1 00:00:02,436 --> 00:00:03,680 Gossip girl here... Your one and only source 2 00:00:03,704 --> 00:00:06,440 into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. 3 00:00:06,474 --> 00:00:07,308 (Girl) "Gossip girl" says your dad is dating 4 00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:09,243 Serena Van Der Woodsen. Is it true? 5 00:00:09,277 --> 00:00:10,778 Not for long. 6 00:00:10,811 --> 00:00:13,314 (Camera shutters clicking, audience gasps) 7 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,383 This isn't fashion-forward or provocative. 8 00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:16,793 It's exploitation, and it's embarrassing. 9 00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:19,253 (Blair) Nelly yuki trashed me in "women's wear daily." 10 00:00:19,287 --> 00:00:21,255 "Can Blair Waldorf step into her mother's shoes, 11 00:00:21,289 --> 00:00:25,226 or is her achilles' heel of the stripper variety?" 12 00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:26,336 It's Jean Pierre. Your mother knows 13 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,762 you don't have orders from any buyers. 14 00:00:28,796 --> 00:00:29,697 Did this really happen... You and Serena? 15 00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:31,465 Every dirty detail. 16 00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:32,509 Did you write about that night that we were together 17 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:33,801 at the Campbell apartment? 18 00:00:33,834 --> 00:00:37,205 Relax. I didn't publish any of that. 19 00:00:37,238 --> 00:00:39,473 Last year, when you had no one, I was there for you. 20 00:00:39,507 --> 00:00:41,185 I kinda need you to do the same for me right now. 21 00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:43,211 Make yourself at home. 22 00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:43,811 (Rufus) When it comes to Ivy, you're way out of line. 23 00:00:43,844 --> 00:00:44,712 She's a known con artist. 24 00:00:44,745 --> 00:00:47,315 She swindled Lily and her entire family. 25 00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:48,592 You need to stop sticking your nose in 26 00:00:48,616 --> 00:00:50,218 where it doesn't belong. 27 00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:52,153 He didn't fake his death for Lily or me. 28 00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:54,288 He did it so he could avoid federal prison. 29 00:00:55,623 --> 00:00:58,326 And who am I? 30 00:00:58,359 --> 00:01:01,495 That's a secret I'll never tell. 31 00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:03,431 You know you love me. 32 00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:05,666 X.o.x.o., gossip girl. 33 00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:08,869 Captions by vita... 34 00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:12,106 (Gossip girl) New day, new debs... 35 00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:15,643 (Frank ocean) ♪ too many joyrides in daddy's Jaguar ♪ 36 00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:19,480 All dressed up to enter high society. 37 00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:20,514 ♪ Super rich kids 38 00:01:20,548 --> 00:01:22,716 but one fashion faux pas, 39 00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:27,188 and the dressing down will last a lifetime. 40 00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:30,858 Why are you still chewing? Tell me what you think. 41 00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:34,362 I think, um, it's old school, 42 00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:36,140 not in the good way. In the... in the literal way, 43 00:01:36,164 --> 00:01:38,499 like what old ladies used to wear to school. 44 00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:42,203 (Scoffs) Well, it's traditional, as am I. 45 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:43,513 I need to remind the world that I am not 46 00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:46,374 the hypersexual heathen Nelly yuki labeled me. 47 00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:47,651 There's traditional, and there's missionary, 48 00:01:47,675 --> 00:01:48,885 which does not work for the dress... 49 00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:51,512 Or you, as I recall. 50 00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:52,746 ♪ Around too much 51 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:54,682 being polite does not make me a prude. 52 00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:56,617 So why fight your raunchy reputation? 53 00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:59,220 Shock value is what got my "inside out" serial attention. 54 00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:02,890 Well, my audience was titillated 55 00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:04,492 when Sage stripped down to her skivvies. 56 00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:05,759 ♪ White lines 57 00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:07,228 ♪ super rich kids 58 00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:08,772 go. Get out of here with your high neckline 59 00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:11,265 and low hemline. Go! 60 00:02:11,299 --> 00:02:13,201 I have a new vision, and I need a new muse. 61 00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:15,369 (Elevator bell dings, doors open) 62 00:02:15,403 --> 00:02:18,906 And I suggest you replace your muse. 63 00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:21,342 Don't let her touch anything. 64 00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:25,279 Do you know how many hours I've spent searching for you? 65 00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:27,248 I hate it when you play hard-to-get. 66 00:02:27,281 --> 00:02:30,784 ♪ Oh, oh, ooh 67 00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:32,853 (typing) 68 00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:35,223 Are the pancakes okay? You can tell me 69 00:02:35,256 --> 00:02:36,366 if you don't like my cooking. 70 00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:37,534 No, your... your cooking's great. 71 00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:40,361 I just forgot they were there. 72 00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:43,531 Uh, like me? You've barely said a word to me all week. 73 00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:45,399 Sorry. 74 00:02:45,433 --> 00:02:46,934 (Clears throat) 75 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:47,935 (Door closes in distance) 76 00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,503 Mmm! 77 00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:52,273 I love them... You and the pancakes. 78 00:02:52,306 --> 00:02:54,742 Mmm. 79 00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:57,678 I'm getting my cotillion dress refitted. 80 00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:59,547 I lost weight without even trying. 81 00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:00,957 Oh, you're... You're coming out tonight? 82 00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:02,683 (Chuckles) No one calls it that anymore. 83 00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,552 Well, it's still exciting. 84 00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:07,221 Let me know if you need help with your presentation speech 85 00:03:07,255 --> 00:03:09,223 or... or any of the dance steps. 86 00:03:09,257 --> 00:03:11,268 My cotillion ended up being one of the best nights of my life, 87 00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:13,361 and I'm sure yours will be, too. 88 00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:14,862 All this gushing... 89 00:03:14,895 --> 00:03:15,629 It seems like someone's angling for an invitation. 90 00:03:15,663 --> 00:03:17,931 No, I don't expect to be invited. 91 00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:20,634 Cotillion is for a girl and her family. 92 00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:21,869 It is. 93 00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,304 Uh, but no. 94 00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:24,972 Not just family. I mean... 95 00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:27,808 Not family in the strictest legal sense. 96 00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:29,777 I-I meant to invite you. 97 00:03:29,810 --> 00:03:31,845 It must have just slipped my mind. 98 00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:33,347 So much for being the only teenager 99 00:03:33,381 --> 00:03:34,682 on my father's arm tonight. 100 00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:42,022 I'm sorry. I'd love for you to be there tonight 101 00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:43,757 if it's not too late. 102 00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,826 It's never too late for cotillion. 103 00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:46,794 Good, then I'll see you there. 104 00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:49,397 Okay. 105 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:56,970 Staying in this room 106 00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:58,972 is transforming you into its previous occupant... 107 00:03:59,006 --> 00:04:02,510 A diva who ignores my calls and has no work ethic. 108 00:04:02,543 --> 00:04:05,279 Come on. You know that second part is not true. 109 00:04:05,313 --> 00:04:06,614 What do you want? 110 00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:07,657 I've come to wrestle the Blair chapter 111 00:04:07,681 --> 00:04:09,283 from your hot little hands. 112 00:04:09,317 --> 00:04:10,418 I haven't finished it yet. 113 00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:12,486 You're lying. 114 00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:13,897 You're here in some desperate attempt to regain Blair's love, 115 00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:15,532 but you know when she reads what you wrote about her, 116 00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:17,024 she's gonna hate you forever. 117 00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:19,059 Listen, I can't hold the magazine off any longer. 118 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,794 Hand it over. 119 00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:22,372 What language do I need to say it in for you to understand? 