1 00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:06,177 Into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. 2 00:00:06,237 --> 00:00:07,237 How about a tour? 3 00:00:07,278 --> 00:00:08,679 Absolutely. 4 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:11,018 It is my house. Don't you think you should be the one to go? 5 00:00:11,042 --> 00:00:13,390 Actually, this is my house. Nice to meet you, by the way, um... 6 00:00:13,414 --> 00:00:14,515 Nate. 7 00:00:14,785 --> 00:00:16,123 How would you like to keep working for me? 8 00:00:16,147 --> 00:00:17,147 I would love to. 9 00:00:17,448 --> 00:00:19,026 I have to say it was a pretty devious plan. 10 00:00:19,050 --> 00:00:22,323 Thank you, Ivy. You played your part perfectly. 11 00:00:22,393 --> 00:00:24,725 One month anniversary of our move. 12 00:00:24,795 --> 00:00:26,273 Ivy, stop talking to your boyfriend and start working. 13 00:00:26,297 --> 00:00:28,499 Charlie! Oh, my gosh! 14 00:00:28,559 --> 00:00:29,730 What are you doing here? 15 00:00:30,101 --> 00:00:31,632 Why would Vanessa steal your story? 16 00:00:31,702 --> 00:00:34,034 To teach me a lesson. 17 00:00:34,105 --> 00:00:36,243 People write songs about wiping out on our L.A. roadways. 18 00:00:36,267 --> 00:00:37,344 I'm not scared of anything. 19 00:00:37,368 --> 00:00:39,310 (Tires screech) 20 00:00:39,370 --> 00:00:41,372 (Woman) Do they know? 21 00:00:41,442 --> 00:00:42,643 Know what? 22 00:00:43,114 --> 00:00:45,345 How far along you are. I'd say... six weeks? 23 00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:46,447 (Whispers) I'm not pregnant. 24 00:00:46,517 --> 00:00:47,678 Lie to me all you want, 25 00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:49,356 but your body will be telling the whole world 26 00:00:49,380 --> 00:00:51,552 the truth by the time of your wedding. 27 00:00:52,723 --> 00:00:55,086 And who am I? 28 00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:58,529 That's a secret I'll never tell. 29 00:00:58,589 --> 00:01:00,531 You know you love me. 30 00:01:00,591 --> 00:01:02,493 X.o.x.o., gossip girl. 31 00:01:02,563 --> 00:01:05,366 Captioned by closed captioning services, inc. 32 00:01:05,436 --> 00:01:07,314 (Gossip girl) Rise and shine, upper east siders. 33 00:01:07,338 --> 00:01:10,171 It's time for your annual checkup. 34 00:01:10,241 --> 00:01:11,802 Lucky for you, doctors take 35 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:15,406 their confidentiality seriously around here. 36 00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:18,509 (Foster the people's "pumped up kicks" playing) 37 00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:21,081 Are you sure this doctor's reputable? 38 00:01:21,152 --> 00:01:23,254 Your prenatal care is imperative. 39 00:01:23,314 --> 00:01:25,386 You never care about my womb before. 40 00:01:25,556 --> 00:01:28,389 Maybe this is way to avoid 41 00:01:28,459 --> 00:01:30,261 seeing Mr. Louis off on trip to Monaco 42 00:01:30,321 --> 00:01:32,523 for feast of assumption holiday. 43 00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,371 Louis' sister Beatrice is picking him up at noon 44 00:01:34,395 --> 00:01:35,726 in their jet, which gives us 45 00:01:36,167 --> 00:01:37,674 plenty of time to discuss your gestational issues. 46 00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:40,131 Dorota, how are you feeling? 47 00:01:40,201 --> 00:01:42,603 She's fine. I'm Blair, Dorota's employer. 48 00:01:42,673 --> 00:01:44,605 I have a few questions. 49 00:01:44,675 --> 00:01:46,337 Just go with it. Is only way. 50 00:01:46,537 --> 00:01:50,141 I need to ask you how long her morning sickness will last. 51 00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:54,845 As I'm naturally empathetic, the mere discussion of food... 52 00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:58,549 Not to mention the odor, the taste... 53 00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,421 It should ease off in the first trimester. 54 00:02:00,491 --> 00:02:03,324 And... what about breast sensitivity? 55 00:02:03,394 --> 00:02:04,495 Miss Blair! 56 00:02:04,555 --> 00:02:06,827 Is the one asking the questions. 57 00:02:06,897 --> 00:02:09,700 You see, she practically screams when anyone touches them. 58 00:02:09,760 --> 00:02:11,702 I can hear her all the way from queens. 59 00:02:11,762 --> 00:02:13,704 Sensitivity's totally normal. 60 00:02:13,764 --> 00:02:16,507 Okay. And, um, how long till she can determine 61 00:02:16,567 --> 00:02:18,369 the father of her child? 62 00:02:18,439 --> 00:02:21,542 She's had a few one-night stands with the staff of our building. 63 00:02:21,612 --> 00:02:23,714 Blair Cornelia Waldorf! 64 00:02:23,774 --> 00:02:25,476 You two should work this out. 65 00:02:25,546 --> 00:02:27,748 Dorota can come back another time... 66 00:02:27,818 --> 00:02:28,819 Alone. 67 00:02:33,554 --> 00:02:35,256 I'm sorry. 68 00:02:35,326 --> 00:02:38,629 I-I don't know what's come over me. 69 00:02:39,930 --> 00:02:41,532 Yes, you do. 70 00:02:42,633 --> 00:02:46,467 You are pregnant, too. 71 00:02:46,537 --> 00:02:48,199 We are like sisters now! 72 00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:49,440 Cousins. 73 00:02:49,500 --> 00:02:52,403 Distant cousins. 74 00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:53,953 Miss Blair, why you not say you are... 75 00:02:54,205 --> 00:02:56,607 Do not utter the word. 76 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,279 No one must know. 77 00:02:58,549 --> 00:03:00,687 Well, at least not until I have some time to figure things out. 78 00:03:00,711 --> 00:03:03,914 I don't care what you say. I hug you anyway for luck. 79 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:06,887 ♫ You'd better run, better run, outrun my gun ♫ 80 00:03:06,957 --> 00:03:08,759 And keep secret. 81 00:03:08,859 --> 00:03:10,861 ♫ All the other kids with the pumped up kicks ♫ 82 00:03:10,921 --> 00:03:13,424 ♫ you'd better run, better run ♫ 83 00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:15,226 ♫ outrun my gun ♫ 84 00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:18,269 ♫ all the other kids with the pumped up kicks ♫ 85 00:03:18,329 --> 00:03:20,771 ♫ you'd better run, better run ♫ 86 00:03:20,831 --> 00:03:22,673 ♫ faster than my bullet ♫ 87 00:03:22,733 --> 00:03:24,204 I'm sorry. It's not you... 88 00:03:24,335 --> 00:03:26,477 I'm so sick of all you guys on antidepressants. 89 00:03:26,537 --> 00:03:28,208 (Scoffs) 90 00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:30,681 It's a good thing you don't offer satisfaction guaranteed, 91 00:03:30,741 --> 00:03:32,613 or she'd be your third refund this week. 92 00:03:32,683 --> 00:03:33,744 (Exhales deeply) 93 00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,222 Do you need pharmaceutical assistance? 94 00:03:35,246 --> 00:03:36,423 Yeah, I wish weed was the answer. 95 00:03:36,447 --> 00:03:37,688 I meant Viagra. 96 00:03:37,748 --> 00:03:40,391 (Sighs) No, everything works down there. 97 00:03:40,451 --> 00:03:41,792 It's here that's the problem. 98 00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:44,295 I just can't stop thinking about that woman from L.A. 99 00:03:44,355 --> 00:03:46,557 It's understandable, given your mother issues. 100 00:03:46,627 --> 00:03:47,898 She called twice. 101 00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:50,701 She did? Did she leave a number or at least her name? 102 00:03:50,761 --> 00:03:53,704 (Scoffs) Last I heard, it was Anne Archibald. 103 00:03:53,764 --> 00:03:57,007 (Scoffs) Yeah, well, in an attempt 104 00:03:57,268 --> 00:03:58,988 to take some of your advice about my future, 105 00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,517 I asked my mom if she could help me 106 00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:01,972 get an internship this fall. 107 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,844 Schumer and Lloyd blankfein at Goldman 108 00:04:03,914 --> 00:04:06,747 are both interested, and now she wants me to choose. 109 00:04:06,817 --> 00:04:09,620 So call your mommy. Pick either job. 110 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:11,882 Forget about your mysterious lady from L.A. 111 00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:14,455 If a woman wants to see you again, 112 00:04:14,525 --> 00:04:17,558 she generally tells you her name. 113 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,910 What happened to the son helping the father make breakfast? 114 00:04:23,934 --> 00:04:25,896 You've been on that computer since you got here. 115 00:04:25,966 --> 00:04:27,744 I know. Sorry. I'm... I'm trying to figure out 116 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:31,001 which publisher has my book so I can stop it from coming out. 117 00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,873 And Jeremiah Harris wasn't any help? 118 00:04:32,943 --> 00:04:34,063 No, no, the only clue I have 119 00:04:34,305 --> 00:04:35,652 is this, uh, check Vanessa sent me. 120 00:04:35,676 --> 00:04:37,277 I'm sorry. I'll be one more minute, 121 00:04:37,408 --> 00:04:40,681 and then I will be in there to burn the bacon, I swear. 