Into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. I made the biggest mistake of my life walking out on you.
I promise to make it up to you, because I love you. You told me you were selling me oxy,
but those pills were antibiotics.
Dad. Look, I can explain. Get your things and come with me.
We're going home, to Brooklyn. If Dr. Van Der Woodsen loves your mother
as much as he said he did, then maybe there's something
she should know about Rufus. I want to talk to you about Lily.
Obviously, I'm not a doctor, but there's something weird
about her medicine. Name's Cameron.
Blair. Do you want to make that guy who showed up jealous or what?
I'm game if you are. I'm game.
And who am I?
That's a secret I'll never tell.
You know you love me.
X.o.x.o., gossip girl.
New day, new designer.
(Priscilla renea's "Mr. Workabee" playing)
Whether it's love or war you're outfitting for,
thank god for friends and fashion.
That one looks good.
Chuck and I played "wuthering heights" in it.
I mean, who starts a courtship during the day anyway?
Humans who venture out in light and aren't named "bass."
Serena, I have to tell you something.
What's wrong?
I've never been on a date.
What about Chuck? And Nate?
And Chuck. And then Nate again.
No, I mean on a real date,
with someone I didn't know already or who wasn't
a British lord masquerading as a college student. B., obviously, Cameron liked you
when he met you at the loft party.
Just be yourself and have fun. And try the Marc Jacobs.
I have to go. What's going on?
You haven't lusted after a Louboutin all morning.
I just have to get home.
Is it Lily?
I think Rufus cheated on her.
Oh, my god. I'm so sorry.
I didn't know they even had groupies that old.
They met at the rooftop garden committee.
Well, how is your mom taking it?
She doesn't know. I told my dad,
and he thought it would be best if we waited to tell her.
Stress isn't good for her condition.
Well, is there anything I can do?
Dorota's family has Polish mob connections.
No. (Chuckles) Thank you, though.
I'm just hoping Rufus will stay away until she gets stronger.
And, b., I don't know
if handcuffs are a good idea for a first date.
♫ Hey, Mr. Workabee ♫
♫ I see you working ♫
It's a good thing you're not a drug dealer anymore.
That girl you sold Lily's fake oxy to
wanted double what she paid just to give me the bottle back.
(Whispering) So what'd you find out?
My personal pharmacist is looking into it. Do you trust him to know
if they're bad for Lily? He appreciates a fine pharmaceutical.
And why are you whispering?
If it's a seduction technique, don't bother.
Ew. You wish.
No, i-I'm... I'm grounded again. Shocker, I know.
But I'm... I'm not supposed to use the phone.
Fine. Well, I'll let you know
when I hear something about the antibiotics.
Okay. Cool.
(Beep)
♫♫
(Sighs) (Nate) You give someone something?
Hmm. Only hours and hours of enjoyment.
Thank you for that visual. Look, I'm gonna go see Serena.
Does this mean she's finally out from under her father's spell?
No, Serena's in a good place. I mean, after palm beach,
she stopped running away or keeping secrets.
I'm glad.
Oh, um, say hello to Blair for me.
I hope she has a great day.
Okay, do not do anything to mess with her date, please.
Her date?
With whom?
(Chuckles) You serious?
You have all your spies, and you had to get it out of me?
Come on. You finally stopped defiling the pool table
with the entire cast of cirque du soleil.
You got Blair into Columbia. (Cell phone ringing)
Why not let things end on a good note?
Look, I need to take this. And don't worry.
I have more important concerns than Blair's social life. (Beep)
Hey. So what can you tell me about the pills?
We went over this. The only exception is schoolwork.
Chuck bass is not giving you your homework assignments.
What? Dad, you can't take it. I didn't even do anything wrong.
Well, it's nice to know I can spend my last night with Vanessa
and come home to my family, fighting like
they still live here. Don't know if you've heard, but your sister's a drug dealer.
Was. Past tense. And you already grounded me for it. Wait. Grounded to the loft?
Lily said she needed some time, so it was easier
to bring Jenny here. And Jenny would much rather be here anyway.
And Jenny's dad thinks it's time for her to stop arguing
and go do her homework. And talking about yourselves like you're not here
is helping how? You know, I can't do my homework without my books.
I'll go to Lily's and bring them back for you. Come with me? Sure.
Yeah, because Dan loves being in the middle of these things.
