1 00:00:03,742 --> 00:00:05,701 And so I thought I'd give 2 00:00:05,744 --> 00:00:08,051 investigative journalism a whirl. 3 00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:10,662 Well, get a hot scoop, follow some leads, 4 00:00:10,706 --> 00:00:12,360 write an expose. 5 00:00:12,403 --> 00:00:14,188 Do I... know you? 6 00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:16,016 Hayley Smith. Remember the name. 7 00:00:16,059 --> 00:00:17,408 I'm gonna be a famous journalist, 8 00:00:17,452 --> 00:00:19,802 really blow the lid off something. 9 00:00:19,845 --> 00:00:21,673 Not sure what yet. 10 00:00:21,717 --> 00:00:23,216 [chuckling] But, hey, that's what the class is for, 11 00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:24,285 nahwhatimeanbrah? 12 00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:25,460 Ow. 13 00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:27,462 Stomp the presses. 14 00:00:29,681 --> 00:00:31,944 Cool butt. Congratulations. 15 00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:41,389 Journalism. Is. Dead. 16 00:00:41,432 --> 00:00:43,434 This class is mainly gonna focus 17 00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:46,220 on picking out the best GIFs for listicles. 18 00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:48,265 That's what journalism is now. 19 00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:52,400 [gasps] Oh, no! 20 00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:55,055 [patriotic music plays] 21 00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:57,883 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 22 00:00:57,927 --> 00:01:01,670 ♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 23 00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:05,021 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 24 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:08,851 ♪ And he's shinin' a salute to the American race ♪ 25 00:01:10,983 --> 00:01:14,335 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 26 00:01:14,378 --> 00:01:16,424 - ♪ Good... ♪ - ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 27 00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:17,599 Aah! 28 00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:22,517 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 29 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,607 ♪ 30 00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:28,088 Mmm! Oh, my God, Franny. 31 00:01:28,131 --> 00:01:30,351 Are you kidding me with this watermelon? 32 00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:32,657 Does anyone love watermelon more than us? 33 00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:35,617 Is this the best day of our whole lives? 34 00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,662 [sighs] 35 00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:44,147 - Mmm. - You gonna say something or...? 36 00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,235 [mouth full] Watermelon? 37 00:01:45,279 --> 00:01:47,368 I'm too depressed. 38 00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:50,893 Okay. Mmm. 39 00:01:50,936 --> 00:01:54,026 It's just that, I was really excited about journalism. 40 00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:56,594 But my professor said journalism's dead. 41 00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:57,987 W-What do you think? 42 00:01:58,030 --> 00:02:00,468 Should I continue or just give up? 43 00:02:00,511 --> 00:02:01,532 [normal voice] You could continue, 44 00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:02,731 you could give up... 45 00:02:02,774 --> 00:02:04,515 Right. T-That's what I'm asking. 46 00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:05,951 I mean, should I look for a story? 47 00:02:05,995 --> 00:02:07,692 Or should I drop the class? 48 00:02:07,736 --> 00:02:10,782 Any way you want it, that's the way you need it. 49 00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:12,349 Any way you want it. 50 00:02:12,393 --> 00:02:13,916 You're not saying anything. 51 00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:15,874 I-I want your advice. 52 00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:18,181 Hello? 53 00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:20,705 Beans? In a salad? 54 00:02:20,749 --> 00:02:22,185 Okay... 55 00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:24,144 Are you pretending to be on the phone? 56 00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:28,409 Cool. 57 00:02:28,452 --> 00:02:30,193 Well, I'm gonna go get high in my room 58 00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:32,456 at 2:00 p.m. on a Wednesday. 59 00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,371 Do you have any thoughts on that? 60 00:02:34,415 --> 00:02:38,158 Wednesday... it's not spelled how it sounds. 61 00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:40,203 Ugh! 62 00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,944 Mmm. 63 00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:45,208 - The [bleep] was that? - My parenting style, baby! 64 00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:48,603 You know my philosophy... "Benevolent Neglect." 65 00:02:48,646 --> 00:02:50,344 I don't know. 66 00:02:50,387 --> 00:02:52,955 As a mother, you can't be there all the time. 67 00:02:52,998 --> 00:02:55,740 Eventually, you're going to let her down. 68 00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:57,960 So how do you prepare her for that? 69 00:02:58,003 --> 00:03:01,006 By letting her down early and often. 