1 00:00:03,534 --> 00:00:05,606 Into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. 2 00:00:05,676 --> 00:00:07,484 You shouldn't have sent that video in to "gossip girl." 3 00:00:07,508 --> 00:00:08,508 I didn't do it. 4 00:00:08,679 --> 00:00:10,041 If you didn't do it and I didn't, 5 00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:11,512 then who did? 6 00:00:11,682 --> 00:00:14,045 Of course I love you, Chuck. I've always loved you. 7 00:00:14,115 --> 00:00:15,316 Humphrey, you bastard. 8 00:00:15,516 --> 00:00:17,448 (Sophie) You and your family will quite literally 9 00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:20,051 pay the consequences. Or did you forget about the dowry? 10 00:00:20,121 --> 00:00:23,254 If she defaults on the marriage, the dowry can be reinstated. 11 00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:24,604 You do not have to go with them. 12 00:00:24,655 --> 00:00:27,398 It's just a year. It's not that long, right? 13 00:00:27,458 --> 00:00:30,301 This is estee, a.K.A., my royal minder, 14 00:00:30,361 --> 00:00:32,433 but I've just been calling her "creeper" for short. 15 00:00:32,503 --> 00:00:35,306 I do have feelings for Dan. I'm sorry. 16 00:00:35,366 --> 00:00:37,338 This isn't gonna be easy for me, 17 00:00:37,408 --> 00:00:38,688 but at least you're being honest. 18 00:00:38,769 --> 00:00:40,517 I don't want to get in the way of you and Dan. 19 00:00:40,541 --> 00:00:41,788 I think we need to get her to the hospital. 20 00:00:41,812 --> 00:00:43,174 Please stay with me. 21 00:00:43,274 --> 00:00:45,216 You're the only person I feel safe with. 22 00:00:45,276 --> 00:00:47,218 I won't leave you. I promise. 23 00:00:47,278 --> 00:00:48,519 Oh! Mother? 24 00:00:48,579 --> 00:00:50,081 Charlie, what are you doing here? 25 00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:51,822 She's been with Ms. Rhodes for months. 26 00:00:52,083 --> 00:00:53,484 She's been such a solace to her. 27 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,055 Mom? 28 00:00:55,486 --> 00:00:57,764 Why did you introduce this girl as your daughter? Who is she? 29 00:00:57,788 --> 00:00:59,230 Ivy dickens. 30 00:00:59,290 --> 00:01:00,661 Your mom hired me to be you. 31 00:01:00,731 --> 00:01:03,494 You hid an entire family from me for money? 32 00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,666 I don't really wanna be alone. Can I stay with you? 33 00:01:05,736 --> 00:01:07,298 There's nothing we can do. 34 00:01:07,368 --> 00:01:09,340 You need to go in and say your good-byes. 35 00:01:15,546 --> 00:01:17,648 And who am I? 36 00:01:17,708 --> 00:01:21,312 That's a secret I'll never tell. 37 00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:23,314 You know you love me. 38 00:01:23,384 --> 00:01:25,316 X.o.x.o., gossip girl. 39 00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:27,788 Captioned by closed captioning services, inc. 40 00:01:27,858 --> 00:01:30,691 (Gossip girl) They say we should carry our secrets 41 00:01:30,761 --> 00:01:32,293 to the grave. 42 00:01:32,363 --> 00:01:34,295 But on the Upper East Side, 43 00:01:34,365 --> 00:01:37,698 secrets are the one thing you can never Bury. 44 00:01:37,768 --> 00:01:39,400 Even when we think 45 00:01:39,530 --> 00:01:41,532 we know everything about the ones we love, 46 00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:45,136 there's always a skeleton in their walk-in closet. 47 00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:47,408 Thank you for seeing me on such short notice. 48 00:01:47,478 --> 00:01:50,441 Mrs. Humphrey, in my business, there's rarely advance warning. 49 00:01:50,511 --> 00:01:53,514 Oh, of course. I just wanted to make sure 50 00:01:53,584 --> 00:01:55,786 all of mother's funeral arrangements were perfect. 51 00:01:55,846 --> 00:01:59,620 She was very particular, liked things a certain way. 52 00:01:59,690 --> 00:02:00,821 Um, would it be possible 53 00:02:00,891 --> 00:02:03,123 for us to work with our own florist? 54 00:02:03,194 --> 00:02:05,296 Oh. I'm... sorry. 55 00:02:05,356 --> 00:02:07,158 I thought you knew. 56 00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:10,901 Your mother provided very detailed instructions. 57 00:02:11,162 --> 00:02:13,564 In fact, if you return home right about now, 58 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:17,538 I think you'll discover the wake is already underway. 59 00:02:17,608 --> 00:02:19,570 (Chuckles) 60 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:22,743 Well, I can hear my mother laughing from beyond the grave. 61 00:02:22,813 --> 00:02:25,246 I'm sure she just didn't want to bother you 62 00:02:25,316 --> 00:02:27,578 with making all the arrangements. 63 00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,650 Or she just didn't trust your taste level. 64 00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:30,781 Oh. 65 00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:33,184 I'm the other daughter, Carol. 66 00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:34,685 Crashing as usual. 67 00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:36,787 Well, since you're here, you might want to know 68 00:02:36,857 --> 00:02:39,930 that it seems mother took care of everything in advance. 69 00:02:40,191 --> 00:02:41,368 I'd tell you to invite your daughter... 70 00:02:41,392 --> 00:02:44,195 The real one, not the fake one... 71 00:02:44,265 --> 00:02:45,736 But she's not speaking to you. 72 00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:49,340 Well, if you'll excuse me, I apparently have a wake to host. 73 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:52,203 (Charlotte Gainsbourg's "paradisco" playing) 74 00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:55,476 ♫♫♫ 75 00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:01,352 ♫ oh, oh, oh, oh ♫ 76 00:03:01,412 --> 00:03:04,655 ♫ oh-oh, oh, oh, oh ♫ 77 00:03:05,956 --> 00:03:08,289 Aren't you gonna be late for work? 78 00:03:08,359 --> 00:03:09,559 Or you pulling a "vanilla sky" 79 00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:11,392 and hiding your hideous disfigurement 80 00:03:11,462 --> 00:03:13,724 from your global publishing empire? 81 00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:15,872 What? I thought you found my lacrosse injury sexy. No? 82 00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,328 (Laughs) 83 00:03:17,528 --> 00:03:19,175 Besides, I figured we could spend the day together 84 00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,199 and catch up. 85 00:03:20,231 --> 00:03:21,632 Uh-oh. No. No. 86 00:03:21,772 --> 00:03:24,335 Don't give me that "let's talk about our feelings" face. 87 00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:25,906 What? This is normal face. Okay? 88 00:03:25,976 --> 00:03:27,438 (Laughs) 89 00:03:27,578 --> 00:03:29,256 No, I'm worried about you. In the past 72 hours, 90 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:32,383 you found out that you have this entire secret family. 91 00:03:32,443 --> 00:03:35,246 Yeah, and my mom hired an actress I know to play me. 92 00:03:35,316 --> 00:03:36,517 I'm aware. 93 00:03:36,747 --> 00:03:38,295 Then why haven't you said a word about it? 94 00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,826 I may not have known about the Van Der woodsens 95 00:03:39,850 --> 00:03:42,653 for the last 19 years, but they sure knew about me. 96 00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:43,824 And they didn't care, 97 00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:45,972 so that pretty much tells me everything I need to know 98 00:03:45,996 --> 00:03:47,956 about your fancy friends from the Upper East Side. 99 00:03:47,998 --> 00:03:50,731 (Laughs) 100 00:03:50,801 --> 00:03:52,232 Now buy a girl some breakfast? 101 00:03:52,303 --> 00:03:53,334 (Cell phone rings) 102 00:03:53,404 --> 00:03:55,806 All right. Two minutes. 103 00:03:55,866 --> 00:03:57,968 Get dressed. I'll make coffee. 104 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,870 (Ring, beep) 105 00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:01,612 Hey. How you holding up? 106 00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:04,515 (Sighs) Well, the past few days have been tough on everyone. 107 00:04:04,575 --> 00:04:06,547 But I-I have a question. Are you with Lola? 108 00:04:06,617 --> 00:04:08,617 She hasn't been answering any of my calls or texts. 109 00:04:08,649 --> 00:04:10,821 Ahh. Yeah. She's... 110 00:04:10,881 --> 00:04:14,024 Not really that interested in being a rhodes right now. 111 00:04:14,285 --> 00:04:15,725 Well, trust me, I know what it's like 112 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,858 to want distance from your family more than anyone. 113 00:04:17,928 --> 00:04:21,362 But I thought maybe with Cece's death, she'd make an exception. 114 00:04:21,432 --> 00:04:22,633 Well, I'm not so sure. 115 00:04:22,793 --> 00:04:24,995 The entire Van Der Woodsen clan on a good day 116 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,767 can be pretty overwhelming. 117 00:04:27,298 --> 00:04:29,670 Well, I have an idea. Maybe... You know, maybe she can 118 00:04:29,740 --> 00:04:32,272 just dip her toes in the water with just me? 119 00:04:32,343 --> 00:04:34,575 I'm at my mom's right now. No one else is here. 120 00:04:34,645 --> 00:04:35,782 They'll be at the funeral home for a while. 121 00:04:35,806 --> 00:04:37,648 Maybe the three of us can meet up. 122 00:04:37,708 --> 00:04:39,910 I mean, I'll ask her. I just can't promise you anything. 123 00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:41,912 Thank you, Nate. 124 00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:43,814 (Beep) 125 00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:44,915 (Beep) 126 00:04:44,985 --> 00:04:46,487 Coffee? 