
01:09:54,243 --> 01:09:55,369
Mr. Buttermaker.
981
01:09:56,779 --> 01:09:58,076
What do you say, Whitewood?
982
01:09:59,549 --> 01:10:00,777
What are doing here?
983
01:10:04,921 --> 01:10:08,015
Listen, kid. I...
984
01:10:08,457 --> 01:10:10,015
There's something...
985
01:10:11,861 --> 01:10:15,160
...that you need to do,
and that's oil your mitt all the time.
986
01:10:15,364 --> 01:10:18,197
So I came by to check
and make sure you oil your mitt.
987
01:10:19,168 --> 01:10:20,795
Really?
988
01:10:21,003 --> 01:10:23,062
Oh, yeah, I'm always watching.
989
01:10:23,873 --> 01:10:26,000
Okay, I'll go get it.
990
01:10:26,209 --> 01:10:28,575
- Be right back.
- Good deal.
991
01:10:33,916 --> 01:10:35,383
Look at you.
992
01:10:35,585 --> 01:10:36,552
Gorgeous.
993
01:10:36,752 --> 01:10:39,152
- Gorgeous.
- I don't know, it's a little...
994
01:10:39,355 --> 01:10:40,913
Looking good.
995
01:10:41,424 --> 01:10:44,825
- Hey.
- What, you joined the circus?
996
01:10:45,027 --> 01:10:46,961
- Tanner!
- Where's the toilet?
997
01:10:47,163 --> 01:10:48,460
I gotta pinch a mean one.
998
01:10:48,664 --> 01:10:50,325
Engelberg! These are my friends!
999
01:10:50,533 --> 01:10:54,333
It all right, sweetie. I got a little
butterball just like him at home.
1000
01:10:54,537 --> 01:10:57,165
Down the hall
and to the left, fatty.
1001
01:10:58,074 --> 01:10:59,939
What are you jerk-offs doing here?
1002
01:11:00,142 --> 01:11:01,473
The Giants beat the White Sox.
1003
01:11:01,677 --> 01:11:04,111
If we beat the Giants,
we're in the championship.
1004
01:11:04,313 --> 01:11:06,747
- Really?
- Yeah, we're celebrating.
1005
01:11:06,949 --> 01:11:09,782
So take off the hooker suit,
let's go.
1006
01:11:09,986 --> 01:11:11,317
Come on.
1007
01:11:12,021 --> 01:11:13,989
I don't have to tell you
who we play for the pennant
1008
01:11:14,190 --> 01:11:16,090
when we blow past
these Giants today.
1009
01:11:16,292 --> 01:11:18,157
Right now, we're the hottest team
in the league.
1010
01:11:18,361 --> 01:11:19,623
What does that mean
for the Giants?
1011
01:11:19,829 --> 01:11:22,127
Bad news for the Giants!
1012
01:11:22,531 --> 01:11:25,364
- Here we go. One, two, three!
- Break!
1013
01:11:25,568 --> 01:11:27,365
Hey, Kelly, hang on.
1014
01:11:27,570 --> 01:11:30,061
Listen, I want you to be like
a vacuum cleaner out there today.
1015
01:11:30,273 --> 01:11:32,002
Anything even close to you,
you suck it up.
1016
01:11:32,208 --> 01:11:33,903
These boys are weak.
I don't want to blow it.
1017
01:11:34,110 --> 01:11:37,011
We're knocking on the door,
understand? Come on, let's go!
1018
01:11:37,213 --> 01:11:39,181
All right, guys, let's go.
1019
01:11:47,523 --> 01:11:49,855
Way to go, Kelly!
Way to go, buddy!
1020
01:11:50,059 --> 01:11:52,653
Way to hustle. Way to hustle.
1021
01:11:56,499 --> 01:11:58,399
Strike three!
1022
01:12:08,411 --> 01:12:10,276
I got it! I got it!
1023
01:12:15,351 --> 01:12:17,148
Hey, I told you I got it.
1024
01:12:17,353 --> 01:12:20,652
Yeah, sorry.
1025
01:12:20,856 --> 01:12:23,222
Way to go! Tanner.
1026
01:12:23,426 --> 01:12:24,825
Good job, buddy. Good job.
1027
01:12:25,027 --> 01:12:26,392
I ain't doing it no more.
1028
01:12:26,595 --> 01:12:30,531
Hey, hey, hey. Now's not the time
to punk out, okay? Understand me?
1029
01:12:30,733 --> 01:12:33,463
You do what I told you, you hear me?
Do what I told you.
1030
01:12:33,669 --> 01:12:36,399
You are not going to screw this up
for me. Understand?
1031
01:12:36,605 --> 01:12:38,004
Understand?
1032
01:12:38,207 --> 01:12:40,107
Go get your bat. You're up.
1033
01:12:40,309 --> 01:12:42,402
Otherwise, why are you here?
1034
01:12:44,046 --> 01:12:47,812
Leading off for the Bears,
Kelly Leak.
1035
01:12:55,491 --> 01:12:57,584
Strike one!
1036
01:12:57,793 --> 01:12:59,351
Come on, Kelly!
1037
01:13:02,665 --> 01:13:04,826
- Strike two!
- He could have hit that.
1038
01:13:05,034 --> 01:13:06,968
Time! Time-out.
1039
01:13:07,403 --> 01:13:08,734
Time!
1040
01:13:08,938 --> 01:13:10,166
Kelly, come here.
1041
01:13:10,373 --> 01:13:11,840
Come here.
1042
01:13:12,041 --> 01:13:14,202
Come here. What, are you playing
mind games with me now?
1043
01:13:14,410 --> 01:13:16,037
We're that close
to the championship.
1044
01:13:16,245 --> 01:13:18,304
You got daddy issues or something?
Hit the goddamn ball.
1045
01:13:18,514 --> 01:13:20,379
Now get in there. Come on.
1046
01:13:35,531 --> 01:13:37,089
Yeah!
1047
01:13:41,604 --> 01:13:44,732
It's a home run for Kelly Leak.
1048
01:13:44,940 --> 01:13:47,033
The Bears win 2-1.
1049
01:13:47,643 --> 01:13:51,409
The Bears advance to the finals
this Saturday against the Yankees.
1050
01:14:02,024 --> 01:14:05,323
Way to go, Kelly!
We're going to the championship!
1051
01:14:16,539 --> 01:14:18,166
See you there.
1052
01:14:22,311 --> 01:14:23,539
It's cold.
1053
01:14:23,746 --> 01:14:26,772
It's supposed to be cold.
Just keep your arm in it.