122 00:04:45,456 --> 00:04:46,957 Uh... 123 00:04:47,017 --> 00:04:48,359 (Typing) 124 00:04:51,462 --> 00:04:52,493 (Beep) 125 00:04:52,563 --> 00:04:54,695 (Sighs) 126 00:04:59,670 --> 00:05:00,971 (Beep) 127 00:05:01,031 --> 00:05:02,373 (Phone rings) 128 00:05:02,433 --> 00:05:03,374 (Ring) 129 00:05:03,434 --> 00:05:04,375 Hey! 130 00:05:04,435 --> 00:05:05,706 Hey. Um, listen, 131 00:05:05,776 --> 00:05:09,309 I know you're probably on your way to surf 132 00:05:09,380 --> 00:05:10,987 or hanging out at Cameron Diaz's house, but, uh, 133 00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:12,943 I was wondering if you could share 134 00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:15,886 some of your bank breaking secrets with me. 135 00:05:15,946 --> 00:05:18,519 Well, I thought you did all your scheming with Blair. 136 00:05:18,589 --> 00:05:19,850 No, she's not speaking to me. 137 00:05:20,090 --> 00:05:22,322 I just need, um, to help Vanessa with a bounced check, 138 00:05:22,393 --> 00:05:24,525 and I can't reach her. I was thinking that, 139 00:05:24,595 --> 00:05:27,528 you know, whatever you did to get into Lily's safe deposit box 140 00:05:27,598 --> 00:05:30,361 might also work for me. 141 00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:31,932 Oh, well, that was all Chuck. 142 00:05:32,002 --> 00:05:33,940 He slept with the girl at the bank. But knowing him, 143 00:05:33,964 --> 00:05:36,667 there are many more girls at many more banks. 144 00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,068 You should ask him. 145 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,511 Right. Chuck. Okay, thanks. 146 00:05:40,571 --> 00:05:41,971 So are you really staying out there? 147 00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:44,675 Well, I got a great job, and Charlie's here. 148 00:05:44,745 --> 00:05:47,077 Char-Charlie as in "call me Serena" cousin Charlie 149 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,579 who moved back to Florida? 150 00:05:48,919 --> 00:05:51,752 Yeah, who's actually been living in L.A. one and the same. 151 00:05:51,822 --> 00:05:53,059 I'm about to go to brunch with her 152 00:05:53,083 --> 00:05:55,956 and make her fill in all the blanks. 153 00:05:56,026 --> 00:05:57,604 Well, don't be too quick to option her life rights 154 00:05:57,628 --> 00:05:59,359 before you make sure she's back on her meds. 155 00:05:59,430 --> 00:06:00,491 But in all seriousness, 156 00:06:00,561 --> 00:06:01,692 tell her I said hi. 157 00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:03,093 Bye. 158 00:06:05,095 --> 00:06:07,097 (Beep) 159 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,440 (Cell phone clatters) 160 00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:11,371 (Typing) 161 00:06:11,442 --> 00:06:13,143 (Beep) 162 00:06:17,047 --> 00:06:21,882 And for my final course, a hot peach clafouti, 163 00:06:21,952 --> 00:06:24,955 inspired by my hot girlfriend Ivy. 164 00:06:25,015 --> 00:06:26,056 Aw. 165 00:06:26,116 --> 00:06:27,758 Mmm. 166 00:06:27,818 --> 00:06:32,463 Oh, three michelin star, definitely. 167 00:06:32,523 --> 00:06:35,766 Which... of these scream 168 00:06:35,826 --> 00:06:38,699 "I am a New York City trust fund baby" more? 169 00:06:38,769 --> 00:06:42,873 Uh... (Exhales deeply) Those, I guess. 170 00:06:42,933 --> 00:06:44,675 You okay? 171 00:06:44,735 --> 00:06:47,007 You seem extra nervous about this audition? 172 00:06:47,077 --> 00:06:48,709 Yeah. 173 00:06:48,779 --> 00:06:51,181 Some days it's just not as much fun 174 00:06:51,442 --> 00:06:52,813 trying to be an actress. 175 00:06:52,883 --> 00:06:55,015 Well, at least we're failing together. 176 00:06:55,085 --> 00:06:56,146 Unlike Jason... 177 00:06:56,747 --> 00:06:59,720 He just got this huge chef gig at beast in Portland. 178 00:06:59,790 --> 00:07:01,598 Hey, it's cheap, too. Moving there could end my days 179 00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:03,262 of plating salad with dressing on the side 180 00:07:03,454 --> 00:07:08,759 and save you from using your mysterious emergency fund. 181 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:12,032 (Laughs) Max, I told you, this is my last resort. 182 00:07:12,102 --> 00:07:13,934 There's only enough to use it once. 183 00:07:14,004 --> 00:07:16,907 I know. It's just, I don't want to end up like everybody else 184 00:07:16,967 --> 00:07:19,039 who comes to L.A. with dreams only to find that L.A. 185 00:07:19,109 --> 00:07:21,171 Is the place where dreams come to die. 186 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:25,846 Or you get those weird lips that everybody here has. 187 00:07:25,916 --> 00:07:28,849 (Laughs) 188 00:07:28,919 --> 00:07:30,651 (Sighs) 189 00:07:30,721 --> 00:07:33,554 Let's not give up yet. 190 00:07:33,624 --> 00:07:36,627 I promise things will get better. 191 00:07:45,536 --> 00:07:47,056 I wish you could join me for the feast. 192 00:07:47,097 --> 00:07:50,140 The church celebrates with all of Monaco's favorite foods. 193 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:53,043 To honor virgin mother honest rise to heaven. 194 00:07:53,544 --> 00:07:55,976 Uh... why aren't you waiting to greet Princess Beatrice 195 00:07:56,046 --> 00:07:57,978 at the elevator? (Sighs) 196 00:07:58,048 --> 00:08:00,050 I know you two will love each other. 197 00:08:00,110 --> 00:08:01,512 Don't be so sure. 198 00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:03,684 My first impression on grimaldi women thus far 199 00:08:03,754 --> 00:08:05,916 has been abysmal at best. 200 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,518 Unlike grimaldi men who fall in love 201 00:08:07,588 --> 00:08:09,560 the moment they see you, but don't worry. 202 00:08:09,620 --> 00:08:12,563 My mother and Beatrice never agree on anything. 203 00:08:12,623 --> 00:08:15,125 They make the brothers of Brunei look civil. 204 00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:16,667 At least we don't have harems. 205 00:08:16,727 --> 00:08:17,928 Ah, la voila. 206 00:08:18,969 --> 00:08:21,602 Louis... (Speaks French) 207 00:08:21,672 --> 00:08:22,973 Me, too. 208 00:08:23,033 --> 00:08:24,935 Beatrice, this is Blair. 209 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:27,237 You are even more beautiful than the photographs 210 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:28,709 in the paper. 211 00:08:28,779 --> 00:08:29,810 Mm. 212 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:30,911 (Sniffs) 213 00:08:30,981 --> 00:08:32,583 The perfume... 214 00:08:32,683 --> 00:08:36,046 It's Jasmine and clove oil from Africa. Do you like it? 215 00:08:36,286 --> 00:08:37,888 It's powerful. 216 00:08:38,048 --> 00:08:40,520 Then I shall give you mine. I'll get more when I go back. 217 00:08:40,591 --> 00:08:42,292 I've always longed for a sister. 218 00:08:42,553 --> 00:08:43,724 Sit, sit. 219 00:08:43,794 --> 00:08:45,756 Tell me everything. 220 00:08:45,826 --> 00:08:47,674 (Serena) Okay, spill. What are you doing in L.A. 221 00:08:47,698 --> 00:08:50,100 And how did you get your mom to agree to let you come here? 222 00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:51,632 She didn't. 223 00:08:51,702 --> 00:08:54,234 I call her and I tell her that I'm okay, 224 00:08:54,304 --> 00:08:56,667 but not where I am. 225 00:08:56,737 --> 00:08:58,569 Trust me, it's better this way. 226 00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:01,812 Florida was making me crazier than New York ever did. 227 00:09:01,872 --> 00:09:04,544 And you're being responsible with your medication? 228 00:09:04,615 --> 00:09:07,047 I needed a break from my mom, not reality. 229 00:09:07,117 --> 00:09:09,850 Well, Florida's loss is my gain. 230 00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:14,084 Okay, I wanna know everything! Friends, boyfriends. 231 00:09:14,154 --> 00:09:17,227 Neither, honestly, which is why it's so sad 232 00:09:17,287 --> 00:09:19,229 that you have to go back to New York for school. 233 00:09:19,289 --> 00:09:22,793 Well, then I must be a genie, 'cause your wish is granted. 234 00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:24,064 I'm staying. 235 00:09:24,134 --> 00:09:26,296 (Purse thuds) 236 00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,038 Um... 237 00:09:28,098 --> 00:09:29,740 I thought that your movie ended. 238 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:33,243 Oh, it did, but the producer offered me a job, 239 00:09:33,303 --> 00:09:34,705 so I'm meeting with her later today 240 00:09:34,845 --> 00:09:36,807 to discuss the details. But don't worry. 241 00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:38,785 We'll have plenty of time to catch up before then. 242 00:09:38,809 --> 00:09:42,753 They say misery loves company, but sometimes 243 00:09:42,813 --> 00:09:45,155 it's the company that makes you miserable. 