Your one and only source into the scandalous lives
of Manhattan's elite. Blair, ever since you walked into the gallery last week,
is it too weird to think that maybe fate brought us
the guy from "the Paris review"? Which story? The one about Chuck bass.
You said you couldn't write that story. No, I could always write it. I-I chose not to.
You should do your own clothing line.
I can model them. Max will do some photos.
(Jenny) It's too late. It's done.
And who am I?
That's a secret I'll never tell.
You know you love me.
X.o.x.o., gossip girl.
You're in for a real treat, son.
I even amazed myself with this bolognese.
I'm amazed at how calm you're acting.
Your 15-year-old daughter's moved in
with her crazy model friend. And with the model's mother, whom I met today for lunch.
Granted, Agnes' mother's more Courtney love than June cleaver,
but she's a committed parent,
and she's gone through similar phases with Agnes.
She promises to call every day, so Jenny's safe.
You're gonna act like you're cool with it
so she chooses to come home instead of being forced.
Well, that's, uh, that's risky, but I like it. I hope it works.
Yeah.
So you ready for the best sauce ever? Uh, you know, actually,
I can't stay. I'm gonna meet shapiro, and I know you don't
agree with me writing a story about Chuck and his mother...
He's writing me the recommendation for Yale. Congratulations.
I'm happy for ya.
I'm happy for you and your sister both.
(Scoffs) Well, I'm glad you're a musician
and not an actor, dad, 'cause our family would have starved.
Save me some cold pasta?
I'll leave it on the stove for you.
All right.
(Door opens)
Though it seems like just yesterday
Serena and I were 8 and playing dress-up
in my mother's vintage manolos,
my 18th birthday has finally arrived. (All giggle)
The party needs to be perfect, so blood orange Martinis
or beluga and Belvedere? Why don't we make different drinks tonight
and do a taste test? Oh, I can't. I'm meeting my mother's new boyfriend.
(Gasps)
Even moms have boyfriends, and I don't.
(Cell phone alert chimes) Cyrus has been one of my mom's attorneys since the divorce.
He asked her out when they first met,
but she didn't wanna mix business with pleasure. (Beeping)
Finally, his amorous overtures wore her down,
and she agreed to dinner. She's been smitten ever since.
Oh, that's so romantic.
One thing my mom has is good taste in men.
Maybe a dashing stepdad is just what I need.
Speaking of good taste in men, how's the sexy artist, Serena? (Cell phone alert chimes)
Oh, uh, Aaron's amazing.
He's been sending me these maps to the most beautiful places.
The other day I ended up in a private room in the cloisters
overlooking the gardens. Spare them the details, Serena.
Hazel will kill herself from envy. (Laughter)
(Cell phone alert chimes) Oh, this is him again. I gotta go.
What? What about my party?
Blood orange Martinis all the way.
You girls have been getting a lot of press.
And I'm the face of the line
and the brains behind the operation.
Who do you imagine your client will be? Girls like us.
Sophisticated girls with a bit of edge who can afford
high-end product, and I know these girls and their style
because I'm their peer, so that's what makes me unique
as a designer. Hmm. What's the name of the label?
ViXen dresses, inc. J. Humphrey designs. We haven't fully decided yet,
clearly, but, uh, it really doesn't matter,
'cause we're just here to take the work to the next level.
Definitely, which means finding a clear vision for the brand.
Which since fashion is a designer-based industry,
and I'm a designer, that brand would be me.
No, the brand is the concept, which we both came up with. Agnes, can we just talk
about this later when we're alone, please?
No, we're gonna talk about this now.
I mean, if Mr. Smith here wants to represent us,
then he should know who he's dealing with. Except Mr. Smith
might get the wrong idea about our professionalism. Well, then cut the crap
and start acting professional
instead of putting on the Jenny show.
Me? Agnes, look at who's acting out yet again
in another business meeting. You wanna see acting out?
And yet another one bites the dust, Agnes.
What is the matter with you? This guy was our last chance.
Okay, he totally overreacted. I mean, we're artists.
We need to work with somebody who's not gonna be freaked out
by a little bit of passion. Passion? You know the heat from the fashion show's
not gonna last that long. Okay, Jenny,
I will find us another business manager tomorrow.
Good, because until we get one, we can't meet with any buyers.
Yes. Okay? Now it's all gonna work out, all right?
And I'm on it.
(Sighs)
Dorota. Dorota!
