1 00:00:03,734 --> 00:00:07,777 Into the scandalous lives of Manhattan's elite. Gossip girl was right. I'm gay. 2 00:00:07,778 --> 00:00:10,140 Every time mom brought home someone who said, "I love you," 3 00:00:10,141 --> 00:00:13,113 they would end up married. I'm not ashamed of who I am. I may have concealed things 4 00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:16,186 in the past, but not anymore. The bad news is that your girlfriend Catherine is 5 00:00:16,187 --> 00:00:19,389 a lying, manipulating whore who's sleeping with her stepson. 6 00:00:19,390 --> 00:00:24,023 The good news is that I convinced them both 7 00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:26,556 I actually think he's pretty cool. The only person 8 00:00:26,557 --> 00:00:29,629 with fewer friends than you is Dan Humphrey, and that's 9 00:00:29,630 --> 00:00:32,532 because he's something you'll never be... a human being. 10 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:35,365 And who am I? 11 00:00:35,366 --> 00:00:38,568 That's a secret I'll never tell. 12 00:00:38,569 --> 00:00:40,570 You know you love me. 13 00:00:40,571 --> 00:00:46,646 X.o.x.o., gossip girl. 14 00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:49,519 There's nothing quite like Autumn in New York, 15 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:52,082 but it's not only the leaves that change. 16 00:00:52,083 --> 00:00:55,455 Something in the air brings out the true colors in everyone. 17 00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:57,727 Why are you all so quiet? 18 00:00:57,728 --> 00:00:59,389 Good morning. 19 00:00:59,390 --> 00:01:00,790 (White apple tree) ♫ distant sleep ♫ 20 00:01:00,791 --> 00:01:03,493 Bart, you're back early. My last round of meetings 21 00:01:03,494 --> 00:01:06,336 wrapped up sooner than expected. Rushing home to the family. 22 00:01:06,337 --> 00:01:08,168 How long's this layover? 23 00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:11,101 Didn't Lily tell you? I'm here for the long haul. 24 00:01:11,102 --> 00:01:13,103 And just in time for our housewarming party 25 00:01:13,104 --> 00:01:16,306 tomorrow night. Um, I've been meaning to ask you. 26 00:01:16,307 --> 00:01:18,178 Uh, can we bring friends? Of course, dear. 27 00:01:18,179 --> 00:01:21,611 Oh, um, did you get the little suit that I laid out for you, 28 00:01:21,612 --> 00:01:23,613 Serena? That was for me? 29 00:01:23,614 --> 00:01:25,685 I thought the housekeepers got new uniforms. 30 00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:28,688 Yeah, it's conservative, yes, but classic. 31 00:01:28,689 --> 00:01:32,292 Bart brought it from Paris. It had its own seat on his plane. 32 00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:34,594 Bart bought me a suit? New watch. 33 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:38,098 Cash... direct deposit into one of my offshore accounts. 34 00:01:40,231 --> 00:01:42,402 Now that we are all here, 35 00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:44,434 Lily and I have something we want to discuss. 36 00:01:44,435 --> 00:01:47,177 As tomorrow's party marks our debut as a family, 37 00:01:47,178 --> 00:01:49,709 we've been talking about what that actually means. 38 00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:51,781 Less money for me when you die? 39 00:01:51,782 --> 00:01:54,884 We were thinking more along the lines of some guidelines. 40 00:01:54,885 --> 00:01:57,147 Guidelines? For what? 41 00:01:57,148 --> 00:02:00,220 For life together. I mean, now that we're all here, 42 00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:03,523 having some rules would be nice. Like what? 43 00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:06,696 Like every Friday, we dine as a family. Uh, don't you think Monday would be... 44 00:02:06,697 --> 00:02:10,129 A weekend curfew of 1:00 A.M. is that eastern or pacific? 45 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,762 And no going out on school nights. What? 46 00:02:12,763 --> 00:02:18,868 Are you serious? All right, all right. 47 00:02:18,869 --> 00:02:22,212 We are in complete agreement on this matter. Yeah, I'm sure. 48 00:02:22,213 --> 00:02:24,315 (Sighs) 49 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:32,752 Medicine cabinet, bedside table, underwear drawer? 50 00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:35,385 It's borderline solicitation, v., and... and, uh, creepy. 51 00:02:35,386 --> 00:02:38,688 It wouldn't be creepy if you'd actually read the flyer. You're on a mission 52 00:02:38,689 --> 00:02:41,191 to save Dutch Schultz's favorite speakeasy. 53 00:02:41,192 --> 00:02:43,193 But what are you protesting? The... the owner died, didn't he? 54 00:02:43,194 --> 00:02:46,165 He did, which is why the whole building's up for auction. 55 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,468 And if we don't stop the sale, it won't be long before 56 00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:51,841 some evil developer turns it into a pain quotidien. Oh, I like le pain... 57 00:02:51,842 --> 00:02:55,305 Okay, we're doing a petition for landmark status... Uh, which you signed 58 00:02:55,306 --> 00:02:57,847 and dad signed and mom signed... 59 00:02:57,848 --> 00:03:00,780 And... and Eleanor Waldorf. How about I come to school with you 60 00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:04,714 and hand out flyers to the guilty rich? Well, if there is such a thing, 61 00:03:04,715 --> 00:03:07,717 I d... I don't think there's any in my school. Well, maybe one of their mommies or daddies 62 00:03:07,718 --> 00:03:10,490 is looking for their next cause. Hmm. 63 00:03:10,491 --> 00:03:13,763 Whose bag is that? That's a soccer ball. Oh, yeah, apparently, half the soccer team at st Jude's 64 00:03:13,764 --> 00:03:17,597 got mono from making out with Lauren goldenberg... Ew. 65 00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:21,701 So I-I guess their only other option was to ask me to try out. 66 00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,903 Wait. They asked you? (Laughs) 67 00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:26,436 Yeah, well, Nate did. I'm now an alternate. 68 00:03:26,437 --> 00:03:28,438 I'm also really, really late. 69 00:03:28,439 --> 00:03:30,280 Uh, you with me? 70 00:03:30,281 --> 00:03:31,981 Yeah. 71 00:03:31,982 --> 00:03:34,884 (Sighs) Well, uh, good luck with the guiltless rich. 72 00:03:34,885 --> 00:03:39,249 What's next, no TV until after you finish your homework? They're just a few rules, Serena. 73 00:03:39,250 --> 00:03:41,251 Who watches TV on a TV anymore anyway? 74 00:03:41,252 --> 00:03:43,653 It's not about the rules, Eric. It's about mom. 75 00:03:43,654 --> 00:03:45,955 When it's just the three of us, it's fine, 76 00:03:45,956 --> 00:03:51,401 but anytime she gets a new guy, she stepfords out 77 00:03:51,402 --> 00:03:56,235 remember when we had to move to chamonix 78 00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,637 but what about paolo... 79 00:03:57,638 --> 00:03:59,769 The raw food diet? Family colonics? 80 00:03:59,770 --> 00:04:02,912 Or sameer? I know I enjoyed our brief conversion to islam. 81 00:04:02,913 --> 00:04:06,476 I see what you mean. Look, mom can't let these guys choose her life for her 82 00:04:06,477 --> 00:04:08,478 because they shouldn't be able to choose ours. 83 00:04:08,479 --> 00:04:10,480 It seems different this time. 84 00:04:10,481 --> 00:04:11,881 She seems pretty serious 85 00:04:11,882 --> 00:04:15,254 about making the whole family thing work with Bart. 86 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,886 We could at least try, right? Fine. 87 00:04:16,887 --> 00:04:18,888 But the second he starts to call the shots, 88 00:04:18,889 --> 00:04:21,661 these gloves come off and the nails come out. 89 00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:24,535 I just mixed metaphors, didn't I? Yeah, but it kind of worked. 