1
00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:05,840
[intense music]

2
00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:08,717
[panting]

3
00:00:10,427 --> 00:00:13,555
Sorry. It was a one-time
offense, man.

4
00:00:13,597 --> 00:00:15,265
Won't happen again!

5
00:00:17,058 --> 00:00:18,686
[panting]

6
00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:20,187
[man screams]

7
00:00:20,228 --> 00:00:22,356
[birds squawk]

8
00:00:22,397 --> 00:00:23,774
Come on, man.
All I did was jaywalk.

9
00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:27,235
Stop! No! Please!

10
00:00:27,277 --> 00:00:29,196
'No! No!'

11
00:00:30,906 --> 00:00:33,492
[engine revving]

12
00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:34,702
whirr

13
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:37,788
[tires screeching]

14
00:00:39,498 --> 00:00:41,416
[intense music]

15
00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:58,058
[evil laugh]

16
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,812
I'm the Batman!

17
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,904
[theme music]

18
00:01:37,138 --> 00:01:38,807
[music continue]

19
00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:55,449
♪ The Batman ♪♪

20
00:02:00,328 --> 00:02:01,538
[bats squawking]

21
00:02:09,671 --> 00:02:11,048
(man on TV)
'Tonight all of Gotham'

22
00:02:11,090 --> 00:02:13,968
again finds itself
terrorized by Joker.

23
00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:16,261
Only this time,
instead of breaking the law

24
00:02:16,303 --> 00:02:18,055
he's enforcing it.

25
00:02:18,097 --> 00:02:20,265
'Donning the costume
and mocking the methods'

26
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:22,935
of his constant rival
The Batman.

27
00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:25,896
Joker has inexplicably
turned to fighting crime.

28
00:02:25,938 --> 00:02:27,022
The crazed catch?

29
00:02:27,064 --> 00:02:29,190
'It seems the offenses
he targets'

30
00:02:29,232 --> 00:02:31,902
'barely qualify
as crimes, at all.'

31
00:02:31,944 --> 00:02:34,488
'And as Kimberly Smith,
the 78-year-old'

32
00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:37,407
'grandmother of ten, learned
after absentmindedly driving'

33
00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:40,077
'for three blocks
with her turn signal flashing'

34
00:02:40,119 --> 00:02:42,037
'while the crimes may be minor'

35
00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:44,498
'Joker's punishment of them
is anything but..'

36
00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:50,169
Imitation  is  the sincerest
form of flattery.

37
00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:52,589
But why do you suppose
the tribute, Master Bruce?

38
00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:55,300
Cheap knockoff is more like it.

39
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:57,011
But what troubles me most

40
00:02:57,052 --> 00:03:00,305
is that my antidote failed
to cure Joker's jaywalker.

41
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,265
A new strain of Joker gas.

42
00:03:02,307 --> 00:03:04,726
How very ghastly indeed!

43
00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:06,687
[bats screeching]

44
00:03:14,611 --> 00:03:17,280
whoosh

45
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:19,198
Huh? J-Joker?

46
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:20,659
Where?

47
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:26,123
I don't know what you're after
but you will be stopped.

48
00:03:26,165 --> 00:03:30,002
The only thing I'm after,
mayor, are the bad guys.

49
00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:31,795
Then how do you justify
what you did

50
00:03:31,837 --> 00:03:34,589
to three of Gotham PD's
finest today?

51
00:03:34,631 --> 00:03:36,508
'And for what, speeding?'

52
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,844
'It was a police chase.'

53
00:03:38,886 --> 00:03:40,762
No one's above the law.

54
00:03:44,349 --> 00:03:46,810
"Bill for services rendered?"

55
00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:49,897
"One million dollars."
What?

56
00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:53,150
Crime-fighting ain't
charity work, you know.

57
00:03:53,192 --> 00:03:55,110
And if the city doesn't comply?

58
00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:58,655
Then Gotham pays...dearly!

59
00:03:58,697 --> 00:04:00,949
[evil laugh]

60
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,910
Ahem! Sorry.

61
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:09,166
I must say, mayor, of all
the scum I've taken down so far

62
00:04:09,208 --> 00:04:12,252
it was your  wife
who disappointed me the most.

63
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,589
My wife? Sheila?

64
00:04:15,630 --> 00:04:17,799
What have you done to Sheila?

65
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:20,510
Eleven items at a ten-item
grocery checkout.

66
00:04:20,552 --> 00:04:21,887
She had it coming.

67
00:04:23,055 --> 00:04:24,765
- Huh?
- Ha ha ha!

