1 00:00:03,734 --> 00:00:07,407 Into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. You really like Olivia, though, right? 2 00:00:07,408 --> 00:00:10,310 Yeah. Yeah, I do. (Vanessa) Don't you think that dating a movie star 3 00:00:10,311 --> 00:00:13,783 is gonna be hard? We're completely monogamous. It's just one of our games. 4 00:00:13,784 --> 00:00:16,486 Chuck plays the cheating bastard, 5 00:00:16,487 --> 00:00:19,519 and I play the scorned woman. What happens when one day you don't get there in time, 6 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:23,123 and he actually kisses someone else? My parents are artists. My sister's a musician. 7 00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:25,795 Just like going to an Ivy is your family's way, 8 00:00:25,796 --> 00:00:28,258 not going to college is mine. I met this woman. 9 00:00:28,259 --> 00:00:31,101 I knew they'd take care of my debts, so I proposed. 10 00:00:31,102 --> 00:00:33,633 So what, you just disappeared? It's the worst thing I've ever done. 11 00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:39,370 Do you think the buckleys would actually hurt him? (Chuck) They might. They clearly want revenge. 12 00:00:40,511 --> 00:00:42,812 And who am I? 13 00:00:42,813 --> 00:00:46,546 That's a secret I'll never tell. 14 00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,548 You know you love me. 15 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:53,523 X.o.x.o., gossip girl. 16 00:00:53,524 --> 00:00:55,525 (Amplified voice) But what truly defines 17 00:00:55,526 --> 00:00:57,227 tonight's honored guest 18 00:00:57,228 --> 00:00:59,529 is not something that can be easily categorized... 19 00:00:59,530 --> 00:01:01,531 (Man) The distinguished-looking gentleman at the podium 20 00:01:01,532 --> 00:01:03,533 is an alumnus of the university. 21 00:01:03,534 --> 00:01:05,535 He will go on speaking for a long time. 22 00:01:05,536 --> 00:01:08,598 It is not important that you hear what he says. 23 00:01:08,599 --> 00:01:11,141 In closing, those of us at the university 24 00:01:11,142 --> 00:01:13,103 will have had the pleasure 25 00:01:13,104 --> 00:01:15,105 of getting to know tonight's recipient, 26 00:01:15,106 --> 00:01:18,508 know that she is a kind and gentle soul. Hey, you okay? 27 00:01:18,509 --> 00:01:21,811 What? No. No, I am not okay. 28 00:01:21,812 --> 00:01:25,415 Her humility, her devotion, her love for us. 29 00:01:25,416 --> 00:01:27,457 Ladies and gentlemen, 30 00:01:27,458 --> 00:01:31,362 miss Vanessa Abrams. 31 00:01:40,131 --> 00:01:42,732 No. 32 00:01:42,733 --> 00:01:45,605 (Film projector whirring) 33 00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:48,178 No! 34 00:01:48,179 --> 00:01:49,839 No! 35 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:52,242 (Pants) 36 00:01:52,243 --> 00:01:53,784 (Sighs) 37 00:01:54,745 --> 00:01:57,147 (Cup clinks) Bad dream? 38 00:01:57,148 --> 00:01:58,848 Don't tell me it was "charade" again. 39 00:01:58,849 --> 00:02:01,821 I know how terrifying you find Walter matthau. 40 00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:05,855 Worse. I was in "all about Eve." That's not a hepburn movie. 41 00:02:05,856 --> 00:02:07,327 I know. 42 00:02:07,328 --> 00:02:09,629 I was Bette Davis. 43 00:02:09,630 --> 00:02:11,631 I've never been Bette Davis before. 44 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,563 I'm Audrey hepburn, 45 00:02:13,564 --> 00:02:16,406 not some plain baby Jane. 46 00:02:16,407 --> 00:02:18,168 (Panting) 47 00:02:18,169 --> 00:02:19,810 Who was Eve? 48 00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:24,644 I couldn't see her face. 49 00:02:24,645 --> 00:02:29,179 Blair, we both know this is about N.Y.U. 50 00:02:29,180 --> 00:02:31,581 Now it may take time, 51 00:02:31,582 --> 00:02:33,823 but one day you will hold that school 52 00:02:33,824 --> 00:02:36,857 in the palm of your dainty hand. 53 00:02:42,193 --> 00:02:44,194 (Sighs) 54 00:02:44,195 --> 00:02:45,465 I'm Audrey. 55 00:02:45,466 --> 00:02:47,838 I'm Audrey. 56 00:02:51,202 --> 00:02:53,743 (Telephone rings) 57 00:02:53,744 --> 00:02:55,505 Well, thank you, councilman. 58 00:02:55,506 --> 00:02:57,607 I know my cousin appreciates your support. 59 00:02:57,608 --> 00:02:59,779 Yes, I'll be sure to tell him. Thanks. 60 00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,751 When did Tripp decide to run for congress? 61 00:03:01,752 --> 00:03:03,753 And should somebody tell him 62 00:03:03,754 --> 00:03:05,715 the election is not until next year? 63 00:03:05,716 --> 00:03:07,717 Well, after congressman kruger died, 64 00:03:07,718 --> 00:03:10,520 a house seat opened up in Manhattan. 65 00:03:10,521 --> 00:03:12,592 You know grandfather. He figured, why wait? 66 00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:16,726 Well, it's nice of you to help. Mm. Well, Tripp's a good guy, 67 00:03:16,727 --> 00:03:19,729 and with the buckleys buying up all these attack ads 68 00:03:19,730 --> 00:03:22,502 against his campaign, I'm taking it kind of personally. 69 00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:24,934 Yeah. Have you... have you spoken to Bree lately? 70 00:03:24,935 --> 00:03:26,676 No. You spoken to Carter? 71 00:03:26,677 --> 00:03:28,708 Not since my mom's wedding. 72 00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,710 I've left him a dozen messages. 73 00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:32,712 I don't know if he's mad at me or... 74 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,984 Well, Serena, that's why I called. 75 00:03:34,985 --> 00:03:38,448 Supposedly the buckleys are flying him out to galveston 76 00:03:38,449 --> 00:03:40,450 so he can work off his debt. 77 00:03:40,451 --> 00:03:42,952 Work it off how? On one of the family oil rigs. 78 00:03:42,953 --> 00:03:45,555 Th-that's crazy. It would take him, like, 20 years 79 00:03:45,556 --> 00:03:48,828 to earn that kind of money. I think they're more interested in getting Carter 80 00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:52,302 out to the Gulf with a bunch of Texas roughnecks. 81 00:03:52,303 --> 00:03:55,465 So it's not like he's going to be making a lot of friends. 82 00:03:55,466 --> 00:03:58,237 No, please tell me this is a joke. 83 00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:01,771 Don't worry. I have an idea. 84 00:04:01,772 --> 00:04:04,844 (The replacements' "achin' to be" playing) 85 00:04:04,845 --> 00:04:08,548 Yes. Yes. Lily loves her Jefferson airplane. 86 00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:13,753 So, Rufus, how is married life? Well, at the risk of sounding like a man deeply in love, 87 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,956 uh, each day gets better than the one before. It must be, 88 00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:19,729 if you're packing these "welcome back, kotter" mugs. 89 00:04:19,730 --> 00:04:23,333 They'll look great next to Lily's China. Yeah, maybe we should hold off on the sweathogs. 90 00:04:23,334 --> 00:04:26,336 "In just a few short months, freshman leader Vanessa Abrams 91 00:04:26,337 --> 00:04:28,498 has tackled numerous social and environmental issues." 92 00:04:28,499 --> 00:04:32,271 What is that? Oh, it's just a wildly flattering cover story 93 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,844 on Vanessa in the N.Y.U. Paper. It doesn't mean anything. 94 00:04:34,845 --> 00:04:37,547 Except that she's a shoo-in to give the toast 95 00:04:37,548 --> 00:04:40,550 at the freshman dinner on parents' weekend. Dan, can I borrow your muscles? 96 00:04:40,551 --> 00:04:44,454 Is that true? About the toast? I... I got a message from Josh Ellis. 97 00:04:44,455 --> 00:04:47,016 He's the alumnus who decides who gives the toast. 