1054
01:14:28,117 --> 01:14:31,416
Hey, Buttermaker,
Mom's gonna be here tomorrow.
1055
01:14:31,620 --> 01:14:32,678
Perfect.
1056
01:14:32,888 --> 01:14:34,617
You know, I was thinking,
maybe afterwards,
1057
01:14:34,824 --> 01:14:38,282
we can go to Tony Roma's
for the Carolina Honeys, right?
1058
01:14:39,028 --> 01:14:40,359
Right.
1059
01:14:40,563 --> 01:14:43,930
Like I'm gonna take you little shits
to a fancy place like Tony Roma's.
1060
01:14:44,133 --> 01:14:47,830
- Do you think I'm made out of money?
- Fine. Just us, then.
1061
01:14:49,638 --> 01:14:52,129
Amanda, you really...
1062
01:14:52,341 --> 01:14:54,400
You got to quit trying
to make me daddy, because...
1063
01:14:54,610 --> 01:14:56,009
I didn't say that.
1064
01:14:56,212 --> 01:14:57,577
Just friends.
1065
01:14:57,780 --> 01:14:59,543
You know, we can hang out.
1066
01:14:59,748 --> 01:15:01,306
We can go to Zuma.
1067
01:15:02,118 --> 01:15:04,245
Go bodysurfing.
1068
01:15:04,587 --> 01:15:06,384
Why are you talking about
bodysurfing?
1069
01:15:06,589 --> 01:15:08,989
Remember when I played sick,
and we went to Zuma?
1070
01:15:10,192 --> 01:15:11,557
Don't you remember?
1071
01:15:12,128 --> 01:15:14,062
No, I don't remember that.
1072
01:15:14,263 --> 01:15:16,595
I don't know
what you're talking about.
1073
01:15:17,500 --> 01:15:21,493
But, you know, I was always drunk
in those days, so I forgot a lot of shit.
1074
01:15:22,338 --> 01:15:23,999
Look, the fact of the matter is...
1075
01:15:26,942 --> 01:15:29,137
You don't have any business
hanging out with me.
1076
01:15:29,345 --> 01:15:32,940
- I'm a damn loser, and you know it.
- No, you're not. Not to me.
1077
01:15:33,149 --> 01:15:35,379
Come on, Amanda.
1078
01:15:35,584 --> 01:15:36,983
I'm a drunk.
1079
01:15:37,186 --> 01:15:38,619
You said it yourself.
1080
01:15:38,821 --> 01:15:42,621
I make a living killing rats
to pay rent on a trailer.
1081
01:15:43,559 --> 01:15:45,424
In Sun Valley.
1082
01:15:46,762 --> 01:15:48,821
I'm a washout.
1083
01:15:51,500 --> 01:15:53,730
- Come on, Buttermaker...
- Just stop it!
1084
01:15:55,304 --> 01:15:57,204
Don't you think if I wanted
to play house with you,
1085
01:15:57,406 --> 01:16:00,307
I might have called you sometime in
the last three years? But I didn't, did I?
1086
01:16:00,509 --> 01:16:02,238
- You know what...?
- Just stop it!
1087
01:16:02,444 --> 01:16:05,413
You're here for one reason, and that
reason is sitting in that ice right now.
1088
01:16:05,614 --> 01:16:08,082
Just leave it at that, will you?
1089
01:16:08,851 --> 01:16:11,012
I know why I'm here.
1090
01:16:13,222 --> 01:16:15,588
Just felt sorry for you, that's all.
1091
01:16:49,825 --> 01:16:52,055
I'm just saying,
keep your glove oiled.
1092
01:16:52,261 --> 01:16:55,560
I mean, he came over
to check mine.
1093
01:16:55,764 --> 01:16:57,459
- Really?
- Yeah.
1094
01:16:58,234 --> 01:17:00,361
- Hey.
- Don't talk to me.
1095
01:17:00,569 --> 01:17:02,594
I'm only here for them.
1096
01:17:08,344 --> 01:17:09,868
Toby.
1097
01:17:12,114 --> 01:17:14,947
- Yo, what the hell?
- What?
1098
01:17:15,150 --> 01:17:17,880
- Something wrong?
- You would know, dickweed.
1099
01:17:18,087 --> 01:17:20,954
- What did you say?
- You heard me.
1100
01:17:22,992 --> 01:17:24,323
Hey, what's up with you guys?
1101
01:17:24,526 --> 01:17:25,925
- He's a ball-hog!
- Yeah?
1102
01:17:26,128 --> 01:17:28,392
Well, that ball-hog
won your last game.
1103
01:17:28,597 --> 01:17:30,292
So calm your ass down.
1104
01:17:30,499 --> 01:17:33,935
- Stay out of it, Engelberg!
- Speak for yourself, shorty.
1105
01:17:34,136 --> 01:17:35,330
Taking sides, Slim-Fast?
1106
01:17:35,537 --> 01:17:36,629
You got a problem, Tanner?
1107
01:17:36,839 --> 01:17:40,206
No, you do. It's called me
putting a foot up your ass.
1108
01:17:40,409 --> 01:17:42,570
Guys, come on!
1109
01:17:44,713 --> 01:17:46,874
- Break it up!
- Hey!
1110
01:17:47,816 --> 01:17:48,783
Hey!
1111
01:17:48,984 --> 01:17:51,043
- Break it up!
- Break it up!
1112
01:17:51,253 --> 01:17:52,379
Come on, come on, come on.
1113
01:17:52,588 --> 01:17:54,385
Get up, get up.
1114
01:17:54,590 --> 01:17:56,251
Get up!
1115
01:17:56,458 --> 01:17:58,050
Now, stand still and listen to me.
1116
01:17:58,260 --> 01:18:00,751
I said stop it. Okay?
1117
01:18:03,432 --> 01:18:04,558
Now, what the hell is going on?
1118
01:18:04,767 --> 01:18:06,325
He's a dick.
He thinks he's better than us.
1119
01:18:06,535 --> 01:18:08,366
- Who?
- Him.
1120
01:18:08,904 --> 01:18:11,600
He is. How do you think
we got this far?
1121
01:18:11,807 --> 01:18:13,775
Wasn't your playing,
that's for sure.
1122
01:18:13,976 --> 01:18:15,375
I don't need this crap, I'm out.
1123
01:18:15,577 --> 01:18:16,601
- Come here.
- No, stop.
1124
01:18:16,812 --> 01:18:20,407
You stand still. Stop it! Stop it!
1125
01:18:20,616 --> 01:18:22,083
I said stop it!
1126
01:18:26,355 --> 01:18:27,947
Now, I told him to cover for you.