120 00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:23,897 It's not done. 121 00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,633 I speak five, 122 00:04:25,666 --> 00:04:28,702 and in every one, that sentence translates to "bullcrap." 123 00:04:28,736 --> 00:04:30,771 (Sighs) 124 00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:33,707 You have until noon to turn it in. 125 00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:44,418 Do you know where miss Blair went? 126 00:04:44,452 --> 00:04:46,520 Uh, she forgot to put on lucky charm this morning 127 00:04:46,554 --> 00:04:47,788 when she get out of shower. 128 00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:51,492 She think conditioner dulls diamond. 129 00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:53,694 That lucky charm looks a lot like an engagement ring. 130 00:04:53,727 --> 00:04:56,764 No, uh... 131 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,766 Is engagement ring on necklace. 132 00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:02,936 At least until Mr. Chuck defeats bad dad. 133 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,805 Miss Blair never leave home without it. 134 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:08,709 I need to prepare for mad mood. 135 00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:12,413 (Beeps) 136 00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:17,918 Hi. Uh, this is Dan Humphrey. 137 00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:18,962 Yeah. Yeah, you can send a messenger 138 00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:21,622 to pick up my next chapter. 139 00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,023 No, it's not about Blair Waldorf. 140 00:05:23,056 --> 00:05:25,459 The one I'm sending is about Chuck bass. 141 00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:29,630 Well, Nate won't publish any more stories about Lily 142 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,965 in "the spectator." 143 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:34,835 Well, I'd give them to gossip girl if I had them, 144 00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,770 but Rufus burned my stash of secrets. 145 00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:38,506 But don't worry. I'll find something. 146 00:05:38,539 --> 00:05:39,973 We'll leave her with no one. 147 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:41,575 So why do we even pay the instructors? 148 00:05:41,609 --> 00:05:43,110 I'll call you later. 149 00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:44,712 (Sighs) 150 00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:46,079 What's wrong? 151 00:05:46,113 --> 00:05:47,981 I need to meet the contractor at the gallery. 152 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:50,455 He called and said a pipe burst and now the floors are ruined. 153 00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:52,453 Well, hopefully he's exaggerating. 154 00:05:52,486 --> 00:05:55,556 Contractors are always looking for ways to make more money. 155 00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:58,692 Well, I don't have any more. It's all in the gallery. 156 00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:00,127 And I can't open without floors. 157 00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,161 You wanna come? 158 00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:03,731 Well, I would, but I have an appointment uptown. 159 00:06:03,764 --> 00:06:04,798 Okay. 160 00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:11,038 (Typing) 161 00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:13,006 Hey, shouldn't you be with the FBI, 162 00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,975 having Bart arrested for illegal oil trading? 163 00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,544 They need evidence first. 164 00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:18,646 The sheikh was the only guy who had any, 165 00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:19,947 and he's loyal to his dad. 166 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:21,482 Bart's been too careful 167 00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:23,584 to leave any trace of the transactions on the books. 168 00:06:23,617 --> 00:06:26,487 Well, I mean, it's pretty easy to fake numbers. 169 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:27,864 You speaking from personal experience? 170 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,758 I'm referring to your father. 171 00:06:30,791 --> 00:06:32,059 Oh. (Chuckles) 172 00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:33,594 Right. Well, I mean, he got caught, 173 00:06:33,627 --> 00:06:35,439 but a lot of people do a little creative accounting 174 00:06:35,463 --> 00:06:37,498 to get past a rough patch and never do. 175 00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:40,000 I'm sure every hedge fund manager behind bars 176 00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:41,869 is telling himself the same thing. 177 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,203 All I'm saying is that 178 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,748 Bart had to keep track of his finances somewhere. 179 00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:46,540 If it wasn't in his business accounts, 180 00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:47,708 it was in his personal ones. 181 00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,644 You're right. 182 00:06:50,678 --> 00:06:52,998 And hopefully, with Lily's help, we'll be able to get them. 183 00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:57,485 Did you instigate a formal dress code at "the spectator"? 184 00:06:57,518 --> 00:06:58,986 I gotta drop it off at the cleaners 185 00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:01,054 before I take Sage to cotillion tonight. 186 00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:03,524 Right. Well, I hope your third time coming out 187 00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:05,125 is finally a charm. 188 00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:06,460 (Scoffs) 189 00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:07,461 Serena. 190 00:07:07,495 --> 00:07:08,662 Hey, Chuck. 191 00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:10,998 Bye, Chuck. Mmm. 192 00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:12,175 Oh, no, just go ahead and help yourself. 193 00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:13,843 Don't even mention what you're doing here or, you know... 194 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:16,236 I need a male's perspective on Steven. 195 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,671 He's barely spoken to me all week, 196 00:07:17,705 --> 00:07:18,939 and then I don't even think 197 00:07:18,972 --> 00:07:19,740 he was gonna tell me about cotillion 198 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,542 until Sage accidentally mentioned it. 199 00:07:21,575 --> 00:07:23,977 I... (Sighs) Oh. 200 00:07:24,011 --> 00:07:25,813 Has she said anything? 201 00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:26,747 Well, her dad doesn't normally come up 202 00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,682 in most of our conversations. 203 00:07:28,716 --> 00:07:29,650 Could the weirdness be that 204 00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:31,719 Steven hooked up with your mom in a dungeon 205 00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:32,829 when you were in grade school? 206 00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:35,689 No. Once he actually remembered that that happened, 207 00:07:35,723 --> 00:07:37,691 it wasn't weird at all. 208 00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:40,227 He got over it really quickly. The awkwardness started after. 209 00:07:40,260 --> 00:07:42,271 And I don't... I don't know how I'm supposed to fix the problem 210 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,698 if I don't even know what the problem is. 211 00:07:44,732 --> 00:07:46,967 See, this is where my female advice skills fall short. 212 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,578 Most of my exes would just steal my phone 213 00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:49,762 or go through all my e-mails. 214 00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:52,840 That was a joke. 215 00:07:52,873 --> 00:07:53,873 I know. 216 00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,581 Lily. There you are. 217 00:08:00,614 --> 00:08:02,249 Charles, what are you doing here? 218 00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:04,217 Bart left specific instructions with Vanya 219 00:08:04,251 --> 00:08:06,253 not to let me into the apartment, 220 00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:08,556 but he did let slip that you were shopping on Madison. 221 00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:09,790 Well, I should get home. 222 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:11,224 Lily, please, I need your help. 223 00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:12,593 Last time I tried to help you, 224 00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,261 you manipulated me against your father. 225 00:08:14,294 --> 00:08:16,597 Bart asked me not to speak with you 226 00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:17,941 until you stop attacking our relationship. 227 00:08:17,965 --> 00:08:19,800 You could get me the proof. 228 00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,570 Don't you wanna know the real reason he faked his death? 229 00:08:22,603 --> 00:08:23,737 Look, I'm sorry, Charles. 230 00:08:23,771 --> 00:08:25,939 I hope you make peace with your father soon 231 00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:27,107 so we can be a family again. 232 00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,316 Maybe I can help instead. 233 00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:41,154 (Beeps) 234 00:08:41,188 --> 00:08:42,656 Oh! 235 00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:47,895 Did someone order a wedding cake? 236 00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:48,696 If you're talking about my dress, 237 00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,898 Tom used vintage lace from Paris. 238 00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:52,766 Oh, vintage as in "old" and "used." 239 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,736 Well, lucky for you, I have the hottest new line 240 00:08:55,769 --> 00:08:57,805 to save your sartorial debut. 