1 00:00:03,742 --> 00:00:04,806 [emotional] That's when it hit me 2 00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:06,832 like a ton of bricks... 3 00:00:06,876 --> 00:00:08,704 bricks might be hard, 4 00:00:08,747 --> 00:00:11,054 but growin' up is harder. 5 00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:13,709 Like a super-hard brick. 6 00:00:13,752 --> 00:00:15,015 [upbeat] Thank you! 7 00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:16,581 [applause] 8 00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:18,148 What's wrong with me? 9 00:00:18,192 --> 00:00:20,585 I should have put bricks in my story. 10 00:00:20,629 --> 00:00:22,109 Klaus, relax. 11 00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:24,241 Your story has nothing to do with bricks. 12 00:00:24,285 --> 00:00:26,069 - It's about a brick layer! - It is? 13 00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:29,855 Next on stage... Klaus Heisler! 14 00:00:29,899 --> 00:00:35,078 [applause] 15 00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:37,211 [person sneezes] 16 00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:40,736 When I was 10, all I wanted to be 17 00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:44,044 was a wall-building guy like my grandpa. 18 00:00:44,087 --> 00:00:46,742 He would stack these... 19 00:00:46,785 --> 00:00:50,746 eh, y-you know, they... they go on each other, 20 00:00:50,789 --> 00:00:53,357 but never right on top? 21 00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:56,708 They'd be like this and this and then here and here... 22 00:00:56,752 --> 00:01:00,364 ROGER: Why are you telling stories? 23 00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:02,105 Mm. 24 00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:04,803 Eh, t-this is a storytelling event. 25 00:01:04,847 --> 00:01:06,327 Are you Mother Goose? 26 00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:07,719 Okay, I'm going to continue. 27 00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:09,634 Continue boring everyone? 28 00:01:09,678 --> 00:01:11,941 Eh, n-no one's bored. 29 00:01:11,984 --> 00:01:13,136 MAN: I'm actually pretty bored. 30 00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,075 Then get the [bleep] out! 31 00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:17,294 Sir, the bathrooms are located in the back. 32 00:01:17,338 --> 00:01:19,340 Why are you taking a dump on stage? 33 00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:21,951 [laughter] 34 00:01:21,994 --> 00:01:24,040 MAN: Not bored anymore! 35 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,956 ♪ 36 00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:30,002 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 37 00:01:30,046 --> 00:01:33,702 ♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 38 00:01:33,745 --> 00:01:36,835 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 39 00:01:36,879 --> 00:01:40,796 ♪ And he's shinin' a salute to the American race ♪ 40 00:01:40,839 --> 00:01:42,885 ♪ 41 00:01:42,928 --> 00:01:46,062 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪ 42 00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,369 - ♪ Good... ♪ - ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 43 00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:49,935 Aah! 44 00:01:49,979 --> 00:01:51,459 ♪ 45 00:01:51,502 --> 00:01:54,070 WOMEN: ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪ 46 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,899 ♪ 47 00:01:56,942 --> 00:01:59,162 Ugh, nothing but junk mail. 48 00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:02,078 Letter from Francine's mom, biopsy results, 49 00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,819 cease and desist... ooh, it came! 50 00:02:05,212 --> 00:02:06,909 It came! It came! 51 00:02:06,952 --> 00:02:09,651 Francine, a reply from the Bazooka Sharks! 52 00:02:09,694 --> 00:02:11,696 Don't move! I'm headin' your way! 53 00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:13,568 - Eee! - What's this now? 54 00:02:13,611 --> 00:02:17,572 Your father and I wrote a letter to Bazooka Sharks' management 55 00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:20,009 outlining our concerns and suggestions 56 00:02:20,052 --> 00:02:21,576 for the future of the franchise. 57 00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:24,187 [panting] Okay. Moment of truth. 58 00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:26,189 [whispering] I love you, baby. 59 00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:27,930 [normal voice] "Dear Sharks fans, 60 00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:29,932 thank you for your interest in the team." 61 00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:32,195 Hell yeah! Great start. 62 00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:35,111 "We appreciate your passion and continued support, 63 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,505 and hope for a better result next season." 64 00:02:37,548 --> 00:02:38,680 Go on. 65 00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:42,162 That's... That's it. 66 00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:51,867 [glasses crunch] 67 00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:53,999 [bird caws] 68 00:02:57,002 --> 00:02:58,830 Are you guys okay? 69 00:02:58,874 --> 00:03:01,790 I know you can go a little cuckoo over your beloved Sharks. 