1
00:00:02,828 --> 00:00:05,048
Why do we have a damn bell?!
2
00:00:05,092 --> 00:00:06,832
This is a college!
3
00:00:06,876 --> 00:00:08,486
Sorry I'm late.
4
00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:10,619
The dean is getting
his ass kicked
5
00:00:10,662 --> 00:00:11,968
in the parking lot.
6
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:15,450
It's so messed up.
Nobody is stopping to help.
7
00:00:15,493 --> 00:00:18,322
Yeesh. So this is old
Corpsey herself, huh?
8
00:00:18,366 --> 00:00:19,497
Ugh!
9
00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:21,108
What'd,
they leave her out in the sun?
10
00:00:21,151 --> 00:00:22,718
Aah!
11
00:00:22,761 --> 00:00:25,199
Oh, I didn't miss anything,
did I?
12
00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:27,288
I was just trying
to catch a little catnap
13
00:00:27,331 --> 00:00:29,072
before class started.
14
00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:31,118
G-G-G-G-G-Going on is what?
15
00:00:31,161 --> 00:00:32,728
Hayley, this is
our new lab partner.
16
00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:34,208
She's a SNAB.
17
00:00:34,251 --> 00:00:36,645
A Student of Notable Age
or Background.
18
00:00:36,688 --> 00:00:38,299
And her name's Anus.
19
00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:40,431
Eunice.
20
00:00:40,475 --> 00:00:42,433
Yahh!
21
00:00:42,477 --> 00:00:44,305
Dammit!
22
00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:46,785
Wow. 98 years old,
23
00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:48,961
and you're going
back to college.
24
00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:51,486
You're never too old
to follow your dreams.
25
00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:54,097
I find that so inspiring.
26
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:56,578
I'll tell you
what I find inspiring.
27
00:00:56,621 --> 00:00:59,102
The student bodies.
28
00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:04,586
Sweet Georgia Brown.
29
00:01:04,629 --> 00:01:07,676
I happen to have an interest
in the fellas and the gals.
30
00:01:07,719 --> 00:01:10,896
Daaamn, old lady!
31
00:01:26,825 --> 00:01:29,437
Ooh, ooh, and another thing
about my new friend Eunice...
32
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:32,222
another thing is,
she is so funny.
33
00:01:32,266 --> 00:01:34,137
Check out
this hilarious picture of us
34
00:01:34,181 --> 00:01:36,008
pretending to hump
the tope-liary animals
35
00:01:36,052 --> 00:01:37,292
out front
of the Women's Center.
36
00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:42,537
You didn't tell us
she was an old age person.
37
00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:44,974
Barf City,
population no thank you.
38
00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:46,323
Now, Francine,
39
00:01:46,367 --> 00:01:49,152
I too was once put off
by old people,
40
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,111
but then I had
an adventure about them
41
00:01:51,154 --> 00:01:52,721
that changed my mind.
42
00:01:52,764 --> 00:01:53,983
I'm always having adventures
43
00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:56,377
and learning
life-changing lessons from them.
44
00:01:56,420 --> 00:01:59,641
This week, I'm converting
our mud room into a man cave.
45
00:01:59,684 --> 00:02:02,296
I wonder what I'll learn
from that.
46
00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:05,560
Well, I say,
"Go young or go home."
47
00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:07,257
No old-o.
48
00:02:07,301 --> 00:02:10,652
Well, I think Eunice is
a deeply inspirational SNAB.
49
00:02:10,695 --> 00:02:13,133
And I hope I'm just like her
when I get old.
50
00:02:13,176 --> 00:02:16,745
Oh, you're not going
to be like Eunice.
51
00:02:16,788 --> 00:02:19,443
You're going to be
like... your mom.
52
00:02:19,487 --> 00:02:21,010
Pff.
Sha-yeah-hah right.
53
00:02:21,053 --> 00:02:22,533
It's fate.
54
00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:24,927
Every woman eventually
becomes her mother.
55
00:02:24,970 --> 00:02:26,798
- Will I become my mother?
- No.
56
00:02:26,842 --> 00:02:29,192
Every man marries
his mother.
57
00:02:29,236 --> 00:02:30,628
Noice.
