1 00:00:03,438 --> 00:00:05,135 Tell me about it. 2 00:00:05,179 --> 00:00:07,007 Oh, for sure. For sure. 3 00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:08,791 Perf. It's a date. 4 00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:10,575 [cellphone beeps, thuds] 5 00:00:10,619 --> 00:00:12,012 Bad news, guys. 6 00:00:12,055 --> 00:00:13,056 Here we go. 7 00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:14,492 I'm serious, Hayley! 8 00:00:14,536 --> 00:00:16,277 I'm all torn up over here! 9 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:18,322 I have bad news... 10 00:00:18,366 --> 00:00:20,237 for my haters! 11 00:00:20,281 --> 00:00:24,198 Because Danuta is giving your boy Klaus another shot! 12 00:00:24,241 --> 00:00:26,635 Isn't Danuta dating someone better than you? 13 00:00:26,678 --> 00:00:30,247 She was! But he was hit by a train. 14 00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:31,248 Hayley? 15 00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:32,945 Fine. 16 00:00:32,989 --> 00:00:35,731 Danuta has entered the small, glorious window 17 00:00:35,774 --> 00:00:38,821 I like to call "The Rebound Zone." 18 00:00:38,864 --> 00:00:40,475 But your personality, Klaus. 19 00:00:40,518 --> 00:00:41,780 It's so bad. 20 00:00:41,824 --> 00:00:43,521 [chuckles] Way ahead of you, Hayley. 21 00:00:43,565 --> 00:00:46,568 In the Rebound Zone, cash is king. 22 00:00:46,611 --> 00:00:48,265 The first suitor to impress Danuta 23 00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:51,486 with a grand display of wealth will win her heart. 24 00:00:51,529 --> 00:00:52,748 Attention, everyone. 25 00:00:52,791 --> 00:00:54,358 It's Crunk Night at the club, 26 00:00:54,402 --> 00:00:55,640 and I don't want to look stupid. 27 00:00:55,664 --> 00:00:57,100 Now, which one of these chains 28 00:00:57,144 --> 00:00:58,536 screams "Atlanta?" 29 00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:01,409 "A" for Atlanta, or 7 for Michael Vick? 30 00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:02,801 The club? 31 00:01:02,845 --> 00:01:05,369 Stan, this is the third time this week. 32 00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:06,936 [groans] 33 00:01:06,979 --> 00:01:09,330 This is how men blow off steam, Francine. 34 00:01:09,373 --> 00:01:11,941 They go to the club, order bottle service, and dance. 35 00:01:11,984 --> 00:01:13,464 I shouldn't have to explain this. 36 00:01:13,508 --> 00:01:14,552 It's caveman shit. 37 00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:16,859 Women like to dance, too! 38 00:01:16,902 --> 00:01:17,903 Do they, though? 39 00:01:17,947 --> 00:01:19,122 Yes! 40 00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:21,385 I've asked you to take me dancing for years! 41 00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,257 I want to spend time with you! 42 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:26,390 Oh, my God. We literally just went to Target. 43 00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:27,957 We bought me these socks. 44 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,090 I rode in the car with you the whole way back. 45 00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,352 [groans] 46 00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:33,963 There's a difference between buying socks 47 00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:36,183 and being connected. 48 00:01:36,226 --> 00:01:37,401 Is there, though? 49 00:01:37,445 --> 00:01:39,925 [patriotic music plays] 50 00:01:39,969 --> 00:01:42,580 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 51 00:01:42,624 --> 00:01:46,410 ♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 52 00:01:46,454 --> 00:01:49,631 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 53 00:01:49,674 --> 00:01:53,939 ♪ And he's shinin' a salute to the American race ♪ 54 00:01:55,811 --> 00:01:59,119 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 55 00:01:59,162 --> 00:02:01,382 - ♪ Good... ♪ - ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 56 00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:02,731 Aah! 57 00:02:03,993 --> 00:02:07,344 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 58 00:02:07,388 --> 00:02:09,868 ♪ 59 00:02:09,912 --> 00:02:11,696 [doorbell rings] 60 00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:15,526 What the hell do you want? 61 00:02:15,570 --> 00:02:17,354 My name is Henderson. 62 00:02:17,398 --> 00:02:18,877 Okay. 63 00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:20,357 Uh, y-you don't know me, 64 00:02:20,401 --> 00:02:22,359 but I was an acquaintance of Jack Smith. 65 00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:23,795 Your husband's father. 66 00:02:23,839 --> 00:02:25,841 Jack's dead. Bye. 67 00:02:25,884 --> 00:02:28,583 [knock on door] 68 00:02:28,626 --> 00:02:31,368 I know about Jack's death. 69 00:02:31,412 --> 00:02:35,198 I would have come sooner, but I live in Arizona now. 70 00:02:35,242 --> 00:02:36,634 Cool? 71 00:02:36,678 --> 00:02:39,246 I also knew Jack's little boy, Stan. 72 00:02:39,289 --> 00:02:41,683 I'm sorry. Shithead, is it? 73 00:02:41,726 --> 00:02:43,075 Henderson. 