1 00:00:06,658 --> 00:00:08,138 - Hey! - Whoa, man! 2 00:00:08,138 --> 00:00:09,618 I think I have that disorder 3 00:00:09,618 --> 00:00:12,186 where you fall asleep after you stay up all night. 4 00:00:12,186 --> 00:00:14,188 That's not a disorder, that's called exhaustion. 5 00:00:14,188 --> 00:00:15,667 What were you doing up all night? 6 00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:17,321 Mrs. S asked me to prep 7 00:00:17,321 --> 00:00:19,628 the chilaquiles, enchiladas suizas, 8 00:00:19,628 --> 00:00:22,065 and huevos motuleños for breakfast. 9 00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:24,328 You made this? 10 00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:25,808 The way you say the names 11 00:00:25,808 --> 00:00:27,331 of this traditional Mexican breakfast 12 00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:28,811 sounds different from Mom's, 13 00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:30,204 but it tastes exactly like it. 14 00:00:30,204 --> 00:00:31,509 My secret? 15 00:00:31,509 --> 00:00:33,207 I always have Jeff make it. 16 00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:34,512 Another secret? 17 00:00:34,512 --> 00:00:38,516 "Huevos" is Spanish for eggs and balls! 18 00:00:38,516 --> 00:00:40,083 Jeff, you shouldn't be staying up 19 00:00:40,083 --> 00:00:42,085 all night doing chores for my mom. 20 00:00:42,085 --> 00:00:43,869 Especially before we celebrate our anniversary! 21 00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:45,567 Our wedding's birthday! 22 00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:48,091 Sure. So let's be well-rested 23 00:00:48,091 --> 00:00:50,267 for our wedding birthday dinner tomorrow. 24 00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:52,835 And for the festivities after. 25 00:00:52,835 --> 00:00:55,577 It's our weird sex stuff birthday, too. 26 00:00:55,577 --> 00:00:57,666 Not to me, Jeff. Okay! 27 00:00:57,666 --> 00:00:59,711 I've just finished designing my costume 28 00:00:59,711 --> 00:01:01,670 for the CIA costume party. 29 00:01:01,670 --> 00:01:03,541 And this is how I'll be going! 30 00:01:05,543 --> 00:01:06,718 I don't know what I'm looking at. 31 00:01:06,718 --> 00:01:09,286 You're looking at Chicken Baby. 32 00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:10,374 Chicken Baby! 33 00:01:10,374 --> 00:01:11,810 Dad, I don't think anyone 34 00:01:11,810 --> 00:01:14,248 at the CIA is going to understand your costume. 35 00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:16,293 Chicken Baby is... 36 00:01:16,293 --> 00:01:18,295 - not a thing. -"Nothing is a thing 37 00:01:18,295 --> 00:01:20,254 until it happens for the first time." 38 00:01:20,254 --> 00:01:22,125 Do you know who said that, Steve? 39 00:01:22,125 --> 00:01:23,257 Chicken Baby. 40 00:01:23,257 --> 00:01:24,823 Welcome aboard, Steve. 41 00:01:28,566 --> 00:01:31,526 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A.♪ 42 00:01:31,526 --> 00:01:35,356 ♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day♪ 43 00:01:35,356 --> 00:01:38,576 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face♪ 44 00:01:38,576 --> 00:01:42,450 ♪ And he's shinin' a salute to the American race♪ 45 00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:47,846 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say♪ 46 00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:50,153 -♪ Good--♪ -♪ Good morning, U.S.A.♪ 47 00:01:50,153 --> 00:01:51,241 Aah! 48 00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:56,159 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A.♪ 49 00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:01,425 Jeff, we're gonna be late for our dinner reservation! 50 00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:03,906 Well, hello Miss Unobstructed Forehead! 51 00:02:05,951 --> 00:02:07,779 And who is this persona? 52 00:02:07,779 --> 00:02:10,739 Oh, this is no persona, this is an homage. 53 00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:13,698 To my favorite man, Tony Mendez. 54 00:02:13,698 --> 00:02:15,961 Was he... one of those two brothers 55 00:02:15,961 --> 00:02:17,485 who killed their parents? 56 00:02:17,485 --> 00:02:19,226 No, those were the Menendez brothers. 57 00:02:19,226 --> 00:02:21,271 Both way hotter than this guy. 58 00:02:21,271 --> 00:02:24,622 Tony Mendez is who Ben Affleck played in Argo-- 59 00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:28,757 1979, dude made a fake movie to fly hostages out of Iran. 60 00:02:28,757 --> 00:02:31,455 And planes didn't even exist before that! 61 00:02:31,455 --> 00:02:33,936 Tony Mendez made the first airplane! 62 00:02:33,936 --> 00:02:35,590 That... isn't true. 63 00:02:35,590 --> 00:02:38,288 Ah, you got me. Just trying a lie. 64 00:02:38,288 --> 00:02:39,898 Anyhoo, I'm celebrating the opening 65 00:02:39,898 --> 00:02:43,250 of an Argo Museum in Fargo, North Dakota. 