Hurry up. Cyrus will be here any minute.
He is the most attractive, brilliant man I have ever met.
Darling, you're gonna love him.
I kind of already do. I'm so excited to meet him.
I told you to put the roses on the table next to Cyrus' seat.
Cary Grant always looked his best with white roses.
Dorota, are you insane?
I don't know.
You used the everyday China.
Cyrus will think we're just common upper middle class.
Go get the objet, and hurry up. (Elevator bell dings)
Yes, miss Blair. Ah, Eleanor, you look like a goddess.
That must be his driver. And you're more handsome than ever.
Oh. Mmm. (Kisses)
Not enough! (Laughs)
(Eleanor) Mm! (Kisses)
Darling, come meet Cyrus Rose.
The lovely Blair.
Come here!
Not enough! (Laughs)
Happy 20th anniversary for bass industries.
Surprised you remembered.
Not only did I remember, I got you something.
You once told me that you snuck
into hockey games as a kid, sat in the back row.
You bought a box for the season?
I thought you could revisit your childhood passion in style.
We can go to rangers games together, hang out.
Well, nice gesture, but, uh, misguided as usual.
I don't have time for hockey games. You know that.
I always knew you had chops, Humphrey.
Here's your letter. Have a seat.
Thank you, sir. Thank you so much.
Don't thank me yet. There's more to come.
Meet James wolf, senior editor at "New York magazine."
Oh, it's nice to meet you. Shapiro took the Liberty of showing me your piece.
I'm very interested.
Oh, well, I'm, uh, I'm flattered.
"New York magazine" doesn't normally publish fiction.
It's not really fiction, though, is it?
I told James the trout character
is based on Chuck bass, son of Bartholomew.
It's the 20th anniversary of bass industries.
We want an exposé on the man behind the company.
You dated the stepdaughter. You know the son.
Yeah, look, the last thing I need is Bart bass as an enemy.
Yeah, and I'm really not the undercover type.
If you're afraid of the man's wrath,
we won't print your name, but if your reporting's
if I milk him for information and you print it,
he's... he's gonna know it came from me.
We'll only print something if it's true and can be verified.
If the man's clean, the story goes away.
If he's not, well, that's on him, isn't it?
You just grew a pair, Humphrey.
Don't lose them now.
This opportunity could open real doors for you.
(Cell phone alert chimes)
(Laughing)
What? How did you do that? I mean, it's amazing, but why?
Well, you know, I've shown you
the most beautiful places I know,
and now I'm showing the beautiful places you. (Giggles)
This is nothing, though. I want you to pose for me.
Will you?
Sure, I-I guess.
Yes! (Laughs) Yes.
I can't believe this.
(Kings of Leon) ♫ talking ♫
♫ you ♫
♫ your sex is on fire ♫
Spotted... s. And a. Bringing sexy back to Times Square.
Move over, Disney.
42nd street is steaming up.
Serena, I called you, like, ten times last night.
Where have you been? I went to the dentist at lunch, and yesterday
I met Aaron in Times Square.
B., it was the most romantic thing. Who cares about plaque or pretentious artists
when your best friend's having a meltdown?
He's totally unsuitable. Who is?
Cyrus. He's 5 feet tall.
He has a catchphrase, and he's a hugger.
I was expecting Cary Grant, and I got Danny devito.
(Cell phone alert chimes) That sounds, um... awful.
Um, sorry. I gotta run. Oh, Aaron?
Yeah. He asked me to pose for him in his studio,
to be his muse.
And you said yes? Why not? It's romantic.
No, it's a death trap. Being the muse never works out.
Plenty of women have been both lover and muse
to famous artists, like Picasso.
Serena, a guy starts out in his blue period,
and everything's great, but it's only a matter of time
before he's all into cubism,
and it's some other girl's eye coming out of her forehead. Okay, I'm gonna go.
Wait! No, what about the gnome? I have to take him down.
B., enough already. You always said you wanted to be
an elegant woman at 18 like grace Kelly.
You're right.
I'm going to be an adult. I'll try and tolerate him.
Good girl.
Well, this has been great.
Mr. Bass, thank you for answering my questions.
Anything for a friend of Serena's. As I mentioned, I'm just...
I'm kinda over the writing thing,
and I wanna see what else is out there.
Um, you're easily the most successful person I know,
so I figured why not at the top, right?
Yeah, I was hoping that I might be able to shadow you
for just a few days a week after school. I'm a busy man, Daniel.