68
00:04:27,935 --> 00:04:29,436
Sheila.

69
00:04:29,477 --> 00:04:30,812
'Sheila!'

70
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,942
[children laughing]

71
00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:41,531
- 'Well, well, well.'
- Huh?

72
00:04:42,574 --> 00:04:44,492
(Joker)
Graffiti!

73
00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:47,495
That's a pretty serious
offense, girls.

74
00:04:47,537 --> 00:04:49,664
But that's why I became
a crime fighter.

75
00:04:49,706 --> 00:04:52,626
To take out garbage like you.

76
00:04:52,667 --> 00:04:54,253
- Unh!
- Ah!

77
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:57,256
[grunting]

78
00:04:57,297 --> 00:04:59,967
The costume party's over, Joker.

79
00:05:00,008 --> 00:05:02,219
Joker? Didn't you hear?

80
00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:04,930
The clown prince of crime's
checked out.

81
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,848
He just couldn't take anymore.

82
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:08,767
'Couldn't take The Batman.'

83
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,394
Always there to thwart
his latest scheme.

84
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,563
Well, it was really starting
to drive him mad.

85
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:16,691
But then Joker thought

86
00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,359
if he couldn't beat The Bat

87
00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:20,320
he'd  be  The Bat.

88
00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:21,989
[chuckles]

89
00:05:22,030 --> 00:05:24,491
Then Gotham has
one Batman too many.

90
00:05:24,532 --> 00:05:27,077
Which means one of us
has gotta go.

91
00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:28,787
My thoughts exactly.

92
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:30,747
click

93
00:05:33,292 --> 00:05:34,793
boom

94
00:05:37,462 --> 00:05:39,298
click

95
00:05:41,300 --> 00:05:44,219
[dramatic music]

96
00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:00,819
[grunting]

97
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:03,905
[laughs]

98
00:06:05,157 --> 00:06:06,700
clang

99
00:06:09,368 --> 00:06:12,039
[grunting]

100
00:06:17,085 --> 00:06:18,003
Unh!

101
00:06:22,299 --> 00:06:22,966
thud

102
00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:26,094
[grunts]

103
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:27,554
[laughs]

104
00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:29,514
[groans]

105
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:38,648
New-and-improved Batman
beats original recipe.

106
00:06:38,690 --> 00:06:41,318
But that doesn't mean
our rivalry has to end.

107
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:43,653
You see,
The Batman needs a Joker.

108
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:46,240
Someone who gives him purpose.

109
00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:49,076
Which means if I'm going
to make it as The Dark Knight

110
00:06:49,117 --> 00:06:52,287
I'm going to need
a Joker of my own.

111
00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:55,207
'And who better a foil
than you, old friend?'

112
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:56,624
[groans]

113
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,752
[intense music]

114
00:06:58,793 --> 00:07:00,045
Ugh!

115
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,384
Joker venom.

116
00:07:05,424 --> 00:07:08,095
'Just the thing to inject
a bit of humor into you.'

117
00:07:11,723 --> 00:07:13,392
hiss

118
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,102
Don't fret, Batman.

119
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:16,978
You'll soon make
a great Joker.

120
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:19,398
Just don't forget to smile.

121
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:21,358
[music continues]

122
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:30,450
[instrumental music]

123
00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:36,456
That is quite
a nasty bite, sir.

124
00:07:36,497 --> 00:07:39,459
- Really, Alfred, it's nothing.
- Nothing?

125
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,002
Who knows what
chemical concoction

126
00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:42,837
that madman cooked up
for you.

127
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:45,006
Look, if the snake's venom
was harmful

128
00:07:45,048 --> 00:07:47,134
I'm sure I'd know it by now.

129
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:50,429
But to tell the truth,
Alfred, I feel great.

130
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:51,763
Even a bit chipper.

131
00:07:53,014 --> 00:07:55,809
Even so, we should let
your lab results

132
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,602
'inform us
whether anything dangerous'

133
00:07:57,644 --> 00:08:00,105
'is currently coursing
through your veins.'

134
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,523
I think the only dangerous
thing you're gonna find

135
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,525
are my cholesterol levels.

136
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,945
- Heh heh heh.
- Sir?

137
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:10,240
Uh, nothing, Alfred.
Just a bad joke.

138
00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:12,075
Well, I'd better get
to the hospital

139
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:15,620
and see about sneaking a blood
sample from Mayor Grange's wife.

140
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:18,665
Uh, sir, all things considered,
until we know your results

141
00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:21,084
I must  insist  you remain
in the Batcave.