70 00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:03,357 [bird caws] 71 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,750 Okay. Good. 72 00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:08,100 Just... checking. 73 00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:09,580 Good morning, everybody. 74 00:03:09,624 --> 00:03:11,887 Well, look who it is... Mother Goose. 75 00:03:11,930 --> 00:03:13,628 Get your cocoa and blankies, everyone. 76 00:03:13,671 --> 00:03:15,282 It's story time. 77 00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:18,067 Ooh, my blankie's in the dryer! 78 00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:20,243 Oh, you want a story? Here's one. 79 00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:22,463 It's about an insignificant grey douchebag 80 00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:24,813 who ruins his friend's storytelling event. 81 00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:27,032 Roommate's storytelling event. 82 00:03:27,076 --> 00:03:29,296 Face it, Roger. You're just a hater. 83 00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:31,602 You have no real talent. 84 00:03:31,646 --> 00:03:33,909 Sure, you know how to tear down, 85 00:03:33,952 --> 00:03:35,737 but you can't create. 86 00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:37,434 Uh, I can create. 87 00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:38,696 My personas? 88 00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:40,307 [scoffs] Masks. 89 00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:42,961 - Costumes. - Wow. 90 00:03:43,005 --> 00:03:46,226 You don't have the balls to put yourself out there like me, 91 00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:48,053 to risk ridicule contributing 92 00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:50,360 something meaningful to the world. 93 00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:52,319 [whispering] This is a brutal takedown. 94 00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:55,017 Deep down, you are a coward. 95 00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:58,020 [glass shattering] 96 00:03:58,063 --> 00:03:59,891 Wha... Y-Y... Y... 97 00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:01,719 Th... That's not... 98 00:04:01,763 --> 00:04:04,069 Guys? 99 00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:10,075 Room for one more? 100 00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:14,471 ♪ 101 00:04:15,864 --> 00:04:17,474 This letter sucked. 102 00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:19,998 It didn't address a single one of our points. 103 00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:22,087 And we had a lot of good ones. 104 00:04:22,131 --> 00:04:24,307 It's like they're obsessed with the forward pass. 105 00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:26,004 Why? It's so risky. 106 00:04:26,048 --> 00:04:28,398 Whatever happened to establishing the run? 107 00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:29,791 To smashmouth football? 108 00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:32,228 To ground and pound, baby! 109 00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,317 I'll tell you what happened... analytics. 110 00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:35,405 Moneyball. 111 00:04:35,449 --> 00:04:36,885 Nerds. 112 00:04:36,928 --> 00:04:38,974 [spits] We don't need eggheads. 113 00:04:39,017 --> 00:04:40,758 We need leatherheads, Stan. 114 00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:42,412 I know that, my queen, 115 00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:44,327 but the bean counters runnin' the show don't. 116 00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,721 Well, maybe we need to make them understand. 117 00:04:46,764 --> 00:04:48,026 Ground and pound them. 118 00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,593 Oh, yeah! Let's smash 'em! 119 00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:51,856 Yeah! Kill 'em? 120 00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:54,032 No. Smash their corporate offices. 121 00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:55,295 Okay! 122 00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:57,819 How? 123 00:04:57,862 --> 00:05:00,169 My friend Nerfer's got an armor-plated bulldozer! 124 00:05:00,212 --> 00:05:01,344 - Oh... - Oh, yeah! 125 00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:05,174 ...yeaaaaaaaa-agh! 126 00:05:05,217 --> 00:05:07,785 ♪ 127 00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:09,961 It's been a while since we've done this, Klaus... 128 00:05:10,005 --> 00:05:12,312 watched TV together in total silence. 129 00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:13,661 It's nice. 130 00:05:13,704 --> 00:05:15,532 Klaus, about yesterday... 131 00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:17,012 No, let me go first. 132 00:05:17,055 --> 00:05:19,101 You were a huge dick at my reading, 133 00:05:19,144 --> 00:05:21,364 but I was very hard on you. 134 00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:23,366 - It's okay. - No, no, please. 135 00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:26,282 I owe you an apology. 136 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,763 But I'm only going to give you the apologetic tone.. 137 00:05:28,806 --> 00:05:30,852 because I'm not sorry. 138 00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:34,029 Thank you for the tone. It's more than I deserve. 139 00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:36,031 I thought about it, and you were right. 