I don't think that's gonna be possible.
Yeah, of course. I don't want to impose.
It's just, um... You know, uh...
Well, my dad... His world is pretty narrow.
You know? He may have had a hit song in the '90s,
but he didn't build half the Manhattan skyline.
(Chuckles) Your father's a fine man, but, um,
I can see how you'd want something more.
(Sighs) Why don't we start with two days a week?
That's, uh, that's more than enough. Thank you.
♫♫
Agnes, it's 3:00. I have been waiting up for you
at the apartment since 8:00 this morning.
Will you lower your voice?
Your high-pitched shrill is not helping my pounding head.
Excuse me? Um, waitress, can I get, um, a revive? Thank you.
Where the hell were you? I went out with Max last night,
and then we ran into some friends,
and it was really good. You should have come.
Then you should have answered your phone
or at least turned it on
so that you could hear the 50 messages I left you. What are you, my mother?
No, Agnes, I am your partner! And you promised
that you'd find us a new business manager today.
And I will do it on Monday or today,
if my hangover ever wears off. Do you understand how much I've given up for this?
Yes.
No, Agnes, you don't.
I left home.
I quit my job,
and my dad... He basically hates me.
You need to chill.
Take a Xanax or a Tequila shot or something.
(Gagging)
(Coughing)
Hi. This is Jenny Humphrey. I'm calling for Scott Smith.
Yeah, I know. I met with him yesterday.
Well, again, thank you for your time.
It's been a pleasure, Dan. Listen, do you like hockey?
Uh, sure, yeah. I was thinking maybe I could give you a business primer
over a ranger game Tuesday night.
Chuck, what are you doing here?
I'm sorry, sir. I told him you were in a meeting.
I came by to have Robert clear your schedule for the game.
Apparently you already have a date.
What are you doing here?
Well, I'm, uh, I'm newly interested
in the construction business. I thought...
I thought your dad could show me the ropes.
I was just leaving. Thank you, Mr. Bass.
$18 a flower? That's absurd.
Yeah, yeah, it, uh, it is a bit steep.
Yeah. I'm an attorney, and I'm telling you,
you're not paying for that peony.
You're paying for the florist's Madison Avenue rent.
(Under breath) I am grace Kelly. Grace Kelly is me.
Blair, I would love
for your birthday, but would you allow me
to buy them someplace else?
I mean, it's the principle of the thing.
I prefer to get my own peonies from my own florist,
but thank you so much.
Well, Eleanor, over dinner,
you mentioned your fondness for cyndi lauper.
Mom and I love cyndi lauper.
We used to re-enact "girls just want to have fun."
Our first DVD was "vibes." Oh!
(Laughs) Well, I got tickets to see cyndi lauper at Joe's pub
tomorrow night, and that way, your mother and I
will be out of your hair for the party. My mother's coming to my party.
What?! You never want me at your parties. This year is different.
I'm 18, and it's a grown-up party.
I e-mailed Dorota a new guest list.
Parents are invited. Well, we'll return the tickets.
No, nonsense, nonsense. Blair and I will celebrate
her birthday on her real birthday next week.
We are going to see cyndi lauper!
Aah! (Laughs)
Mmm! (Makes cooing sounds)
Thank you so much for giving me another chance.
My, uh, ex-partner had some issues,
so I've completely severed all ties with her. I'm glad to hear it.
I'd be delighted to work with you alone. Really?
That's amazing. I'm sure we can get started on the incorporation right away.
Uh, you are 18, aren't you?
Actually, no, I'm 15.
That's not a problem, though, is it? No, no, not at all.
We just have to get the papers signed by a parent,
uh, but that's simple, and then we're good to go. Awesome. Yeah, no problem.
(Sighs)
Uh, you can stand right here.
Okay.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
So... um, tell me, uh, when you're ready.
I've been practicing my poses.
Okay, zoolander. Just give me a second.
So... so what is it that you want?
You want, like, a little bit of this?
Or, like, you know, some of this?
I don't know. (Laughs)
Uh... how about, um, how about a little less?
You know, uh, try being still. Try... nothing.
Okay.
Um... you can try that.
(Kings of Leon) ♫ and the phone lines are down ♫
♫ snow is crackling cold ♫ you can't hide your face. That's no good.
I don't know what to do.
Can you say something?
Okay, okay. Put your head up here.
Put your feet up. Really enjoy yourself.