142
00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:23,086
Sorry, Alfred,
right now I'm the only hope

143
00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:25,130
of Joker's victims
getting an antidote.

144
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:27,299
'And, besides,
Mayor Grange could probably'

145
00:08:27,341 --> 00:08:28,967
'use some support.'

146
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,345
Seeing an old friend might
bring a smile to his face.

147
00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:33,013
[bats screeching]

148
00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:41,021
I can't begin to imagine what
you're going through, mayor.

149
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:44,649
It's been a real
tough stretch, Bruce.

150
00:08:44,691 --> 00:08:47,235
Your arm?
You hurt yourself?

151
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:48,736
Cut myself shaving.

152
00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:53,033
I'm kidding.
Heh heh heh.

153
00:08:53,074 --> 00:08:54,075
[snorting]

154
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:56,119
Uh, yes, well..

155
00:08:56,161 --> 00:08:57,496
I am glad you came, Bruce.

156
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,747
I was hoping
I could get your advice.

157
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,376
Joker's demanding
a large ransom and the city

158
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:06,629
well just doesn't have that
kind of money available.

159
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:09,341
If it means helping Gotham
and easing your burden

160
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:11,592
I can write you a check
right now.

161
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:14,012
You, you'd do that?

162
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,930
No.

163
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:17,640
[laughing]
Yes.

164
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,019
I'm not sure
that's funny, Bruce.

165
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:24,647
No, uh, I-I'm being
very serious, sir.

166
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:25,940
[laughing]

167
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:27,901
Are you sure
everything's alright?

168
00:09:30,570 --> 00:09:33,948
Uh, maybe I am a little bit
out of sorts.

169
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,369
Why don't we see
how Sheila's doing?

170
00:09:39,746 --> 00:09:41,831
I wanna warn you,
it's pretty shocking.

171
00:09:43,041 --> 00:09:44,459
[intense music]

172
00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:48,629
Oh, that's terri..

173
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,507
Umh..

174
00:09:50,549 --> 00:09:52,300
[laughing]

175
00:09:53,510 --> 00:09:55,303
Bruce, please.

176
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:56,930
[laughing]

177
00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,557
Sorry. Oh!

178
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,225
I don't know
what's come over me.

179
00:10:00,267 --> 00:10:01,351
[monitor beeping]

180
00:10:01,393 --> 00:10:04,062
[laughing]

181
00:10:04,104 --> 00:10:06,398
Excuse me.
Ha ha ha! Sorry.

182
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:08,358
[Bruce laughing]

183
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,152
Hey!

184
00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:12,987
Uh.

185
00:10:13,029 --> 00:10:15,115
The Joker venom.

186
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,825
[laughing]

187
00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:23,373
(Bruce)
'The results of the lab
analysis are grim, Alfred.'

188
00:10:23,415 --> 00:10:25,083
Very grim.

189
00:10:25,125 --> 00:10:27,919
It seems Joker's new venom
attacks the nervous system

190
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,046
and forces the body
into gradually increasing

191
00:10:30,088 --> 00:10:32,299
'fits of laughter
until finally--'

192
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:34,551
Joker said he wanted
an archenemy

193
00:10:34,593 --> 00:10:36,470
but he didn't say
a pulse was required.

194
00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:38,846
[laughing]
That's rich!

195
00:10:38,888 --> 00:10:42,016
[laughing]
You crack me up, Al.

196
00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:43,310
Ah heh..

197
00:10:43,351 --> 00:10:46,313
[sighs]

198
00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:48,440
So, I devised this antidote.

199
00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:50,733
'All I need is a sample
of Joker's original venom'

200
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,026
'in order to complete it.'

201
00:10:52,068 --> 00:10:55,113
Which would require
finding Joker.

202
00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:57,907
And soon, at the poison's
current rate of progress

203
00:10:57,949 --> 00:11:00,452
'I have an hour left to live.'

204
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:01,786
[gasps]

205
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:04,789
And now only 59 minutes,
39 seconds.

206
00:11:04,831 --> 00:11:06,124
[laughing]

207
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:08,209
Fifty, fifty nine minutes,
27 seconds.

208
00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:10,295
[laughing]

209
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:13,381
Things can't get any
worse now, can they?

210
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,091
[bats screeching]

211
00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:19,137
beep beep beep

212
00:11:20,555 --> 00:11:22,474
kaboom

213
00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:28,229
Tweet, tweet!

214
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:31,191
[laughing]

215
00:11:39,449 --> 00:11:41,368
[laughing]

216
00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:45,997
Pull yourself together, sir.