140 00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:38,381 You have the courage to put yourself out there 141 00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:40,644 in a way I never do. 142 00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,820 - Here. - W-What is it? 143 00:05:42,864 --> 00:05:44,518 Ugh! It's me putting myself out there. 144 00:05:44,561 --> 00:05:45,736 Just open it. God! 145 00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:47,259 [door opens and closes] 146 00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:51,786 It's... beautiful. 147 00:05:51,829 --> 00:05:54,266 - Steve, look. - It is good. 148 00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:58,445 But is it better than being quiet and watching TV? 149 00:05:58,488 --> 00:06:00,272 I don't know. 150 00:06:00,316 --> 00:06:03,537 [Killdozer rattling and squeaking] 151 00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:07,105 What's good, my man? 152 00:06:07,149 --> 00:06:09,325 Oh, say, where can we find the corporate offices? 153 00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,283 Do you want to do something bad to them? 154 00:06:11,327 --> 00:06:13,155 With your Killdozer? 155 00:06:13,198 --> 00:06:14,286 Once sec. 156 00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:17,507 [indistinct whispering] 157 00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:18,552 - No? - In that case, 158 00:06:18,595 --> 00:06:19,988 here's the address. 159 00:06:22,207 --> 00:06:24,079 Their offices are in South Dakota. 160 00:06:24,122 --> 00:06:25,776 Oof. That's a schlep. 161 00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:28,257 - Big time. - You wanna call off the rampage? 162 00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:31,391 Does this answer your question?! 163 00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:33,741 Killdozer rampage still on! 164 00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:36,178 - Yea-ha-ha! Yeah! - Whoo-hoo! 165 00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:38,310 [all cheering] 166 00:06:38,354 --> 00:06:40,835 Yeah! 167 00:06:40,878 --> 00:06:43,228 ♪ 168 00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:45,361 R-Roger? 169 00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,232 ROGER: In the back! Through my secret door! 170 00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:52,150 Wow. What is this place? 171 00:06:52,194 --> 00:06:54,414 In the '40s, it was a button factory. 172 00:06:54,457 --> 00:06:56,633 Now? My art studio. 173 00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:58,766 You made this? 174 00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:01,464 I had no idea. You're an artist. 175 00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:03,031 Well, I don't know about "artist." 176 00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:04,467 I'm... I'm just dabblin'. 177 00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,077 -Goofin', really. -Goofin'? 178 00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:08,428 I-It's incredible. 179 00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:11,692 The weathered gills, the pain in the eyes. 180 00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:13,650 It's a window to my soul. 181 00:07:13,694 --> 00:07:15,739 Phew. That's what I was going for. 182 00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:18,612 Is that a painting of me? 183 00:07:18,655 --> 00:07:20,701 They're all you, Klaus. 184 00:07:20,744 --> 00:07:23,399 You are... my muse. 185 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,879 Oh, shit. 186 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,969 ♪ 187 00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:29,772 - Family announcement! - Family announcement! 188 00:07:29,797 --> 00:07:31,363 - Where is everyone? - I don't know. 189 00:07:31,407 --> 00:07:33,801 Something about establishing the run. What's up? 190 00:07:33,844 --> 00:07:36,412 Roger's an artist, and I'm his muse! 191 00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,633 - Oh. Mazel tov. - [sighs] 192 00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:43,593 Well, the important thing is the world needs to see your art. 193 00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:45,421 You're doing a gallery opening. 194 00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,641 Ha! As if. 195 00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:49,773 Who'd be interested in my silly little scribbles? 196 00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:51,514 Prolly no one. 197 00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:53,951 I sold all my art! 198 00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:56,432 A toast... to everyone who made 199 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,087 my first gallery opening a success. 200 00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:01,132 Of course, Hovek... beautiful Hovek... 201 00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:03,395 for providing such a dynamic space. 202 00:08:03,439 --> 00:08:05,615 Carl, a man I met just moments ago... 203 00:08:05,659 --> 00:08:07,182 Um, hello? 204 00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:09,314 Aren't you gonna mention your muse? 205 00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:11,534 Klaus, zip it. Go back to the muse table. 206 00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:13,754 Um, there's no muse table. 