66 00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,469 Apparently, they tried to put it in Argo, Alabama, 67 00:02:45,469 --> 00:02:46,818 but there was already a museum 68 00:02:46,818 --> 00:02:48,733 dedicated to the movie Fargo there. 69 00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:50,648 Jeff, get down here! 70 00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:52,650 I can't hear any more about Tony Mendez! 71 00:02:52,650 --> 00:02:55,827 He was a Scorpio and he hated mushrooms. 72 00:02:55,827 --> 00:02:56,915 - One sec, babe. -♪ Let me see that thong♪ 73 00:02:56,915 --> 00:02:57,873 I just need to finish recording 74 00:02:57,873 --> 00:03:00,005 this song off the radio. 75 00:03:00,005 --> 00:03:03,313 It's the last song I need for Klaus's mixtape for Danuta. 76 00:03:03,313 --> 00:03:04,445 ♪ Thong, thong--♪ 77 00:03:04,445 --> 00:03:06,403 Now you're doing favors for Klaus?! 78 00:03:06,403 --> 00:03:09,537 I believe "favors" means they'll be returned. 79 00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:11,669 - I get nothing! - Oh, my God, babe. 80 00:03:11,669 --> 00:03:13,758 You are such a people-pleaser! 81 00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:15,543 - Thank you. - It's not a compliment. 82 00:03:15,543 --> 00:03:16,892 - It's really not. - Roger! 83 00:03:16,892 --> 00:03:19,503 All right, consider me... gone, girl! 84 00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:21,723 Another great Ben Affleck film. 85 00:03:21,723 --> 00:03:24,900 If you excuse me, I'm off to The Town. 86 00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:27,729 To bang some Mallrats. 87 00:03:27,729 --> 00:03:29,948 Jeff, you gotta learn how to say no! 88 00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:32,864 I told Klaus I was celebrating with you, 89 00:03:32,864 --> 00:03:34,779 but he said making the mixtape 90 00:03:34,779 --> 00:03:36,781 was the most important thing in the world to him 91 00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:39,915 but he didn't feel like doing it himself because it's boring. 92 00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:42,526 I couldn't say no! What if he got mad at me?! 93 00:03:42,526 --> 00:03:44,876 Who cares if Klaus gets mad at you? 94 00:03:44,876 --> 00:03:47,879 But when someone's mad at me, I get so anxious! 95 00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:49,620 Look, bottom line-- 96 00:03:49,620 --> 00:03:51,535 you need to do what you want, 97 00:03:51,535 --> 00:03:53,363 not what other people want you to do. 98 00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:54,973 All right, that won't be hard. 99 00:03:54,973 --> 00:03:57,062 Great! Now put on this shirt for dinner. 100 00:03:57,062 --> 00:03:58,803 You know you're not supposed to choose your own clothes. 101 00:03:58,803 --> 00:04:00,370 You got it, babe! 102 00:04:02,981 --> 00:04:05,897 Finally, I get you all to myself. 103 00:04:05,897 --> 00:04:09,292 Nobody coming around, being like "Duh, Jeff, 104 00:04:09,292 --> 00:04:10,728 chew my food, wipe my butt." 105 00:04:12,904 --> 00:04:14,297 Oh, no, your shirt! 106 00:04:14,297 --> 00:04:15,603 Whoops! 107 00:04:15,603 --> 00:04:17,039 It's just, when you do voices, 108 00:04:17,039 --> 00:04:18,910 they're spot-on! 109 00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:22,697 But who are they? 110 00:04:24,568 --> 00:04:25,961 Hey! 111 00:04:25,961 --> 00:04:27,005 You look like me! 112 00:04:27,005 --> 00:04:28,529 No, I don't. 113 00:04:28,529 --> 00:04:30,531 I look like Jonathan Taylor Thomas! 114 00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:32,576 And I thought the manager said we couldn't do our laundry here. 115 00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:37,320 Hey, new guy! I said no laundry! 116 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:38,800 Me? I don't-- 117 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:39,975 I just spilled on my-- 118 00:04:39,975 --> 00:04:41,411 You spilled on your shirt, 119 00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:42,630 and now you're doing laundry 120 00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:44,066 like I asked you not to! 121 00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:45,807 Well, yeah, but-- 122 00:04:45,807 --> 00:04:47,939 Are you trying to make me mad? 123 00:04:47,939 --> 00:04:49,419 Are you not mad already? 124 00:04:49,419 --> 00:04:52,553 Get back in the kitchen or I'll be really mad! 125 00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:54,424 Okay, boss! 126 00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:56,121 Hey! What's that sloshing?! 127 00:04:56,121 --> 00:04:58,820 You better not be an employee doing laundry in there! 