58
00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:32,152
Hayley, think of all the ways
59
00:02:32,195 --> 00:02:34,110
you're already like Francine.
60
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,068
Laid-back, except
for quick bursts of anger.
61
00:02:36,112 --> 00:02:37,374
Lazy.
62
00:02:37,418 --> 00:02:38,984
Heavy substance abuse.
63
00:02:39,028 --> 00:02:40,464
For you, weed.
64
00:02:40,508 --> 00:02:42,858
For Francine, collectible
Guardians of the Galaxy
65
00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:44,642
Big Gulp cups
full of white wine.
66
00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:47,210
You should consider
yourself lucky, Hayley.
67
00:02:47,254 --> 00:02:49,908
This is Francine
we're talking about here.
68
00:02:49,952 --> 00:02:51,606
I'm an icon.
69
00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:53,260
I'm sorry,
but me become like you?
70
00:02:53,303 --> 00:02:55,087
Gross.
71
00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:58,482
It's like, Barf City,
population no thank you.
72
00:02:58,526 --> 00:03:00,049
Oh, see, right there?
73
00:03:00,092 --> 00:03:01,722
Francine just said that
like two minutes ago!
74
00:03:01,746 --> 00:03:03,226
No, she didn't.
Barf City,
75
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:04,793
population no thank you.
76
00:03:04,836 --> 00:03:06,969
Roger, why were
you recording us?
77
00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:08,797
I'm recording everything
these days.
78
00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:10,929
I'm afraid
the political atmosphere
79
00:03:10,973 --> 00:03:13,497
inside my improv team,
Pizza Party Weekend,
80
00:03:13,541 --> 00:03:15,543
has me... a bit paranoid.
81
00:03:15,586 --> 00:03:17,066
There's snakes in the grass.
82
00:03:17,109 --> 00:03:19,286
Certain members want me out.
83
00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:20,678
- Which ones?
- All of them.
84
00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:21,679
Every single one of them.
85
00:03:21,723 --> 00:03:24,334
Well, Hayley, too bad for you
86
00:03:24,378 --> 00:03:26,336
that you're gonna end up
being like me,
87
00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:28,730
whether you like it or not.
88
00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:31,689
Now, I see it's time
for my 10:00 AM nap, so...
89
00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:33,343
Ugh!
Here comes another one
90
00:03:33,387 --> 00:03:35,954
of your obnoxious
little sayings.
91
00:03:35,998 --> 00:03:37,869
Give Momma some sugar
92
00:03:37,913 --> 00:03:41,351
so she can have
them sweet dreams.
93
00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:42,483
Ugh!
94
00:03:42,526 --> 00:03:43,962
Barfsylvania...
95
00:03:44,006 --> 00:03:46,443
Population nothankyula.
96
00:03:46,487 --> 00:03:48,532
Aah!
97
00:03:55,147 --> 00:03:58,847
Oh! You don't have
a big squiggly mustache!
98
00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:00,979
For the last time, Jeff,
we are listing the ways
99
00:04:01,023 --> 00:04:03,504
I am different from my mom,
not Wario.
100
00:04:03,547 --> 00:04:05,245
Oh, Hayley!
101
00:04:05,288 --> 00:04:08,204
Looky what I found
in the old picture album.
102
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,598
You can barely tell us apart.
103
00:04:10,641 --> 00:04:12,339
Yeah, only because
you were always trying
104
00:04:12,382 --> 00:04:15,298
to make me a frilly, princessy
little clone of yourself.
105
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:19,041
Oh, excuse me for ever trying
to bond with my daughter.
106
00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:20,999
Bond?! Ha!
107
00:04:21,043 --> 00:04:22,958
You just wanted
your own personal Mini-Me.
108
00:04:23,001 --> 00:04:25,090
Like that Halloween
that you went as Mini-Me
109
00:04:25,134 --> 00:04:26,875
and you made me go
as Mini-Mini-Me.
110
00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:31,096
But I didn't wanna be Mini-Me.
111
00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:32,750
I wanted
to be Minnie Mouse.
112
00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:34,839
Or at least Mini-Minnie Mouse.
113
00:04:34,883 --> 00:04:37,277
But that's what Dad and Steve
got to go as!
114
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:40,280
But it's okay.