74 00:02:43,119 --> 00:02:44,686 Jack is dead, 75 00:02:44,729 --> 00:02:47,906 and Stan is all grown up with an angry wife. 76 00:02:47,950 --> 00:02:50,866 You'll have to pay your respects some other time. 77 00:02:50,909 --> 00:02:52,215 [gun clicks] 78 00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:53,912 I think we have a misunderstanding. 79 00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:55,218 I'm not here to pay respects. 80 00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:57,177 I'm here to collect a debt. 81 00:02:57,220 --> 00:02:59,222 Sit on that sofa and don't move! 82 00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:02,138 It's story time. 83 00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,923 Year was 1988. 84 00:03:04,967 --> 00:03:07,230 Now, without computers and smartphones, 85 00:03:07,274 --> 00:03:09,841 bad fathers watched porn in the living room. 86 00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:11,384 [woman moaning, whip cracks, horse whinnies] 87 00:03:11,408 --> 00:03:13,584 I learned so much in school today! 88 00:03:13,628 --> 00:03:16,239 Get this... the sun is a star! 89 00:03:16,283 --> 00:03:17,762 Enough with the questions. 90 00:03:17,806 --> 00:03:20,330 Can't you bore that pen pal I set you up with? 91 00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:22,376 They hanged him on Christmas. 92 00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:24,682 HENDERSON [chuckles]: Nobody hated being a dad 93 00:03:24,726 --> 00:03:26,945 more than Jack Smith. 94 00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:29,426 [indistinct chatter, music playing] 95 00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:34,170 Are you here to tuck me in? 96 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,520 Get an imaginary friend to tuck you in. 97 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,698 It's quaalude time, people! 98 00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:42,134 HENDERSON: Stan felt like 99 00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:45,268 the loneliest boy in the whole world. 100 00:03:45,312 --> 00:03:48,750 God, will you send me an imaginary friend? 101 00:03:50,055 --> 00:03:53,320 HENDERSON: And that's when I fell into Stan's life. 102 00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:56,584 Dad, I did it! I made an imaginary friend! 103 00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:58,150 He fell from Heaven! 104 00:03:58,194 --> 00:03:59,456 HENDERSON: And Jack realized 105 00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:01,632 his prayers had been answered, too. 106 00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:05,201 He never had to spend time with his son again. 107 00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:10,293 From that day on, he paid me to be Stan's imaginary friend. 108 00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:12,948 Arrgh! Methinks Captain Blackbeard's 109 00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:15,124 treasure be 'round here somewhere! 110 00:04:15,167 --> 00:04:17,953 Yarr! I'll watch some TV, 111 00:04:17,996 --> 00:04:21,652 in case they hide treasure clues in the shows. 112 00:04:21,696 --> 00:04:24,873 On which channel be Donahue? 113 00:04:24,916 --> 00:04:27,092 41.42. 114 00:04:27,136 --> 00:04:29,312 What do you mean you skipped town? 115 00:04:29,356 --> 00:04:31,009 What about my money, Jack? 116 00:04:31,053 --> 00:04:32,422 - [line disconnects] - STAN: Ready or not, 117 00:04:32,446 --> 00:04:34,709 - here I come. - I ain't hidden yet! 118 00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:36,319 Count to 3,000! 119 00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:38,539 STAN: Okay! 120 00:04:38,582 --> 00:04:40,758 51.52. 121 00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:42,107 - [thud] - 53... 122 00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:45,502 Jack took off and stiffed me 300 bucks, 123 00:04:45,546 --> 00:04:47,243 so I ditched Stan, too. 124 00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:49,811 Took a methamphetamine gig in Arizona. 125 00:04:49,854 --> 00:04:51,726 Oh, my God! 126 00:04:51,769 --> 00:04:54,032 You and Jack are monsters! 127 00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:55,469 If Stan ever found out... 128 00:04:55,512 --> 00:04:57,297 He'd be crushed. 129 00:04:57,340 --> 00:04:58,863 Which is why you're gonna cough up 130 00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:01,431 the 300 clams Jack owed me. 131 00:05:01,475 --> 00:05:03,259 You're despicable. 132 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:07,785 I can't believe you manipulated a kid like that. 133 00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:10,353 Whoa, $500! Thanks. 134 00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:12,399 Don't thank me, scumbag. 