128 00:04:58,820 --> 00:05:02,389 Uh... nope! Just a horny customer jerking off! 129 00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:03,955 Very good, sir. 130 00:05:03,955 --> 00:05:06,523 Thank you choosing Mama Mangia's. 131 00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:11,615 Whoa! 132 00:05:11,615 --> 00:05:13,574 Look at that hot-ass dad 133 00:05:13,574 --> 00:05:14,966 - wearing the-- - Did somebody say 134 00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:17,752 "hot-ass dad wearing the perfect costume"? 135 00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:19,841 Stan, you stepped on my line. 136 00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:21,016 Take it from the top. 137 00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:24,149 - Did someone say-- - Stan! 138 00:05:24,149 --> 00:05:25,847 You're not giving me time to say it! 139 00:05:25,847 --> 00:05:26,935 You know what? Forget it. 140 00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:28,153 This is just for Steve's benefit. 141 00:05:28,153 --> 00:05:29,633 My benefit? 142 00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:30,895 Huh-ho! 143 00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:32,419 Wow! 144 00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:33,942 What am I lookin' at?! 145 00:05:33,942 --> 00:05:35,030 Right? Right? 146 00:05:35,030 --> 00:05:36,988 Chicken Baby in the flesh. 147 00:05:36,988 --> 00:05:39,034 Did I nail it or what?! 148 00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:41,471 And instead of milk, 149 00:05:41,471 --> 00:05:43,778 Kool-Aid and... Everclear? 150 00:05:43,778 --> 00:05:45,562 Nothing but the best for the best-dressed, 151 00:05:45,562 --> 00:05:47,477 no-stress, feeling young and blessed. 152 00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:48,957 Dad, I'm worried you're gonna spend all night 153 00:05:48,957 --> 00:05:50,480 explaining your costume. 154 00:05:50,480 --> 00:05:52,439 Oh, okay, I see-- 155 00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:53,831 You're jealous. 156 00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:55,485 Aw, it's so sad. 157 00:05:55,485 --> 00:05:57,835 But I forgive you, because as everyone knows, 158 00:05:57,835 --> 00:06:01,535 Chicken Baby has a big heart full of forgiveness. 159 00:06:01,535 --> 00:06:03,058 So go [bleep] yourself. 160 00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:10,544 And there's Stiles as a werewolf! 161 00:06:10,544 --> 00:06:12,589 Better check your moon schedule 162 00:06:12,589 --> 00:06:14,678 before you go camping with this guy! 163 00:06:14,678 --> 00:06:17,028 And look, Dick's a scarecrow! 164 00:06:17,028 --> 00:06:20,423 Wouldn't hurt to check your moon schedule about him too. 165 00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:23,948 In fact, it's startin' to seem like these moon schedule 166 00:06:23,948 --> 00:06:27,604 party favors aren't as stupid as people first thought! 167 00:06:29,476 --> 00:06:30,912 Bloody hell, Smith! 168 00:06:30,912 --> 00:06:32,522 What are you?! 169 00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:33,610 Probably should have checked 170 00:06:33,610 --> 00:06:35,046 your moon schedule 171 00:06:35,046 --> 00:06:37,527 before you chose that getup! 172 00:06:38,963 --> 00:06:42,967 These 2017 moon schedules, right?! 173 00:06:42,967 --> 00:06:45,143 Indispensable! 174 00:06:47,711 --> 00:06:49,583 The manager's a real tyrant, huh? 175 00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:52,934 Tell me about it, he's making me work on my anniversary. 176 00:06:52,934 --> 00:06:54,892 - Jeff! - Customer in the kitchen! 177 00:06:54,892 --> 00:06:56,154 Hide! 178 00:06:56,154 --> 00:06:57,547 What are you doing?! 179 00:06:57,547 --> 00:06:58,940 You left me alone so long 180 00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:00,507 I watched The Irishman 181 00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:01,986 in its entirety on my phone! 182 00:07:01,986 --> 00:07:03,161 I'm so sorry, babe! 183 00:07:03,161 --> 00:07:05,903 The manager asked me to wash dishes, 184 00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:08,645 and then something came up with, um, with... 185 00:07:08,645 --> 00:07:09,994 Jane's babysitter. 186 00:07:09,994 --> 00:07:12,736 Jane. So she asked me to cover for her. 187 00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:15,086 And I didn't know she was working a double! 188 00:07:15,086 --> 00:07:18,263 Jeff-- table, now. 189 00:07:18,263 --> 00:07:20,570 Hey, If I don't see you again, 190 00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:22,180 I just wanted to say, 191 00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:24,182 thanks for telling me about all the girls 192 00:07:24,182 --> 00:07:26,750 you banged at Christian camp. 193 00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:28,796 Do you understand what I'm saying, Jeff? 194 00:07:28,796 --> 00:07:31,233 Have you said all the parts? 195 00:07:31,233 --> 00:07:32,930 - Get back in the kitchen! - Okay. 196 00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:34,932 - Jeff! Sit down! - Okay. 197 00:07:34,932 --> 00:07:36,194 It's happening! 