98 00:04:47,017 --> 00:04:49,959 Supposedly it's between me and some other girl. 99 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,762 I probably won't get it. Well, speech or no speech, 100 00:04:52,763 --> 00:04:54,694 I-I hope you're inviting your parents. 101 00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:57,427 You're kidding, right? My parents hate 102 00:04:57,428 --> 00:04:59,799 that I'm at a private college, "buying" an elitist education. 103 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,771 "Knowledge shouldn't be for sale." 104 00:05:01,772 --> 00:05:03,773 Sure, Arlo and Gabriela are progressive, 105 00:05:03,774 --> 00:05:07,337 but if they knew how much good you were doing at the school, 106 00:05:07,338 --> 00:05:08,978 I'm sure they'd come around. 107 00:05:08,979 --> 00:05:10,980 It would be kind of amazing if they came 108 00:05:10,981 --> 00:05:14,744 and, you know, actually approved of something I was doing. 109 00:05:14,745 --> 00:05:17,316 But whatever. I haven't been chosen yet, so... 110 00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:18,948 Well, you will be. 111 00:05:18,949 --> 00:05:22,522 And tomorrow night, Dan and I will be there front and center. 112 00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:24,654 Oh, um, yeah, you know what? 113 00:05:24,655 --> 00:05:26,526 Actually, Olivia just got back from Japan. 114 00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:30,600 I was hoping we would hang out tomorrow night. So bring Olivia. 115 00:05:30,601 --> 00:05:34,003 Or not. It's your call. I-I don't want to force you. 116 00:05:34,004 --> 00:05:35,965 ♫♫ 117 00:05:35,966 --> 00:05:38,768 What? What? We... we just started dating. 118 00:05:38,769 --> 00:05:41,711 Isn't it a little soon for meet the parents? 119 00:05:41,712 --> 00:05:44,574 Not for Olivia. She seems really easygoing and into you. 120 00:05:44,575 --> 00:05:46,546 Yeah, seriously, Dan. Play the parent card. 121 00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:50,119 People like you more when they meet our family. It's true. 122 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:53,583 All right. Okay. A-all right. I'll invite her. 123 00:05:53,584 --> 00:05:55,024 Oh, that's awesome. 124 00:05:55,025 --> 00:05:57,427 It's gonna be a great night for the Humphreys. 125 00:05:57,428 --> 00:06:00,690 And who knows? Maybe the abramses. 126 00:06:00,691 --> 00:06:02,892 Wait. Bree's cousin hosts a poker game? 127 00:06:02,893 --> 00:06:06,135 Yeah, p.J. Buckley. Picture, like, a young j.R. Ewing 128 00:06:06,136 --> 00:06:07,837 in earnest sewn jeans. 129 00:06:07,838 --> 00:06:10,600 And you really think he'll play for Carter's debt? 130 00:06:10,601 --> 00:06:12,602 Oh, I've seen his friends bet thoroughbreds, 131 00:06:12,603 --> 00:06:15,605 an island in the Seychelles, the Knicks. 132 00:06:15,606 --> 00:06:17,777 Okay, but what makes you think we'll win? 133 00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:19,809 You're not exactly a card shark. 134 00:06:19,810 --> 00:06:22,712 Well, this one night at the maidstone, 135 00:06:22,713 --> 00:06:24,754 Bree told me every one of p.J.'S tells. 136 00:06:24,755 --> 00:06:27,557 So you'll know exactly when to call his bluff. 137 00:06:27,558 --> 00:06:28,858 Wait. Me? 138 00:06:28,859 --> 00:06:31,791 Oh, yeah. You're gonna be playing. 139 00:06:31,792 --> 00:06:33,663 Nate. (Chuckles) 140 00:06:33,664 --> 00:06:34,694 No. 141 00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:36,696 Well, Serena, p.J. Hates me. 142 00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:38,598 I mean, luckily, he likes blondes, though. 143 00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:41,601 And didn't you spend a summer in monte Carlo with your mom, 144 00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:44,003 when she dated Carlos mortensen? I was 9. 145 00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:47,977 Carlos taught me to play using necco wafers as chips. 146 00:06:47,978 --> 00:06:50,009 Well, just imagine Carter owes the buckleys 147 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:52,582 half a million necco wafers. 148 00:06:52,583 --> 00:06:54,584 "And Ms. Abrams has even been mentioned 149 00:06:54,585 --> 00:06:56,586 "as a contender to deliver this year's toast 150 00:06:56,587 --> 00:06:58,988 at the freshman dinner." Oh, my god. Enough. 151 00:06:58,989 --> 00:07:01,951 I am in no mood to hear you Fawn over some girl 152 00:07:01,952 --> 00:07:04,053 with tacky accessories who lives to recycle. 153 00:07:04,054 --> 00:07:06,055 Blair, didn't you ask Mr. Ellis 154 00:07:06,056 --> 00:07:08,528 if you could give the freshman speech? 155 00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:11,461 I put out feelers. That's totally different. 156 00:07:11,462 --> 00:07:14,133 Of course. I'd be honored, Mr. Ellis. Thank you. 157 00:07:14,134 --> 00:07:14,905 You. 158 00:07:14,906 --> 00:07:16,666 Yeah, Blair, me. 159 00:07:16,667 --> 00:07:20,439 F.y.i... one insipid article does not mean people here like you. 160 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,112 The fever will pass, like swine flu. 161 00:07:23,113 --> 00:07:25,144 Really? Huh. Then I wonder why Josh Ellis... 162 00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:27,617 He's this kind of important alumni liaison... 163 00:07:27,618 --> 00:07:31,882 Told me to start working on my toast for the freshman dinner. 164 00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:34,984 (Door opens) 165 00:07:34,985 --> 00:07:39,158 (Blair) What are you standing there for? Get in here! (Squeals) 166 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:42,632 I love it. You know, cobalt's my favorite color. 167 00:07:42,633 --> 00:07:44,063 Push the button. 168 00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:46,035 (Electronic female voice) It's 11:45. 169 00:07:46,036 --> 00:07:48,037 Your hair is so pleasing. 170 00:07:48,038 --> 00:07:50,039 (Laughs) (Laughs) It's a compliment watch. 171 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,042 And it flatters in three different languages. Oh, my god. 172 00:07:53,043 --> 00:07:56,045 This is the greatest watch in the history of all watches. 173 00:07:56,046 --> 00:07:58,878 The Swiss should be ashamed for not thinking of it first. 174 00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:02,481 So, um, what are you gonna do this weekend to thank me? Uh, you know, 175 00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,984 actually, um, about that, I was thinking I would invite you 176 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,986 to the parents' weekend freshman dinner 177 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:08,818 with, uh, with me and my parents. 178 00:08:08,819 --> 00:08:12,522 And I-I know you're probably exhausted. I would love to. 179 00:08:12,523 --> 00:08:14,724 Really? Are you sure? 'Cause you heard the part 180 00:08:14,725 --> 00:08:16,866 about my parents, right? Dan, the last three guys I dated... 181 00:08:16,867 --> 00:08:19,168 I met their agent, their manager, 182 00:08:19,169 --> 00:08:20,630 their publicist, 183 00:08:20,631 --> 00:08:23,002 a personal trainer who also read tarot cards, 184 00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:25,935 and I never met a single one of their parents. 185 00:08:25,936 --> 00:08:28,078 I would love to meet yours. 186 00:08:31,181 --> 00:08:32,642 I missed you. 187 00:08:32,643 --> 00:08:35,084 It's 11:46. 188 00:08:35,085 --> 00:08:37,286 Your teeth shine like diamonds. 189 00:08:37,287 --> 00:08:38,818 (Giggles) It's true. 190 00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:40,550 It's very true. Mm. 191 00:08:40,551 --> 00:08:42,692 (Woman) You've reached Arlo and Gabriela Abrams. 