1
00:00:01,175 --> 00:00:03,786
♪
2
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How about this Jamaican resort?
3
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We can escape the chilly
Langley winter
4
00:00:08,312 --> 00:00:10,662
at a heavily guarded
manmade beach!
5
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Or we could check out
6
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Willie Nelson's Museum
in Nashville.
7
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Dude loves weed and headbands!
8
00:00:15,667 --> 00:00:18,061
I've heard your input,
and I propose we do...
9
00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:20,716
none of those things!
10
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:22,761
You could've just
had me move that.
11
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The Smith clan shall vacation
in Rustic Pines!
12
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The quaint ski town?
13
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Where I used to go as a kid?
14
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I know that look on
everyone's face, Mr. S.
15
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They're about to yell,
16
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"Jeff, nobody has
any frickin' idea
17
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what you're talking about!"
18
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Picture it-- we'll wake up
with the sun,
19
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ski through peaceful woods,
a mountain breeze in our hair.
20
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ALL: Ahh.
21
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Then, we'll retire
to a tiny log cabin
22
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with no water or electricity
23
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and poop in an outhouse,
like God intended.
24
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ALL: Ugh!
25
00:00:56,621 --> 00:00:59,102
Honey, thumbs up
on the fun ski stuff,
26
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but thumbs down on the pooping
like an animal.
27
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,541
How about a nice hotel?
28
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Vacations aren't about
fancy-pants hotels
29
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with robot toilets.
30
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They're about getting away
from it all.
31
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I'll give it a try, Stan.
32
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Go with the flow,
that's what I always say.
33
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I guess, but this
"go" seems like it flows
34
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somewhere shitty.
35
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Your father has a different
idea of "fun"
36
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because his family grew up...
37
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I don't want to say "poor"--
38
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but with less money than
a family needs to not be poor.
39
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Poor?
I don't think so.
40
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In fact, my pops even bought me
a fake ID at age 6
41
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so I could sell my blood.
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In conclusion, not poor.
43
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What are you guys up to?
Never mind, don't care.
44
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I'm turning my alcove
into a home office,
45
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and its gonna be siiick!
46
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But, seriously,
what are you guys up to?
47
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Can I do it, too?
Pleeeease?
48
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So, "maybe," then?
49
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[patriotic music plays]
50
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♪ Good morning, U.S.A.♪
51
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♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day♪
52
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♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face♪
53
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♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race♪
54
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♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say♪
55
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- ♪ Good--♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A.♪
56
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Aah!
57
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♪ Good morning, U.S.A.♪
58
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♪
59
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Anyone see
"it all" around here?
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The answer is no because we
officially got away from that!
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[sniffs]
62
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Get a lung full of
this fresh mountain air.
63
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Huh. That actually
is kinda nice.
64
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I don't know.
65
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It all just smells
like squirrel farts to me.
66
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[squeaks] Shh!
67
00:02:47,602 --> 00:02:49,430
And if that's not
enough nature for you,
68
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the forecast calls
for an epic powder dump--
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00:02:52,084 --> 00:02:53,521
a skier's paradise.
70
00:02:56,741 --> 00:03:00,876
Prepare for total relaxation
in 3, 2--
71
00:03:03,574 --> 00:03:06,534
- That was relaxing.
- I don't get it.
72
00:03:06,577 --> 00:03:07,796
There's never traffic
heading into
73
00:03:07,839 --> 00:03:09,624
this little
nothing of a town.
74
00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:11,669
Someone must've hit a moose
or froze to death
75
00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:13,541
in their car
or something else picturesque.
76
00:03:17,153 --> 00:03:18,459
Welcome to heaven.
77
00:03:18,502 --> 00:03:19,851
When I was a kid, we had a game
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00:03:19,895 --> 00:03:21,897
to see who could touch
that sign first.
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And we're all playing it
right now!
80
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I win! Tee-hee!
81
00:03:27,076 --> 00:03:30,079
Log Cabin Sign Condos?