198 00:07:36,194 --> 00:07:39,589 I'm getting angry! 199 00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:42,810 Aah! Jeff doesn't work here, you moron! 200 00:07:42,810 --> 00:07:45,073 He's just a people-pleaser who can't say no! 201 00:07:45,073 --> 00:07:46,204 My bad! 202 00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:48,511 Thank you for choosing Mama Mangia's! 203 00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:53,734 Jeff! You gotta stop doing what everyone else wants. 204 00:07:53,734 --> 00:07:55,953 You're not just a monkey taking orders. 205 00:07:55,953 --> 00:07:58,782 But I like doing what makes other people happy. 206 00:07:58,782 --> 00:08:01,132 That's my reason for doing anything. 207 00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:02,873 Plus, I like monkeys! 208 00:08:02,873 --> 00:08:05,963 What about tonight? Our "wedding's birthday"? 209 00:08:05,963 --> 00:08:07,182 Did you want this? 210 00:08:07,182 --> 00:08:09,097 Well, you asked me to marry you! 211 00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:10,664 I what. 212 00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:12,535 You proposed to me. 213 00:08:12,535 --> 00:08:13,754 I thought you wanted-- 214 00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,625 I was talking about where we're eating, 215 00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,801 not our whole marriage! 216 00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:19,629 Oh-ho, good. 217 00:08:19,629 --> 00:08:20,674 Whew. 218 00:08:20,674 --> 00:08:21,979 The restaurant? 219 00:08:21,979 --> 00:08:23,024 No. 220 00:08:23,024 --> 00:08:24,721 Mmm... no. 221 00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:26,636 I can't believe you only married me 222 00:08:26,636 --> 00:08:28,595 because I asked you to. 223 00:08:29,857 --> 00:08:31,815 Babe, wait! 224 00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:33,164 Could you keep it down, please?! 225 00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:35,558 I'm jerking off really hard right now. 226 00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:39,823 Oh, hey, Jeff. 227 00:08:39,823 --> 00:08:40,868 What's up, sad-ass? 228 00:08:40,868 --> 00:08:42,826 I messed up. 229 00:08:42,826 --> 00:08:44,349 And now Hayley's worried 230 00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:46,656 I just married her because she wanted me to. 231 00:08:46,656 --> 00:08:48,005 But that's what happened, right? 232 00:08:48,005 --> 00:08:49,659 Yeah... 233 00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:52,183 But I also married her because I wanted me to. 234 00:08:52,183 --> 00:08:54,185 I love babe. 235 00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:56,231 She called me a people pleaser. 236 00:08:56,231 --> 00:08:58,189 Which turns out is a bad thing! 237 00:08:58,189 --> 00:09:00,931 Whoa, bad things are harsh. 238 00:09:00,931 --> 00:09:02,803 Hey, could you give me a hand plucking these 239 00:09:02,803 --> 00:09:04,587 strawberry seeds out of my toothbrushes? 240 00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:07,068 My fingers are sore from piano lessons. 241 00:09:07,068 --> 00:09:09,636 Sounds like you have to show Hayley you're capable of making 242 00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:11,333 a self- motivated decision. 243 00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:13,291 - Is that what I gotta do? - Yes. 244 00:09:13,291 --> 00:09:16,251 And you can do that by choosing to do something no one 245 00:09:16,251 --> 00:09:17,861 in the world would want to do but you. 246 00:09:17,861 --> 00:09:19,733 My heart's desire! 247 00:09:19,733 --> 00:09:21,256 Yes! 248 00:09:21,256 --> 00:09:22,779 But what is that? 249 00:09:22,779 --> 00:09:24,607 I can't tell you that, Jeff. 250 00:09:24,607 --> 00:09:26,217 But this little bag can. 251 00:09:26,217 --> 00:09:28,306 - Is that drugs? - Yes. 252 00:09:28,306 --> 00:09:31,222 I love when drugs are the solution! 253 00:09:34,399 --> 00:09:36,358 Your costume is a failure. 254 00:09:37,794 --> 00:09:40,841 You're a big, stupid idiot, Stan. 255 00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:43,757 Time to tear up this Mensa membership card. 256 00:09:43,757 --> 00:09:45,802 Men's spa?! 257 00:09:45,802 --> 00:09:48,675 Oh, that's why no one wanted to do anagrams 258 00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:50,111 with me in the steam room. 259 00:09:54,898 --> 00:09:56,900 Whoa, it's Chicken Baby! 260 00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:57,988 Great costume! 261 00:09:57,988 --> 00:10:00,208 Who said thaaaaa... 262 00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:05,822 My name is Shaman Randy, 263 00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:08,695 you may know me as the part-time lifeguard at the Y. 264 00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:11,045 I was full-time but they cut my hours. 