207 00:08:13,797 --> 00:08:15,886 What? But artists need to quaff wine 208 00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:17,279 and belly laugh together, 209 00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:19,716 far from the din of their simpering muses. 210 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,892 - Have one set up. - Me? 211 00:08:21,936 --> 00:08:22,632 - Just get it done! - [glass shattering] 212 00:08:22,676 --> 00:08:24,329 [laughter] 213 00:08:24,373 --> 00:08:27,158 Look at him, sucking the marrow out of life. 214 00:08:27,202 --> 00:08:28,769 And I'm sitting here like a schmuck. 215 00:08:28,812 --> 00:08:30,292 Why would he treat me like this? 216 00:08:30,335 --> 00:08:33,643 Oh, listen to you. 217 00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:35,863 Isn't it enough to be a part of something artistic, 218 00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:37,821 something meaningful? 219 00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:40,607 Wow. You're right. 220 00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,173 I should be thanking Roger... 221 00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:43,566 ROGER: Hey! 222 00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:46,134 Why am I hearing the muse table? 223 00:08:46,177 --> 00:08:49,703 I'm trying to tell a ribald anecdote over here! 224 00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:51,400 Sorry. [chuckles] Now, how far did I get? 225 00:08:51,443 --> 00:08:52,967 We got the priest, 226 00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:54,205 we got the urinating up and down the back, 227 00:08:54,229 --> 00:08:55,578 we got my great joke... 228 00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:57,275 "Christening? More like pissening." 229 00:08:57,319 --> 00:08:59,103 [chuckles] Maybe that's it. 230 00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:00,583 Maybe that's the whole thing. 231 00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:02,672 Another home-run story in the books. 232 00:09:02,716 --> 00:09:04,456 [horns honking] 233 00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,110 [tires screeching] 234 00:09:06,154 --> 00:09:08,373 We are rampagin'. 235 00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:12,203 Hayley, toss me another 5-Hour Energy. 236 00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:14,162 My rage is dipping. 237 00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:15,966 Maybe it would help if I read the letter again? 238 00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:18,601 - Yes. - Great idea. 239 00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:19,665 - "Dear Sharks fans..." - Ooh! 240 00:09:19,689 --> 00:09:21,648 Those motherfu... 241 00:09:21,691 --> 00:09:25,303 [birds chirping] 242 00:09:25,347 --> 00:09:27,654 We must rise and attack the day, my friend. 243 00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:29,960 The world wants our art. 244 00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:32,180 You're the dumbest person of all time. 245 00:09:32,223 --> 00:09:34,399 What? We sold every painting. 246 00:09:34,443 --> 00:09:36,619 And now I have to come up with new paintings. 247 00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,708 Uh, Earth to tortured artist. 248 00:09:38,752 --> 00:09:42,407 It's your muse talking, ready to inspire. 249 00:09:42,451 --> 00:09:45,062 But not ready to cook me breakfast, apparently. 250 00:09:45,106 --> 00:09:47,021 I have access to Fig Newtons. 251 00:09:48,718 --> 00:09:50,328 Fig Newtons are good. 252 00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:51,895 I forget that sometimes. 253 00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:53,462 Well, you have a lot on your mind. 254 00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:55,203 Eh, not really. But let's work. 255 00:09:58,380 --> 00:09:59,773 Sorry, I just need a sec. 256 00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:01,339 Hold that pose, though. It's perfect. 257 00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:06,083 [engine starts] 258 00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:07,713 - KLAUS: What the hell? - [tires screeching] 259 00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:09,521 [cellphone chimes] 260 00:10:09,565 --> 00:10:11,262 Had to run out and get some more Newtons. 261 00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:13,351 BRB. Do not move. 262 00:10:13,395 --> 00:10:16,354 Ugh! The life of a muse. 263 00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,271 This is [bleep] ridiculous. 264 00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:22,273 What do you think of this dance? 265 00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:23,187 Ba-da. 266 00:10:23,231 --> 00:10:24,536 Ba-da-da-da-ba. 267 00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:26,495 - Kick the salad. - KLAUS: Roger! 268 00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:28,105 BOTH: What the hell are you doing here?! 269 00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:29,498 What am I doing here? 270 00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:32,501 You kept me in that damn chair for six hours! 271 00:10:32,544 --> 00:10:35,199 Paramours, take five while I deal with this guy. 272 00:10:35,939 --> 00:10:37,593 "This guy"? 273 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:40,509 I'm your muse! Your inspiration! 