244 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:50,220 Mm! My. Look at the time. 245 00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:53,023 I'm so disappointed that I can't spend all day with you 246 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:54,925 before you rush off to your principality. 247 00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:57,197 You know, Blair, I feel just the same, 248 00:09:57,267 --> 00:09:59,229 which is why I moved our flight to this evening. 249 00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:02,132 We now have all afternoon to share our secrets 250 00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:05,135 like real sisters, and I want to know them all. 251 00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:09,139 Mm. I can't wait. 252 00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:11,211 Now if you'll excuse me. 253 00:10:11,281 --> 00:10:13,143 But nothing's worse 254 00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:15,045 than company that overstays their welcome. 255 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:20,090 Good luck, b. Have fun being the hostess with the mostess. 256 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,028 I get working for this producer's a huge opportunity, 257 00:10:28,098 --> 00:10:29,329 but what about Columbia? 258 00:10:29,399 --> 00:10:30,719 Well, I'm taking the semester off, 259 00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,362 and I'll see how things go after that. 260 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:34,765 My only issue is living with Cece. 261 00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:37,808 Last night, at 2:00 A.M., her bridge game turned brutal. 262 00:10:37,868 --> 00:10:40,741 A neighbor even came and complained. (Laughs) 263 00:10:40,811 --> 00:10:42,348 (Laughs) Well, I'm sure your real estate agent 264 00:10:42,372 --> 00:10:44,114 will find you a great place. 265 00:10:44,174 --> 00:10:45,876 Well, hopefully near you. 266 00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:49,720 In fact, why don't I have her just meet us at your place? 267 00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:52,122 It's a bad idea. My roommate barely lets me in most days. 268 00:10:52,182 --> 00:10:53,253 (Cell phone rings) 269 00:10:53,353 --> 00:10:55,385 And he's kind of Howard Hughes-ish. 270 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,257 Hey, I was just about to call you. 271 00:10:57,327 --> 00:10:59,960 I'm gonna need to see 2-bedroom apartments instead of one. 272 00:11:00,030 --> 00:11:00,961 (Mouths words) 273 00:11:01,031 --> 00:11:02,963 Okay, great. Thank you. 274 00:11:03,033 --> 00:11:04,134 No, my place is fine. 275 00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:07,137 No, it's not negotiable. This is L.A. 276 00:11:07,197 --> 00:11:08,799 Rhodes girls have to live together. 277 00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:11,141 It's tradition. 278 00:11:11,201 --> 00:11:13,243 (Laughs) Come on. Let's go. 279 00:11:24,114 --> 00:11:25,355 Hey, Chuck. 280 00:11:25,415 --> 00:11:27,357 Ignore him. He's not with me. 281 00:11:27,417 --> 00:11:29,760 Oh, hey, hey, do I need to call the cops? 282 00:11:29,820 --> 00:11:32,893 This isn't what we signed up for. We're outta here. 283 00:11:32,963 --> 00:11:34,925 Just... 284 00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:37,167 I expect a full refund. 285 00:11:37,227 --> 00:11:39,900 What are you doing? You okay? 286 00:11:39,970 --> 00:11:42,232 I was until you arrived. 287 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:45,836 Uh, you don't... you don't look all right there. 288 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:53,844 (The world record's "check the score" playing) 289 00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:58,048 (Beeping) 290 00:11:58,118 --> 00:11:59,890 No, no, I have the address. 291 00:11:59,950 --> 00:12:02,793 I just need her name, okay? 292 00:12:02,853 --> 00:12:05,826 Th-then why are you called "information," huh? 293 00:12:05,896 --> 00:12:07,197 (Sighs) 294 00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:11,361 I'm not Serena, Humphrey. I didn't need saving. 295 00:12:15,465 --> 00:12:16,406 (Coughs) 296 00:12:16,466 --> 00:12:17,768 Whoa. 297 00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:20,470 Hey. I thought you were still in the Hamptons. 298 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,140 I'd ask you how your summer's going, 299 00:12:22,172 --> 00:12:23,473 but seeing you with Chuck, 300 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,251 I guess the answer is probably "weird." 301 00:12:25,275 --> 00:12:28,348 Oh, it gets weirder. I found him paying 302 00:12:28,418 --> 00:12:30,881 some really rough dudes to... To fight him. 303 00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:32,829 He wasn't forthcoming with the details, but I... 304 00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:35,826 I would imagine it's some new bass-type scheme 305 00:12:35,886 --> 00:12:37,157 to get Blair's attention. 306 00:12:37,427 --> 00:12:39,289 Well, he said he was okay about her all summer. 307 00:12:39,359 --> 00:12:43,133 Or maybe it's finally hitting him now that we're back. 308 00:12:43,193 --> 00:12:44,771 I think something else might have hit him, too. 309 00:12:44,795 --> 00:12:46,412 He was already pretty bruised when I got there. 310 00:12:46,436 --> 00:12:48,468 I think he might need to see a doctor. 311 00:12:48,538 --> 00:12:51,802 Yeah? Well, my mom has this concierge doc she could send, 312 00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:53,219 but calling her means I'd have to decide 313 00:12:53,243 --> 00:12:54,845 which internship I want. 314 00:12:54,975 --> 00:12:56,853 Well, I could stick around and talk it through with you. 315 00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:58,879 I was also kinda hoping to get some help from Chuck 316 00:12:58,949 --> 00:13:01,281 on something anyway. 317 00:13:01,351 --> 00:13:02,512 Hey, I'm gonna call a doctor, 318 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:04,314 have him check out your bruises, okay? 319 00:13:04,384 --> 00:13:06,456 Excellent. 320 00:13:10,090 --> 00:13:11,361 Listen, I'll just, uh, call you 321 00:13:11,421 --> 00:13:13,063 when the doctor leaves. How about that? 322 00:13:13,123 --> 00:13:14,925 All right. 323 00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:16,466 (Sighs) 324 00:13:16,526 --> 00:13:19,129 Well, what do you say to a little shopping 325 00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:20,479 for all your pre-wedding events? 326 00:13:20,570 --> 00:13:23,904 Yes. I was thinking wu for my welcome parade... 327 00:13:23,974 --> 00:13:25,505 Short but regal. 328 00:13:25,575 --> 00:13:28,038 And alaia would put charlene and her swimmer's body 329 00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:29,910 to shame at Albert's ball. 330 00:13:29,980 --> 00:13:31,341 Hmm. Those will never do. 331 00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:35,485 Why? They only use children to sew the beading. 332 00:13:35,545 --> 00:13:39,249 You cannot have bare shoulders, exposed knees, 333 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,151 anything form-fitting. 334 00:13:41,221 --> 00:13:43,493 Too much skin borders on Bruni. 335 00:13:43,553 --> 00:13:46,496 I-i-i don't understand. How am I to become an icon of... 336 00:13:46,556 --> 00:13:50,360 Style and taste if I can only wear a burka? 337 00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:52,903 I'm sorry. The dress code is mandated. 338 00:13:52,963 --> 00:13:56,566 So you get balmain, and I get to be Barbara bush. 339 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:57,836 How is this possible? 340 00:13:58,008 --> 00:13:59,569 It's one of the many perks of being 341 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,042 the non-reigning sibling. 342 00:14:02,112 --> 00:14:03,449 I'm surprised to hear you say that. 343 00:14:03,473 --> 00:14:04,951 I read the interview you did for "the guardian" 344 00:14:04,975 --> 00:14:06,576 when Louis gave up his seat for me, 345 00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:10,250 and you seemed more than eager to step into that role. 346 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:12,252 I admit I've always wished for my mother 347 00:14:12,322 --> 00:14:14,925 to realize she had two capable children. 348 00:14:14,985 --> 00:14:17,157 But those few days 349 00:14:17,227 --> 00:14:18,604 with the world watching my every move 350 00:14:18,628 --> 00:14:19,930 were too much. 351 00:14:20,030 --> 00:14:22,562 You, however, are much better suited 352 00:14:22,632 --> 00:14:25,235 for the pressures of royal service than I. 353 00:14:25,295 --> 00:14:27,537 Shall we have a snack? 