217
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,041
I'm sorry, Alfred.

218
00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:51,169
This venom is
driving me batty. Batty!

219
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,879
[laughing]

220
00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:56,383
The Batwave.

221
00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,178
Break-in at,
at the Gotham museum of art.

222
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,720
Joker?

223
00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:04,516
The crime clown has
a different MO these days.

224
00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:06,601
Isn't the museum hosting
a collection of priceless

225
00:12:06,643 --> 00:12:08,186
Faberge eggs this week?

226
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:09,479
You don't think..

227
00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:12,106
Mm-hmm. Penguin.

228
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:14,192
As much as I hate
to suggest it

229
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:17,237
Oswald Cobblepot will have
to get a free pass tonight

230
00:12:17,278 --> 00:12:19,698
as your focus must be
on finding Joker.

231
00:12:19,738 --> 00:12:21,491
If Joker's playing Batman

232
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:23,243
he'll be there to
take down Penguin.

233
00:12:23,284 --> 00:12:25,245
I can hit two birds
with one stone.

234
00:12:25,286 --> 00:12:27,247
Get it? Birds!

235
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:30,250
[laughing]

236
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:31,834
Good one, sir.

237
00:12:33,378 --> 00:12:35,880
(Joker)
'Break-in at the Gotham
museum of art?'

238
00:12:35,922 --> 00:12:38,341
This looks like a job for..

239
00:12:38,383 --> 00:12:39,467
...The Batman.

240
00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:41,511
[bats screeching]

241
00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:44,472
[dramatic music]

242
00:12:47,559 --> 00:12:50,478
vroom vroom vroom

243
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:58,445
[bats screeching]

244
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:03,491
Uh, these precious eggs
are gonna hatch me a fortune.

245
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:05,410
The perfect crime.

246
00:13:05,452 --> 00:13:08,580
No fuss, no muss, and no--

247
00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:10,290
(Joker)
'Penguin!'

248
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:13,460
Batman.

249
00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:19,299
[dramatic music]

250
00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:20,383
whoosh

251
00:13:20,425 --> 00:13:21,593
[grunts]

252
00:13:23,010 --> 00:13:23,970
Ugh!

253
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:29,434
[panting]

254
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,812
Quack! Huh?

255
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:38,109
- 'Joker?'
- I'm The Batman.

256
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:41,738
You see, the thing is..

257
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:43,573
...you're not!

258
00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:46,117
The eggs, Penguin,
or I scramble you.

259
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,826
Are you out of your gourd?

260
00:13:47,868 --> 00:13:49,704
I'm in the middle of a heist!

261
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,372
You don't see me barging in

262
00:13:51,414 --> 00:13:54,167
on your "gas all of Gotham"
schemes, do you?

263
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:57,044
It is called
professional courtesy.

264
00:13:57,086 --> 00:14:00,298
Sorry, Pengie, but bringing down
Gotham's second-biggest criminal

265
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:03,468
means my biggest bounty yet.

266
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,303
Second-biggest?

267
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:06,179
Says who?

268
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:08,097
whoosh

269
00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:10,266
screech

270
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:12,059
Hyah!

271
00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:14,813
[Penguin grunts]

272
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:19,025
[both grunting]

273
00:14:22,945 --> 00:14:24,447
Arr-rrgh!

274
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:32,539
[Batman laughing]

275
00:14:36,710 --> 00:14:38,419
- Joker!
- Batman?

276
00:14:38,461 --> 00:14:39,671
[laughing]

277
00:14:39,713 --> 00:14:43,383
If it isn't dumb and dumber.

278
00:14:43,424 --> 00:14:45,218
[laughing]

279
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:50,515
Okay, now you two are startin'
to creep me out.

280
00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,933
This is no longer funny, Joker.

281
00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:56,396
[laughing]
Hand over the venom.

282
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:59,399
[laughing]

283
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:03,069
But you're so close
to completing your evolution.

284
00:15:03,110 --> 00:15:05,446
Ah, well, it seems you two
have something to settle.

285
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:07,574
- So, I'll just--
- Not so fast, Penguin.

286
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:09,367
The eggs!

287
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,077
[dramatic music]

288
00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:16,875
[grunting]

289
00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:21,170
[all grunting]

290
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:26,467
Ugh, ugh, uh!

291
00:15:26,509 --> 00:15:27,886
[gasps]

292
00:15:29,512 --> 00:15:30,597
[Penguin grunts]

293
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:35,017
Yes!

294
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:37,228
[eggs shattering]

295
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:39,313
That is one expensive omelet.