Okay. There you go. Look over here.
♫♫
(Camera shutter clicking)
That's too close. Get outta here. It's not too close.
Gillian, Chuck bass.
I never thought I'd hear from you again.
Frankly, neither did I. Are you still an intern
at "New York magazine"? Yeah. Why?
What do you know about a guy named Dan Humphrey? Nothing,
except he's about to walk into a meeting with my boss.
I have to go. I'll call you back.
Did Brooklyn boy really think
he could Bury the bone in the backyard
and no one would find it? Every bass will have his day.
Now how many muses come over in the morning bearing breakfast?
Oh, my gosh. You must have stayed up all night making that.
Pretty much.
Oh. What do you think?
It's beautiful.
It's also kind of weird, maybe.
Not... not that it's weird, but it makes me feel that way,
you know, seeing myself...
Like this. (Laughs)
(Giggles)
I kinda like being your inspiration.
Good. Get used to it.
(Giggles)
Uh, no, actually, you're right on time.
Serena, this is Danielle. She models for me.
Hey, I thought modeling was our thing.
I'm... I'm doing a series.
I should go.
No, you don't have to.
Yeah. No, I do. Um, I have this thing that I forgot about
that I, um, I'm gonna do. Oh, can I have this coffee?
Yes, yes. Have... Have the coffee.
(Cell phone beeps)
Noah, it's Dan.
You know how I told you it might take a while
to get anything good on bass? Well, turns out the story's
not gonna take as long to crack as we thought.
You have glow, miss Eleanor, like Chinese lantern.
(Scoffs and chuckles) Well, it's love, Dorota.
How can you possibly love Cyrus?
He does all the things you hate.
He uses the wrong fork. He slurps his soup.
He wears sports socks. He's short and pushy.
He's nothing like daddy.
Which is precisely why I like him.
Harold was lovely in a million ways,
but he... he had his secrets.
Cyrus is someone I can trust.
Before I go see cyndi lauper,
I have to go pick up my dress at barneys.
I have to get my hair done. Would you like to come with? No, thanks. But have fun.
(Sighs)
(Cell phone beeps) Screw grace Kelly. I need to scheme.
Oh, no. That tiny man must have some big secret I can exploit,
and with his trusting nature,
finding it out shouldn't be too hard.
Hey.
You're Humphrey? I wasn't expecting a kid.
Well, I'm sorry to disappoint, but no one else is showing up.
So if you got information, I'm right here.
All right, in '87, your friend bass
bought a building in midtown to convert to condos.
The market crashed,
and he couldn't raise the funds to complete it.
So wouldn't you know? That building burned down.
Are you saying it wasn't an accident? Kinberg building.
Bass collects the insurance.
He goes on to build an empire.
It was just like in "all the president's men."
Yeah, and I'm thinking there's no way this could be legit,
but all of the facts check out... The date, the building,
the fire, the insurance, even.
And you're happy about this? It's... it's huge.
Bart bass, an arsonist? This article could change my life.
It could also change Serena's life, Lily's life,
their whole family's.
I know, all right? And I feel badly about that,
but if this is true, then people have the right to know.
Noah says all I need now is for me to get a statement from Bart. By tricking him into telling you information
so you can exploit it. Dad, I'm writing an important story
for a quality publication.
Why can't you just admit this is a good thing for me?
(Cell phone rings)
Hello, Alison.
Jenny asked you to sign what papers?
All right, thanks for having my back on this.
Talk to you later. You and I are gonna talk more.
Now I have to go find Jenny.
(Door opens and closes)
(Classical music playing)
My mom is so happy. I've never seen her like this.
Your mother is a diamond
in an ocean of coal.
(Chuckles)
From the moment we met, I knew she was the one.
Have you always been so romantic?
Like, with your ex-wife?
Certainly not.
Actually, I've only felt like this once before in my life.
♫♫
Tell me about it.
Well...
You know, Alice and I were very young when we got married.
We were very fond of each other but never passionate.
And then I got drafted. I was sent to Vietnam.
And I fell deeply in love
with a vietnamese girl named Kim-ly.
It means "golden lion."
How feline.
(Chuckles) Go on.
Oh, I knew I could never stay married to Alice
if I could feel a passion like that for somebody else.
And I planned to bring Kim-ly back to America.
But first, I had to go back by myself and...
End my marriage.
While I was breaking the news to Alice,
Kim-ly was killed
in a surprise attack on her village.
She died?