354 00:14:27,597 --> 00:14:32,542 Ohh. Actually, I need to find a restroom. 355 00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:42,082 I'm not sure there's enough closet space. 356 00:14:42,152 --> 00:14:43,954 You're kidding, right? 357 00:14:44,014 --> 00:14:46,286 I didn't think it was possible 358 00:14:46,356 --> 00:14:47,994 for anyone to need more closets than I do. 359 00:14:48,018 --> 00:14:51,291 I mean, you have a whole room for your shoes alone. 360 00:14:51,361 --> 00:14:55,525 Yeah. But, you know, the... The beach traffic 361 00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:56,997 can get really bad, 362 00:14:57,127 --> 00:14:58,628 and that might depress me even more 363 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:03,503 than my crazy roommate, so... Maybe I should... 364 00:15:03,573 --> 00:15:05,235 Just stay where I am. 365 00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:08,478 So you're gonna give this place up because of traffic? 366 00:15:08,538 --> 00:15:11,311 Where in L.A. is carmeggedon not an issue? 367 00:15:11,381 --> 00:15:12,642 I already have other interest. 368 00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:15,445 If you want it, you're gonna need to move quickly. 369 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,948 Oh, I can give you a down payment right now. 370 00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:19,189 (Unzips purse) 371 00:15:19,249 --> 00:15:22,392 Except I forgot my checkbook. 372 00:15:22,452 --> 00:15:24,624 But you have yours. I-I saw it when your purse fell. 373 00:15:24,694 --> 00:15:28,258 Yeah. But, you know, I don't think I have enough 374 00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:29,559 to cover two months' rent. 375 00:15:29,960 --> 00:15:31,962 Unless you bought the Maldives without telling me, 376 00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:33,333 you should have plenty. 377 00:15:33,403 --> 00:15:35,065 (Chuckles) 378 00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:36,606 Or is this your way of telling me 379 00:15:36,666 --> 00:15:38,938 that you don't wanna live with me? 380 00:15:39,009 --> 00:15:40,440 Of course not. 381 00:15:41,571 --> 00:15:44,274 All I have is an out-of-state check. 382 00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:47,017 No problem. Just put your local contact information 383 00:15:47,077 --> 00:15:48,318 in the memo. 384 00:15:48,378 --> 00:15:50,380 See? I told you this would work out. 385 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:53,223 (Giggles) 386 00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:00,430 You understand fractured ribs 387 00:16:00,490 --> 00:16:02,262 aren't something to mess around with. 388 00:16:02,332 --> 00:16:04,634 You could end up puncturing a lung. 389 00:16:04,694 --> 00:16:06,666 I told you, they don't hurt. 390 00:16:09,139 --> 00:16:10,540 I have a hard time believing 391 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,602 anyone has that high a threshold for pain. 392 00:16:12,672 --> 00:16:14,420 Yeah, well, he's probably just self-medicating. 393 00:16:14,444 --> 00:16:16,046 You should see his medicine cabinet. 394 00:16:16,206 --> 00:16:19,609 Some of that stuff's not even legal in Mexico. (Chuckles) 395 00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:22,452 No, I was just... I was just kidding. 396 00:16:22,512 --> 00:16:24,684 He claimed he couldn't feel my touching his ribs 397 00:16:24,754 --> 00:16:26,256 during the exam. 398 00:16:26,316 --> 00:16:27,717 If he's taking that many drugs, 399 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,295 someone needs to keep an eye on him 400 00:16:29,319 --> 00:16:31,161 to make sure he doesn't take any more 401 00:16:31,221 --> 00:16:33,363 or do anything other than rest. 402 00:16:33,423 --> 00:16:36,366 His injuries are bordering on dangerous. 403 00:16:36,426 --> 00:16:39,069 I'll take care of it. 404 00:16:39,129 --> 00:16:40,430 Thank you. 405 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:44,404 (Elevator bell dings, doors open) 406 00:16:44,474 --> 00:16:45,651 I wish we'd stopped at Saint honore. 407 00:16:45,675 --> 00:16:47,677 Doesn't shopping leave you famished? 408 00:16:47,737 --> 00:16:49,309 Well, perhaps buying one lipstick 409 00:16:49,379 --> 00:16:50,686 doesn't build up the same appetite. 410 00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:53,143 Lucky you can eat at your feast. 411 00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:56,015 I'm sorry. Too much coffee. 412 00:16:56,086 --> 00:16:57,747 Give the virgin my regards. 413 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,550 I'll show you to door. 414 00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:03,093 And by door, I mean elevator. 415 00:17:04,354 --> 00:17:06,196 Over there. 416 00:17:06,256 --> 00:17:07,657 I think it's fairly obvious. 417 00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:12,031 Our future Princess has developed a drug problem. 418 00:17:12,102 --> 00:17:14,264 What? No. 419 00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:16,306 Uh, miss Blair too much control freak 420 00:17:16,366 --> 00:17:21,241 to use mind alter substance, even to help mood swing. 421 00:17:21,311 --> 00:17:22,512 I admire your loyalty, 422 00:17:22,672 --> 00:17:25,245 but no one uses les toilettes so often 423 00:17:25,315 --> 00:17:27,147 unless they have something to hide. 424 00:17:27,217 --> 00:17:29,549 Louis deserves to know what it is. 425 00:17:29,619 --> 00:17:32,322 I swear, miss Blair just... 426 00:17:32,382 --> 00:17:34,154 Have sensitive stomach. 427 00:17:34,224 --> 00:17:37,287 Of course. 428 00:17:37,357 --> 00:17:39,759 I knew I recognized that faint acrid smell 429 00:17:39,829 --> 00:17:41,291 from boarding school. 430 00:17:41,361 --> 00:17:44,264 The pale skin. Not eating in public. 431 00:17:44,334 --> 00:17:46,836 Blair's obviously bulimic. 432 00:17:47,097 --> 00:17:49,269 (Sighs) Yes. 433 00:17:49,339 --> 00:17:50,339 No. I... 434 00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:52,071 I mean, not... not anymore. 435 00:17:52,142 --> 00:17:56,606 Only teenage habit of using restroom die hard. 436 00:17:56,676 --> 00:18:00,710 But miss Blair digest everything now. 437 00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:05,455 I go make... tuna melts for both of you. 438 00:18:08,658 --> 00:18:09,789 (Beep) 439 00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:15,825 Louis? We need to speak right away. 440 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,667 (Beep) 441 00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,339 Hey! 442 00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:31,881 What are you doing in New York, at my house? 443 00:18:32,142 --> 00:18:33,883 Leaving, by the look of it. 444 00:18:34,144 --> 00:18:35,361 Whoa, were you trying to find me? 445 00:18:35,385 --> 00:18:36,716 Oh, this is fantastic. 446 00:18:36,886 --> 00:18:39,249 I haven't been able to stop thinking about you either. 447 00:18:39,319 --> 00:18:40,866 Can't believe you actually tracked me down. 448 00:18:40,890 --> 00:18:43,623 Oh, that is borderline adorable, 449 00:18:43,693 --> 00:18:45,625 but I wasn't here to see you. 450 00:18:45,695 --> 00:18:48,598 As of recently, I own "the New York spectator," 451 00:18:48,658 --> 00:18:49,675 and I wanted to interview your mother 452 00:18:49,699 --> 00:18:50,900 for my inaugural article 453 00:18:51,361 --> 00:18:52,878 on the disgraced wives of dirty businessmen, 454 00:18:52,902 --> 00:18:55,865 but she not-so-politely declined. 455 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,483 Okay, wait, even if this is a coincidence, 456 00:18:57,507 --> 00:18:58,908 it's a pretty damn good one. 457 00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:01,187 All right? I was here just to discuss job offers with my mom, 458 00:19:01,211 --> 00:19:03,313 but I would much rather take you out. 459 00:19:03,373 --> 00:19:04,674 Oh, we had fun, Nate, 460 00:19:04,914 --> 00:19:08,918 but I need more than just stamina to keep me interested. 461 00:19:09,179 --> 00:19:10,180 Nice seeing ya. 462 00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:11,921 Whoa, whoa, wait. 463 00:19:12,182 --> 00:19:15,485 Will you at least tell me your name? 464 00:19:15,555 --> 00:19:16,732 What's so important it couldn't wait 465 00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:18,588 until our 7-hour flight tonight? 466 00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:20,860 Your fiancee is bulimic. 467 00:19:20,930 --> 00:19:21,930 Is that all? 468 00:19:22,192 --> 00:19:24,294 Bulimia is a serious disease. 469 00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:26,766 Blair told me all about her teenage struggles. 470 00:19:26,836 --> 00:19:28,398 It's in her past. 471 00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:30,940 Past hour. She's not well, Louis. 472 00:19:31,201 --> 00:19:33,482 Or she needs an escape from a shopping trip full of rules. 