192 00:08:42,693 --> 00:08:43,953 Pay it forward. (Beep) 193 00:08:43,954 --> 00:08:45,695 Hey, mom, dad. 194 00:08:45,696 --> 00:08:48,828 Look, I know you guys aren't happy that I'm at N.Y.U., 195 00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:50,830 but I'm giving this toast tomorrow night, 196 00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,702 and it's kind of a big honor. 197 00:08:52,703 --> 00:08:56,566 And it would mean so, so much to me if you came, 198 00:08:56,567 --> 00:08:58,868 so I hope you can. 199 00:08:58,869 --> 00:09:00,269 (Gossip girl) Careful, v. 200 00:09:00,270 --> 00:09:02,812 Don't send out your invitations just yet. 201 00:09:02,813 --> 00:09:05,214 We hear another girl has her eyes on the prize. 202 00:09:05,215 --> 00:09:08,918 Montesquieu, Churchill, Hobbes... 203 00:09:08,919 --> 00:09:11,220 I'm thinking my toast should touch on... 204 00:09:11,221 --> 00:09:13,222 Tradition, virtue, 205 00:09:13,223 --> 00:09:14,984 the divine right of the monarchy. 206 00:09:14,985 --> 00:09:17,587 But, Blair, Vanessa's giving the toast. 207 00:09:17,588 --> 00:09:19,589 Not when I'm done. 208 00:09:19,590 --> 00:09:21,631 Mao, sun-tzu, of course, 209 00:09:21,632 --> 00:09:23,733 napoléon's always good for a few zingers. 210 00:09:23,734 --> 00:09:26,866 Though things are rarely as simple as they appear. 211 00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:30,600 (Telephone rings) This is Josh Ellis. 212 00:09:30,601 --> 00:09:31,941 Oh. 213 00:09:31,942 --> 00:09:35,044 Well I'm thrilled he changed your mind. 214 00:09:35,045 --> 00:09:38,848 Of course we'd still love to have you give the toast. 215 00:09:38,849 --> 00:09:40,850 Yes, there was another girl, 216 00:09:40,851 --> 00:09:42,852 but we hadn't fully committed to her. 217 00:09:42,853 --> 00:09:44,884 We definitely want you. 218 00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:47,317 Great. I'll see you tomorrow, Mr. Ellis. 219 00:09:49,019 --> 00:09:51,590 Good-bye, jet lag. Hello, triple ristretto. 220 00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:52,892 Yes. What was that? 221 00:09:52,893 --> 00:09:54,323 Just a surprise. 222 00:09:54,324 --> 00:09:58,028 And something tells me we're in for a show. 223 00:10:01,171 --> 00:10:03,202 Now, Ms. Waldorf, if this is about 224 00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:05,204 letting you give the freshman toast, 225 00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:09,038 like I told you last week, I'd love to help you out, but... 226 00:10:09,039 --> 00:10:12,211 Actually, Mr. Ellis, I'm here to help you. 227 00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:13,743 Simply put, 228 00:10:13,744 --> 00:10:16,646 Vanessa Abrams is a tired cliché from the 7-1-8. 229 00:10:16,647 --> 00:10:20,690 The preachy "I hate the man" toast she no doubt has in mind 230 00:10:20,691 --> 00:10:23,022 won't inspire the kind of deep-pocket donations 231 00:10:23,023 --> 00:10:25,094 this school needs. 232 00:10:25,095 --> 00:10:27,897 You need a speaker more like, well, me. 233 00:10:27,898 --> 00:10:30,059 Ms. Waldorf, yes, last week I narrowed my search 234 00:10:30,060 --> 00:10:32,902 down to two candidates. But just moments ago, 235 00:10:32,903 --> 00:10:35,865 our first choice, Olivia Burke, accepted our invitation. 236 00:10:35,866 --> 00:10:37,867 Then why does activist Abrams 237 00:10:37,868 --> 00:10:40,039 still think she's giving the toast? 238 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,941 Vanessa was the other student that we were considering. 239 00:10:41,942 --> 00:10:44,874 You see, initially, Olivia wasn't planning on attending, 240 00:10:44,875 --> 00:10:46,876 but then luckily, for everyone, 241 00:10:46,877 --> 00:10:49,819 her new boyfriend convinced her otherwise. 242 00:10:49,820 --> 00:10:52,922 Yes, she is very famous. 243 00:10:52,923 --> 00:10:55,955 Mm-hmm. But she's a 2-quadrant speaker. 244 00:10:55,956 --> 00:10:59,889 Is it smart to lose everyone over 25 on parents' weekend? 245 00:10:59,890 --> 00:11:02,862 Besides, actresses are notoriously unreliable. 246 00:11:02,863 --> 00:11:06,435 Ms. Waldorf, even if Olivia's schedule did change, 247 00:11:06,436 --> 00:11:08,699 Vanessa would still be my next choice. 248 00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:11,200 So... 249 00:11:11,201 --> 00:11:14,173 I'm very busy. 250 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,145 (Door opens) 251 00:11:16,146 --> 00:11:19,378 I'll see you soon, mom. (Snaps cell phone shut) 252 00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:23,252 Oh, no. Mnh-mnh. You are not trying to steal my toast. 253 00:11:23,253 --> 00:11:25,154 Nobody told you. 254 00:11:25,155 --> 00:11:27,917 Olivia, your dear roommate, is giving the toast. 255 00:11:27,918 --> 00:11:29,859 Poor Vanessa. 256 00:11:29,860 --> 00:11:32,091 Always the understudy, never the star. 257 00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:35,324 Olivia's the other girl? (Singsongy grunt) 258 00:11:35,325 --> 00:11:39,869 And I was the one who told Dan to bring her. 259 00:11:39,870 --> 00:11:43,072 Irony certainly can be cruel. 260 00:11:43,073 --> 00:11:45,274 Did I overhear your long-absent mother 261 00:11:45,275 --> 00:11:47,807 is coming to hear you speak? (Whispers) Tragic. 262 00:11:47,808 --> 00:11:50,980 Well, I'll just tell Olivia how much this toast means to me, 263 00:11:50,981 --> 00:11:53,282 and then she'll step down. 264 00:11:53,283 --> 00:11:56,245 Yeah, probably. Though, then again, she might not. Nice try, Blair. 265 00:11:56,246 --> 00:11:59,348 Well, I'm just saying, we all know Olivia loves the spotlight. 266 00:11:59,349 --> 00:12:01,250 She is an actress. 267 00:12:01,251 --> 00:12:05,094 Then I'll ask Dan not to bring her. Another idea with some merit. 268 00:12:05,095 --> 00:12:07,997 See, that's where you and I are different. 269 00:12:07,998 --> 00:12:10,960 I would never put my fate in someone else's hands, 270 00:12:10,961 --> 00:12:14,203 and that's why I always win, and you lose. 271 00:12:14,204 --> 00:12:17,006 So good luck with your honesty. 272 00:12:17,007 --> 00:12:19,839 Maybe you and mom could take in a show instead. 273 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:23,312 (Kish mauve's "I'm in love with your rock 'n' roll" playing) 274 00:12:23,313 --> 00:12:26,977 (Dialing, beep) 275 00:12:29,119 --> 00:12:32,082 ♫♫ 276 00:12:34,524 --> 00:12:36,986 ♫ Glamour girl ♫ 277 00:12:36,987 --> 00:12:40,759 ♫ shiny girl so pretty now ♫ 278 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,132 ♫ and no one knows ♫ 279 00:12:43,133 --> 00:12:45,965 ♫ vacant, their eyes stare at you ♫ 280 00:12:45,966 --> 00:12:51,000 ♫ they notice you, and they cannot go ♫ 281 00:12:51,001 --> 00:12:54,443 ♫ I'm in love with your rock 'n' roll ♫ 282 00:12:54,444 --> 00:12:56,405 (Man) Well, well, well. 283 00:12:56,406 --> 00:12:59,408 Nate Archibald. You looking for a game? 284 00:12:59,409 --> 00:13:02,551 I'm... I'm afraid we... We don't have a seat for you. 285 00:13:02,552 --> 00:13:05,384 Oh, I'm not here to play. She is. 286 00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:08,517 That is unless you're afraid to play a girl. 287 00:13:08,518 --> 00:13:12,062 Buy-in's $25,000. 288 00:13:16,566 --> 00:13:18,998 (Lowered voice) That's a lot of money. 289 00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:21,570 (Lowered voice) So don't lose. 290 00:13:21,571 --> 00:13:23,903 ♫♫ 291 00:13:23,904 --> 00:13:26,575 Pull up a seat, darlin'. 292 00:13:26,576 --> 00:13:30,179 ♫ Take all my soul, baby ♫ 293 00:13:30,180 --> 00:13:34,013 ♫ I'm in love with your rock 'n' roll ♫ 294 00:13:34,014 --> 00:13:36,986 ♫ take your time ♫ 295 00:13:36,987 --> 00:13:38,447 You're kidding, right? 