1127
01:18:28,157 --> 01:18:30,557
So if you're going to yell at somebody,
you yell at me, okay?
1128
01:18:30,759 --> 01:18:33,125
- You did?
- Yeah, I did.
1129
01:18:33,329 --> 01:18:34,887
You wanna win, right?
1130
01:18:35,097 --> 01:18:36,564
Isn't that what you guys
wanna do, win?
1131
01:18:38,934 --> 01:18:41,732
Now, quit acting like a bunch
of damn babies.
1132
01:18:42,604 --> 01:18:44,333
Because we got a chance.
1133
01:18:46,308 --> 01:18:48,401
Pick your gloves up.
1134
01:18:48,610 --> 01:18:50,635
We got a championship to win.
1135
01:18:51,847 --> 01:18:53,712
The entire season
1136
01:18:53,916 --> 01:18:55,907
and everything we've worked for
comes down
1137
01:18:56,118 --> 01:18:58,245
to the next six innings
that you play.
1138
01:18:59,254 --> 01:19:02,587
How you do,
and the result of that effort,
1139
01:19:02,791 --> 01:19:04,622
is gonna have a big bearing
1140
01:19:04,827 --> 01:19:08,092
on how you feel about yourself
in the next year.
1141
01:19:08,297 --> 01:19:11,994
You gonna go through the world
seeing yourself as a winner...
1142
01:19:12,668 --> 01:19:14,533
...or a loser?
1143
01:19:15,371 --> 01:19:18,636
Because believe me,
being a winner is just...
1144
01:19:18,841 --> 01:19:21,469
Is just...
I don't know, is just better.
1145
01:19:22,478 --> 01:19:24,969
The way I see it, that trophy up there
has got your name on it.
1146
01:19:25,180 --> 01:19:29,276
And those guys over there
are trying to steal it from you.
1147
01:19:29,485 --> 01:19:31,919
- Whose trophy is it, Danny?
- Ours, coach.
1148
01:19:33,355 --> 01:19:35,619
Whose name is on that trophy,
Sanchez?
1149
01:19:35,824 --> 01:19:36,791
Yankees?
1150
01:19:36,992 --> 01:19:38,653
Take a good long look
at your opponents.
1151
01:19:38,861 --> 01:19:41,329
Do they look like champions?
1152
01:19:42,097 --> 01:19:44,224
Not for me to say.
1153
01:19:45,567 --> 01:19:46,864
But no, they don't.
1154
01:19:47,870 --> 01:19:49,337
You're a great team,
1155
01:19:49,538 --> 01:19:52,405
it's been a great season,
but it's not over yet.
1156
01:19:53,242 --> 01:19:55,608
Let's go finish it, huh?
One, two, three!
1157
01:19:55,811 --> 01:19:57,608
Yankees!
1158
01:19:58,747 --> 01:19:59,941
All right, let's go, guys.
1159
01:20:00,149 --> 01:20:01,480
One, two, three!
1160
01:20:01,683 --> 01:20:03,514
Bears!
1161
01:20:04,420 --> 01:20:07,116
Hustle up, guys. Let's go get them.
1162
01:20:13,662 --> 01:20:19,362
B- E-A-R-S! Go, Bears! Go, Bears!
1163
01:20:20,602 --> 01:20:21,864
Go, Toby!
1164
01:20:22,070 --> 01:20:26,734
Now batting for the Yankees,
number 10, Jimmy Wilkins.
1165
01:20:29,344 --> 01:20:30,811
Strike one!
1166
01:20:31,013 --> 01:20:32,708
All right! All right, Amanda!
1167
01:20:33,248 --> 01:20:34,909
Way to go, honey.
1168
01:20:42,758 --> 01:20:44,248
- Safe!
- Way to go, Jimmy! .
1169
01:20:44,460 --> 01:20:45,552
Good hustle.
1170
01:20:45,928 --> 01:20:48,658
That's pretty good, guys.
Did you see that? Damn near got him.
1171
01:20:48,864 --> 01:20:50,923
Way to get down the line.
1172
01:20:51,533 --> 01:20:54,331
If it wasn't for Kelly and that chick,
you guys wouldn't even be here.
1173
01:20:54,536 --> 01:20:57,096
- Excuse me?
- You heard me.
1174
01:20:57,306 --> 01:21:00,503
- None of you can play worth shit.
- Oh, yeah?
1175
01:21:00,709 --> 01:21:04,372
Yeah. What are you going
to do about it, Oreo?
1176
01:21:04,580 --> 01:21:08,516
Now batting, number 9,
Joey Bullock.
1177
01:21:11,386 --> 01:21:13,115
There it is!
1178
01:21:14,389 --> 01:21:15,356
Let's go, let's go!
1179
01:21:15,557 --> 01:21:17,218
Take third! Take third!
1180
01:21:21,430 --> 01:21:23,159
Safe!
1181
01:21:31,507 --> 01:21:34,908
Amanda,
your training bra's too tight!
1182
01:21:38,280 --> 01:21:40,441
Strike three!
1183
01:21:40,983 --> 01:21:45,716
We got one, we got two,
pitch this one out! Easy out.
1184
01:21:54,730 --> 01:21:56,857
- Ball.
- Go, go, go!
1185
01:21:59,668 --> 01:22:00,794
Safe!
1186
01:22:01,003 --> 01:22:03,130
You okay? Come on, get up.
1187
01:22:03,338 --> 01:22:04,305
Come on.
1188
01:22:04,506 --> 01:22:06,133
All right!
1189
01:22:07,643 --> 01:22:11,340
- You okay, sweetie?
- Here's what I'm gonna do, cracker.
1190
01:22:14,616 --> 01:22:16,516
Hey, get back in the dugout.
Hey!
1191
01:22:22,658 --> 01:22:25,525
- Break it up!
- Break it up, guys. Come on!
1192
01:22:27,529 --> 01:22:28,996
See you, Mr. Shitty!
1193
01:22:34,336 --> 01:22:35,894
Damn right, loser!
1194
01:22:36,104 --> 01:22:37,230
- Get off him!
- Get off of me!
1195
01:22:37,439 --> 01:22:40,897
- Get behind the plate. Come on.
- Get back. Get back.
1196
01:22:42,678 --> 01:22:44,475
Back on the field!
1197
01:22:46,582 --> 01:22:48,948
- Get out there!
- You guys are a bunch of punks.
1198
01:22:49,151 --> 01:22:50,516
Is this what you teach them?
1199
01:22:50,719 --> 01:22:52,846
You bowl over little girls like that?