473 00:19:33,543 --> 00:19:34,944 She told me about that, too. 474 00:19:35,405 --> 00:19:37,853 I was just trying to prepare her for the pressures of your life. 475 00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:39,609 The stress will be the worst thing 476 00:19:39,679 --> 00:19:41,180 for her condition, 477 00:19:41,311 --> 00:19:43,883 all so you can claim a title we both know 478 00:19:43,953 --> 00:19:45,255 you don't even care about. 479 00:19:45,485 --> 00:19:47,186 You know I'll do whatever I have to 480 00:19:47,257 --> 00:19:48,858 to ensure Blair's well-being. 481 00:19:48,918 --> 00:19:51,561 But believe me, she's doing great. 482 00:19:51,621 --> 00:19:52,922 There's nothing to worry about. 483 00:19:53,323 --> 00:19:55,925 You never did understand la psychologie des femmes. 484 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,598 I guess I will just have to prove it to you. 485 00:19:58,668 --> 00:19:59,699 Go ahead. 486 00:19:59,769 --> 00:20:01,731 I will prove you wrong. 487 00:20:03,473 --> 00:20:04,934 (Door opens) 488 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:09,379 Hi. Yes. This is Charlie rhodes from earlier. 489 00:20:09,439 --> 00:20:11,711 Turns out that Serena and I have changed our minds 490 00:20:11,781 --> 00:20:13,419 about the apartment, so if it's okay with you, 491 00:20:13,443 --> 00:20:15,545 I'd like to come back and get my check. 492 00:20:15,615 --> 00:20:17,547 Miss rhodes, your check was invalid. 493 00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,349 The bank told me it was no good. 494 00:20:19,419 --> 00:20:20,419 I'm sorry? 495 00:20:20,650 --> 00:20:21,927 I gave it back to miss Van Der Woodsen 496 00:20:21,951 --> 00:20:23,653 when she brought me a new one. 497 00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:26,225 Maybe you should speak to her about this. 498 00:20:26,296 --> 00:20:28,528 (Sighs) 499 00:20:29,799 --> 00:20:32,902 Saltines only thing I eat for months with Ana. 500 00:20:32,962 --> 00:20:35,505 Well, that was not the same. 501 00:20:35,565 --> 00:20:37,443 Your people are bred to work through these conditions 502 00:20:37,467 --> 00:20:38,868 and give birth in a field. 503 00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:41,711 No fields in krakow. 504 00:20:41,771 --> 00:20:44,714 And I have birthing suite at lenox hill. 505 00:20:44,774 --> 00:20:46,846 (Scoffs) Well, I am too exhausted 506 00:20:46,916 --> 00:20:49,779 to even reprimand your insubordination. 507 00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:52,722 At least she and prince Louis gone. 508 00:20:52,782 --> 00:20:54,854 You have time to figure out... 509 00:20:54,924 --> 00:20:58,588 Don't even let the word leave your lips. 510 00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:00,590 You never know who could be lurking. 511 00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:02,392 (Louis) Blair? 512 00:21:03,433 --> 00:21:04,634 Louis. 513 00:21:04,694 --> 00:21:06,035 Darling. 514 00:21:07,597 --> 00:21:08,968 Ah, I was just about to take a nap 515 00:21:09,038 --> 00:21:12,001 because I was so exhausted from that shopping trip. 516 00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:14,744 So romantic of you to come and say a final good-bye. 517 00:21:14,804 --> 00:21:17,877 Beatrice didn't want you to miss your first Monegasque holiday. 518 00:21:17,947 --> 00:21:19,879 And that is so kind. 519 00:21:19,949 --> 00:21:21,711 I'm sure the virgin will understand 520 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,413 that I'm too busy to be away. 521 00:21:23,513 --> 00:21:26,055 Which is why I had our priest arrange to celebrate here 522 00:21:26,316 --> 00:21:27,317 in New York. 523 00:21:27,717 --> 00:21:29,689 He's already spoken to the local church. 524 00:21:29,759 --> 00:21:30,990 I hope you're hungry. 525 00:21:31,391 --> 00:21:33,423 It's called the feast for a very good reason. 526 00:21:33,493 --> 00:21:36,295 Let's hope b's first feast of assumption 527 00:21:36,366 --> 00:21:38,398 doesn't end in damnation. 528 00:21:38,468 --> 00:21:39,969 (Elevator bell dings) 529 00:21:41,931 --> 00:21:43,773 Back again? What don't you get? 530 00:21:43,833 --> 00:21:46,075 Unlike Serena, when I rejected you, I meant it. 531 00:21:46,336 --> 00:21:48,013 Nate asked me to keep an eye on you while he was out. 532 00:21:48,037 --> 00:21:49,639 And while I'm here, I was wondering 533 00:21:49,709 --> 00:21:51,341 if you could help me with something. 534 00:21:51,411 --> 00:21:52,442 The answer is no. 535 00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:54,019 And what did you do when the doctor said 536 00:21:54,043 --> 00:21:55,515 you're not supposed to go out? 537 00:21:55,645 --> 00:21:56,692 Well, if you're willing to fight me over it, 538 00:21:56,716 --> 00:21:57,947 we could strike a deal. 539 00:21:58,348 --> 00:21:59,565 Well, that kinda defeats the purpose of making sure 540 00:21:59,589 --> 00:22:00,790 you don't get hurt. 541 00:22:00,950 --> 00:22:02,922 There isn't a chance in hell you could hurt me. 542 00:22:02,992 --> 00:22:05,324 Chuck, I know you saw the blast 543 00:22:05,395 --> 00:22:07,657 about Blair and Louis going to the event tonight. 544 00:22:07,727 --> 00:22:10,059 It's not worth puncturing a lung to get her attention. 545 00:22:10,329 --> 00:22:12,331 Blair's attention is the last thing on my mind. 546 00:22:12,402 --> 00:22:14,864 Come on, man. You do something dangerous. 547 00:22:14,934 --> 00:22:17,537 "Gossip girl" reports it. Blair comes to your rescue. 548 00:22:17,607 --> 00:22:18,847 Some might call that a pattern. 549 00:22:18,968 --> 00:22:21,411 Humphrey, you know nothing about our situation. 550 00:22:21,471 --> 00:22:23,473 Well, I do know that Blair is over you. 551 00:22:23,543 --> 00:22:25,983 You weren't even the last one to kiss her before Louis. I was. 552 00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:28,448 While her lips may have brushed yours, 553 00:22:28,518 --> 00:22:31,050 the last person she was with before she left was me. 554 00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:35,385 I'm referring to full carnal knowledge. 555 00:22:35,455 --> 00:22:36,926 A kiss is just a kiss. 556 00:22:36,986 --> 00:22:39,358 That hurt? Wish I could feel it. 557 00:22:39,429 --> 00:22:40,430 (Presses button) 558 00:22:40,490 --> 00:22:42,131 Poor lonely boy, 559 00:22:42,392 --> 00:22:45,094 even on the outer boroughs of love. 560 00:22:49,769 --> 00:22:51,541 (Woman) ♫ oh, oh ♫ 561 00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:55,775 ♫ oh, oh ♫ 562 00:22:56,646 --> 00:22:57,847 Excuse me, ma'am, 563 00:22:58,077 --> 00:23:00,780 I think you were fired from this establishment. 564 00:23:00,850 --> 00:23:03,112 I want to go to Portland. 565 00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:05,585 If this is about your audition, 566 00:23:05,655 --> 00:23:08,788 you can't let one bad experience make you give up on your dreams. 567 00:23:08,858 --> 00:23:12,422 My dreams will never come true if we stay here, 568 00:23:12,492 --> 00:23:13,993 but yours could if we leave. 569 00:23:14,063 --> 00:23:16,826 I thought about it, and you were right. 570 00:23:16,896 --> 00:23:19,599 Let's go before we're forced to leave. 571 00:23:19,669 --> 00:23:22,432 Okay, if you're sure. 572 00:23:22,502 --> 00:23:24,604 I'll tell the manager when she gets back from break. 573 00:23:24,674 --> 00:23:27,006 (Sighs) Hey, this is gonna be good. 574 00:23:27,076 --> 00:23:30,139 I can feel it. We'll be like Bonnie and Clyde. 575 00:23:30,409 --> 00:23:33,483 Without the killing and robbing and car chases. 576 00:23:33,543 --> 00:23:35,515 I'm gonna go home and pack. 577 00:23:35,585 --> 00:23:36,746 Okay. 578 00:23:36,846 --> 00:23:41,451 ♫ ...To believe a word she said ♫ 579 00:23:41,521 --> 00:23:45,795 ♫♫♫ 580 00:23:48,197 --> 00:23:49,829 ♫ oh, oh ♫ 581 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:52,462 ♫ oh, oh ♫ 582 00:23:52,832 --> 00:23:53,839 (Beatrice) I must have gained 10 pounds last year. 583 00:23:53,863 --> 00:23:55,204 It's so delicious. 584 00:23:55,465 --> 00:23:56,606 Louis. 585 00:23:56,666 --> 00:23:57,667 Mon pere. 586 00:23:57,737 --> 00:23:59,068 (Speaks French) 587 00:23:59,438 --> 00:24:01,711 I am sorry we missed you at cap d'antibes this summer. 588 00:24:01,771 --> 00:24:04,644 Well, your missionary work is more important. 589 00:24:04,714 --> 00:24:08,618 Blair, this is father cavalia, the man who will marry us. 590 00:24:08,678 --> 00:24:09,678 Bonjour. 591 00:24:09,819 --> 00:24:11,821 How wonderful. Well, I'm so sorry 592 00:24:11,881 --> 00:24:14,123 you can't be in your own church on this devout day. 593 00:24:14,183 --> 00:24:17,787 Perhaps if you got on the plane right now, you could make it? 594 00:24:17,857 --> 00:24:19,188 (Chuckles) Don't be silly. 595 00:24:19,529 --> 00:24:22,191 This way, I have a chance to get to know you 596 00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:24,193 away from all my duties. 