115
00:04:40,323 --> 00:04:42,630
Because I couldn't be
more different from you.
116
00:04:42,673 --> 00:04:44,196
Oh, yeah?
117
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:48,418
Why don't you check
my old senior picture?
118
00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:49,854
You...
119
00:04:49,898 --> 00:04:51,334
wore a headband, too?
120
00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:53,118
Face it, Hayley.
121
00:04:53,162 --> 00:04:55,773
There's too much of me
in you already.
122
00:04:55,817 --> 00:04:57,297
My genes.
123
00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:58,733
My cooking.
124
00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:01,039
My double-jointedness.
125
00:05:01,083 --> 00:05:02,127
You're double-jointed?
126
00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:03,694
Yes.
127
00:05:04,434 --> 00:05:06,654
And so are you!
128
00:05:09,004 --> 00:05:12,529
Toodle-oo, Future Me!
129
00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:15,010
Well, Steve,
through ruthless cunning,
130
00:05:15,053 --> 00:05:17,317
I seized control
of Pizza Party Weekend
131
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:18,927
and fired all the other members.
132
00:05:18,970 --> 00:05:20,972
Had to be done.
It was a nest of vipers.
133
00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:23,714
A den of... vipers.
134
00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:26,108
Plus, none of them
could do characters for crap.
135
00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:27,892
But now I gotta find
a whole new team!
136
00:05:27,936 --> 00:05:29,981
What about me and my friends?
137
00:05:30,025 --> 00:05:32,854
Our drunk driving skit
got big laughs
138
00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:34,508
at the pre-prom assembly
last year.
139
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:36,466
Hmm.
How was the prom?
140
00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:37,511
It was a bloodbath.
141
00:05:37,554 --> 00:05:39,121
Drunk driving was way up.
142
00:05:39,164 --> 00:05:40,644
I don't know.
143
00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,342
Maybe we could do
a trial practice,
144
00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:44,735
test the chemistry,
play a little Splooch Magooch.
145
00:05:44,779 --> 00:05:47,477
What's that?
Classic improv warm-up game.
146
00:05:47,521 --> 00:05:49,784
You don't know Splooch Magooch?
147
00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:51,307
Oh, my God.
This is not gonna work.
148
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:52,656
No way.
But I'm up against it.
149
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,310
You're in.
All of you.
150
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,114
Full member status.
Welcome to the big leagues.
151
00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:57,835
We practice in a public park.
152
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:00,447
Gotta get rid of my headbands.
153
00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:02,623
No, wait!
Mom got rid of hers!
154
00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:04,407
But does that mean
I need to keep mine?
155
00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:06,409
CannisterCo?
156
00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:08,019
That's Mom's brand!
157
00:06:11,240 --> 00:06:12,589
Babe?
158
00:06:12,633 --> 00:06:14,243
Are you all right?
159
00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:17,551
No, Jeff! I am definitely not
all right!
160
00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:19,683
I have to get rid of anything
related to my mom!
161
00:06:19,727 --> 00:06:22,207
What about that dress?
162
00:06:40,051 --> 00:06:42,619
I hereby sentence you
to become...
163
00:06:42,663 --> 00:06:45,709
your mother!
164
00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:50,410
If you just had a nightmare,
165
00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:51,933
please don't tell me about it.
166
00:06:51,976 --> 00:06:54,109
No need for both of us
to get scared.
167
00:06:54,152 --> 00:06:56,720
Wait a minute.
That's it.
168
00:06:56,764 --> 00:06:59,244
A way I'm not anything
like my mom.
169
00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:00,594
You.
170
00:07:00,637 --> 00:07:02,465
Oh, she would never marry
someone like you.
171
00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:04,119
Almost nobody would.
172
00:07:04,162 --> 00:07:05,816
Ah, thanks, babe.
173
00:07:07,078 --> 00:07:08,689
I'm not becoming my mother.
174
00:07:08,732 --> 00:07:10,212
I'm glad, too.
175
00:07:10,255 --> 00:07:13,650
No offense, but being
married to Mrs. S?
176
00:07:13,694 --> 00:07:15,043
Barf City,
177
00:07:15,086 --> 00:07:17,349
population no thank you.
178
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:20,546
Laid-back except
for quick bursts of anger.