Is that what you do?
1200
01:22:53,055 --> 01:22:54,955
It's called baseball,
or maybe you forgot.
1201
01:22:55,157 --> 01:22:57,625
Don't talk about fair play
when your kids are throwing punches.
1202
01:22:57,826 --> 01:23:00,294
It's horseshit baseball, and you know it!
So you watch them, okay?
1203
01:23:00,495 --> 01:23:03,225
You ought to take a good look
at yourself, you has-been.
1204
01:23:03,432 --> 01:23:06,458
Traded it all in for booze and broads,
you're disgusting.
1205
01:23:06,668 --> 01:23:08,192
- What did you say?
- You can't hear me?
1206
01:23:08,403 --> 01:23:10,394
Say it again! Say it again!
1207
01:23:11,273 --> 01:23:12,763
Get back to your dugout,
you crybaby!
1208
01:23:12,975 --> 01:23:14,670
Listen to you, crybaby.
1209
01:23:14,876 --> 01:23:17,174
- Get to your drug-out, you...
- Buttermaker, dugout!
1210
01:23:17,379 --> 01:23:19,244
Sorry, chief. Sorry.
1211
01:23:19,448 --> 01:23:21,609
You want to play ball, Grape-Nuts?
Let's play!
1212
01:23:21,817 --> 01:23:23,216
All right?
1213
01:23:23,418 --> 01:23:24,851
Piece of shit.
1214
01:23:25,287 --> 01:23:28,381
- Play ball!
- Cream it, Whitewood!
1215
01:23:28,857 --> 01:23:30,051
Come on, Whitewood.
1216
01:23:30,459 --> 01:23:32,324
Come on, buddy. Get a piece of it.
1217
01:23:39,635 --> 01:23:41,159
Come on, Joe.
1218
01:23:41,536 --> 01:23:43,333
You're better than that, son.
1219
01:23:43,538 --> 01:23:46,302
- Good job, Toby.
- Thanks.
1220
01:23:46,508 --> 01:23:47,702
I would've tagged you out,
1221
01:23:47,909 --> 01:23:50,935
but I was afraid your mom
would've sued the ball.
1222
01:23:51,146 --> 01:23:53,137
Let's go, Abdul. Let's go, buddy.
1223
01:23:53,348 --> 01:23:54,337
Keep it going.
1224
01:23:54,549 --> 01:23:56,278
Ahmad... Is it Abdul or Ahmad?
1225
01:23:56,485 --> 01:23:57,918
- Ahmad.
- Whatever it is.
1226
01:23:58,120 --> 01:24:01,180
Ahmad, let's keep it going, buddy!
Way to go!
1227
01:24:08,730 --> 01:24:09,697
Joey!
1228
01:24:10,132 --> 01:24:12,100
Hey, that was your play!
That was your play.
1229
01:24:12,300 --> 01:24:15,599
Get your ass over there.
Pull your head out, son.
1230
01:24:16,071 --> 01:24:17,834
Hey, Garo, come here.
1231
01:24:18,440 --> 01:24:21,102
Listen, you hit lefty, so he's gonna
pitch you in tight, all right?
1232
01:24:21,309 --> 01:24:23,038
So I want you to lean into it
and take the hit.
1233
01:24:23,245 --> 01:24:24,303
I can't.
1234
01:24:24,513 --> 01:24:27,346
See, here's the thing. If you get on,
we're loaded, and Kelly is up next.
1235
01:24:27,549 --> 01:24:30,109
- Now, come on. Let's do it.
- I just want to hit the ball.
1236
01:24:30,318 --> 01:24:32,252
Well, sometimes it's better
if the ball hits you.
1237
01:24:32,454 --> 01:24:34,945
It's called taking one for the team.
Now, let's go. Come on, Garo!
1238
01:24:35,157 --> 01:24:36,419
Let's go, buddy!
1239
01:24:36,625 --> 01:24:37,683
Be alert, guys!
1240
01:24:37,893 --> 01:24:39,520
Now batting from the left side
of the plate,
1241
01:24:39,728 --> 01:24:42,595
number 10, Garo Daragebrigadian.
1242
01:24:51,506 --> 01:24:53,064
Ball! Take your base.
1243
01:24:53,275 --> 01:24:56,073
That's the way, buddy! That's what
I'm talking about, right there.
1244
01:24:56,278 --> 01:24:59,304
That's what I'm talking about.
Way to take it, buddy.
1245
01:25:02,050 --> 01:25:03,278
Next batter for the Bears,
1246
01:25:03,485 --> 01:25:05,248
- number 5, Kelly Leak.
- Come on, Kelly!
1247
01:25:05,854 --> 01:25:06,912
Kick some ass!
1248
01:25:10,692 --> 01:25:11,750
Hey, Buttocks!
1249
01:25:13,562 --> 01:25:16,554
- Watch this.
- Yeah.
1250
01:25:39,121 --> 01:25:40,884
What are you guys doing?
1251
01:25:46,294 --> 01:25:49,058
- Strike two!
- That's okay, Joey.
1252
01:25:49,264 --> 01:25:52,791
It's all right. Focus.
Just relax. Relax!
1253
01:25:53,001 --> 01:25:54,866
Your old man help you pee too?
1254
01:25:55,403 --> 01:25:56,836
"Shake it a little more, Joey.
1255
01:25:57,038 --> 01:25:59,802
Don't want to get any stains
on your underwear."
1256
01:26:00,008 --> 01:26:01,305
Keep talking, fatty.
1257
01:26:01,510 --> 01:26:02,909
Whatever.
1258
01:26:06,381 --> 01:26:07,541
God!
1259
01:26:07,749 --> 01:26:09,114
See you later, Joey.
1260
01:26:09,317 --> 01:26:11,012
Have a nice time on the bench.
1261
01:26:11,219 --> 01:26:13,744
Now batting, number 3.
1262
01:26:19,628 --> 01:26:21,186
Go, baby! Go, baby! Go, baby!
1263
01:26:21,396 --> 01:26:23,523
Watch it, watch it. Go! Yes!
1264
01:26:23,732 --> 01:26:25,700
Yes! Yes!
1265
01:26:26,735 --> 01:26:28,396
Get out there!
That's how you do it!
1266
01:26:30,605 --> 01:26:32,436
Hey, Buttermaker!
1267
01:26:39,748 --> 01:26:41,238
Time!
1268
01:26:43,084 --> 01:26:44,278
What the hell is wrong with you?
1269
01:26:44,486 --> 01:26:46,579
Why don't you
just put a bow on it, huh?