82
00:03:30,122 --> 00:03:32,690
Awesome!
Bet it has a pool!
83
00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:34,126
Bet it has one of
those little pools
84
00:03:34,170 --> 00:03:35,867
with super hot water!
85
00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:37,956
- You mean a hot tub?
- Maybe.
86
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,871
You know, where you go
like this!
87
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[slurping]
88
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- A soup bowl?
- No, that's hot tub, Mom.
89
00:03:45,007 --> 00:03:46,878
He always ends up
with some kind of GI issue.
90
00:03:46,922 --> 00:03:48,837
This place is terrible now!
91
00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,143
Stan, my dude, relax.
92
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You're not poor anymore.
You've earned a trip like this.
93
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We were never poor, you idiot!
94
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Oh, idiot, huh?
95
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Would an idiot-- Aah!
96
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,763
I said, would an idiot--
Aah!
97
00:04:01,806 --> 00:04:04,069
Never mind.
I've ruined my quick comeback.
98
00:04:06,985 --> 00:04:08,291
We've been
in this line so long,
99
00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:10,598
I've named all the butts
in front of us.
100
00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:14,341
Droopy, Lumpy, Kinda Hot,
Mean Pumpkin.
101
00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:16,734
And the loudmouth of
the group, Fart Butt.
102
00:04:16,778 --> 00:04:19,520
Please tell me I'm either
Kinda Hot or Mean Pumpkin.
103
00:04:19,563 --> 00:04:22,392
Come on, be honest
with yourself.
104
00:04:22,436 --> 00:04:24,655
That chairlift line
is moving just fine!
105
00:04:24,699 --> 00:04:26,266
Oh, hey, guys, I found you!
106
00:04:26,309 --> 00:04:27,528
Ew, Stan,
107
00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:29,660
what are those
Fashion Don'ts on your feet?
108
00:04:29,704 --> 00:04:32,097
My dad had these
custom-made for me
109
00:04:32,141 --> 00:04:34,752
from our neighbor's
very expensive fence material.
110
00:04:34,796 --> 00:04:36,276
What's going on with your line?
111
00:04:36,319 --> 00:04:38,365
- Nobody's even wearing skis!
- Don't need 'em!
112
00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:40,845
My crew is all about
"après ski,"
113
00:04:40,889 --> 00:04:43,370
the party scene after skiing.
114
00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:46,503
Except we also do it before
skiing and instead of skiing.
115
00:04:46,547 --> 00:04:48,549
We're heading up
to a sick mountaintop club.
116
00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:50,072
I got you all express passes!
117
00:04:50,115 --> 00:04:52,030
Nobody wants your party passes.
118
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We're here to ski
and name butts,
119
00:04:54,424 --> 00:04:56,470
and we're all out of butts.
120
00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:58,036
- I'll take a pass!
- Oh, great.
121
00:04:58,080 --> 00:04:59,951
Fart Butt gets to go up.
122
00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:03,085
So, Fart Butt, is that short
for Fartholomew Buttons?
123
00:05:05,783 --> 00:05:08,569
The ultimate home office.
124
00:05:08,612 --> 00:05:10,527
Pens to sign
important documents,
125
00:05:10,571 --> 00:05:12,877
paperclips to clip
those documents together,
126
00:05:12,921 --> 00:05:16,316
and, of course,
a big-ass landline phone.
127
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No dial tone?
128
00:05:20,494 --> 00:05:23,105
Time to call tech support
and unleash hell!
129
00:05:24,019 --> 00:05:26,717
[beeping, line ringing]
130
00:05:26,761 --> 00:05:29,241
SARA: TeleStar support,
Sara speaking.
131
00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:31,896
Hey, Sara, your
shitty company sold me
132
00:05:31,940 --> 00:05:33,376
a defective phone!
133
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,813
I am so sorry
about that, sugar.
134
00:05:35,857 --> 00:05:38,381
And here I was upset
about the rain.