90 00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:30,540 And the coach is really impressed with your tryouts. Really? 91 00:04:30,541 --> 00:04:34,404 Yeah. Thanks for subbing in. Well, save your thanks until after you see me play. 92 00:04:34,405 --> 00:04:36,876 It's gonna be... Humphrey, never a pleasure. 93 00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:41,781 Oh, good. We agree on something. Archibald, isn't it about time you ended this bromance? 94 00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,983 What happens at Yale stays at Yale. 95 00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,686 Hey, man. Let's go. 96 00:04:47,888 --> 00:04:51,621 Poor Chuck. What is life without a friend to share it? 97 00:04:51,622 --> 00:04:54,794 Oh, it looks like you just lost yours to Dan Humphrey. 98 00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:58,768 Who cares? I'd rather talk about who you lost yours to anyway. 99 00:04:58,769 --> 00:04:59,999 Unh-unh-unh. 100 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,672 Been there, done that, been decontaminated. 101 00:05:02,673 --> 00:05:05,835 We both know you'll do it again. It's just a question of when. 102 00:05:05,836 --> 00:05:07,837 The answer is never. 103 00:05:07,838 --> 00:05:09,479 We're inevitable, Waldorf. 104 00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:12,482 Despite whatever vestigial attraction 105 00:05:12,483 --> 00:05:15,415 my body may feel for you, my brain knows better. 106 00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:17,747 And yours should, too. I gotta go. 107 00:05:17,748 --> 00:05:23,423 I've got a disciplinary hearing. Well, I knew you were trouble, but a hearing? 108 00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:24,395 Impressive. 109 00:05:24,396 --> 00:05:26,326 Oh, it's not for me. 110 00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:32,462 Kelsey, Kelsey, Kelsey, how many times must we tell you? 111 00:05:32,463 --> 00:05:34,964 As one of the girls of the steps, 112 00:05:34,965 --> 00:05:38,007 you represent constance royalty. So it should come as no surprise 113 00:05:38,008 --> 00:05:40,740 that many girls before you have gotten the ax 114 00:05:40,741 --> 00:05:43,373 when their choices reflected poorly on us. 115 00:05:43,374 --> 00:05:46,045 I didn't realize... That tights are not pants? 116 00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:48,017 Honestly. Blair, you got a minute? 117 00:05:48,018 --> 00:05:50,119 60 seconds. Clock it. 118 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:52,121 What are you doing here with those? 119 00:05:52,122 --> 00:05:54,123 Shouldn't you be at whole foods? 120 00:05:54,124 --> 00:05:56,986 As much as I hate these words coming out of my mouth, 121 00:05:56,987 --> 00:06:00,460 I could really use your help with this. Oh, saving a teardown. 122 00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:03,593 Charity is for diseases and endangered species. 123 00:06:03,594 --> 00:06:06,596 Real estate is not on the list, at least not in New York. 124 00:06:06,597 --> 00:06:09,869 I can make you help me, you know? 125 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,501 Oh, it makes jokes, too. 126 00:06:11,502 --> 00:06:13,903 Everyone knows that you and Marcus broke up, 127 00:06:13,904 --> 00:06:16,546 but no one knows why. 128 00:06:16,547 --> 00:06:19,008 Even you wouldn't stoop that low. 129 00:06:19,009 --> 00:06:22,011 (Chuckles) Blackmail seems to work so well for you, 130 00:06:22,012 --> 00:06:24,383 so maybe I'm missing out. 131 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,056 Now that we've established that I own you, 132 00:06:27,057 --> 00:06:29,659 you have six hours to get a thousand signatures 133 00:06:29,660 --> 00:06:32,893 and make sure they're legible. Have fun. 134 00:06:43,534 --> 00:06:45,935 Well, well. Look who's playing by the rules, 135 00:06:45,936 --> 00:06:49,408 and it's not even a school night. Eric convinced me. What about you? 136 00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:52,812 I'm on my way out to a house call. 137 00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:54,584 Ugh. Gross. 138 00:06:54,585 --> 00:06:56,986 Well, as long as you're home by 1:00. 139 00:06:56,987 --> 00:06:58,918 Naive Serena. 140 00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,520 Don't you know 141 00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:03,453 Bart and lil's list of rules doesn't apply to me? 142 00:07:03,454 --> 00:07:06,125 What are you talking about? According to my sources, 143 00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:08,558 the real reason my father flew back early 144 00:07:08,559 --> 00:07:11,831 is to court some executives in town from the midwest. 145 00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:14,063 The only problem is, they won't do business 146 00:07:14,064 --> 00:07:17,166 with anyone who doesn't share their family values, 147 00:07:17,167 --> 00:07:19,539 so Bart is making sure we do... 148 00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:21,210 Or appear to. 149 00:07:21,211 --> 00:07:25,144 Wait. All this just so he can close a deal? 150 00:07:25,145 --> 00:07:28,117 I do my best work off the radar, 151 00:07:28,118 --> 00:07:30,119 but while you're on "page six" 152 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:32,181 with the Poppy liftons of the world, 153 00:07:32,182 --> 00:07:34,754 you're the bigger threat to Bart's business. 154 00:07:34,755 --> 00:07:36,455 Night, sis. 155 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,530 I hope your book is captivating. 156 00:07:42,132 --> 00:07:44,464 (Elevator bell dings) 157 00:07:52,773 --> 00:07:54,173 Hi, Bart. 158 00:07:54,174 --> 00:07:57,476 We missed you at family dinner. Maybe next time. 159 00:07:57,477 --> 00:08:00,780 Where do you think you're going, and in that dress? 160 00:08:00,781 --> 00:08:04,914 Oh, the girls and I thought we'd hit up 1oak, then maybe bijoux, 161 00:08:04,915 --> 00:08:07,887 and I don't know... anywhere we can find some paparazzi. 162 00:08:07,888 --> 00:08:10,621 I'm in the mood for a little show tonight. 163 00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:19,829 Oh, I forgot to put on underwear. 164 00:08:19,830 --> 00:08:21,602 (Elevator bell dings) 165 00:08:25,976 --> 00:08:27,807 Waving a white flag, are we? 166 00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:30,109 Not exactly. 167 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:32,511 I have a proposition for you. 168 00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:36,285 I'll say yes. That little troll Vanessa is working my last nerve. 169 00:08:36,286 --> 00:08:40,519 Not what I expected. And then I realized this could benefit both of us. 170 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,952 You had me until "troll." 171 00:08:42,953 --> 00:08:45,955 Dan stole your best friend. Now you can steal his. 172 00:08:45,956 --> 00:08:47,927 Seduce and destroy. 173 00:08:47,928 --> 00:08:51,060 What's in it for me? The thrill of the impossible. 174 00:08:51,061 --> 00:08:54,804 The only person Vanessa loathes more than me is you. 175 00:08:54,805 --> 00:08:58,538 It would be one for the ages. 176 00:09:02,773 --> 00:09:05,645 Maybe you're not up for it. 177 00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:09,249 If memory serves, you've had some mechanical problems. 178 00:09:12,222 --> 00:09:14,624 I'll just imagine she's you. 179 00:09:14,625 --> 00:09:17,627 This just in... (Clink) 180 00:09:17,628 --> 00:09:20,129 Blair Waldorf and Chuck bass 181 00:09:20,130 --> 00:09:24,595 placing a wager on the takedown of lonely boy's b.F.F. 182 00:09:26,937 --> 00:09:29,599 We think we've heard this story before, 183 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:35,676 and we're pretty sure it ended up with everyone dead. 184 00:09:46,016 --> 00:09:52,622 So what did Lily have to say 185 00:09:52,623 --> 00:09:56,727 let them discipline the sibling that actually deserves it. You mean Chuck? 