127 00:04:46,557 --> 00:04:48,018 Top drawer. 128 00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:51,521 It relaxes me to watch Anita dust. 129 00:04:51,522 --> 00:04:53,794 (Sighs) I did not need to know that. 130 00:04:53,864 --> 00:04:55,496 What's got you in such a good mood? 131 00:04:55,566 --> 00:05:01,672 I recently found out who actually sent "gossip girl" 132 00:05:01,732 --> 00:05:04,304 the now-infamous video of me and Blair 133 00:05:04,375 --> 00:05:06,577 at the royal wedding... That hump, Humphrey. 134 00:05:06,637 --> 00:05:08,479 What, Dan? 135 00:05:08,539 --> 00:05:10,781 He was only too happy to let Serena and me take the fall 136 00:05:10,841 --> 00:05:13,514 so he could worm his way into Blair's broken heart. 137 00:05:13,584 --> 00:05:16,647 Unfortunately for him, when she finds out the truth, 138 00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:19,350 his chances with her will be destroyed, 139 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,552 and she will be mine again. 140 00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:23,554 I don't know, Chuck. Are you sure 141 00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:25,426 you want to start world war Waldorf right now? 142 00:05:25,496 --> 00:05:26,557 Why wouldn't I? 143 00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:27,898 'Cause you and I both know 144 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,406 that nothing can actually happen between Dan and Blair 145 00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:30,801 for at least a year. 146 00:05:30,861 --> 00:05:33,434 So... a lot can change in 12 months. 147 00:05:33,504 --> 00:05:35,406 Take the high road. 148 00:05:38,008 --> 00:05:40,471 (Elevator bell dings) 149 00:05:42,473 --> 00:05:43,793 Grab your coat. I'm kidnapping you 150 00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,846 and taking you to a bona fide Humphrey brunch. 151 00:05:45,916 --> 00:05:47,848 Psst! 152 00:05:47,918 --> 00:05:51,982 Ah. Bien sur. Merci. Nous parlerons demain. 153 00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:53,454 So for those of us who took Italian, 154 00:05:53,524 --> 00:05:54,855 what was that all about? 155 00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:58,689 That was Cyrus and another attorney at his firm. 156 00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:01,492 They think they may have found a loophole in my prenup. 157 00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:02,663 Are you serious? 158 00:06:02,893 --> 00:06:05,866 Yes. Apparently, since we signed it in Monaco 159 00:06:05,936 --> 00:06:07,898 but got married in the U.S... 160 00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:08,899 You can contest it. 161 00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:10,471 Oh, we can try. 162 00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:12,379 Cyrus thinks the grimaldis may have to Grant me 163 00:06:12,403 --> 00:06:13,644 an amicable annulment, 164 00:06:13,744 --> 00:06:15,081 meaning that they'd waive my dowry... 165 00:06:15,105 --> 00:06:17,147 And you wouldn't have to wait the year for... 166 00:06:17,408 --> 00:06:19,550 Anything. 167 00:06:19,610 --> 00:06:21,582 When will Cyrus know for sure? 168 00:06:21,652 --> 00:06:22,853 Well, he's supposed to talk 169 00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:24,631 to the grimaldis' royal attorney in an hour, 170 00:06:24,655 --> 00:06:27,418 so rain check on that waffle? I should wait here... 171 00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:29,660 Hopefully for the last time. 172 00:06:32,623 --> 00:06:34,725 No. (Tapping keys) 173 00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:37,898 Delete. Delete. 174 00:06:37,968 --> 00:06:39,730 Ew. 175 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,772 What are you doing? 176 00:06:41,832 --> 00:06:42,973 Trying to help. 177 00:06:43,033 --> 00:06:45,035 (Sighs) No, you're not. 178 00:06:45,105 --> 00:06:47,083 If you were, you wouldn't let me slave in front of this computer 179 00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,909 all day as gossip girl. 180 00:06:48,979 --> 00:06:51,141 Well, I thought you said knowing everyone's secrets 181 00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:53,744 as gossip girl was your dream come true. 182 00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:56,587 It was, until I realized how much work it is. 183 00:06:56,647 --> 00:06:58,619 I mean, look at me. I'm exhausted and aggravated. 184 00:06:58,689 --> 00:07:02,493 I have no social life to speak of. 185 00:07:02,553 --> 00:07:04,024 I feel like a stay-at-home mom. 186 00:07:04,094 --> 00:07:05,656 Oh, honey, don't say that. 187 00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:07,606 It's true. I mean, all my life I've been the one 188 00:07:07,658 --> 00:07:09,436 that they write stories about, and now I'm just 189 00:07:09,460 --> 00:07:11,820 another anonymous shut-in with an online shopping addiction. 190 00:07:11,862 --> 00:07:13,934 Tell me, what can I do? 191 00:07:14,004 --> 00:07:16,166 Well... 192 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,510 Since you asked, Georgina sparks needs a recharge, 193 00:07:19,570 --> 00:07:21,672 so I've decided to take a mental health day, 194 00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:23,944 and I've found the perfect event to crash... 195 00:07:24,014 --> 00:07:25,776 Cece rhodes' secret wake. 196 00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:29,119 What about "gossip girl"? The site can't go down all day. 197 00:07:29,179 --> 00:07:30,721 It won't. 198 00:07:30,781 --> 00:07:33,554 That's why I'm leaving you in charge. 199 00:07:33,624 --> 00:07:35,886 Don't worry. It's not rocket science. 200 00:07:35,956 --> 00:07:37,758 You just take the tips that people send in 201 00:07:37,828 --> 00:07:39,690 and post them if they're worthy. 202 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,832 Are you sure this is such a good idea? 203 00:07:41,892 --> 00:07:43,133 (Taps key) 204 00:07:43,193 --> 00:07:45,536 Aw, what's a Van Der Woodsen family event 205 00:07:45,596 --> 00:07:47,197 if I'm not there to ruin it? 206 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,027 Besides, I already promised a new friend 207 00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:50,571 I'd be her plus one. 208 00:07:50,641 --> 00:07:53,473 Thank you for coming with me. 209 00:07:53,544 --> 00:07:56,146 I know I was invited, but, uh, 210 00:07:56,206 --> 00:07:58,909 I don't think I could face them all alone. 211 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:01,582 I understand. When everybody at a party hates you, 212 00:08:01,652 --> 00:08:04,855 who better to bring than someone they hate even more? 213 00:08:09,960 --> 00:08:11,261 What are you doing down here? 214 00:08:11,622 --> 00:08:13,039 I thought there was a family breakfast this morning. 215 00:08:13,063 --> 00:08:15,926 Oh, there's a lot more than that going on upstairs. 216 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,043 I just came down to warn my mom. 217 00:08:17,067 --> 00:08:19,129 You'll see for yourself. 218 00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:20,130 Is Blair's houseboy up there? 219 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,532 You mean Dan? 220 00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:22,873 Is that why you came by... 221 00:08:23,073 --> 00:08:25,175 To get intel on him and Blair, torture him a little? 222 00:08:25,235 --> 00:08:26,777 Maybe just a little. 223 00:08:26,837 --> 00:08:29,139 Well, he's not here. At least, not yet. 224 00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:31,181 But, um, here's some intel for you. 225 00:08:31,241 --> 00:08:32,713 Blair just texted me 226 00:08:33,043 --> 00:08:34,721 that Cyrus may have found a loophole in her prenup, 227 00:08:34,745 --> 00:08:37,888 so she may be released sooner than any of us thought. 228 00:08:39,590 --> 00:08:41,622 And right into Dan's waiting arms. 229 00:08:41,692 --> 00:08:43,223 If you'll excuse me. 230 00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:50,701 (Buttons clicking) 231 00:08:50,961 --> 00:08:52,679 (Lola) So what do you wanna do for breakfast? 232 00:08:52,703 --> 00:08:54,080 Oh, I was thinking untitled at the Whitney... 233 00:08:54,104 --> 00:08:55,666 Danny meyer's new place? 234 00:08:55,766 --> 00:08:58,138 Oh, you're trying to score a cool point, aren't you? 235 00:08:58,208 --> 00:09:00,040 And since we'll be on Madison anyway... 236 00:09:00,110 --> 00:09:01,672 Oh, here it comes. 237 00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:03,714 Well, we'll be walking right by Serena's mom's, 238 00:09:03,774 --> 00:09:06,146 which Serena will be at by herself, I might add. 239 00:09:06,216 --> 00:09:08,318 Nate, what part of wanting nothing to do 240 00:09:08,579 --> 00:09:10,681 with the Van Der woodsens don't you understand? 241 00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:12,158 Look, I know how you feel about them, 242 00:09:12,182 --> 00:09:13,600 but not everything from the Upper East Side 243 00:09:13,624 --> 00:09:15,155 is automatically bad. 244 00:09:15,225 --> 00:09:16,857 Okay. Name one thing that isn't. 245 00:09:16,927 --> 00:09:18,028 Me. 246 00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:20,661 Come on. Serena's one of my best friends, okay? 247 00:09:20,731 --> 00:09:22,809 You haven't even given her one shot. What's the harm? 248 00:09:22,833 --> 00:09:25,866 (Sighs) All right, but if we stop by, 249 00:09:25,936 --> 00:09:27,097 you have to promise me 250 00:09:27,638 --> 00:09:29,175 that you're never gonna play me like this again, okay? 251 00:09:29,199 --> 00:09:30,871 I promise. 