179
00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:23,791
Why is this mother
Junior Jumble so hard?!
180
00:07:23,834 --> 00:07:25,575
-Gaah!
-Lazy.
181
00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:26,576
Oh, man.
182
00:07:26,620 --> 00:07:27,882
I sure am tired
183
00:07:27,925 --> 00:07:29,710
from that quick burst of anger.
184
00:07:29,753 --> 00:07:31,451
Heavy substance abuse.
185
00:07:34,541 --> 00:07:35,933
Oh, my God.
186
00:07:35,977 --> 00:07:38,240
I'm not becoming my mother.
187
00:07:38,283 --> 00:07:39,459
I married her.
188
00:07:39,502 --> 00:07:41,896
Now, give Momma some sugar
189
00:07:41,939 --> 00:07:44,768
so she can
have them sweet dreams.
190
00:07:57,651 --> 00:08:01,132
Mrs. S, can I sleep with
you and Mr. S tonight?
191
00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:03,918
Hayley realized
it's actually me who's like you,
192
00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:06,224
and now she's madder than Wario!
193
00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:12,317
It's you who's like me, huh?
194
00:08:14,972 --> 00:08:16,365
Aren't you happy?
195
00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:18,323
You're not going
to become your mom.
196
00:08:18,367 --> 00:08:19,727
Yeah, but I sure
as hell don't want
197
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,544
to be married to her, either.
198
00:08:21,588 --> 00:08:24,504
Jeff needs to be
de-Francine-ified.
199
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:28,856
Starting with those
beloved golden locks of his.
200
00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:30,988
- Say, where is Jeff?
- No idea.
201
00:08:31,032 --> 00:08:32,642
I've been working like a dog
202
00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:34,644
on my man-cave all morning.
203
00:08:34,688 --> 00:08:36,341
That's right.
I'm still doing that.
204
00:08:37,908 --> 00:08:39,780
Brother, I need to hydrate.
205
00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:45,873
Oh, hey there.
206
00:08:45,916 --> 00:08:49,616
We just got back from
the most amazing girls' day out.
207
00:08:49,659 --> 00:08:52,880
Look, babe!
We got mani-ped-a-files!
208
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:54,988
You're just doing this
to get back at me, aren't you?
209
00:08:55,012 --> 00:08:57,711
Actually, Hayley,
maybe I'm just happy
210
00:08:57,754 --> 00:08:59,234
to finally have a "daughter"
211
00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:01,628
who wants to do things with me.
212
00:09:01,671 --> 00:09:03,368
You know what?
I don't have time for this.
213
00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:05,066
My study group
got moved up to noon.
214
00:09:05,109 --> 00:09:06,415
Eunice sent me a text.
215
00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:09,287
On what?
A telegraph?
216
00:09:09,331 --> 00:09:12,160
No, Francine, on her phone.
217
00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:15,555
Which she did mail to me
in an envelope.
218
00:09:15,598 --> 00:09:17,034
I gotta get this back to her.
219
00:09:21,473 --> 00:09:24,955
Splooch Magooch,
there's a monkey in my cooch,
220
00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:27,697
and he came out
to give me a...
221
00:09:27,741 --> 00:09:29,307
And then, Barry, bud, you say
222
00:09:29,351 --> 00:09:31,614
an adjective and noun
that start with "A".
223
00:09:31,658 --> 00:09:32,809
Whatever pops into your head.
224
00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:33,940
Don't worry about
trying to be funny.
225
00:09:33,964 --> 00:09:34,922
Doesn't have to be funny.
226
00:09:34,965 --> 00:09:36,793
Angry apple.
227
00:09:36,837 --> 00:09:38,055
How is that funny?
I...
228
00:09:38,099 --> 00:09:40,014
Oh, my God,
we are so screwed.
229
00:09:40,057 --> 00:09:41,363
Now, if I'm up next,
230
00:09:41,406 --> 00:09:43,234
for example,
and I've got "B",
231
00:09:43,278 --> 00:09:45,497
I'm just gonna fire off
something super funny, like...
232
00:09:51,416 --> 00:09:53,244
How about Bronx banana?
233
00:09:53,288 --> 00:09:57,379
Heh. You know, like a...
like a tough New Yawk banana?