186 00:09:58,168 --> 00:10:00,269 What? You smiled. 187 00:10:00,270 --> 00:10:03,272 No, I didn't. I hate Chuck. Don't make me lose my appetite. 188 00:10:03,273 --> 00:10:05,935 Oh, hey. Is that Eric? 189 00:10:05,936 --> 00:10:08,237 Hey, uh, Larissa said you'd be here. 190 00:10:08,238 --> 00:10:11,681 Hey. And we are? Who is this? 191 00:10:11,682 --> 00:10:13,743 Jonathan, this is my sister, Serena, 192 00:10:13,744 --> 00:10:15,885 and her friend, Blair Waldorf. 193 00:10:15,886 --> 00:10:18,688 This is Jonathan, my boyfriend. 194 00:10:18,689 --> 00:10:20,820 It's nice to meet you both. Nice work, e. 195 00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:23,222 Oh, my gosh. Hi. So nice to meet you. 196 00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:25,224 Sit down, both of you. 197 00:10:25,225 --> 00:10:27,296 I invited him to the party tonight, 198 00:10:27,297 --> 00:10:30,259 but I thought you should meet him first. Yeah, I met Chuck the other day. 199 00:10:30,260 --> 00:10:32,261 Chuck. Wow. Hear that, Blair? 200 00:10:32,262 --> 00:10:33,703 Chuck. 201 00:10:33,704 --> 00:10:35,905 Ignore her. She's dehydrated. 202 00:10:35,906 --> 00:10:38,267 Did I miss something? No, but we did... 203 00:10:38,268 --> 00:10:42,812 The story of how you two met. We want to know everything. So then the ball came to me, 204 00:10:42,813 --> 00:10:45,775 and so I kicked it to this guy, and then... and then, you know, 205 00:10:45,776 --> 00:10:47,416 he kicked it to another guy, an he kicked it to another guy 206 00:10:47,417 --> 00:10:49,819 and then that guy scored, 207 00:10:49,820 --> 00:10:54,884 so, you know, it was basically an assist. Wow. 208 00:10:54,885 --> 00:10:58,688 I mean, pretty soon you're gonna have actual guy friends. What are you talking about? 209 00:10:58,689 --> 00:11:01,861 I have plenty of guy friends. Dan, I know that you're Mr. Soccer now, 210 00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:05,234 but you and I both know you prefer to hang out with girls. 211 00:11:05,235 --> 00:11:08,167 Vanessa, Serena, once upon a time. 212 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:10,369 It's nothing to be ashamed of. Except that it's completely untrue. 213 00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:14,373 Okay. Dad, will you please tell Jenny that... that I have guy friends? 214 00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:17,376 Of course he does. I'm his... No, not including you. 215 00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:19,208 Or Cedric? Not including dolls. 216 00:11:19,209 --> 00:11:22,281 Okay, watch and learn. 217 00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:24,814 Nate. Hey, man. Hey, it's Humphrey. Dan. 218 00:11:24,815 --> 00:11:26,816 Yeah, good. Good. Hey, listen. 219 00:11:26,817 --> 00:11:29,819 Uh, you want to hook up for some soccer later? 220 00:11:29,820 --> 00:11:33,062 You're... you're... You're by the park, right? 221 00:11:33,063 --> 00:11:37,166 Noon, yeah. Sweet, bro. All right. I love it. Bye. 222 00:11:37,167 --> 00:11:40,099 Apparently, uh, we're gonna play soccer later. 223 00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:42,301 Uh-huh. No big. 224 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,904 Is Cedric invited? Jenny. 225 00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:46,936 Hmm. Come on. 226 00:11:46,937 --> 00:11:49,979 Thank you, dad. You know, Cedric would get dirty. 227 00:11:49,980 --> 00:11:53,182 (Laughs) (Rufus) And then Dan would have to bathe him. 228 00:11:53,183 --> 00:11:55,284 All right, I'll see you two later. 229 00:11:55,285 --> 00:11:58,347 I got my boy waiting for me. 230 00:11:58,348 --> 00:12:01,991 (Indistinct conversations) 231 00:12:01,992 --> 00:12:04,994 Great turnout, v. I got a good feeling. 232 00:12:04,995 --> 00:12:06,255 Let's hope so, Horace. 233 00:12:06,256 --> 00:12:08,899 Here come the sharks. 234 00:12:17,808 --> 00:12:20,840 What the hell are you doing? You mean you have to ask? 235 00:12:20,841 --> 00:12:23,372 I'm here because of you. Thank you for introducing me 236 00:12:23,373 --> 00:12:27,416 to this unique business opportunity. No. Unh-unh. You are not buying this place 237 00:12:27,417 --> 00:12:29,979 to turn it into another yuppie fusion bar. 238 00:12:29,980 --> 00:12:32,521 For your information, since I bought victrola, 239 00:12:32,522 --> 00:12:35,754 bass industries has expanded into vintage entertainment. 240 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:39,028 We're willing to work with you. Thanks, but we're already petitioning for landmark status. 241 00:12:39,029 --> 00:12:41,931 Why don't you have a bake sale while you're at it? 242 00:12:41,932 --> 00:12:44,964 In the real world, we are your only hope. 243 00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:47,366 Endorse our bid, and we promise to return this place 244 00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:49,498 to all its sweet sordidness. 245 00:12:49,499 --> 00:12:52,471 It sounds perfect. Just one problem... I know you. 246 00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:55,975 Or do you only think you do? (Man) Hey, get outta here, rich boy! 247 00:12:55,976 --> 00:13:00,049 (Man) Ooh! Wow. I didn't think that suit could get any worse. 248 00:13:00,050 --> 00:13:02,252 I was wrong. 249 00:13:04,815 --> 00:13:07,417 (Engine starts) 250 00:13:13,793 --> 00:13:16,065 I think that's... Oh, Serena, wait a minute. 251 00:13:16,066 --> 00:13:19,929 Would you excuse us, please? Thank you. So what's my punishment? 252 00:13:19,930 --> 00:13:22,471 Don't be childish. Why not? You're treating me like one. 253 00:13:22,472 --> 00:13:25,975 Isn't that who curfews are for? Well, you're certainly living up to our expectations. 254 00:13:25,976 --> 00:13:27,436 According to Bart, 255 00:13:27,437 --> 00:13:29,208 you went out looking like a stripper last night. 256 00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:32,581 If you have a problem with our rules, then just say so, 257 00:13:32,582 --> 00:13:35,044 but to simply defy us... Not you, him. 258 00:13:35,045 --> 00:13:39,218 Bart and I are husband and wife. But he's not our father. 259 00:13:39,219 --> 00:13:41,350 Come on, mom. 260 00:13:41,351 --> 00:13:43,522 Things were so good last year. 261 00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:46,025 We were almost like a real family. 262 00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:47,256 Why change that? 263 00:13:47,257 --> 00:13:48,858 Serena, you're making this 264 00:13:48,859 --> 00:13:50,900 much more complicated than it really is, 265 00:13:50,901 --> 00:13:53,102 and going by your actions last night, 266 00:13:53,103 --> 00:13:56,835 I clearly think that you could benefit from a little structure. 267 00:13:56,836 --> 00:13:59,508 If I thought this was actually you talking, I might listen. 268 00:13:59,509 --> 00:14:01,510 If this is how you're acting now, 269 00:14:01,511 --> 00:14:03,472 I should have insisted on more structure years ago. 270 00:14:03,473 --> 00:14:05,545 You mean, like, three husbands ago? 271 00:14:09,179 --> 00:14:11,280 That was unkind. 272 00:14:11,281 --> 00:14:13,852 I'm not really in a family mood. 273 00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:16,426 I think I'm gonna pass on tonight's little soiree. 