70 00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:03,226 So, you're saying you're not gonna be there for her. 71 00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:07,012 Yes. And that's for her, ya dig? 72 00:03:07,056 --> 00:03:08,710 Ow! I dig, I dig! 73 00:03:09,624 --> 00:03:12,017 What's Mrs S's problem? 74 00:03:12,061 --> 00:03:13,845 My babe is lost. 75 00:03:13,889 --> 00:03:16,108 - Just give my babe some guidance. - [bong bubbling] 76 00:03:16,152 --> 00:03:18,110 Maybe I'm not lost. 77 00:03:18,154 --> 00:03:21,070 And maybe my professor is wrong. 78 00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:25,030 And maybe I already know everything about journalism. 79 00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:28,077 Been saying that about you for years. 80 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:29,513 I'm just gonna look for a story. 81 00:03:31,385 --> 00:03:33,300 That last hit was a mistake. 82 00:03:33,343 --> 00:03:34,866 I can see that now. 83 00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:36,259 I'm too high. 84 00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:38,566 [chuckling] Me too, babe! 85 00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:45,312 HAYLEY: Maybe my story's about clouds. 86 00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:49,098 Like, how... where are they sometimes? 87 00:03:49,141 --> 00:03:50,926 Is this something? 88 00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:53,668 I have a worm in my mouth. 89 00:03:53,711 --> 00:03:57,759 "Something to do with clouds." 90 00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:03,286 Something to do with bubbles? 91 00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:05,984 We should've brought a car. 92 00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:08,073 Stomp the presses. 93 00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:09,921 - Butts. - ♪ Cool, baby, know what I'm sayin'? ♪ 94 00:04:09,945 --> 00:04:12,208 ♪ Left cheek, right cheek, left cheek, right cheek ♪ 95 00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,254 ♪ Show off, show off, show off ♪ 96 00:04:14,297 --> 00:04:15,298 ♪ Show off, boom ♪ 97 00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,518 Jeff, I have been noticing 98 00:04:17,561 --> 00:04:20,390 a lot of cool butts in town recently. 99 00:04:20,434 --> 00:04:21,834 My reporter's instinct is telling me 100 00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:24,046 to follow 'em, find their source. 101 00:04:24,089 --> 00:04:26,614 I'm gonna follow a different lead. 102 00:04:30,618 --> 00:04:35,057 Eat me, red spaghetti! 103 00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:37,668 ♪ Now let me see that booty work, booty work ♪ 104 00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:39,496 ♪ Booty, boo-boo-booty work ♪ 105 00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:41,977 ♪ Left cheek, right cheek, left cheek, right cheek ♪ 106 00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:43,848 ♪ Show off, show off, show off ♪ 107 00:04:43,892 --> 00:04:45,589 ♪ Show off, boom ♪ 108 00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:47,809 ♪ Boo-boo-booty work ♪ 109 00:04:47,852 --> 00:04:49,593 HG. 110 00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:51,291 Huh. But what does it stand for? 111 00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:52,814 Holy grail! 112 00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:56,252 Stomp the premsses! I got a hot scoomp! 113 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,080 But I'll have to go undercover. 114 00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:03,651 [doors whirring] 115 00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:05,740 I'm just a regular Hayley. 116 00:05:05,783 --> 00:05:07,176 My hat's in the Dumpster. 117 00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:09,091 Okay... 118 00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:10,919 Did you need to sign up for a class? 119 00:05:10,962 --> 00:05:13,008 'Cause she's about to start. 120 00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:14,705 - Who she? - Holly? 121 00:05:14,749 --> 00:05:17,926 HG? The Queen of Dance Cardio? 122 00:05:17,969 --> 00:05:20,102 - Hello? - Hello. 123 00:05:20,145 --> 00:05:21,625 We specialize in The Holly Method, 124 00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:23,671 the only technique proven to make you a new you. 125 00:05:23,714 --> 00:05:25,412 The first class is free. 126 00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:27,762 We will need a credit card, though. 127 00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:29,764 The class itself is free. 128 00:05:29,807 --> 00:05:32,375 What you get from the class costs $500. 129 00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:34,116 That's too high of a money! 130 00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:38,338 This is an expensive gym where people have good butts. 131 00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:39,817 I don't think that's a story. Damn. 132 00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:41,210 WOMAN: You look lost. 133 00:05:41,253 --> 00:05:42,733 Well, you look... 134 00:05:42,777 --> 00:05:46,607 ♪ 135 00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:49,131 ...a-ma-ma-ma-mazing. 