234
00:09:57,422 --> 00:09:59,686
Like, "'Ey,
I'm peelin' here!"
235
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,428
"You peelin' to me?"
236
00:10:03,472 --> 00:10:06,518
All right.
That's more like it.
237
00:10:06,562 --> 00:10:08,738
There may be hope for us yet.
238
00:10:11,393 --> 00:10:14,222
Looks like we got
ourselves a funnyman here.
239
00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:16,616
Okay, Steve, you think
you can push me out?
240
00:10:16,659 --> 00:10:17,921
Game on.
241
00:10:17,965 --> 00:10:20,315
Mr. Steve's Uncle, sir?
242
00:10:23,013 --> 00:10:24,798
What should I do here?
243
00:10:24,841 --> 00:10:26,756
Well, whatever you do,
don't blow him.
244
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,716
He just keeps coming back
again and again.
245
00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:33,720
Wow, Eunice.
246
00:10:33,763 --> 00:10:36,200
Look at all these
incredible things you've done.
247
00:10:36,244 --> 00:10:38,202
Professional female wrestling,
248
00:10:38,246 --> 00:10:40,814
fighting alongside Jane Fonda
and the Viet Cong,
249
00:10:40,857 --> 00:10:44,208
founding member of
the Shangri-Las and Buckcherry,
250
00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:46,994
hang gliding,
bang gliding.
251
00:10:47,037 --> 00:10:49,997
How did you make such
an amazing life for yourself?
252
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,913
I decided early on
I wanted an exciting life.
253
00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:54,741
My own life.
254
00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:56,656
So, I left home at 12.
255
00:10:56,699 --> 00:10:58,266
Cut all ties.
256
00:10:58,309 --> 00:11:00,268
It had to be done.
257
00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:02,705
I didn't want to be anything
like my parents.
258
00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:04,838
- Are you?
- Heavens no.
259
00:11:04,881 --> 00:11:08,711
And neither, for that matter,
is Milford, my husband.
260
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:10,191
Husband?
261
00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:12,672
Any of you study buddies call
262
00:11:12,715 --> 00:11:15,283
for an old fuddy duddy?
263
00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:17,415
Ha!
264
00:11:17,459 --> 00:11:19,983
That's us in our younger days.
265
00:11:20,027 --> 00:11:22,246
But you are only ever
as old as you feel.
266
00:11:22,290 --> 00:11:25,423
Milford here is 102
and still sharp as a tack.
267
00:11:25,467 --> 00:11:26,947
That's right.
268
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:29,036
Well, I'm off to the lab
269
00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:31,865
to play tiddlywinks with Morbo.
270
00:11:31,908 --> 00:11:33,823
Goodbye, Constance!
271
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:42,223
♪ I take two steps forward ♪
272
00:11:42,266 --> 00:11:44,486
♪ And I do, too ♪
273
00:11:44,529 --> 00:11:46,444
♪ We stay together ♪
274
00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:48,882
♪ 'Cause I am just like you ♪
275
00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:51,101
Give your momma some sugar
276
00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:54,104
so we can have
them sweet dreams!
277
00:11:54,148 --> 00:11:56,237
No!
278
00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:59,370
Your personality is not
going to dictate who I am!
279
00:11:59,414 --> 00:12:00,850
Or who I'm with!
280
00:12:00,894 --> 00:12:03,766
Ah don't want your life!
281
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:07,117
And ah don't want your wife!
282
00:12:07,161 --> 00:12:09,903
I am cutting all ties with you!
Forever!
283
00:12:12,035 --> 00:12:14,124
All right.
284
00:12:14,168 --> 00:12:17,388
Next up, we got Tuttle
with "Magic Stick".
285
00:12:17,432 --> 00:12:19,347
Pizza Party Weekenders!
286
00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:21,915
Some of you have expressed,
both to me directly
287
00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:24,047
and to one another
in private phone calls,
288
00:12:24,091 --> 00:12:26,397
concerns about
my "mental state"
289
00:12:26,441 --> 00:12:30,271
and how hard I've been
riding our rising star here,
290
00:12:30,314 --> 00:12:31,794
so I just wanted you to know
291
00:12:31,838 --> 00:12:33,187
that Steve and I had a good talk
292
00:12:33,230 --> 00:12:35,929
and, well, he agrees,
and I do, too,
293
00:12:35,972 --> 00:12:38,148
- that he's out of the group.