274 00:14:25,195 --> 00:14:26,536 (Doorbell clicks) 275 00:15:01,371 --> 00:15:02,602 Nate? 276 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,579 (Cell phone rings) 277 00:15:10,580 --> 00:15:11,942 (Ring) 278 00:15:14,044 --> 00:15:17,086 Hey, man. 279 00:15:17,087 --> 00:15:19,949 Oh, right, yeah, yeah, we're meeting in the park. 280 00:15:19,950 --> 00:15:23,322 Yeah. 281 00:15:23,323 --> 00:15:25,324 Yeah, I'll see you in ten. 282 00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:26,596 Okay. 283 00:15:33,703 --> 00:15:36,105 Whoever said, "you can't have it all," 284 00:15:36,106 --> 00:15:38,567 must have known the archibalds. 285 00:15:38,568 --> 00:15:41,070 Looks like poor little Nate is... 286 00:15:41,071 --> 00:15:43,573 Yuck. Poor. 287 00:15:46,416 --> 00:15:49,018 (Dorota in distance) A Mr. Chuck to see you, miss Blair. 288 00:15:49,019 --> 00:15:50,519 Dorota, who? 289 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:52,621 Excuse me. Don't you... 290 00:15:52,622 --> 00:15:55,954 Deal's off. What? What are you talking about? 291 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,557 I'm out. I don't know what I was thinking about, 292 00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:01,530 pretending to buy some broken-down bar. But you promised to seduce Vanessa. 293 00:16:01,531 --> 00:16:03,532 She needs to be destroyed. 294 00:16:03,533 --> 00:16:05,634 She's your problem. Humphrey doesn't warrant this. 295 00:16:05,635 --> 00:16:08,097 The great Chuck bass is just gonna give up? 296 00:16:08,098 --> 00:16:11,270 No, no, no. There's no shame if the prize isn't worth it. 297 00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:13,502 You can do your own dirty work. 298 00:16:13,503 --> 00:16:15,674 There's not enough in it for me. 299 00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:17,706 But what if I made it worth it? 300 00:16:17,707 --> 00:16:21,210 What are you talking about? I think you know. 301 00:16:21,211 --> 00:16:23,583 You're not serious. 302 00:16:25,615 --> 00:16:27,716 My, my. 303 00:16:27,717 --> 00:16:30,419 That girl has gotten under your skin. 304 00:16:30,420 --> 00:16:34,063 The question is, bass, will you? 305 00:16:34,064 --> 00:16:39,569 Aren't you the least bit worried I'll succeed? 306 00:16:43,173 --> 00:16:46,275 Do we have an agreement? 307 00:16:46,276 --> 00:16:49,007 Careful, b. 308 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:51,180 One thing about making a deal with the devil... 309 00:16:51,181 --> 00:16:55,284 Oh, we have a deal. 310 00:16:55,285 --> 00:16:57,787 He always comes to collect. 311 00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:05,454 After you left, 312 00:17:05,455 --> 00:17:07,556 your lawyer came back and showed us your proposal, 313 00:17:07,557 --> 00:17:10,129 which did indeed include keeping everything as is 314 00:17:10,130 --> 00:17:13,532 and lobbying for landmark status. So I was telling the truth. 315 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,804 I'm sure you've done something in your lifetime 316 00:17:15,805 --> 00:17:18,707 to deserve getting beaned by an iced beverage. 317 00:17:18,708 --> 00:17:22,341 Isn't it possible there are parts of me you don't know? 318 00:17:22,342 --> 00:17:24,343 Possible, just extremely unlikely. 319 00:17:24,344 --> 00:17:26,175 You have a reason for coming here? 320 00:17:26,176 --> 00:17:28,347 If it was to insult me, 321 00:17:28,348 --> 00:17:31,520 there's a web site you can go to. The manager of the inn wants to meet you. 322 00:17:31,521 --> 00:17:34,453 If he signs off, you have our support. 323 00:17:34,454 --> 00:17:36,755 But it still doesn't mean I trust you. 324 00:17:36,756 --> 00:17:38,288 Of course not... now. 325 00:17:41,691 --> 00:17:44,534 I best go put on something special. 326 00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:53,102 I don't know how she expects me to take this family seriously 327 00:17:53,103 --> 00:17:55,774 when her record stands at 16 months. Which husband was that? 328 00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,406 Klaus. 329 00:17:57,407 --> 00:18:00,409 Is that the one who wore the wooden shoes? Zip. 330 00:18:00,410 --> 00:18:02,651 No, that was Danish claus, with a "c." 331 00:18:02,652 --> 00:18:05,784 (Zips up dress) This is German Klaus, with a "k." 332 00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:08,787 Wait, I forget. Did she marry both? No, just German Klaus, 333 00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:11,790 but she did date Danish claus longer. Oh, your mother. 334 00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:13,792 Remember how she always used to just jet off 335 00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:15,794 to mustique or Ibiza without warning 336 00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:19,128 while you and Eric were still in school? Eleanor always knew 337 00:18:19,129 --> 00:18:22,131 when we showed up with our overnight bags. Lily had a new boyfriend. 338 00:18:22,132 --> 00:18:24,133 We tried alternating between you and the archibalds 339 00:18:24,134 --> 00:18:26,775 so you guys never knew how bad it really was. We knew. 340 00:18:26,776 --> 00:18:30,139 But Bart is the worst. He's controlling and a hypocrite. 341 00:18:30,140 --> 00:18:32,110 He acts like he's family friendly 342 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,683 when he's dated half the models in Manhattan. 343 00:18:34,684 --> 00:18:37,686 B., you look gorgeous. Where did you get that dress? 344 00:18:37,687 --> 00:18:39,117 Oh, this? 345 00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,119 Just... Chuck. 346 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:44,423 When did Chuck give you a dress? When we were going to Europe. 347 00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:46,525 And you're wearing it tonight? 348 00:18:46,526 --> 00:18:50,559 It's just that it would be a shame to waste it. That's all. Uh-huh. 349 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,561 You know, you gotta teach me that... that, uh, 350 00:18:52,562 --> 00:18:54,703 that bouncing-off-the-knees thing, 351 00:18:54,704 --> 00:18:57,566 'cause I tried it once, but I broke my dad's Gibson. 352 00:18:57,567 --> 00:19:00,709 It's very scarring to see your father cry. (Laughs) Well, I actually wouldn't know. 353 00:19:00,710 --> 00:19:03,212 My father... not too big on showing emotion. Mm. 354 00:19:03,213 --> 00:19:04,843 Hey, so I'm guessing you're not going 355 00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:07,216 to the bass/van der Woodsen housewarming party, 356 00:19:07,217 --> 00:19:11,580 are you, tonight? No, no. 357 00:19:11,581 --> 00:19:14,923 Oh, so... you and Serena are, like... Well, to say things ended badly 358 00:19:14,924 --> 00:19:17,456 would be an understatement. You going? 359 00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:19,328 Uh, nah. I think I'm just gonna stay at home, 360 00:19:19,329 --> 00:19:22,591 chill out, watch a movie, you know? Yeah, that sounds good. 361 00:19:22,592 --> 00:19:25,234 Well, I'd actually invite you over, 362 00:19:25,235 --> 00:19:27,736 but the house is, like, a total mess. Oh, yeah. No. 363 00:19:27,737 --> 00:19:31,370 Housekeeper has the week off, so... Is your mom there? I mean, not that she cleans things. 364 00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:34,543 You know, i-i-i don't know... All that stuff with your dad... Yeah. No, it's, uh... 365 00:19:34,544 --> 00:19:36,675 My mom's staying out in the Hamptons... Okay. 366 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,478 So I told her I was staying at Chuck's just so she doesn't 367 00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:40,879 worry about stuff, you know? 368 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:44,953 I'm gonna get a drink, actually. You want something? 369 00:19:44,954 --> 00:19:47,457 Yeah. Sure. Thanks. Cool. 370 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:53,362 (The black keys' "psychotic girl" playing) 371 00:19:53,363 --> 00:19:54,893 What is it? 372 00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,895 Nothing. I like it. 373 00:19:56,896 --> 00:19:59,228 This our guy? 374 00:19:59,229 --> 00:20:01,370 Horace Rogers, meet Chuck bass. Pleasure. 