241 00:08:57,838 --> 00:08:58,948 Why would you want me anywhere near your clothes 242 00:08:58,972 --> 00:09:01,308 after I left them on the runway at your fashion show? 243 00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:04,277 Well, like it or not, your stunt branded me a provocateur, 244 00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:05,245 so I'm embracing it. 245 00:09:05,278 --> 00:09:06,947 The words I read 246 00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:09,049 were "distasteful" and "majorly sluttish." 247 00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:11,018 Semantics. 248 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,953 Now I know you love to make a statement, 249 00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:15,288 so drop the prom poof and let's go. 250 00:09:15,322 --> 00:09:17,591 (Scoffs) No, thanks. 251 00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:18,968 I make a statement in whatever I wear, 252 00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:21,094 and tonight, it won't be Waldorf. 253 00:09:36,176 --> 00:09:39,279 (Gasps) 254 00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:40,247 (Squeals and laughs) 255 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:41,815 (Gasps) 256 00:09:45,152 --> 00:09:47,054 (Squeals) 257 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:49,389 Serena? 258 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,958 What are you doing? 259 00:09:50,991 --> 00:09:53,727 Um, I just needed to write some e-mails, 260 00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:55,171 so I was gonna borrow your dad's computer, 261 00:09:55,195 --> 00:09:58,131 but then I decided that I should use mine from home. 262 00:09:58,165 --> 00:10:00,267 Must be some pretty thrilling correspondence. 263 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:04,872 No. No, I am just so excited for you and your cotillion tonight. 264 00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:06,065 (Chuckles) I'll see you there. 265 00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:11,144 (Door opens) 266 00:10:11,178 --> 00:10:13,046 (Door closes) 267 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:16,383 They say a diamond is forever, 268 00:10:16,416 --> 00:10:18,051 or maybe never. 269 00:10:18,085 --> 00:10:21,889 It just depends on who finds it first. 270 00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,363 Why would I want the help of a con artist 271 00:10:30,397 --> 00:10:32,165 and a probable sociopath? 272 00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:33,867 I'm neither of those things, 273 00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:36,904 and even if I were, we have a mutual interest in this case. 274 00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:39,139 What are your interests specifically? 275 00:10:39,172 --> 00:10:40,283 To get Lily to leave me alone. 276 00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:43,010 May I suggest you stop following her around in cabs? 277 00:10:43,043 --> 00:10:45,278 I was trying to find dirt. 278 00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:48,315 I figured, you know, if I caused trouble in her relationship, 279 00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:50,017 she'd stay out of mine. 280 00:10:50,050 --> 00:10:52,753 Well, while I can't deny my desire for marital discord, 281 00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:53,887 I won't hurt Lily. 282 00:10:53,921 --> 00:10:55,388 You don't have to. 283 00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:57,166 All you have to do to get your daddy's panties in a bunch 284 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,859 is talk to her. 285 00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,904 And as you just witnessed, she doesn't want to talk to me. 286 00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:02,763 Well, Bart doesn't know that. 287 00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:04,774 So what, make it seem like we've been communicating? 288 00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:07,367 Plant some evidence at the apartment? 289 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,003 It might work, except Bart has banned me from the building. 290 00:11:10,037 --> 00:11:11,772 I wasn't banned. 291 00:11:11,805 --> 00:11:14,441 And I... 292 00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:16,076 Saved a key card. 293 00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,313 Please tell me this is 294 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:21,457 an inappropriate gift for my debut 295 00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:22,792 and not an engagement ring for Serena. 296 00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:24,417 A gift? No, it is not. 297 00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:26,787 Dad, stop talking like Yoda. 298 00:11:26,820 --> 00:11:28,055 It's an engagement ring. 299 00:11:28,088 --> 00:11:29,790 God, it's a relief to talk about it. 300 00:11:29,823 --> 00:11:32,826 I've been so nervous, I forgot to invite Serena to cotillion. 301 00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,361 Yeah, well, maybe you were nervous 302 00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,730 because she's way too young, and it's way too soon. 303 00:11:36,764 --> 00:11:38,031 I get it feels fast, 304 00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:39,733 but we spent all summer together, 305 00:11:39,767 --> 00:11:41,778 and I haven't loved anyone this much since your mother. 306 00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:43,804 Mm. We all know how well that turned out. 307 00:11:45,072 --> 00:11:46,940 I'm scared, too, 308 00:11:46,974 --> 00:11:49,252 but I want Serena to know that I'm in this for the long haul 309 00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:50,854 and I'm not cool with her moving in here with you 310 00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:52,780 until we are engaged. 311 00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:54,357 And now that you know, I'm just gonna get Lily's permission 312 00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,983 and propose to Serena tonight. 313 00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:58,752 (Scoffs) Screw Lily. I'm not giving my permission. 314 00:11:58,786 --> 00:12:00,253 I'm not asking. 315 00:12:00,287 --> 00:12:01,989 (Door opens) 316 00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,423 Ow! 317 00:12:03,456 --> 00:12:06,393 Hush, Jessica. Social ascension is a painful process. 318 00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:07,928 Well I mean, I know I look young, 319 00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,897 but do you really think I pass for 16? 320 00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:11,999 No. I'll have Dorota find a dermatologist 321 00:12:12,032 --> 00:12:14,301 with some juvéderm, stat. 322 00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:16,036 Hey, I was in the neighborhood. 323 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,371 I thought you might, uh, enjoy some coffee. 324 00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:19,983 Maybe I'd be more believable if Dan was my date. 325 00:12:20,007 --> 00:12:21,141 (Chuckles) 326 00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:22,843 No real Deb would ever be caught dead 327 00:12:22,876 --> 00:12:24,778 with an escort from an outer borough. 328 00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:26,146 Dominick dunne was from Hartford, 329 00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:27,781 and he was considered high society. 330 00:12:27,815 --> 00:12:29,058 Your Chuck chapter is my favorite. 331 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,217 Thank you. 332 00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:31,985 What, you put out a Chuck chapter? 333 00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:35,122 After I gave you your first decent place to live? 334 00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:37,057 Go. Pack your things. 335 00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,259 Don't you want to read it before you kick me out? 336 00:12:39,292 --> 00:12:42,195 I read Nate's chapter, and you were supposed to be his friend. 337 00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:46,033 You hate Chuck and everything to do with me in relation to Chuck. 338 00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:47,467 That's not true. 339 00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:48,544 Yeah, don't worry, Blair. You're not even in it. 340 00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:50,037 What? That's impossible. 341 00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:53,273 There is no Chuck bass chapter without Blair Waldorf. 342 00:12:53,306 --> 00:12:55,418 There is, while he focuses on his battle with his father, 343 00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:56,877 which is what the chapter's about. 344 00:12:56,910 --> 00:12:58,445 Dan made him seem like a superhero 345 00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,313 single-mindedly fighting evil. 346 00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:01,949 Ask Chuck if he's upset about it 347 00:13:01,982 --> 00:13:03,026 when he picks you up for cotillion. 348 00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:05,285 Chuck's not going to cotillion. 349 00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:06,429 Oh. Oh, that's right. That's right. I'm sorry. 350 00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:07,563 I forgot you two can't be together 351 00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:08,688 until he achieves his goal. 352 00:13:08,721 --> 00:13:11,158 And I achieve mine, which you are distracting me from. 353 00:13:11,191 --> 00:13:12,325 Bye, Jessica. 354 00:13:12,359 --> 00:13:13,426 Okay, bye. (Chuckles) 355 00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:14,928 Hey! Psst! 356 00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:17,898 Thanks for coming over, darling. 357 00:13:17,931 --> 00:13:19,299 I thought you still might be upset 358 00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:22,002 about my brief dalliance with Steven. 