Yeah.
So I was devastated.
But I always knew in my heart
that what I'd felt for Kim-ly was true love.
And I think I was too much of a romantic
to stay forever in a loveless marriage.
So ultimately, uh, Alice and I parted as good friends.
Wow.
I'd always hoped I could feel something like that again,
and now I have with your mother.
So...
Yeah. My prayers have been answered.
♫♫
Aaron. Hey, it's me.
(Aaron) Oh, hey, what's up? Well, it's... it's such a beautiful day,
I was thinking I could take you
to one of my favorite spots for a change.
Have you ever been to the old puppet theatre in central park?
That sounds great, but I'm still in the studio with Danielle.
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. Are you still working?
No, no. We're just hangin'.
Can, uh, we do the puppet thing tomorrow?
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
Looks like b.'S prophecy came true.
(Sighs)
One day you're a muse. The next, you're old news.
(Knocks on door)
The caterers done setting up downstairs?
Yes.
And what about you, my sneaky daughter?
Are you done yet?
What do you mean?
Cyrus told me that you had lunch together,
and he was very touched.
Of course, he doesn't know yet
that you have an agenda for absolutely everything.
I don't know what you're talking about.
(Exhales deeply) Blair...
You're not a child anymore.
But you can't help it, can you?
You can't stop meddling and scheming. Let me guess...
You played nice
so that you could dig up some dirt on Cyrus.
But it didn't work, did it?
Because he is
the most upstanding man I have ever met.
Sorry, mom.
It turns out that Cyrus is just like daddy.
He cheated on his ex-wife. He had an affair.
He fell in love with her.
I'm sorry.
It's true.
You can ask him yourself.
(Sighs)
(Cell phone rings) Yeah?
(Woman) This is Scott Smith's office
calling for Jenny Humphrey. Well, this is Agnes Andrews.
Oh, I'm sorry. I must have mixed up your phone numbers.
I'm about to see Jenny right now.
Is there something you want me to tell her? Please let her know
the contracts are ready for j. Humphrey designs.
(Scoffs) I'll give her that message.
(Cyndi lauper) ♫ woke up to the clock ♫
♫ time to be aware, time to just be there ♫
♫ you go, go, go, go ♫
There's a totally cute guy over there. (Penelope) The busboy?
Beggars can't be choosers. (Scoffs)
How's your totally cute boyfriend, Serena?
Oh, he... he's not exactly my boyfriend.
You mean he's free?
Hazel, I can hear your desperation from the other room.
(Blair) Serena, what's wrong?
Oh... (Grunting)
Well...
I think you were right.
The whole muse thing kinda backfired.
Well, I would say I told you so,
but since I'm now 18, I'll refrain. What happened?
Well, we had this amazing night.
I modeled for him, and he did this incredible installation.
He totally loves you. (Sighs)
But then another girl showed up at the studio,
and she modeled for him,
and they've been hanging out all day.
So Pablo's already moved on? That was faster than I thought. Blair.
It's okay, s. It's actually a good thing. Mm.
This way, you can get out before you're in too far. (Scoffs)
Oh, hey. Oh, you just missed your dad.
He was ringing the buzzer for an hour. (Door shuts)
My dad? Hmm.
Wait, what are you doing with my dresses?
You know, when I let you in, I had no idea
you'd be such a little thief... Stealing my contact list
and our whole business. I wasn't stealing, Agnes...
You know, you think you're so talented and unique, don't you? No, I don't.
You know, three weeks ago, you were absolutely nothing.
You were a little intern pinning my hem.
It was my idea to do the fashion line.
I found the photographer and the models
for the fashion shoot. It was also my idea
for the guerilla fashion show, and I have all the contacts!
I know. You're right, okay? You're right.
Just give me my dresses, please.
Do you know how many "talented" artists there are
living in Brooklyn designing dresses? Agnes, give me my dresses! What are you doing?!
These dresses are as much mine as they are yours.
Now they belong to nobody. Are you totally insane?
Yes, I'm insane, Jenny!
(Kings of Leon's "be somebody" playing)
What are you doing? Agnes? Don't!
Agnes, please!
These dresses are everything! They're my entire future!
(Sobbing) You are out of your mind!
♫♫
What the hell did you do, Agnes?!
You did this! Now by the time I get back,
I want you and your crap out of my apartment.
(Continues sobbing)
Well, it was good to see you.
Ha. The mythical Serena.