252 00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:38,108 Mom, you knew grandma always did like to do things her own way. 253 00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:40,911 I know. I'm just not entirely sure I'm in the mood 254 00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:43,283 for the "mayflower" mausoleum in mother's honor 255 00:09:43,353 --> 00:09:45,085 that obviously awaits us upstairs. 256 00:09:45,155 --> 00:09:47,087 (Elevator bell dings, doors open) 257 00:09:47,157 --> 00:09:51,662 (Irish jig playing) 258 00:09:51,722 --> 00:09:52,893 Oh, my god. 259 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:57,067 ♫♫♫ 260 00:09:57,127 --> 00:09:58,899 (Indistinct conversations) 261 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:02,032 It was all here when I got home. 262 00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:02,873 ♫♫♫ 263 00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,775 There's whiskey and stew... 264 00:10:04,835 --> 00:10:05,936 And mother. 265 00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,038 And those are our mourners' chairs 266 00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:12,042 where we will sit and mourn because this is an Irish wake. 267 00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:15,946 Looks like this wake might end up being the wake-up call 268 00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:18,849 you so desperately need. 269 00:10:26,356 --> 00:10:28,398 Copy... 270 00:10:29,860 --> 00:10:31,932 (Taps key) 271 00:10:32,002 --> 00:10:33,403 Paste... 272 00:10:33,664 --> 00:10:36,336 (Beep) 273 00:10:36,406 --> 00:10:37,938 Post. 274 00:10:38,008 --> 00:10:39,810 (Beep) 275 00:10:45,415 --> 00:10:47,217 Oh, no. 276 00:10:48,118 --> 00:10:49,319 Oh... 277 00:10:49,379 --> 00:10:50,951 Ooh. 278 00:10:51,021 --> 00:10:52,652 (Typing) (Chuckles nervously) Oh, crap. 279 00:10:52,723 --> 00:10:56,987 (The pogues' "Sally maclennane" playing) 280 00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:59,405 ♫ well, Jimmy played harmonica in the pub where I was born ♫ 281 00:10:59,429 --> 00:11:01,261 ♫ he played it from the nighttime ♫ 282 00:11:01,331 --> 00:11:03,894 I just can't believe that this was mother's idea. 283 00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:06,837 And who are these people? I don't recognize a soul. 284 00:11:06,897 --> 00:11:09,139 Well, I guess Cece wanted us to celebrate her life 285 00:11:09,199 --> 00:11:10,677 and not mourn her death, so she didn't invite 286 00:11:10,701 --> 00:11:12,973 any of her stodgy socialites, just the... 287 00:11:13,043 --> 00:11:16,777 The help. That... that... that was her butcher from east Hampton, 288 00:11:16,847 --> 00:11:18,108 and her driver. 289 00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,050 And the fireman that saved her life 290 00:11:20,110 --> 00:11:21,852 the night she left the candle burning. 291 00:11:21,912 --> 00:11:23,313 Hi. 292 00:11:24,314 --> 00:11:27,057 You. What are you doing here? 293 00:11:27,117 --> 00:11:29,159 I was invited by your mother herself. 294 00:11:29,219 --> 00:11:30,991 I promised her I'd come. 295 00:11:31,061 --> 00:11:35,365 I just came to pay my respects. I won't bother anybody. 296 00:11:35,425 --> 00:11:37,798 This is all Carol's fault. 297 00:11:37,868 --> 00:11:40,130 Yeah, I'm sure she's hiding here somewhere. 298 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:43,133 You can't let Carol get to you like this. 299 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,405 The executor of the estate is supposed to be coming, 300 00:11:45,475 --> 00:11:46,475 whoever that is. 301 00:11:46,837 --> 00:11:48,708 My money is on Elias the gardener. 302 00:11:48,779 --> 00:11:50,086 And I'm sure everything will be explained 303 00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:51,411 once they read the will. 304 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:53,814 Well, whoever it is, they'd better get here soon, 305 00:11:53,884 --> 00:11:56,346 because I'm not responsible for what I might do. 306 00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:57,888 ♫ And crawled back home at dawn ♫ 307 00:11:58,248 --> 00:12:00,290 ♫ and ended up a barman in the morning ♫ 308 00:12:00,350 --> 00:12:02,853 ♫ I played the pump and took the hump ♫ 309 00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:04,154 So Serena's here alone, huh? 310 00:12:04,324 --> 00:12:06,857 I swear I had no idea what we were walking into. 311 00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:08,198 So this is an epic fail. 312 00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:10,130 Yeah, let's just go, before someone sees us. 313 00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:13,804 Lola. May I have a word? 314 00:12:13,864 --> 00:12:16,266 (Sighs) 315 00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,338 Of course this is happening. What is it, mother? 316 00:12:18,408 --> 00:12:21,441 Do you mind telling me what you're doing here? 317 00:12:21,511 --> 00:12:24,744 Oh, yeah, well, let's see. Um, this morning, 318 00:12:24,815 --> 00:12:26,476 while I was in the shower at Nate's, 319 00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:29,219 Serena, the cousin I just found out about, 320 00:12:29,279 --> 00:12:31,157 tricked me into coming to the wake of the grandmother 321 00:12:31,181 --> 00:12:33,199 that I never knew existed at the house of the family 322 00:12:33,223 --> 00:12:35,225 that you hid from me for my entire life. 323 00:12:35,285 --> 00:12:36,462 Does that sum it up for you enough? 324 00:12:36,486 --> 00:12:38,288 I know you blame me for everything, 325 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:40,290 but I only lied to you because 326 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,362 we're not safe around these people. 327 00:12:42,432 --> 00:12:44,364 They're materialistic monsters. 328 00:12:44,434 --> 00:12:46,212 Oh, says the woman who looted her own daughter's trust fund. 329 00:12:46,236 --> 00:12:48,038 That money was for you. 330 00:12:48,098 --> 00:12:50,370 You cannot believe a word these people say. 331 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:53,003 Mom, the only person here who's ever lied to me is you. 332 00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:57,207 Hey. I know this place is crazy, but I'm really glad you came. 333 00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,478 (Cell phone rings) 334 00:12:58,849 --> 00:13:00,256 (Lowered voice) I was just about to call you. 335 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,982 I know. I screwed up. 336 00:13:02,052 --> 00:13:03,954 Yes, you did. Who knows if anyone 337 00:13:04,014 --> 00:13:05,455 will send in another tip ever? 338 00:13:05,515 --> 00:13:08,118 Luckily for you, I'm in the eye of the hurricane. 339 00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:09,820 So I can watch your mess play out, 340 00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:12,522 and if this is my last day as gossip girl thanks to you, 341 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,124 I'm going out with a bang. 342 00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:15,395 (Glasses clink) 343 00:13:15,465 --> 00:13:18,829 Dan, I'm so sorry for your loss. 344 00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:20,230 Hey, Dennis. 345 00:13:20,370 --> 00:13:23,133 Georgina, I would ask you what you're doing here 346 00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:25,235 if I cared, which I don't, so... 347 00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:26,412 I was just wondering if you had the chance 348 00:13:26,436 --> 00:13:28,578 to check "gossip girl" recently. 349 00:13:28,839 --> 00:13:30,040 No. Why? 350 00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,918 I know I promised I'd never publicly reveal 351 00:13:31,942 --> 00:13:33,262 that little video secret of yours, 352 00:13:33,383 --> 00:13:34,891 but unfortunately, I left Philip in charge. 353 00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:38,418 So... lesson learned. Okay. Bye. 354 00:13:38,488 --> 00:13:40,190 (Click) 355 00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:42,893 Oh, "g.G... it's time you told everyone 356 00:13:42,953 --> 00:13:46,396 Dan Humphrey sent in that video on Blair's wedding day." 357 00:13:46,456 --> 00:13:49,599 Philip is rich, not bright. I'm sorry, but keep reading. 358 00:13:49,860 --> 00:13:52,162 Oh, my god. This was... This was sent in by... 359 00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:54,004 How dare you? 360 00:13:54,064 --> 00:13:56,236 Of all your many, many attempts at sabotage, 361 00:13:56,306 --> 00:13:58,568 this is by far the most pathetic. 362 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:01,071 Are you so worried that I'll find happiness without you 363 00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:03,243 that you feel the need to spread baseless lies 364 00:14:03,313 --> 00:14:05,145 at the wake of my best friend's grandmother? 365 00:14:05,215 --> 00:14:06,877 While you may be correct about my motives, 366 00:14:06,947 --> 00:14:08,548 the blast is anything but a lie. 367 00:14:08,618 --> 00:14:10,881 You know Serena and I didn't send the video, 368 00:14:10,951 --> 00:14:13,623 and it certainly wasn't Louis, so who's left? 369 00:14:13,884 --> 00:14:15,255 I'm not playing this game. 370 00:14:15,385 --> 00:14:17,465 Why don't you tell that to your boyfriend over there? 371 00:14:17,527 --> 00:14:20,390 Or even better, ask him the truth. 