359 00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:24,171 Oh, well, I definitely wish it never happened, 360 00:13:24,204 --> 00:13:26,006 but I think if he can forget about it, 361 00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:27,908 then we should all try, too. 362 00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:30,043 Especially since, um, 363 00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:32,913 I think he might propose to me soon. 364 00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:36,016 Oh, I had a feeling. You know, he called me earlier 365 00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:38,085 and said he wanted to meet before cotillion. 366 00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:40,320 He said he had something important to ask me. 367 00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:41,922 Oh! (Laughs) 368 00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:44,024 Oh, my gosh! He really is doing it. 369 00:13:44,057 --> 00:13:47,027 Are... are you sure this is what you want? 370 00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:49,462 I mean, I never really thought about it, 371 00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:53,166 but once I saw that ring, I-I literally got butterflies. 372 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:55,903 Well, diamonds seem to have that effect, but... 373 00:13:55,936 --> 00:13:57,170 (Laughs) 374 00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:59,572 You're just... You're still so young and... 375 00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:02,275 I know, but Steven's not. 376 00:14:02,309 --> 00:14:04,611 He... he's an adult, and he treats me like one. 377 00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:07,347 And, you know, this is the first honest, healthy relationship 378 00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:08,949 I've ever had. 379 00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:10,483 It just doesn't seem that long ago 380 00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,585 that you were in love with Dan. 381 00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:14,922 And now that Rufus and I aren't together, well, 382 00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:16,032 I thought you two might be. 383 00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:19,326 Yeah, well, I-I thought that for a little while, too. 384 00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:22,495 But, you know, then Dan and I had that huge falling out, 385 00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:24,131 and I met Steven... 386 00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:27,935 Mom, you're gonna say "yes," right? 387 00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,612 Oh, lord knows it doesn't matter what I say. 388 00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:31,247 You're gonna do exactly what you wanna do. 389 00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:32,405 (Both laugh) 390 00:14:32,439 --> 00:14:34,041 Oh, thank you. 391 00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:36,409 I should probably go get a manicure 392 00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:37,520 so that my hands look perfect. 393 00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,079 Absolutely. (Laughs) 394 00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:40,047 (Laughs) I'll see you at cotillion. 395 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,614 (Kisses) Oh. 396 00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:45,953 Pull it tighter. 397 00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:48,388 We need the illusion of a youthful jawline. 398 00:14:48,421 --> 00:14:51,024 Good luck with the old chick. 399 00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:53,393 In some countries, old people are considered beautiful. 400 00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:54,962 Mm, not this one. 401 00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:57,297 Shouldn't you be at the Waldorf astoria, 402 00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,266 donning that doily dress? 403 00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:01,601 I just found out my father's proposing to Serena tonight. 404 00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:03,370 That is so exciting! 405 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:04,613 We'll all get to be there to witness it. 406 00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:06,673 Yes, and be upstaged. 407 00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:08,641 I thought you'd want to stop that from happening, 408 00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:11,111 in exchange for me wearing your dress, of course. 409 00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:13,947 Well, you consider yourself a master manipulator. 410 00:15:13,981 --> 00:15:15,715 Why not squash the proposal yourself? 411 00:15:15,748 --> 00:15:17,426 Come on, Blair. We all know from "gossip girl" 412 00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:20,153 there's no one better at taking down Serena than you. 413 00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:23,290 That is true, but I would need a 2-tiered plan, 414 00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:24,958 some kind of protection. 415 00:15:24,992 --> 00:15:28,295 Your generation can't be trusted with scheming on good faith. 416 00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:29,696 I promise I'll behave. 417 00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,664 Just please stop her from marrying my dad. 418 00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,035 Okay. Fine. 419 00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:37,704 I will delay the proposal for tonight, 420 00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:40,040 and if you keep your promise and I get my buyers, 421 00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:42,976 then we can discuss ending their engagement plans for good. 422 00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:44,320 Oh, do we get to climb fire escapes 423 00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:46,446 and wear stockings on our heads for that part? 424 00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:47,981 Yes, Jessica. 425 00:15:48,015 --> 00:15:50,183 Go get outfitted and... and wait for my signal. 426 00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:53,353 Okay, great. Okay. (Whispers indistinctly) 427 00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:54,763 She's not actually gonna be wearing... 428 00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,057 No. No. She was just annoying me. 429 00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:59,192 Hey! Bring in the dress! 430 00:15:59,226 --> 00:16:01,261 It needs to be refitted. 431 00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:06,166 I sprayed your Cologne, 432 00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:08,335 and I put a copy of Bart's will you gave me 433 00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:09,502 on Lily's desk. 434 00:16:09,536 --> 00:16:11,071 He'll be furious with her if he thinks 435 00:16:11,104 --> 00:16:13,506 we're conspiring to reclaim his empire. 436 00:16:13,540 --> 00:16:15,375 Now fill a glass with scotch. 437 00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:20,213 Now drink it. 438 00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:21,981 I wouldn't leave a drop. 439 00:16:24,417 --> 00:16:25,485 (Elevator bell dings) 440 00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:26,619 Hello? 441 00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,255 (Beep) 442 00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:30,290 Who the hell are you? 443 00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:40,433 (Cell phone rings) 444 00:16:40,467 --> 00:16:42,235 Blair, what a nice surprise. 445 00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:43,603 Hello, Lily. 446 00:16:43,636 --> 00:16:44,771 I wish I could say the same 447 00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:46,773 about Serena's impending proposal. 448 00:16:46,806 --> 00:16:48,108 Has she discussed it with you? 449 00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:49,576 Oh, she has. She seems thrilled. 450 00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:52,245 Need I say more? 451 00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:55,382 Serena's enthusiasm is like the bat signal for bad ideas. 452 00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:57,117 It's sudden, I know, 453 00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:58,651 but she does seem happy. 454 00:16:58,685 --> 00:17:00,753 But doesn't she always 455 00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,089 when she's with a new guy? 456 00:17:02,122 --> 00:17:04,057 Dan, Nate, 457 00:17:04,091 --> 00:17:05,758 Colin, Ben. 458 00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:08,361 Oh, she is a romantic, bless her tender heart. 459 00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:11,531 But, Lily, you and I are realists. 460 00:17:11,564 --> 00:17:13,366 We need to look after her 461 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,635 because she isn't capable of looking after herself. 462 00:17:15,668 --> 00:17:16,845 (Frank ocean's "lost" playing) 463 00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,371 Thank you, Blair. 464 00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:20,273 I appreciate your input. 465 00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:21,574 Bye. 466 00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:23,576 ♪ India, lost on a train 467 00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:25,145 ♪ lost 468 00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:27,814 Lily. Thanks for coming to meet me. 469 00:17:27,847 --> 00:17:30,317 I know it's old-fashioned, but with our... history 470 00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:32,219 and Serena's father not being a constant... 471 00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:35,122 You want my permission to marry my daughter. 472 00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:38,791 ♪ Los Angeles, India, lost on a train ♪ 473 00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:39,826 ♪ Lost 474 00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:41,361 mission accomplished. 