135 00:05:12,442 --> 00:05:13,922 I'm hiring you. 136 00:05:13,965 --> 00:05:16,968 You are gonna convince Stan to take me dancing. 137 00:05:17,012 --> 00:05:19,275 Don't mind me. Just passing through. Huge plans. 138 00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:22,365 Whoa, dude. You are haggard. 139 00:05:22,409 --> 00:05:24,236 So haggard. 140 00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:27,631 So-o-o-o haggard. 141 00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:29,285 I'm off. 142 00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:34,290 These fishbowls are so cheap-looking. 143 00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:36,771 How am I supposed to impress Danuta? 144 00:05:36,814 --> 00:05:38,555 - I already told you... - That one. 145 00:05:38,599 --> 00:05:40,514 Look at the glasswork. 146 00:05:40,557 --> 00:05:43,081 Please tell me it costs less than the $30 147 00:05:43,125 --> 00:05:45,170 I have in my flex spending account. 148 00:05:45,214 --> 00:05:46,955 Not even close. 149 00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:49,392 [sighs] I'm gonna call Danuta and cancel our date. 150 00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:51,089 Forget about her. 151 00:05:51,133 --> 00:05:54,528 In fact, let's forget about everything. 152 00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:56,399 Sick bong, Jeff. 153 00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:58,575 Thanks. I made it myself. 154 00:05:58,619 --> 00:06:00,490 I've been dabbling in glassblowing. 155 00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:03,275 Jeff, do you realize what this means? 156 00:06:03,319 --> 00:06:04,842 - You could blow me... - Ha! 157 00:06:04,886 --> 00:06:07,279 ...a fishbowl for my date. 158 00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:08,455 Grow up. 159 00:06:08,498 --> 00:06:09,978 [muffled club music playing] 160 00:06:10,021 --> 00:06:11,371 ♪ I'd kill for you ♪ 161 00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:13,155 ♪ Without no drill ♪ 162 00:06:13,198 --> 00:06:15,026 ♪ Yeah, I'd kill for you ♪ 163 00:06:15,070 --> 00:06:16,898 What you drinking, stud? 164 00:06:16,941 --> 00:06:18,900 I'm just here to dance with my friends. 165 00:06:18,943 --> 00:06:21,903 Then why are you dressed like a slut? 166 00:06:22,860 --> 00:06:26,298 Whatever. You're fat, anyways. 167 00:06:26,342 --> 00:06:29,084 Don't listen to her. You've had two kids! 168 00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:30,694 You look amazing! 169 00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:32,043 I should get out of here. 170 00:06:32,087 --> 00:06:34,524 Francine's taken the fun out of dancing. 171 00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:38,049 - [Lil Jon's "Get Low" plays] - Wait, this is my song! 172 00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:41,226 This! Is! My! Song! 173 00:06:41,270 --> 00:06:43,533 ♪ Get low, get low, get low ♪ 174 00:06:43,577 --> 00:06:45,230 ♪ Get low, get low ♪ 175 00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:46,406 ♪ To the window! ♪ 176 00:06:46,449 --> 00:06:48,843 - [urinating] - Ahh, tonight was great. 177 00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:51,498 I'm peeing so much, Smith! 178 00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:53,543 Francine and I, ugh. 179 00:06:53,587 --> 00:06:56,459 - [zipper zips] - Smith, I have some advice. 180 00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:59,984 My True Religions are absolutely drenched in piss. 181 00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:01,638 See you at work! 182 00:07:01,682 --> 00:07:04,728 [laughs] 183 00:07:04,772 --> 00:07:05,792 HENDERSON: Hey, Blackbeard. 184 00:07:05,816 --> 00:07:07,383 [zipper zips] 185 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,906 Henderson? 186 00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:10,517 It can't be. 187 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:13,128 My long-lost imaginary friend! 188 00:07:13,171 --> 00:07:14,999 You came back to me! 189 00:07:15,043 --> 00:07:17,262 Are you ladies done with the wall? 190 00:07:17,306 --> 00:07:18,786 I need to take a dump. 191 00:07:21,615 --> 00:07:24,008 I never forgot about you, Henderson. 192 00:07:24,052 --> 00:07:26,228 I missed you so much! 193 00:07:26,271 --> 00:07:29,536 But why would an imaginary friend get so old 194 00:07:29,579 --> 00:07:31,059 and sad-looking? 195 00:07:31,102 --> 00:07:34,105 'Cause of all the imaginary drugs I've done. 196 00:07:34,149 --> 00:07:35,367 Ah. 197 00:07:35,411 --> 00:07:38,545 Stan, you're finally using the tree house, 198 00:07:38,588 --> 00:07:42,113 all alone, but I brought you two beers, 199 00:07:42,157 --> 00:07:44,464 because beers are good. 200 00:07:44,507 --> 00:07:46,378 Oh, God. She's so annoying. 201 00:07:46,422 --> 00:07:47,379 I'll get rid of her. 202 00:07:47,423 --> 00:07:49,904 [yawns] Wow, look at the time. 203 00:07:49,947 --> 00:07:52,297 Better stop jerking off alone in my tree house 204 00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:53,777 while there's still daylight. 