372 00:14:38,048 --> 00:14:39,309 Blair, please wait. 373 00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:40,880 I have nothing to say to you. 374 00:14:40,951 --> 00:14:42,482 I am so sorry I lied. 375 00:14:42,552 --> 00:14:44,054 You didn't just lie, Humphrey. 376 00:14:44,154 --> 00:14:45,291 You let me blame my best friend and my ex 377 00:14:45,315 --> 00:14:46,556 for something they didn't do. 378 00:14:47,117 --> 00:14:49,235 You embarrassed me in front of 400 guests at my own wedding. 379 00:14:49,259 --> 00:14:51,361 You made me the target of tabloids and t.S.A. Agents, 380 00:14:51,421 --> 00:14:53,924 not to mention, you helped lock the bars of my gilded cage. 381 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,165 Am I forgetting anything? 382 00:14:55,465 --> 00:14:56,872 I should have told you the truth right away, 383 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,498 but I swear, I never meant to hurt you. 384 00:14:58,568 --> 00:15:00,546 Then what other reason could you have had to send in that video? 385 00:15:00,570 --> 00:15:02,602 I spent every day leading up to the wedding 386 00:15:02,672 --> 00:15:04,374 listening to you say you had to marry Louis 387 00:15:04,434 --> 00:15:06,006 even though you didn't love him. 388 00:15:06,076 --> 00:15:08,138 I couldn't stand to see you so unhappy. 389 00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:10,080 I only thought it would stop the wedding. 390 00:15:10,140 --> 00:15:12,212 I never thought you would leave it with me. 391 00:15:12,282 --> 00:15:14,444 And us fighting like this is exactly what 392 00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,086 that bass-face wanted. 393 00:15:16,146 --> 00:15:17,563 But since Cyrus thinks everything will work out 394 00:15:17,587 --> 00:15:18,918 with the annulment... 395 00:15:18,989 --> 00:15:20,920 What can I do? Is there anything? 396 00:15:20,991 --> 00:15:21,998 Just say the word, and I will... 397 00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:24,294 Just shut up, Humphrey. 398 00:15:24,995 --> 00:15:28,298 I forgive you... for now. 399 00:15:28,358 --> 00:15:30,130 Estee? (Scoffs) 400 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:32,308 Did you follow me? I thought we weren't meeting till 4:00. 401 00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:34,664 Yes, after Cyrus tried to trick the royal attorney 402 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:37,437 into voiding your prenup. 403 00:15:37,507 --> 00:15:38,438 I know everything. 404 00:15:38,508 --> 00:15:41,641 Uh... follow me. 405 00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,576 Looks like Blair's annulment just got annulled. 406 00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:51,251 Shame. You were so close, too. 407 00:15:51,321 --> 00:15:52,321 Let me assure you, 408 00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:54,184 your stepfather's plan will never work. 409 00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:55,725 You slimy little limey. 410 00:15:55,986 --> 00:15:56,726 I do not respond well to threats, 411 00:15:56,987 --> 00:15:58,328 and neither does Cyrus Rose. 412 00:15:58,388 --> 00:15:59,388 He fought in 'nam. 413 00:15:59,429 --> 00:16:00,490 You didn't let me finish. 414 00:16:00,991 --> 00:16:02,532 His plan might not work, but mine can. 415 00:16:02,592 --> 00:16:04,334 We can help each other, you and I. 416 00:16:04,394 --> 00:16:05,635 Go on. 417 00:16:06,036 --> 00:16:08,538 You don't want Louis. That's clear. But I do. 418 00:16:08,598 --> 00:16:10,970 The prince and I... We're very close. 419 00:16:11,041 --> 00:16:12,401 We grew up together, but my station 420 00:16:12,442 --> 00:16:14,344 always prevented me from being a suitable choice 421 00:16:14,404 --> 00:16:16,446 for her serene highness, at least... 422 00:16:16,506 --> 00:16:17,447 Until I came along. 423 00:16:17,507 --> 00:16:18,608 Precisely. 424 00:16:19,049 --> 00:16:20,286 You're a public relations disaster. 425 00:16:20,310 --> 00:16:21,587 Next to your Sarah Ferguson's swan dive, 426 00:16:21,611 --> 00:16:23,513 I'm Kate bloody middleton. 427 00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:25,091 So you think the grimaldis will welcome 428 00:16:25,115 --> 00:16:27,087 Louis' loyal-and-loving social secretary 429 00:16:27,157 --> 00:16:28,157 as a replacement? 430 00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:31,161 I know Louis would. Sorry. 431 00:16:31,221 --> 00:16:35,765 No, no, it's fine. Oddly enough, I just want him to be happy. 432 00:16:36,026 --> 00:16:37,273 Then this is worth a shot, isn't it? 433 00:16:37,297 --> 00:16:39,069 You have nothing to lose. 434 00:16:40,570 --> 00:16:42,102 Make the call. 435 00:16:42,232 --> 00:16:43,679 So that's the tour. Thank you for coming by, 436 00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:45,181 or at least letting me trick you into coming by. 437 00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:47,137 I assure you, Nate had no idea. 438 00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:49,055 Well, actually, he said we were going to a museum, 439 00:16:49,079 --> 00:16:51,511 so he wasn't that far off. 440 00:16:51,581 --> 00:16:53,189 Look, I know what your mom thinks about us, 441 00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:54,390 you know, how all we care about is money... 442 00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:55,615 And the things you can buy. 443 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,223 But that couldn't be further from the truth. 444 00:16:57,247 --> 00:16:58,694 Family is what's most important to us, 445 00:16:58,718 --> 00:17:00,266 and to prove that to you, I have two people 446 00:17:00,290 --> 00:17:02,452 who are gonna be so excited to see you. Mom... 447 00:17:02,522 --> 00:17:04,454 You told me mother sold the limoges, 448 00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:06,025 and don't think I didn't notice 449 00:17:06,096 --> 00:17:09,259 her Georg Jensen service here, either. 450 00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:12,632 Tell laryssa to count the silver right away. 451 00:17:14,464 --> 00:17:18,208 (Chuckles) I really appreciate everything you're trying to do, 452 00:17:18,268 --> 00:17:20,340 but, um... I'm just not part of this world, 453 00:17:20,410 --> 00:17:22,472 and I don't really think I wanna be, either, 454 00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:25,345 so just tell Nate I had to go. 455 00:17:27,277 --> 00:17:29,079 Oh, Lola. 456 00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,720 I wasn't expecting to see you here. 457 00:17:30,780 --> 00:17:31,780 Why? 458 00:17:31,821 --> 00:17:33,423 Even if I don't wanna be here, 459 00:17:33,483 --> 00:17:34,730 I have more of a reason than you do. 460 00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,186 Look, I know this sounds ridiculous, 461 00:17:36,426 --> 00:17:38,464 but the Van Der woodsens are the closest thing I have 462 00:17:38,488 --> 00:17:40,760 to an actual family. 463 00:17:40,830 --> 00:17:42,532 Even though they hate me. 464 00:17:42,592 --> 00:17:43,609 Yeah, I have the opposite problem. 465 00:17:43,633 --> 00:17:45,064 Maybe my mother 466 00:17:45,135 --> 00:17:46,636 really was trying to protect me. 467 00:17:46,696 --> 00:17:48,568 By stealing all your money? 468 00:17:48,638 --> 00:17:51,171 Ladies... 469 00:17:51,241 --> 00:17:53,319 On the Upper East Side, money is never the real story. 470 00:17:53,343 --> 00:17:55,081 It's usually just the "x" that marks the spot 471 00:17:55,105 --> 00:17:56,446 for what's buried beneath it. 472 00:17:56,506 --> 00:17:58,148 If I were you two, I'd start digging. 473 00:17:58,208 --> 00:17:59,679 What do you mean? 474 00:17:59,749 --> 00:18:02,712 I know it's hard for you, but stop and think. 475 00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:04,083 Money doesn't explain 476 00:18:04,254 --> 00:18:05,661 why you hide your daughter for 18 years, 477 00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:07,457 unless she was being paid to do so, 478 00:18:07,517 --> 00:18:08,458 and judging by her hair and her clothes, 479 00:18:08,518 --> 00:18:09,719 I'd say that isn't so. 480 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:11,437 You think there's something else going on? 481 00:18:11,461 --> 00:18:13,223 How do I find out? 482 00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:15,241 (Chuckles) Well, nobody here is going to tell you. 483 00:18:15,265 --> 00:18:17,727 You have to find someone from the outside, 484 00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,529 somebody who isn't afraid of them. 485 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:22,502 Somebody like... 486 00:18:22,572 --> 00:18:25,335 (Gasps) Dad. 487 00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:26,676 Hi, dear. 488 00:18:26,806 --> 00:18:28,366 Looks like there's a doctor in the house 489 00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:32,542 who's about to get a taste of his own medicine. 490 00:18:38,688 --> 00:18:39,889 (Indistinct conversations) 491 00:18:40,150 --> 00:18:41,251 I'm so happy you're here. 492 00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:42,941 It would have meant so much to grandma. 493 00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,795 I wouldn't miss this for the world. I'm just sorry 494 00:18:45,855 --> 00:18:47,697 that Eric couldn't make it back from Zaire. 495 00:18:47,757 --> 00:18:49,128 I think they call that 496 00:18:49,199 --> 00:18:50,900 the Democratic Republic of Congo now. 497 00:18:51,161 --> 00:18:54,604 They do, but trust me, it's not. (Chuckles) 498 00:18:54,664 --> 00:18:56,866 Charlie, good to see you again. 499 00:18:57,136 --> 00:18:58,936 Oh, you're a little late to the party, doctor. 