- What?!
294
00:12:38,192 --> 00:12:40,281
Can't be trusted.
He's out. Steve's out.
295
00:12:40,324 --> 00:12:42,457
And Buck-Knife Joe is in.
296
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:44,328
Are you sure that's a good idea?
297
00:12:44,372 --> 00:12:47,157
Look, Buck-Knife Joe might
have a knife around his neck,
298
00:12:47,201 --> 00:12:48,521
but you know
what he doesn't have?
299
00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:50,073
An agenda.
300
00:12:50,117 --> 00:12:52,815
Now, let's have some fun,
you buncha damn Judases!
301
00:12:56,906 --> 00:12:58,473
I'm sorry to barge in
on you like this.
302
00:12:58,516 --> 00:13:00,475
I-I-I just didn't know
where else to go.
303
00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:02,433
That's all right, dear.
304
00:13:02,477 --> 00:13:05,219
You just go on and get yourself
out of those wet clothes.
305
00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:07,134
You can borrow some of ours.
306
00:13:07,177 --> 00:13:08,396
Don't worry!
307
00:13:08,439 --> 00:13:10,398
You're not going
to be your mother!
308
00:13:10,441 --> 00:13:13,357
And neither is your husband!
309
00:13:13,401 --> 00:13:17,535
Because you and your husband
are going to be...
310
00:13:17,579 --> 00:13:18,754
us.
311
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:42,169
Oh, it seems like
I saw something
312
00:13:42,212 --> 00:13:44,867
I'm not supposed to,
but rest assured,
313
00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:47,739
I have absolutely no idea
what's happening.
314
00:13:47,783 --> 00:13:50,220
Please, do go on.
315
00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:03,320
Yo, U-Dog,
you sure you don't mind us
316
00:14:03,364 --> 00:14:05,975
wearing your fancy
old threads, kemosabe?
317
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:08,891
Oh, not at all, dear.
318
00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:13,200
My, don't they just
fit you perfectly.
319
00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:18,292
Ugh! Do you have any other
tattoos I should know about?
320
00:14:18,335 --> 00:14:21,469
I got a Jill Stein riding
a surfboard on my upper thigh,
321
00:14:21,512 --> 00:14:23,601
but it's usually
covered up with pubes.
322
00:14:23,645 --> 00:14:25,168
Wait. Why?
323
00:14:25,212 --> 00:14:27,257
That's enough
damn pecan sandies!
324
00:14:27,301 --> 00:14:28,780
They'll go straight to my...
325
00:14:28,824 --> 00:14:31,609
Eh, your calves.
326
00:14:33,698 --> 00:14:34,656
Ba-duh!
327
00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:36,658
Mom?
328
00:14:36,701 --> 00:14:39,226
I thought you convinced the girl
to cut all ties!
329
00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:40,792
I did!
330
00:14:40,836 --> 00:14:43,317
- What do you want?
- My daughter.
331
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:44,685
Well, I am not
coming back with you.
332
00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:46,624
Not you! Jeff.
333
00:14:48,017 --> 00:14:50,193
Well, he's not going anywhere.
334
00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:52,892
Actually, none of us are
until this storm lets up.
335
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:55,024
Road's flooded.
Just barely made it up here.
336
00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:56,634
Yo, Milhouse, this the shitter?
337
00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:58,723
I had a chalupa or two
on the drive over.
338
00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:01,769
What the...
339
00:15:09,299 --> 00:15:12,694
Oh. My. God.
340
00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:14,217
Sweet man cave!
341
00:15:14,261 --> 00:15:15,827
Love the mad scientist theme.
342
00:15:15,871 --> 00:15:17,568
Beakman's World!
343
00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:18,961
And I bet the secret entrance
344
00:15:19,005 --> 00:15:21,181
keeps the wife out
on game day, amirite?
345
00:15:22,791 --> 00:15:24,271
Holy moly!
346
00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:26,273
Can you smoke a brisket
in this baby?
347
00:15:26,316 --> 00:15:28,884
What is this, Sears? How much
this puppy put you back?
348
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,930
What you got going here?
Brewski fridge?