(Scoffs)
(Sighs)
Special delivery. You know,
I'm getting awfully spoiled having a doctor in the house.
Although I am looking forward
to drinking my apple juice straight.
I'm surprised you can even stand the smell of that stuff
after being pregnant with Serena. You're right.
I did drink an awful lot of it during those months, didn't I? And not just apple juice,
that green apple juice from that place down in the village.
What was it called again? I used to make you go all the way downtown
to get it for me. You didn't make me. I'd go down there right now
if the juice craze wasn't over.
About that speech...
D-don't... don't even say it.
I'm sorry. I just got caught up in the moment,
and it came out all wrong.
I was hoping that's what had happened.
And I'm... I'm just so thrilled to get to know the kids.
You've just done such an amazing job, Lily.
Really. You know, you... you and Rufus.
Thank you.
I honestly don't know
how we'd be getting through all of this without you.
Oh, which reminds me...
Those homeopathic remedies are clogging up my humidifier.
Want to check it out? Yeah.
(Ring)
Hello? You didn't answer your cell.
You mean my dad didn't. He took it.
Lily's pills are ivermectin.
They're great at battling parasites
and African river blindness,
but lymphoma, not so much. Well, is it dangerous?
I mean, does she know what she's taking?
What we need to find out is who prescribed them and when. I wish I didn't rip the label off the bottle.
I don't remember what it said. The date and the drug store were still legible,
which was enough to track down the prescribing doctor.
Luckily, pharmacists don't make enough to turn down bribes.
Okay, so what's next?
The mission requires an expert,
someone highly trained
in the art of extorting information.
You're not seriously
gonna use this to try to get back with Blair.
My priority is the truth.
If she's the one who can expose it... Then you'll take advantage of that
to make sure she doesn't move on. All right, I get it.
Let's just hope she's willing to make herself available.
Meet me at the Waldorfs'. But wait. I'm...
(Line disconnects) Grounded.
(Massive attack's "paradise circus" playing)
(Elevator bell dings) Hey, lil?
Rufus, I didn't know you were coming over.
Yeah, we're just picking up Jenny's schoolbooks. They're in her old room.
I thought my mom told you she needed some time.
I just want to check in and make sure we're still on
for that friends of the library thing tonight. I'm sorry, but if she wanted to talk to you,
then she would call you back. You should leave.
Serena, does she have a problem seeing me or is it you?
Holland told me what happened. About the sublet? I told you already.
I didn't want your dad living in the same building. You know it's not about that.
Rufus. What's going on?
I honestly don't know.
Um, Serena, what did Holland tell you?
Why don't you just leave?
You know what? Why don't we call Holland...
(Dialing cell phone) And have her tell us herself?
I don't know what you want me to say.
Well, Serena's under the impression
that you know something about something I did.
I shouldn't be here.
Come on. I have nothing to hide from my family.
Just tell them the truth.
(Exhales deeply)
Rufus and I slept together.
Talk about love thy neighbor.
(Rufus) What? (Holland) I'm sorry.
Next time, Rufus, choose one who knows how to keep a secret.
This is absurd.
Mom, I'm sorry. I didn't want you to find out like this.
(Lily) Serena, this is not your fault. (William) Lily, why don't you head upstairs,
let me handle this? Thank you, William. I'm gonna take you up on that.
Lily. Rufus.
Dad. I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt anyone.
But it's probably best now that the truth is out. Except this isn't the truth. Why would you say that?
Come on, Eric. We don't need to hear this. Rufus, you can't expect me to stand here
and lie to their faces. You just did.
You asked me to come up here.
You had to know it was going to happen. Excuse me. Holland, right?
This kind of stress is not good for Lily. Please tell her I'm sorry, again.
There's nothing to be sorry about. Nothing happened. (Elevator bell dings)
I think you should leave, too, Rufus. You'd love that, wouldn't you?
The only place I'm going is to see my wife.
What'd I miss?
Lil, I'm sorry. I had no idea she was an insane person.
Look, I don't want to discuss this with you.
Wait. You actually believe her?
What does she have to gain,
standing here, humiliating herself in front of our family?
I don't know what the hell's going on.
I just know she's lying. Yeah, well, it'd be a lot easier to believe
if you hadn't left your scarf in her apartment.
We went over this. I told you, nothing happened that night. Rufus, you, of all people,
could understand why I might have a doubt.
You didn't talk to me for weeks after you found
that letter from William. Lily, maybe you would do that, but I wouldn't, and I didn't.