1270
01:26:46,788 --> 01:26:48,722
It's my arm. It's killing me.
1271
01:26:48,924 --> 01:26:50,221
Don't wanna hear it.
Want Toby in?
1272
01:26:50,425 --> 01:26:52,017
- No, I don't.
- Yeah, you want to win?
1273
01:26:52,227 --> 01:26:53,455
- Yeah, I do.
- Yeah?
1274
01:26:53,662 --> 01:26:54,959
- Yeah.
- Then get it together.
1275
01:26:55,163 --> 01:26:56,892
Number 12, Mike Van Horn.
1276
01:27:02,604 --> 01:27:03,628
Safe!
1277
01:27:04,039 --> 01:27:05,700
Good hustle, Van Horn!
Way to beat it out!
1278
01:27:05,907 --> 01:27:10,037
What in the hell are you doing?
This is not T-ball!
1279
01:27:10,245 --> 01:27:13,146
You guys watching that?
Let's go, let's go. Good job.
1280
01:27:13,348 --> 01:27:14,315
Jesus Christ.
1281
01:27:14,516 --> 01:27:17,974
Number 14,
left fielder, Jeff Wong.
1282
01:27:25,360 --> 01:27:27,123
Fair ball!
1283
01:27:32,601 --> 01:27:33,568
Safe!
1284
01:27:33,768 --> 01:27:36,066
Wait. Whoa.
Hey, hey, hey ump.
1285
01:27:36,271 --> 01:27:38,296
What are you talking about?
He got it.
1286
01:27:38,506 --> 01:27:40,371
The throw was here on time.
That was stupid!
1287
01:27:40,575 --> 01:27:41,735
What, are you Helen Keller?
1288
01:27:41,943 --> 01:27:43,171
He was under the tag, coach.
1289
01:27:43,378 --> 01:27:45,642
Butterballs, stay in your dugout!
1290
01:27:45,847 --> 01:27:48,281
Keep your eyes peeled, man.
It's your job.
1291
01:27:48,483 --> 01:27:52,419
Stop embarrassing yourself,
crybaby.
1292
01:27:52,621 --> 01:27:54,418
It's a good call, ump. Very good call.
1293
01:27:57,425 --> 01:27:58,619
Garo, that was perfect last time.
1294
01:27:58,827 --> 01:28:01,295
Do the same thing. Lean in,
just get on base. Kelly's up next.
1295
01:28:01,496 --> 01:28:03,657
Why can't I just hit the ball
like everyone else?
1296
01:28:03,865 --> 01:28:05,492
Because that's selfish.
Think about the team.
1297
01:28:05,700 --> 01:28:07,895
I know it stings a little,
but it'll be worth it. Come on.
1298
01:28:08,103 --> 01:28:09,434
Next up for the Bears...
1299
01:28:09,638 --> 01:28:11,629
- Let's go Garo!
...Garo Daragebrigadian.
1300
01:28:12,007 --> 01:28:13,770
Let's go, buddy.
1301
01:28:26,521 --> 01:28:28,011
You got this guy, Joey!
1302
01:28:32,861 --> 01:28:36,888
- Out.
- What in hell are you doing out there?
1303
01:28:37,098 --> 01:28:38,531
Get in here!
1304
01:28:38,733 --> 01:28:40,997
Ump, time! Time.
1305
01:28:41,303 --> 01:28:42,930
What the hell
is the matter with you, kid?
1306
01:28:43,138 --> 01:28:45,800
What's the matter with all of you?
1307
01:28:46,007 --> 01:28:47,497
"My arm hurts."
1308
01:28:47,709 --> 01:28:50,371
"Why can't I hit away
like the other kids?"
1309
01:28:51,079 --> 01:28:54,139
Do you remember what it was like?
The first game, they laughed at us.
1310
01:28:54,349 --> 01:28:55,976
Now we got their backs
up against the wall,
1311
01:28:56,184 --> 01:28:59,483
they're scared of us, and you want
to give up. Is that the deal?
1312
01:28:59,688 --> 01:29:02,213
I thought you wanted to win.
I thought you wanted to be champions.
1313
01:29:02,424 --> 01:29:04,289
Well, do you?
1314
01:29:04,492 --> 01:29:06,050
Do you?!
1315
01:29:19,641 --> 01:29:21,108
Look...
1316
01:29:24,279 --> 01:29:27,077
You're up next, Kelly.
Come on, let's go.
1317
01:29:28,116 --> 01:29:29,811
Let's play ball.
1318
01:29:30,018 --> 01:29:32,043
Now batting, number 5,
Kelly Leak.
1319
01:29:32,253 --> 01:29:33,413
Go, Joey.
1320
01:29:53,575 --> 01:29:54,940
Catcher, Mike Engelberg.
1321
01:29:55,143 --> 01:29:57,134
Hi, Joey.
1322
01:29:59,280 --> 01:30:00,440
Kiss my ass.
1323
01:30:01,249 --> 01:30:02,477
Time.
1324
01:30:04,953 --> 01:30:07,285
Here comes daddy.
1325
01:30:13,828 --> 01:30:15,591
How you doing?
1326
01:30:15,797 --> 01:30:17,094
- Fine.
- All right.
1327
01:30:17,298 --> 01:30:19,630
The way this guy is hitting,
and the way you're pitching today,
1328
01:30:19,834 --> 01:30:21,131
I think maybe we ought to walk him.
1329
01:30:21,336 --> 01:30:23,600
Next batter's an easy out.
1330
01:30:23,805 --> 01:30:24,965
But I can take him.
1331
01:30:25,173 --> 01:30:26,970
I know you can.
1332
01:30:27,175 --> 01:30:28,665
- Come on, Dad.
- Hey.
1333
01:30:29,177 --> 01:30:31,577
Do as you're told. Come on.
1334
01:30:31,780 --> 01:30:33,509
Let's get them. Let's go!
1335
01:30:47,762 --> 01:30:50,390
Hey, hey!
What was that?
1336
01:30:50,598 --> 01:30:52,395
You tried to hit him.
1337
01:30:52,734 --> 01:30:54,964
- Did you try to hit him?
- No, it just got away from me.
1338
01:30:55,170 --> 01:30:57,263
That's bullshit, Joey!
1339
01:30:58,173 --> 01:31:00,505
Don't you ever throw at a batter!
Never ever throw at a batter!
1340
01:31:00,708 --> 01:31:04,303
You understand me?
You never do that! Never do that.
1341
01:31:05,980 --> 01:31:07,038
Get up.
1342
01:31:08,650 --> 01:31:10,379
You could have hurt him.