205 00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:56,258 - Nice. - Okay. 206 00:07:56,301 --> 00:08:00,218 Guess I should boogie-oogie-oogie back inside, 207 00:08:00,262 --> 00:08:03,918 'cause I love dancing. 208 00:08:03,961 --> 00:08:06,355 [as Francine] "You're finally using the tree house." 209 00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:07,661 [normal voice] Come on, dude. 210 00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:08,984 Don't come in here with that when 211 00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:10,533 you're obviously checking up on me. 212 00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:12,970 Mm! Whadda-hella-dis? 213 00:08:13,014 --> 00:08:15,973 There's only one candy corn for every two pretzels! 214 00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:17,322 Forget this. 215 00:08:17,366 --> 00:08:19,542 You don't deserve a woman like her. 216 00:08:19,586 --> 00:08:21,239 So long, Stan. 217 00:08:21,283 --> 00:08:23,807 Wait. If you're saying that, 218 00:08:23,851 --> 00:08:26,549 it means I think I don't deserve her. 219 00:08:26,593 --> 00:08:27,594 How do I keep her? 220 00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:29,639 Take your wife dancing! 221 00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:31,728 Dancing? With my wife? 222 00:08:31,772 --> 00:08:33,861 Oh, there's got to be a Plan B. Aah! 223 00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:35,819 When you were 8 years old, you had nothing. 224 00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:37,647 Look at your life now, dummy. 225 00:08:37,691 --> 00:08:39,736 You got a beautiful wife, okay kids, 226 00:08:39,780 --> 00:08:42,173 and you're gonna give it all up for what? 227 00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:45,568 To jerk it in a tree house all alone until you die? 228 00:08:45,612 --> 00:08:48,440 I mean, doesn't sound that bad. 229 00:08:48,484 --> 00:08:51,182 For an imaginary friend, you sure pack a wallop. 230 00:08:51,226 --> 00:08:52,706 FRANCINE: It's true. 231 00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:55,709 Henderson did pack a wallop, but it worked. 232 00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:57,624 Stan took me dancing. 233 00:08:57,667 --> 00:08:59,166 ROGER: Francine, what are you doing in the voiceover booth? 234 00:08:59,190 --> 00:09:00,888 I've got this booked to record a commercial 235 00:09:00,931 --> 00:09:02,629 for Brockton Jock Straps... 236 00:09:02,672 --> 00:09:05,283 "The only jock strap with extra fabric to cover 237 00:09:05,327 --> 00:09:07,721 your whole, horrible ass." 238 00:09:09,287 --> 00:09:11,942 Okay, I locked in a rezzie at Ruby Tuesday's. 239 00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:14,379 You gotta make me the perfect fishbowl. 240 00:09:14,423 --> 00:09:16,643 We're talking three dragons minimum. 241 00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:18,079 I got this, Klaus. 242 00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:19,254 Stand back. 243 00:09:19,297 --> 00:09:22,213 It's about to get toasty. 244 00:09:22,257 --> 00:09:24,259 - ♪ It's getting hot in here ♪ - ♪ So hot ♪ 245 00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:26,566 ♪ So take off all your clothes ♪ 246 00:09:26,609 --> 00:09:28,568 ♪ I am getting so hot ♪ 247 00:09:28,611 --> 00:09:30,570 ♪ I want to take my clothes off ♪ 248 00:09:30,613 --> 00:09:33,224 - ♪ It's getting hot in here ♪ - ♪ So hot ♪ 249 00:09:33,268 --> 00:09:34,617 ♪ So take off all your clothes ♪ 250 00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:37,402 ♪ I am getting so hot ♪ 251 00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:39,622 ♪ I want to take my clothes off ♪ 252 00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:41,644 ♪ Why you at the bar if you ain't poppin' the bottles? ♪ 253 00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:43,757 ♪ What good is all the fame if you ain't... models? ♪ 254 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:46,083 ♪ I see you drivin' sports cars, ain't hittin' the throttle ♪ 255 00:09:46,107 --> 00:09:48,326 ♪ And I'll be down to do 100 with a little bit of ♪ 256 00:09:48,370 --> 00:09:49,652 - ♪ And a sprinkle of that ♪ - ♪ Ah, ah ♪ 257 00:09:49,676 --> 00:09:51,286 ♪ Let it just fall out ♪ 258 00:09:51,329 --> 00:09:52,896 ♪ I like it when you ah, ah ♪ 259 00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:54,942 - ♪ Girl, baby, make it ♪ - ♪ Ah, ah ♪ 260 00:09:54,985 --> 00:09:56,508 ♪ Oh! ♪ 261 00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:58,859 The hell is with these dragons? 262 00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:01,992 I'm not trying to bang George R.R. Martin over here! 263 00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:04,691 I need this to be a panty-melter, bro-ham. 264 00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:06,475 Do it again! 