375 00:20:01,371 --> 00:20:03,502 Man, come here. 376 00:20:03,503 --> 00:20:05,304 Look at that outfit. 377 00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:09,207 Didn't know it could be worse than the one this morning. 378 00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,879 (Clears throat) (Laughs) 379 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,511 Kidding. (Chuckles) 380 00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:15,644 I know savile row when I see it. Joe Kennedy taught me. 381 00:20:15,645 --> 00:20:18,517 You knew Joe Kennedy? Used to come here all the time. 382 00:20:18,518 --> 00:20:20,689 Had a girl up the street. 383 00:20:20,690 --> 00:20:22,891 I was 9 years old, selling papers out front. 384 00:20:22,892 --> 00:20:24,493 Rumor has it 385 00:20:24,494 --> 00:20:26,955 he kept this place in booze during prohibition. 386 00:20:26,956 --> 00:20:28,857 So you like old Joe? 387 00:20:28,858 --> 00:20:32,261 Rumrunner, womanizer, millionaire. 388 00:20:32,262 --> 00:20:33,932 He was my kind of guy. 389 00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:37,766 They all used to come here back in the day... 390 00:20:37,767 --> 00:20:41,310 Gangsters, fighters, musicians. 391 00:20:41,311 --> 00:20:44,943 Dangerous folks, no doubt. 392 00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:47,476 But they had style. 393 00:20:47,477 --> 00:20:49,878 Something tells me you'd fit right in. 394 00:20:49,879 --> 00:20:52,821 That's possibly the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me. 395 00:20:52,822 --> 00:20:56,425 ♫♫ 396 00:20:56,426 --> 00:20:58,887 Well, are you sure he's living there? 397 00:20:58,888 --> 00:21:01,290 Uh, squatting, I think, would be the correct term. 398 00:21:01,291 --> 00:21:02,831 There's just, like, 399 00:21:02,832 --> 00:21:05,334 a sleeping bag and a bunch of Brooks brothers shirts. 400 00:21:05,335 --> 00:21:07,966 Why isn't he staying with Chuck? Well, obviously, Dan, he's embarrassed. 401 00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:09,968 Okay, look, invite him over for dinner tonight. 402 00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:14,973 Dad's making chili. And then once he's here, 403 00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:17,676 'cause he'll probably, like, handcuff him to the couch 404 00:21:17,677 --> 00:21:20,449 or say something stupid. I'll see ya. 405 00:21:20,450 --> 00:21:22,851 That was, uh, that was Jenny. Oh. 406 00:21:22,852 --> 00:21:25,584 And it turns out my dad's making his once-a-year chili, 407 00:21:25,585 --> 00:21:27,886 and attendance is mandatory for me and whoever I'm with. 408 00:21:27,887 --> 00:21:29,988 I'm sorry. I'm deeply sorry. But this year, that's you. 409 00:21:29,989 --> 00:21:32,991 Wow. Well, I guess I don't have a choice then, do I? 410 00:21:32,992 --> 00:21:34,793 You don't. (Laughs) 411 00:21:34,794 --> 00:21:36,625 Uh, scattegories will be involved. Scattegories? 412 00:21:36,626 --> 00:21:38,997 Be prepared. It's been a while. 413 00:21:38,998 --> 00:21:40,530 (Elevator bell dings) 414 00:21:42,332 --> 00:21:45,474 Hey, Jonathan. You visiting Eric? Uh, he's not here. 415 00:21:45,475 --> 00:21:48,637 I was just dropping off some books. Have fun tonight. Uh, you're not coming? 416 00:21:48,638 --> 00:21:50,479 No. Eric talked to your stepfather, 417 00:21:50,480 --> 00:21:52,481 and apparently it's family only. 418 00:21:52,482 --> 00:21:55,945 Wait, Bart said that? It's no big deal. I'll see you later. 419 00:22:08,628 --> 00:22:11,930 Well, you won Horace over. 420 00:22:11,931 --> 00:22:14,533 He trusts me. 421 00:22:14,534 --> 00:22:16,535 You're really serious, aren't you? 422 00:22:16,536 --> 00:22:18,508 You're gonna save this place. 423 00:22:22,512 --> 00:22:24,673 Yeah. I guess I am. 424 00:22:24,674 --> 00:22:26,675 I knew it'd take a miracle, 425 00:22:26,676 --> 00:22:29,047 but I never thought it would be Chuck bass. 426 00:22:29,048 --> 00:22:31,420 I was wrong about you, 427 00:22:31,421 --> 00:22:33,922 and I'm sorry. 428 00:22:33,923 --> 00:22:35,755 Thanks. Means a lot. 429 00:22:37,387 --> 00:22:38,727 Vanessa, there's something... 430 00:22:38,728 --> 00:22:40,430 (Cell phone alert chimes) 431 00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:50,368 At the conclusion of a deal, 432 00:22:50,369 --> 00:22:52,671 I like to celebrate. 433 00:22:52,672 --> 00:22:54,843 My parents are having a housewarming tonight. 434 00:22:54,844 --> 00:22:57,406 I'd like you to come. Yeah, okay. 435 00:22:57,407 --> 00:22:59,509 Good. I'll send the car at 8:00. 436 00:23:09,819 --> 00:23:12,961 (Snow patrol) ♫ take back the city for yourself tonight ♫ 437 00:23:12,962 --> 00:23:14,092 ♫ or I'll take back the city for me ♫ 438 00:23:14,093 --> 00:23:16,024 Richard Phillips, this is 439 00:23:16,025 --> 00:23:18,427 Ariel foxman and honor Brodie from "in style." 440 00:23:18,428 --> 00:23:21,830 Everything here that you see is thanks to them. 441 00:23:21,831 --> 00:23:23,932 Except for this gorgeous painting, 442 00:23:23,933 --> 00:23:26,435 which Richard did. 443 00:23:26,436 --> 00:23:29,778 ♫ And it's both cradled you and crushed ♫ 444 00:23:29,779 --> 00:23:31,640 ♫ but now it's time... ♫ 445 00:23:31,641 --> 00:23:34,443 Um, would you just excuse us for one second? 446 00:23:34,444 --> 00:23:37,486 I'll take care of it, Lily. Excuse me. 447 00:23:37,487 --> 00:23:39,748 (Chuckles nervously) 448 00:23:39,749 --> 00:23:41,019 Serena? 449 00:23:41,020 --> 00:23:42,721 ♫♫ 450 00:23:42,722 --> 00:23:44,993 The suit looks lovely on you. 451 00:23:44,994 --> 00:23:47,726 And I'm glad you changed your mind and decided to join us. 452 00:23:47,727 --> 00:23:50,729 Can I introduce you to some people? No, I'm waiting on some friends. 453 00:23:50,730 --> 00:23:53,862 We are allowed to bring friends, right? Sure. 454 00:23:53,863 --> 00:23:58,567 Bart, just curious. 455 00:23:58,568 --> 00:24:00,569 I told Eric no such thing. 456 00:24:00,570 --> 00:24:02,871 We discussed it. The decision was his. 457 00:24:02,872 --> 00:24:06,444 Really? The 15 year old and the billionaire? 458 00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:08,617 Sounds like a discussion between equals. 459 00:24:08,618 --> 00:24:10,619 Serena, I hope that over time 460 00:24:10,620 --> 00:24:13,051 you'll see that I want what's best for this family. 461 00:24:13,052 --> 00:24:16,955 In the meantime, I suggest you talk with your brother. 462 00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:18,527 (Camera shutter snaps) 463 00:24:18,528 --> 00:24:19,928 Good evening, Chuck. 464 00:24:19,929 --> 00:24:21,159 Blair. 465 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:23,492 Do I get a progress report? 466 00:24:23,493 --> 00:24:25,193 Does Vanessa still think 467 00:24:25,194 --> 00:24:27,536 you're buying that beer hall of hers? 468 00:24:27,537 --> 00:24:29,638 I am buying it. It's a good investment. 469 00:24:29,639 --> 00:24:31,039 (Laughs) You're kidding. 470 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:32,771 (Scoffs) 471 00:24:32,772 --> 00:24:34,543 ♫ all these years later... ♫ 472 00:24:34,544 --> 00:24:37,576 Fine. But you're still gonna crush her, right? 473 00:24:37,577 --> 00:24:39,578 We made a deal, remember? 474 00:24:39,579 --> 00:24:41,680 Yes. Excuse me. 475 00:24:41,681 --> 00:24:43,852 ♫ 10,000 craters where it all should be ♫ 476 00:24:43,853 --> 00:24:45,514 ♫ whoa, whoa ♫ 477 00:24:45,515 --> 00:24:47,656 Some housewarming. 478 00:24:47,657 --> 00:24:50,218 Good thing I didn't bring a casserole. 479 00:24:50,219 --> 00:24:52,691 Can I get you a drink? (Bart) Chuck. 480 00:24:52,692 --> 00:24:57,095 I'd like to speak with you now. 481 00:24:57,096 --> 00:24:58,927 I'll be back in a moment. 