136 00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:51,002 You reek of weed. 137 00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:52,787 It's the middle of the day. 138 00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:54,484 It's Wednesday. 139 00:05:54,528 --> 00:05:56,356 Do you have any thoughts on that? 140 00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:58,140 It's not spelled how it sounds? 141 00:05:58,183 --> 00:06:00,838 You're lost. I just said so myself. 142 00:06:00,882 --> 00:06:02,405 But I can help. 143 00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:05,016 You need someone to tell you what to do. 144 00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:06,191 You need me. 145 00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:08,324 Yes. 146 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,934 - Yes, what? - Yes, Mommy. 147 00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,283 You did it. 148 00:06:11,327 --> 00:06:13,460 You said the right answer. 149 00:06:13,503 --> 00:06:14,915 - ♪ Booty work, booty work ♪ - [women cheering] 150 00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:16,637 ♪ Booty, boo-boo-booty work ♪ 151 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,378 ♪ Left cheek, right cheek ♪ 152 00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:21,555 [up-tempo music playing] 153 00:06:21,598 --> 00:06:24,296 We gotta confuse the muscles to get results. 154 00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:25,646 When I say leg, I mean bicep. 155 00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:26,777 Just follow me. 156 00:06:26,821 --> 00:06:28,562 I am in charge of your body now. 157 00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:29,867 Gimme an amen. 158 00:06:29,911 --> 00:06:31,565 ALL: Amen! 159 00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:34,002 Good. 160 00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:36,439 Sip some agua, grab some protein, 161 00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:38,572 get those bank routing numbers to Lindsay, 162 00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:40,095 and let's get back out there. 163 00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:42,619 [cheering and squealing] 164 00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:44,882 Oh, hey, Hayley. 165 00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:46,710 How's journalism class going? 166 00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:48,843 Mom, I dropped that class months ago. 167 00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:51,236 I am a one-class-at-a-time kind of person. 168 00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,195 And right now, it's five workout classes a day, 169 00:06:53,238 --> 00:06:54,501 seven days a week. 170 00:06:54,544 --> 00:06:56,285 But only one class at a time. 171 00:06:56,328 --> 00:06:58,505 [chuckles] That's a physical limitation I have. 172 00:06:58,548 --> 00:07:00,245 Can't be in two classes at once. 173 00:07:00,289 --> 00:07:02,465 And I would if I could, and HG knows that. 174 00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:04,249 She gets that I'm dedicated. 175 00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:06,513 She hasn't said it, but sometimes I can feel 176 00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:08,123 her eyes graze over me, 177 00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:10,517 and I feel oceans of approval and love. 178 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,606 One day, I am gonna get a DMT. 179 00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:14,651 That stands for Distressed Muscle Tank. 180 00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:17,132 The DMTs get to work out next to HG. 181 00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:19,743 I just gotta put in the time, keep getting better. 182 00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:22,307 I'm gonna go fill up my mattress with ice and rest up for later. 183 00:07:23,399 --> 00:07:25,880 So, Hayley's in a cult. 184 00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:27,708 Yeah, an exercise cult. 185 00:07:27,751 --> 00:07:30,145 No. It's a real cult, Roger. 186 00:07:30,188 --> 00:07:32,277 Like Jonestown with ankle weights. 187 00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:33,670 And I should know. 188 00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,498 I've been in more cults than anyone. 189 00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:37,021 Remind me? 190 00:07:39,415 --> 00:07:40,982 - [doorbell rings] - STAN: Francine! 191 00:07:41,025 --> 00:07:42,723 Is that The Scrapbook I hear? 192 00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:44,333 I don't have my keys! 193 00:07:44,376 --> 00:07:46,216 I left them in the car when I rolled out of it! 194 00:07:48,032 --> 00:07:49,860 - Scrapbook! - Scrapbook? 195 00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:50,644 - [siren wailing] - Oh, shit! 196 00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:53,342 Scrapbook! Yay! 197 00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:55,649 Oh, wow. Remember this? 198 00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:58,565 I liked wearing all the red and orange clothes. 199 00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:00,523 Oh, this was this vegan one. 200 00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:02,394 We ate so much spelt. 