135
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:41,906
Well, it--
it's not your fault, Sara.
136
00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:44,039
And rain does kinda suck.
137
00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:46,128
[sighs]
Sorry I got so mad.
138
00:05:46,171 --> 00:05:48,522
It's okay.
I understand.
139
00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:51,568
You... understand me?
140
00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:53,135
Sure!
141
00:05:53,178 --> 00:05:54,745
This must be frustrating.
142
00:05:54,789 --> 00:05:56,356
It is!
143
00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:59,446
Wow, you really get me.
144
00:05:59,489 --> 00:06:02,013
So, what are you
up to tonight, Sara?
145
00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:03,450
[train whistle blowing]
146
00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:05,234
I'm sorry,
I-I didn't catch that.
147
00:06:05,277 --> 00:06:06,801
Oh, let me take you
off speaker--
148
00:06:06,844 --> 00:06:08,106
[beeping]
149
00:06:08,150 --> 00:06:09,673
- [screams]
- [beeping rapidly]
150
00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:11,806
- [line ringing]
- Sara! Come back to me!
151
00:06:11,849 --> 00:06:13,808
MINDY: TeleStar support,
Mindy speaking.
152
00:06:13,851 --> 00:06:15,418
Put Sara back on!
153
00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:17,464
I'm sorry, sir,
there's no Sara here.
154
00:06:17,507 --> 00:06:21,293
You see, TeleStar has agents
located all over the country--
155
00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:25,210
Sar-a-a-a-a-a!
156
00:06:27,909 --> 00:06:31,652
♪ I like to après, aprs♪
157
00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:35,003
Don't drink it, spray it!
158
00:06:35,046 --> 00:06:37,135
That's how you après ski!
159
00:06:37,179 --> 00:06:39,964
I'm such a good skier!
160
00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:43,141
MC Avalanche in the house!
161
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[music stops]
162
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[cheering]
163
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:56,111
Okay, gang, time for our first
and last run of the day,
164
00:06:56,154 --> 00:06:57,634
so let's make the best of--
165
00:06:57,678 --> 00:06:59,810
Whoo-hoo! Hey!
166
00:07:01,203 --> 00:07:02,900
Damn it, these morons
are everywhere!
167
00:07:02,944 --> 00:07:05,947
Here, Stan, the traditional
peace offering of my people.
168
00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:07,122
Join us.
169
00:07:09,037 --> 00:07:10,865
I pity you, Roger.
170
00:07:10,908 --> 00:07:13,084
Everyone in this family
but you is content
171
00:07:13,128 --> 00:07:14,738
to enjoy
the wonders of nature.
172
00:07:14,782 --> 00:07:16,610
Stan, get over here!
173
00:07:16,653 --> 00:07:20,440
The bartender lady will spray
beer right in your [bleep] face!
174
00:07:20,483 --> 00:07:22,659
I'm invoking vacation
veto power.
175
00:07:22,703 --> 00:07:25,357
Everyone get down here
and back in your skis!
176
00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:31,059
♪
177
00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:32,234
[record needle scratches]
178
00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,542
Sorry, y'all!
179
00:07:35,585 --> 00:07:40,024
Scratchin' ain't so easy
with m-m-m-mittens!
180
00:07:43,550 --> 00:07:47,031
Dad, this trip
sucks a fat hog.
181
00:07:47,075 --> 00:07:49,207
Climbing garbage
to get our skis?
182
00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:50,644
Can we just go home?
183
00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:52,515
Hey, I'm doing this
for you guys.
184
00:07:52,559 --> 00:07:53,864
I thought we could get away
185
00:07:53,908 --> 00:07:55,692
and find a little
quiet solitude.
186
00:07:59,304 --> 00:08:00,697
And beautiful views...
187
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:04,222
[sniffs]
188
00:08:04,266 --> 00:08:06,224
... and a mountain breeze...
189
00:08:07,095 --> 00:08:09,924
Aaaaaah!