482 00:24:58,928 --> 00:25:01,069 ♫ Whoa, whoa ♫ 483 00:25:01,070 --> 00:25:04,273 ♫ take back the city for yourself... ♫ 484 00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,542 So, Jenny, I still can't believe 485 00:25:13,543 --> 00:25:16,615 you dropped out of constance to become a designer. 486 00:25:16,616 --> 00:25:22,090 Um, it's incredible how supportive my dad's been. 487 00:25:22,091 --> 00:25:24,522 How's everything at home? I know it's been a tough year. Yeah, it has, 488 00:25:24,523 --> 00:25:26,925 but, you know, we're getting by. It's just you and your mom now? 489 00:25:26,926 --> 00:25:29,558 Uh, you know, I've seen Nate do that knee bounce thing 490 00:25:29,559 --> 00:25:32,530 with the soccer ball, and it's... it's amazing. 491 00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:35,604 Well, my mom's actually out at our Hamptons house, 492 00:25:35,605 --> 00:25:38,106 but I still have school, so I gotta... I gotta stick around. 493 00:25:38,107 --> 00:25:40,308 You staying by yourself? Isn't that kind of lonely? 494 00:25:40,309 --> 00:25:42,911 Well, yeah, but, I mean... I grew up there. 495 00:25:42,912 --> 00:25:45,544 You know, it's where all the memories are. 496 00:25:47,577 --> 00:25:51,580 Do you know what this is about? To show me Lily's poliform kitchen? 497 00:25:51,581 --> 00:25:53,982 I love what it does with the doors. 498 00:25:53,983 --> 00:25:55,984 Did you really think I wasn't gonna find out 499 00:25:55,985 --> 00:25:58,987 my company was buying a bar in Brooklyn? It wasn't a secret. 500 00:25:58,988 --> 00:26:01,990 I just wanted to make sure I had everything in place. 501 00:26:01,991 --> 00:26:04,733 Did you read the proposal? Why would I do that? 502 00:26:04,734 --> 00:26:06,735 Because... the tax break will be huge. 503 00:26:06,736 --> 00:26:09,167 Saving a landmark buys us amazing p.R., 504 00:26:09,168 --> 00:26:10,639 engenders goodwill in the community, 505 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:12,601 paving the way for future investment. 506 00:26:12,602 --> 00:26:14,743 Plus, it's a great place. 507 00:26:14,744 --> 00:26:17,746 Look, father, let me take you there and show you around. 508 00:26:17,747 --> 00:26:20,148 I'll make you a believer, I promise. What I believe 509 00:26:20,149 --> 00:26:22,751 is that you've betrayed my trust and wasted my time. 510 00:26:22,752 --> 00:26:25,353 This is a good move for bass industries. 511 00:26:25,354 --> 00:26:28,316 I stand behind it. Really? Chuck bass stands behind it. What's that worth? 512 00:26:28,317 --> 00:26:31,589 I gave people my word. They're counting on me. 513 00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:34,223 Well, luckily, letting people down is your forte. 514 00:26:38,868 --> 00:26:40,769 Oh, man. 515 00:26:40,770 --> 00:26:43,131 This has been great. But, look, I should go. 516 00:26:43,132 --> 00:26:46,174 Look, I, uh, I'm tired, so... What about scattegories? 517 00:26:46,175 --> 00:26:49,077 Oh, I can't believe I just used scattegories as an enticement. 518 00:26:49,078 --> 00:26:51,009 (Laughs) Well, next time. 519 00:26:51,010 --> 00:26:53,041 W... uh, I mean, it's late. 520 00:26:53,042 --> 00:26:55,914 You sure you just don't wanna crash on the couch? Nah. No, it's cool. 521 00:26:55,915 --> 00:26:57,916 Look, uh, Nate, I... 522 00:26:57,917 --> 00:27:00,689 I, uh, I-I know about how you're living... at home. 523 00:27:00,690 --> 00:27:03,291 Excuse me. What? It was a mistake. 524 00:27:03,292 --> 00:27:06,725 I just thought we were supposed to meet at your place today. 525 00:27:06,726 --> 00:27:09,627 But I saw the notice. Wait, so you... so you broke into my home? 526 00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:11,629 Well, no. I mean, there w... 527 00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:13,631 There wasn't really much to break into. 528 00:27:13,632 --> 00:27:16,264 It's just, you know, j-Jenny and I wanted to help you. Jenny knows, too? 529 00:27:16,265 --> 00:27:19,107 Oh, so suddenly I'm the Humphrey family's favorite charity, huh? No, no, it's not like that. 530 00:27:19,108 --> 00:27:21,109 No, look, you tell your dad 531 00:27:21,110 --> 00:27:23,672 I said thank you, and then I had to leave. Nate... 532 00:27:23,673 --> 00:27:27,816 Dan, we hang out at Yale, we played soccer once. So what? 533 00:27:27,817 --> 00:27:29,718 Just stay out of it. 534 00:27:29,719 --> 00:27:31,850 Hey. 535 00:27:31,851 --> 00:27:35,223 I overheard the end of that conversation. 536 00:27:35,224 --> 00:27:37,355 And I'm sorry. 537 00:27:37,356 --> 00:27:40,128 I don't know your dad, 538 00:27:40,129 --> 00:27:41,960 but from... 539 00:27:41,961 --> 00:27:45,363 What I saw today, you deserve better. 540 00:27:45,364 --> 00:27:48,337 ♫♫ 541 00:27:50,700 --> 00:27:52,670 You say that... 542 00:27:52,671 --> 00:27:56,144 But you don't really know me. 543 00:27:56,145 --> 00:27:59,277 My father, on the other hand, has a lifetime of experience. 544 00:27:59,278 --> 00:28:01,249 The man makes some good points. 545 00:28:01,250 --> 00:28:04,754 ♫♫ 546 00:28:07,386 --> 00:28:08,818 Stay. 547 00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:11,119 Please. 548 00:28:22,972 --> 00:28:25,103 Bart told me I could bring Jonathan. 549 00:28:25,104 --> 00:28:32,040 But he told me there would be press here, 550 00:28:32,041 --> 00:28:35,043 I don't think so. I think he's trying to protect me. 551 00:28:35,044 --> 00:28:37,315 Why... why are you so against him? I don't know. 552 00:28:37,316 --> 00:28:39,317 Excuse me. Serena, Eric, would you guys mind 553 00:28:39,318 --> 00:28:41,249 if our reporter asked you a few questions? 554 00:28:41,250 --> 00:28:43,151 Honestly? Sure. 555 00:28:43,152 --> 00:28:45,924 So your mom told me how close-knit your family is. 556 00:28:45,925 --> 00:28:48,827 Is there a particular memory that stands out? 557 00:28:48,828 --> 00:28:50,859 A birthday or Christmas? She said what? 558 00:28:50,860 --> 00:28:53,932 Just that... Um, excuse me. I just need to... to borrow Serena. 559 00:28:53,933 --> 00:28:56,965 You said we were a close-knit family? (Laughs) I'll bring her right back, 560 00:28:56,966 --> 00:29:02,310 and I'll tell you all about the wonderful time 561 00:29:02,311 --> 00:29:04,973 or did you forget, the same way 562 00:29:04,974 --> 00:29:08,276 you forget to say good-bye to me and Eric every time you left? Serena, don't do this. 563 00:29:08,277 --> 00:29:12,150 If you have issues with Bart, fine, but don't sabotage this. What? I-I'm not doing anything. 564 00:29:12,151 --> 00:29:14,022 I thought we were just sharing memories 565 00:29:14,023 --> 00:29:16,284 of a... what a close family we are. 566 00:29:16,285 --> 00:29:18,927 I remember this one time, um, when I was 11. 567 00:29:18,928 --> 00:29:21,429 Eric and I wanted a white Christmas. 568 00:29:21,430 --> 00:29:24,162 Luckily, mom's husband was a raging cokehead, 569 00:29:24,163 --> 00:29:26,895 so he left blow everywhere. Oh, my god. (Laughs nervously) 570 00:29:26,896 --> 00:29:29,968 It wasn't everywhere... just on the smooth, shiny surfaces. 571 00:29:29,969 --> 00:29:32,240 Was that, um, German Klaus with a "k," 572 00:29:32,241 --> 00:29:34,242 or was it Danish claus with a "c"? 573 00:29:34,243 --> 00:29:36,374 I can't ever remember which ones she actually married 574 00:29:36,375 --> 00:29:38,006 or which she just decided 575 00:29:38,007 --> 00:29:40,308 were more important than her children. 576 00:29:40,309 --> 00:29:42,780 You know what? I was... I was wrong. 577 00:29:42,781 --> 00:29:45,183 It's not Bart at all. It's you. 578 00:29:45,184 --> 00:29:48,456 Looks like the bass housewarming party 579 00:29:48,457 --> 00:29:56,325 just got a little colder. 580 00:29:57,796 --> 00:30:00,900 ♫♫ 581 00:30:06,305 --> 00:30:10,338 Bet's off. 582 00:30:10,339 --> 00:30:13,011 But the game's not over. 583 00:30:13,012 --> 00:30:15,513 I'm calling it on account of boredom. 