265 00:10:11,045 --> 00:10:13,700 Guess they don't care if kids drown from 7:00 to 9:00. 266 00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:18,922 This is Mother Ayahuasca. 267 00:10:18,922 --> 00:10:22,273 And on today's journey she will show you your heart's desire. 268 00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:25,146 And mess you up real good. 269 00:10:25,146 --> 00:10:27,017 Ayahuasca's so powerful, 270 00:10:27,017 --> 00:10:29,193 it costs ten whole dollars 271 00:10:29,193 --> 00:10:32,675 for a container this big at Whole Foods. 272 00:10:32,675 --> 00:10:34,938 Tuttle's confusing ayahuasca with açaí berries 273 00:10:34,938 --> 00:10:36,200 I'm not correcting him. 274 00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,941 Now ayahuasca can make you 275 00:10:37,941 --> 00:10:39,421 feel a little like vomiting. 276 00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:41,684 But as the Dalai Lama famously said, 277 00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:44,252 "the more you throw up, the more you grow up." 278 00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:46,689 And then he famously threw up. 279 00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:47,995 Namaste. 280 00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:51,346 Shaman Randy? 281 00:10:51,346 --> 00:10:53,087 Please, call me Shaman Randy. 282 00:10:53,087 --> 00:10:54,871 When will it kick in? 283 00:10:54,871 --> 00:10:55,959 I don't feel any-- 284 00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:59,136 differreeennnt... 285 00:11:02,792 --> 00:11:04,489 ♪ Quando o coracao para♪ 286 00:11:04,489 --> 00:11:06,840 Make my chilaquiles, bitch! 287 00:11:06,840 --> 00:11:10,234 ♪ A eternidade começa♪ 288 00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:11,322 Aah! Oooh-ooh! 289 00:11:11,322 --> 00:11:14,108 Mix tape! "Thong Song"! 290 00:11:14,108 --> 00:11:17,851 ♪ Quando o ritmo cessa♪ 291 00:11:17,851 --> 00:11:22,246 ♪ An be ta anga yalahoula♪ 292 00:11:22,246 --> 00:11:25,815 ♪ Kiléganfai yalahoula♪ 293 00:11:25,815 --> 00:11:27,034 ♪ An be ta anga koumahoula♪ 294 00:11:27,034 --> 00:11:27,991 Ooh-ooh! Shave me! 295 00:11:27,991 --> 00:11:29,732 Shave my monkey balls! 296 00:11:29,732 --> 00:11:30,994 I'm supposed to be Chicken Baby! 297 00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:32,300 Everybody knows! 298 00:11:32,300 --> 00:11:35,172 ♪ An be ta anga baro la♪ 299 00:11:35,172 --> 00:11:36,826 Moon schedules! 300 00:11:36,826 --> 00:11:38,132 Get your indispensable 301 00:11:38,132 --> 00:11:39,742 moon schedules! 302 00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:41,178 Aah! 303 00:11:47,532 --> 00:11:51,188 I know what I want! I know what I want! 304 00:11:51,188 --> 00:11:53,756 I know what I wanna do! 305 00:11:55,323 --> 00:11:56,890 Yes, yes, that's quite common. 306 00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:59,196 More have to than want to. 307 00:11:59,196 --> 00:12:02,765 No, I know how to show Hayley I'm capable of doing things 308 00:12:02,765 --> 00:12:04,854 just because I want to do them. 309 00:12:04,854 --> 00:12:06,943 I'm gonna drive a plane 310 00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:08,815 across America! 311 00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:11,252 Wow! I need you to wipe your mouth immediately. 312 00:12:11,252 --> 00:12:13,384 And you don't mean "fly" a plane? 313 00:12:13,384 --> 00:12:17,345 No. My license is for driving. 314 00:12:17,345 --> 00:12:19,564 I'm going to taxi across the country, 315 00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:21,871 right back into Hayley's heart. 316 00:12:21,871 --> 00:12:23,046 Well, I gotta hand it to you. 317 00:12:23,046 --> 00:12:24,787 That's certainly something no one else 318 00:12:24,787 --> 00:12:27,921 in the history of time has ever wanted to do. 319 00:12:27,921 --> 00:12:29,270 But there's just the small matter 320 00:12:29,270 --> 00:12:31,011 of where to get a plane... 321 00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:32,882 They have a ton of them at the airport. 322 00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:35,015 You know what, I could give ya my old plane. 323 00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:36,886 It's just been sitting gathering dust. 324 00:12:36,886 --> 00:12:38,148 Really? 325 00:12:38,148 --> 00:12:40,063 If Jeff gets a plane, 326 00:12:40,063 --> 00:12:42,022 can I get an Amen?! 327 00:12:42,022 --> 00:12:44,067 - Amen! - Amen! 328 00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:49,377 Wait, stop, stop! 329 00:12:49,377 --> 00:12:51,118 It's okay, sir, you hit your head pretty hard, 330 00:12:51,118 --> 00:12:52,423 but you're gonna be fine. 331 00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:54,208 No! No I'm not! 332 00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:56,427 My son... he thinks so little of me. 333 00:12:56,427 --> 00:12:58,560 Well, that's pretty common. 