296 00:13:38,448 --> 00:13:40,920 You're the one who told me to invite her. I know. 297 00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:43,392 Remember the whole "people like you better 298 00:13:43,393 --> 00:13:46,996 when they meet your family" thing? Exactly. You don't want to be outshone by your family, 299 00:13:46,997 --> 00:13:50,059 and not to mention, she's been in Japan for ten days. 300 00:13:50,060 --> 00:13:53,432 I mean, she's probably having reverse culture shock. Yeah, okay. All right. 301 00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:56,605 So do you have any, uh, non-insane reasons? Well, I'm just saying, 302 00:13:56,606 --> 00:13:59,268 why don't you do something more casual but also romantic? 303 00:13:59,269 --> 00:14:03,943 Dinner, just the two of you. You can make your special chicken. (Laughs) My special chicken? What? 304 00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:06,045 Vanessa, what is going on? Nothing. 305 00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:08,879 Uh-huh. I need a refill. 306 00:14:14,985 --> 00:14:17,987 Okay, but you have to promise me you won't say anything, 307 00:14:17,988 --> 00:14:20,859 because this officially makes me the worst roommate ever. 308 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,461 Just tell me. 309 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:25,895 Olivia's freaking out about meeting your parents. 310 00:14:25,896 --> 00:14:27,866 What? I-I talked to her, like, two hours ago, 311 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:31,000 and she said she was looking forward to it. I guess she changed her mind 312 00:14:31,001 --> 00:14:33,642 or doesn't want to hurt your feelings. 313 00:14:33,643 --> 00:14:38,107 She just feels that it's way, way too soon. Yeah. You know, I knew... I knew this was gonna happen. 314 00:14:38,108 --> 00:14:40,910 Really? I mean, yeah, of course. And I know this is my fault, 315 00:14:40,911 --> 00:14:43,282 but tell her you want to have a great night, 316 00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:45,985 just the two of you. And make my special chicken? 317 00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:48,118 I'll give you a recipe. (Chuckles) Okay. 318 00:14:49,519 --> 00:14:52,992 Hey, Abrams, thank you for, uh, the heads-up. 319 00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:54,364 What are friends for? 320 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:58,128 (Dan sips) 321 00:15:02,132 --> 00:15:05,134 Trip queens. 322 00:15:05,135 --> 00:15:07,977 It just... it doesn't feel right, 323 00:15:07,978 --> 00:15:10,139 you know, taking a beautiful woman's money. 324 00:15:10,140 --> 00:15:12,181 I'm getting crushed here. Hey, don't worry. 325 00:15:12,182 --> 00:15:15,014 P.j.'s on tilt. This is where you hook him. 326 00:15:15,015 --> 00:15:17,316 Archibald, you want to call it a night? 327 00:15:17,317 --> 00:15:19,388 I can spot you cab fare. 328 00:15:19,389 --> 00:15:22,691 Just get him to bet Carter and remember the tells. 329 00:15:22,692 --> 00:15:26,555 Actually, p.J., we're gonna buy back in. 330 00:15:26,556 --> 00:15:29,398 But we're upping the stakes. 331 00:15:29,399 --> 00:15:30,629 (Mouths word) 332 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:33,302 What are you thinking of playing for? 333 00:15:33,303 --> 00:15:35,364 Yeah, not likely. 334 00:15:35,365 --> 00:15:37,236 How about Carter Baizen? 335 00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:40,469 Ohh. 336 00:15:40,470 --> 00:15:43,442 I get it. You're... you're Carter's girl. 337 00:15:43,443 --> 00:15:46,245 Well, bad news, sweetheart, 338 00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:49,219 Carter's debt is a lot more than you're showing. 339 00:15:51,321 --> 00:15:55,025 You know, can we get some, uh, some privacy? 340 00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:59,558 I tell you what. You bet Carter, 341 00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:01,430 and I'll bet... 342 00:16:01,431 --> 00:16:03,363 A photo of Tripp Van Der bilt... 343 00:16:06,166 --> 00:16:10,639 From the night of his bachelor party. (Chips clink) 344 00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,641 (Lowered voice) Your family will kill you. 345 00:16:12,642 --> 00:16:16,146 That'll cost Tripp the election. (Lowered voice) Like I said, don't lose. 346 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,483 Let's play some cards. 347 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:28,717 I'm sorry to cancel on you like this, Mr. Ellis. 348 00:16:28,718 --> 00:16:31,490 You have a backup speaker, right? 349 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:34,093 Okay. Good. 350 00:16:34,094 --> 00:16:35,724 All right. Uh, good-bye. 351 00:16:35,725 --> 00:16:38,067 (Beep) Everything okay? 352 00:16:38,068 --> 00:16:40,729 Um, Dan has decided to cook dinner for me 353 00:16:40,730 --> 00:16:42,471 instead of going out with his parents. 354 00:16:42,472 --> 00:16:45,274 He probably just wants more one-on-one time. 355 00:16:45,275 --> 00:16:48,637 I'll bet he has something special planned, like chicken. 356 00:16:48,638 --> 00:16:51,180 (Laughs) Yeah. Or something. 357 00:16:51,181 --> 00:16:56,115 Yeah. Um, I brought you this. It's an anime goblin claw. 358 00:16:56,116 --> 00:16:58,647 They are huge in Japan right now. 359 00:16:58,648 --> 00:17:01,720 I just thought it was kind of funny. Thanks. 360 00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:03,522 I shouldn't be freaking out, right? 361 00:17:03,523 --> 00:17:06,725 I mean, I can meet his parents anytime. Yeah. 362 00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:09,728 (Cell phone rings) Um, I'll be right back. 363 00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:12,601 (Whispers) Okay. 364 00:17:12,602 --> 00:17:14,164 (Door opens) 365 00:17:17,567 --> 00:17:21,310 Hi, Mr. Ellis. 366 00:17:21,311 --> 00:17:22,641 Um... 367 00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:26,315 No. 368 00:17:26,316 --> 00:17:28,717 I'd still love to give the toast. 369 00:17:28,718 --> 00:17:30,549 Thank you. (Snaps cell phone shut) 370 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:33,822 Tell machiavelli I hope she enjoys my toast. 371 00:17:33,823 --> 00:17:37,486 Vanessa's giving the toast again. 372 00:17:37,487 --> 00:17:40,229 And she's got some big pink claw thing. 373 00:17:40,230 --> 00:17:43,232 Well, I don't know about that. However, phase one is complete. 374 00:17:43,233 --> 00:17:45,234 But even with Olivia out of the way, 375 00:17:45,235 --> 00:17:47,396 you still don't have the toast. 376 00:17:47,397 --> 00:17:49,398 Oh, my goodness. 377 00:17:49,399 --> 00:17:50,739 You're right. 378 00:17:50,740 --> 00:17:53,342 Thank you, Amalia. 379 00:17:53,343 --> 00:17:56,705 When are you going to learn to have a little faith? 380 00:17:56,706 --> 00:17:57,647 (Dialing) 381 00:17:57,648 --> 00:17:59,478 Chuck, my love, 382 00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:03,152 I was thinking, remember our game from the summer? 383 00:18:03,153 --> 00:18:06,756 Well, I have the perfect target already picked out. 384 00:18:08,718 --> 00:18:10,789 So what's a sweet girl like you 385 00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:14,493 doing with a guy like Carter Baizen, hmm? 386 00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:17,796 You heard what happened to my sister, right? 387 00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:19,598 Heartbroken, 388 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:22,331 30 pounds fatter. 389 00:18:22,332 --> 00:18:24,633 Bet. 390 00:18:24,634 --> 00:18:28,637 ♫♫ 391 00:18:28,638 --> 00:18:29,738 (Chips clink) 392 00:18:29,739 --> 00:18:33,543 $20,000. 393 00:18:46,496 --> 00:18:48,457 All in. 394 00:18:48,458 --> 00:18:51,160 You sure you want to play this hand for Carter? 395 00:18:51,161 --> 00:18:53,602 ♫♫ 396 00:18:53,603 --> 00:18:54,833 Fine. 397 00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:56,466 I'll call. 398 00:18:58,808 --> 00:19:00,610 Kings. 