265 00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:10,000 Tonight was magical, my love. 266 00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:12,437 I feel like Cinderella. 267 00:10:12,481 --> 00:10:14,526 You look like Cinderella, too. 268 00:10:14,570 --> 00:10:15,963 Like in your face. 269 00:10:16,006 --> 00:10:17,529 [both moaning] 270 00:10:17,573 --> 00:10:19,793 I worked up a sweat, and I need to run my balls 271 00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:22,056 under the sink, then let's make sweet love. 272 00:10:22,099 --> 00:10:24,101 Clean balls! 273 00:10:24,145 --> 00:10:27,235 Now I know I'm in a fairytale. 274 00:10:29,498 --> 00:10:31,587 [humming] 275 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,502 HENDERSON: How was dancing? 276 00:10:33,545 --> 00:10:35,025 [gasps] Henderson! 277 00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:36,897 What are you doing in my bathroom? 278 00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:38,420 Eating an apple. 279 00:10:38,463 --> 00:10:41,423 I mean why are you doing in my bathroom? 280 00:10:41,466 --> 00:10:43,251 Waiting for my next assignment. 281 00:10:43,294 --> 00:10:44,426 And payment. 282 00:10:44,469 --> 00:10:46,602 There is no next assignment! 283 00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,735 Our business arrangement is over. 284 00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:51,259 Marriage rekindled! Mission accomplished! 285 00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:55,132 Then I guess I should tell Stan everything and crush him. 286 00:10:55,176 --> 00:10:57,395 It'll probably end your marriage. 287 00:10:57,439 --> 00:10:59,049 [gasps] 288 00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:00,050 [door slams] 289 00:11:00,094 --> 00:11:01,878 Francine? 290 00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:04,228 I think you're gonna like this! 291 00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:06,709 - Guess what I am? - I need to come clean. 292 00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:07,928 Guess, Francine. 293 00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:09,320 Sex gargoyle? 294 00:11:09,364 --> 00:11:12,541 Nope. Horse statue outside PF Chang's, 295 00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:15,457 A.K.A. your favorite statue in the world. 296 00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:17,415 You remembered! 297 00:11:17,459 --> 00:11:20,070 Oh, you're making this so hard. 298 00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:22,682 Stan, there is something you need to know. 299 00:11:22,725 --> 00:11:24,945 Hold that thought while I come clean about something. 300 00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:27,730 It wasn't my idea to take you dancing. 301 00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,123 [inhales deeply] 302 00:11:29,166 --> 00:11:32,866 I have an imaginary friend named Henderson. 303 00:11:32,909 --> 00:11:36,130 He made me realize that you are my everything, 304 00:11:36,173 --> 00:11:38,523 and I never want to drift apart. 305 00:11:38,567 --> 00:11:40,090 You were about to confess something? 306 00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:41,701 Oh, wow. 307 00:11:41,744 --> 00:11:44,051 Stan, I... 308 00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:46,662 once bought a bunch of 9th graders beer 309 00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,620 at a Blues Traveler concert. 310 00:11:48,664 --> 00:11:51,319 Sounds like you're only confessing to one thing... 311 00:11:51,362 --> 00:11:53,234 being a super cool lady. 312 00:11:53,277 --> 00:11:56,411 Well, take some advice from a super cool lady. 313 00:11:56,454 --> 00:12:00,284 Stan, get rid of your imaginary friend. 314 00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:02,112 He's not real! 315 00:12:02,156 --> 00:12:03,548 But I am. 316 00:12:03,592 --> 00:12:05,463 Who's Henderson? 317 00:12:05,507 --> 00:12:06,943 I know you didn't say "Henderson," 318 00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:09,206 so that didn't totally work, but you get the idea. 319 00:12:09,250 --> 00:12:11,861 So just to clarify, you're getting rid of Henderson? 320 00:12:11,905 --> 00:12:13,167 Who's Henderson? 321 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,346 [gasps] There's paper on me! 322 00:12:18,389 --> 00:12:19,739 Get it off! Get it off! 323 00:12:19,782 --> 00:12:22,393 Don't move, Mom! It's stuck to your face! 324 00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:23,743 It's paper! 325 00:12:23,786 --> 00:12:25,092 [line ringing] 326 00:12:27,181 --> 00:12:30,097 Well, here's the problem. It's paper. 327 00:12:30,140 --> 00:12:32,795 Oh. It's a love note from Stan. 328 00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:35,232 "I took Henderson skydiving. 329 00:12:35,276 --> 00:12:39,323 He came from the heavens, and thither he shall return. 330 00:12:39,367 --> 00:12:41,978 Text if you need tampons, my queen." 