190
00:08:09,967 --> 00:08:11,752
You read my mind, Steve!
191
00:08:11,795 --> 00:08:14,319
The rustic family ski trip
we've all been craving
192
00:08:14,363 --> 00:08:16,583
is right here-- at the dump!
193
00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:17,671
Aaaaah!
194
00:08:17,714 --> 00:08:19,150
Unh!
195
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:27,202
♪
196
00:08:28,943 --> 00:08:30,771
Cold penis!
197
00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:33,687
Steve, the dump won't be
a safe place to ski
198
00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:35,993
until you clear
the household appliances!
199
00:08:36,037 --> 00:08:37,908
Sorry, I was busy
getting this used condom
200
00:08:37,952 --> 00:08:39,040
out of my hair.
201
00:08:39,083 --> 00:08:40,563
A valid excuse.
202
00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:42,173
Honey, how's
the bunny slope coming?
203
00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:44,219
I think I found
some medical waste.
204
00:08:44,262 --> 00:08:46,569
That's the spirit!
My turn!
205
00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:47,744
Wheeeeee!
206
00:08:52,444 --> 00:08:55,360
Whoa. Cabin 3!
207
00:08:55,404 --> 00:08:57,624
These must be the logs
from the torn-down cabins
208
00:08:57,667 --> 00:08:58,712
I used to stay in!
209
00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:00,148
That's nice, Stan.
210
00:09:00,191 --> 00:09:02,411
So, the kids and I
have been talking,
211
00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:05,066
and maybe it's time we--
212
00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:06,241
Are you crying?
213
00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:10,506
It's just,
I wanna thank you for
214
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:13,378
letting me give you the vacation
I've always wanted to.
215
00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:15,816
I love you guys.
Sorry. You were saying?
216
00:09:15,859 --> 00:09:17,295
Um...
217
00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:20,951
I was saying we should
stay here and keep...
218
00:09:20,995 --> 00:09:23,214
- trashin' it up.
- Great idea!
219
00:09:23,258 --> 00:09:25,739
Let's all reconstruct Cabin 3!
220
00:09:25,782 --> 00:09:29,177
You know who else built a cabin?
Abraham Lincoln.
221
00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:30,265
He also got shot in the head,
222
00:09:30,308 --> 00:09:32,093
but not everyone
gets that lucky.
223
00:09:32,136 --> 00:09:34,356
MAN: Mr. Heisler,
I'm the highest-ranking
224
00:09:34,399 --> 00:09:35,923
support manager at TeleStar,
225
00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:39,404
and I'm not able to
"bring you Sara" even if you do
226
00:09:39,448 --> 00:09:43,583
"tweet my personal info to your
millions of rabid followers."
227
00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:45,976
Send a company-wide
e-mail to every Sara
228
00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:47,717
and tell them
the man of their dreams
229
00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:49,197
is searching for them!
230
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,895
Sir, I'm sorry you
can't figure out how
231
00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:54,202
to use your telephone
and fell in love with the woman
232
00:09:54,245 --> 00:09:56,857
who tried to help you,
but I'm hanging up now.
233
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:57,901
[beeping]
234
00:09:57,945 --> 00:09:59,294
[thudding]
235
00:09:59,337 --> 00:10:01,122
- Aah!
- Aah!
236
00:10:01,165 --> 00:10:02,558
What are you doing here?
237
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,387
Sometimes I miss Steve
when he's on vacation,
238
00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:07,650
so I just come over
and live here.
239
00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:10,479
I'm going
a little crazy myself.
240
00:10:10,522 --> 00:10:12,350
Yesterday I made
a love connection
241
00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:13,656
with a tech-support babe,
242
00:10:13,700 --> 00:10:16,528
but we got disconnected,
and I can't find her.
243
00:10:16,572 --> 00:10:19,793
Klaus, this is your lucky day.
244
00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:21,969
Years of looking for
my deadbeat dad made me
245
00:10:22,012 --> 00:10:24,101
an expert tracker.