399 00:19:06,576 --> 00:19:08,277 Aces. 400 00:19:08,278 --> 00:19:12,321 You know, a picture really is worth a thousand words. 401 00:19:12,322 --> 00:19:13,882 (Chuckles) 402 00:19:13,883 --> 00:19:15,884 Or in this case, 403 00:19:15,885 --> 00:19:18,187 an election. 404 00:19:18,188 --> 00:19:21,531 (Beep) Nate, thanks for stopping by. 405 00:19:23,193 --> 00:19:26,765 Uh-oh. Looks like Carter's going down to Texas, 406 00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:31,771 and Tripp's career is going up in smoke. 407 00:19:41,711 --> 00:19:43,482 Hey. You made it. 408 00:19:43,483 --> 00:19:45,514 Hey. 409 00:19:45,515 --> 00:19:47,616 Rufus! (Laughs) (Laughs) 410 00:19:47,617 --> 00:19:50,919 Oh! Come here. Would you let me look at you? 411 00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:53,522 Lay off the caffeine, huh? It's giving you wrinkles. 412 00:19:53,523 --> 00:19:56,325 Ah. I'm sorry Arlo couldn't make it. 413 00:19:56,326 --> 00:19:59,498 He says hello. He had to finish installing the solar panels 414 00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:01,500 on the chicken Coop at the co-op. (Chuckles) 415 00:20:01,501 --> 00:20:03,732 We have been so busy organizing the local 72, 416 00:20:03,733 --> 00:20:06,775 the, uh, the union for the burlington cheesemakers. 417 00:20:06,776 --> 00:20:08,277 Aha. Yeah. 418 00:20:08,278 --> 00:20:10,309 Yeah. Mom, this is Lily. 419 00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:13,912 Oh, it is such a pleasure to finally meet Vanessa's mother. Gabriela. 420 00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:16,685 Oh, Rufus... (Laughs) We're not in Brooklyn anymore. 421 00:20:16,686 --> 00:20:19,948 Uh, uh, I'm still moving in. It's Lily's place. 422 00:20:19,949 --> 00:20:23,352 Oh, it is both of our place. 423 00:20:23,353 --> 00:20:25,954 Uh, mom, didn't you bring that for Lily? 424 00:20:25,955 --> 00:20:28,397 (Laughs) Oh, yes, I did. Homemade strawberry rhubarb. 425 00:20:28,398 --> 00:20:29,928 Thank you. Oh. Mmm. 426 00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:34,232 Wow. Well, you and your husband must be so proud of Vanessa. 427 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:36,535 Oh, yes. Vanessa has always been 428 00:20:36,536 --> 00:20:39,237 a very thoughtful and driven young woman. 429 00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,570 This school is the perfect fit for her. 430 00:20:41,571 --> 00:20:43,842 Well... 431 00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:46,275 Here we go. (Chuckles) To be completely honest, 432 00:20:46,276 --> 00:20:49,548 my husband and I don't believe in private universities. 433 00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:52,351 Knowledge should not be for sale. 434 00:20:52,352 --> 00:20:54,423 Well... Well... yes. Oh. 435 00:20:54,424 --> 00:20:55,724 Who's hungry? Lovely. 436 00:20:55,725 --> 00:20:58,687 (The dirty secrets' "strangers" playing) 437 00:20:58,688 --> 00:21:02,030 I must confess, I've missed our little game. 438 00:21:02,031 --> 00:21:04,993 Though it appears your lady is late. 439 00:21:04,994 --> 00:21:08,697 Actually, there she is now. 440 00:21:08,698 --> 00:21:13,672 ♫♫ 441 00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:15,003 She's a guy. 442 00:21:15,004 --> 00:21:17,446 Who took my speech at the freshman dinner 443 00:21:17,447 --> 00:21:19,678 and gave it to Vanessa Abrams. 444 00:21:19,679 --> 00:21:22,411 He double-crossed me, and I... Demand satisfaction. 445 00:21:22,412 --> 00:21:25,514 You still up for it? 446 00:21:25,515 --> 00:21:27,486 Mm, my wonderful man. 447 00:21:27,487 --> 00:21:30,459 I'll just go powder my nose for ten minutes? 448 00:21:30,460 --> 00:21:32,561 I only need five. 449 00:21:32,562 --> 00:21:35,495 ♫♫ 450 00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:41,701 (Clears throat) 451 00:21:45,004 --> 00:21:46,875 Can I help you? 452 00:21:46,876 --> 00:21:48,507 Oh, definitely. 453 00:21:48,508 --> 00:21:51,880 I don't know if p.J. Is not as stupid as he looks, 454 00:21:51,881 --> 00:21:55,384 but, Nate, those tells were wrong. What are you gonna do? 455 00:21:55,385 --> 00:21:59,017 Well, of course I had to tell my grandfather what happened. 456 00:21:59,018 --> 00:22:01,450 I mean, I have completely destroyed 457 00:22:01,451 --> 00:22:05,023 Tripp's political career. No. No, Nate. Let me talk to him. Please. 458 00:22:05,024 --> 00:22:10,359 He needs to know that you were trying to help me. I appreciate that, but I'm not dragging you into this mess. 459 00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:11,660 (Cell phone rings) 460 00:22:11,661 --> 00:22:14,903 Oh, it's William right here. Nate. 461 00:22:14,904 --> 00:22:17,637 No. Serena, I can handle it. Hello, grandfather. 462 00:22:21,611 --> 00:22:22,812 Ugh. 463 00:22:25,475 --> 00:22:27,446 Is, uh, Nate Archibald in there? 464 00:22:27,447 --> 00:22:29,478 He's got a phone call... P.J. Buckley. 465 00:22:29,479 --> 00:22:32,481 Okay. Yeah. I'll tell him. Thank you. 466 00:22:32,482 --> 00:22:34,483 P.j. Thinks he won the picture. 467 00:22:34,484 --> 00:22:38,086 Yeah, I have the real one. 468 00:22:38,087 --> 00:22:44,062 I mean, I feel bad about lying to Serena, but it worked. 469 00:22:44,063 --> 00:22:45,535 Okay. 470 00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:52,671 Gabriela, this strawberry rhubarb jam to die for. 471 00:22:52,672 --> 00:22:55,143 Thank you. It's the agave. I refuse to use sugar. 472 00:22:55,144 --> 00:22:59,448 Mmm. Mm-hmm. Oh, Rufus, will we be seeing Daniel at the dinner? 473 00:22:59,449 --> 00:23:01,480 (Mouth full) I had hoped so, but unfortunately not. 474 00:23:01,481 --> 00:23:04,883 He has a date tonight. (Mouth full) With Vanessa's roommate, Olivia Burke. 475 00:23:04,884 --> 00:23:06,885 Didn't she tell you? Lily. 476 00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:09,718 She is a very famous actress. 477 00:23:09,719 --> 00:23:11,990 I'm afraid I don't worship at the altar 478 00:23:11,991 --> 00:23:15,023 of shallow Hollywood celebrities. Oh. (Chuckles) 479 00:23:15,024 --> 00:23:17,526 But apparently your school does. Mom, can you not do this right now? 480 00:23:17,527 --> 00:23:20,028 Honey, these institutions are businesses first. 481 00:23:20,029 --> 00:23:22,701 I mean, was this girl even qualified to enter... (Cell phone rings) 482 00:23:22,702 --> 00:23:27,105 Or was it purely a publicity stunt? Well, that's my shallow Hollywood roommate... 483 00:23:27,106 --> 00:23:30,479 (Ring) And also one of the nicest, smartest people 484 00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:33,582 I've met at college. Excuse me. 485 00:23:33,583 --> 00:23:36,184 (Ring) 486 00:23:36,185 --> 00:23:38,587 Hey. How is your date? 487 00:23:38,588 --> 00:23:39,519 Great. 488 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:40,989 Dan's making Indian chicken. 489 00:23:40,990 --> 00:23:42,621 Moroccan, actually. 490 00:23:42,622 --> 00:23:46,925 Oh. Uh, look, I know I shouldn't be asking you this. 491 00:23:46,926 --> 00:23:48,697 I was just wondering, 492 00:23:48,698 --> 00:23:51,600 why did Dan change his mind about me meeting his parents? 493 00:23:51,601 --> 00:23:53,462 I must have done something to scare him off. 494 00:23:53,463 --> 00:23:56,965 You can tell me the truth. I promise. No, you didn't do anything. 495 00:23:56,966 --> 00:23:58,467 Well, I must have. 496 00:23:58,468 --> 00:24:00,909 You know what? I'm just gonna ask him. 497 00:24:00,910 --> 00:24:03,141 No! 498 00:24:03,142 --> 00:24:05,774 Look, Dan's parents are just 499 00:24:05,775 --> 00:24:07,876 really judgmental, and they're always going on 500 00:24:07,877 --> 00:24:10,879 about celebrities and the dumbing down of culture. So he's worried 501 00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:14,623 his parents will think I'm some shallow Hollywood pinhead? 