274 00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:41,815 And what do you do? 275 00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:44,121 You abuse me, treat me like a dog. 276 00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:45,732 We were supposed to work, damn it! 277 00:10:45,775 --> 00:10:47,187 ROGER: Is this what you want, Klaus?! 278 00:10:47,211 --> 00:10:49,300 [grunting] 279 00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:50,432 Is this what you want?! 280 00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:52,129 It is what I want. 281 00:10:52,173 --> 00:10:54,131 That's why I just gave you all the money. 282 00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:55,916 Stop yelling at me. 283 00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:57,918 Uh, sorry! That's my fault. 284 00:10:57,961 --> 00:10:59,702 I made him mad back at the bistro. 285 00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:01,443 Forget about the bistro. 286 00:11:01,486 --> 00:11:04,402 Let's take a beach stroll, maybe have a beefstro. 287 00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:06,187 That's what I call beef stroganoff. 288 00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:11,671 - Seagull. - Majestic birds. 289 00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:13,716 Not the most majestic, though, Klaus. 290 00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,326 I-I wasn't suggesting... 291 00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:17,807 It's fine. It's fine. Just... Just be careful. 292 00:11:17,851 --> 00:11:18,678 Eat your stroge. 293 00:11:18,721 --> 00:11:20,854 [seagulls crying] 294 00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:23,073 You changed my life, Roger. 295 00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:24,945 And you, mine, Klaus. 296 00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:27,338 Your brutal takedown was the nudge I needed 297 00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:29,340 to finally put myself out there. 298 00:11:29,384 --> 00:11:32,213 Your paintings... they move people. 299 00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:33,562 Our paintings. 300 00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:35,172 Thank you. 301 00:11:35,216 --> 00:11:38,654 I'm finally a part of something meaningful. 302 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,787 You saw the real me. 303 00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:42,527 That I did do. 304 00:11:42,571 --> 00:11:44,442 I guess I feel a little less lonely 305 00:11:44,486 --> 00:11:46,444 on this big orb they call Earth. 306 00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:48,316 Who calls it that? 307 00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:49,752 E-Everyone? 308 00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:51,841 Huh. I call it Gaia. 309 00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:55,540 But I'm a special person. An artist. 310 00:11:55,584 --> 00:11:58,369 I-I was hoping we could also talk process. 311 00:11:58,413 --> 00:12:00,458 I was thinking maybe there's a way 312 00:12:00,502 --> 00:12:03,157 for me to feel less like shit at the end of every day. 313 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,116 There is, and that's actually why I brought you out here... 314 00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,205 to tell you you're fired. 315 00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:09,598 - You're fired. - What? 316 00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:11,687 - Why? - Let's go alphabetically. 317 00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,515 "A" is for albatross. 318 00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:15,169 You're an albatross around my neck. 319 00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:17,345 "B" is for bore. You bore me. 320 00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:18,346 That's an easy one. 321 00:12:18,389 --> 00:12:20,174 "P" for puke-inducing, 322 00:12:20,217 --> 00:12:23,481 "Q" for quick-to-make-me-barf, "R" for rascal. 323 00:12:23,525 --> 00:12:25,633 Well, that's... that's the one thing I do like about you. 324 00:12:25,657 --> 00:12:27,137 You're kind of a rascal. 325 00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:31,576 You fired Klaus?! 326 00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:32,795 Yeah, but not for reals. 327 00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:34,231 Just to break his heart. 328 00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:35,295 It's all part of my process. 329 00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:36,799 Your process? 330 00:12:36,843 --> 00:12:38,627 Yeah, I torture Klaus, crush his spirit, 331 00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:40,194 and then paint his sad face. 332 00:12:40,237 --> 00:12:41,586 Rinse, repeat. 333 00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:43,240 How long have you been doing this? 334 00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:45,112 Oh, gosh. Years? 335 00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:46,591 Probably since day one, yeah. 336 00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:49,464 You've been... torturing me? 337 00:12:49,507 --> 00:12:52,641 Ruining my life for paintings?! 338 00:12:52,684 --> 00:12:55,470 And sculpture and mixed media. 339 00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:57,211 Stop motion's on the horizon. 340 00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:58,690 Perhaps a line of puppets? 