349
00:15:30,973 --> 00:15:32,757
You know,
all this place really needs is
350
00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:34,961
chili pepper lights everywhere,
and then right there...
351
00:15:38,807 --> 00:15:41,505
And then right there,
Spuds MacKenzie poster.
352
00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:43,246
Hold up.
I got like 10 in the car.
353
00:15:44,508 --> 00:15:46,554
Cool dress, Hayley.
354
00:15:46,597 --> 00:15:49,339
I love how it does
absolutely nothing for you.
355
00:15:49,383 --> 00:15:50,775
Says the woman who dresses
356
00:15:50,819 --> 00:15:52,342
like the pink ghost
from Pac-Man.
357
00:15:52,386 --> 00:15:53,735
Enough!
358
00:15:53,778 --> 00:15:55,563
I cannot stand
the inane prattling
359
00:15:55,606 --> 00:15:57,695
of you two trifling fools
any longer!
360
00:15:57,739 --> 00:15:59,654
I'm not Eunice.
361
00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:03,527
I'm Dr. Constance Von Stroheim!
362
00:16:03,571 --> 00:16:05,007
And with my husband,
363
00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:07,662
I've discovered the key
to eternal life.
364
00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:10,839
And you shall be our vessels!
365
00:16:10,882 --> 00:16:13,624
Morbo!
366
00:16:16,845 --> 00:16:18,020
What's a Morbo?
367
00:16:22,416 --> 00:16:25,027
Seize them, you stupid brute!
368
00:16:26,594 --> 00:16:28,030
- Aaaah!
- Aaaah!
369
00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:35,995
Wow.
Biggest turnout ever.
370
00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:37,648
I know things got
a little bumpy there
371
00:16:37,692 --> 00:16:39,365
for a little while,
but I think we came out
372
00:16:39,389 --> 00:16:41,348
the other end
all the stronger for it.
373
00:16:41,391 --> 00:16:44,133
Now, why don't we warm up
with a little Vroom Zoom Kaboom?
374
00:16:44,177 --> 00:16:45,221
Vroom.
375
00:16:45,265 --> 00:16:46,570
- Zoom.
- You're out.
376
00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:47,919
You're all out.
I'm sorry.
377
00:16:47,963 --> 00:16:49,965
I-I just can't work with people
I can't trust.
378
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,141
Buck-Knife Joe has some friends.
They're in.
379
00:16:52,185 --> 00:16:53,597
No time to practice,
so we'll just have
380
00:16:53,621 --> 00:16:55,101
to do warm-up games
for the show.
381
00:16:56,624 --> 00:17:00,715
Splooch Magooch,
there's a monkey in my cooch,
382
00:17:00,758 --> 00:17:03,674
and he came out to give me a...
383
00:17:03,718 --> 00:17:05,894
Big surprise!
384
00:17:05,937 --> 00:17:09,593
The original members
of Pizza Party Weekend?
385
00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:11,726
Can't do characters, can we?
386
00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:14,555
Well, now that we have
a majority again,
387
00:17:14,598 --> 00:17:16,644
you are out!
388
00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:22,954
The lesson from this adventure
is clear.
389
00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:24,913
I'm just too trusting.
390
00:17:27,568 --> 00:17:31,485
So, the hubby called an audible,
and for the time being,
391
00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:34,966
he will be taking the body
of your vivacious mother here.
392
00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:37,056
- Ow!
- And we decided to use
393
00:17:37,099 --> 00:17:40,233
Jeff's body for the brain
of our beloved cat,
394
00:17:40,276 --> 00:17:42,626
Mr. Poopie.
395
00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:45,064
And what have you
done with Stan...
396
00:17:45,107 --> 00:17:46,239
you nutcase?
397
00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:48,067
Oh, nothing too bad.
398
00:17:48,110 --> 00:17:50,939
I crushed up an allergy pill
into his malt liquor.
399
00:17:50,982 --> 00:17:52,723
He's sleeping like
a little angel
400
00:17:52,767 --> 00:17:54,856
on the upstairs Davenport.
401
00:17:59,252 --> 00:18:01,906
Get your filthy hands
off my body,
402
00:18:01,950 --> 00:18:03,995
you putrid oaf!