When you're ready to hear that and talk about it,
give me a call.
So... crazy day at the Van Der woodsens', huh?
I just wanted to keep Rufus away until my mom got stronger.
(Thud) Well, you don't really think he did this, do you?
Why would Holland lie about it? I don't know. I don't even know who she is.
But I do know Rufus. I mean, he took me in
when my dad left us with nothing. He's a good guy. They all are, until they aren't anymore.
I'm just trying to protect my mom.
I get it, okay? But just give him a chance.
He gave you one when you bailed on brown.
Are you really taking his side right now?
I'm not taking sides. We're just talking about it.
Well, maybe that's not such a good idea. (Box thuds)
I have to go be with my family.
(Beeping)
I still don't see why we need Blair for this.
I mean, don't you read "gossip girl"?
Extortion's what I do all day.
This is more than headbands and high school.
(Footsteps approach)
The two of you here together? Please tell me
there's an explanation that doesn't involve the apocalypse.
We come in peace and with a purpose.
Something's going on with Lily's medication.
We need your mind game mastery to find out what.
Who are you, house?
I'm sure Dr. Van Der Woodsen knows what he's doing.
It's not Van Der Woodsen. It's a psychiatrist.
I have an address. It's weird, right?
Lily so does not seem like she's in therapy. And you so should be.
But as much as I admire the attempt to lure me back
with subversive sleuthing,
and appreciative as I am of your help with Columbia,
the answer's no.
Blair, I need to find out
why someone doesn't want Lily getting better.
A heartfelt plea as well.
And much more effective than a fatwa.
But you obviously already know that I have a date today.
And nothing you can dangle will make me miss it.
Next time, don't bring Jenny Humphrey.
I'm sorry you had to find out about Rufus like that.
I know you two have become close. You know I'm only concerned with how you're doing.
I'm not sure. Is that too honest?
No. No, it makes sense.
Well, you know, after five marriages,
the last thing I want to do is
put you and Serena through another divorce.
It might sound cold, but they do get easier.
Rufus is different, you know?
He's been like a father to you.
And I-I love him. But if you think he cheated on you,
you can't stay with him because of me.
You have to stay with him because you still love him
and because you think you guys can work through this.
It doesn't matter who you end up with
as long as you're still here.
Well, thanks for coming with me, man.
It means a lot, you getting involved. Well, hey, my dad would have done this and worse.
All right, and no matter what Serena wants to believe,
there's no way Rufus would hurt Lily like that.
Does Serena know you're doing this? Well, I was thinking we'd see what we find out
before I tell her. You're on dangerous ground there.
Yeah, but the only way to clean up this mess, for everyone,
is to find out the truth. Yeah, well, I-I know. That's why we need the help of an expert.
Philosophy of war?
Hmm. I'm finally home. (Elevator bell dings)
Nate? Humphrey? (Scoffs)
Please don't tell me my mother rehired you as a cater waiter. I'm Dan.
Cameron. Hey, Nate. Great game last week. Thanks. Sorry to interrupt.
We just need Blair's help with something. Yes, people often drop by with their problems
because they know how supportive I am.
Supportive, I.E. Scheming.
Did... Chuck send you?
His pill plan didn't work, so he sent frick and frack
to ruin my date? No, Blair, this is about my dad and Lily.
This woman Holland has accused him of... cheating.
Wait a minute. An artist or a hippie activist, maybe,
but rooftop garden committee?
I knew that something wasn't right when Serena told me.
No way would another upper east sider shtup Rufus.
My stepfather's Jewish. Oh.
Blair, we can't let Lily leave Rufus. Will you help us?
Exposing scandal on the Upper East Side?
Show me your world, Blair Waldorf.
(Sighs)
They'd be lost without me.
Tell me everything you know about this Holland person.
Trust me. I live with the Van Der woodsens.
I learned how to lie. (Chuckles)
Can I help you? We're here to see Dr. Kemble.
Did you have an appointment?
Well, I work for a troubled teen hotline,
and I'm really worried that I said some wrong things about
drugs and depression, and was hoping that Dr. Kemble could
actually give me some advice. Of course. The doctor will be back next week.
Next week... Will be fine. Thank you.
And what brings you and your mid-level entourage?
Nothing personal.
We're looking for Holland, who claims she slept with Rufus.
Let me guess...
Dr. Holland kemble?