475 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:42,505 How do you know you convinced her? 476 00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:45,432 All I have to do is subtly suggest Serena needs saving, 477 00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:47,667 and Lily jumps into protective mother mode, 478 00:17:47,700 --> 00:17:50,103 ready to do anything to shield her precious daughter 479 00:17:50,137 --> 00:17:51,738 from another relationship gone wrong. 480 00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:53,506 She even had one guy sent to prison. 481 00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:55,575 Well, my dad better not end up in lock up, 482 00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:57,510 but I hope you're right about the rest. 483 00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:58,878 I am, and just in case, 484 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,480 we have your part of the plan as backup. 485 00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:02,415 Everything's in motion. 486 00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:05,418 ♪ Lost 487 00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:10,260 you can either tell me who you are or you can tell the police. 488 00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:11,858 No, please, no police. 489 00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:14,527 My mother Larissa just sent me over to clean something 490 00:18:14,561 --> 00:18:15,728 for Mrs. Lily. 491 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:17,864 She's sick, 492 00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:20,200 but Mrs. Lily called and said it was an emergency. 493 00:18:20,233 --> 00:18:22,202 (Beeps) 494 00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:24,471 And, uh, that's what needed cleaning? 495 00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:28,608 Mrs. Lily said no one else was supposed to see. 496 00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:31,211 "Mrs. Lily" doesn't pay your mother's salary. 497 00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:33,513 I do. 498 00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:36,449 (Sighs) 499 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:44,157 (Sniffs) 500 00:18:44,191 --> 00:18:46,125 Chuck. 501 00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:49,229 That'll be all. 502 00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:06,779 Wow. You look beautiful. 503 00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:08,948 You're quite the dapper Dan yourself. 504 00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:10,950 Unfortunately, Jessica's off somewhere 505 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,385 with pantyhose on her head, 506 00:19:12,419 --> 00:19:13,820 so she no longer requires an escort. 507 00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:16,923 I'm... I'm not gonna ask, but I'm not dressed for Jessica. 508 00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:21,194 I know Chuck's busy, and no one should go to cotillion alone. 509 00:19:21,228 --> 00:19:24,331 Well, I suppose I could overlook your upbringing 510 00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:26,533 now that you're a regular feature in "vanity fair." 511 00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:31,938 (Cell phone alert chimes) 512 00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:40,213 (Cell phone alert chimes) 513 00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:44,351 Spotted... one man leaving Harry Winston empty-handed. 514 00:19:44,384 --> 00:19:46,286 Steven Spence walked in with a ring 515 00:19:46,319 --> 00:19:48,655 and left without one. 516 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:52,191 I wonder what... or who... He's returning. 517 00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:58,631 (Frank ocean) ♪ sweet life 518 00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:02,335 ♪ sweet life, sweet life 519 00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:05,738 ♪ sweet life, sweet life 520 00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:08,841 ♪ the sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet life ♪ 521 00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,410 Where's the Blair chapter? 522 00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:12,279 Why do you care? 523 00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:13,889 Chuck just posted, and the next chapter's not due for a week. 524 00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:16,516 Maybe to "vanity fair," but I want it now. 525 00:20:16,549 --> 00:20:17,817 I know you, Humphrey. 526 00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:19,952 I'm not gonna let you turn our scathing exposé 527 00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:20,953 into a sentimental sonnet 528 00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:23,590 because of your delusional feelings for Blair. 529 00:20:23,623 --> 00:20:25,992 Why are you so sure that I'm delusional and not determined? 530 00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:27,627 She did date me. 531 00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:30,497 Briefly, after she lost her prince and her mind. 532 00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:32,675 And now she wears that adorable engagement ring from Chuck 533 00:20:32,699 --> 00:20:33,833 around her neck. 534 00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:35,001 Not on her finger. 535 00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:36,403 That shoulder, arm, and torso space 536 00:20:36,436 --> 00:20:37,804 is my window to win her back. 537 00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:39,339 Now if you'll excuse me. 538 00:20:39,372 --> 00:20:40,740 Not so fast. 539 00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:42,942 Either lose the romance notions, 540 00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:45,011 or I'll lose them for you. 541 00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:48,881 Where did you get that? 542 00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:50,016 Hmm. Serena's phone. 543 00:20:50,049 --> 00:20:53,453 Looks like you two share a nostalgia for long-lost loves. 544 00:20:53,486 --> 00:20:54,754 Excuse me. Sorry. 545 00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:56,856 I bet she still uses it to get off. 546 00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:59,359 I know I do. 547 00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:00,536 You can't show that to Blair. 548 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:01,570 Unless you want Blair to hate you forever 549 00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:02,762 for screwing her best friend 550 00:21:02,795 --> 00:21:03,906 while you two were still together, 551 00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:05,298 you'll get me those pages. 552 00:21:05,332 --> 00:21:07,800 I'm doing this for your own good. 553 00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:09,969 There's no Viagra to save a career that's gone soft. 554 00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:11,638 Okay, just give me until midnight. 555 00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:15,775 Only because I love "cinderfella." (Sighs) 556 00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:16,943 Oh! 557 00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:18,336 Oh! I'm so sorry! (Whispers) Sorry. 558 00:21:22,882 --> 00:21:24,384 (Beep) 559 00:21:24,417 --> 00:21:25,918 (Laughs) 560 00:21:25,952 --> 00:21:28,388 ♪ Mango, peaches, and lime, a sweet life ♪ 561 00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:33,526 ♪ Sweet life 562 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:34,927 ♪ sweet life 563 00:21:34,961 --> 00:21:36,496 ♪ yeah 564 00:21:36,529 --> 00:21:38,531 (scoffs) Why did I ask a peasant's advice 565 00:21:38,565 --> 00:21:40,667 on how to dress royalty? 566 00:21:40,700 --> 00:21:42,535 Your shock and amaze plan had better work. 567 00:21:42,569 --> 00:21:43,403 I'm counting on it. 568 00:21:43,436 --> 00:21:45,705 ♪ Sweet life 569 00:21:45,738 --> 00:21:46,906 (gasps) 570 00:21:46,939 --> 00:21:48,074 You came. 571 00:21:48,107 --> 00:21:50,810 Blair, you look devastating, as always. 572 00:21:50,843 --> 00:21:52,379 And, Humphrey, 573 00:21:52,412 --> 00:21:54,447 I see you immortalized me once again in print. 574 00:21:54,481 --> 00:21:56,783 Should I be concerned about your level of obsession? 575 00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:59,419 Not at all. I find your battle with your father inspiring. 576 00:21:59,452 --> 00:22:02,088 It's the stuff myths are made of, like Zeus and cronus. 577 00:22:02,121 --> 00:22:03,456 It never ends. 578 00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:05,692 Until Zeus wins and comes to be with hera. 579 00:22:05,725 --> 00:22:08,495 Actually, Zeus tricked hera into being with him... 580 00:22:08,528 --> 00:22:09,662 After he raped her. 581 00:22:09,696 --> 00:22:11,698 (Inhales deeply) Enough about the gods. 582 00:22:11,731 --> 00:22:13,700 Let's drink. 583 00:22:13,733 --> 00:22:15,935 I'm sorry, Blair. I can't. I'm here to speak with Lily. 584 00:22:15,968 --> 00:22:18,438 I'm betting Bart will come, too, to confront her. 585 00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:20,449 I'm hoping after that she'll join my battle against him. 586 00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:21,841 Have you seen her? 587 00:22:21,874 --> 00:22:24,511 No, but go find her and imprison cronus. 588 00:22:24,544 --> 00:22:25,845 The sooner the better. 589 00:22:25,878 --> 00:22:31,117 ♪♪ 590 00:22:31,150 --> 00:22:32,819 (Sighs) 591 00:22:32,852 --> 00:22:35,822 Go find us a prime viewing spot. 592 00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:37,724 I need to speak with Sage. 593 00:22:37,757 --> 00:22:39,001 ♪ ...housekeeper since you were born ♪ 594 00:22:39,025 --> 00:22:41,127 Thank you. 595 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,662 Serena! 596 00:22:42,695 --> 00:22:44,096 You look lovely. 597 00:22:44,130 --> 00:22:47,066 Did you deny Steven permission to propose to me? 598 00:22:47,099 --> 00:22:49,436 Well, I wouldn't exactly phrase it that way. 599 00:22:49,469 --> 00:22:52,739 I did express concern that you might not be ready for marriage. 600 00:22:52,772 --> 00:22:55,117 Oh, how would you know? Were you ready all six times you did it? 601 00:22:55,141 --> 00:22:58,010 Look, I'm sorry that you're upset, Serena, 602 00:22:58,044 --> 00:22:59,979 but I'm not the only one that had misgivings. 