597 00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:27,066 Did you enjoy a religious upbringing, miss Waldorf? 598 00:24:27,136 --> 00:24:29,138 My family's of mixed faith, 599 00:24:29,198 --> 00:24:31,941 but I've always appreciated a confessional. 600 00:24:32,001 --> 00:24:33,579 In fact, I'm gonna go find one right now. 601 00:24:33,603 --> 00:24:35,523 As you know, the confessionnelle is not available 602 00:24:35,575 --> 00:24:36,676 during a celebration. 603 00:24:36,746 --> 00:24:37,947 Ah. Genial. 604 00:24:38,007 --> 00:24:41,150 Have you ever tried a barbagiuan? 605 00:24:41,210 --> 00:24:43,152 Mmm, my favorite. 606 00:24:43,212 --> 00:24:48,057 It's filled with pumpkin and spices 607 00:24:48,117 --> 00:24:49,488 and butter. 608 00:24:54,624 --> 00:24:57,967 (Crunches) Mmm, mmm. 609 00:24:58,027 --> 00:24:59,729 (Mouth full) It's delicious. 610 00:24:59,799 --> 00:25:02,501 (Speaks French) 611 00:25:02,572 --> 00:25:04,203 (Speaks French) 612 00:25:04,273 --> 00:25:07,006 I can't help it. I love those. 613 00:25:07,076 --> 00:25:08,808 Mmm. 614 00:25:10,039 --> 00:25:11,039 (Clatter) 615 00:25:11,110 --> 00:25:12,942 Je vous salue, Marie. 616 00:25:13,012 --> 00:25:15,645 Surely the virgin mother can show mercy 617 00:25:15,715 --> 00:25:16,762 to those on earth still suffering 618 00:25:16,786 --> 00:25:18,788 while she rises to heaven. 619 00:25:24,724 --> 00:25:26,155 I-If you'll excuse me, 620 00:25:26,225 --> 00:25:28,558 I see a lost soul in need of guidance. 621 00:25:28,628 --> 00:25:30,860 (Under breath) Thank you. I will never question 622 00:25:30,930 --> 00:25:32,531 the paternity of your child again. 623 00:25:32,732 --> 00:25:36,105 I told you. She can't even keep down one bite of barbagiuan. 624 00:25:36,165 --> 00:25:38,267 You're starting to sound like mother. 625 00:25:38,537 --> 00:25:40,646 But unlike her, who doesn't care about anyone but herself, 626 00:25:40,670 --> 00:25:43,743 I'm trying to save your fiancee. Why aren't you? 627 00:25:43,813 --> 00:25:46,121 Blair, hey, listen, I know you don't wanna see me right now, 628 00:25:46,145 --> 00:25:48,578 probably not ever, but I'm not here to cause problems. 629 00:25:48,648 --> 00:25:52,121 I can't say the same about Chuck. Have you seen him? 630 00:25:52,181 --> 00:25:54,083 Walk with me. 631 00:25:59,188 --> 00:26:03,192 Well, thanks for coming back, Diana Payne. 632 00:26:03,262 --> 00:26:05,010 Ah, you found the card I left for your mother. 633 00:26:05,034 --> 00:26:06,565 Please tell me it was her who texted me 634 00:26:06,636 --> 00:26:07,673 to come back here and not you. 635 00:26:07,697 --> 00:26:08,838 Oh, she's right inside. 636 00:26:08,898 --> 00:26:10,169 So why are we out here? 637 00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:12,277 Her text said she'd relented and agreed to talk to me 638 00:26:12,301 --> 00:26:13,381 for my "spectator" article. 639 00:26:13,903 --> 00:26:15,645 She did. There are just a few final details 640 00:26:15,705 --> 00:26:17,276 that need to be worked out first. 641 00:26:17,647 --> 00:26:18,908 I know. She has a concern 642 00:26:19,048 --> 00:26:20,926 that I'm turning the "spectator" into a tabloid, 643 00:26:20,950 --> 00:26:22,912 but I'm very happy to give her story approval. 644 00:26:22,982 --> 00:26:24,283 Wait, wait, wait. What about me? 645 00:26:24,614 --> 00:26:26,716 I mean, I am the one who convinced her, after all. 646 00:26:26,786 --> 00:26:28,117 I mean, don't you think 647 00:26:28,287 --> 00:26:30,195 there should be some sort of, you know, finder's fee? 648 00:26:30,219 --> 00:26:32,291 (Chuckles) Are you trying to trade 649 00:26:32,361 --> 00:26:35,094 my interview with your mother for sex? 650 00:26:35,164 --> 00:26:39,168 Well, I would've called it a date, but yeah, basically. 651 00:26:39,228 --> 00:26:41,200 How do I know your mother's really inside? 652 00:26:41,270 --> 00:26:42,932 Well, you can watch me open the door 653 00:26:43,002 --> 00:26:44,974 and tell her that we'll be back in an hour. 654 00:26:45,034 --> 00:26:47,306 What makes you think we need that long? 655 00:26:47,376 --> 00:26:49,308 Stamina. 656 00:26:49,378 --> 00:26:51,498 (Peanut butter lovesicle's "black eyed blues" playing) 657 00:26:51,641 --> 00:26:53,683 ♫ if I go ♫ 658 00:26:53,743 --> 00:26:56,886 ♫ woman, I can leave for days ♫ 659 00:26:56,946 --> 00:26:59,649 ♫ it's just time ♫ 660 00:26:59,719 --> 00:27:00,950 ♫ it's just time ♫ 661 00:27:01,020 --> 00:27:04,353 ♫ and there's so many ways ♫ 662 00:27:15,735 --> 00:27:16,735 Serena. 663 00:27:16,766 --> 00:27:18,367 What are you doing here? 664 00:27:18,637 --> 00:27:21,671 I got your address off the check that the realtor gave me. 665 00:27:21,741 --> 00:27:22,872 I'm sorry. I... 666 00:27:23,212 --> 00:27:26,145 Was a flake and forgot to look at my balance. 667 00:27:26,215 --> 00:27:30,780 Okay, but you can just stop. I know what really happened. 668 00:27:30,850 --> 00:27:32,081 ♫ Please don't hide the show ♫ 669 00:27:32,151 --> 00:27:35,955 Out. The Princess needs privacy. 670 00:27:36,025 --> 00:27:38,828 My security detail will escort any of you 671 00:27:38,888 --> 00:27:41,691 who are not willing to go out on your own. 672 00:27:43,763 --> 00:27:45,134 (Sighs) 673 00:27:45,194 --> 00:27:46,736 (Clears throat) Security detail? 674 00:27:46,896 --> 00:27:50,099 What's going on? Blair, I thought you were mad at me. 675 00:27:50,169 --> 00:27:51,701 And you have my forgiveness 676 00:27:51,771 --> 00:27:53,091 if you shut up and guard the door. 677 00:27:53,142 --> 00:27:54,804 It's not like you to forgive me 678 00:27:54,874 --> 00:27:56,245 or run away from a feast. 679 00:27:56,706 --> 00:27:58,123 Might this have something to do with you sleeping with Chuck? 680 00:27:58,147 --> 00:28:02,181 How in the world did you know that? Forget it. 681 00:28:02,251 --> 00:28:03,983 I don't even have time to care. 682 00:28:04,053 --> 00:28:05,691 What don't you understand about "guard the door"? 683 00:28:05,715 --> 00:28:07,432 I can't believe that I thought you changed last year, 684 00:28:07,456 --> 00:28:09,194 and since you didn't, Chuck is now going off the deep end 685 00:28:09,218 --> 00:28:11,120 trying to get your attention again. 686 00:28:11,190 --> 00:28:12,367 No, now that's where you're wrong. 687 00:28:12,391 --> 00:28:15,124 Whatever he's doing isn't about me. 688 00:28:15,194 --> 00:28:17,426 He was the one who told me to marry Louis, 689 00:28:17,696 --> 00:28:19,128 and he meant it. 690 00:28:19,198 --> 00:28:21,300 Now you're gonna be sorry you didn't guard. 691 00:28:21,370 --> 00:28:24,373 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you... are you gonna go with me in here? 692 00:28:24,433 --> 00:28:26,275 I'm not sure our friendship can handle that. 693 00:28:26,335 --> 00:28:27,837 "Friendship" is a tenuous term. 694 00:28:27,907 --> 00:28:29,454 Now be a gentleman and... run the water. 695 00:28:29,478 --> 00:28:32,481 (Coughing) 696 00:28:35,745 --> 00:28:37,947 Uh, I'm sorry. You're, uh, you're gonna have to leave. 697 00:28:38,017 --> 00:28:40,089 The Princess is getting sick. 698 00:28:40,349 --> 00:28:44,824 Of course she is. I'll bring her fiance right away. 699 00:28:44,894 --> 00:28:47,897 (Toilet flushes, door closes) 700 00:28:51,030 --> 00:28:52,962 I forgive you. Are you happy? 701 00:28:53,032 --> 00:28:54,834 No. I'm worried. 702 00:28:54,904 --> 00:28:55,965 Are you bulimic again? 703 00:28:56,035 --> 00:28:57,306 No! 704 00:28:57,506 --> 00:29:01,170 I was just sick of listening to your inane questions. 705 00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:02,912 Now I need to say a prayer for tolerance 706 00:29:02,972 --> 00:29:04,243 and get out there. 707 00:29:04,473 --> 00:29:06,251 Eating disorders can return when people are stressed. 708 00:29:06,275 --> 00:29:08,447 Clearly, Chuck is not the only one freaking out here. 709 00:29:08,517 --> 00:29:10,119 The only thing freaking me out 710 00:29:10,179 --> 00:29:11,296 is that Louis' sister might notice I'm gone 711 00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:12,481 and get suspicious. 712 00:29:12,882 --> 00:29:14,059 Why would you worry about her being suspicious 713 00:29:14,083 --> 00:29:15,454 if you weren't bulimic? 714 00:29:15,785 --> 00:29:17,903 Blair, this isn't a joke. We are not leaving this room 715 00:29:17,927 --> 00:29:19,258 until you agree to get help. 716 00:29:19,328 --> 00:29:22,131 I don't need help. (Scoffs) 717 00:29:22,191 --> 00:29:25,394 I'm not bulimic. I'm pregnant. 718 00:29:25,464 --> 00:29:29,168 While one mother's life leads her to heaven, 719 00:29:29,238 --> 00:29:31,540 another's is going straight to hell 720 00:29:31,801 --> 00:29:34,904 in a Moses basket. 721 00:29:38,808 --> 00:29:41,110 (Indistinct conversations) 722 00:29:41,180 --> 00:29:43,252 Beatrice? 723 00:29:43,312 --> 00:29:45,554 You have to understand. 724 00:29:45,815 --> 00:29:46,815 It's still so early. 