341 00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:00,475 Why would you do this? 342 00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:02,607 For my art, dummy! 343 00:13:02,651 --> 00:13:05,262 It comes only from pain... your pain. 344 00:13:05,306 --> 00:13:07,177 I can't take this anymore. [sobs] 345 00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:10,528 I hope I never see you again! 346 00:13:10,572 --> 00:13:12,052 [sobbing] 347 00:13:12,095 --> 00:13:13,270 Wait, Klaus! 348 00:13:13,314 --> 00:13:15,098 [sniffling] Yes? 349 00:13:15,142 --> 00:13:16,621 - [camera shutter clicks] - Wow. 350 00:13:16,665 --> 00:13:18,754 That's gonna make an amazing puppet. 351 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,625 [sobbing] 352 00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:23,498 ♪ 353 00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:26,196 Look, no one's saying me or my work has suffered 354 00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,546 from not having a muse, but the times, 355 00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:31,071 they are a-changing... Oswaldo, 356 00:13:31,114 --> 00:13:33,377 and they require an experienced muse. 357 00:13:33,421 --> 00:13:35,031 I have never done this before. 358 00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:36,946 Ugh. Go ahead and get naked, Oswaldo. 359 00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:39,122 Right here? In Coffee Bean? 360 00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:40,994 It's fine. I'm an artist. 361 00:13:43,431 --> 00:13:45,520 Unfortunately, I won't be able to pay you to start. 362 00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:47,087 Business is slow. 363 00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:49,002 You can thank my old muse for that. 364 00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:51,395 - OSWALDO: What did he do? - Ruined my art. 365 00:13:51,439 --> 00:13:52,919 Destroyed my life. 366 00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:56,270 [inhales] Toxic guy, Oswaldo. 367 00:13:56,313 --> 00:13:58,881 My only solace is knowing wherever he is now, 368 00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:01,231 he's miserable, too. 369 00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:04,626 Let's go, people! Get 'em while they're hot. 370 00:14:04,669 --> 00:14:06,671 Gluten-free for m'lady, 371 00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:10,458 and chocolate-chip for my man Brandon in the house! 372 00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:12,329 Yes! 373 00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:14,897 Where did you even come from, Klaus Heisler? 374 00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:16,986 Mwah! Hey, when I get home, 375 00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:18,596 we're gonna tackle that algebra. 376 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,294 - Deal? - Deal. 377 00:14:20,337 --> 00:14:23,253 ♪ 378 00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:25,734 How we lookin' on that Tuscan Grilled Chicken, Shaneese? 379 00:14:25,777 --> 00:14:27,736 - It's close, boss. - Love it. 380 00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:29,259 Are we having fun? 381 00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:30,434 - Yes! - Yes! 382 00:14:30,478 --> 00:14:31,871 And remember... 383 00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:34,351 ALL: It's only paninis! 384 00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:40,357 - [lid clanging] - Mother Goose? 385 00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:43,360 Roger? Uh... what are you doing here? 386 00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:45,145 Me? What about you? 387 00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:47,451 Well, I work here, at Panera Bread. 388 00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:49,062 I'm actually the manager. 389 00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:50,933 Still pursuing your storytelling? 390 00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:53,936 Nah. Between work and Denise and Brandon, 391 00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:55,372 I don't have time. 392 00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:57,200 Whoa! "Denise and Brandon"? 393 00:14:57,244 --> 00:14:58,767 Who am I talkin' to, Ward Cleaver? 394 00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:00,464 [chuckling] Right? 395 00:15:00,508 --> 00:15:03,206 All I need now is a basset hound to bring me my slippers. 396 00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:07,471 [laughs] Too funny. 397 00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:10,605 So, what are you up to these days? 398 00:15:10,648 --> 00:15:12,694 Ah, still doin' my art thang, so that's been good. 399 00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:14,174 Really jammin' on that. 400 00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:15,827 Also doing a lot more heroin 401 00:15:15,871 --> 00:15:16,741 than when we were working together, 402 00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:19,048 which has been nice. 403 00:15:19,092 --> 00:15:20,702 Well, I better get back in there. 404 00:15:20,745 --> 00:15:22,660 Yeah, no, I should probably do this heroin. 405 00:15:22,704 --> 00:15:25,185 - It was good bumping into you. - For sure, yeah. 406 00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:27,056 Hey, uh, if you ever get that muse itch, 407 00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,492 swing by the studio. 