201 00:08:02,438 --> 00:08:04,962 Some people had a lot of sex with the guy. 202 00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:07,617 Those cupcakes ended up being poisoned. 203 00:08:07,661 --> 00:08:10,228 Still have those Nikes somewhere. 204 00:08:10,272 --> 00:08:13,275 Honey, you might fall for cults, but let's be real... 205 00:08:13,318 --> 00:08:15,582 cults also fall for you. 206 00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,409 Frann-ay! [chuckles] 207 00:08:17,453 --> 00:08:20,500 Always skyrocketing right into the inner circle. 208 00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:21,849 True. 209 00:08:21,892 --> 00:08:24,242 I'm either a right-hand man or a high-up wife. 210 00:08:24,286 --> 00:08:26,462 Oh, God, and there's me on the altar. 211 00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,203 You were gonna sacrifice me. 212 00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:30,031 But then the knife broke! 213 00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:34,470 [laughter] 214 00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,820 Ah! That was fun. I needed that. 215 00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:38,996 - But I gotta get back to it. - Same. 216 00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:42,130 Yeah, it's a big time of year for me. 217 00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:44,175 You've been in a lot of cults. I remember now. 218 00:08:44,219 --> 00:08:46,830 Yeah, cults are really fun, 219 00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:50,442 but I have a sixth sense about when the fun is over. 220 00:08:50,486 --> 00:08:53,097 You know, when there's gonna be a FBI raid 221 00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:56,318 or mass soo-ey, or blend up beavers 222 00:08:56,361 --> 00:08:58,494 and put it in the town's water supply. 223 00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,800 Cool. 224 00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:01,976 How and why did we get into this convo again? 225 00:09:02,019 --> 00:09:03,673 - Hayley is in a cult. - Riiight. 226 00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:06,328 - You gonna help her get out? - I'm not helping her. 227 00:09:06,371 --> 00:09:08,156 She's gotta get out by herself because... 228 00:09:08,199 --> 00:09:09,723 Benevolent Neglect! 229 00:09:09,766 --> 00:09:12,290 Speaking of which, you know what I neglect sometimes? 230 00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:13,814 My own needs. 231 00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:16,468 That's not a joke. It's something sad. 232 00:09:19,036 --> 00:09:21,778 Whooooo! Let's do this! 233 00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:23,432 [all whispering] 234 00:09:26,348 --> 00:09:27,436 What's going on? 235 00:09:27,479 --> 00:09:29,438 HG: Everyone huddle up for a second. 236 00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:31,571 We're having a bit of a problem. 237 00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:34,095 The fire marshall's been sniffing around. 238 00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:36,924 He wants to do an "inspection," 239 00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:38,578 and we all know what that means. 240 00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:40,164 He's gonna come in here and try to shut us down. 241 00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:45,149 ♪ 242 00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:46,586 Guns? 243 00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:49,371 They have to be worth $600 each! 244 00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:50,764 And you're just giving them to us? 245 00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:52,200 Is this real? 246 00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:55,986 ♪ 247 00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:57,466 Hey, girl, what that? 248 00:09:57,509 --> 00:09:58,859 It's my gym gun. 249 00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:00,401 Anyway, I'm just here to grab some extra clothes 250 00:10:00,425 --> 00:10:02,384 and all of my important documents. 251 00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:03,840 I'm gonna be living at the gym from now on, 252 00:10:03,864 --> 00:10:05,605 for maximum readiness. 253 00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:08,782 Honey, what if, just like, as a readiness exercise, 254 00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:11,262 I said, don't go live at the gym? 255 00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:13,743 I'd call you a CV and tell you to suck my butt. 256 00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:15,658 And a CV is...? 257 00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:17,007 A Commitment Vampire. 258 00:10:17,051 --> 00:10:18,008 It's the worst thing you can be. 259 00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:20,271 Cool. Perfect answer. 260 00:10:22,534 --> 00:10:25,494 Looks like the fun is over at HG Studio. 261 00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:27,757 Unfortunately, Hayley doesn't seem to have 262 00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:29,759 my sense of cult timing. 263 00:10:29,803 --> 00:10:31,239 I'm gonna have to help get her out. 264 00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:32,849 What happened to Benevolent Neglect? 265 00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:34,851 Too late for Benevolent Neglect! 