725 00:29:46,986 --> 00:29:48,557 I didn't wanna get Louis' hopes up 726 00:29:48,818 --> 00:29:51,260 if things weren't okay. I was gonna tell him. 727 00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:53,262 What were you going to tell me? 728 00:29:59,068 --> 00:30:00,930 About her wonderful idea, Louis. 729 00:30:03,833 --> 00:30:04,573 I have so many. 730 00:30:04,834 --> 00:30:05,574 Mm. 731 00:30:05,835 --> 00:30:06,835 You know, the one 732 00:30:07,136 --> 00:30:08,513 about inviting the homeless into our meal. 733 00:30:08,537 --> 00:30:10,309 To dine with us? 734 00:30:10,379 --> 00:30:11,540 You're too modest. 735 00:30:11,941 --> 00:30:14,183 I was telling Blair about our missionary work, 736 00:30:14,243 --> 00:30:15,885 and she suggested we share our meal 737 00:30:15,945 --> 00:30:19,488 with those less fortunate. I think it's wonderful. 738 00:30:19,548 --> 00:30:22,321 Of course. 739 00:30:22,391 --> 00:30:25,895 Yes, not to have them eat with us 740 00:30:25,955 --> 00:30:28,597 but to serve them the food, 741 00:30:28,858 --> 00:30:33,062 like in a soup kitchen, with gloves on. 742 00:30:33,132 --> 00:30:34,363 It's a wonderful idea. 743 00:30:34,433 --> 00:30:36,235 (Cell phone alert chimes) 744 00:30:36,305 --> 00:30:39,138 Spotted... Chuck on the wrong side of town. 745 00:30:39,208 --> 00:30:42,872 Looks like bassman doesn't have enough of a dark side. 746 00:30:42,942 --> 00:30:44,914 He has to take a walk on one, too. 747 00:30:44,974 --> 00:30:46,876 Um... I should go. 748 00:30:48,077 --> 00:30:50,349 (Lowered voice) You promise you won't say anything? 749 00:30:50,419 --> 00:30:53,322 (Lowered voice) Yes, but you can't hide this forever. 750 00:30:59,558 --> 00:31:00,859 (Chuckles) 751 00:31:01,030 --> 00:31:02,962 I think you were right about her, Louis. 752 00:31:03,032 --> 00:31:05,094 She'll make a perfect Princess. 753 00:31:05,164 --> 00:31:10,039 And... you the perfect sister-in-law. 754 00:31:10,099 --> 00:31:11,470 (Siren wailing in distance) 755 00:31:11,540 --> 00:31:13,642 You know, I swear, I just took that checkbook 756 00:31:13,903 --> 00:31:15,044 in case of an emergency. 757 00:31:15,104 --> 00:31:16,906 I didn't wanna use it. 758 00:31:16,976 --> 00:31:19,048 Well, why not? It belongs to you. 759 00:31:19,108 --> 00:31:21,150 It does? 760 00:31:21,210 --> 00:31:23,458 Yeah, your mom can't cut you off just because you leave Florida. 761 00:31:23,482 --> 00:31:25,554 That's not fair. I was actually gonna call her, 762 00:31:25,614 --> 00:31:27,957 but I was waiting till you got back. 763 00:31:28,017 --> 00:31:30,589 I don't wanna involve her. 764 00:31:30,659 --> 00:31:32,992 I'm the one who told her I wanted to make it on my own. 765 00:31:33,062 --> 00:31:34,342 Besides, if she knows where I am, 766 00:31:34,593 --> 00:31:36,895 then she's just gonna try to make me come back. 767 00:31:36,966 --> 00:31:38,267 That's true. 768 00:31:38,327 --> 00:31:41,170 But you can't live... here. 769 00:31:41,230 --> 00:31:44,433 You have to come live with me. 770 00:31:44,503 --> 00:31:48,537 I'd love to, but I can't afford it. 771 00:31:48,607 --> 00:31:51,140 You can once grandma calls the bank and makes it impossible 772 00:31:51,210 --> 00:31:53,282 for your mom to cut you off again. 773 00:31:53,342 --> 00:31:56,245 I don't think that that's such a good idea. 774 00:31:56,315 --> 00:31:58,547 I don't wanna make her any more mad. 775 00:31:58,617 --> 00:32:02,191 Well, she'll never find out. Look, I explained to Cece 776 00:32:02,251 --> 00:32:04,423 how bad being around your mom is for you, 777 00:32:04,493 --> 00:32:06,331 and she doesn't wanna deal with Carol's wrath either, 778 00:32:06,355 --> 00:32:08,357 so she won't tell. 779 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:12,031 I don't know what to say. 780 00:32:12,461 --> 00:32:15,234 I can't believe that you would do this for me. 781 00:32:15,304 --> 00:32:18,007 You can show your gratitude by packing. 782 00:32:18,067 --> 00:32:19,538 I have to go meet my boss, 783 00:32:19,608 --> 00:32:21,510 but I'll come pick you up after. 784 00:32:21,570 --> 00:32:24,513 We rhodes girls need to stick together. 785 00:32:27,516 --> 00:32:29,648 (Door opens) 786 00:32:32,581 --> 00:32:33,652 Get him up! 787 00:32:37,726 --> 00:32:40,489 Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Again? 788 00:32:40,559 --> 00:32:43,462 Guys, come on. You can't... 789 00:32:43,532 --> 00:32:46,565 Hey! I'm not part of his payment plan. 790 00:32:46,635 --> 00:32:47,636 Sorry. Mr. Bass said 791 00:32:48,297 --> 00:32:50,439 nothing should stop us except his safe word. 792 00:32:50,499 --> 00:32:52,071 This is serious. He could die. 793 00:32:52,241 --> 00:32:55,144 "Though this be madness, yet there is some method in't." 794 00:32:55,204 --> 00:32:56,305 (Clatter) 795 00:32:56,405 --> 00:32:58,407 Guess that wasn't the safe word. 796 00:32:58,477 --> 00:33:01,080 Chuck. Chuck, tell 'em to stop. 797 00:33:01,150 --> 00:33:04,453 Okay. Fine. Stop. 798 00:33:04,513 --> 00:33:07,216 Let's go. 799 00:33:08,257 --> 00:33:09,297 "Stop"? Really? That's it? 800 00:33:09,388 --> 00:33:10,989 I wasn't trying to kill myself. 801 00:33:11,060 --> 00:33:13,222 Then what the hell were you doing? 802 00:33:13,292 --> 00:33:15,664 (Grunts) 803 00:33:15,724 --> 00:33:16,495 (Coughs) 804 00:33:16,725 --> 00:33:18,297 I was hoping it would hurt. 805 00:33:18,367 --> 00:33:21,430 What, to... to dull the pain of losing Blair? 806 00:33:21,500 --> 00:33:23,572 That's what you don't understand. 807 00:33:23,632 --> 00:33:26,575 I feel nothing when I see her and Louis 808 00:33:26,635 --> 00:33:29,178 or when I jump off a building 809 00:33:29,238 --> 00:33:31,180 or when I crash a motorcycle. 810 00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:35,214 Even you don't irritate me. 811 00:33:35,284 --> 00:33:36,785 Well, having these guys beat you up 812 00:33:37,046 --> 00:33:39,218 is not the way to try to feel something. 813 00:33:39,288 --> 00:33:40,549 You... you could have died. 814 00:33:40,719 --> 00:33:46,195 Is being dead that much worse than being nothing? 815 00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:53,007 I still don't know how you got your mother to agree 816 00:33:53,031 --> 00:33:54,511 after she slammed the door in my face. 817 00:33:54,563 --> 00:33:55,764 I just told her 818 00:33:56,165 --> 00:33:57,542 it was her chance to tell her side of the story 819 00:33:57,566 --> 00:33:58,807 and move on with her life. 820 00:33:59,238 --> 00:34:00,715 And that it made her seem classier than Ruth madoff. 821 00:34:00,739 --> 00:34:04,113 Clever. That's all it took? 822 00:34:04,173 --> 00:34:06,275 Well, I had to let her decide on my internship... 823 00:34:06,345 --> 00:34:08,117 Goldman or schumer. 824 00:34:08,177 --> 00:34:09,578 Why do either? 825 00:34:09,748 --> 00:34:11,356 Well, like I said in l.A, I need to figure out my future, 826 00:34:11,380 --> 00:34:13,382 and, you know, both are great options 827 00:34:13,452 --> 00:34:15,324 other people would kill for. 828 00:34:15,384 --> 00:34:17,356 How about working for me instead? 829 00:34:17,426 --> 00:34:20,389 I'm not a journalist. 830 00:34:20,459 --> 00:34:21,666 I'm not looking for you to be one. 831 00:34:21,690 --> 00:34:23,130 The newspaper is just the cornerstone 832 00:34:23,262 --> 00:34:25,264 of what I hope is gonna be a new media empire. 833 00:34:25,334 --> 00:34:26,795 Someone with your persuasive skills 834 00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:28,797 could be great at sales or marketing. 835 00:34:29,067 --> 00:34:31,140 Once you know how to control information, 836 00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:35,144 you can do anything with it... Politics, banking, whatever. 837 00:34:35,204 --> 00:34:36,805 While that sounds great, 838 00:34:37,075 --> 00:34:38,723 I would have to get my family to approve me 839 00:34:38,747 --> 00:34:40,279 pulling out of this other thing. 840 00:34:40,479 --> 00:34:43,712 Well, just remind them what "George" did for j.F.K. Jr. 841 00:34:44,753 --> 00:34:47,085 See you at the office next week. 842 00:34:47,656 --> 00:34:49,418 Watch out, Nate. 843 00:34:49,618 --> 00:34:54,823 Looks like sex play may not be the only game you're a pawn in. 844 00:34:59,728 --> 00:35:02,871 So it looks like something called a conversion disorder. 845 00:35:03,132 --> 00:35:06,104 People become blind, paralyzed, or unable to feel 846 00:35:06,175 --> 00:35:08,577 after experiencing a psychological trauma, 847 00:35:08,637 --> 00:35:10,839 I.e. Blair leaving you forever. 848 00:35:11,109 --> 00:35:12,841 It's a little like p.T.S.D. 849 00:35:13,111 --> 00:35:14,513 If you say so. 850 00:35:14,583 --> 00:35:16,114 You should see someone. 851 00:35:16,345 --> 00:35:19,548 Treatment involves trying to make the patient feel again. 852 00:35:19,618 --> 00:35:21,378 That's what I was doing before you showed up. 853 00:35:21,420 --> 00:35:26,325 Well, how about instead of pain, you try to feel good things? 854 00:35:26,395 --> 00:35:28,657 I could tickle you. 855 00:35:28,727 --> 00:35:31,330 (Chuckles) I'd rather hire someone else to do that, 856 00:35:31,400 --> 00:35:33,602 thank you, but it wouldn't work either. 