408 00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:30,233 Yeah, I-I probably won't be by... 409 00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:31,974 Yeah, probably best. 410 00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:33,604 I don't want the studio to smell like a Panera. 411 00:15:33,628 --> 00:15:34,672 Have a good life, Roger. 412 00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:35,978 Havin' one, my dude. 413 00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:37,675 [lid clangs] 414 00:15:37,719 --> 00:15:39,373 KLAUS: ♪ Oh, it's spaghetti night ♪ 415 00:15:39,416 --> 00:15:41,462 ♪ And the feeling's right ♪ 416 00:15:41,505 --> 00:15:44,073 ♪ Oh, it's spaghetti night, oh, what a night ♪ 417 00:15:44,117 --> 00:15:45,031 - [door bangs] - [all scream] 418 00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:47,033 Klaus, I need you back! 419 00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:48,773 Is this your friend from the Dumpster? 420 00:15:48,817 --> 00:15:51,080 Brava, Denise. 421 00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:53,343 You've got it all figured out, don't ya? 422 00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:56,520 Well, did you know I was gonna bring this plastic sword?! 423 00:15:56,564 --> 00:15:58,914 [grunting] 424 00:15:58,958 --> 00:15:59,784 I'm calling the police. 425 00:15:59,828 --> 00:16:01,525 Pastor Mike did say 426 00:16:01,569 --> 00:16:05,007 to look for opportunities to bear witness. 427 00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:07,140 Roger, why don't you join us? 428 00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:09,403 Mmm. Oh. Oh, I bet you'd like that. 429 00:16:09,446 --> 00:16:11,187 Ah. You'd just love to see me choke 430 00:16:11,231 --> 00:16:13,276 on Denise's shitty meatballs. 431 00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:14,756 This guy hates me. 432 00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:16,888 Not true. I want to thank you. 433 00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:18,716 You set me free. 434 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:21,545 Oh... Oh, free to get your balls cut off by Denise here? 435 00:16:21,589 --> 00:16:25,506 I'm aware of you, Denise, just as you are of me. 436 00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:28,422 My whole life, I thought I was a miserable guy. 437 00:16:28,465 --> 00:16:31,425 Worse, I thought I brought it all on myself. 438 00:16:31,468 --> 00:16:33,949 Turns out, it was you. 439 00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,342 What's your point, Aesop? 440 00:16:35,385 --> 00:16:37,170 Aesop tells fables, Denise. 441 00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:39,781 I never had a chance to be happy. 442 00:16:39,824 --> 00:16:42,349 You were sabotaging me! 443 00:16:42,392 --> 00:16:45,830 Can we just cut the bull and get back to work, Klaus? 444 00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:48,877 Don't you see? I'm finally happy. 445 00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:50,270 What about "meaning"? 446 00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:52,228 This guy is so horny for meaning. 447 00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:56,058 I found meaning, with these two whackadoos, 448 00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:58,800 and all the lives I touch at Panera. 449 00:16:58,843 --> 00:17:02,064 Enough! I can't stand to look at you one second more. 450 00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:06,112 So, with my dignity intact, I will now take my leave. 451 00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:07,548 Forever! Ah! 452 00:17:07,591 --> 00:17:09,245 Oh, God! Oh, no! 453 00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:12,074 Oh, I'm doing both kinds of bathroom! 454 00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:13,945 Denise, what kind of flooring we dealin' with? 455 00:17:13,989 --> 00:17:15,904 If it's linoleum, bring the hose in here. 456 00:17:15,947 --> 00:17:18,080 In the meantime, gather anything absorbent... 457 00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:20,691 beach towels, bath towels, shop rags. 458 00:17:20,735 --> 00:17:23,912 Oh, if you have a shop, sawdust would be a godsend. 459 00:17:23,955 --> 00:17:26,480 That's perfect world. I could make cotton balls work. 460 00:17:26,523 --> 00:17:29,483 Now, we do need someone to take the lead on ventilation... 461 00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:31,702 opening doors, windows, gathering fans. 462 00:17:31,746 --> 00:17:33,661 - I can do that. - ROGER: Wow, Brandon. 463 00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:35,010 Way to step up. 464 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,664 Everybody look at Brandon. 465 00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:40,059 ♪ 466 00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:41,103 There it is! 467 00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:42,757 HAYLEY: Ramming speed! 468 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,194 [all shouting] 469 00:17:45,238 --> 00:17:48,067 [Killdozer clanging and screeching] 470 00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:52,767 The Sharks won the Megabowl? 471 00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:55,248 Yeah. Hey, you're Stan Smith. 