603 00:23:00,012 --> 00:23:02,749 I mean, Blair called and shared hers as well. 604 00:23:02,782 --> 00:23:04,517 Blair has no right to share anything. 605 00:23:04,551 --> 00:23:07,954 We're not even friends anymore. You knew how much I wanted this. 606 00:23:07,987 --> 00:23:10,022 I knew you wanted someone, 607 00:23:10,056 --> 00:23:11,958 but let's face it, Serena. 608 00:23:11,991 --> 00:23:14,627 You don't have boyfriends. You have life rafts. 609 00:23:14,661 --> 00:23:17,897 That you keep taking from me and... and leaving me to drown. 610 00:23:17,930 --> 00:23:19,732 First you got together with Rufus 611 00:23:19,766 --> 00:23:20,809 so that I could never be with Dan, 612 00:23:20,833 --> 00:23:22,735 and now you're jealous that some man 613 00:23:22,769 --> 00:23:25,572 that doesn't remember sleeping with you is in love with me. 614 00:23:25,605 --> 00:23:27,607 I'm not gonna let you ruin this. 615 00:23:29,776 --> 00:23:31,844 Girls, I need your personal statements. 616 00:23:31,878 --> 00:23:34,180 Bunny raburn, I hope you included your ballet photos. 617 00:23:34,213 --> 00:23:35,815 Ask my mom. She made it. 618 00:23:35,848 --> 00:23:36,983 Oh. 619 00:23:37,016 --> 00:23:37,950 Thank you, Sage. 620 00:23:37,984 --> 00:23:39,886 Congratulations on your academic accolades. 621 00:23:39,919 --> 00:23:40,987 (Chuckles) 622 00:23:41,020 --> 00:23:42,831 Which clearly have nothing to do with intelligence. 623 00:23:42,855 --> 00:23:43,856 (Sighs) 624 00:23:43,890 --> 00:23:46,058 Why is Serena here? I told you to keep her away. 625 00:23:46,092 --> 00:23:49,128 I did what you said. I used my dad's phone to uninvite her, 626 00:23:49,161 --> 00:23:52,198 and I had him take the ring my mom sent me to get resized, 627 00:23:52,231 --> 00:23:54,567 and I had my minions send a picture to "gossip girl." 628 00:23:54,601 --> 00:23:55,802 Your plan just sucked. 629 00:23:55,835 --> 00:23:58,104 My plan does not suck. 630 00:23:58,137 --> 00:23:59,071 We'll just have to come up with a new one. 631 00:23:59,105 --> 00:24:00,807 (Scoffs) I already have. 632 00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:02,575 Don't worry. I'll be shocking in your dress, 633 00:24:02,609 --> 00:24:04,152 and Serena will never be my evil stepmom. 634 00:24:04,176 --> 00:24:07,747 Now I have to find my date. 635 00:24:07,780 --> 00:24:09,015 ♪♪ 636 00:24:09,048 --> 00:24:10,483 Bart. 637 00:24:10,517 --> 00:24:13,085 What a nice surprise. I wasn't expecting you. 638 00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:14,830 Just like you weren't expecting me to find out 639 00:24:14,854 --> 00:24:16,589 about your secret meeting with Chuck? 640 00:24:16,623 --> 00:24:17,990 Ah. I knew you'd be upset. 641 00:24:18,024 --> 00:24:20,627 You know, he tracked me down while I was shopping. 642 00:24:20,660 --> 00:24:23,138 So you invited him back to our apartment to go through my will? 643 00:24:23,162 --> 00:24:25,565 I have no idea what you're referring to. 644 00:24:25,598 --> 00:24:26,966 Charles was not in our apartment. 645 00:24:26,999 --> 00:24:29,536 I told him I wasn't comfortable speaking with him 646 00:24:29,569 --> 00:24:30,837 until he made things right. 647 00:24:30,870 --> 00:24:33,005 Stop lying to me, Lily. 648 00:24:33,039 --> 00:24:36,242 I caught Larissa's daughter cleaning up after you. 649 00:24:36,275 --> 00:24:38,745 Bart, Larissa's daughter is 4. 650 00:24:41,247 --> 00:24:43,583 Then who was the 20-something blonde I caught 651 00:24:43,616 --> 00:24:45,284 with Chuck's scotch glass? 652 00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:48,087 Ah. Let me guess. 653 00:24:48,120 --> 00:24:50,990 5'4", slim, could pass as Serena's cousin? 654 00:24:51,023 --> 00:24:53,159 Ivy. She's the same one 655 00:24:53,192 --> 00:24:55,528 that leaked those nasty rumors about me last week. 656 00:25:00,767 --> 00:25:03,135 Charles, how could you, 657 00:25:03,169 --> 00:25:06,072 after everything I've done to try to make peace? 658 00:25:06,105 --> 00:25:07,874 I don't want peace. 659 00:25:07,907 --> 00:25:11,744 I want you to help me make him pay for what he did. 660 00:25:11,778 --> 00:25:13,580 Put a silver spoon in your mouth? 661 00:25:13,613 --> 00:25:16,015 Or raise you as a single parent? 662 00:25:16,048 --> 00:25:18,150 Which one do you want to punish me for first, son? 663 00:25:18,184 --> 00:25:19,886 Lily, you have to trust me. 664 00:25:19,919 --> 00:25:22,154 You are aiding and abetting a criminal. 665 00:25:22,188 --> 00:25:23,623 Charles, that's enough. 666 00:25:23,656 --> 00:25:25,892 Do you want to end up like Ruth madoff, 667 00:25:25,925 --> 00:25:28,127 losing your son to defend your husband? 668 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:29,996 I don't want to lose anyone, Charles, 669 00:25:30,029 --> 00:25:32,098 but you're leaving me no choice. 670 00:25:32,131 --> 00:25:36,068 I'm going to get my coat. 671 00:25:38,237 --> 00:25:39,939 What can I say? 672 00:25:39,972 --> 00:25:43,943 Marriage has its privileges. (Chuckles) 673 00:25:43,976 --> 00:25:46,212 (Frank ocean's "pyramids" playing) 674 00:25:50,116 --> 00:25:52,351 ♪ We'll run to the future 675 00:25:52,384 --> 00:25:54,687 ♪ shining like diamonds 676 00:25:54,721 --> 00:25:57,323 ♪ in a rocky world 677 00:25:57,356 --> 00:25:59,592 I'd like to welcome you all 678 00:25:59,626 --> 00:26:02,995 to the dispensary cotillion and debutante ball. 679 00:26:03,029 --> 00:26:05,832 (Cheers and applause) 680 00:26:05,865 --> 00:26:06,799 (Amplified voice) Our first debutante 681 00:26:06,833 --> 00:26:08,835 is Jillian fremont. 682 00:26:08,868 --> 00:26:11,370 Jillian is the daughter of Winston and... 683 00:26:11,403 --> 00:26:13,172 (Serena) Steven. 684 00:26:13,205 --> 00:26:14,340 Sorry. 685 00:26:14,373 --> 00:26:16,208 Serena! There you are. 686 00:26:16,242 --> 00:26:17,953 (Scoffs) Whatever it is, Blair, I don't have time. 687 00:26:17,977 --> 00:26:20,355 I have to try to stop you and my mom from destroying my proposal. 688 00:26:20,379 --> 00:26:22,081 Not destroy, 689 00:26:22,114 --> 00:26:23,358 just delay long enough for Sage to wear my dress. 690 00:26:23,382 --> 00:26:25,184 She really doesn't want you as a stepmom, 691 00:26:25,217 --> 00:26:26,886 and I only have a month to win back buyers 692 00:26:26,919 --> 00:26:29,021 after you walked out of my fashion show. 693 00:26:29,055 --> 00:26:30,833 Oh, so you get to ruin my future to sell dresses? 694 00:26:30,857 --> 00:26:32,725 Yeah, that's justified. 695 00:26:32,759 --> 00:26:33,893 What difference does it make 696 00:26:33,926 --> 00:26:35,995 if your engagement comes a few days late, 697 00:26:36,028 --> 00:26:37,964 after I have Waldorf designs back on track? 698 00:26:37,997 --> 00:26:39,699 Don't you get it? 699 00:26:39,732 --> 00:26:42,368 It's not coming. Whatever you did made Steven return the ring. 700 00:26:42,401 --> 00:26:43,970 (Sighs) 701 00:26:44,003 --> 00:26:45,705 You mean that picture on "gossip girl." 702 00:26:45,738 --> 00:26:49,041 Sage's mom sent her a ring as a gift. 703 00:26:49,075 --> 00:26:50,977 He was at Harry Winston getting it resized. 704 00:26:51,010 --> 00:26:53,780 This was all part of a very well-thought out plan. 705 00:26:53,813 --> 00:26:55,314 It was? 706 00:26:55,347 --> 00:26:57,283 Yes. He still has the ring 707 00:26:57,316 --> 00:26:59,385 because he still wants to marry you. 708 00:26:59,418 --> 00:27:02,021 Do you really think so? 709 00:27:02,054 --> 00:27:03,389 (Sighs) Of course. 710 00:27:03,422 --> 00:27:05,124 Have you ever met yourself? 711 00:27:05,157 --> 00:27:06,726 Any man who loves Serena Van Der Woodsen 712 00:27:06,759 --> 00:27:08,661 would never let Lily or anyone else 713 00:27:08,695 --> 00:27:09,862 tell him not to be with her. 714 00:27:09,896 --> 00:27:11,764 (Chuckles) 715 00:27:13,432 --> 00:27:15,101 You know, when I saw that ring, 716 00:27:15,134 --> 00:27:17,436 you were the only person I wanted to talk to about it. 717 00:27:17,469 --> 00:27:19,138 (Scoffs) 718 00:27:19,171 --> 00:27:22,108 Well, I would never try to take away your happiness. 719 00:27:22,141 --> 00:27:23,843 Well, at least not permanently. 720 00:27:23,876 --> 00:27:25,011 (Laughs) 721 00:27:25,044 --> 00:27:26,779 If you love him and it's meant to be, 722 00:27:26,813 --> 00:27:28,715 then I want it, too. 723 00:27:28,748 --> 00:27:32,018 Unfortunately, kids today are not like we were. 724 00:27:32,051 --> 00:27:33,886 They're unpredictable and alliance-free. 725 00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:36,055 There is no line they won't cross. 726 00:27:36,088 --> 00:27:38,166 You know, I thought Sage was really starting to like me. 727 00:27:38,190 --> 00:27:40,760 Well, you were wrong, and now she's gone rogue. 728 00:27:40,793 --> 00:27:43,329 She's come up with a plan of her own that I am scared 729 00:27:43,362 --> 00:27:44,439 is more dastardly than even I can imagine. 730 00:27:44,463 --> 00:27:46,265 You have to warn Steven. 731 00:27:46,298 --> 00:27:48,367 I will, right after I tell him 732 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:50,837 I love him and that I want to marry him. 733 00:27:50,870 --> 00:27:52,972 (Laughs) Thank you, b. 734 00:27:53,005 --> 00:27:55,074 Now go. I wanna be a bridesmaid. 735 00:27:57,176 --> 00:27:58,911 (Sighs) 736 00:27:58,945 --> 00:28:00,913 Our next debutante is bunny raburn. 737 00:28:00,947 --> 00:28:02,448 (Camera shutters clicking) 738 00:28:02,481 --> 00:28:04,416 Bunny is the daughter of Jim and Fran raburn. 739 00:28:04,450 --> 00:28:06,452 (Whispers) Ticktock. 740 00:28:06,485 --> 00:28:07,920 She's escorted by Tom grand. 741 00:28:07,954 --> 00:28:09,021 (Sighs) 742 00:28:09,055 --> 00:28:10,298 Bunny began to dance as a toddler... 743 00:28:10,322 --> 00:28:12,058 Hey. How you feeling? 744 00:28:12,091 --> 00:28:13,993 Like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. 745 00:28:14,026 --> 00:28:16,071 She founded a cooking school for disadvantaged youth... 746 00:28:16,095 --> 00:28:17,163 Hey. 747 00:28:17,196 --> 00:28:18,397 Oh, there you are. 748 00:28:18,430 --> 00:28:20,132 I'm glad you made it. 749 00:28:20,166 --> 00:28:23,102 So I-I take it you didn't uninvite me either? 750 00:28:23,135 --> 00:28:25,271 Of course not. What are you talking about? 751 00:28:25,304 --> 00:28:27,173 Well, I know about the engagement ring, 752 00:28:27,206 --> 00:28:30,142 and I don't care about my mom's permission. 753 00:28:30,176 --> 00:28:31,077 Neither do I. 754 00:28:31,110 --> 00:28:32,511 (Chuckles) 755 00:28:32,544 --> 00:28:33,946 (Both laugh) 756 00:28:33,980 --> 00:28:37,249 Our next debutante is Sage Spence. 