857 00:35:33,662 --> 00:35:37,236 Why don't we discuss why you needed my help before instead? 858 00:35:37,306 --> 00:35:39,408 Um... I wrote a novel. 859 00:35:39,468 --> 00:35:41,186 It was something I was working on for a while. 860 00:35:41,210 --> 00:35:43,218 No one was supposed to see it, but then Vanessa found it 861 00:35:43,242 --> 00:35:45,914 and sent it to a publisher, so I need to find out which one 862 00:35:46,175 --> 00:35:48,547 so I can, uh, I can stop it from coming out. 863 00:35:48,617 --> 00:35:49,977 Forgive me for stating the obvious, 864 00:35:50,249 --> 00:35:52,381 but isn't being published a writer's goal? 865 00:35:52,451 --> 00:35:55,424 Not for this book. It's... It's a scathing social satire 866 00:35:55,484 --> 00:35:57,386 about everyone I know, including you. 867 00:35:57,456 --> 00:35:59,228 Return of Charlie trout. 868 00:35:59,288 --> 00:36:01,490 Hmm. I need to get into Vanessa's bank account 869 00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:03,362 so I can see who's making the deposits 870 00:36:03,432 --> 00:36:04,863 before anyone sees what I wrote. 871 00:36:04,933 --> 00:36:07,266 Well, just because I can't feel anything 872 00:36:07,336 --> 00:36:11,169 shouldn't mean everyone else has to endure a humiliation. 873 00:36:12,271 --> 00:36:14,903 (Sighs) I'll help you. 874 00:36:19,808 --> 00:36:20,808 Hi. 875 00:36:20,849 --> 00:36:22,180 (Door closes) 876 00:36:22,551 --> 00:36:24,883 So Jason said we could crash with him and his roommates 877 00:36:24,953 --> 00:36:27,185 until we find our own place. 878 00:36:28,717 --> 00:36:29,558 Max... 879 00:36:29,618 --> 00:36:32,361 What's going on? 880 00:36:32,421 --> 00:36:35,193 I don't think I can go. 881 00:36:35,264 --> 00:36:36,841 What are you talking about? It'll be great. 882 00:36:36,865 --> 00:36:39,928 I even got us onion-flavored snacks for the road. 883 00:36:40,198 --> 00:36:42,771 And these things. 884 00:36:42,831 --> 00:36:46,535 What changed? 885 00:36:46,605 --> 00:36:48,907 Remember what you said. 886 00:36:48,977 --> 00:36:50,779 This isn't giving up on our dreams. 887 00:36:50,839 --> 00:36:54,212 It's just making them happen in a different place. 888 00:36:54,283 --> 00:36:56,485 (Cell phone alert chimes) 889 00:37:06,355 --> 00:37:07,926 I'm sorry. 890 00:37:07,996 --> 00:37:09,998 I just realized that 891 00:37:10,259 --> 00:37:14,933 what's making me unhappy in L.A. isn't L.A. 892 00:37:16,435 --> 00:37:17,566 It's you. 893 00:37:17,666 --> 00:37:20,939 Where is this coming from? I love you. 894 00:37:21,009 --> 00:37:22,941 I'm sorry. I wish I could explain better, 895 00:37:23,011 --> 00:37:24,413 but I can't. 896 00:37:24,473 --> 00:37:26,715 Just... be happy 897 00:37:26,775 --> 00:37:32,581 and... know that I never meant to hurt you. 898 00:37:32,651 --> 00:37:35,724 How well do any of us really know each other? 899 00:37:35,784 --> 00:37:38,627 Even families have their secrets. 900 00:37:38,687 --> 00:37:41,360 We were so close. I could even see my mother's face 901 00:37:41,430 --> 00:37:45,564 as Louis gave away his title because his fiancee was bulimic. 902 00:37:45,634 --> 00:37:48,637 She would have never forgiven him. 903 00:37:48,697 --> 00:37:50,499 It would have been perfect. 904 00:37:50,569 --> 00:37:52,741 Why not just tell her Blair's pregnant? 905 00:37:52,801 --> 00:37:55,744 Please. Nothing would make her happier 906 00:37:55,804 --> 00:37:57,976 than a grandchild by golden boy. 907 00:37:58,046 --> 00:38:01,279 I just have to find another way to get Louis 908 00:38:01,350 --> 00:38:04,613 out of Monaco for good so my mother will finally see 909 00:38:04,683 --> 00:38:08,957 I was the right choice all along. 910 00:38:09,017 --> 00:38:10,959 Vengeance becomes you. 911 00:38:14,693 --> 00:38:19,027 (Rainbow Arabia's "without you" playing) 912 00:38:25,504 --> 00:38:26,705 Thank you. 913 00:38:26,775 --> 00:38:29,738 So how did your crazy roommate take it? 914 00:38:29,808 --> 00:38:32,481 It wasn't easy, but he'll be fine. 915 00:38:32,541 --> 00:38:34,613 Well, maybe you should get further from him 916 00:38:34,683 --> 00:38:36,515 than just Santa Monica. 917 00:38:36,585 --> 00:38:38,617 I'm sure it's okay. 918 00:38:38,687 --> 00:38:40,789 Unless you found us a different apartment. 919 00:38:40,849 --> 00:38:43,652 Mm, how about one on the Upper East Side? 920 00:38:43,722 --> 00:38:45,724 What are you talking about? 921 00:38:45,894 --> 00:38:48,056 Well, turns out my boss was only in L.A. for the movie. 922 00:38:48,326 --> 00:38:50,799 So my meeting was about transferring her back 923 00:38:50,859 --> 00:38:53,932 to her New York office, and I want you to come with me. 924 00:38:54,002 --> 00:38:56,765 Last time didn't work out so well. 925 00:38:56,835 --> 00:38:59,638 Well, this time, you won't have your mom to worry about, 926 00:38:59,708 --> 00:39:02,941 and you'll have your trust fund and your family. 927 00:39:03,011 --> 00:39:06,475 Cece wants us to stay with her in Montecito until we leave, 928 00:39:06,545 --> 00:39:07,916 and her house is huge. 929 00:39:08,076 --> 00:39:11,980 You would love it. Please. All you have to do is say yes. 930 00:39:14,523 --> 00:39:16,525 Why not? 931 00:39:16,585 --> 00:39:17,756 I think I'm done here. 932 00:39:17,826 --> 00:39:18,987 (Laughs) 933 00:39:19,057 --> 00:39:21,530 ♫ so lonely ♫ 934 00:39:21,590 --> 00:39:23,562 They say blood is thicker than water. 935 00:39:23,632 --> 00:39:25,093 ♫ Without you ♫ 936 00:39:25,464 --> 00:39:28,637 But it's also a lot harder to clean up when it spills. 937 00:39:28,697 --> 00:39:31,099 ♫ I'll wait for you ♫ 938 00:39:31,369 --> 00:39:35,844 ♫ I'll wait for you ♫ 939 00:39:37,005 --> 00:39:38,607 (Knock on door) 940 00:39:40,779 --> 00:39:42,050 If I'd known any better, 941 00:39:42,451 --> 00:39:44,028 I'd think you're starting to like Brooklyn. 942 00:39:44,052 --> 00:39:47,556 It isn't Brooklyn I'm here for. 943 00:39:47,616 --> 00:39:49,488 (Sighs) You're the only person I can have 944 00:39:49,558 --> 00:39:53,962 a furtive, emotionally loaded conversation with right now. 945 00:39:54,022 --> 00:39:55,594 How's Chuck? 946 00:39:55,664 --> 00:39:59,528 Uh, he's... okay. Sort of. Long freudian story. 947 00:39:59,598 --> 00:40:00,899 How are you? 948 00:40:00,969 --> 00:40:02,871 Pregnant. 949 00:40:04,473 --> 00:40:06,174 That makes it sound more real. 950 00:40:06,435 --> 00:40:08,877 I had hoped denial would last longer as a coping mechanism, 951 00:40:08,937 --> 00:40:11,610 but breast tenderness and morning sickness 952 00:40:11,680 --> 00:40:13,141 made that impossible. 953 00:40:13,411 --> 00:40:15,413 Um... 954 00:40:15,484 --> 00:40:19,548 You know, you do have options. 955 00:40:19,618 --> 00:40:21,019 And I've considered them all, 956 00:40:21,149 --> 00:40:24,793 but no matter what, this baby was conceived out of love, 957 00:40:24,853 --> 00:40:27,425 and... I'm gonna keep it. 958 00:40:27,496 --> 00:40:30,098 Um... 959 00:40:30,158 --> 00:40:32,931 Have you not told Louis because it might be Chuck's? 960 00:40:33,001 --> 00:40:35,934 I only slept with him once. 961 00:40:36,004 --> 00:40:38,567 I slept with Louis a hundred times. 962 00:40:38,637 --> 00:40:42,010 He may be mild-mannered, but he's surprisingly virile. 963 00:40:42,070 --> 00:40:44,012 So by the sheer law of probability, 964 00:40:44,072 --> 00:40:45,073 it must be his. 965 00:40:45,614 --> 00:40:48,817 Well, except the definition of "probability" 966 00:40:48,877 --> 00:40:52,481 is "strong likelihood," not, uh, "known fact." 967 00:40:52,551 --> 00:40:55,053 Haven't you read "the power of positive thinking"? 968 00:40:55,123 --> 00:40:58,857 Put your giant intellect aside and just focus with me 969 00:40:58,927 --> 00:40:59,988 on wish fulfillment. 970 00:41:00,128 --> 00:41:01,488 This is not that kind of situation. 971 00:41:01,890 --> 00:41:04,793 Even Blair Waldorf cannot bend d.N.A. To her will. 972 00:41:07,195 --> 00:41:11,500 I am about to marry a fabulous man... 973 00:41:11,570 --> 00:41:15,073 Who happens to be a prince. 974 00:41:16,675 --> 00:41:18,823 I can't be this close to having all my dreams come true 975 00:41:18,847 --> 00:41:22,551 only to have them yanked away by one transgression 976 00:41:22,611 --> 00:41:24,182 at a stranger's bar mitzvah. 977 00:41:24,252 --> 00:41:26,985 (Exhales deeply) Look, I know it's scary, 978 00:41:27,055 --> 00:41:29,888 but I think you should know who the father is, 979 00:41:29,958 --> 00:41:33,822 if not for yourself, then for the baby. 980 00:41:36,695 --> 00:41:40,028 ♫ I wait for you ♫ 981 00:41:40,098 --> 00:41:42,170 And what if I lose everything? 982 00:41:42,230 --> 00:41:45,133 You'll still have me. 983 00:41:45,203 --> 00:41:48,607 Maybe it's not blood bonds that make us a family. 984 00:41:48,677 --> 00:41:51,640 Perhaps it's the people who know our secrets 985 00:41:51,710 --> 00:41:55,814 and love us anyway, so we can finally be ourselves. 986 00:41:55,884 --> 00:41:59,187 X.o.x.o. Gossip girl.