502 00:24:14,624 --> 00:24:16,885 No... Like Dan's embarrassed to introduce me to them? 503 00:24:16,886 --> 00:24:20,829 Olivia, Dan just wants to protect you from them. 504 00:24:20,830 --> 00:24:22,591 You know what, Vanessa? 505 00:24:22,592 --> 00:24:26,895 You don't need to make excuses for him, okay? I get it. 506 00:24:26,896 --> 00:24:28,667 I gotta go. 507 00:24:28,668 --> 00:24:32,701 (White lies) ♫ just give me a second, darling ♫ 508 00:24:32,702 --> 00:24:35,774 So where do you get your hair cut? 509 00:24:35,775 --> 00:24:37,906 Oh, uh, trumper's, off piccadilly. 510 00:24:37,907 --> 00:24:40,178 ♫ Just put down those scissors ♫ 511 00:24:40,179 --> 00:24:41,810 Tut, tut. 512 00:24:41,811 --> 00:24:43,652 I'm not that kind of girl. 513 00:24:43,653 --> 00:24:46,084 (Chuckles) Do you have a boyfriend? 514 00:24:46,085 --> 00:24:49,518 Not exactly. 515 00:24:49,519 --> 00:24:51,760 Wait. What for? 516 00:24:51,761 --> 00:24:53,491 Ah. 517 00:24:53,492 --> 00:24:56,795 ♫ ...The rain and the snow, to find you awake ♫ 518 00:24:56,796 --> 00:25:00,799 What the... Mr. Ellis. 519 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,971 Blair Waldorf. Oh, lord. 520 00:25:02,972 --> 00:25:05,604 I-I have to go. 521 00:25:05,605 --> 00:25:08,878 Don't you run away from me. 522 00:25:10,279 --> 00:25:14,212 Hey! Have you no sense of decency? 523 00:25:14,213 --> 00:25:16,785 Well, you got your kiss. 524 00:25:16,786 --> 00:25:19,688 Number 27 on the Tribeca scavenger hunt... 525 00:25:19,689 --> 00:25:22,250 Kiss the Chuck bass. (Laughs) 526 00:25:22,251 --> 00:25:23,792 Check. 527 00:25:23,793 --> 00:25:27,125 I expect more from a representative of a college! 528 00:25:27,126 --> 00:25:30,198 And the toast? Oh, a deal's a deal. It's all yours. 529 00:25:30,199 --> 00:25:31,700 (Sighs) 530 00:25:31,701 --> 00:25:34,703 I should call Vanessa, break the bad news. 531 00:25:34,704 --> 00:25:35,864 Allow me. 532 00:25:35,865 --> 00:25:38,607 We're rivals, but friends at heart. 533 00:25:38,608 --> 00:25:39,838 Until tonight. 534 00:25:39,839 --> 00:25:42,310 Out, you cable-knit queen! 535 00:25:42,311 --> 00:25:44,012 You were late. 536 00:25:44,013 --> 00:25:47,245 I got caught in a text flurry with Dorota. I'm sorry. 537 00:25:47,246 --> 00:25:50,048 I have to get uptown for a dinner. 538 00:25:50,049 --> 00:25:52,220 I assume you're skipping the parents' thing? 539 00:25:52,221 --> 00:25:54,182 I may pop in... 540 00:25:54,183 --> 00:25:57,555 For Vanessa's toast, just for laughs. 541 00:25:57,556 --> 00:25:59,988 Are you upset because you kissed a guy? 542 00:25:59,989 --> 00:26:03,992 I'm upset because I kissed somebody that wasn't you. 543 00:26:03,993 --> 00:26:07,095 You really think I've never kissed a guy before? 544 00:26:07,096 --> 00:26:09,097 Love me? Always. 545 00:26:09,098 --> 00:26:11,701 (Indistinct conversations) 546 00:26:14,073 --> 00:26:17,175 (Dialing, beep) 547 00:26:17,176 --> 00:26:19,247 (Cell phone rings) 548 00:26:19,248 --> 00:26:21,209 (Beep) 549 00:26:21,210 --> 00:26:25,153 Oh, well. I tried. 550 00:26:25,154 --> 00:26:28,316 Hi. 551 00:26:28,317 --> 00:26:29,918 Guess I should, uh, 552 00:26:29,919 --> 00:26:32,160 work on keeping my opinions to myself. 553 00:26:32,161 --> 00:26:33,822 (Chuckles) You think? (Chuckles) 554 00:26:33,823 --> 00:26:37,295 I just wanted to say, tonight I will promise 555 00:26:37,296 --> 00:26:40,028 to keep an open mind about your school, 556 00:26:40,029 --> 00:26:41,900 about everything. 557 00:26:41,901 --> 00:26:43,732 When you hear my toast, 558 00:26:43,733 --> 00:26:47,105 I think you'll understand why this is the right place for me. 559 00:26:47,106 --> 00:26:49,177 Okay. 560 00:26:49,178 --> 00:26:51,279 Come here. 561 00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:53,311 (Chuckles) I hope. (Laughs) 562 00:26:53,312 --> 00:26:56,614 So what do you think about going out to eat tonight? 563 00:26:56,615 --> 00:26:58,987 Or we could just go to the parents' dinner. 564 00:26:58,988 --> 00:27:02,290 Are you sure? I mean, my parents are... are gonna be there. 565 00:27:02,291 --> 00:27:05,694 Well, then I better be on my best behavior. 566 00:27:05,695 --> 00:27:08,026 Pick me up in an hour? 567 00:27:08,027 --> 00:27:09,027 Okay. 568 00:27:09,028 --> 00:27:11,800 As for lonely boy, 569 00:27:11,801 --> 00:27:14,963 I suspect tonight's going to be strictly a family affair... 570 00:27:14,964 --> 00:27:16,335 To remember. 571 00:27:22,772 --> 00:27:25,413 ♫♫ 572 00:27:25,414 --> 00:27:28,718 (Indistinct conversations) 573 00:27:37,757 --> 00:27:40,789 I'll be right back. I just have to find someone. 574 00:27:40,790 --> 00:27:43,061 ♫♫ 575 00:27:43,062 --> 00:27:48,236 Don't you just adore the national arts club? 576 00:27:48,237 --> 00:27:50,769 Ahh. It's so "age of innocence." 577 00:27:50,770 --> 00:27:52,771 Are you looking for Mr. Ellis? 578 00:27:52,772 --> 00:27:56,274 Because he asked me to give you a message. Now what was it? 579 00:27:56,275 --> 00:27:58,747 Oh, you're not giving the toast, 580 00:27:58,748 --> 00:28:01,309 I am, and there's nothing you can do about it. 581 00:28:01,310 --> 00:28:04,212 What are you talking about? I won, like always. 582 00:28:04,213 --> 00:28:08,156 Please... don't do this. 583 00:28:08,157 --> 00:28:10,388 Oh, my god. Are you begging? 584 00:28:10,389 --> 00:28:12,090 My mom is here, 585 00:28:12,091 --> 00:28:15,063 and you have no idea what this speech means for me. 586 00:28:15,064 --> 00:28:18,026 Please. You're embarrassing yourself even more than usual. 587 00:28:18,027 --> 00:28:19,427 When will you learn? 588 00:28:19,428 --> 00:28:23,701 Some people are simply better than others. 589 00:28:23,702 --> 00:28:27,376 ♫♫ 590 00:28:31,340 --> 00:28:33,942 Don't worry. I'm sure they're gonna love you. 591 00:28:33,943 --> 00:28:37,245 Uh-huh. So you think they're gonna want my autograph? 592 00:28:37,246 --> 00:28:39,287 (Chuckles) I-I doubt it. 593 00:28:39,288 --> 00:28:42,150 Dan, what are you doing here? Please. Miss the freshman dinner? 594 00:28:42,151 --> 00:28:46,194 Dad, Lily, this is Olivia. Rufus Humphrey. Dan has told us so much about you. 595 00:28:46,195 --> 00:28:48,056 Oh, that dress is beautiful. 596 00:28:48,057 --> 00:28:51,129 I recognize it from the herve leger show. Oh, yeah? 597 00:28:51,130 --> 00:28:56,034 Except it wasn't on the runway, so that's kind of impossible. 598 00:28:56,035 --> 00:28:58,336 Max azria's, like, one of my best friends. 599 00:28:58,337 --> 00:29:00,738 He does me crazy favors. 600 00:29:00,739 --> 00:29:03,842 ♫♫ 601 00:29:03,843 --> 00:29:06,344 Are you feeling okay? Totes. 602 00:29:06,345 --> 00:29:08,316 So anyone famous here? 603 00:29:08,317 --> 00:29:10,950 I mean, besides me. 604 00:29:14,053 --> 00:29:17,425 ♫♫ 605 00:29:17,426 --> 00:29:20,929 You there. You're one of Blair's new minions, aren't you? 606 00:29:20,930 --> 00:29:23,331 You're Chuck bass. Blair said you weren't coming. 607 00:29:23,332 --> 00:29:25,393 My dinner canceled. The emir had to fly home... 608 00:29:25,394 --> 00:29:27,836 Something about a revolution. Where is she? 609 00:29:27,837 --> 00:29:33,041 Probably getting ready for her toast. Keep up, Bambi. Blair's not giving the toast. 610 00:29:33,042 --> 00:29:35,944 Uh, yes, she is. Mr. Ellis promised if... 611 00:29:35,945 --> 00:29:38,808 Promised what? 612 00:29:49,819 --> 00:29:52,160 (Horns honk) 613 00:29:52,161 --> 00:29:53,321 Nate. 614 00:29:53,322 --> 00:29:56,895 Hey. What are you doing here? Serena. 615 00:29:56,896 --> 00:29:59,898 I heard you talking to your grandfather. 616 00:29:59,899 --> 00:30:02,070 Why would you leak a fake photo? 617 00:30:02,071 --> 00:30:04,903 Are you trying to destroy Tripp's campaign? 618 00:30:04,904 --> 00:30:07,335 No. That's gonna win Tripp the election. 619 00:30:07,336 --> 00:30:11,439 What are you talking about? Once the buckleys leak it, we'll release the real photo. 