331 00:12:42,022 --> 00:12:43,110 - Aww. - Aww. 332 00:12:43,153 --> 00:12:44,198 Oh, no! 333 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:47,854 [button clicks] 334 00:12:47,897 --> 00:12:49,072 - [wind whistles] - Uh. 335 00:12:49,116 --> 00:12:50,291 What's happening? 336 00:12:50,334 --> 00:12:52,902 When do I get my parachute? 337 00:12:52,946 --> 00:12:56,427 You were the greatest friend a boy could ask for, 338 00:12:56,471 --> 00:13:00,257 but when a boy marries a girl, he doesn't need friends. 339 00:13:00,301 --> 00:13:01,476 I realize that now. 340 00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:03,870 I-I'm scared, Stan. 341 00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,959 I want to go back down to the ground! 342 00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:08,091 You can go wherever you want. 343 00:13:08,135 --> 00:13:09,876 You're imaginary. 344 00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:11,486 What the hell are you doing? 345 00:13:11,529 --> 00:13:13,096 It's time for you to help some 346 00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:15,446 other boy the way you helped me. 347 00:13:15,490 --> 00:13:17,361 I wasn't helping! 348 00:13:17,405 --> 00:13:20,234 Your dad hired me because he didn't love you! 349 00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:22,540 My imagination is so powerful! 350 00:13:22,584 --> 00:13:23,890 This must be what Jim Henson 351 00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:26,066 felt like wrestling with his ideas. 352 00:13:26,109 --> 00:13:27,850 I'm a real man! 353 00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:29,330 My name is Hank Henderson, 354 00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:31,898 and I live in Flagstaff, Arizona. 355 00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:34,030 You showed me your cards, Henderson. 356 00:13:34,074 --> 00:13:36,250 Even I know that's not a real place. 357 00:13:36,293 --> 00:13:37,338 Goodbye, Henderson, 358 00:13:37,381 --> 00:13:40,645 - and thank you! - [screams] 359 00:13:42,386 --> 00:13:44,432 Come on, Stan. 360 00:13:44,475 --> 00:13:46,390 Don't do anything stupid. 361 00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:48,958 - [splat] - [screams, tires screech] 362 00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:51,961 Francine? 363 00:13:52,005 --> 00:13:53,528 No freaking way. 364 00:13:53,571 --> 00:13:54,921 You're never gonna believe this. 365 00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:57,053 Henderson landed on your car! 366 00:13:57,097 --> 00:14:01,144 Huh. I figured he would disappear or something. 367 00:14:01,188 --> 00:14:02,711 Realistic as hell. 368 00:14:02,754 --> 00:14:04,669 My brain is a marvel. 369 00:14:04,713 --> 00:14:05,864 Good thing you can't see this. 370 00:14:05,888 --> 00:14:07,324 You'd be, like, freaking out. 371 00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:08,717 [whimpers] 372 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:11,763 There's that super cool lady I know and love. 373 00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:13,635 Want to go dancing? 374 00:14:16,725 --> 00:14:18,509 I have the strangest feeling, 375 00:14:18,553 --> 00:14:20,642 but I can't put my finger on it. 376 00:14:22,383 --> 00:14:25,821 Stan, I need you to listen to me 377 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:26,996 without interrupting. 378 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,432 I live to serve you. 379 00:14:28,476 --> 00:14:30,652 Henderson was hired by your dad 380 00:14:30,695 --> 00:14:33,524 to be your imaginary friend. 381 00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:37,877 That guy on the hood is an actual dead man. 382 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:39,139 - Are you sure? - Yes. 383 00:14:39,182 --> 00:14:40,880 Oh, my God. 384 00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,403 Oh, my God! 385 00:14:42,446 --> 00:14:44,927 My own father? What a great guy! 386 00:14:44,971 --> 00:14:46,146 What?! 387 00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:48,931 He hired a man to be my imaginary friend 388 00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:50,715 because he couldn't be there. 389 00:14:50,759 --> 00:14:52,195 No! 390 00:14:52,239 --> 00:14:55,590 He lied to you, and I lied to you. 391 00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:59,855 I paid Henderson to manipulate you into taking me dancing. 392 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,509 I murdered a man. 393 00:15:01,552 --> 00:15:05,426 No. All you did was save our marriage. 394 00:15:05,469 --> 00:15:06,470 Mind pumping the brakes? 395 00:15:06,514 --> 00:15:07,558 [tires squeal] 396 00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:09,169 [squeaks, thuds] 397 00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:11,040 Just drive around that guy. 398 00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:17,960 The reservation is in 20 minutes! 399 00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:19,701 What the hell is taking so long?! 400 00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:21,442 All of your design notes! 