334 00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:01,041 No, somebody recognized my costume! 335 00:13:01,041 --> 00:13:03,086 It wasn't us... 336 00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:04,435 But there was a guy in here! 337 00:13:06,916 --> 00:13:08,178 A shoe! 338 00:13:08,178 --> 00:13:09,136 Whoever was in that stall 339 00:13:09,136 --> 00:13:10,615 got my costume, 340 00:13:10,615 --> 00:13:12,226 and when he ran out to share the good news, 341 00:13:12,226 --> 00:13:13,401 he lost his shoe. 342 00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:15,533 He's my Cinderella! 343 00:13:15,533 --> 00:13:18,232 No one's leaving this party until I find him. 344 00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:21,322 When it's a man you say Cinderfella, you bigot! 345 00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:26,936 Hayley, did you hide my driving cane? 346 00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:28,372 I'll hide it up your ass if you don't get out of here. 347 00:13:28,372 --> 00:13:30,505 I'm sorry, Klaus. 348 00:13:30,505 --> 00:13:32,463 I-- I don't even know if my husband 349 00:13:32,463 --> 00:13:33,900 wanted to marry me. 350 00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,292 Wow! 351 00:13:35,292 --> 00:13:37,904 I'm touched you would open up to me about this. 352 00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:40,254 And fortunately, I have some advice 353 00:13:40,254 --> 00:13:43,257 that'll solve-- 354 00:13:43,257 --> 00:13:45,128 - Aah! - What the hell?! 355 00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:50,873 Well, babe, I guess it's pretty obvious 356 00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:52,266 what this means! 357 00:13:52,266 --> 00:13:54,398 No! Not even a little bit! 358 00:13:54,398 --> 00:13:57,924 I'm driving this thing to North Dakota 359 00:13:57,924 --> 00:14:02,885 to remove any doubt about the sincerity of my wedding vows! 360 00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:06,236 That sounds kind of unnecessary bordering on stupid! 361 00:14:06,236 --> 00:14:07,890 I'm glad you think so! 362 00:14:07,890 --> 00:14:11,546 'Cause that proves I'm doing it for me! 363 00:14:11,546 --> 00:14:13,678 Whoa! 364 00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:16,507 Wonder where he's going in such a hurry. 365 00:14:16,507 --> 00:14:18,683 I'm flying this car to Fort Lauderdale 366 00:14:18,683 --> 00:14:21,338 to prove to my wife I love her! 367 00:14:21,338 --> 00:14:22,513 That's sweet. 368 00:14:26,169 --> 00:14:28,911 His wife is gonna be so happy. 369 00:14:31,348 --> 00:14:33,350 So I don't know if my marriage is even real. 370 00:14:33,350 --> 00:14:35,526 Of course Jeff said "I do," 371 00:14:35,526 --> 00:14:36,701 but he never says no to anything! 372 00:14:36,701 --> 00:14:37,920 Oh, totally! 373 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:39,400 I dared him to kiss a bat-- 374 00:14:39,400 --> 00:14:40,314 and he did! 375 00:14:43,143 --> 00:14:45,623 He also mounted our TV and hung the picture frames 376 00:14:45,623 --> 00:14:47,930 and got rid of the dead bat in the back of the refrigerator. 377 00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,149 This bat's dead? 378 00:14:49,149 --> 00:14:51,020 No, that's a different bat. 379 00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:52,413 Our other bat. 380 00:14:52,413 --> 00:14:54,067 Look, what I'm trying to say is, 381 00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:55,546 I don't even know if Jeff loves me. 382 00:14:55,546 --> 00:14:57,418 Because of the bat? 383 00:14:57,418 --> 00:14:59,289 - No. - Of course he loves you. 384 00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:01,422 He won't shut up about you! 385 00:15:01,422 --> 00:15:03,990 Oh my god, Nerf, check out this bat. 386 00:15:03,990 --> 00:15:05,687 Is he freaking gorgeous or what? 387 00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:07,558 Oh, my God, get it! 388 00:15:07,558 --> 00:15:10,387 He's $6,000 though... 389 00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:11,475 Screw it, I'm getting it. 390 00:15:11,475 --> 00:15:13,521 - I got it. It's done. - Wait, guys! 391 00:15:13,521 --> 00:15:15,349 What do you mean Jeff won't shut up about me? 392 00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:16,567 Do you guys talk to him a lot? 393 00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:19,179 Yeah, mostly when he's trimming my bush. 394 00:15:19,179 --> 00:15:20,180 He always makes it about you. 395 00:15:20,180 --> 00:15:21,442 When he whats your what now?! 396 00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:25,663 Oh, my God! 397 00:15:25,663 --> 00:15:27,404 Look, Jeff's always gonna be 398 00:15:27,404 --> 00:15:30,016 a people pleaser, that's just who he is. 399 00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:32,235 But if you don't realize he loves you, 400 00:15:32,235 --> 00:15:35,325 - you are batshit crazy. - Hey, look! 401 00:15:35,325 --> 00:15:38,024 Someone's driving a big metal bat on the highway! 