You better hope this doctor gets healed
before someone else gets hurt.
(Dials)
So what exactly am I looking for?
A bottle of pills, like the one with the oxy...
Hopefully, with the label on this time.
Or something else that can directly link them to Holland.
Okay, I will rummage and report.
(Beep)
Holland is obviously trying to poison Lily so she can
have Rufus all to herself. So shakespearean.
Yeah. It's also "fatal attraction."
I just can't handle dead bunnies.
Maybe I'm stating the obvious here,
but shouldn't we just tell Lily? Tell her what?
"Jenny tried to sell your mislabeled meds, which somehow
came from the woman who said she slept with your husband"?
No, we have to get to Holland first.
She's the one who can connect all the dots,
and then we go to Lily. Holland will be at the library benefit tonight.
I saw it on the calendar. Perfect. Public humiliation always helps
when trying to elicit a confession. We don't expect you to keep up.
It's beyond basic rugby strategy. So hopefully, Jenny will find
something we can use as leverage. Exactly, Humphrey. Glad to have you aboard this time.
All right. Rendezvous at my place.
Dress is black-tie. I'll have tickets.
(Cameron) So...
You guys do this kind of thing a lot?
Oh, yeah. A lot more than you'd think.
Last year, Georgina pretended to be this rich Canadian
to get Poppy, but things got all messed up
when she turned her back on Jesus.
Yeah, but Dan doesn't normally participate.
So that's your sorry-your-husband-
was-cheating-on-you present... A juicer?
Trust me. It'll make your mother smile.
(Chuckles) Sometimes I wish she would have
let you take us away from here when you wanted to.
Tibet sounds pretty good right now. Only if you don't get typhoid.
Besides, wherever you run, things still happen.
All you can do is try to learn from them.
Well, as awful as it's been,
maybe mom needed this
to see that she wasn't with the right man.
I'm not gonna take advantage of the situation
to try to get closer to your mother.
Well, you have been there throughout her entire sickness.
And this whole thing with Rufus could have happened
so that you could finally stop hiding how you really feel.
(Chuckles) I feel happy to be out shopping with my daughter,
and to be able to spend some time
with the people that I love. Including mom.
Serena.
Good-bye.
Hey.
Why don't you do something tonight to cheer her up?
There's the library benefit. You could invite her.
Only if you come, too.
(Drawer rattles)
What are you doing here? No pills to steal in Brooklyn?
I actually came by to get a dress...
If you haven't destroyed them all already. I have no interest in your wannabe watanabe.
As I'm sure you saw, your stuff is by the front.
And last time I checked, dresses weren't in the kitchen
near my mom's medicine. Do you even know what your dad's prescribing her?
Probably something with high street value
or you wouldn't be interested. If you could just stop hating me for, like, one second,
you'd actually see I was trying to help your family.
Yeah, yeah. You and your dad have done wonderful things
for us Van Der woodsens. Like it's been such a banner year for the Humphreys?
I would give it all back... The clothes, the parties,
the limo rides... just for one day that felt normal. Then why are you still here?
You're right.
Nothing would make me happier
than to go back to Brooklyn forever.
(Scoffs)
(Elevator bell dings)
Was that Jenny leaving? Were you two fighting over Rufus?
I don't want you kids in the middle. That was just Jenny.
You know her... All angst, all the time.
(Sighs) Oh, god.
You okay? Do you want me to call dad?
No, I'm fine. I'm fine physically.
Sitting around here is only gonna make you worse.
Dad invited us to the library benefit tonight.
Why don't we go with him? Oh, my god. A juicer?
Don't tell me...
A night out with your father is exactly what the doctor ordered.
I'm sorry your new Beau had to abandon our mission.
Oh, he had a dinner with his rugby team. How homoerotic.
You know how I love that.
We have plans to continue our date later.
So are you all ready to make the fat lady sing?
I'll settle for making the lying doctor lady confess.
Oh, here's Nancy drew now. Did you get our proof?
Come on, Jenny.
The future of our family is riding on your sleuthing.
I'm sorry. I looked everywhere, but there was nothing.
All right, what now? If we don't have evidence,
she has no reason to tell us anything. Well, luckily,
like every great general, I have contingency plans.
Archibald, it's time to make use of those family connections.
Watch out, lonely boy.
Seems your little sister has her own ideas
about your family's planning.