500 00:18:59,169 --> 00:19:02,141 That isn't your niece, but this is. 501 00:19:02,212 --> 00:19:03,212 Sorry? 502 00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:04,603 What are you even doing here? 503 00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,776 Come on. Let's go say hi to mom. 504 00:19:06,846 --> 00:19:09,279 (Lowered voice) Daddy v-d-dubs has known the rhodes sisters 505 00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:10,680 since high school. 506 00:19:10,820 --> 00:19:13,223 I bet he has a secret or two he'd be willing to share 507 00:19:13,283 --> 00:19:15,385 if you ask nicely. 508 00:19:15,455 --> 00:19:18,228 Hey, Serena said you left, but here you are with Ivy. 509 00:19:18,288 --> 00:19:19,559 Hi, Nate. 510 00:19:19,859 --> 00:19:21,907 I don't know why you're here, but we should probably leave 511 00:19:21,931 --> 00:19:23,269 since Lola and I were just walking out... 512 00:19:23,293 --> 00:19:25,535 No, I'm gonna stay, and so is she. 513 00:19:25,595 --> 00:19:27,243 We're gonna get to the bottom of why my mom 514 00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:29,469 really kept me away all these years, so, um, 515 00:19:29,539 --> 00:19:31,601 if you don't mind... 516 00:19:33,303 --> 00:19:34,904 Oui. 517 00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:36,446 Oui. 518 00:19:36,506 --> 00:19:38,378 Naturellement. 519 00:19:38,448 --> 00:19:39,779 Well? 520 00:19:39,849 --> 00:19:41,587 He agreed. I need to be on the next plane back. 521 00:19:41,611 --> 00:19:43,251 I'm to be amongst the royal court tomorrow 522 00:19:43,313 --> 00:19:45,361 when the prince breaks the news in a press conference 523 00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:48,288 about how it became clear you were only ever after his title. 524 00:19:48,358 --> 00:19:50,390 But, uh... 525 00:19:50,460 --> 00:19:51,821 Okay. Okay. What else? 526 00:19:51,891 --> 00:19:53,723 Then the royal family's publicist 527 00:19:53,793 --> 00:19:55,295 will start to build me up, 528 00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:57,273 the woman who has watched from the wings for decades. 529 00:19:57,297 --> 00:19:59,499 Okay, enough about you. More about me. 530 00:19:59,569 --> 00:20:01,601 Her serene highness and the prince 531 00:20:01,671 --> 00:20:03,151 are only willing to annul the marriage 532 00:20:03,233 --> 00:20:05,605 if you agree to a gag order on all matters 533 00:20:05,675 --> 00:20:06,976 regarding the dissolution. 534 00:20:07,377 --> 00:20:09,457 They can be the only ones to speak about it publicly. 535 00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:10,656 Do you understand what that means? 536 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:11,960 Well, I'll do whatever they say, 537 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,719 as long as it gets me out of this marriage. 538 00:20:13,743 --> 00:20:15,445 A press blackout is a small price to pay 539 00:20:15,515 --> 00:20:16,616 to get my life back. 540 00:20:16,686 --> 00:20:17,923 That includes no more blind items 541 00:20:17,947 --> 00:20:19,949 on "page six" or posts on "gossip girl." 542 00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,368 Princess Sophie was very clear if you don't adhere to the deal, 543 00:20:22,392 --> 00:20:23,523 they'll make you pay. 544 00:20:23,693 --> 00:20:24,770 Do whatever you want in your private life. 545 00:20:24,794 --> 00:20:26,526 Just keep it private. 546 00:20:26,596 --> 00:20:28,628 Good luck. 547 00:20:28,698 --> 00:20:30,178 I'm glad we can both get what we want. 548 00:20:30,260 --> 00:20:31,677 And please assure the royals when you see them 549 00:20:31,701 --> 00:20:33,933 that they won't hear a peep from me. 550 00:20:35,365 --> 00:20:38,338 (Black 47) ♫ got into town on a Saturday night ♫ 551 00:20:38,408 --> 00:20:40,239 ♫ with a Fender guitar ♫ 552 00:20:40,310 --> 00:20:41,411 Beer me. 553 00:20:41,711 --> 00:20:43,519 Perhaps you'd prefer something a little stronger. 554 00:20:43,543 --> 00:20:44,574 It's green. 555 00:20:44,774 --> 00:20:46,476 What are you so relaxed about? 556 00:20:46,546 --> 00:20:48,254 We both know that gossip girl's latest hiccup 557 00:20:48,278 --> 00:20:49,795 makes you look even worse in Blair's eyes. 558 00:20:49,819 --> 00:20:52,752 Maybe today, but at least she knows 559 00:20:52,822 --> 00:20:55,585 Dan isn't the good guy he pretends to be. 560 00:20:55,655 --> 00:20:56,986 In time, that'll sink in. 561 00:20:57,357 --> 00:21:00,290 She's not getting out of this royal mess anytime soon. 562 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:03,363 Oh, but she just did. That royal minder lady 563 00:21:03,433 --> 00:21:04,994 brokered the deal herself. 564 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:06,584 Although the hint of a new scandal 565 00:21:06,796 --> 00:21:08,797 could probably derail it if you act fast enough. 566 00:21:08,798 --> 00:21:11,401 Blair will come to her senses. 567 00:21:11,471 --> 00:21:12,572 What if she doesn't? 568 00:21:12,742 --> 00:21:14,019 What if you spend the rest of your days 569 00:21:14,043 --> 00:21:16,446 wondering why you didn't try and stop her 570 00:21:16,506 --> 00:21:17,523 from falling into the flannelled arms 571 00:21:17,547 --> 00:21:18,908 of that pretentious poseur? 572 00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:21,511 Anywho, something to think about. 573 00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:23,353 ♫♫♫ 574 00:21:23,413 --> 00:21:25,885 What do you have in mind? 575 00:21:25,955 --> 00:21:27,286 (Chuckles) 576 00:21:27,357 --> 00:21:28,637 Remember when I showed you this? 577 00:21:28,688 --> 00:21:32,822 ♫♫♫ 578 00:21:32,892 --> 00:21:35,395 How can I trust gossip girl wouldn't leave my fingerprints 579 00:21:35,465 --> 00:21:36,826 on another blast? 580 00:21:36,966 --> 00:21:39,068 You can't, which is why we use her latest screwup 581 00:21:39,329 --> 00:21:42,031 to our advantage and leave somebody else's instead. 582 00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:44,073 Oh, look. Dan's phone. 583 00:21:44,334 --> 00:21:46,876 It must have fallen out of his coat and into my purse. 584 00:21:46,936 --> 00:21:49,078 I'm sorry, Carol, but I'm gonna have to ask you 585 00:21:49,339 --> 00:21:51,741 to let me search your bag. Laryssa saw you pocket... 586 00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:54,513 Lily, this is beneath even you. 587 00:21:54,514 --> 00:21:55,985 I see some things never change... 588 00:21:56,045 --> 00:21:59,349 The maid accusing my ex sister-in-law of stealing. 589 00:21:59,419 --> 00:22:00,496 William, what a lovely surprise. 590 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:01,621 Hello, dear. 591 00:22:01,691 --> 00:22:03,453 Doesn't dad look great? 592 00:22:03,523 --> 00:22:04,824 And how are you, Carol? 593 00:22:04,894 --> 00:22:05,894 Under surveillance. 594 00:22:06,356 --> 00:22:08,358 Lily has been shadowing me all afternoon. 595 00:22:08,428 --> 00:22:09,535 That's because I knew you'd try to steal something, 596 00:22:09,559 --> 00:22:10,600 and apparently you did. 597 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:11,937 Do you see what I have to deal with, 598 00:22:11,961 --> 00:22:13,803 while my own mother lies right here? 599 00:22:13,863 --> 00:22:15,334 All right, Carol, I've had enough. 600 00:22:15,405 --> 00:22:16,882 I want you out of my apartment this minute. 601 00:22:16,906 --> 00:22:19,469 Technically, it's Cece's apartment. 602 00:22:19,539 --> 00:22:21,511 What are you talking about? 603 00:22:21,571 --> 00:22:22,712 This is our home. 604 00:22:23,012 --> 00:22:24,420 Only because your mother bought it for us. 605 00:22:24,444 --> 00:22:27,116 Remember? For tax purposes, of course. 606 00:22:27,377 --> 00:22:28,478 (Sighs) 607 00:22:28,578 --> 00:22:29,858 But now it's part of the estate. 608 00:22:29,919 --> 00:22:32,351 William, thank you again for coming. 609 00:22:32,422 --> 00:22:34,684 And I would appreciate it if you would leave the settling 610 00:22:34,754 --> 00:22:37,026 of mother's affairs to the executor of her estate. 611 00:22:37,086 --> 00:22:42,392 That's exactly what I'm doing. I am her executor. 612 00:22:42,462 --> 00:22:45,395 And I brought her will. 613 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,072 Ladies, I know this must come as a shock, 614 00:22:53,142 --> 00:22:54,674 but as you well know, your mother and I 615 00:22:54,744 --> 00:22:56,806 had a long and enduring friendship. 616 00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:59,409 It's just, of all the people for Cece to pick, 617 00:22:59,479 --> 00:23:00,810 I find it curious that she chooses 618 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:03,553 the father of Lily's children. 619 00:23:03,613 --> 00:23:05,060 Well, she couldn't very well have asked the father of yours. 620 00:23:05,084 --> 00:23:06,662 There aren't enough d.N.A. Tests in dade county 621 00:23:06,686 --> 00:23:08,017 to find him. 622 00:23:08,387 --> 00:23:09,865 (William) I think I'll let you two blow off some steam. 623 00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:11,060 If you'll excuse me. 624 00:23:11,120 --> 00:23:12,422 (Clears throat) 625 00:23:12,492 --> 00:23:13,693 ♫♫♫ 626 00:23:13,763 --> 00:23:15,895 Hi again. I'm Lola, Carol's daughter. 627 00:23:15,965 --> 00:23:17,066 The real one. 628 00:23:17,126 --> 00:23:18,428 What can I do for you? 629 00:23:18,498 --> 00:23:19,705 Well, I just recently found out 630 00:23:19,729 --> 00:23:21,030 that I'm a part of this family, 631 00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,833 and I was wondering why I was never allowed to know. 632 00:23:23,903 --> 00:23:25,681 So I thought, you know, you've known my mom longer 633 00:23:25,705 --> 00:23:27,837 than anyone aside from Lily... 634 00:23:27,907 --> 00:23:29,138 Excuse me. 635 00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:30,640 Mom, do you mind? 636 00:23:30,710 --> 00:23:31,811 Yes, actually, I do. 637 00:23:32,041 --> 00:23:33,513 You'll let me know when you need me, 638 00:23:33,583 --> 00:23:34,944 won't you, William? 