403
00:18:04,039 --> 00:18:05,562
This will just take a sec.
404
00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:10,219
I shouldn't have
taken off with Jeff like that.
405
00:18:10,263 --> 00:18:11,414
Otherwise, you wouldn't
have come here,
406
00:18:11,438 --> 00:18:13,004
and you'd be safe.
407
00:18:13,048 --> 00:18:16,834
Oh, Hayley,
I didn't really come for Jeff.
408
00:18:16,878 --> 00:18:18,619
I came to meet Eunice.
409
00:18:18,662 --> 00:18:20,142
What? Why?
410
00:18:20,186 --> 00:18:22,057
Because you seem to want
411
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:25,016
to follow in her footsteps
so much.
412
00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:29,282
I really never did want you
to be just like me.
413
00:18:29,325 --> 00:18:33,155
But I did wanna be someone
you'd want to be like.
414
00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:35,766
Oh, Mom.
You are.
415
00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:37,768
There's a lot of things
about me...
416
00:18:37,812 --> 00:18:39,814
that I'm glad I got from you.
417
00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:44,123
Oof. Arm's cramping
from all that whipping.
418
00:18:44,166 --> 00:18:47,038
What a putrid oaf, right?
419
00:18:47,082 --> 00:18:49,519
Anywho, time to make some space
420
00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:53,958
in those pretty heads
for our beautiful minds.
421
00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:00,661
Hold hands...
422
00:19:00,704 --> 00:19:01,879
while we die?
423
00:19:01,923 --> 00:19:03,011
Can't.
424
00:19:03,054 --> 00:19:04,186
Strapped down.
425
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:05,622
Yes, you can.
426
00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:06,971
You're...
427
00:19:07,015 --> 00:19:08,538
double-jointed.
428
00:19:08,582 --> 00:19:10,192
Oh, yeah.
429
00:19:12,063 --> 00:19:14,153
Oh, yeah!
430
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:25,120
Raaahhh!
431
00:19:26,382 --> 00:19:28,645
Mom, wake up!
Let's go!
432
00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:30,734
Morbo, you beastly fool!
433
00:19:30,778 --> 00:19:32,083
Attack!
434
00:19:35,783 --> 00:19:39,090
Morbo! What the hell?
Why do you do what she says?
435
00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:41,354
Seriously.
Wa-peesh!
436
00:19:41,397 --> 00:19:43,878
Ha-ha!
Very funny.
437
00:19:43,921 --> 00:19:47,098
But Morbo not "whipped", okay?
438
00:19:47,142 --> 00:19:49,100
Morbo, you're quite
literally whipped,
439
00:19:49,144 --> 00:19:51,233
like all the time.
440
00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:55,759
What are you waiting for,
you stupid, hideous fiend?!
441
00:19:55,803 --> 00:19:56,934
Get them!
442
00:20:04,377 --> 00:20:05,552
Wha...?!
443
00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:10,383
Mom, listen.
I'm so...
444
00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:12,472
Hayley, excuse me,
but I had a crazy dream
445
00:20:12,515 --> 00:20:14,256
just now that made me
realize something.
446
00:20:14,300 --> 00:20:17,041
I should be spending time
with my family,
447
00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:19,087
not hiding away from them
in a cave.
448
00:20:19,130 --> 00:20:20,499
- Dad, that's not what we...
- Hold on.
449
00:20:20,523 --> 00:20:23,265
Wanna get Steve on speaker
for this, too.
450
00:20:23,309 --> 00:20:24,397
Hey, Dad, what's up?
451
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,007
I see now that a cave
452
00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:28,052
is a place for a bear,
not a man.
453
00:20:28,096 --> 00:20:29,271
The only kind of cave
454
00:20:29,315 --> 00:20:31,099
I want to be in from now on
455
00:20:31,142 --> 00:20:33,928
is a family cave.
456
00:20:33,971 --> 00:20:36,800
Well, your father just
cracked open another 40,
457
00:20:36,844 --> 00:20:38,976
so guess I'm driving.
458
00:20:39,020 --> 00:20:40,630
You want to follow me home?
459
00:20:40,674 --> 00:20:43,111
I wouldn't have it
any other way, Mom.
460
00:20:56,516 --> 00:20:58,213
Bye! Have a great time!