1343
01:31:41,683 --> 01:31:42,945
- Shari...
- You son of a bitch.
1344
01:31:43,151 --> 01:31:45,779
He could have hurt him.
Don't overreact.
1345
01:31:45,987 --> 01:31:47,921
I'm taking him home. Now.
1346
01:31:48,123 --> 01:31:49,750
Are you kidding?
It's the middle of the game.
1347
01:31:49,958 --> 01:31:52,927
He finishes the game. After that,
you can take him wherever you want.
1348
01:31:55,196 --> 01:31:56,390
Don't do the arm cross.
1349
01:31:56,598 --> 01:31:58,190
Do not do the arm cross.
1350
01:32:01,703 --> 01:32:03,170
Hey, Engelberg...
1351
01:32:17,485 --> 01:32:19,112
Yes, go.
1352
01:32:25,793 --> 01:32:28,921
Engelberg! Engelberg! Engelberg!
1353
01:33:07,669 --> 01:33:09,694
Justin...
1354
01:33:09,904 --> 01:33:11,166
...you're on the mound.
1355
01:33:13,708 --> 01:33:15,676
Strike two!
1356
01:33:20,682 --> 01:33:22,411
Strike three!
1357
01:33:27,922 --> 01:33:32,916
Going into the sixth and final inning,
Bears lead 5-4.
1358
01:33:33,127 --> 01:33:35,288
Okay, Jose, you and Tanner
sit this one out.
1359
01:33:35,496 --> 01:33:38,431
- What?
- What the hell?
1360
01:33:38,633 --> 01:33:40,726
Lupus, you go to second base.
1361
01:33:40,935 --> 01:33:44,166
Hooper go to right field. Prem...
Where's Prem? Go to the left.
1362
01:33:44,372 --> 01:33:45,703
Are you sure?
1363
01:33:45,907 --> 01:33:47,465
- Yeah, I'm sure.
- What?
1364
01:33:48,509 --> 01:33:51,501
- You heard me. Right field.
- Are you crazy?
1365
01:33:51,713 --> 01:33:53,806
I can't go out there,
I'm in a wheelchair.
1366
01:33:54,649 --> 01:33:57,311
- I thought you wanted to play baseball.
- Hell, no.
1367
01:33:57,518 --> 01:33:59,918
Why the hell would
I want to play baseball?
1368
01:34:00,121 --> 01:34:02,055
I'm a damn paraplegic.
1369
01:34:05,260 --> 01:34:07,820
So you just wanna sit here and
get splinters in your ass all season?
1370
01:34:08,029 --> 01:34:09,291
Is that what you want?
1371
01:34:11,399 --> 01:34:13,833
If you won't play ball,
why are you here?
1372
01:34:15,136 --> 01:34:18,128
Last time I checked,
this is a baseball team.
1373
01:34:19,340 --> 01:34:21,365
And you're all on the team.
1374
01:34:21,976 --> 01:34:23,409
Every one of you.
1375
01:34:24,112 --> 01:34:25,409
So do what I said.
1376
01:34:25,613 --> 01:34:28,548
You guys go out there
and play baseball, okay?
1377
01:34:28,750 --> 01:34:30,081
Whurlitzer, where are you going?
1378
01:34:30,885 --> 01:34:32,318
To finish the game.
1379
01:34:32,720 --> 01:34:35,086
- Not with that arm, honey.
- What?
1380
01:34:35,556 --> 01:34:38,582
You go and put it on ice.
Come on, sit down.
1381
01:34:38,993 --> 01:34:40,221
Toby, hit the mound.
1382
01:34:40,428 --> 01:34:42,988
- Really?
- Yeah, hit the mound.
1383
01:34:43,197 --> 01:34:44,824
You'll be all right.
1384
01:34:45,266 --> 01:34:46,893
I know you're not good
at listening to me,
1385
01:34:47,101 --> 01:34:50,298
but for a change, just sit here
and enjoy the game with me, all right?
1386
01:34:50,505 --> 01:34:54,032
And try to forgive an old drunk
for being an asshole.
1387
01:34:54,242 --> 01:34:58,144
All right, guys. Let's show the Yankees
what bad news is all about.
1388
01:35:00,348 --> 01:35:02,145
Look at Hooper.
1389
01:35:04,552 --> 01:35:07,077
I bet it's just blowing their minds.
1390
01:35:09,324 --> 01:35:12,157
You pitched a great game, honey.
Come here.
1391
01:35:15,563 --> 01:35:18,726
And Hooper, the kid in the wheelchair,
he goes to right for Whitewood.
1392
01:35:18,933 --> 01:35:20,867
What does that do
to your batting order?
1393
01:35:21,069 --> 01:35:24,334
Well, one goes to four,
four goes to five, two goes to three,
1394
01:35:24,539 --> 01:35:28,999
three goes to two, six goes to one,
and seven, eight, nine are cool.
1395
01:35:29,210 --> 01:35:30,768
I guess you know what you're doing.
1396
01:35:30,978 --> 01:35:32,741
Yeah, I do.
1397
01:36:00,541 --> 01:36:02,031
Batting practice.
1398
01:36:02,610 --> 01:36:05,704
All right, let's keep
the rally going, guys. Come on.
1399
01:36:05,913 --> 01:36:08,507
Hey, Toby, you need
to scoot up a little bit?
1400
01:36:08,716 --> 01:36:11,844
Batting for the Yankees,
Danny Patello.
1401
01:36:29,804 --> 01:36:30,771
You're out!
1402
01:36:42,216 --> 01:36:44,980
Here we go, Ritchie! Keep it going.
1403
01:36:55,830 --> 01:36:56,956
You're out!
1404
01:36:57,165 --> 01:36:59,030
Yes, sir. Way to go, Kelly!
1405
01:36:59,233 --> 01:37:01,360
Good throw, buddy. Good throw.
1406
01:37:01,569 --> 01:37:03,696
Two out. We need one more out, guys.
Come on.
1407
01:37:03,905 --> 01:37:05,202
One more out! Come on!
1408
01:37:05,406 --> 01:37:08,432
Next for the Yankees,
Mike Van Horn.
1409
01:37:08,643 --> 01:37:10,076
Come on, kill it!
1410
01:37:38,773 --> 01:37:40,604
Did you see that? Unbelievable.
1411
01:37:40,808 --> 01:37:41,900
Way to go, Hooper!
1412
01:37:45,079 --> 01:37:46,706
The little crippled boy did it!
1413
01:37:46,914 --> 01:37:49,747
And at the bottom of the sixth,
Yankees lead 8 to 5.