402 00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:40,417 For those of you who just unmuted your TVs, 403 00:15:40,417 --> 00:15:43,333 yes, someone is driving a plane down the road, 404 00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:45,205 causing incredible damage. 405 00:15:45,205 --> 00:15:47,772 Eye witnesses say it even tore through a Foot Locker, 406 00:15:47,772 --> 00:15:51,341 exposing that they do, in fact, have your size in the back. 407 00:15:51,341 --> 00:15:53,561 Now let's throw it over to Memphis, 408 00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:55,998 who, like the plane, is down on the ground. 409 00:15:55,998 --> 00:15:57,434 Y'hate to see it, Greg. 410 00:15:57,434 --> 00:16:00,742 Six adult bookstores, completely decimated. 411 00:16:00,742 --> 00:16:03,005 What was once the heartbeat of Langley, 412 00:16:03,005 --> 00:16:07,270 affectionately known as Skin Alley, is now no more. 413 00:16:07,270 --> 00:16:10,012 And now I'm standing next to a man who seems to think 414 00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:11,796 I'm going to interview him, but I'm not. 415 00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:13,276 Back to you! 416 00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:18,760 This just feels good! 417 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,370 I'm following my heart, 418 00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:23,025 showing babe that what we have is real. 419 00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:25,288 And I'm in the middle of 420 00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:27,725 a knife fight with Jesus. 421 00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:30,119 It's babe! 422 00:16:30,119 --> 00:16:32,295 Wait, this isn't safe. 423 00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:34,254 I should be in airplane mode. 424 00:16:35,516 --> 00:16:38,127 I'm switching to airplane mode, too. 425 00:16:38,127 --> 00:16:40,738 I'm dying! 426 00:16:42,175 --> 00:16:43,480 That's everybody's shoes? 427 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:44,829 Yeah, Stan, you did it. 428 00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:47,310 No one is wearing shoes. 429 00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:49,791 I don't like that tone, Dick, I'm not being stupid. 430 00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:51,793 I'm looking for my Cinderella shoe match. 431 00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:54,317 Where are the hostage negotiators? 432 00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:55,405 Over there. 433 00:16:55,405 --> 00:16:57,364 Why aren't we using them? 434 00:16:57,364 --> 00:16:58,756 Cuz they blew out their voices singing 435 00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:00,715 "Livin' On A Prayer" in the karaoke room. 436 00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:02,543 That was them?! 437 00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:04,066 It was worth it. 438 00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:05,633 But we've contacted Smith's family 439 00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:07,461 and someone's coming to talk him down. 440 00:17:09,593 --> 00:17:11,639 Oh, boy. Dad? 441 00:17:11,639 --> 00:17:13,467 Is everything okay? 442 00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:14,511 Oh yeah. 443 00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:16,078 Better than okay, Steve. 444 00:17:16,078 --> 00:17:17,688 Contrary to what you thought, 445 00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:20,082 someone recognized my costume. 446 00:17:20,082 --> 00:17:22,084 And the... 447 00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:24,434 The shoes are for what, Dad? 448 00:17:24,434 --> 00:17:26,349 I'm looking for my Cinderella-- 449 00:17:26,349 --> 00:17:29,483 the man who recognized my costume left a shoe behind. 450 00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:31,528 Couldn't you have just looked for the person with one shoe? 451 00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:33,878 Millennials, always taking the easy way. 452 00:17:33,878 --> 00:17:35,619 And you-- 453 00:17:35,619 --> 00:17:38,709 you're only wearing one shoe, Dad. 454 00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:47,892 So your Cinderella is... 455 00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:49,329 Me. 456 00:17:49,329 --> 00:17:51,679 So that must mean my subconscious told me 457 00:17:51,679 --> 00:17:54,682 how kickass my costume was before I passed out. 458 00:17:54,682 --> 00:17:56,336 I guess I should feel lucky to have 459 00:17:56,336 --> 00:17:58,512 such a supportive subconscious. 