639 00:23:39,649 --> 00:23:41,190 Miss Blair, I'm so sorry, 640 00:23:41,451 --> 00:23:42,771 but Ms. Estee jedi-mind-tricked me 641 00:23:42,952 --> 00:23:44,930 into telling her you at wake. Too many secrets lately. 642 00:23:44,954 --> 00:23:47,026 I-I feel like tinker tailor soldier spy. 643 00:23:47,096 --> 00:23:48,998 Oh, it's fine. I'm glad estee found me. 644 00:23:49,058 --> 00:23:51,461 Everything's gonna work out perfectly now. 645 00:23:51,531 --> 00:23:52,862 That's not what Mr. Cyrus say. 646 00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:54,634 He's been trying to call you for last hour. 647 00:23:54,704 --> 00:23:55,905 Why you no answer phone? 648 00:23:55,965 --> 00:23:57,467 I put it on silent. I'm at a wake. 649 00:23:57,637 --> 00:23:59,044 And you can tell Cyrus he doesn't need to worry. 650 00:23:59,068 --> 00:24:00,970 I took care of the annulment myself. 651 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:04,714 Then why grimaldis just call him and ask for all the money now? 652 00:24:04,774 --> 00:24:07,076 Well, they agreed to waive the dowry 653 00:24:07,146 --> 00:24:09,048 as long as I completely stayed out of the press. 654 00:24:09,118 --> 00:24:14,484 Maybe Princess Sophie read "gossip girl" again, then. 655 00:24:14,554 --> 00:24:17,887 "Please post a.S.A.P. Dan." (Gasps) 656 00:24:17,957 --> 00:24:22,091 "I, Celia Catherine rhodes, of Montecito, California, 657 00:24:22,161 --> 00:24:23,893 "being of sound mind and body, 658 00:24:23,963 --> 00:24:27,637 "do hereby declare this to be my last will and testament. 659 00:24:27,697 --> 00:24:30,870 "First, I leave my two andalusian thoroughbreds, 660 00:24:30,940 --> 00:24:34,774 "rickey and Reggie rhodes, to the valley ranch stables. 661 00:24:34,844 --> 00:24:36,644 Second, I leave my faberge egg collection..." 662 00:24:36,676 --> 00:24:37,907 Hey, dad, wait a second. 663 00:24:38,047 --> 00:24:40,680 Sorry. I just... I don't want her here for this. 664 00:24:42,682 --> 00:24:44,684 Is she bothering you? 665 00:24:44,754 --> 00:24:46,115 She's a con artist, William. 666 00:24:46,185 --> 00:24:47,617 And not a very good one. 667 00:24:47,887 --> 00:24:49,959 Nevertheless, your mother invited her to be here, 668 00:24:50,019 --> 00:24:54,894 so... I would like everybody to respect Cece's wishes, okay? 669 00:24:54,964 --> 00:24:56,596 Please. 670 00:24:56,666 --> 00:24:57,767 (Ivy clears throat) 671 00:24:58,067 --> 00:25:01,701 Now if there are no more interruptions... 672 00:25:01,771 --> 00:25:04,974 I think you dropped something. 673 00:25:05,034 --> 00:25:07,076 What... 674 00:25:07,136 --> 00:25:08,638 (The Cranberries' "dreams" playing) 675 00:25:08,708 --> 00:25:10,610 Are you insane? Blair's gonna think 676 00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:12,518 I actually sent this picture in to "gossip girl." 677 00:25:12,542 --> 00:25:14,043 Duh. That was the point. 678 00:25:14,113 --> 00:25:16,746 We had a deal, Georgina. You promised to protect me 679 00:25:16,816 --> 00:25:18,618 if I didn't tell anyone you were gossip girl. 680 00:25:18,688 --> 00:25:21,250 Mm-hmm. I sold you out, so start talking. 681 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:22,728 Look, I had fun being gossip girl, 682 00:25:22,752 --> 00:25:24,694 but I'm kind of over it. 683 00:25:24,754 --> 00:25:26,956 I'm just glad that the final blast was my masterpiece. 684 00:25:27,026 --> 00:25:28,828 I'm sorry if it ruins your life. 685 00:25:28,898 --> 00:25:31,060 It's not just mine. It's Blair's, the Waldorfs'. 686 00:25:31,130 --> 00:25:32,832 Oh. I know. What a mess. 687 00:25:32,902 --> 00:25:35,234 It's like I just took down the entire Upper East Side. 688 00:25:35,304 --> 00:25:36,305 (Chuckles) 689 00:25:36,606 --> 00:25:39,709 Oh. Here comes the bull's-eye. 690 00:25:39,769 --> 00:25:42,311 You Brooklyn Benedict Arnold, I can't believe you. 691 00:25:42,572 --> 00:25:43,643 It was Georgina. 692 00:25:43,713 --> 00:25:44,914 She's gossip girl. 693 00:25:45,174 --> 00:25:46,946 Oh, you will really say anything, won't you? 694 00:25:47,016 --> 00:25:49,619 Oh, no, that part's true. 695 00:25:49,679 --> 00:25:51,851 Well, half true. I hacked into g.G.'S web site 696 00:25:51,921 --> 00:25:53,559 a few months ago when she obviously skipped town 697 00:25:53,583 --> 00:25:55,825 and none of you noticed, and honestly, guys, 698 00:25:55,885 --> 00:25:57,102 the experience has been wonderful, 699 00:25:57,126 --> 00:25:58,858 but it's just as well it's over now. 700 00:25:58,928 --> 00:26:00,636 Okay, could you... could you tell her the important part? 701 00:26:00,660 --> 00:26:01,991 I didn't do this. 702 00:26:02,231 --> 00:26:03,839 How does it feel to be set up and lose the person you love 703 00:26:03,863 --> 00:26:05,234 for something you didn't do? 704 00:26:05,294 --> 00:26:08,598 ♫♫♫ 705 00:26:08,668 --> 00:26:11,300 Estee! Please. 706 00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:13,018 There must be a way to still salvage our deal 707 00:26:13,042 --> 00:26:14,042 with the grimaldis. 708 00:26:14,704 --> 00:26:16,606 There might be... If there ever was a deal. 709 00:26:16,676 --> 00:26:18,708 I'm sorry? 710 00:26:18,778 --> 00:26:21,811 Oh? The deal thing? Estee made it all up 711 00:26:21,881 --> 00:26:23,582 with my help, of course. 712 00:26:23,653 --> 00:26:24,760 We knew once Chuck heard you were free again, 713 00:26:24,784 --> 00:26:26,155 he'd do something foolish. 714 00:26:26,315 --> 00:26:27,733 Of course, even I didn't think it would happen this fast. 715 00:26:27,757 --> 00:26:29,719 Anyway, I must get back to Monaco. 716 00:26:29,789 --> 00:26:31,961 I have a prince to console. Cheers. 717 00:26:32,021 --> 00:26:33,021 Hmm. 718 00:26:33,262 --> 00:26:36,595 Standing ovation? Why, thank you. 719 00:26:36,666 --> 00:26:38,067 Oh, my god. 720 00:26:38,127 --> 00:26:41,170 I was just bitch-slapped by Bridget Jones. 721 00:26:41,230 --> 00:26:43,132 You don't realize what you've done. 722 00:26:43,202 --> 00:26:45,174 Yes, I do. I've brought to light the real villain, 723 00:26:45,234 --> 00:26:47,306 and let me give you a hint. It's not me. 724 00:26:47,376 --> 00:26:48,838 You bankrupted the Waldorf family. 725 00:26:49,008 --> 00:26:51,010 That's what paying this dowry is gonna do to them. 726 00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:52,812 It was that much? 727 00:26:53,713 --> 00:26:58,648 No. You left me no choice. 728 00:26:58,718 --> 00:26:59,925 It would be one thing losing Blair 729 00:26:59,949 --> 00:27:01,851 because she doesn't wanna be with me, 730 00:27:01,921 --> 00:27:04,794 but I only lost her because of something you did. 731 00:27:04,854 --> 00:27:07,032 Were you ever really my friend, or was it all just an act 732 00:27:07,056 --> 00:27:10,059 so you could keep me in check until you got what you wanted? 733 00:27:10,129 --> 00:27:12,337 Chuck, that is not how any of it happened, and you know it. 734 00:27:12,361 --> 00:27:13,833 You framed me, 735 00:27:14,003 --> 00:27:17,106 and in my book, that makes you the bad guy, not me. 736 00:27:17,166 --> 00:27:18,407 What's going on? 737 00:27:18,668 --> 00:27:20,309 Ever since the accident, 738 00:27:20,369 --> 00:27:22,641 Dan has been trying to keep us apart 739 00:27:22,712 --> 00:27:24,814 so you can have you all to himself. 740 00:27:24,874 --> 00:27:26,816 Be honest for once in your life. 741 00:27:26,876 --> 00:27:29,018 Tell her the truth. She deserves that. 742 00:27:34,884 --> 00:27:36,756 He's absolutely right. 743 00:27:38,057 --> 00:27:39,889 I'm sorry. 744 00:27:42,932 --> 00:27:44,694 (Sighs) 745 00:27:45,895 --> 00:27:48,838 "11... I leave my collection of early British watercolors 746 00:27:48,898 --> 00:27:50,339 to my youngest daughter, Lily." 747 00:27:50,399 --> 00:27:52,772 I'm sensing a pattern here. 748 00:27:52,842 --> 00:27:54,844 Oh, frankly, Carol, I'm surprised it took you 749 00:27:54,904 --> 00:27:56,852 this long to realize what mother really thought of you. 750 00:27:56,876 --> 00:27:58,353 Oh, come on, mom. We're almost done here. 751 00:27:58,377 --> 00:28:00,309 No, she knew that she was a greedy, spoiled... 752 00:28:00,379 --> 00:28:01,851 Excuse me, Lily. 753 00:28:01,951 --> 00:28:03,751 I'm not the one who's been married five times. 754 00:28:03,913 --> 00:28:05,414 (William) Ladies... 755 00:28:05,684 --> 00:28:06,856 Most of which was for money. 756 00:28:06,956 --> 00:28:08,193 Excuse me... Well, at least I didn't try 757 00:28:08,217 --> 00:28:09,859 and embezzle my own daughter's trust fund 758 00:28:09,919 --> 00:28:11,266 so I could go shopping at lululemon. 759 00:28:11,290 --> 00:28:13,062 Okay. The truth is, the only reason 760 00:28:13,222 --> 00:28:15,240 mother left you those trinkets... "As for the rest of my estate, 761 00:28:15,264 --> 00:28:17,372 all remaining property, artwork, antiques..." Is because you pretended 762 00:28:17,396 --> 00:28:19,975 to love her and she pretended to love you. "Stocks and bonds, bullion..." 763 00:28:19,999 --> 00:28:21,346 At least we had an honest relationship. "Contents of my safety deposit boxes 764 00:28:21,370 --> 00:28:23,032 and assorted holdings..." 765 00:28:23,102 --> 00:28:24,232 William, I can't hear a thing. 766 00:28:24,233 --> 00:28:27,136 "I leave... to you." 767 00:28:29,979 --> 00:28:32,181 Y-you mean Charlotte rhodes, my daughter. 