266 00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:36,244 We've got a new plan. 267 00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:38,681 It's called... 268 00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:40,640 Francine's Plan. 269 00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,864 Keep the car running. I'll be right out. 270 00:10:47,908 --> 00:10:49,039 Vroom vroom. 271 00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:51,607 [dance music playing] 272 00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:55,698 ♪ 273 00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:57,178 Mom?! 274 00:10:57,221 --> 00:10:58,701 Did I inspire you? 275 00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:00,355 Yeah. 276 00:11:00,398 --> 00:11:03,358 Let me just say, you have amazing taste. 277 00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:05,969 I wish the first cult I ever joined was this nice. 278 00:11:06,013 --> 00:11:08,145 - Not a cult. - It's a great space. 279 00:11:08,189 --> 00:11:10,800 I'm seeing a super-charismatic leader. 280 00:11:10,844 --> 00:11:13,585 The inner circle has sick-ass tanks. 281 00:11:13,629 --> 00:11:14,717 DMTs. 282 00:11:14,761 --> 00:11:17,502 - Primo cult, for sure. - Damn right. 283 00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:19,679 But shit is about to go down. 284 00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:21,811 We have to get you out of here right now. 285 00:11:21,855 --> 00:11:23,378 Okay, suck my butt. 286 00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:25,380 Since when do you have advice for me? 287 00:11:25,423 --> 00:11:29,384 We will deprogram you later, but for now, just listen. 288 00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:31,821 The schematics show a window in the bathroom. 289 00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:33,562 We're gonna slip out. 290 00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:36,173 Roger is waiting outside with the car running. 291 00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:37,455 There was a funny smell in the car, 292 00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:39,176 and I couldn't get the windows down. 293 00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:40,656 Had to use that hammer to get out. 294 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,789 The little hammer for if you drive into a river? 295 00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:45,052 Anyway, have you seen HG? 296 00:11:45,095 --> 00:11:46,618 I'm all in, Franny. 297 00:11:46,662 --> 00:11:47,750 All. In. 298 00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,621 Roger gets it! 299 00:11:49,665 --> 00:11:51,580 And you're a CV. 300 00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:53,800 And I have to report any CV behavior. 301 00:11:53,843 --> 00:11:54,975 - HG! - HG! 302 00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:56,585 HG, I love you! 303 00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:58,152 Do you see me, HG? 304 00:11:58,195 --> 00:12:01,111 First day, HG! Very impressive, yes? 305 00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:04,724 Hi, ladies! Fire marshall here. 306 00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:06,290 [music stops] 307 00:12:06,334 --> 00:12:08,075 I'm just gonna take a quick looky-loo, 308 00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:09,598 and I will be out of your hair. 309 00:12:13,297 --> 00:12:14,777 Fire marshall? 310 00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:17,562 Fire Marshall Bill! Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh. 311 00:12:17,606 --> 00:12:20,000 Remember that? Oh, my God, so funny. 312 00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:25,745 I'm honored you all have taken such an interest in my work! 313 00:12:27,529 --> 00:12:30,532 Hmm. All the windows are sealed shut. 314 00:12:30,575 --> 00:12:33,056 That's gonna be a no-go. 315 00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:35,450 No one's getting out of there in a hurry. 316 00:12:37,147 --> 00:12:40,237 [laughs] I'm not lovin' that. 317 00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:41,238 [squeak] 318 00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:43,980 Whoa. Loose floorboard? 319 00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:45,547 [voice breaking] When I was a kid, 320 00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:47,897 my grandma tripped on a loose floorboard 321 00:12:47,941 --> 00:12:49,377 and fell on her butt. 322 00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:51,596 It was so embarrassing! 323 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,381 I'm gonna have to close this place down. 324 00:12:53,424 --> 00:12:54,904 - ROGER: Just leave! - [gun cocks] 325 00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:56,993 No one shuts us down over a loose floorboard! 326 00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:58,255 - [gunshot] - Aah! 327 00:12:58,299 --> 00:12:59,822 Ah! My tiny gun went off! 328 00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:03,608 Y-You shot me in the tummy! 329 00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:05,045 - [gasps] - Oh, my God! 330 00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:06,089 WOMAN: What do we do? 331 00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:09,223 Everything is okay. 332 00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:10,833 This needed to happen. 