460 00:17:58,512 --> 00:17:59,556 Great, Dad. 461 00:17:59,556 --> 00:18:00,905 So can everybody go home 462 00:18:00,905 --> 00:18:02,472 to their families then? 463 00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:04,648 Not quite yet, Steve. 464 00:18:04,648 --> 00:18:07,129 Maybe you guys didn't know I was Chicken Baby, 465 00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:08,652 but I knew. 466 00:18:08,652 --> 00:18:09,827 And that was the lesson 467 00:18:09,827 --> 00:18:11,699 I was trying to teach my son. 468 00:18:11,699 --> 00:18:13,179 Teach all of you really. 469 00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:15,398 Because if you know who you are in here-- 470 00:18:15,398 --> 00:18:17,270 Uh-oh, here comes the tranquilizer. 471 00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:18,749 Then it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks of you 472 00:18:18,749 --> 00:18:20,751 Chicken Baby's a metaphor for being yourself-- 473 00:18:22,405 --> 00:18:24,407 Let the party continue! 474 00:18:24,407 --> 00:18:26,757 We still have the photo booth for an hour 475 00:18:26,757 --> 00:18:30,152 if anyone wants to wear a funny hat with me! 476 00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:31,197 Get off the road! 477 00:18:31,197 --> 00:18:32,589 You're making me late! 478 00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:34,548 Ever heard of flying, moron?! 479 00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:36,245 Sorry! 480 00:18:36,245 --> 00:18:38,421 I know Babe told me not to care 481 00:18:38,421 --> 00:18:40,249 if people are mad at me, 482 00:18:40,249 --> 00:18:41,685 but I do care! 483 00:18:41,685 --> 00:18:43,905 I can't not care! 484 00:18:43,905 --> 00:18:45,559 I give up! 485 00:19:05,883 --> 00:19:08,451 Tuttle, put some clothes on, bud. 486 00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:10,279 We're in mixed company. 487 00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:12,281 I don't wanna! 488 00:19:12,281 --> 00:19:14,196 Babe, we need to talk. 489 00:19:14,196 --> 00:19:16,546 No, babe, we need to talk. 490 00:19:16,546 --> 00:19:18,853 I tried my hardest to show you I love you, 491 00:19:18,853 --> 00:19:21,203 but I just got in everybody's way and they were honking 492 00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:22,683 and I felt terrible. 493 00:19:22,683 --> 00:19:24,511 I failed. 494 00:19:24,511 --> 00:19:26,687 If you don't want to be married to me, 495 00:19:26,687 --> 00:19:28,297 I understand. 496 00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:30,299 No, babe. Just the opposite. 497 00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:31,866 I love you, Jeff. 498 00:19:31,866 --> 00:19:33,824 And I know that being a people pleaser 499 00:19:33,824 --> 00:19:37,306 is just part of the whole beautiful package of Jeff. 500 00:19:37,306 --> 00:19:38,873 But I didn't prove I love you! 501 00:19:38,873 --> 00:19:40,353 You don't have to. 502 00:19:40,353 --> 00:19:42,224 Nerfer and Danuta did it for you. 503 00:19:42,224 --> 00:19:44,226 Aww, those guys are great. 504 00:19:44,226 --> 00:19:45,923 They let me kiss a bat! 505 00:19:45,923 --> 00:19:47,360 When you try to make people happy, 506 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:49,884 it's your way of showing you love them. 507 00:19:49,884 --> 00:19:52,278 And nobody could make me happier than you do. 508 00:19:56,499 --> 00:19:59,850 What in Tony Mendez's blessed name are you doing?! 509 00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:01,852 My girl Margot at the Argo Museum 510 00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:03,376 told me to turn on the news 511 00:20:03,376 --> 00:20:06,248 'cause there's an embargo on my cargo headed for Fargo! 512 00:20:06,248 --> 00:20:08,424 This plane needs to get to North Dakota 513 00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,252 or I'm not getting 400 bucks. 514 00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:11,514 Wait, this was your idea? 515 00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:13,560 As Jeff's ayahuasca shaman, 516 00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:16,345 I may have had a light hand in guiding him. 517 00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:21,785 Drive my plane to Fargo! 518 00:20:21,785 --> 00:20:23,352 That's your heart's desire! 519 00:20:23,352 --> 00:20:25,702 Okay? Drive my plane to Fargo! 520 00:20:25,702 --> 00:20:27,704 Heart's desire! 521 00:20:27,704 --> 00:20:29,706 So get back on the plane, Jeff! 522 00:20:29,706 --> 00:20:31,621 - You gotta get movin'! - No! 523 00:20:31,621 --> 00:20:34,276 Find somebody else to drive your plane! 524 00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:40,891 Never mind, I just spotted 525 00:20:40,891 --> 00:20:43,329 an extremely qualified candidate. 526 00:20:54,644 --> 00:20:56,603 Aah! 527 00:20:56,603 --> 00:20:57,647 Bye! Have a beautiful time!