246
00:10:24,145 --> 00:10:26,321
Tell me about your call.
247
00:10:26,364 --> 00:10:28,932
Well, I was mad about my phone,
248
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:30,934
and she was upset
it was raining--
249
00:10:30,978 --> 00:10:34,590
Stop. It only rained in nine
American cities yesterday.
250
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,113
You put on a pot of coffee,
251
00:10:36,157 --> 00:10:38,594
I'll scrub my search history
from Steve's computer.
252
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,552
We've got a girl to find.
253
00:10:40,596 --> 00:10:42,467
Guys, I've been thinking.
254
00:10:42,511 --> 00:10:44,426
Spraying champagne
is played out.
255
00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:45,645
It's time to innovate.
256
00:10:48,169 --> 00:10:49,997
[cheering]
257
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:53,565
Ha! Look at those losers
skiing on trash at the dump.
258
00:10:57,874 --> 00:11:00,442
[coughing]
259
00:11:00,485 --> 00:11:03,140
Oh, no! Stan is ruining
their vacation.
260
00:11:03,184 --> 00:11:04,272
I have to save them!
261
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:05,882
MAN: I'm innovating, too!
262
00:11:05,926 --> 00:11:07,492
Who wants a champagne enema?!
263
00:11:07,536 --> 00:11:08,711
A little later.
264
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:10,670
I have to save them
a little later.
265
00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:13,977
[wind whistling]
266
00:11:14,935 --> 00:11:17,328
[shivering]
267
00:11:17,372 --> 00:11:19,461
Guess who christened
the outhouse.
268
00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:21,463
It was me!
I destroyed it!
269
00:11:21,506 --> 00:11:23,683
Everything's destroyed
here, Dad. It's a dump.
270
00:11:24,771 --> 00:11:28,122
[gasps]
The powder dump begins.
271
00:11:28,949 --> 00:11:32,169
Tomorrow, we shall ski
upon pillows of fairy dust.
272
00:11:32,213 --> 00:11:33,562
We'll need plenty of rest,
273
00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:35,607
so it's time for everyone
to go to sleep.
274
00:11:35,651 --> 00:11:38,741
But it's so early!
Nobody's tired!
275
00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:41,048
Don't worry, I found
a gasoline-soaked rag
276
00:11:41,091 --> 00:11:42,310
we can all share.
277
00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:44,138
I'll use it first,
and when I pass out,
278
00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:46,401
you can remove it
from my face so I don't die.
279
00:11:46,444 --> 00:11:48,533
Then the next person
will take it, pass out,
280
00:11:48,577 --> 00:11:50,884
and so forth
in a round-robin system.
281
00:11:50,927 --> 00:11:53,190
But what about the last person?
282
00:11:55,105 --> 00:11:57,760
[shivering]
283
00:11:57,804 --> 00:11:58,674
[thud]
284
00:11:59,849 --> 00:12:01,372
A big snowball?
285
00:12:01,416 --> 00:12:02,765
Wait.
There's something in here.
286
00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:09,380
ROGER: "Dearest Smiths,
I bring news of a better life
287
00:12:09,424 --> 00:12:11,426
just a few hundred feet
above you,
288
00:12:11,469 --> 00:12:13,907
where the champagne
flows like wine,
289
00:12:13,950 --> 00:12:16,474
and the wine
also flows like wine.
290
00:12:16,518 --> 00:12:19,086
There's a lotta booze up here
is what I'm saying.
291
00:12:19,129 --> 00:12:20,522
And I have a plan.
292
00:12:24,221 --> 00:12:27,485
Did you get my big snowball note
about the plan?!
293
00:12:29,966 --> 00:12:32,752
The rain rules out everything
west of the Mississippi,
294
00:12:32,795 --> 00:12:35,972
and TeleStar has no offices
north of Philadelphia.
295
00:12:36,016 --> 00:12:38,018
You said Sara called
you "sugar."