(Sighs)
(Big band music playing)
(Indistinct conversations)
(Clink) (Speaks indistinctly)
(Blair) Serena is here. This complicates things.
We have to avoid them seeing us.
S. Won't be on board,
and we can't have a blonde bombshell blowing up our plan.
And the plan is we wait for Nate and Dan to arrive
with some a.M.A. Guy who's friends with Nate's family? The plan is you wait with his ticket.
His name is Dr. Tabb, so pretend you're well-bred and be polite.
It'll pay off if you ever need
orthopedic surgery at mount sinai. Like when you stab me in the back.
Blair and I will keep our eye on Holland.
Once our leverage arrives, she'll either tell us the truth
or we tell Dr. Tabb, and he revokes her license.
I need a phone, too. My dad took mine.
Don't worry, little. J.
You'll be back on park Avenue in no time.
What are you doing?
Playing the part. Mnh-mnh.
♫♫
(Dialing cell phone)
Hi. Uh, mount sinai orthopedic?
Please let Dr. Tabb know that there's no need to wait.
Uh, Nate Archibald had a change of plans
and won't be coming in tonight. Thanks.
(Dials)
♫♫
(Indistinct conversations)
You know, I have to say, it's really nice to be here
with someone who doesn't hate these sort of things.
I have an idea.
I've already had it.
Dr. Kemble, I've been dying to get ahold of you.
I've wanted to get him to come to therapy for weeks.
Dad, what are you doing here?
Serena called me, but I was already on my way.
I figured if my grounded daughter goes missing,
I just have to wait till the next big party
to know where to find her. Dad, I know you have no reason to believe me,
but this time I'm actually trying to help you. Jenny, is Holland here? Oh, dad.
What'd you say about Holland? Is she here? The a.M.A. Guy wasn't at the hospital,
and Blair's not picking up her phone. If Holland's here, I need to talk to her.
I've been trying to reach her all day. (Nate) Not a good idea.
(Dan) And you don't have a ticket. Dad, you're not even dressed.
Serena.
♫♫
I know a scheme when I see one.
I assume Chuck and Blair are here somewhere?
Okay, yeah, they're looking for Holland.
What was I supposed to do? I know Rufus did not do this.
And you won't even give him a chance. Why should I? He wouldn't give my dad a chance.
Oh, so that's it?
Anyone who might not like your dad has to go?
Nate, all I asked you to do was support me,
and instead, you went behind my back.
It's not like that. (Sighs) Look, I get why everyone else did this.
Dan and Jenny don't want to believe that their dad cheated,
Chuck will do anything to get close to Blair,
and Blair, as much as she wants to, can't run away from a game.
But you were supposed to be on my side.
As if watching Audrey hepburn movies
isn't manhood-shriveling enough,
I now have to talk about my feelings?
Those movies are the only romance I have in my life.
He loves his work more than he loves me. I'm sorry. I really prefer to see couples in my office.
Why don't you call and make an appointment? Please. Please.
He traded me to his uncle... For his hotel.
Traded you? For sex.
Please, is it any worse than you tricking me into kissing a guy
just so you can give a speech? That's not the same. He's kissed guys before.
She slept with Jack... My uncle.
Clearly, you both have hurt each other,
and now neither of you feel safe. How can we rebuild?
Ahem. Ahem. Ahem. (Coughs)
(Holland) It's going to take a lot of hard work
and a lot of time. (Cell phone alert chimes)
Are there any trust games involved? I'm sorry. I really do have to go.
Did I hear talk of games? Please, just make an appointment.
Just one more thing... That man over there
is on the a.M.A. Disciplinary committee.
Last time I checked, it was illegal
to prescribe mislabeled medication,
especially to those who aren't even your patients. What?
You two really are sick.
The person standing with him is waiting for my signal,
to show him I have proof of what you did to Lily Humphrey.
Just tell us why. Are you in love with Rufus?
They say psychiatrists are the craziest ones.
Blair? What the hell is going on?
Would you like to tell him
or would you like Dr. Disciplinary to do it?
I only wrote those prescriptions because I owed someone a favor.
The same someone who told you say you slept with me? The person you really need
to talk to is William Van Der Woodsen.
Where's will?
What's so important, Jenny?
Holland's about to tell them everything,
if she hasn't already. Tell who what?
Everyone. The truth about you and Holland working together
to split up my dad and Lily.
Jenny, I'm sorry. I know that you love your father very much...
Which is why I understand why you did it.