1414
01:37:53,754 --> 01:37:56,723
Pretty impressive, guys.
Way to go, Lupus. Way to go, man.
1415
01:37:56,924 --> 01:37:58,482
That's a hero right there.
1416
01:37:58,693 --> 01:37:59,717
All right.
1417
01:37:59,927 --> 01:38:01,690
- Hooper! Come on, man.
- Yeah, Hooper!
1418
01:38:01,896 --> 01:38:03,761
Get in here.
Put that thing in fourth gear.
1419
01:38:03,965 --> 01:38:05,398
- Good going, man.
- Great catch.
1420
01:38:05,600 --> 01:38:07,295
- Nice catch.
- All right, Hooper.
1421
01:38:07,502 --> 01:38:10,130
Hey, guys,
four more runs,
1422
01:38:10,338 --> 01:38:11,669
we win the game.
1423
01:38:11,873 --> 01:38:13,204
How about that?
1424
01:38:13,407 --> 01:38:15,375
Prem. Where's Prem?
You're up, buddy.
1425
01:38:15,576 --> 01:38:17,441
I have to remind you,
Mr. Buttermaker,
1426
01:38:17,645 --> 01:38:19,806
that my batting average
is well below the norm.
1427
01:38:20,281 --> 01:38:21,407
And what's that?
1428
01:38:21,616 --> 01:38:23,106
Zero for a lifetime.
1429
01:38:24,418 --> 01:38:26,852
Well, you're due one, man.
1430
01:38:27,054 --> 01:38:29,113
So get out there.
1431
01:38:29,524 --> 01:38:31,924
- Really?
- Absolutely, buddy.
1432
01:38:32,493 --> 01:38:35,985
- Let's go, guys. All right.
- Buttermaker, come here.
1433
01:38:36,197 --> 01:38:37,562
Excellent.
1434
01:38:37,932 --> 01:38:39,331
This should be fun.
1435
01:38:39,534 --> 01:38:41,058
Listen, I'm a little busy right now.
1436
01:38:41,269 --> 01:38:43,601
What the hell are you doing?
We had the lead,
1437
01:38:43,804 --> 01:38:45,772
and now you're putting wheelchairs
in the outfield?
1438
01:38:45,973 --> 01:38:48,533
I mean, you're letting Toby pitch?
What are you thinking?
1439
01:38:48,743 --> 01:38:49,937
You know, he's your son.
1440
01:38:50,144 --> 01:38:52,044
Yes, and he wants to win
just like everyone else.
1441
01:38:52,246 --> 01:38:55,113
Really? How would you know
what he wants?
1442
01:38:55,316 --> 01:38:57,841
When do you see him,
between basket weaving and ballet?
1443
01:38:58,052 --> 01:39:00,418
You have some goddamn nerve.
1444
01:39:00,621 --> 01:39:02,953
Are you actually telling me
how to raise my child?
1445
01:39:03,157 --> 01:39:05,091
No, I'm not telling you
how to raise your child.
1446
01:39:05,293 --> 01:39:09,252
But maybe somebody should.
I got a game to coach.
1447
01:39:09,463 --> 01:39:11,795
Leading off for the Bears,
number 19, Prem Lahiri.
1448
01:39:11,999 --> 01:39:13,261
Let's go, Prem.
1449
01:39:13,467 --> 01:39:16,402
Let's go. Keep your eye on it.
1450
01:39:20,074 --> 01:39:23,601
I'll be damned. Way to go!
Way to go, Prem. Way to go!
1451
01:39:23,811 --> 01:39:25,836
- Safe!
- Did you see that?
1452
01:39:26,047 --> 01:39:27,139
Way to go, buddy! Way to go!
1453
01:39:27,348 --> 01:39:30,579
Now batting, number 4,
Timmy Lupus.
1454
01:39:43,564 --> 01:39:45,555
- Strike one!
- Come on, Lupus.
1455
01:39:52,907 --> 01:39:54,670
- Strike two!
- Come on, Lupus!
1456
01:39:55,476 --> 01:39:57,876
If you want to hit the ball,
you gotta swing the bat!
1457
01:40:10,691 --> 01:40:12,420
Look at that! Lupus hit the ball!
1458
01:40:18,766 --> 01:40:19,755
Run! Run!
1459
01:40:19,967 --> 01:40:21,525
- Run! Run!
- Run!
1460
01:40:21,736 --> 01:40:24,068
- Run! Run!
- Run! Run!
1461
01:40:30,778 --> 01:40:32,871
- Safe!
- Lupus!
1462
01:40:33,547 --> 01:40:34,878
Lupus!
1463
01:40:35,082 --> 01:40:38,108
Lupus! Lupus!
1464
01:40:39,153 --> 01:40:42,316
All right, guys. Hey, Miguel.
Miguel, you know what to do.
1465
01:40:42,523 --> 01:40:44,457
Next up, number 14, Miguel Agilar.
1466
01:40:45,493 --> 01:40:47,085
Let's go, guys!
1467
01:40:57,304 --> 01:40:58,532
You're out!
1468
01:40:58,739 --> 01:41:00,570
Dadgum it!
1469
01:41:00,975 --> 01:41:04,741
It's okay, Prem. It's all right, buddy.
Way to hustle. Way to hustle.
1470
01:41:04,945 --> 01:41:06,708
Good hit, Miguel.
1471
01:41:08,516 --> 01:41:10,143
Lucky hit.
1472
01:41:13,320 --> 01:41:15,845
Sorry, Paco, no habla.
1473
01:41:16,557 --> 01:41:20,789
It means you're a bag of douche,
shithead.
1474
01:41:20,995 --> 01:41:23,361
All right, Kelly, let's tie the game,
buddy. Let's go. Come on.
1475
01:41:23,564 --> 01:41:25,259
Now batting number 5, Kelly Leak.
1476
01:41:25,466 --> 01:41:27,627
Let's go, buddy. Let's go. Let's go.
1477
01:41:34,041 --> 01:41:35,099
Collins.
1478
01:41:46,554 --> 01:41:48,112
Ball one!
1479
01:41:49,690 --> 01:41:51,055
Chicken!
1480
01:41:53,994 --> 01:41:55,359
Ball two!
1481
01:41:55,563 --> 01:41:57,258
Kelly.
1482
01:41:57,465 --> 01:41:59,194
Kelly.
1483
01:42:27,728 --> 01:42:28,820
Two outs. Come on, one more.
1484
01:42:30,464 --> 01:42:32,989
Hey, Garo. Garo, come here.
1485
01:42:34,802 --> 01:42:36,861
Hit the ball, buddy.