296
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:41,274
[laughing]

297
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:47,071
Since I can't leave
here empty-handed..

298
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:53,745
You do not want that, Penguin.

299
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:57,248
If you want it, Batman,
I want it.

300
00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:02,002
[evil laugh]

301
00:16:07,258 --> 00:16:08,802
Aah!

302
00:16:08,843 --> 00:16:10,010
Quack!

303
00:16:12,263 --> 00:16:13,431
Huh?

304
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,391
[music continues]

305
00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:20,271
whirr whirr

306
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,606
Wait!

307
00:16:22,816 --> 00:16:23,775
Ah!

308
00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:29,864
Uuh-uh-uh.
Comedy  is  timing, you know?

309
00:16:31,616 --> 00:16:33,534
[both grunting]

310
00:16:37,371 --> 00:16:39,540
Hyah! Ooh!

311
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:40,875
[groans]

312
00:16:41,793 --> 00:16:43,252
[chains clanking]

313
00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:45,922
Ha!

314
00:16:49,634 --> 00:16:54,180
Well, now, what could it be
that you want so badly?

315
00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:57,016
Ooh, no.
That is not a good idea.

316
00:16:57,057 --> 00:16:58,142
Says you!

317
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,856
Ow!

318
00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:04,649
[laughing]
Priceless.

319
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,567
Ow! Unh!

320
00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:08,068
[groans]

321
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:08,903
Aah!

322
00:17:12,615 --> 00:17:15,284
Aa-aa-aah!

323
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:17,704
Unh! Mmm!

324
00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:21,374
Well, guess I'll just
hang out here.

325
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:24,084
[laughing]
Well, that's a good one, Pengie.

326
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:25,712
[laughing]

327
00:17:29,799 --> 00:17:31,718
[Batman laughing]

328
00:17:33,511 --> 00:17:35,763
Tick-tock, tick-tock.

329
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,017
You know, what's funny.

330
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:41,227
This situation
reminds me of a joke!

331
00:17:41,268 --> 00:17:42,812
[grunts]

332
00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:44,731
A doctor told his patient

333
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:46,858
"I have bad news
and worse news."

334
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:48,026
Uh!

335
00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,152
"Oh, dear! what's the bad news?"

336
00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:51,195
asked the patient.

337
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:52,655
[grunting]

338
00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:53,698
The doctor replied

339
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,867
"you only have 24 hours
to live!"

340
00:17:55,909 --> 00:17:57,035
Aah!

341
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,245
"That's terrible,"
said the patient.

342
00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:01,664
"But how can the other news
possibly be worse?"

343
00:18:01,706 --> 00:18:02,790
Unh!

344
00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:11,883
The doctor replied, "Well,
I've been trying to contact you

345
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:13,634
since yesterday!"

346
00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:16,596
[laughing]

347
00:18:20,140 --> 00:18:21,809
[Batman gasping]

348
00:18:26,230 --> 00:18:28,482
That joke always slays 'em.

349
00:18:31,402 --> 00:18:34,072
[laughing]

350
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,367
[gasps]

351
00:18:38,409 --> 00:18:41,079
[dramatic music]

352
00:18:47,961 --> 00:18:49,963
You really know
how to squelch a laugh.

353
00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:55,175
[grunting]

354
00:18:55,217 --> 00:18:57,845
Stop me if you've heard
this one before, Joker.

355
00:19:00,389 --> 00:19:02,224
A man walked into a bar.

356
00:19:03,559 --> 00:19:05,227
Ow!

357
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:07,480
And said..

358
00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:08,815
"...Ow!"

359
00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:11,943
[chuckles]

360
00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:14,904
[laughing]

361
00:19:16,739 --> 00:19:18,866
Good one, Batman.

362
00:19:18,908 --> 00:19:20,868
"Said, ow."

363
00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:23,746
[laughing]

364
00:19:23,788 --> 00:19:25,498
Who knew you had it in you?

365
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:27,458
[laughing]

366
00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:30,336
That's the Joker I know.

367
00:19:31,378 --> 00:19:33,840
[Joker laughing]

368
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:35,800
[Penguin laughing]

369
00:19:38,719 --> 00:19:40,179
Hey, what's so funny?

370
00:19:40,220 --> 00:19:41,764
Ehhh..

371
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,223
[laughing]

372
00:19:43,265 --> 00:19:45,935
[Joker and Penguin laughing]

373
00:19:54,318 --> 00:19:56,988
[theme music]

374
00:20:15,798 --> 00:20:17,758
♪ The Batman ♪♪