333 00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:12,356 It was necessary. 334 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,271 It had to happen, HG. 335 00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:15,838 Here's the good news... 336 00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:18,449 this brought us to Phase Two. 337 00:13:18,493 --> 00:13:20,408 Just a little sooner than planned. 338 00:13:20,451 --> 00:13:22,279 Yeah, Phase Two, HG. 339 00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:24,151 This new woman... what's your name? 340 00:13:24,194 --> 00:13:25,717 - HG? - No. 341 00:13:25,761 --> 00:13:26,893 Then Britney M. 342 00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:28,155 Welcome to the inner circle. 343 00:13:28,198 --> 00:13:30,287 Two tosses for Britney M. 344 00:13:32,637 --> 00:13:34,726 [women cheering] 345 00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:36,032 Yay! 346 00:13:36,076 --> 00:13:37,860 In 20 minutes, we're gonna load up the buses, 347 00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,862 head to the airfield, and take off 348 00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:43,344 for our remote studio location in the jungles of the Congo. 349 00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:45,433 Everyone have your passports? 350 00:13:45,476 --> 00:13:47,000 Just kidding. We have your passports. 351 00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:48,479 [ding!] 352 00:13:49,654 --> 00:13:50,873 - Ugh! - Don't worry. 353 00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:52,744 We have your passports. 354 00:13:52,788 --> 00:13:54,355 I'm part of the "we." 355 00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:59,186 You saw what I saw. 356 00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:00,491 There's still time. 357 00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:02,580 We can't leave the country with these people. 358 00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:04,321 You're right. That was crazy. 359 00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:06,367 I wanna go home. 360 00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:09,370 Just follow me behind the bus, and then start running. 361 00:14:12,025 --> 00:14:14,505 ♪ 362 00:14:14,549 --> 00:14:15,855 Good work, Francine. 363 00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,597 What are you doing?! 364 00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:21,948 Betraying you, getting a cool tank top. 365 00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:24,167 It looks great on you, Francine. 366 00:14:24,211 --> 00:14:26,996 You've got the good shoulders for it. 367 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,084 So do I, though. 368 00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:31,174 [up-tempo music playing] 369 00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:34,351 And up and back and kick, 370 00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:37,441 front, table top, extend. 371 00:14:37,485 --> 00:14:40,836 I mean, I love HG, but what you did was savage. 372 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,491 Sold out your own kid for a DMT. 373 00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:45,710 My voice is the only voice I should hear. 374 00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:47,277 Sorry, HG. 375 00:14:47,321 --> 00:14:49,497 [quietly] I mean, I get it. I shot a guy. 376 00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:51,716 But I'm like you... I don't even feel bad about it. 377 00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,849 Shhhh! Britney M. 378 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,546 [normal voice] Almost done, HG. 379 00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:58,201 And she's fine. She's in Non-Prison Confinement. 380 00:14:58,245 --> 00:15:01,074 I don't wanna go to non-prison, but Hayley's probably okay. 381 00:15:01,117 --> 00:15:03,337 - Oh, God. - Ooof. I know. 382 00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:05,382 - It's really hot in here, right? - HG: Shhhh! 383 00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:08,081 And then, I put a little bit of mint, banana, a green apple. 384 00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:09,343 Sometimes. 385 00:15:09,386 --> 00:15:11,084 It's packed with, like, everything... 386 00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:13,129 flax, chia, fish oil, CBD oil, coconut oil, 387 00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:15,958 olive oil, Pennzoil... it's very oily. 388 00:15:16,002 --> 00:15:17,786 Don't spill it, because you'll be cleaning 389 00:15:17,829 --> 00:15:19,788 for the rest of the morning. 390 00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:21,853 But you'll have crazy energy if you get any in your mouth. 391 00:15:21,877 --> 00:15:23,270 How long do I have to be in here? 392 00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:25,185 Until you're ready to dance again. 393 00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:27,143 You mean I can just go back to class? 394 00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:28,275 Sure. 395 00:15:28,318 --> 00:15:29,972 But if you are gonna make the smoothie, 396 00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:32,714 do not smoke for up to 36 hours after. 397 00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:34,324 You will explode. 