584 00:30:15,514 --> 00:30:20,248 Maybe she is, maybe she isn't. Why the sudden change of heart? 585 00:30:20,249 --> 00:30:23,121 Like I said, the whole thing is dull. 586 00:30:23,122 --> 00:30:25,323 Pursuing Vanessa is beneath us both. 587 00:30:25,324 --> 00:30:27,495 You think I'm going in for the kill. 588 00:30:27,496 --> 00:30:29,497 You're worried you're gonna 589 00:30:29,498 --> 00:30:32,000 have to go through with what you promised. 590 00:30:32,001 --> 00:30:34,302 I'm not worried... About... that. 591 00:30:34,303 --> 00:30:36,264 Well, then what? 592 00:30:36,265 --> 00:30:38,036 Then... nothing. 593 00:30:38,037 --> 00:30:40,939 Just... forget it. 594 00:30:40,940 --> 00:30:44,243 ♫♫ 595 00:30:47,076 --> 00:30:49,918 I can't believe Serena did that in front of everyone... 596 00:30:49,919 --> 00:30:52,280 That reporter, all of these people. 597 00:30:52,281 --> 00:30:55,884 Eric, my darling, you are always honest with me. 598 00:30:55,885 --> 00:30:58,056 It isn't true, is it? 599 00:30:58,057 --> 00:31:01,189 I know Serena's timing sucked, 600 00:31:01,190 --> 00:31:04,192 but she did pretty much raise me all those years. 601 00:31:04,193 --> 00:31:06,434 Oh... You just weren't here, you know? 602 00:31:06,435 --> 00:31:07,996 I wasn't that bad. 603 00:31:07,997 --> 00:31:11,269 Our ringtone for you was "since u been gone." 604 00:31:11,270 --> 00:31:13,101 (Sighs) Vanya the doorman 605 00:31:13,102 --> 00:31:15,103 used to sign our permission slips from school. 606 00:31:15,104 --> 00:31:18,406 Well, there was a lot going on in my life. 607 00:31:18,407 --> 00:31:21,579 And I did the best I could, just like I'm doing now. 608 00:31:21,580 --> 00:31:23,551 Yeah, but now it's like 609 00:31:23,552 --> 00:31:26,654 you want us to go from zero to Brady in 60 seconds. 610 00:31:26,655 --> 00:31:28,386 We're not there yet. 611 00:31:28,387 --> 00:31:30,989 Oh, I know, but I just thought if... 612 00:31:30,990 --> 00:31:34,362 You don't become a family just by telling people you are. (Scoffs) 613 00:31:34,363 --> 00:31:38,397 You become a family because you want to be one. 614 00:31:40,329 --> 00:31:44,272 I... mm. I think mine's carbonated. 615 00:31:44,273 --> 00:31:45,304 Yours? 616 00:31:49,378 --> 00:31:52,110 (Thud) 617 00:31:52,111 --> 00:31:53,641 You're still upset. 618 00:31:53,642 --> 00:31:56,985 Well, like I said, I tried to help him, and then he bailed. 619 00:31:56,986 --> 00:31:59,187 So, you know, if he doesn't want my help, 620 00:31:59,188 --> 00:32:00,989 then that's... that's fine. 621 00:32:00,990 --> 00:32:04,052 And being a friend means giving someone something they need 622 00:32:04,053 --> 00:32:06,394 even when they can't ask for it, which you did. 623 00:32:06,395 --> 00:32:09,197 Right. I-I did that. So... It also means not giving up on them 624 00:32:09,198 --> 00:32:11,459 when they say "no, thank you." 625 00:32:11,460 --> 00:32:13,631 I didn't do that, and I'm not doing that. 626 00:32:13,632 --> 00:32:16,604 He wants to be alone. It's his choice. 627 00:32:16,605 --> 00:32:19,437 Good luck to him. Well, from what you told me, this thing is pretty intense. 628 00:32:19,438 --> 00:32:22,140 I don't know if he has anyone else in his life 629 00:32:22,141 --> 00:32:24,712 looking out for him right now. 630 00:32:24,713 --> 00:32:28,016 You really wanna be his friend, you need to be that person 631 00:32:28,017 --> 00:32:30,078 I know I left my bag with my coat. 632 00:32:30,079 --> 00:32:32,320 Could you just check again? (Blair) No need. 633 00:32:32,321 --> 00:32:35,353 Don't tell me you took my purse by mistake. 634 00:32:35,354 --> 00:32:37,085 Hardly. 635 00:32:37,086 --> 00:32:39,457 But then it wasn't your bag I was after. 636 00:32:39,458 --> 00:32:41,189 Don't you know 637 00:32:41,190 --> 00:32:43,691 never to leave anything that valuable unattended? 638 00:32:43,692 --> 00:32:47,235 Oh, and I took the Liberty of increasing your storage space. What did you do? 639 00:32:47,236 --> 00:32:49,237 Marcus and Catherine are free 640 00:32:49,238 --> 00:32:51,499 to live their sick little lives in peace, as am I. 641 00:32:51,500 --> 00:32:55,503 Now that you have nothing on me, you're done here. 642 00:32:55,504 --> 00:32:57,375 Except one more thing. 643 00:32:57,376 --> 00:32:59,707 You may think you've discovered the hidden Chuck, 644 00:32:59,708 --> 00:33:01,379 but you should know 645 00:33:01,380 --> 00:33:03,981 he has no real feelings for you whatsoever. 646 00:33:03,982 --> 00:33:06,054 It was all a little bet we made 647 00:33:06,055 --> 00:33:09,457 to see just how gullible you could be. 648 00:33:09,458 --> 00:33:11,359 I don't believe you. 649 00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:14,022 It was simple, really. 650 00:33:14,023 --> 00:33:17,195 Chuck wanted to get Dan, and I wanted to get you. 651 00:33:17,196 --> 00:33:19,197 So are you telling me that Chuck had his dad's company 652 00:33:19,198 --> 00:33:21,199 make an offer on the Brooklyn inn 653 00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,501 in order to get back at Dan? 654 00:33:23,502 --> 00:33:26,304 Isn't that a little convoluted, even for the two of you? 655 00:33:26,305 --> 00:33:28,476 Real estate was just foreplay. 656 00:33:28,477 --> 00:33:32,540 Seducing and humiliating you was the ultimate goal. Chuck didn't hit on me once. 657 00:33:32,541 --> 00:33:35,713 Maybe what's really going on here is that you can't stand 658 00:33:35,714 --> 00:33:39,647 that he might actually be a good person when he's not around you. I seriously doubt that. 659 00:33:39,648 --> 00:33:41,449 What are you doing, Blair? 660 00:33:41,450 --> 00:33:43,291 Tying up some loose ends, 661 00:33:43,292 --> 00:33:46,194 telling Vanessa that she doesn't mean anything to you. 662 00:33:46,195 --> 00:33:48,656 We were just playing chess, 663 00:33:48,657 --> 00:33:52,029 and she was another piece that you needed to knock over 664 00:33:52,030 --> 00:33:56,033 on your way to take the queen. Do you disagree? 665 00:33:56,034 --> 00:33:58,636 (Sighs) Guess I-I should've known. 666 00:33:58,637 --> 00:34:03,112 ♫♫ 667 00:34:05,144 --> 00:34:07,715 Good boy. What the hell was the point of that? 668 00:34:07,716 --> 00:34:10,218 Well, you may not have seduced her, 669 00:34:10,219 --> 00:34:13,221 but she seems pretty humiliated to me. What are you saying? 670 00:34:13,222 --> 00:34:15,052 I'm saying... 671 00:34:15,053 --> 00:34:17,325 I lost, you won. 672 00:34:17,326 --> 00:34:19,557 I'll be waiting in my room in one hour. 673 00:34:19,558 --> 00:34:22,059 Come claim your prize. 674 00:34:22,060 --> 00:34:24,292 Poor Chuck bass. 675 00:34:24,293 --> 00:34:27,196 You made your bet. Now you have to lie in it. 676 00:34:36,105 --> 00:34:38,747 Dan, is that you? 677 00:34:40,409 --> 00:34:43,551 Are you talkin' to me? You're the only person here. 678 00:34:43,552 --> 00:34:46,314 Right, but that's, uh, never stopped you before. 679 00:34:46,315 --> 00:34:48,116 I deserve that. 680 00:34:48,117 --> 00:34:50,658 I haven't started yet. 681 00:34:50,659 --> 00:34:53,722 Fine. Sit, pile it on. My night couldn't get any worse. 682 00:34:56,625 --> 00:34:59,227 (Mildred Anderson's "hard times" playing) 683 00:34:59,228 --> 00:35:00,569 (Door opens) 684 00:35:03,632 --> 00:35:07,675 Coming to rub my nose in it? Falling for your line of bull... 685 00:35:07,676 --> 00:35:09,707 Talk to Vanessa already? 686 00:35:09,708 --> 00:35:12,380 Look, I know you have no reason to trust me. 687 00:35:12,381 --> 00:35:15,513 And you ain't gonna be able to give me one, either, 688 00:35:15,514 --> 00:35:18,346 so you might as well go. Look, I don't care what you think about me. 689 00:35:18,347 --> 00:35:20,848 But I'm not giving up. I'm gonna save this place. 