620 00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:13,311 It's gonna look like 621 00:30:13,312 --> 00:30:14,812 the buckleys planted the fake one. 622 00:30:14,813 --> 00:30:17,085 People are finally gonna see them 623 00:30:17,086 --> 00:30:20,919 as the villains they really are. And what happens to Carter? You... you just used him? 624 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:23,191 Come on, Serena. He proposed to p.J.'S sister 625 00:30:23,192 --> 00:30:25,193 to pay off his gambling debt. 626 00:30:25,194 --> 00:30:27,825 Wake up. The guy's hardly innocent. 627 00:30:27,826 --> 00:30:30,458 (Sighs) But I am sorry I had to lie to you. 628 00:30:30,459 --> 00:30:32,962 No, you're not, but you will be. 629 00:30:36,906 --> 00:30:39,308 Manhattan, New York. P.J. Buckley. 630 00:30:43,472 --> 00:30:45,843 No, I'm doing the Mother Teresa movie. 631 00:30:45,844 --> 00:30:48,476 Yes. Yeah, Leo's playing my boyfriend. 632 00:30:48,477 --> 00:30:50,518 I'm sure she'll be just a second. 633 00:30:50,519 --> 00:30:53,121 Well, let's just meet at your pad in the bu. 634 00:30:53,122 --> 00:30:55,853 The bu... the bu is Malibu. 635 00:30:55,854 --> 00:30:58,626 Oh, yes. You know what? Just give us a moment, please. 636 00:30:58,627 --> 00:31:02,030 Uh-huh. Oh! Wait. I-I gotta go. 637 00:31:02,031 --> 00:31:04,392 I love you, too, bitch. What... what are you doing? 638 00:31:04,393 --> 00:31:07,865 What do you mean? You're referring to the bu, you're calling your astrologer. 639 00:31:07,866 --> 00:31:10,598 Since when do you even have an astrologer? I guess ever since 640 00:31:10,599 --> 00:31:12,971 I became another shallow Hollywood celebrity, 641 00:31:12,972 --> 00:31:15,043 you know, the kind that you are so afraid 642 00:31:15,044 --> 00:31:18,046 your parents wouldn't approve of? What are you talking about? 643 00:31:18,047 --> 00:31:21,879 Vanessa told me that's why you disinvited me. 644 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:24,882 Vanessa? I-I blew this dinner off because Vanessa told me 645 00:31:24,883 --> 00:31:27,355 that you were freaking out about meeting my parents. 646 00:31:27,356 --> 00:31:31,159 What? I never said that. 647 00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:33,992 Oh, my god. 648 00:31:33,993 --> 00:31:36,925 The lips, the teeth, the tip of the tongue. 649 00:31:36,926 --> 00:31:40,898 The lips, the teeth, the tip... (Smacks lips) Of the tongue. 650 00:31:40,899 --> 00:31:43,901 Please tell me you're not coming here to grovel. 651 00:31:43,902 --> 00:31:46,374 You really think you're that much better than me? 652 00:31:46,375 --> 00:31:49,377 Oh, I think we both know the answer to that. (Scoffs) Blair, I have to talk to you. 653 00:31:49,378 --> 00:31:51,039 Not now. Just listen. I... 654 00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:54,012 Quiet! God, I've had just about enough of you. 655 00:31:54,013 --> 00:31:56,044 Sophie, you're Minion number one. 656 00:31:56,045 --> 00:31:57,685 Amalia, you're number two. 657 00:31:57,686 --> 00:32:00,949 So tell me once and for all, what makes you better than me? 658 00:32:00,950 --> 00:32:05,193 Do you really want to know? Yeah. 659 00:32:05,194 --> 00:32:06,454 Everything. 660 00:32:06,455 --> 00:32:08,426 Generations of breeding and wealth 661 00:32:08,427 --> 00:32:10,228 had to come together to produce me. 662 00:32:10,229 --> 00:32:14,062 I have more in common with Marie antoinette than with you. 663 00:32:14,063 --> 00:32:16,934 And granted, you may be popular 664 00:32:16,935 --> 00:32:19,937 at some step-Ivy safety school, but the fact is, 665 00:32:19,938 --> 00:32:22,710 the rabble is still rabble, amd they need a queen. You stole the toast. 666 00:32:22,711 --> 00:32:25,543 I was willing to do what was necessary, 667 00:32:25,544 --> 00:32:27,315 including lying to Chuck, 668 00:32:27,316 --> 00:32:29,647 the one person who trusts me more than anyone. 669 00:32:29,648 --> 00:32:33,021 Now if you'll excuse me, I have to give my toast. 670 00:32:33,022 --> 00:32:34,652 Actually, Blair... 671 00:32:34,653 --> 00:32:37,056 Congratulations. You just did. 672 00:32:41,430 --> 00:32:44,062 (All murmur) 673 00:32:44,063 --> 00:32:45,564 (Murmuring stops) 674 00:32:56,345 --> 00:32:57,976 Oh, no. 675 00:33:04,113 --> 00:33:06,154 Oh, no. Sorry, ladies. 676 00:33:06,155 --> 00:33:07,685 Le jeux sont fait. 677 00:33:07,686 --> 00:33:10,059 Thanks for playing... Each other. 678 00:33:13,992 --> 00:33:16,564 I know I shouldn't have lied. It's just when Mr. Ellis 679 00:33:16,565 --> 00:33:19,697 asked Olivia to give the toast instead of me... Wait. You were the other girl? 680 00:33:19,698 --> 00:33:22,400 Wait a second, you were supposed to give the toast? 681 00:33:22,401 --> 00:33:25,403 Why didn't you tell me? I wanted to surprise you with this nice toast about being here 682 00:33:25,404 --> 00:33:30,278 with your parents, and... and then you disinvited me. Well, I did that because you lied to me. 683 00:33:30,279 --> 00:33:33,541 Why couldn't you just tell me you wanted to give the toast? 684 00:33:33,542 --> 00:33:37,385 I mean, I would have given it to you. I know. I let Blair convince me if I asked, you'd say no. 685 00:33:37,386 --> 00:33:39,717 When I called and asked why Dan didn't want me 686 00:33:39,718 --> 00:33:42,390 to meet his family, you said it's because they looked down 687 00:33:42,391 --> 00:33:45,022 on Hollywood people like... And they probably do now, you know. 688 00:33:45,023 --> 00:33:48,596 I mean, you were... You were pretty annoying. I am so sorry. I substituted my awful family 689 00:33:48,597 --> 00:33:52,560 for his amazing one. I love Rufus and Lily, 690 00:33:52,561 --> 00:33:56,105 and I wish they were my parents. Vanessa? 691 00:34:01,210 --> 00:34:04,572 I just want to wish you luck. 692 00:34:04,573 --> 00:34:06,715 Mom. 693 00:34:09,618 --> 00:34:11,779 ♫♫ 694 00:34:11,780 --> 00:34:13,452 Chuck? 695 00:34:15,454 --> 00:34:17,325 Chuck is gone. 696 00:34:17,326 --> 00:34:20,528 But I need to talk to him. I need to explain. 697 00:34:20,529 --> 00:34:22,760 Blair, whatever you needed him to do, 698 00:34:22,761 --> 00:34:25,833 do you really think he would have refused you? 699 00:34:25,834 --> 00:34:27,296 No. 700 00:34:28,667 --> 00:34:31,740 He'd never say no... To anything. 701 00:34:33,472 --> 00:34:35,473 I messed up, didn't I? 702 00:34:35,474 --> 00:34:37,745 Yes. Yes, you really did. 703 00:34:37,746 --> 00:34:39,747 Lily, you're supposed to say, 704 00:34:39,748 --> 00:34:41,749 "everything is going to be fine." 705 00:34:41,750 --> 00:34:45,353 Where did you learn how to give a pep talk... Guantanamo? 706 00:34:45,354 --> 00:34:48,756 Blair, I understand a thing or two about ambitious women, 707 00:34:48,757 --> 00:34:51,319 but without trust, you're lost. 708 00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:53,361 Let Chuck lick his wounds. 709 00:34:53,362 --> 00:34:55,624 You can talk to him tomorrow. 710 00:35:04,873 --> 00:35:08,476 (Carter) Serena. 711 00:35:08,477 --> 00:35:11,809 You came. 712 00:35:11,810 --> 00:35:13,611 Mmm. 713 00:35:13,612 --> 00:35:16,314 I'm sorry for all the things that I said to you 714 00:35:16,315 --> 00:35:18,115 at the wedding. 715 00:35:18,116 --> 00:35:20,788 I deserved them. Um, look, Serena, I'm leaving tomorrow. 716 00:35:20,789 --> 00:35:22,390 No, you're not. 717 00:35:22,391 --> 00:35:24,452 I settled your debt with the buckleys. 718 00:35:24,453 --> 00:35:26,854 What? 719 00:35:26,855 --> 00:35:28,696 How? 720 00:35:28,697 --> 00:35:30,798 It's a long story, but... 721 00:35:30,799 --> 00:35:35,132 I helped p.J. Avoid a very public fiasco. 722 00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:38,135 Nate probably hates me now, but it doesn't matter. 723 00:35:38,136 --> 00:35:39,837 You can stay. 724 00:35:39,838 --> 00:35:43,171 I didn't ask for you to save me. I wanted to. 725 00:35:43,172 --> 00:35:45,543 Serena, this was my debt to settle, not yours. 