1486
01:42:37,338 --> 01:42:39,067
Come on, Garo!
1487
01:42:41,909 --> 01:42:44,139
- Number 10...
- No pressure, guys!
1488
01:42:44,345 --> 01:42:46,472
...Garo Daragebrigadian.
- Let's get that out!
1489
01:42:46,680 --> 01:42:48,910
Come on, Justin!
1490
01:42:49,116 --> 01:42:50,743
Right to him!
1491
01:42:55,956 --> 01:42:57,082
Strike one!
1492
01:42:58,993 --> 01:43:00,927
Come on, guys!
1493
01:43:01,562 --> 01:43:02,756
Justin!
1494
01:43:06,500 --> 01:43:08,297
Strike two!
1495
01:43:12,373 --> 01:43:14,364
One more, baby. One more!
1496
01:43:14,575 --> 01:43:16,304
Come on, Justin!
1497
01:43:39,867 --> 01:43:41,494
Come on!
1498
01:43:47,808 --> 01:43:49,639
Slide! Slide! Slide!
1499
01:43:52,213 --> 01:43:53,737
You're out!
1500
01:43:58,485 --> 01:43:59,975
We won!
1501
01:44:16,770 --> 01:44:18,203
It was a hell of a hit, son.
1502
01:44:18,405 --> 01:44:21,272
I'm proud of you, man.
I'm really proud of you.
1503
01:44:21,475 --> 01:44:23,466
Hey, who wants a beer?
1504
01:44:29,250 --> 01:44:30,581
What are you doing?
1505
01:44:30,784 --> 01:44:32,615
We're celebrating.
1506
01:44:34,555 --> 01:44:38,013
- You deserve it.
- Wait. Nonalcoholic.
1507
01:44:38,225 --> 01:44:41,422
- What's the damn point?
- Just drink it, man.
1508
01:44:42,096 --> 01:44:43,859
There you go.
1509
01:44:45,065 --> 01:44:46,623
All right, guys...
1510
01:44:46,834 --> 01:44:48,768
I want you to listen up.
1511
01:44:49,904 --> 01:44:51,804
I wanna tell you something.
1512
01:44:53,841 --> 01:44:57,242
In all my years of being associated
with baseball teams,
1513
01:44:57,444 --> 01:45:00,413
being around them,
seeing them, whatever...
1514
01:45:00,614 --> 01:45:03,310
I gotta tell you,
this is my favorite team.
1515
01:45:05,319 --> 01:45:07,947
I'm real proud of you guys.
1516
01:45:08,155 --> 01:45:11,022
You played your asses off against...
1517
01:45:11,225 --> 01:45:14,786
Well, pretty... Pretty big odds.
1518
01:45:16,897 --> 01:45:18,262
But...
1519
01:45:21,368 --> 01:45:24,166
Look at those little bastards
over there.
1520
01:45:24,371 --> 01:45:28,933
Jesus Christ. Well, let's go
get this shit over with, okay?
1521
01:45:36,884 --> 01:45:39,148
On a game like this, kids,
1522
01:45:39,353 --> 01:45:42,015
I just want you all to know
that there's no losers,
1523
01:45:42,222 --> 01:45:44,190
and there's no winners.
1524
01:45:44,391 --> 01:45:47,155
I mean, technically, yeah.
1525
01:45:47,361 --> 01:45:49,659
But these things,
they don't mean anything.
1526
01:45:51,932 --> 01:45:54,833
That's some good weight. Jimmy,
you wanted to say a few words?
1527
01:45:57,171 --> 01:45:59,571
You guys had a good season.
1528
01:45:59,773 --> 01:46:01,673
You started off pretty lame,
1529
01:46:01,875 --> 01:46:03,843
but then you got better.
1530
01:46:04,044 --> 01:46:07,070
We just wanted you to know
that you got our respect.
1531
01:46:08,048 --> 01:46:10,380
- Respect.
- Right on.
1532
01:46:10,884 --> 01:46:12,977
And to the Bears...
1533
01:46:13,187 --> 01:46:15,781
...your second-place trophy.
1534
01:46:16,890 --> 01:46:18,858
Gee, thanks, mister.
1535
01:46:20,661 --> 01:46:23,186
Hey, let's bring it in
and give them a cheer, huh?
1536
01:46:23,397 --> 01:46:25,126
Bring it in here.
1537
01:46:25,332 --> 01:46:28,426
- One, two, three!
- Bears!
1538
01:46:31,071 --> 01:46:32,595
Hey, Yankees!
1539
01:46:32,806 --> 01:46:36,936
You can take your crappy trophies
and shove them right up your asses.
1540
01:46:37,144 --> 01:46:38,668
Nice.
1541
01:46:38,879 --> 01:46:40,779
See you next year, bitches!
1542
01:46:50,457 --> 01:46:52,482
Way to go, guys!
1543
01:47:16,850 --> 01:47:20,149
Hooper, I told you I was gonna
make you into a ballplayer, didn't I?
1544
01:47:20,354 --> 01:47:21,616
Good game, Buttermaker.
1545
01:47:21,822 --> 01:47:22,880
You too, sweetie. You too.
1546
01:47:23,090 --> 01:47:25,957
And by the way, I meant to
tell you this. It was Redondo Beach.
1547
01:47:27,194 --> 01:47:28,718
- What?
- When we went out to the beach,
1548
01:47:28,929 --> 01:47:31,489
surfing and all that stuff,
it wasn't Zuma, it was Redondo Beach.
1549
01:47:31,698 --> 01:47:33,290
You wore that stupid
yellow bathing suit.
1550
01:47:33,801 --> 01:47:35,029
You remember.
1551
01:47:35,235 --> 01:47:36,725
Of course I remember.
1552
01:47:36,937 --> 01:47:39,770
Next time, we'll go to Zuma.
How's that?
1553
01:47:40,407 --> 01:47:41,897
Okay.
1554
01:47:42,109 --> 01:47:43,542
Great game. I'm proud of you.
1555
01:47:43,977 --> 01:47:46,468
Good game. Way to go, Lupus.
1556
01:47:46,713 --> 01:47:50,012
This is what's called
a moral victory, Toby.
1557
01:47:50,217 --> 01:47:52,651
Now, it's not quite as good
as the real thing,
1558
01:47:52,853 --> 01:47:55,617
but it's very nice.
1559
01:47:58,725 --> 01:48:00,556
Way to go, Garo.
Good game, brother.
1560
01:48:00,761 --> 01:48:02,160
I told him we won.
1561
01:48:02,362 --> 01:48:04,023
Excellent.
See what I'm talking about?