690 00:35:20,849 --> 00:35:22,550 Try saving yourself first, kid. 691 00:35:22,551 --> 00:35:26,224 I like to think I know people, but I was wrong about you. 692 00:35:26,225 --> 00:35:29,698 ♫♫ 693 00:35:40,269 --> 00:35:43,140 So what are you doing at Nate's anyway? 694 00:35:43,141 --> 00:35:45,142 Well, uh, Nate and I are friends. 695 00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:47,415 At least, I hope we are. What about you? 696 00:35:47,416 --> 00:35:52,680 I just had to get out of my house, talk to someone. 697 00:35:52,681 --> 00:35:56,754 Blair was busy. Chuck is... Chuck. 698 00:35:56,755 --> 00:35:58,556 (Sighs) 699 00:35:58,557 --> 00:36:01,629 The only person I really wanted to talk to, 700 00:36:01,630 --> 00:36:03,691 I can't anymore. 701 00:36:03,692 --> 00:36:05,563 So I came here. 702 00:36:05,564 --> 00:36:07,496 Pretend I'm Nate. 703 00:36:09,298 --> 00:36:11,369 What? Pretend I'm... 704 00:36:11,370 --> 00:36:14,602 Well, look, he pretended to be me, so it's only fair. 705 00:36:14,603 --> 00:36:15,843 Really? 706 00:36:15,844 --> 00:36:18,276 Well, um... 707 00:36:18,277 --> 00:36:20,708 My mom hosted this big party. 708 00:36:20,709 --> 00:36:23,711 It as supposed to be about our new family. (Clears throat) 709 00:36:23,712 --> 00:36:26,454 But it turns out, of course, it was for publicity. 710 00:36:26,455 --> 00:36:29,186 So I-I blew up at her in front of everyone. 711 00:36:29,187 --> 00:36:30,718 And this whole time, 712 00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:33,591 I was thinking that Bart was the problem, 713 00:36:33,592 --> 00:36:35,623 but I-I realized it's all her. 714 00:36:35,624 --> 00:36:38,666 You ever think that your mom acts like she's perfect 715 00:36:38,667 --> 00:36:40,328 because she's... 716 00:36:40,329 --> 00:36:42,600 She's... too ashamed to acknowledge 717 00:36:42,601 --> 00:36:46,274 how far from it she's really been? 718 00:36:46,275 --> 00:36:49,777 I thought you were pretending to be Nate. 719 00:36:49,778 --> 00:36:51,340 Kidding. (Chuckles) 720 00:36:53,842 --> 00:36:55,313 I'm sorry. 721 00:36:55,314 --> 00:36:58,586 You... do you not think I'm right? 722 00:36:58,587 --> 00:37:00,919 No, I'm... I mean, I'm sorry about everything. 723 00:37:04,623 --> 00:37:06,294 I am, too. 724 00:37:06,295 --> 00:37:08,556 (Car approaches) 725 00:37:08,557 --> 00:37:10,298 Ugh. 726 00:37:10,299 --> 00:37:13,231 They must have had me chipped while I was sleeping. 727 00:37:15,834 --> 00:37:17,765 Hi, Mr. Bass. 728 00:37:17,766 --> 00:37:21,269 Hello, Daniel. Eric said you might be here. 729 00:37:21,270 --> 00:37:23,711 I'd like to take you home, Serena. 730 00:37:23,712 --> 00:37:25,313 I should probably go, 731 00:37:25,314 --> 00:37:28,676 test out some of... Those theories of yours, 732 00:37:28,677 --> 00:37:30,648 see if they hold up. 733 00:37:30,649 --> 00:37:32,750 I'm really glad you're Nate's friend. 734 00:37:32,751 --> 00:37:35,253 He really needs someone like you right now. 735 00:37:39,628 --> 00:37:40,959 (Sighs) 736 00:38:00,379 --> 00:38:02,580 Hey. Where is everyone? 737 00:38:02,581 --> 00:38:04,312 (Mouth full) Well... 738 00:38:04,313 --> 00:38:06,714 The party wasn't the same after you left. 739 00:38:06,715 --> 00:38:09,056 Actually, I think it might've even stopped 740 00:38:09,057 --> 00:38:11,590 while you were still here. (Laughs) 741 00:38:15,063 --> 00:38:16,994 I owe you an apology. 742 00:38:16,995 --> 00:38:19,997 No, I'm the one who said things they shouldn't have. 743 00:38:19,998 --> 00:38:23,701 No, not about that, about the 17 years that I wasn't here. 744 00:38:23,702 --> 00:38:26,704 And I did put the men in my life before you guys. 745 00:38:26,705 --> 00:38:29,537 Well, it wasn't all bad. 746 00:38:29,538 --> 00:38:32,340 There was a brief period between klauses. 747 00:38:32,341 --> 00:38:34,912 Don't forget that, uh, weekend with sarkozy 748 00:38:34,913 --> 00:38:37,885 when he made us go to euro Disney. (Laughs) Oh! (Laughs) 749 00:38:37,886 --> 00:38:39,747 I'm sorry I embarrassed you 750 00:38:39,748 --> 00:38:41,749 in front of a national magazine. 751 00:38:41,750 --> 00:38:43,751 And I'm sorry I acted the way I did. 752 00:38:43,752 --> 00:38:45,653 Apology accepted. 753 00:38:45,654 --> 00:38:47,855 Well, our family is our family. 754 00:38:47,856 --> 00:38:49,857 That's just who we are. 755 00:38:49,858 --> 00:38:52,960 And I shouldn't care who knows about it, and I don't. 756 00:38:52,961 --> 00:38:57,034 Just like the seasons, people have the ability to change. 757 00:38:57,035 --> 00:38:59,367 It doesn't happen very often, 758 00:38:59,368 --> 00:39:00,968 but when it does, 759 00:39:00,969 --> 00:39:03,070 it's almost always right. 760 00:39:03,071 --> 00:39:06,574 You killed the story, didn't you? I already put out the hit. 761 00:39:06,575 --> 00:39:08,616 (All laugh) 762 00:39:08,617 --> 00:39:10,618 Sometimes it takes what's broken 763 00:39:10,619 --> 00:39:12,381 becoming whole again. 764 00:39:14,352 --> 00:39:16,785 Uh... "R." 765 00:39:18,557 --> 00:39:20,357 What happened? Sometimes it takes 766 00:39:20,358 --> 00:39:23,060 opening up to new people and letting them in. 767 00:39:23,061 --> 00:39:25,993 Hope you don't mind, but we've, uh, we've got a lodger. 768 00:39:25,994 --> 00:39:28,666 So I'll make up the sofa? I'll get the ice cream. 769 00:39:28,667 --> 00:39:30,538 And I'll get the guitar 770 00:39:30,539 --> 00:39:33,901 and the "songs of the '80s" fakebook. I'm thinking wham! 771 00:39:33,902 --> 00:39:36,805 Uh, almost forgot... Make yourself at home. 772 00:39:38,547 --> 00:39:41,650 (Guillemots' "sea out" playing) 773 00:39:45,884 --> 00:39:48,916 But most times, it takes just one person 774 00:39:48,917 --> 00:39:51,859 who is truly afraid to show what they feel 775 00:39:51,860 --> 00:39:55,694 getting an opportunity they never thought possible. 776 00:40:02,431 --> 00:40:04,432 What took you so long? 777 00:40:04,433 --> 00:40:06,103 If you thought that was long, 778 00:40:06,104 --> 00:40:08,706 you have no idea what you're in for. 779 00:40:08,707 --> 00:40:11,810 ♫♫ 780 00:40:19,848 --> 00:40:24,022 ♫ No, marbella's on the run ♫ 781 00:40:29,528 --> 00:40:34,002 ♫ in her eastern overcoat ♫ 782 00:40:38,467 --> 00:40:40,007 ♫ used to wear... ♫ 783 00:40:40,008 --> 00:40:41,138 Say it. 784 00:40:41,139 --> 00:40:43,041 Say what? I'll say anything. 785 00:40:45,744 --> 00:40:48,546 Say those three words you wanted me to say. 786 00:40:48,547 --> 00:40:51,448 ♫ Before we went to sleep ♫ 787 00:40:51,449 --> 00:40:53,020 "Are you kidding?" 788 00:40:53,021 --> 00:40:55,823 Not quite. 789 00:40:55,824 --> 00:40:58,686 Eight letters. Three syllables. 790 00:40:58,687 --> 00:41:00,558 Say them, and I'm yours. 791 00:41:00,559 --> 00:41:07,234 But I'm already yours, 792 00:41:07,235 --> 00:41:10,167 you wanted it from me. I'm prepared to settle. 793 00:41:10,168 --> 00:41:13,601 ♫♫ 794 00:41:13,602 --> 00:41:16,073 Maybe I'm not. 795 00:41:16,074 --> 00:41:18,976 ♫ Couldn't walk, she wouldn't cry ♫ 796 00:41:18,977 --> 00:41:20,077 Chuck bass, 797 00:41:20,078 --> 00:41:22,510 I... 798 00:41:22,511 --> 00:41:25,182 Will never say those words to you. 799 00:41:25,183 --> 00:41:27,955 (Whispers) Then you will never have me. 800 00:41:27,956 --> 00:41:30,187 ♫ Dreams are half-asleep ♫ 801 00:41:30,188 --> 00:41:31,989 ♫♫ 802 00:41:31,990 --> 00:41:35,623 Is this because of Vanessa? It was a game, Chuck. 803 00:41:35,624 --> 00:41:36,694 That's it. 804 00:41:36,695 --> 00:41:39,166 Maybe I want to raise the stakes. 805 00:41:39,167 --> 00:41:41,599 Are you ready to play that game? 806 00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:44,271 I chased you for long enough. 807 00:41:44,272 --> 00:41:46,273 Now it's time you chased me. 808 00:41:46,274 --> 00:41:48,806 ♫ Sea out, now ♫ 809 00:41:48,807 --> 00:41:52,910 And some things never change. 810 00:41:52,911 --> 00:41:55,142 Let a new game begin. 811 00:41:55,143 --> 00:41:59,217 X.o.x.o., gossip girl.