Oh, you must be Cyrus,
Eleanor's boyfriend. How did you know who I was?
Well, I recognized you from Aaron's studio.
You know Aaron?
He's my son!
Wh... (Laughs)
Oh, my goodness.
You didn't catch the family resemblance?
(Laughs) No, it's okay.
You know, I think he's quite smitten with you.
Really? Uh, I'm not so sure.
Well, he told me that he took you to the cloisters.
He definitely doesn't do that with just anyone.
You know, I'm actually gonna go stop by his studio
to see him now, but it was really nice meeting you.
Likewise.
Oh, Eleanor. Did you cheat on your ex-wife?
Well, did you?
Is it true? Yes, it is.
Get out.
I-I thought he was...
Different.
I-I have to go lie down.
(Penelope) There are so many hot guys here.
My god. Look at that guy.
Cyndi lauper?
(Chuckles nervously) What are you doing here?
My pal Cyrus called me yesterday.
He bought out my gig and asked me
to play this girl's birthday party instead.
I guess he's madly in love with her mother.
I'm looking for a Blair Waldorf.
(Laughs nervously)
(Laughs) How do you do?
Make yourself at home.
I... oh!
Dorota!
Oh, my. Miss lauper!
Wait! Miss Blair, where are you going?
I wanted a Harry Winston choker for my birthday.
Instead, I got a conscience.
I gotta go.
Sorry to bother you at home, sir.
What was it you wanted to speak to me about?
Uh, well, um, something kind of strange happened
while I was at your office.
I-i-i overheard this guy talking about you to an employee.
He said... he said that you were responsible for a fire
in one of your own buildings. He had a lot of details.
I figured there must be some kind of explanation,
you know, if it even happened, which, uh, I'm sure it didn't.
And look, I know it's none of my business. I'm sorry.
But he was so insistent, I figured if he was telling
people at work, he... he could be telling other people, too.
So it's out.
I've had that man's death on my conscience for 20 years.
Wait. Someone died?
Dad, don't say anything else.
He's writing a story for a magazine.
So what's it gonna cost to make this go away?
I don't want your money.
If you use this against my father, I will destroy you.
Chuck, what happened is bigger than you hating me
or me trying to make it as a writer.
I couldn't ignore this if I wanted to.
It will ruin our family.
Don't do it.
Please.
You're still here.
I sent my driver to dinner because I thought
I'd be at the party ringing in your birthday.
You threw in the towel rather easily.
I expected a harder fight.
I'm smart enough to know that getting into a war
with Eleanor's daughter
is never gonna result in a victory.
So you retreated with dignity.
Who says I gave up?
Oh, my god.
You outmaneuvered me.
You deliberately let me win, counting on the fact
that cyndi lauper would prey on my emotions.
I'm a lawyer. I do think a few moves ahead.
Some of us can't rely entirely on our looks, you know.
Well done.
Not enough.
Fine. You're a genius.
You better be good to my mother, or I'll be coming for you.
Those are fair terms.
Now come upstairs and stand next to me
while I tell my mom the whole truth about the golden lion.
She'll be furious with me, so I may need an attorney.
Oh!
Oh.
Y-you're not what I had in mind.
Well, you're not what I had in mind.
(Youth group) ♫ I've lived in this town for 13 years ♫
♫ I've been around ♫
♫ you see that window in that tower ♫
(Man) Sir?
This was left for you with the concierge downstairs.
♫ Under that fluorescent light where I made cold calls ♫
♫ through the night to houses deep ♫
♫ in suburbs I will never go ♫
♫ then in Chinatown ♫
♫ I get something and hang around ♫
♫ how does that buster ♫
♫ know each day from the next? ♫
♫ See that man who just brushed past me? ♫
I'm sorry I'm interrupting your "work."
Serena, I thought I was seeing you tomorrow.
Excuse me. Right, because you're seeing Danielle tonight.
Well, I'm seeing a lot of people.
You and I just started hanging out, okay?
Did I miss a talk where we decided to be exclusive? No, but...
Look, I don't know how it works in high school,
but I like to date more than one person at once.
You're free to see other people, too. Well, thank you for the condescending lecture,
but that's not really my thing.
♫ What is a life ♫
♫ and I will ♫
(Sighs) Hey, dad.
Can I come in?
Of course you can, Jenny. This is your home.
I'm happy to have you back. I'm not back yet,
but I will be if you sign these papers.
You mean the papers your mother already refused to sign?