472 00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:56,858 Uh, m-may... maybe not. 473 00:17:56,901 --> 00:17:59,034 You're famous here! 474 00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,438 We took another look at your letter 475 00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:02,429 and realized you were right. 476 00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:05,867 Smashmouth football was the key to our undefeated season. 477 00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:07,651 You listened to us? 478 00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:10,567 So... rampage over? 479 00:18:10,611 --> 00:18:13,483 But... no rampage. 480 00:18:13,527 --> 00:18:16,269 But Killdozer need to eat. 481 00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:18,009 Welp, I'll leave you to it, then. 482 00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:20,360 Go, Sharks! 483 00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:22,144 ALL [weakly]: Go, Sharks. 484 00:18:22,188 --> 00:18:26,061 ♪ 485 00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,368 Wow, honey. Check out Roger. 486 00:18:28,411 --> 00:18:29,867 You were skeptical when he reached out, 487 00:18:29,891 --> 00:18:31,675 but he looks like a new man. 488 00:18:31,719 --> 00:18:33,547 Thank you all for coming. 489 00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:36,463 First, I'd like to give a shout-out to my sponsor, Mark. 490 00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:40,684 30 days sober thanks to that amazing human. 491 00:18:40,728 --> 00:18:43,252 I'd also like to acknowledge Klaus Heisler over there. 492 00:18:43,296 --> 00:18:46,429 Klaus was my muse, but I hurt him. 493 00:18:46,473 --> 00:18:49,519 I thought great art came only from pain, 494 00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:52,261 but beauty isn't born from misery alone. 495 00:18:52,305 --> 00:18:55,177 There's also the wellspring of joy. 496 00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:57,005 You taught me that, Klaus. 497 00:18:57,048 --> 00:18:59,834 You continue to inspire me. 498 00:18:59,877 --> 00:19:01,009 Thank you. 499 00:19:01,052 --> 00:19:04,491 [applause] 500 00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:06,580 And now, art. 501 00:19:06,623 --> 00:19:09,800 Feast your eyes on my greatest masterpiece... 502 00:19:09,844 --> 00:19:12,238 Spaghetti Night! 503 00:19:12,281 --> 00:19:13,543 - [crowd murmuring] - Woof. 504 00:19:13,587 --> 00:19:15,589 This one's a dog. 505 00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:17,895 Oh, wow! Spaghetti Night! 506 00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:19,723 Pretty awesome, right? 507 00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:21,551 The eyes. 508 00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:23,901 - They're dead. - They're meatballs! 509 00:19:23,945 --> 00:19:27,514 I think it's cool because it's a statue of you... Dad. 510 00:19:27,557 --> 00:19:28,689 You're an imbecile, Brandon. 511 00:19:28,732 --> 00:19:30,560 Klaus! 512 00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:33,041 There's no depth, no pathos. 513 00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:34,956 It sucks! 514 00:19:34,999 --> 00:19:37,393 I'm not this corny-ass Mr. Rogers. 515 00:19:37,437 --> 00:19:40,614 Uh-oh. That's a quarter for the swear jar, Klaus. 516 00:19:40,657 --> 00:19:42,616 Here's 50 cents. Go buy some new tits! 517 00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:44,226 Excuse me?! 518 00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:46,576 You did this to me! We're finished! 519 00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,404 Brandon, why did you even bring a football?! 520 00:19:48,448 --> 00:19:51,407 It's an art gallery! I hate you! 521 00:19:51,451 --> 00:19:55,150 [sobbing] I hate you! 522 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,413 I hate myself! 523 00:19:57,457 --> 00:19:59,807 [sobs] 524 00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:01,243 There he is! 525 00:20:01,287 --> 00:20:03,027 There's the Klaus I know and love! 526 00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:04,203 I knew the misery 527 00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:05,595 was still inside you! 528 00:20:05,639 --> 00:20:07,380 You obviously didn't know when 529 00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:08,990 you squeezed out this turd. 530 00:20:09,033 --> 00:20:10,600 Oh, didn't I? 531 00:20:13,821 --> 00:20:16,432 [gasps] It's me. 532 00:20:16,476 --> 00:20:18,347 The real me. 533 00:20:18,391 --> 00:20:19,783 Thank you, Roger. 534 00:20:19,827 --> 00:20:24,092 I am your muse, now and forever. 535 00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:26,486 Yes! We're back, old friend! 536 00:20:26,529 --> 00:20:28,227 But about that... we're not back. 537 00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:30,794 I've given up art to follow my true passion... 538 00:20:30,838 --> 00:20:31,839 doing heroin. 539 00:20:31,882 --> 00:20:34,233 We're back, old friend! 540 00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:37,453 Denise? 541 00:20:37,497 --> 00:20:39,063 Ah, she headed out. 542 00:20:40,282 --> 00:20:41,892 Dad, this was a great idea. 543 00:20:41,936 --> 00:20:43,242 Well, it would have been a shame 544 00:20:43,285 --> 00:20:45,113 making the thousand-mile journey home 545 00:20:45,156 --> 00:20:46,636 without rampaging something. 546 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,944 Feast, Killdozer! Feast! 547 00:20:52,468 --> 00:20:54,122 Why? 548 00:20:54,165 --> 00:20:55,732 Then again, why not? 549 00:20:57,081 --> 00:20:58,387 Have a great night!