757 00:28:37,283 --> 00:28:38,751 You ready for this? 758 00:28:38,785 --> 00:28:40,519 I can hardly wait. 759 00:28:40,552 --> 00:28:42,054 (Guests gasping and murmuring) 760 00:28:42,088 --> 00:28:45,024 Sage is the daughter of Paulette and Steven Spence. 761 00:28:45,057 --> 00:28:48,427 She's escorted by Nathaniel Archibald. 762 00:28:48,460 --> 00:28:51,397 (Guests murmuring) 763 00:28:51,430 --> 00:28:52,765 I always knew you could do dirty. 764 00:28:52,799 --> 00:28:54,533 Provocative. 765 00:28:54,566 --> 00:28:57,970 We do make a good team. 766 00:28:58,004 --> 00:28:59,471 (Woman) Her love of horseback riding 767 00:28:59,505 --> 00:29:00,849 started on the central park carousel... 768 00:29:00,873 --> 00:29:02,141 Uh... 769 00:29:02,174 --> 00:29:06,112 Uh... (Murmurs indistinctly) 770 00:29:06,145 --> 00:29:08,214 (Woman) What are you doing? Help me! 771 00:29:08,247 --> 00:29:09,949 Ed, black it out! 772 00:29:09,982 --> 00:29:14,053 Can we please turn off the screen? 773 00:29:14,086 --> 00:29:15,287 No! No! 774 00:29:15,321 --> 00:29:16,789 Stop that! 775 00:29:16,823 --> 00:29:17,756 (Dan) That's weird. Your camera's on. 776 00:29:17,790 --> 00:29:18,934 (Serena) Uh, no, no, it's not. 777 00:29:18,958 --> 00:29:20,993 Whoa, I think it was recording us, actually. 778 00:29:21,027 --> 00:29:22,494 Oh, gosh. Maybe i-i... 779 00:29:22,528 --> 00:29:23,462 Blair, I can explain this. 780 00:29:23,495 --> 00:29:25,264 Here, let me erase it. 781 00:29:25,297 --> 00:29:26,408 You manipulated me into thinking that it was over 782 00:29:26,432 --> 00:29:28,267 so I would cheat on her. 783 00:29:28,300 --> 00:29:31,137 (Gossip girl) I said I'd never mention s. Again, 784 00:29:31,170 --> 00:29:34,173 but what's a movie without credits? 785 00:29:39,912 --> 00:29:42,815 Why don't we start the dancing early, huh? 786 00:29:42,849 --> 00:29:44,450 Dancing. Dancing would be good. 787 00:29:44,483 --> 00:29:48,921 (Classical music playing) 788 00:29:48,955 --> 00:29:51,223 Sage did this. She told Blair she had a plan. 789 00:29:51,257 --> 00:29:53,435 What, the same Blair who put her in a fashion show half-naked? 790 00:29:53,459 --> 00:29:55,027 No, Sage did that, too. 791 00:29:55,061 --> 00:29:57,429 You cannot let her sabotage our relationship. 792 00:29:57,463 --> 00:29:59,899 Excuse me if I don't take parenting advice 793 00:29:59,932 --> 00:30:02,044 from a woman who recorded herself having sex with her ex 794 00:30:02,068 --> 00:30:03,569 to get revenge on her best friend. 795 00:30:03,602 --> 00:30:05,872 I know that that was wrong. I was in a really bad place, 796 00:30:05,905 --> 00:30:08,007 which is why I left town in the first place... 797 00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,309 To get a fresh start, which I had with you. 798 00:30:10,342 --> 00:30:12,044 This doesn't change us. 799 00:30:12,078 --> 00:30:13,078 It changes everything. 800 00:30:15,915 --> 00:30:19,919 So the whole time you refused to speak to me for choosing Chuck, 801 00:30:19,952 --> 00:30:21,353 you were cheating on me with Serena. 802 00:30:21,387 --> 00:30:22,922 It was only once. 803 00:30:22,955 --> 00:30:24,332 And you... you heard the tape. She manipulated me into it. 804 00:30:24,356 --> 00:30:27,093 In order to claim date rape, you have to say "no." 805 00:30:27,126 --> 00:30:29,028 Look, she told me you chose Chuck, 806 00:30:29,061 --> 00:30:30,372 which turns out wasn't even a lie. 807 00:30:30,396 --> 00:30:32,140 You just didn't have the decency to tell me yourself. 808 00:30:32,164 --> 00:30:33,399 I intended to, 809 00:30:33,432 --> 00:30:36,936 but I respected you enough not to sleep with him until I did. 810 00:30:36,969 --> 00:30:38,337 I thought Chuck sleeping with Jenny 811 00:30:38,370 --> 00:30:40,606 was the most despicable thing someone could do to me. 812 00:30:40,639 --> 00:30:42,474 But this is worse, 813 00:30:42,508 --> 00:30:45,111 because you pretended to be better. 814 00:30:46,946 --> 00:30:48,490 At least I ended up with the right person. 815 00:30:48,514 --> 00:30:51,217 You ended up with no one. 816 00:30:51,250 --> 00:30:53,361 Chuck will never be finished fighting with his father, 817 00:30:53,385 --> 00:30:54,562 and that ring around your neck 818 00:30:54,586 --> 00:30:56,222 is never gonna be on your finger. 819 00:30:56,255 --> 00:30:59,959 I would rather be with no one than with you. 820 00:31:02,328 --> 00:31:04,596 (Sighs) 821 00:31:04,630 --> 00:31:06,441 What the hell happened to waiting until midnight? 822 00:31:06,465 --> 00:31:07,599 I was going to. 823 00:31:07,633 --> 00:31:09,268 That little bitch Sage stole my phone. 824 00:31:09,301 --> 00:31:11,637 W-what did I... What did I ever do to her? 825 00:31:11,670 --> 00:31:13,648 Well, from what I've heard over debs hurling in the bathroom, 826 00:31:13,672 --> 00:31:15,942 she wanted to stop her daddy from marrying Serena. 827 00:31:15,975 --> 00:31:17,509 The surprise ending for your serial 828 00:31:17,543 --> 00:31:18,945 was just collateral damage. 829 00:31:18,978 --> 00:31:21,180 Well, you still got what you wanted. 830 00:31:21,213 --> 00:31:22,614 Blair hates me forever. 831 00:31:22,648 --> 00:31:24,350 I'm gonna go get the next chapter. 832 00:31:24,383 --> 00:31:25,684 Bring it to me here. 833 00:31:25,717 --> 00:31:30,189 Hmm. I forgot how much I love being 16. 834 00:31:30,222 --> 00:31:36,395 ♪♪ 835 00:31:36,428 --> 00:31:38,330 Tell me this isn't your best cotillion ever. 836 00:31:38,364 --> 00:31:39,331 Oh, are you kidding me? 837 00:31:39,365 --> 00:31:41,500 This is worse than when I punched Carter Baizen. 838 00:31:41,533 --> 00:31:44,403 Excuse me, mini me. 839 00:31:44,436 --> 00:31:45,471 My phone? 840 00:31:45,504 --> 00:31:48,174 Oh. Is this yours? 841 00:31:48,207 --> 00:31:50,376 Hmm. Skip the innocent act. 842 00:31:50,409 --> 00:31:51,710 I admire your way with an antic. 843 00:31:51,743 --> 00:31:54,680 If you're ever in the need of employment, call me. 844 00:31:56,983 --> 00:31:59,151 Wait. You broadcast the sex tape? 845 00:31:59,185 --> 00:32:00,953 Would you want your father to marry Serena? 846 00:32:00,987 --> 00:32:02,588 She's my friend. You humiliated her. 847 00:32:02,621 --> 00:32:04,456 I didn't force her to do it for the camera. 848 00:32:04,490 --> 00:32:06,192 I simply reported it, 849 00:32:06,225 --> 00:32:08,494 like you did with my dad and Lily on "the spectator." 850 00:32:08,527 --> 00:32:10,729 That's a newspaper, not a society gala. 851 00:32:10,762 --> 00:32:12,298 And I didn't do it to hurt them. 852 00:32:12,331 --> 00:32:14,200 You know what? 853 00:32:14,233 --> 00:32:16,078 You may be legal, but this is way too high school for me. 854 00:32:16,102 --> 00:32:17,569 Nate! Nate, where are you going? 855 00:32:17,603 --> 00:32:19,338 We were in the middle of a dance! 856 00:32:26,278 --> 00:32:28,356 Ah, that's great. As long as they're done for the opening. 857 00:32:28,380 --> 00:32:29,248 (Door opens and closes) 858 00:32:29,281 --> 00:32:30,649 Thanks. 859 00:32:30,682 --> 00:32:33,252 That sounded positive. Are the floors okay? 860 00:32:33,285 --> 00:32:35,197 They were destroyed, but bex told an anonymous collector 861 00:32:35,221 --> 00:32:36,264 about the Cole James piece, 862 00:32:36,288 --> 00:32:38,991 which means now we have the money to replace them. 863 00:32:39,025 --> 00:32:41,994 Well, I knew everything would work out. 864 00:32:42,028 --> 00:32:43,729 I'm gonna go clean up so we can celebrate. 865 00:32:43,762 --> 00:32:46,365 And say "thanks" to bex for me, too. 866 00:32:46,398 --> 00:32:48,067 (Door opens) 867 00:32:48,100 --> 00:32:49,568 (Beep) 868 00:32:49,601 --> 00:32:51,470 (Door closes) 869 00:32:51,503 --> 00:32:54,173 Hi. Bex, I know you're not allowed to tell me 870 00:32:54,206 --> 00:32:56,742 who bought the piece, 871 00:32:56,775 --> 00:32:59,611 uh, but, uh, I'd like to send them an invitation 872 00:32:59,645 --> 00:33:01,647 and, uh, a thank-you note. 873 00:33:03,249 --> 00:33:05,251 A p.O. Box would be great. 874 00:33:11,123 --> 00:33:15,761 Wait. Are you s... Are you sure it's 76648? 875 00:33:15,794 --> 00:33:17,629 Yep, that's all I needed. Thanks. 876 00:33:17,663 --> 00:33:19,231 (Beep) 877 00:33:23,135 --> 00:33:24,236 I guess we learned 878 00:33:24,270 --> 00:33:26,205 what appalling thing Sage had planned. 879 00:33:26,238 --> 00:33:29,175 Sage? (Scoffs) You're the one who's appalling, 880 00:33:29,208 --> 00:33:30,342 and a lot of other words 881 00:33:30,376 --> 00:33:32,178 that I should not utter at a society gala. 882 00:33:32,211 --> 00:33:35,781 Blair, I-I know that that video was horrible, 883 00:33:35,814 --> 00:33:38,350 but you had already chosen Chuck. 884 00:33:38,384 --> 00:33:40,328 Did you know that when you took Dan to the Campbell apartment 885 00:33:40,352 --> 00:33:42,397 and set up a camera to seduce him for the whole world to see? 886 00:33:42,421 --> 00:33:44,499 No, it wasn't like that. A waitress had spilled on us, 887 00:33:44,523 --> 00:33:46,101 and... and... and so we went to clean up. 888 00:33:46,125 --> 00:33:47,526 I don't believe you. 889 00:33:47,559 --> 00:33:50,462 You took Nate's virginity on that bar, when I loved him. 890 00:33:50,496 --> 00:33:52,064 You just needed to prove 891 00:33:52,098 --> 00:33:54,133 that you could still take anyone I want. 892 00:33:54,166 --> 00:33:56,635 The only one you want is Chuck. 893 00:33:56,668 --> 00:33:58,770 I am so sorry, Blair. 894 00:33:58,804 --> 00:34:00,439 I made a mistake, but so did you 895 00:34:00,472 --> 00:34:03,475 when you teamed up with Sage to try to ruin my proposal. 896 00:34:03,509 --> 00:34:06,512 No. I stopped when I knew that you could really get hurt, 897 00:34:06,545 --> 00:34:08,247 but you didn't. 898 00:34:08,280 --> 00:34:10,516 You crossed the line and kept going. 899 00:34:10,549 --> 00:34:13,819 Only because I thought I loved Dan, and you didn't. 900 00:34:13,852 --> 00:34:16,122 You know, Serena, I kept hoping 901 00:34:16,155 --> 00:34:18,490 that this was just like all of our other fights, 902 00:34:18,524 --> 00:34:20,135 and that no matter how much we hated each other, 903 00:34:20,159 --> 00:34:22,328 we would still always be best friends. 904 00:34:22,361 --> 00:34:26,165 But you were right, what you said before my fashion show. 905 00:34:26,198 --> 00:34:28,867 We haven't been friends for a long time. 906 00:34:28,900 --> 00:34:31,403 I just couldn't see it. 907 00:34:31,437 --> 00:34:34,706 We all came into this world naked and alone. 908 00:34:34,740 --> 00:34:38,244 Looks like s. Is leaving it that way, too. 909 00:34:48,387 --> 00:34:51,290 What are you doing? 910 00:34:51,323 --> 00:34:53,425 You know, going through someone's mail 911 00:34:53,459 --> 00:34:55,194 is a federal offense. 912 00:34:55,227 --> 00:34:57,663 As is purchasing artwork with stolen funds. 