401 00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:23,270 I wouldn't have notes if you did it right 402 00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:24,793 the first time! 403 00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:27,491 How hard is it to make a fishbowl with one mongoose, 404 00:15:27,535 --> 00:15:28,666 two Pickle Ricks, 405 00:15:28,710 --> 00:15:30,973 and Kawhi Leonard in a Knicks jersey? 406 00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:33,976 [fire crackles] 407 00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:35,369 Let's go! 408 00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:37,806 That glass is over 1,000 degrees. 409 00:15:37,849 --> 00:15:39,721 - It needs to cool. - There's no time. 410 00:15:39,764 --> 00:15:41,549 We'll crank the van's A/C. 411 00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:43,246 To Ruby Tuesday's! 412 00:15:45,466 --> 00:15:47,424 Danuta. Sorry I'm late. Better late than never. 413 00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:48,773 [laughs] 414 00:15:48,817 --> 00:15:51,689 Klaus, wow. You look great. 415 00:15:51,733 --> 00:15:53,213 Is that a new fish bowl? 416 00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:54,605 - [laughs] - [sizzling] 417 00:15:54,649 --> 00:15:55,843 I hope we're in the smoking section. 418 00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:58,392 [chuckles] Waiter! Ice water immediately! 419 00:15:58,435 --> 00:16:00,176 - And for you? - Hmm. 420 00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:02,744 I'll take... hmm. 421 00:16:02,787 --> 00:16:04,267 [laughs] 422 00:16:04,311 --> 00:16:06,313 Let's make that order two ice waters. [laughs] 423 00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:07,705 I'll take a Chardonnay. 424 00:16:07,749 --> 00:16:10,665 You heard the lady. [laughs] Hurry! [laughs] 425 00:16:10,708 --> 00:16:12,362 Ooh, wait. On second thought, 426 00:16:12,406 --> 00:16:14,016 I'm coming off a bad relationship, 427 00:16:14,060 --> 00:16:17,324 and I feel like a dirty martini. 428 00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:19,021 [laughs] 429 00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:20,327 [sizzling] 430 00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:23,069 [laughing] 431 00:16:23,895 --> 00:16:27,073 Danuta! Come with me to the center of the Earth! 432 00:16:27,116 --> 00:16:30,163 [laughs] 433 00:16:32,730 --> 00:16:33,818 [gasps] 434 00:16:33,862 --> 00:16:35,995 Buddy, you're back! You overheated! 435 00:16:36,038 --> 00:16:37,735 W-What happened to Danuta? 436 00:16:37,779 --> 00:16:39,650 She got a bacon bleu cheese burger, 437 00:16:39,694 --> 00:16:42,218 but it was so big, she dislocated her jaw 438 00:16:42,262 --> 00:16:45,047 trying to take a bite, and now she's at the hospital 439 00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:47,267 and might be dead. 440 00:16:47,310 --> 00:16:49,573 Where's that burger? Did she finish it? 441 00:16:52,098 --> 00:16:54,056 Can't believe it's already Monday. 442 00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,666 What did we even do this weekend? 443 00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:57,059 We killed Henderson. 444 00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,495 Oh, yeah. That was crazy. 445 00:16:58,539 --> 00:17:00,149 How are you okay with this? 446 00:17:00,193 --> 00:17:02,673 A man is dead because of us. 447 00:17:02,717 --> 00:17:04,173 If you're worried about getting caught, 448 00:17:04,197 --> 00:17:06,199 Dick already wiped Henderson off the grid. 449 00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:08,027 As far as the government is concerned, 450 00:17:08,070 --> 00:17:10,638 he really was imaginary. 451 00:17:12,205 --> 00:17:14,033 Whoa. Forgot how to wink. 452 00:17:14,076 --> 00:17:16,731 I'll never be the same. 453 00:17:16,774 --> 00:17:18,820 [sobs] 454 00:17:18,863 --> 00:17:20,517 Come to work with me, honey. 455 00:17:20,561 --> 00:17:23,694 Our grief counselor works with PTSD every day. 456 00:17:26,654 --> 00:17:27,872 [knock on door] 457 00:17:27,916 --> 00:17:30,049 Go away! 458 00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:31,441 Who are you? 459 00:17:31,485 --> 00:17:34,618 I'm Coach Cathy, the CIA grief counselor 460 00:17:34,662 --> 00:17:36,838 and coach of our softball team. 461 00:17:36,881 --> 00:17:38,013 Stan sent me. 462 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,928 You can't help me. 463 00:17:39,971 --> 00:17:43,149 Oh-ho, you sound like Tina Turbaco. 464 00:17:43,192 --> 00:17:46,021 She was depressed she couldn't hit an inside curve ball. 465 00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,588 Uh, who? What? 466 00:17:47,631 --> 00:17:50,591 Okay, let's see what we're working with here. 467 00:17:50,634 --> 00:17:52,941 Ooh, still in your robe at 4:00 P.M.? 468 00:17:52,984 --> 00:17:56,597 Drinking... [sniffs] Popov from a coffee cup. 469 00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:58,773 Ooh, and an ass that could stop a Mack truck. 