398 00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:39,764 ♪ 399 00:15:39,808 --> 00:15:42,115 Hayley, I'm so sorry. 400 00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:44,421 I never should have betrayed you for this tank top, 401 00:15:44,465 --> 00:15:45,945 even though I look amazing. 402 00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:47,990 We gotta get out of here, for real. 403 00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:50,297 I shouldn't trust you. 404 00:15:50,340 --> 00:15:53,256 Okay, meet me tonight. I know a way. 405 00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:56,607 Also, I figured out which one of the girls has the bad B.O. 406 00:15:56,651 --> 00:15:57,652 It's me. 407 00:15:58,653 --> 00:16:00,742 Just a little further. 408 00:16:00,785 --> 00:16:02,526 Ah, here it is! 409 00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:04,746 You see, HG? I told you! 410 00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:06,269 She's the real CV! 411 00:16:06,313 --> 00:16:07,444 Hayley! 412 00:16:09,359 --> 00:16:10,882 Oh, what, Mom? 413 00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:12,536 I wanna be in the inner circle. 414 00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:14,451 I feel really left out! 415 00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:16,062 I'll take my DMT now, thank you. 416 00:16:16,105 --> 00:16:17,759 You better watch your back! 417 00:16:17,802 --> 00:16:19,717 That DMT is mine. 418 00:16:19,761 --> 00:16:22,851 No, that DMT is mine, actually. 419 00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:24,331 You two are a lot of trouble, 420 00:16:24,374 --> 00:16:26,333 and I don't have time for this. 421 00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:28,770 You're both going to non-prison. 422 00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:29,858 - What?! - What?! 423 00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:33,035 Ooooh! You made Mommy maaaaad. 424 00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:35,037 Shh! You talk too much. 425 00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:37,474 [gasps] A criticism! 426 00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:39,563 [gasps] A flying caterpillar! 427 00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:41,522 What is wrong with us? 428 00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:42,871 It's not us. 429 00:16:42,914 --> 00:16:45,134 It's the cult. We're brainwashed. 430 00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:48,050 Yeah, but we're the ones who decided to join a cult. 431 00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:49,356 That's true. 432 00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:51,575 Why do I keep joining cults? 433 00:16:51,619 --> 00:16:53,099 What is that about? 434 00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:56,406 Maybe it has something to do with my mom. 435 00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:59,366 She was always telling me what to do, what to think. 436 00:16:59,409 --> 00:17:00,845 I hated it! 437 00:17:00,889 --> 00:17:03,326 But maybe on some level, 438 00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:05,981 I keep looking to re-create it? 439 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,765 I think it's the opposite for me. 440 00:17:07,809 --> 00:17:10,768 I was dying for someone to tell me what to do, 441 00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:13,206 or at least just give me some advice. 442 00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:15,382 I'd like you to be that person. 443 00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:17,036 I'm sorry. 444 00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:19,386 I just didn't want to be like my mom. 445 00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:21,388 You're not your mom. 446 00:17:21,431 --> 00:17:24,434 But I do need you to be my mom. 447 00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:25,827 I can do that. 448 00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:28,221 Should we start a coup against HG? 449 00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:31,267 Are you ready for my motherly advice? 450 00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:33,139 Yes. 451 00:17:33,182 --> 00:17:35,010 Let's dance. 452 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:37,926 ♪ 453 00:17:37,969 --> 00:17:39,319 Listen up, ladies! 454 00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:41,625 I've been in a lot of cults in my life, 455 00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:43,366 and I know what's up. 456 00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:47,109 HG acts like a god, but she's just a person. 457 00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:49,851 A very hot, charismatic person 458 00:17:49,894 --> 00:17:51,896 with a great exercise regimen 459 00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:54,203 that gives us confidence 460 00:17:54,247 --> 00:17:57,337 and the direction that we need in our lives, 461 00:17:57,380 --> 00:18:01,254 and cool butts that look like two stuck-together onions! 462 00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:03,821 ALL: Yay! 463 00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:05,388 No! No. 464 00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:08,565 She means, HG is a bad person. 465 00:18:08,609 --> 00:18:11,002 And we're all brainwashed! 