296
00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:40,455
In a Southern accent--
the sweet kind,
297
00:12:40,498 --> 00:12:42,065
not the swamp-person kind.
298
00:12:42,109 --> 00:12:44,807
What else?
I need details, damn it!
299
00:12:44,851 --> 00:12:46,940
She was super into me,
300
00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:49,290
practically trying to bang me
over the phone--
301
00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:51,466
No made-up details.
302
00:12:51,509 --> 00:12:52,510
Sorry, you didn't specify.
303
00:12:54,338 --> 00:12:55,818
I heard a train whistle!
304
00:12:55,862 --> 00:12:57,907
[imitates train whistle]
305
00:12:57,951 --> 00:13:01,345
That's an Amtrak Viewliner 3850.
306
00:13:01,389 --> 00:13:03,870
Says here, "Only one left
in circulation,
307
00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:06,394
runs daily from
DC to Blacksburg."
308
00:13:06,437 --> 00:13:08,570
And at the time you called Sara,
309
00:13:08,613 --> 00:13:11,181
it was cruisin'
right through Roanoke.
310
00:13:13,575 --> 00:13:15,664
My true love works in Roanoke!
311
00:13:15,707 --> 00:13:17,100
They've got the best
Jersey Mike's!
312
00:13:17,144 --> 00:13:18,667
It's a match made in heaven!
313
00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:23,106
[wind whistling]
314
00:13:23,150 --> 00:13:25,892
[snoring]
315
00:13:25,935 --> 00:13:27,676
[coughs]
316
00:13:27,719 --> 00:13:29,852
Whoa. We're getting dusted
pretty good.
317
00:13:29,896 --> 00:13:31,419
I should make sure
they can breathe.
318
00:13:33,421 --> 00:13:35,815
[gasps]
This isn't Steve at all!
319
00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:37,338
It's a snowsteve!
320
00:13:37,381 --> 00:13:39,557
A steveman? A stevesnow?
321
00:13:40,994 --> 00:13:42,647
Hayley? Jeff?
322
00:13:44,388 --> 00:13:45,868
Francine, the kids snuck out
323
00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:48,218
and replaced themselves
with snowkids!
324
00:13:48,262 --> 00:13:50,525
Kidmen? Snowsnows?
325
00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:51,482
We gotta find them.
326
00:13:55,312 --> 00:13:57,140
[dance music playing]
327
00:13:58,794 --> 00:14:01,144
[cheering]
328
00:14:01,188 --> 00:14:06,758
♪
329
00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:08,935
One, two, three...
330
00:14:08,978 --> 00:14:10,371
shot ski!
331
00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:14,331
You've all betrayed me!
332
00:14:14,375 --> 00:14:17,334
My plan worked!
Stan's ready to join the fun!
333
00:14:17,378 --> 00:14:20,337
I dunno.
He's kinda got murder face.
334
00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:24,341
Roger I get, but the rest of you
are blood relatives.
335
00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:26,387
Well, technically,
only Steve and Hayley are,
336
00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:28,345
but Francine and me
do it all the time,
337
00:14:28,389 --> 00:14:30,260
and Jeff and I
became blood brothers
338
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:32,132
after we found that dead body
by the train tracks.
339
00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:38,660
Sorry we left you, Dad.
It's just...
340
00:14:38,703 --> 00:14:40,749
[sighs]
How do I say this?
341
00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:43,056
Your trip sucks, and après ski
is way more fun.
342
00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:44,535
That's exactly
how you say it.
343
00:14:44,579 --> 00:14:46,711
We tried to be nice, honey,
344
00:14:46,755 --> 00:14:48,583
but just because
you grew up poor
345
00:14:48,626 --> 00:14:50,933
and had to pretend to like
terrible vacations
346
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,804
doesn't mean we have to.
347
00:14:52,848 --> 00:14:55,198
For the last time,
we weren't poor!
348
00:14:55,242 --> 00:14:58,158
We all shared one fork
to save time doing dishes!