470 00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:00,079 Thank you? 471 00:18:00,122 --> 00:18:01,123 How you holding up? 472 00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:03,604 Bad! I killed a man. 473 00:18:03,647 --> 00:18:05,432 Well, at least it was a man. 474 00:18:05,475 --> 00:18:08,130 Let's be real, all guys are assholes. 475 00:18:08,174 --> 00:18:10,959 [chuckles tearfully] Most guys, I guess. 476 00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:14,136 There's a little sunshine peeking through. 477 00:18:14,180 --> 00:18:16,443 Ha! Get on up out of that sofa! 478 00:18:16,486 --> 00:18:19,533 The van is running! On the hop! 479 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:26,583 This... this is where all your power comes from. 480 00:18:26,627 --> 00:18:28,150 You play some ball in high school? 481 00:18:28,194 --> 00:18:30,326 I went to an all-girls school. 482 00:18:30,370 --> 00:18:33,982 [inhales deeply] The dream. 483 00:18:34,025 --> 00:18:35,375 What are we doing here? 484 00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:37,464 Don't question my process. 485 00:18:37,507 --> 00:18:40,206 I need you to pick a number between 1 and 10. 486 00:18:40,249 --> 00:18:42,077 I don't know, 7? 487 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,600 - Mickey Mantle. - [whirring] 488 00:18:43,644 --> 00:18:46,125 Don't get upset if you don't make contact. 489 00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:49,171 Got this pup dialed up to about a 90. 490 00:18:49,215 --> 00:18:52,218 ["March of the Toreadors" plays] 491 00:18:52,261 --> 00:18:54,437 [fence rattles] 492 00:18:54,481 --> 00:18:59,138 ♪ 493 00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:00,400 [fence rattles] 494 00:19:00,443 --> 00:19:06,667 ♪ 495 00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:09,191 You did it! Whoo-hoo-hoo! 496 00:19:09,235 --> 00:19:11,541 Come to Mama! 497 00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:13,239 [laughs] 498 00:19:13,282 --> 00:19:14,588 [moaning] 499 00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:18,548 How did it feel when you ripped the tits 500 00:19:18,592 --> 00:19:19,897 off that baseball? 501 00:19:19,941 --> 00:19:21,682 Is that a real baseball talk? 502 00:19:21,725 --> 00:19:24,119 Do you remember when I asked you to pick a number? 503 00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,686 Yeah. I picked 7. 504 00:19:25,729 --> 00:19:27,818 Ha. The Mick. 505 00:19:27,862 --> 00:19:30,256 But it was also the number of cruise missiles 506 00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:32,388 launched from the USS Wendigo 507 00:19:32,432 --> 00:19:35,391 into an Iraqi village at your command. 508 00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:37,393 - What? - How does that feel? 509 00:19:37,437 --> 00:19:40,222 Knowing that you killed all those people? 510 00:19:40,266 --> 00:19:42,311 I actually don't feel anything. 511 00:19:42,355 --> 00:19:44,400 I didn't know you were gonna do that. 512 00:19:44,444 --> 00:19:47,795 And you didn't know Stan would throw Henderson 513 00:19:47,838 --> 00:19:49,057 off the plane. 514 00:19:49,100 --> 00:19:51,799 Oh, my God. You're right! 515 00:19:51,842 --> 00:19:53,757 None of this is my fault! 516 00:19:53,801 --> 00:19:56,586 Cathy, you are a-mah-zing. 517 00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:58,893 Please. 518 00:19:58,936 --> 00:20:01,939 Cathy was both my moms' names. 519 00:20:01,983 --> 00:20:03,158 Call me Coach. 520 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:04,420 No. 521 00:20:04,464 --> 00:20:06,814 I'm gonna call you "friend." 522 00:20:06,857 --> 00:20:08,729 Whose muddy cleats are on the porch? 523 00:20:08,772 --> 00:20:10,513 - They're Coach Cathy's! - Uh-huh. 524 00:20:10,557 --> 00:20:13,690 Coach Cathy, Stan. She cured me! 525 00:20:13,734 --> 00:20:15,388 Okay. What? 526 00:20:15,431 --> 00:20:17,607 Coach Cathy, silly. 527 00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:20,567 The CIA grief counselor you sent. 528 00:20:20,610 --> 00:20:22,308 Coach Cathy? 529 00:20:22,351 --> 00:20:23,918 She totally cured me, 530 00:20:23,961 --> 00:20:28,488 and I hit a 90 mile-an-hour fastball! 531 00:20:29,402 --> 00:20:32,883 Oh, good. That sounds real. 532 00:20:32,927 --> 00:20:35,930 So do you feel like it's in your best interest, 533 00:20:35,973 --> 00:20:39,977 mental-health-wise, to keep up this relationship with Cathy? 534 00:20:40,021 --> 00:20:42,763 Coach Cathy? With Coach? 535 00:20:42,806 --> 00:20:45,287 I don't know what I'd do without her. 536 00:20:45,331 --> 00:20:47,811 Well, we don't want to find that out, so... 537 00:20:47,855 --> 00:20:50,161 welcome to our lives, Cathy. 538 00:20:51,467 --> 00:20:53,164 Quit shaking her boob, Stan. 539 00:20:53,208 --> 00:20:54,253 She likes girls. 540 00:20:54,296 --> 00:20:56,167 Who doesn't? 541 00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:58,169 Bye! Have a beautiful time!