And I don't blame you for it either. It's just...
If you're gonna get out of here, you gotta go right now.
Why are you telling me this?
So you can get your family back,
and I can get mine.
Thanks for your help. I'll call if I hear about
any cater waiter positions, all right?
♫♫
Have you seen Lily?
Uh, she just left with Serena and will.
In this family feud,
that's Van Der Woodsen, 1, Humphrey, 0.
You guys are home early. Was that boring?
Action-packed, actually. Your father got a call. He's gotta get back to palm beach.
One of my patients has taken a bad turn.
I've gotta get down there right away.
And we're going with him. You guys get packed.
I'll arrange for a helicopter to take us to Teterboro.
Eric, mom needs us right now.
This is our chance to finally be a family.
I'll, uh,
I'll go get my stuff.
(Cell phone rings)
(Ring)
(Beep)
(Snaps cell phone shut)
(Cell phone rings)
(Beep)
Nate already tried calling.
There's no reason to defend your dad.
We're already packing for palm beach.
I just want my mom to be able to put this behind her. Serena, I'm not calling about my dad.
I'm calling about yours. Please don't hang up.
Pl... I-I know how happy you are to have him back,
but he's the one who got Holland to lie about the affair,
and he had her prescribe pills for Lily, too. Dan, my dad is a doctor.
Why would he need Holland to give her pills?
Because the pills aren't helping her illness,
and he didn't want them traced back to him. Okay, what you're saying is just crazy.
Any crazier than your whole family
leaving town with him tonight? I'm gonna go. Good-bye.
Serena, wait... (Snaps cell phone shut)
(Beep)
You all set? My bags are downstairs.
Yeah.
Um, you know, I was thinking
maybe we could just wait and, uh, fly out tomorrow.
I wish we could. I've got to get to my patient immediately.
Are you sure that's what it's about?
People are saying you're behind this Holland thing.
Holland?
Um, let me go check on mom.
(Elevator bell dings)
Rufus, what are you doing here? I'd like to talk to your mother.
She doesn't want... Rufus, what is it?
The truth, finally.
You want to tell her or should I?
So Serena's father sends her this letter saying that
he and Lily were together when she came to see him...
Hoping it would cause problems between Lily and my dad,
maybe even split 'em up. When that failed, he went to plan "b"...
Getting Holland to befriend Rufus. Holland's husband was leaving her,
and she was desperate for a friend. But once again,
Rufus and Lily proved too solid, so on to plan "c." There's a plan "c"?
Oh, I always have a plan "c."
Put yourself in the good doctor's loafers.
Lily comes to him over the summer. She's actually sick.
He cures her, falls in love, decides to win her back,
only Holland tells him Lily and Rufus are copper-bottom.
He thinks, "what can I do to get her to love me,
the family to accept me?"
Save her life. So the pills he gets from Holland...
The ones you stole. Antibiotics, the side effects of which mimic her symptoms.
He cures her again, gets to be the hero,
and they live happily ever after.
No wonder you admire him.
It's almost like something you would do.
Thank you. It does have the fingerprints of my genius.
The only question now is...
Will Lily believe my dad?
Lily, this is absurd. You cannot believe his lies.
Should I call Holland? This time she'll tell the truth.
So you get your mistress to change her story and... Hey. Is my mom really sick?
Right now that's all I wanna know. Of course she was sick.
Uh, to... to even imagine that I would prescribe your mother
medication that she didn't need? It's preposterous.
I've got the files in my bag. Do you want to see them?
You don't have to prove yourself.
Apparently, I do.
Excuse me. William.
I didn't cheat on you, lil.
I would never cheat on you. Rufus.
So she's not sick? I just want to be clear. She's not sick anymore.
He's been lying since he got to New York, to all of us.
Do you think he's even coming back? Yes, of course he is. You heard what he said.
And I'm... I'm sorry, mom. I don't want you to be sick.
But dad is not lying to us.
(Elevator bell dings)
Where's William?
He-he's in the lobby downstairs getting his bags.
(Nate) There's no one in the lobby. He's down there.
Serena, the lobby's empty.
You... you just must not have seen him. He wouldn't leave.
Hey. Hey. He wouldn't leave me.
Let her go. (Whispers) Oh, god.
(Elevator bell dings) We should call the police.
All right, well, let's just give him a minute.
No. If we wait, he'll be gone for good. (Beep)
Yes, captain Lewis? This is Nate Archibald.