768 00:28:32,241 --> 00:28:34,443 This is not the real Charlie rhodes. Lola is. 769 00:28:34,713 --> 00:28:38,347 No, I'm afraid not, Carol. It says... 770 00:28:38,417 --> 00:28:39,448 It says so right here. 771 00:28:39,718 --> 00:28:41,190 Ivy dickens. 772 00:28:53,462 --> 00:28:55,464 You are never gonna get away with this. 773 00:28:55,734 --> 00:28:56,465 Let's call the police. 774 00:28:56,735 --> 00:28:57,907 Oh, please. 775 00:28:58,067 --> 00:29:00,839 Wait. Look, I never asked Cece for anything. 776 00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:02,818 Oh, no, instead you poisoned her against her entire family 777 00:29:02,842 --> 00:29:05,915 and manipulated her into giving you everything. 778 00:29:05,975 --> 00:29:07,016 That's not true. 779 00:29:07,376 --> 00:29:09,478 Your grandmother just wanted someone to talk to. 780 00:29:09,748 --> 00:29:12,281 Oh, please. You don't think we can see through all your lies? 781 00:29:12,351 --> 00:29:14,784 You were a terrible actress when we first met, 782 00:29:14,854 --> 00:29:15,855 and you still are. 783 00:29:15,925 --> 00:29:16,925 Mom... 784 00:29:16,956 --> 00:29:18,227 I swear on my life 785 00:29:18,327 --> 00:29:20,229 all I ever did was help take care of her. 786 00:29:20,289 --> 00:29:22,892 I mean, I even tried to tell you that she was sick. 787 00:29:22,962 --> 00:29:23,893 Ohh. 788 00:29:23,963 --> 00:29:25,294 Oh, but conveniently failed. 789 00:29:25,464 --> 00:29:28,137 Look, will you please shut up? Forget about the money. 790 00:29:28,197 --> 00:29:29,338 That's easy for you to say. 791 00:29:29,398 --> 00:29:31,100 You each still have your trusts. 792 00:29:31,170 --> 00:29:33,142 Mine was liquidated years ago. 793 00:29:33,202 --> 00:29:36,445 How do we know Ivy didn't try to hasten our mother's death? 794 00:29:36,505 --> 00:29:39,909 Are you people crazy? Look, I loved her. 795 00:29:39,979 --> 00:29:42,251 That's my cue. I think I've heard enough. 796 00:29:42,311 --> 00:29:44,453 This... 797 00:29:44,513 --> 00:29:48,918 You can think whatever you want about me. 798 00:29:48,988 --> 00:29:51,490 But I never lied to Cece. 799 00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:52,862 Prove it. 800 00:29:52,922 --> 00:29:55,564 Well, didn't you hear the will? 801 00:29:55,825 --> 00:29:57,226 She didn't call me "Charlie rhodes." 802 00:29:57,296 --> 00:29:59,468 She called me "Ivy dickens." 803 00:29:59,528 --> 00:30:03,302 Your mother knew all of my secrets, 804 00:30:03,372 --> 00:30:06,435 and she knew all of yours, too. 805 00:30:06,505 --> 00:30:09,238 Maybe that's why she left me everything. 806 00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:13,512 Ever since the accident, I've been blaming myself, 807 00:30:13,582 --> 00:30:16,045 blaming Louis, but it was Humphrey behind it all. 808 00:30:16,115 --> 00:30:17,046 It's not that simple. 809 00:30:17,116 --> 00:30:18,447 Yes, it is, 810 00:30:18,918 --> 00:30:20,926 and now that we know the truth, there is nothing in our way. 811 00:30:20,950 --> 00:30:24,493 Humphrey's not the reason we're not together, 812 00:30:24,553 --> 00:30:26,095 and neither is the dowry. 813 00:30:26,155 --> 00:30:27,515 Is this about saving my life again? 814 00:30:27,826 --> 00:30:29,574 Because we're past that. You said you wanted to wait 815 00:30:29,598 --> 00:30:32,361 until your marriage was over. Now it's over. 816 00:30:32,431 --> 00:30:34,503 Chuck, I don't blame you. 817 00:30:34,563 --> 00:30:36,835 And as crazy as this all has gotten, 818 00:30:36,906 --> 00:30:39,268 I know why you did everything. 819 00:30:39,338 --> 00:30:40,339 Because I love you. 820 00:30:40,409 --> 00:30:42,872 And I love you. 821 00:30:44,273 --> 00:30:46,976 I always will. 822 00:30:47,046 --> 00:30:49,478 But that doesn't mean I'm in love with you. 823 00:30:51,250 --> 00:30:52,982 At least not right now, 824 00:30:53,052 --> 00:30:55,424 not the way you need me to be, not the way you deserve. 825 00:30:57,056 --> 00:30:59,088 I'm sorry. 826 00:30:59,158 --> 00:31:01,030 I have to go. 827 00:31:03,332 --> 00:31:04,533 Hey. 828 00:31:04,934 --> 00:31:07,266 Look, I know how that must have seemed up there, 829 00:31:07,336 --> 00:31:10,539 but Ivy dickens is a thief. She already stole your identity 830 00:31:10,599 --> 00:31:13,442 and your money, and now she's about to Rob the rest of us. 831 00:31:13,502 --> 00:31:15,474 Your family needs you right now. 832 00:31:15,544 --> 00:31:17,606 You're not my family, 833 00:31:17,876 --> 00:31:20,309 and honestly, after listening to everybody upstairs, 834 00:31:20,379 --> 00:31:22,281 the only person I feel sorry for is Ivy. 835 00:31:22,351 --> 00:31:24,583 She's a criminal. 836 00:31:24,653 --> 00:31:26,133 Because your family made her into one. 837 00:31:26,355 --> 00:31:28,063 Serena, all you people do is lie to each other 838 00:31:28,087 --> 00:31:30,659 and fight about money, so what's the difference, really? 839 00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:32,521 (Scoffs) 840 00:31:32,591 --> 00:31:34,994 You know, it was my own fault for sticking around today. 841 00:31:35,064 --> 00:31:36,104 I was dumb enough to think 842 00:31:36,565 --> 00:31:38,325 that there might be some answers here for me. 843 00:31:38,367 --> 00:31:41,070 At least now I know I was wrong. 844 00:31:48,307 --> 00:31:49,408 (Indistinct conversations) 845 00:31:49,478 --> 00:31:51,310 ♫♫♫ 846 00:31:51,380 --> 00:31:54,213 Care to join me, for old times' sake? 847 00:31:54,283 --> 00:31:56,915 Oh, cut the crap, William. 848 00:31:56,986 --> 00:31:58,647 You need to fix this. 849 00:31:58,917 --> 00:32:00,549 Cece's wishes are Cece's wishes. 850 00:32:00,619 --> 00:32:03,422 I don't care what she wanted. 851 00:32:03,492 --> 00:32:08,427 Today was supposed to be my payday, and you know that. 852 00:32:08,497 --> 00:32:10,429 I understand you're upset. 853 00:32:10,499 --> 00:32:13,332 No, you don't understand a thing. 854 00:32:13,402 --> 00:32:16,135 If you can't find a way to make this right, 855 00:32:16,205 --> 00:32:21,070 I'm gonna be forced to resort to other ways to get my money. 856 00:32:21,140 --> 00:32:22,511 Like getting a real job? 857 00:32:22,671 --> 00:32:25,614 I've always hesitated going after Lola's father 858 00:32:25,674 --> 00:32:30,419 for child support he owes me, oh, almost 20 years. 859 00:32:30,479 --> 00:32:33,352 Good luck with that. 860 00:32:33,422 --> 00:32:35,124 Do you even know who he is? 861 00:32:35,184 --> 00:32:37,987 I'm looking right at him. 862 00:32:40,659 --> 00:32:44,033 Sorry I never told you, but not as sorry as you're gonna be 863 00:32:44,093 --> 00:32:47,466 when Lily finds out what we were doing while you were married, 864 00:32:47,536 --> 00:32:51,500 unless, of course, you have another idea? 865 00:32:51,570 --> 00:32:53,972 (Under breath) This just is my lucky day. 866 00:32:54,043 --> 00:32:58,047 Spotted... Dr. Van Der Woodsen white as a sheet. 867 00:32:58,107 --> 00:32:59,978 Looks like the rules of this rhodes 868 00:33:00,049 --> 00:33:04,413 just changed before his very eyes. 869 00:33:14,093 --> 00:33:16,025 (Elevator bell dings) 870 00:33:17,026 --> 00:33:18,297 How'd you get past the doorman? 871 00:33:18,697 --> 00:33:21,470 Wait. I don't even wanna know. 872 00:33:21,530 --> 00:33:23,672 (Chuckles) Look, I know no one believes a word I say, 873 00:33:23,732 --> 00:33:26,135 but I really didn't mean to hurt you. 874 00:33:26,205 --> 00:33:27,676 You were just collateral damage. 875 00:33:27,736 --> 00:33:29,408 Well, if it had been anyone else but me, 876 00:33:29,478 --> 00:33:31,009 I might believe you, but we both know 877 00:33:31,140 --> 00:33:33,342 you've always wanted to settle the score between us. 878 00:33:33,412 --> 00:33:34,743 You have to understand. 879 00:33:35,013 --> 00:33:37,246 When I decided to stop being gossip girl, 880 00:33:37,316 --> 00:33:39,017 I knew that anyone who knew or found out 881 00:33:39,088 --> 00:33:40,449 would have it out for me. 882 00:33:40,619 --> 00:33:42,521 So I realized I'd better start collecting favors 883 00:33:42,591 --> 00:33:44,653 to use as protection down the line. 884 00:33:44,723 --> 00:33:46,695 Running that picture of you kissing Dan 885 00:33:46,755 --> 00:33:50,359 was my golden ticket to use with Chuck down the road. 886 00:33:50,429 --> 00:33:52,201 I'd love one from you, too. 887 00:33:52,261 --> 00:33:54,533 Are you using again? 888 00:33:54,603 --> 00:33:57,306 (Scoffs) Why would I ever make myself indebted to you? 889 00:33:57,366 --> 00:33:59,308 Because I have a way that your family 890 00:33:59,368 --> 00:34:01,570 doesn't have to pay the grimaldis a thing, 891 00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:03,642 and you get your divorce in the process. 892 00:34:03,712 --> 00:34:05,814 Even you can't pull that rabbit out of your hat. 893 00:34:06,075 --> 00:34:09,648 (Sighs) I was gossip girl for two months. 894 00:34:09,718 --> 00:34:12,721 You have no idea the dirt I have on people. 895 00:34:12,781 --> 00:34:15,484 I've been so good for so long, 896 00:34:15,554 --> 00:34:17,326 it's time for me to be bad. 897 00:34:17,386 --> 00:34:18,827 I can help you. 898 00:34:19,088 --> 00:34:22,331 Let me solve all your problems. 899 00:34:30,068 --> 00:34:31,140 Fine. 900 00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:32,541 Anything to be done with this. 901 00:34:32,601 --> 00:34:34,001 Do what you can, and if you succeed, 902 00:34:34,143 --> 00:34:37,146 then I'll enjoy whatever horror you concoct. 903 00:34:37,206 --> 00:34:39,608 Believe me, I won't let you down, 904 00:34:39,678 --> 00:34:44,383 and you won't let me down, either, when I come back. 905 00:34:45,354 --> 00:34:46,685 (Sighs) 906 00:34:46,855 --> 00:34:51,220 (Wye oak) ♫ where are you going? I don't mind ♫ 907 00:34:51,290 --> 00:34:56,295 ♫ I've killed my world, and I've killed my time ♫ 908 00:34:56,365 --> 00:34:57,426 Charles. 