913 00:34:57,696 --> 00:34:58,830 You wanna explain 914 00:34:58,864 --> 00:35:01,133 the bank account with all the zeroes? 915 00:35:01,167 --> 00:35:04,203 (Whispers) Okay. 916 00:35:04,236 --> 00:35:05,480 (Normal voice) I didn't steal it. 917 00:35:05,504 --> 00:35:07,239 Lola returned it to me. 918 00:35:07,273 --> 00:35:09,908 That's Carol's portion of Cece's estate. 919 00:35:09,941 --> 00:35:12,344 Wow. 920 00:35:12,378 --> 00:35:14,646 That makes sense. 921 00:35:14,680 --> 00:35:17,416 What doesn't is why you came to me pretending to have nothing, 922 00:35:17,449 --> 00:35:19,918 when you could buy half of Manhattan. 923 00:35:19,951 --> 00:35:24,356 That money alienated me from everyone I cared about. 924 00:35:24,390 --> 00:35:28,260 But I couldn't do nothing while you lost the gallery. 925 00:35:28,294 --> 00:35:29,504 Yeah, but you still should've told me. 926 00:35:29,528 --> 00:35:31,363 I'm sorry, 927 00:35:31,397 --> 00:35:34,366 but my being rich doesn't change anything between us. 928 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:35,867 Yeah, I'm not so sure about that. 929 00:35:35,901 --> 00:35:38,237 Money caused all my problems with Lily. 930 00:35:38,270 --> 00:35:41,207 I'd never lord my fortune over your head 931 00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:42,508 the way she did. 932 00:35:42,541 --> 00:35:44,376 I mean, this money just... 933 00:35:44,410 --> 00:35:46,245 (Sighs) Means we can be us 934 00:35:46,278 --> 00:35:48,647 and fix broken floors 935 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:50,549 and go on great trips 936 00:35:50,582 --> 00:35:53,685 and celebrate with fabulous champagne. 937 00:35:56,288 --> 00:35:58,924 I never thought I'd be grateful to Cece rhodes. 938 00:35:58,957 --> 00:36:00,426 (Both laugh) 939 00:36:05,864 --> 00:36:08,500 Hey, Steven, it's me. Can we meet somewhere to talk, please? 940 00:36:08,534 --> 00:36:10,469 Serena, I have nothing more to say to you. 941 00:36:10,502 --> 00:36:12,538 So that's it? 942 00:36:12,571 --> 00:36:15,274 You're just gonna break up with me over Sage's manipulation? 943 00:36:15,307 --> 00:36:16,542 She was right. 944 00:36:16,575 --> 00:36:18,677 We moved too fast, and you are too young. 945 00:36:18,710 --> 00:36:20,879 No, but that's not what you said this summer. 946 00:36:20,912 --> 00:36:21,956 You said that we were perfect together. 947 00:36:21,980 --> 00:36:23,482 We were, 948 00:36:23,515 --> 00:36:25,417 until we got back to your life in New York. 949 00:36:25,451 --> 00:36:28,687 But I didn't want this life. That's why I ran away. 950 00:36:28,720 --> 00:36:30,222 It's still a part of you, 951 00:36:30,256 --> 00:36:32,558 and my loving you isn't enough to shut it out. 952 00:36:32,591 --> 00:36:35,527 And I can't marry someone who always has another sex tape 953 00:36:35,561 --> 00:36:37,896 or hidden agenda or surprise scheme up their sleeve. 954 00:36:37,929 --> 00:36:39,431 I'm a father. 955 00:36:39,465 --> 00:36:41,233 I can't just think about myself. 956 00:36:41,267 --> 00:36:42,334 Steven... 957 00:36:42,368 --> 00:36:43,502 I'm sorry, Serena, 958 00:36:43,535 --> 00:36:46,338 more than you know. 959 00:36:46,372 --> 00:36:49,541 You take care of yourself. 960 00:36:51,277 --> 00:36:52,244 (Beep) 961 00:36:52,278 --> 00:36:54,846 Are you okay? 962 00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,682 Not really. Are you? 963 00:36:56,715 --> 00:36:58,450 I'm not sure. 964 00:37:00,852 --> 00:37:03,655 You, uh, you wanna grab a burger? 965 00:37:06,292 --> 00:37:07,893 And fries. 966 00:37:07,926 --> 00:37:09,261 And a shake. 967 00:37:10,629 --> 00:37:12,598 Yeah. Why not? 968 00:37:12,631 --> 00:37:14,232 Okay. 969 00:37:24,310 --> 00:37:26,044 Blair. 970 00:37:26,077 --> 00:37:27,922 (Sighs) Thank you for never sleeping with Serena. 971 00:37:27,946 --> 00:37:29,681 The pleasure was all mine. 972 00:37:29,715 --> 00:37:32,318 Her sick show with Dan is all over "gossip girl." 973 00:37:32,351 --> 00:37:35,053 Well, at least now everyone can see the truth about them. 974 00:37:35,086 --> 00:37:37,723 They can see everything about them. 975 00:37:37,756 --> 00:37:40,892 But I have to say, I didn't expect this from Humphrey. 976 00:37:40,926 --> 00:37:44,430 And though I always wanted you to choose me, 977 00:37:44,463 --> 00:37:47,633 I always feared he was the better man. 978 00:37:47,666 --> 00:37:50,035 No one's better for me than you. 979 00:37:50,068 --> 00:37:51,837 Then you won't mind waiting a little longer 980 00:37:51,870 --> 00:37:53,639 for us to be together? 981 00:37:53,672 --> 00:37:57,042 Your plan to have Lily help you didn't work? 982 00:37:57,075 --> 00:38:03,315 My father has her wrapped around his finger. 983 00:38:03,349 --> 00:38:07,052 I have to find a way to expose him on my own. 984 00:38:07,085 --> 00:38:09,655 You will. 985 00:38:09,688 --> 00:38:11,890 And I will wait as long as it takes. 986 00:38:14,693 --> 00:38:17,796 If that's what you still want... 987 00:38:17,829 --> 00:38:20,399 To wait. 988 00:38:20,432 --> 00:38:22,634 (Whispers) They say good things come to those who do. 989 00:38:24,135 --> 00:38:26,672 (Cell phone vibrates) 990 00:38:26,705 --> 00:38:28,440 Was that you vibrating? 991 00:38:32,678 --> 00:38:34,446 I should go. 992 00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:36,848 I know it seems like forever, 993 00:38:36,882 --> 00:38:39,202 but I know what my father did, and I just have to prove it. 994 00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:52,431 When Charles said I was aiding and abetting, Bart, 995 00:38:52,464 --> 00:38:54,600 have you done something that would send you to prison? 996 00:38:57,469 --> 00:39:00,372 I never told you... 997 00:39:00,406 --> 00:39:02,574 To protect you from exactly these kinds of attacks. 998 00:39:02,608 --> 00:39:04,410 (Lock clicks) 999 00:39:07,746 --> 00:39:11,950 After the mortgage meltdown, bass industries was in trouble. 1000 00:39:11,983 --> 00:39:13,461 I knew some people who knew some people, 1001 00:39:13,485 --> 00:39:17,122 and I made a deal to sell some oil from the Sudan. 1002 00:39:17,155 --> 00:39:20,792 There was an embargo in place which made it illegal, 1003 00:39:20,826 --> 00:39:22,728 and then things got complicated. 1004 00:39:22,761 --> 00:39:23,995 Was anyone hurt? 1005 00:39:27,032 --> 00:39:28,600 No. 1006 00:39:28,634 --> 00:39:31,603 (Frank ocean's "thinkin' bout you" playing) 1007 00:39:31,637 --> 00:39:33,038 Well, that's all I needed to know. 1008 00:39:33,071 --> 00:39:35,173 ♪ 'Cause I been thinkin' 'bout forever ♪ 1009 00:39:35,206 --> 00:39:38,710 There's something to be said for having a partner in crime. 1010 00:39:41,079 --> 00:39:43,114 (Cell phone rings) 1011 00:39:43,148 --> 00:39:44,149 ♪ So far ahead? 1012 00:39:44,182 --> 00:39:45,817 (Beep) 1013 00:39:45,851 --> 00:39:48,454 (Sighs) Did your dad dump the bitch yet? 1014 00:39:48,487 --> 00:39:51,156 No. But I wondered if you'd seen Bart do anything unusual 1015 00:39:51,189 --> 00:39:52,658 in the apartment. 1016 00:39:52,691 --> 00:39:54,502 Maybe the reason he's so intent on keeping me out 1017 00:39:54,526 --> 00:39:56,428 is because what I need's inside. 1018 00:39:56,462 --> 00:39:59,565 Mm. Well, he did hold on 1019 00:39:59,598 --> 00:40:00,708 to this envelope the whole time, 1020 00:40:00,732 --> 00:40:02,067 but I didn't see who it was from. 1021 00:40:02,100 --> 00:40:03,869 Sorry. 1022 00:40:03,902 --> 00:40:06,805 No. You've been very helpful. Thank you. 1023 00:40:08,474 --> 00:40:12,611 Sometimes you have no choice but to go it alone. 1024 00:40:12,644 --> 00:40:14,746 You know I hate cryptic text messages. 1025 00:40:14,780 --> 00:40:18,049 I need to emotionally prepare for a gift or a land mine. 1026 00:40:18,083 --> 00:40:19,885 I have both. 1027 00:40:19,918 --> 00:40:21,887 Well, gift first so I can appreciate it 1028 00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:23,655 before I'm blown to smithereens. 1029 00:40:23,689 --> 00:40:28,059 Jean Pierre call to get pattern for Sage sex dress. 1030 00:40:28,093 --> 00:40:29,861 He say he already has calls from buyers. 1031 00:40:29,895 --> 00:40:31,663 Oh! 1032 00:40:31,697 --> 00:40:33,040 Well, then that means that Waldorf designs 1033 00:40:33,064 --> 00:40:35,000 will be in stores before my mother's deadline. 1034 00:40:35,033 --> 00:40:36,802 What could possibly explode that? 1035 00:40:36,835 --> 00:40:40,071 Miss Eleanor call, too. 1036 00:40:40,105 --> 00:40:42,941 She saw photos of cotillion. 1037 00:40:42,974 --> 00:40:46,645 She say she come home to fix decorum disaster. 1038 00:40:49,247 --> 00:40:51,149 ♪ 'Cause I been thinkin' 'bout forever ♪ 1039 00:40:51,182 --> 00:40:53,084 After all, 1040 00:40:53,118 --> 00:40:56,087 you're the only one who can answer for your sins. 1041 00:40:56,121 --> 00:40:57,222 ♪ Yes, of course 1042 00:40:57,255 --> 00:40:59,758 ♪ I remember, how could I forget? ♪ 1043 00:40:59,791 --> 00:41:01,727 ♪ How could I forget how you feel? ♪ 1044 00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:03,571 Well, come on, do you think that my mom's right, 1045 00:41:03,595 --> 00:41:06,732 that Steven was just another in my long line of life rafts? 1046 00:41:06,765 --> 00:41:08,275 I don't know. Do you feel like you're drowning without him? 1047 00:41:08,299 --> 00:41:11,970 We probably both need to learn how to swim. 1048 00:41:12,003 --> 00:41:13,705 ♪ It won't ever get old, not in my soul ♪ 1049 00:41:13,739 --> 00:41:16,207 Oh, come on. How is that fair? 1050 00:41:16,241 --> 00:41:19,978 I get dumped over our sex tape, and you get girls? 1051 00:41:20,011 --> 00:41:21,713 What can I say? They like what they saw. 1052 00:41:21,747 --> 00:41:23,625 Well, they didn't see your plaid boxers, clearly. 1053 00:41:23,649 --> 00:41:25,551 Hey, those are my favorites. 1054 00:41:25,584 --> 00:41:27,252 I remember, from four years ago. 1055 00:41:27,285 --> 00:41:29,154 ♪ Think so far 1056 00:41:29,187 --> 00:41:31,156 you want more pie? 1057 00:41:31,189 --> 00:41:32,858 Hey, excuse me. Sorry to interrupt. 1058 00:41:32,891 --> 00:41:34,593 Uh, could we get some more... 1059 00:41:34,626 --> 00:41:37,128 What do you want, pecan or apple crisp? 1060 00:41:37,162 --> 00:41:38,229 Both. 1061 00:41:38,263 --> 00:41:41,266 And banana cream? 1062 00:41:41,299 --> 00:41:44,570 Thank you. 1063 00:41:44,603 --> 00:41:48,106 ♪ 'Cause I been thinkin' 'bout forever ♪ 1064 00:41:48,139 --> 00:41:50,709 Hey, thanks for being humiliated with me. 1065 00:41:54,045 --> 00:41:55,881 Once you've answered for your sins, 1066 00:41:55,914 --> 00:41:57,749 there's nothing in the way 1067 00:41:57,783 --> 00:41:59,951 of starting a whole new partnership. 1068 00:41:59,985 --> 00:42:03,755 X.o.x.o., gossip girl.