466 00:18:11,046 --> 00:18:15,181 She's got us exercising in a jungle for 10 hours a day! 467 00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:18,009 Let's band together and get out of here! 468 00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:19,881 And she keeps shushing me. It's so rude. 469 00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:22,231 [gunshot, zap] 470 00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:24,842 What's with all the loose floorboards? 471 00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:27,410 Okay, she's not even hurt. What gives? 472 00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:29,151 The bullets went right through her! 473 00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:30,892 She is a god! 474 00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:33,547 ♪ 475 00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:35,331 Oh, shit, she is! 476 00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:36,637 My bad, HG! 477 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,422 Kneel before me. 478 00:18:39,466 --> 00:18:41,337 And remember to activate your core 479 00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:44,427 as you beg for my forgiveness. 480 00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:46,689 Huh? 481 00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:51,347 Uh, eyes up. 482 00:18:51,391 --> 00:18:52,783 My butt is up here. 483 00:18:52,827 --> 00:18:55,699 ♪ 484 00:18:55,743 --> 00:18:57,484 [zap] 485 00:18:57,527 --> 00:18:59,050 She's not a god! 486 00:18:59,094 --> 00:19:00,878 She's not even a person! 487 00:19:00,922 --> 00:19:03,098 She's a hologram! 488 00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:09,148 Uh... occupado? 489 00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:10,627 It's a big, gross man! 490 00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:12,325 On a toilet. 491 00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:14,501 Eating oysters? 492 00:19:14,544 --> 00:19:16,459 Out of a garbage bag? 493 00:19:16,503 --> 00:19:19,767 Oh, look who it is... Scoomby-Doo. 494 00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:20,768 [slurps] 495 00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:22,509 So, Holly was a hologram. 496 00:19:22,552 --> 00:19:24,293 HG equals Holly Graham. 497 00:19:24,337 --> 00:19:26,469 You figured it out. 498 00:19:26,513 --> 00:19:29,342 Come on, it's funny! It's a joke. 499 00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:31,648 You guys should smile more, by the way. 500 00:19:31,692 --> 00:19:33,084 [slurps] 501 00:19:33,128 --> 00:19:35,043 Yikes, dude. What is your deal? 502 00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:36,523 My deal? 503 00:19:36,566 --> 00:19:39,613 No one ever asked the Wizard of Oz what his deal was. 504 00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:42,311 He could sit behind a curtain, spying on Munkins, 505 00:19:42,355 --> 00:19:44,748 and I can't ogle women through one-way glass? 506 00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:47,055 I've committed no crimes here. 507 00:19:47,098 --> 00:19:48,578 [slurps] 508 00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:51,233 Why do I discard the shells into the same sack 509 00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:53,322 I take the fresh ones out of? 510 00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:56,543 Uh, I frustrate myself. I should get two sacks. 511 00:19:56,586 --> 00:19:57,824 Sometimes you gotta swish around 512 00:19:57,848 --> 00:19:59,589 and look for the loosies at the bottom. 513 00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:02,331 Oooh! Jackpot! 514 00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:04,768 Ugh! Oh, that was a loogie. 515 00:20:04,812 --> 00:20:07,336 I should not be spitting my loogies in there. 516 00:20:09,077 --> 00:20:11,732 See?! You think I'm disgusting. 517 00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:13,362 This is why I need to hide behind the mirror 518 00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:15,214 in the first place! 519 00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:17,999 You never would have just let me steal your money 520 00:20:18,042 --> 00:20:19,522 so I could watch you dance all day 521 00:20:19,566 --> 00:20:21,307 while I sit on my little toilet, 522 00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:24,223 digging through my garbage bag full of oysters. 523 00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:28,401 [slurps] I had to be smart about it. 524 00:20:30,185 --> 00:20:32,796 I see. You're all on your periods or whatever. 525 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,363 Ooh! 526 00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:36,409 ♪ Show off, show off, show off ♪ 527 00:20:36,452 --> 00:20:38,193 ♪ Boom, show off ♪ 528 00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,934 Ooh! 529 00:20:39,977 --> 00:20:42,806 ♪ Go 'head ♪ 530 00:20:42,850 --> 00:20:44,982 ♪ Now let me see that booty work, booty work ♪ 531 00:20:45,026 --> 00:20:46,419 ♪ Booty, boo-boo-booty work ♪ 532 00:20:46,462 --> 00:20:48,551 I never should have made you so strong! 533 00:20:48,595 --> 00:20:51,989 One last request... put me back on the toilet. 534 00:20:52,033 --> 00:20:54,383 I wanna die with dignity! 535 00:20:54,427 --> 00:20:55,787 - Suck our butts! - Suck our butts! 536 00:20:56,516 --> 00:20:58,039 Buh-bye! See you soon.