909 00:34:57,596 --> 00:35:00,699 Lily, I'm sorry for your loss. 910 00:35:00,769 --> 00:35:04,102 Oh. (Sighs) Tough day, as they say. 911 00:35:04,173 --> 00:35:05,474 For you, too? 912 00:35:05,734 --> 00:35:09,178 Oh, no, I wouldn't dream of adding to your burden. 913 00:35:09,238 --> 00:35:11,440 Oh, come on. You never have. 914 00:35:11,510 --> 00:35:13,782 It would be a good distraction. 915 00:35:13,842 --> 00:35:14,842 What's wrong? 916 00:35:15,244 --> 00:35:18,347 Blair. She walked away from me today, 917 00:35:18,417 --> 00:35:20,789 and not like she has done in the past. 918 00:35:20,849 --> 00:35:22,751 It was different. 919 00:35:22,821 --> 00:35:24,553 ♫ Is still open to me ♫ 920 00:35:24,623 --> 00:35:26,595 I feel like she's changing. 921 00:35:26,655 --> 00:35:29,458 ♫ Strangers on this road we are on ♫ 922 00:35:29,528 --> 00:35:31,160 I know I didn't die in the car accident, 923 00:35:31,230 --> 00:35:32,731 but sometimes it feels like I did. 924 00:35:32,801 --> 00:35:36,205 Don't say that. You survived, and it was a miracle. 925 00:35:36,265 --> 00:35:37,906 Yeah. 926 00:35:38,167 --> 00:35:39,338 Thanks to Saint Waldorf. 927 00:35:39,408 --> 00:35:41,510 You mean thanks to Saint Jack. 928 00:35:43,412 --> 00:35:46,175 The doctors didn't tell you? 929 00:35:46,245 --> 00:35:49,918 Oh, it's all such a blur now. Um... 930 00:35:50,179 --> 00:35:52,621 When you were in surgery, there was a complication, 931 00:35:52,681 --> 00:35:56,485 and they needed a family member for a blood transfusion, 932 00:35:56,555 --> 00:35:58,787 and I gave the doctors Jack's number. 933 00:35:58,857 --> 00:36:00,789 Jack? 934 00:36:00,859 --> 00:36:01,890 Yes. 935 00:36:05,694 --> 00:36:07,496 You haven't lived until you've tried 936 00:36:07,566 --> 00:36:09,738 caramel mousse and chocolate. (Chuckles) 937 00:36:09,798 --> 00:36:12,201 Are you just gonna ply me with sweets until I cheer up? 938 00:36:12,271 --> 00:36:13,918 Because I think I'll probably go into sugar shock 939 00:36:13,942 --> 00:36:15,404 before that happens. 940 00:36:15,474 --> 00:36:16,775 I am so sorry. I mean, truly. 941 00:36:16,845 --> 00:36:19,908 No, don't be. You're about the only good thing 942 00:36:20,178 --> 00:36:22,281 in my life right now. 943 00:36:22,351 --> 00:36:25,384 (Cell phone ringing) 944 00:36:25,454 --> 00:36:27,386 Sorry. Hello? 945 00:36:27,456 --> 00:36:29,818 Lola. It's William Van Der Woodsen. 946 00:36:29,888 --> 00:36:30,819 Hey. 947 00:36:30,889 --> 00:36:32,521 Sorry to bother you. 948 00:36:32,691 --> 00:36:34,599 I just felt badly we weren't able to finish our conversation, 949 00:36:34,623 --> 00:36:37,266 so I asked Serena for your phone number. 950 00:36:37,326 --> 00:36:40,269 Oh, no. You know, today was a lot for everybody, 951 00:36:40,329 --> 00:36:43,402 so... no apology necessary. 952 00:36:43,472 --> 00:36:45,704 Well, I'm at the empire if you need to reach me, okay? 953 00:36:45,774 --> 00:36:49,438 Okay. Great. Yeah. I'll call you then, I guess. 954 00:36:49,508 --> 00:36:50,939 Bye. 955 00:36:51,209 --> 00:36:53,282 ♫ We are one ♫ 956 00:36:53,342 --> 00:36:58,787 ♫ we are not two, we are one ♫ 957 00:36:58,847 --> 00:37:00,749 So after all that, 958 00:37:00,819 --> 00:37:03,722 you're really just giving up "gossip girl"? 959 00:37:03,792 --> 00:37:05,524 Well, with Chuck and Blair beholden to me, 960 00:37:05,594 --> 00:37:07,456 I'm more powerful than ever. 961 00:37:07,526 --> 00:37:09,428 It's time to pass the "gossip girl" Baton. 962 00:37:09,498 --> 00:37:12,301 Let someone else see if they can outshine me, 963 00:37:12,361 --> 00:37:14,303 or at the very least, die trying. 964 00:37:14,363 --> 00:37:18,367 Now be a doll and send this for me. 965 00:37:18,437 --> 00:37:20,839 My flight to Monaco is in two hours, 966 00:37:20,909 --> 00:37:22,641 and be very careful with this. 967 00:37:22,711 --> 00:37:25,974 There's stuff on this laptop that'll blow people's minds. 968 00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:28,447 Bring back pictures. 969 00:37:28,517 --> 00:37:30,579 Don't you worry. 970 00:37:34,953 --> 00:37:36,455 (Elevator bell dings) 971 00:37:36,525 --> 00:37:37,756 Bye. 972 00:37:39,658 --> 00:37:43,862 (Sighs) Finally, some peace and quiet. 973 00:37:43,932 --> 00:37:45,894 I'm sorry. 974 00:37:45,964 --> 00:37:49,338 Am I interrupting something? 975 00:37:50,499 --> 00:37:53,001 Yes, you are. It's been a long day for everyone. 976 00:37:53,271 --> 00:37:54,643 I think it'd be best if you left. 977 00:37:54,873 --> 00:37:57,306 I was just gonna say the same thing... 978 00:37:57,376 --> 00:37:58,807 But to the two of you. 979 00:37:58,877 --> 00:38:01,510 What are you talking about? 980 00:38:01,580 --> 00:38:04,613 (Sighs) 981 00:38:05,714 --> 00:38:08,517 This is my apartment now. 982 00:38:09,718 --> 00:38:11,019 That's ridiculous. 983 00:38:11,390 --> 00:38:12,967 You think we're just gonna let you live here. 984 00:38:12,991 --> 00:38:16,865 (Chuckles) This all just needs to get sorted out. 985 00:38:16,925 --> 00:38:18,467 Naturally. 986 00:38:18,597 --> 00:38:21,570 But you'll have to do it from someplace else. 987 00:38:21,630 --> 00:38:23,402 Oh, and where are we supposed to go? 988 00:38:23,472 --> 00:38:25,610 It's not like we have another apartment in the city. It's... 989 00:38:25,634 --> 00:38:26,575 Yes, we do, lil. 990 00:38:26,635 --> 00:38:27,776 Oh. (Sighs) 991 00:38:27,836 --> 00:38:28,837 Come on. 992 00:38:29,307 --> 00:38:32,841 (Among savages' "New York City" playing) 993 00:38:35,614 --> 00:38:36,945 I'll just get my things. 994 00:38:37,346 --> 00:38:40,719 ♫ New York City, where all your girls are pretty ♫ 995 00:38:40,789 --> 00:38:42,821 ♫ all your men are running from somewhere ♫ 996 00:38:42,891 --> 00:38:45,794 ♫ making a name for themselves ♫ 997 00:38:45,854 --> 00:38:47,926 ♫ are you running from something? ♫ 998 00:38:47,996 --> 00:38:50,599 ♫ Or did you come from nothing? ♫ 999 00:38:50,659 --> 00:38:52,030 ♫ Are you testing the lord ♫ 1000 00:38:52,401 --> 00:38:54,833 ♫ with the cards that you've been dealt? ♫ 1001 00:38:54,903 --> 00:38:58,406 Oh, Ms. Serena. I tidy up later. 1002 00:38:58,407 --> 00:38:59,868 No, it's okay. 1003 00:38:59,938 --> 00:39:02,340 ♫ Hard enough to find a friend when... ♫ 1004 00:39:02,411 --> 00:39:06,344 It was beautiful wake for Ms. Cece. 1005 00:39:06,415 --> 00:39:07,876 Good-byes never easy. 1006 00:39:07,946 --> 00:39:10,949 Yeah, I know, but that's all I seem to say these days... 1007 00:39:11,019 --> 00:39:15,684 To my grandma, to jobs, to boys, to everything. 1008 00:39:15,754 --> 00:39:18,387 I'm just sick of good-byes. 1009 00:39:18,527 --> 00:39:21,059 Something new arrive soon. 1010 00:39:21,129 --> 00:39:22,561 ♫ Walking on ♫ 1011 00:39:22,631 --> 00:39:24,493 It always does. 1012 00:39:24,563 --> 00:39:27,696 I hope so. 1013 00:39:27,766 --> 00:39:29,838 I'm ready for it, whatever it is. 1014 00:39:29,898 --> 00:39:31,776 ♫ 'cause every day is a gift, every day is a gift ♫ 1015 00:39:31,800 --> 00:39:33,472 ♫ and it's all slipping away ♫ 1016 00:39:33,542 --> 00:39:34,803 (Click) 1017 00:39:44,483 --> 00:39:47,115 Attention, upper east siders. 1018 00:39:47,385 --> 00:39:49,618 After everything that happened today, 1019 00:39:49,688 --> 00:39:52,090 I've decided I need a little break 1020 00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:53,692 to catch my breath. 1021 00:39:53,762 --> 00:39:56,024 I'm sure you do, too. 1022 00:39:56,094 --> 00:39:58,697 But don't worry. I'll be back. 1023 00:39:58,767 --> 00:40:01,029 I always am. 1024 00:40:03,001 --> 00:40:04,032 (Door opens) 1025 00:40:04,102 --> 00:40:05,103 ♫ now if you leave ♫ 1026 00:40:05,403 --> 00:40:07,536 ♫ will you feel defeated? ♫ 1027 00:40:07,606 --> 00:40:09,838 ♫ 'cause you didn't take from the city ♫ 1028 00:40:09,908 --> 00:40:11,940 ♫ as much as the city took from you ♫ 1029 00:40:12,010 --> 00:40:13,442 (Sighs) Well, if you came here 1030 00:40:13,512 --> 00:40:15,143 to tell me what a horrible person I am, 1031 00:40:15,413 --> 00:40:17,986 then you're too late. I already know. 1032 00:40:18,046 --> 00:40:20,088 That's not why I came. 1033 00:40:20,148 --> 00:40:23,852 You got back together with Chuck? 1034 00:40:23,922 --> 00:40:25,624 No. 1035 00:40:27,496 --> 00:40:28,496 (Sighs) 1036 00:40:28,727 --> 00:40:30,559 ♫ the wind don't seem a miracle ♫ 1037 00:40:30,629 --> 00:40:32,931 Are you... Moving to a desert island 1038 00:40:33,001 --> 00:40:34,201 where there are no men at all, 1039 00:40:34,503 --> 00:40:36,110 and you'll be living the rest of your life 1040 00:40:36,134 --> 00:40:39,107 in peaceful solitude? 1041 00:40:39,167 --> 00:40:40,539 No. 1042 00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:47,576 I told Chuck he doesn't have my heart anymore. 1043 00:40:49,147 --> 00:40:53,682 I realized it belongs to someone else. 1044 00:40:57,556 --> 00:40:59,728 ♫ You came here with nothing ♫ 1045 00:40:59,788 --> 00:41:01,630 ♫ and you leave here with the same ♫ 1046 00:41:01,690 --> 00:41:03,732 ♫ sometimes the road that you were walking on ♫ 1047 00:41:03,792 --> 00:41:07,235 Uh, so, Dan, are you gonna invite me in or what? 1048 00:41:07,496 --> 00:41:09,538 ♫ Just come as you are ♫ 1049 00:41:09,598 --> 00:41:11,600 What? 1050 00:41:11,670 --> 00:41:12,841 You just said my name. 1051 00:41:12,901 --> 00:41:13,901 Dan? 1052 00:41:14,072 --> 00:41:15,504 Yeah. You just said it again. 1053 00:41:15,574 --> 00:41:16,805 (Chuckles) Dan. 1054 00:41:16,875 --> 00:41:17,906 Say it again. 1055 00:41:17,976 --> 00:41:19,848 (Chuckles) Dan. 1056 00:41:19,908 --> 00:41:23,582 Mmm. Dan. 1057 00:41:23,652 --> 00:41:24,883 Mmm. 1058 00:41:25,253 --> 00:41:29,858 And when I return, I bet it'll be a whole new world. 1059 00:41:29,918 --> 00:41:34,693 X.o.x.o. Gossip girl.