726 00:35:45,544 --> 00:35:48,676 If that means I have to go work on... Work on an oil rig? 727 00:35:48,677 --> 00:35:51,179 Carter, I wasn't gonna allow that to happen. 728 00:35:51,180 --> 00:35:53,781 You have nothing to prove to the buckleys. 729 00:35:53,782 --> 00:35:55,783 I wasn't proving it to them. 730 00:35:55,784 --> 00:35:57,885 I was proving it to you, to myself. 731 00:35:57,886 --> 00:36:00,889 I wanted to take responsibility for what I did. 732 00:36:03,562 --> 00:36:05,293 I have to go. 733 00:36:05,294 --> 00:36:07,695 No. 734 00:36:07,696 --> 00:36:10,738 I saw the way you looked at me at the wedding, 735 00:36:10,739 --> 00:36:13,871 and I see the way that you're looking at me now. 736 00:36:13,872 --> 00:36:16,704 I think I'd rather... Have you hate me 737 00:36:16,705 --> 00:36:18,846 than feel sorry for me. 738 00:36:18,847 --> 00:36:20,709 (Voice breaks) Please. 739 00:36:28,687 --> 00:36:29,857 Mom. 740 00:36:29,858 --> 00:36:32,220 Please. 741 00:36:32,221 --> 00:36:33,861 (Voice breaks) I'm so sorry. 742 00:36:33,862 --> 00:36:37,194 Vanessa, we are so hard on you 743 00:36:37,195 --> 00:36:40,368 because we want you to challenge yourself to be your own person. 744 00:36:40,369 --> 00:36:43,731 Are we really wrong to... to question your decision 745 00:36:43,732 --> 00:36:45,603 to attend college here? 746 00:36:45,604 --> 00:36:48,736 I think it's time 747 00:36:48,737 --> 00:36:52,881 for you to consider who this place is turning you into. 748 00:37:03,492 --> 00:37:05,653 Your parents hate me. I hate me. 749 00:37:05,654 --> 00:37:08,256 We'll just explain what happened. You'll be fine. 750 00:37:08,257 --> 00:37:10,558 Maybe she's different when they're alone. Ahem. 751 00:37:10,559 --> 00:37:12,430 Maybe she's totally different. Ahem. 752 00:37:12,431 --> 00:37:16,233 (Rufus) Oh, hey. (Chuckles) We missed you guys. Yes, very much. 753 00:37:16,234 --> 00:37:19,267 (Under breath) Oh, god. Dan, was that Blair on the P.A.? 754 00:37:19,268 --> 00:37:21,609 She really should have run that speech past someone. Uh, yeah, you know, I'll... I'll... I'll get to that, 755 00:37:21,610 --> 00:37:23,641 but, uh, before, when Olivia was, 756 00:37:23,642 --> 00:37:27,575 I don't know, I guess she was being all Hollywood... Oh, what? 757 00:37:27,576 --> 00:37:31,519 I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, my god. I have to explain. I'm so sorry. 758 00:37:31,520 --> 00:37:33,521 (Josh) Ladies and gentlemen, 759 00:37:33,522 --> 00:37:35,353 it's time for this year's freshman toast, 760 00:37:35,354 --> 00:37:38,856 and it's my honor to call upon Olivia Burke. 761 00:37:38,857 --> 00:37:40,658 What? 762 00:37:40,659 --> 00:37:43,661 (Chuckles nervously) I was not expecting this. 763 00:37:43,662 --> 00:37:47,665 Olivia, can I get a picture? Me, too. 764 00:37:47,666 --> 00:37:49,968 (Olivia) Oh, sure. Um... 765 00:37:58,276 --> 00:37:59,777 Nice try, ladies. 766 00:37:59,778 --> 00:38:02,580 You came out swinging but never stood a chance 767 00:38:02,581 --> 00:38:04,952 against a Hollywood heavyweight. 768 00:38:04,953 --> 00:38:07,615 Why did we do all this? You tell me. 769 00:38:07,616 --> 00:38:09,818 (Amplified voice) Hi. I'm Olivia Burke. 770 00:38:14,323 --> 00:38:17,695 (Elevator bell dings) Okay, Dan, the humiliation has got to end, 771 00:38:17,696 --> 00:38:20,828 it'll be fine this time. I promise. I hope. 772 00:38:20,829 --> 00:38:23,000 (Jenny) Hey. There you are. 773 00:38:23,001 --> 00:38:25,373 Hi. I'm Jenny. 774 00:38:25,374 --> 00:38:28,536 It's nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you. 775 00:38:28,537 --> 00:38:30,738 So, uh, do you really know Leo? 776 00:38:30,739 --> 00:38:34,342 Um, it was just a joke to lighten the mood. (Laughs) 777 00:38:34,343 --> 00:38:37,345 Mr. and Mrs. Humphrey, I'm really sorry about yesterday. 778 00:38:37,346 --> 00:38:39,747 Dan, already explained everything. Let's talk toppings. 779 00:38:39,748 --> 00:38:42,590 We have whipped cream, strawberries, chocolate chips. 780 00:38:42,591 --> 00:38:45,092 (Jenny) And, uh, does anyone want coffee? 781 00:38:45,093 --> 00:38:46,755 Jenny, wait. Um... 782 00:38:48,727 --> 00:38:50,858 My "welcome back, kotter" mugs. 783 00:38:50,859 --> 00:38:53,631 Yes, well, it wouldn't be our home without them. 784 00:38:53,632 --> 00:38:55,903 Olivia, you get the, uh, Vinnie barbarino. 785 00:38:55,904 --> 00:38:58,866 You know, Travolta has, uh, a set of these. 786 00:38:58,867 --> 00:39:01,769 He got really upset when I accidentally cracked 787 00:39:01,770 --> 00:39:04,772 his Freddie "boom-boom" Washington. 788 00:39:04,773 --> 00:39:07,615 I'm just kidding. (Laughs) Hey, let's eat. 789 00:39:07,616 --> 00:39:09,577 (Laughs) Oh. 790 00:39:09,578 --> 00:39:11,749 Oh, you weren't kidding, were you? 791 00:39:11,750 --> 00:39:13,381 No. 792 00:39:13,382 --> 00:39:15,854 (Knock on door) 793 00:39:18,457 --> 00:39:21,389 What do you want, Blair? 794 00:39:21,390 --> 00:39:23,861 Forgiveness. 795 00:39:23,862 --> 00:39:25,863 (Whispers) I'm so sorry, Chuck. 796 00:39:25,864 --> 00:39:28,766 (Normal voice) I made a mistake. 797 00:39:28,767 --> 00:39:32,801 I know there's no excuse, but... it was just a kiss. 798 00:39:34,803 --> 00:39:39,747 The people you manipulate... 799 00:39:39,748 --> 00:39:43,851 I know how little respect you have for them. 800 00:39:43,852 --> 00:39:47,785 But not you. I don't feel that way about you. 801 00:39:47,786 --> 00:39:50,919 And I won't ever do it again. I promise. 802 00:39:53,662 --> 00:39:56,393 (Whispers) It was a mistake. I'm in a meeting. 803 00:39:56,394 --> 00:39:57,865 Call you later? 804 00:39:57,866 --> 00:40:01,870 (Edward sharpe and the magnetic zeros' "home" playing) 805 00:40:08,737 --> 00:40:11,178 ♫ I follow you into the park ♫ 806 00:40:11,179 --> 00:40:14,011 ♫ through the jungle, through the dark ♫ 807 00:40:14,012 --> 00:40:17,114 ♫ girl, I never loved one like you ♫ 808 00:40:17,115 --> 00:40:18,886 ♫ moats and boats ♫ 809 00:40:18,887 --> 00:40:21,649 Hey, mom. I'm at the place. I ordered you a croissant. 810 00:40:21,650 --> 00:40:24,652 (Gabriela) Oh, honey, thank you, but I'm already on the road. Oh. 811 00:40:24,653 --> 00:40:27,995 Yeah, it's such a long drive, and I wanted to get an early... No, I get it. 812 00:40:27,996 --> 00:40:30,758 And I can't leave your dad alone too long. 813 00:40:30,759 --> 00:40:32,760 Yeah, t-tell dad I said hi. 814 00:40:32,761 --> 00:40:35,132 I will. Love you. 815 00:40:35,133 --> 00:40:37,064 Me, too. 816 00:40:37,065 --> 00:40:39,667 ♫ Like it's only you and me ♫ 817 00:40:39,668 --> 00:40:43,511 When it comes to family, we're all still children at heart. 818 00:40:43,512 --> 00:40:47,845 ♫ Home, let me come home ♫ 819 00:40:47,846 --> 00:40:50,618 ♫ home is whenever I'm with you ♫ 820 00:40:50,619 --> 00:40:51,819 Yes. 821 00:40:51,820 --> 00:40:54,822 ♫ Oh, home, let me go home ♫ 822 00:40:54,823 --> 00:40:55,853 Hey. 823 00:40:55,854 --> 00:40:57,825 No matter how old we get, 824 00:40:57,826 --> 00:41:02,089 we always need a place to call home. 825 00:41:02,090 --> 00:41:06,033 Because without the people you love most... 826 00:41:06,034 --> 00:41:07,235 ♫ hey! ♫ 827 00:41:10,499 --> 00:41:14,202 You can't help but feel all alone in the world. 828 00:41:15,704 --> 00:41:19,777 ♫ La la la la, take me home ♫ 829 00:41:19,778 --> 00:41:24,913 ♫ mama, I'm coming home ♫ 830 00:41:27,215 --> 00:41:29,987 You want it? 831 00:41:29,988 --> 00:41:32,090 ♫ Hey! ♫ 832 00:41:35,524 --> 00:41:39,096 ♫ Huh! ♫ 833 00:41:39,097 --> 00:41:40,568 Thanks. 834 00:41:40,569 --> 00:41:42,730 ♫ La la la la, take me home ♫ 835 00:41:42,731 --> 00:41:45,733 Fortunately, misery loves company... 836 00:41:45,734 --> 00:41:47,805 Well, for now at least. 837 00:41:47,806 --> 00:41:50,879 X.o.x.o., gossip girl.