349
00:14:58,201 --> 00:14:59,420
And I don't need any of you!
350
00:14:59,463 --> 00:15:01,683
I can do a family trip
all by myself!
351
00:15:03,511 --> 00:15:04,904
Wow, it's coming down heavy.
352
00:15:06,688 --> 00:15:08,603
I can't see the trail.
353
00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:11,780
Oh, God, I've lost my way!
I'm gonna die out here!
354
00:15:11,823 --> 00:15:13,738
Wait. There's a light.
I'm saved!
355
00:15:13,782 --> 00:15:15,088
Lord, you saved me!
356
00:15:18,265 --> 00:15:19,483
What?
357
00:15:25,141 --> 00:15:27,927
Who needs a loving family
to enjoy things with?
358
00:15:31,408 --> 00:15:34,368
Those fools have no idea
what they're missing.
359
00:15:34,411 --> 00:15:35,543
Whee!
360
00:15:36,283 --> 00:15:37,980
Yeah!
361
00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:39,939
Yes! Me!
362
00:15:40,591 --> 00:15:41,853
Whoo!
363
00:15:42,550 --> 00:15:44,508
Wake up, party people!
364
00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:48,991
MC Avalanche is cookin' up
fat beats and salty meats
365
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:53,691
for your boozy brunchy pleasure!
366
00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:56,259
Mimosa time, bitches!
367
00:15:57,086 --> 00:15:58,870
Poor Stan.
368
00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:01,264
Will you ever find what
you've been looking for?
369
00:16:01,308 --> 00:16:04,050
This is exactly what
I've been looking for!
370
00:16:04,093 --> 00:16:06,835
Yee-haw!
371
00:16:06,878 --> 00:16:09,055
[echoing] Haw-- Haw!
372
00:16:11,144 --> 00:16:12,797
Oh, God, oh, God!
373
00:16:14,451 --> 00:16:17,367
I'm doing it!
I'm outrunning the avalanche!
374
00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:24,418
Stan got buried by
an avalanche at the dump!
375
00:16:24,461 --> 00:16:25,549
[record needle scratches]
376
00:16:25,593 --> 00:16:27,116
MC AVALANCHE: M-m-m-mittens!
377
00:16:29,292 --> 00:16:30,815
Oh, my God!
378
00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:32,730
Après ski crew,
379
00:16:32,774 --> 00:16:35,646
I call on you to help us
find our missing friend!
380
00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:39,955
[music swells]
381
00:16:41,870 --> 00:16:44,090
- Nah.
- Nah?
382
00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:45,743
Yeah, nah.
We wanna keep partying.
383
00:16:45,787 --> 00:16:47,745
[dance music resumes]
384
00:16:52,707 --> 00:16:54,883
This is the address.
385
00:16:54,926 --> 00:16:56,145
You sure you wanna do this?
386
00:16:56,189 --> 00:16:58,495
I'm good at figuring out
where people are
387
00:16:58,539 --> 00:17:02,021
but not so good at figuring out
where they are emotionally.
388
00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:04,632
If it's meant to be,
it's meant to be.
389
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:07,156
[doorbell rings]
390
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:13,380
♪
391
00:17:13,423 --> 00:17:15,643
[doorbell rings]
392
00:17:19,081 --> 00:17:22,780
I guess it wasn't meant to be.
[sighs]
393
00:17:22,824 --> 00:17:39,710
♪
394
00:17:39,754 --> 00:17:41,060
[doorbell rings]
395
00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:49,068
I guess it wasn't meant to be.
396
00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:01,428
Not much air left.
397
00:18:02,429 --> 00:18:03,952
Must take...
398
00:18:03,995 --> 00:18:06,128
smallest breaths possible...
399
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:07,303
because running out of air...
400
00:18:08,565 --> 00:18:09,958
let's just say...
401
00:18:10,001 --> 00:18:12,091
isn't the best outcome...
402
00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:13,179
for ol' Stan Smith.
403
00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:19,141
This ski trip sucks!