She only refused because she didn't want
to get in the middle. And here I thought you'd come to your senses.
You don't even have your coat off, and you're already using
if I sign this paper, it means that everything
you've done up to now...
This lying, cheating, manipulation...
It's all okay.
And if you don't sign it, then everything I've done...
Everything... is all for nothing.
I won't put my name on a piece of paper
condoning who you've become.
Fine. Then I'll just have to find another way.
What other way? You gonna sleep on Agnes' couch
till you turn 18? If that's what it takes.
(Crying)
Poor little orphan Jenny.
Looks like she needs a daddy warbucks.
But daddy warbucks don't grow on trees...
At least not on a tree that grows in Brooklyn.
(Beeping)
Mr. Smith? Hi.
Yeah, sorry to bother you on a Sunday.
Um, is there any way that we can meet at your office today?
(Knock on door)
Can I come in?
I can't stop you.
(Sighs)
I want to apologize, son.
Apologize?
I never blamed you for your mother's death.
I read that short story that, uh,
Dan Humphrey wrote about you and your mother.
I had no idea you felt that way.
It's my fault.
I know I've had trouble being close to you.
But it's not for the reasons you think.
It's just hard because...
Every time I look at you,
I see her.
You miss her. You have no idea.
I've made some terrible mistakes in my life,
but I don't want to make another.
I want to know my son.
(Sniffles)
So any, uh, interest in going to that hockey game?
I'll, uh...
Clear my calendar.
(Man) ♫ eyes watch constellations on the rise ♫
I spoke to your sister.
My, uh, plan didn't exactly pan out.
I heard. She called me.
You've been thinking about that story on Bart bass?
Uh, yeah.
I took your advice and killed it.
You saved that family.
♫ The air up here ♫
I think it's time you saved ours, dad.
It's so important to you to be right.
That's a trait I inherited. I'd be the first to say it.
But you... you need to get Jenny back,
even if it means letting her win.
♫ You are a shooting star ♫
So... What's the urgent question?
Neither of my parents will sign the papers.
Um, what else can I do?
Well, you have one other option, but it's extreme.
You could file a suit to become emancipated. What's that mean?
You'd be empowered to be your own guardian.
Your legal ties with your family would be severed.
You mean divorce my parents?
Okay. What do I need to do?
Well, I can't believe Aaron is Cyrus' son.
Of course, you get the prince, and I get stuck with the toad.
Well, it doesn't look like I'm gonna have
the fairy tale ending.
I went to have a talk with Aaron yesterday. And?
Instead, he had a talk with me.
I really tried to deal with the casual dating thing... (Scoffs)
But I guess it's just not for me. Of course not, because beneath that free spirit facade,
you're totally conventional, just like I am. It's not a facade.
I-I believe in freedom, people following their hearts,
doing what they want.
You know I always wish I'd lived in the '60s.
You believe in long hair, peasant skirts and sandals,
but you in an open relationship? I don't think so. Speaking of relationships,
how are you faring with Cyrus and Eleanor?
Well, he's not exactly my cup of tea,
but he makes my mother happy, and... (Eleanor) Yes.
He's not that bad. Well, I'm proud of you.
It's not like I have to see him that often.
He'll come to pick her up for dinner once, twice a week. (Laughing)
Have to go. Bye.
(Cell phone beeps) Darling, we have some wonderful news.
Thanks to you, Blair,
we've been up all night talking about love
and death and the brevity of life.
And we have decided that he should move in today.
Some surprises hit you over the head like a squash racket.
(Elevator bell dings)
What are you doing here? I'm picking you up for an afternoon of puppet theater
in the park. But we broke up last night, remember?
Wait, how did... how did we break up if we're not going out?
Thanks for reminding me. That feels good.
Serena, I-I really like you.
Even though I grew up on the Upper East Side,
I don't want the same life that my parents had...
Social obligations and forced conversations,
saying no to all the things that I wanted to say yes to.
I thought you felt the same way.
And if I was wrong, I-I apologize.
No.
No, you were right.
Uh, wait. What are you doing?
Oh. And sometimes the biggest surprises
are the ones you spring on yourself.
Come on.
(Kings of Leon) ♫ feels like you're dyin' ♫
Scampering about in a slip is one way to shed old skin.
But will embracing free love
be as easy as flinging off a pair of fendi flats?
Looks like someone's going barefoot in the park.
X.o.x.o., gossip girl.