We met at my grandfather's this summer.
Listen, I need a favor.
What I'd like to know is how did William know to get out of town?
Someone must have tipped him off.
It had to be one of us. It was me.
(Beach house's "zebra" playing)
♫ you know you're gold ♫
♫ you don't gotta worry none ♫
♫ oasis child ♫
♫ born and so wild ♫
What happened?
It's true. He left.
♫ All deception, all deception from you ♫
(Helicopter blades whirring)
I need you to tell me the truth.
When your mother came to me last summer, she was sick.
I cured her.
Then I fell in love with her again.
When I came here and saw you and Eric,
I-I realized how badly I had messed up.
I never wanted to hurt any of you.
I just wanted my family back.
All you needed to do was be here.
I'm sorry, Serena.
I just thought unless your mother needed me...
You weren't gonna give me a chance.
Well, the police are on their way now,
so you should probably go.
Why don't you come with me?
I don't forgive you.
I also don't need to punish you.
So if you just go now, I'll make sure they don't come after you.
(Sirens wailing in distance)
I love you, Serena.
(Voice breaks) I love you, too, dad.
Go now.
(Sirens continue wailing)
(Helicopter whirring)
(Crying)
Rufus, I'm sorry I didn't believe you.
I was just so overwhelmed.
The only thing that matters is I'm not losing you...
To cancer, to will or anything else.
Really? That's it?
Dad, she believed you cheated.
She was leaving with her ex-husband. And you helped make that happen.
You know, you think that William's the only problem?
He's not, dad. You and Lily fight all the time.
I mean, one of you thinks the other's cheating.
You both keep secrets. Jenny, that's between me and Lily.
You know, I wish it was,
but we all get dragged into it, just like we did today.
When we lived in Brooklyn, I might have had
to take the subway to school and make my own clothes,
but at least our family was happy.
I don't see what's so wrong about wanting my life
to go back to normal. This is where we live.
What needs to get back to normal is you. (Scoffs)
If you don't want to be a part of this family,
no one is forcing you to stay.
(Massive attack's "paradise circus" playing)
(Hope sandoval) ♫ it's unfortunate ♫
♫ that when we feel a storm ♫
♫ we can roll ourselves over ♫
♫ 'cause we're uncomfortable ♫
♫ oh, where ♫
♫ the devil makes us sin ♫
(Sighs) You don't have to wait with me.
Lily is fine, and the sting is over.
You're not really going to keep up this rugby player facade.
It's not a facade.
It's a date, and he's on his way.
(Sighs)
♫♫
I know you felt it.
We were caught up in a scheme,
and it was role-play.
It was real.
I know you feel it right now.
It doesn't change anything.
And Holland may be crazy, but she was right.
No matter what I feel or don't, we're not safe.
I did the most dangerous thing I could
when I said "I love you,"
and it was worth it.
If I got through my fear for you,
you can get through yours for me.
You have until tomorrow to decide.
What?
We're never going to be safe.
So are you brave enough or aren't you?
I'll be waiting at the top of the empire state building.
You can't "affair to remember" me.
If you're not there tomorrow,
at 7:01, I'm closing my heart to you forever.
Well, I won't be there.
♫ Oh ♫
♫ yeah ♫
♫ it's unfortunate ♫
♫ that when we feel a storm ♫
How'd the sting go?
Oh.
I'd much rather hear about rugby.
Fair enough. Rugby is a real sport.
Football's for... (Speaks indistinctly)
♫ but we like it when we're spinning ♫
(Cell phone rings)
♫ for the one that feels it the most ♫ (Ring)
Hello? Hey. I've been calling you.
There's nothing more to say.
I got to my dad before the cops did.
So I guess now you know
why I don't talk to you about things. (Line disconnects)
♫ she will love you like a fly ♫
♫ never love you ♫
Thanks for coming with me.
I know this was a complicated one for you.
When are things not complicated with Serena Van Der Woodsen?
(Sighs)
♫ again ♫
You want to talk about it?
(Sighs)
When the family tree falls,
we all need a friend to lead us out of the woods...
♫♫
(Elevator bell dings)
Or into them.
I didn't know you'd be here. I live here.
I know. I just thought you'd, um, be with Serena or something.
Nope.
But careful...
Once darkness descends, true natures emerge,
and everything is fair game until morning.
X.o.x.o., gossip girl.