404
00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:20,838
Why doesn't our cabin
have any heat?
405
00:18:20,882 --> 00:18:24,146
Because we're getting away
from it all, that's why!
406
00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:27,497
Can't we go
to the regular zoo?
407
00:18:27,541 --> 00:18:30,152
This is better
than the regular zoo.
408
00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:32,415
The animals are in
their natural habitat.
409
00:18:35,549 --> 00:18:38,029
Stan, go check if there's
anything left in that.
410
00:18:38,813 --> 00:18:40,989
[horn blows]
411
00:18:41,032 --> 00:18:43,165
This cruise sucks!
412
00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:44,645
Why can't we leave our room?
413
00:18:44,688 --> 00:18:47,778
Because it's not
a real cruise, Stan!
414
00:18:47,822 --> 00:18:49,650
We're very, very poor!
415
00:18:49,693 --> 00:18:52,131
How the hell does this imbecile
not get it by now?!
416
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:57,048
My childhood family trips...
417
00:18:57,092 --> 00:18:59,138
actually sucked!
418
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:01,096
And there's a chance...
419
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,054
we were kinda...
420
00:19:03,098 --> 00:19:04,143
poor.
421
00:19:05,448 --> 00:19:07,668
[cheering]
422
00:19:07,711 --> 00:19:10,584
Stop après skiing and help me
find my papa!
423
00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:16,981
Hey, gang! You guys love
partying, we wanna search!
424
00:19:17,025 --> 00:19:19,288
What if we combine
the two and do...
425
00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:20,507
a search party?
426
00:19:22,378 --> 00:19:25,294
[dance music playing]
427
00:19:25,338 --> 00:19:28,210
Search partyyyyyyyyyy!
428
00:19:28,254 --> 00:19:29,994
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
429
00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:32,519
- Yeah!
- I'm gonna be a hero!
430
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:41,571
Après Squad, fan out
and find Stan!
431
00:19:42,833 --> 00:19:45,271
Par-tay!
432
00:19:45,314 --> 00:19:47,186
Whoo, yeah!
433
00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:48,622
Let's find Dan!
434
00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:50,972
Whoo!
435
00:19:52,321 --> 00:19:54,497
Oh, Stan.
436
00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:57,065
You only wanted us
to have a fun trip.
437
00:19:58,849 --> 00:20:01,200
Look! Dad's crappy
old wooden ski!
438
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:08,990
Breathe, Dad!
439
00:20:09,033 --> 00:20:10,774
Breathe your stupid
fresh mountain air!
440
00:20:11,993 --> 00:20:13,560
[gasps]
441
00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:15,344
[cheering]
442
00:20:15,388 --> 00:20:17,738
- Life!
- Thanks, guys.
443
00:20:17,781 --> 00:20:20,219
You know, while I was
trapped in there,
444
00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:22,656
I had a lot of time
to hallucinate.
445
00:20:22,699 --> 00:20:25,441
I've been forcing this
crappy trip on all of you.
446
00:20:25,485 --> 00:20:27,269
I'm a failure as a parent.
447
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:28,749
I wouldn't say that.
448
00:20:28,792 --> 00:20:31,360
Sure, they only had fun
because you drove them away,
449
00:20:31,404 --> 00:20:32,970
but you still gave them
450
00:20:33,014 --> 00:20:35,321
a better vacation
than you had growing up.
451
00:20:35,364 --> 00:20:37,584
I did, didn't I?
452
00:20:37,627 --> 00:20:41,762
I broke the vicious cycle of
having to take crappy vacations.
453
00:20:41,805 --> 00:20:44,721
Let's après skiiiiii!
454
00:20:44,765 --> 00:20:46,680
Hit it, MC Avalanche!
455
00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:50,161
I don't
think he's able to.
456
00:20:50,205 --> 00:20:53,948
Oh. Then maybe call
an ambulance!
457
00:20:55,079 --> 00:20:56,690
Bye!
Have a beautiful time!