1
00:00:02,303 --> 00:00:04,036
Dad, I'm gonna be late
for registration.
2
00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:06,205
Well, you're already two years
late for graduation, so...
3
00:00:06,207 --> 00:00:07,606
Just take a side street.
4
00:00:07,608 --> 00:00:08,941
Hayley, you were right here
5
00:00:08,943 --> 00:00:10,976
when I enter our destination
on the nav.
6
00:00:10,978 --> 00:00:12,711
That's the plan
and I'm sticking to it.
7
00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:14,279
So, you're just gonna
drive behind
8
00:00:14,281 --> 00:00:16,048
the Bazooka Sharks
championship parade.
9
00:00:16,050 --> 00:00:17,316
Yeah.
10
00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:19,485
(cheers and applause)
11
00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:21,520
Obviously you're not a planner.
12
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,022
I mean, the course catalogue
you're looking at
13
00:00:23,024 --> 00:00:24,523
is a pizza menu.
14
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,492
Aww, so black olives
doesn't meet
15
00:00:26,494 --> 00:00:28,293
my Cultural Studies
requirement.
16
00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:30,229
All I'm saying is that
you lack focus,
17
00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:31,997
and that's what a plan
gives you.
18
00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:34,867
Maybe if you stuck to a plan,
you wouldn't be such a --
19
00:00:34,869 --> 00:00:36,702
well, I wouldn't say
a failure.
20
00:00:36,704 --> 00:00:38,237
Oh.
Well what would you say, then?
21
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:41,040
I won't say a failure.
But you keep saying that.
22
00:00:41,042 --> 00:00:42,474
"Failure" is the only word
you're saying.
23
00:00:42,476 --> 00:00:44,376
Your words, not mine.
24
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:49,081
(snoring)
25
00:00:49,083 --> 00:00:51,150
Uh, sir?
(gasps)
26
00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:53,986
And I say, "Look, I'm happy
you're having your night."
27
00:00:53,988 --> 00:00:57,389
So underneath it, there's love.
28
00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:00,526
'Cause when the chips are down,
are you there for each other?
29
00:01:00,528 --> 00:01:01,994
Are you doing this,
30
00:01:01,996 --> 00:01:05,597
"you're selfish,"
"you're unwieldy" stuff?
31
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:08,700
Is this still about
the arms dealer mission?
32
00:01:08,702 --> 00:01:11,603
This is about any relationship
you're building.
33
00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:14,373
(groans) Maybe a single diagram
will help.
34
00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:17,776
There's still that, uh,
important phrase.
35
00:01:17,778 --> 00:01:19,411
Important phrase.
36
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,514
Oh, but he has a different
important phrase
37
00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:24,516
that's underneath it,
you know?
38
00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:26,418
So that's one version of it.
39
00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:28,954
This is where it breaks down
in my mind.
40
00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:33,225
I mean, that could be a cleaner
versus un-cleaner ring to it.
41
00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:35,294
Does any of this make sense?
42
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:37,229
No, no. It totally makes sense
what you're saying, sir.
43
00:01:37,231 --> 00:01:39,631
Good. Smith, you'll head up
the mission.
44
00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:43,402
And don't forget this part.
45
00:01:43,404 --> 00:01:47,372
Ohh.
Ahh.
46
00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:50,109
(theme music plays)
47
00:01:50,111 --> 00:01:52,611
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
48
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:56,482
¶ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ¶
49
00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:59,485
¶ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ¶
50
00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:03,222
¶ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ¶
51
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:09,294
¶ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ¶
52
00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:11,597
¶ Good -- ¶
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
53
00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:14,233
Aah!
54
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:17,369
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
55
00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:23,809
I got the recipe for this soup
from a magazine.
56
00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:25,577
That's great, Francine.
57
00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:28,981
Your quest for knowledge is
taking you to incredible places.
58
00:02:28,983 --> 00:02:31,850
Well, what do you think?
59
00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:33,118
(vomits)
60
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:35,087
It's not your soup, Mom.
61
00:02:35,089 --> 00:02:38,857
My husband is getting
into hallucinogenic teas.
62
00:02:38,859 --> 00:02:40,926
See?
This is what I'm talking about.
63
00:02:40,928 --> 00:02:43,095
What's that, Dad?
Your sister ran off
64
00:02:43,097 --> 00:02:45,330
and got married with no idea
what she was doing.
65
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:46,965
You had no plan!
66
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:49,168
And now you're surprised the guy
turns out to be a bum?
67
00:02:49,170 --> 00:02:51,837
(gagging, vomits)
Gross! Gross!
68
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:54,673
Worse! Worse!
69
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:57,376
Dad, no plan could have
predicted my husband
70
00:02:57,378 --> 00:02:58,977
turning into this --
71
00:02:58,979 --> 00:03:00,979
tripping on tea
and hallucinating
72
00:03:00,981 --> 00:03:02,281
he was on another planet.
73
00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:03,649
But it happened, babe.
74
00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:06,451
On that trip,
I lived an entire lifetime.
75
00:03:06,453 --> 00:03:10,122
And I dedicated it to mastering
an exotic musical instrument.
76
00:03:10,124 --> 00:03:12,624
(laughing) Whoa!
Kindle on sleep mode.
77
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:15,294
I think I'm gonna have to see
this one all the way through.
78
00:03:15,296 --> 00:03:17,696
Look. You don't have to be
as aimless as him.
79
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:20,165
Come to work with me -- you'll
see a bunch of guys
80
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:22,000
whose lives depend on planning.
81
00:03:22,002 --> 00:03:23,335
I guess it couldn't hurt.
82
00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:26,405
The soup is from
Bicycling Magazine.
83
00:03:26,407 --> 00:03:30,976
It's called "Homemade Paste
For Patching a Flat Tire."
84
00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:37,583
All right, Jeff.
Set the scene.
85
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:40,586
You drank this tea and you were
transported to a planet
86
00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:42,087
called...
Gewee.
87
00:03:42,089 --> 00:03:44,089
Gewee!
What a cute name!
88
00:03:44,091 --> 00:03:46,425
And there you played an
instrument.
89
00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:48,327
The turin.
The turin!
90
00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:50,529
Marvelous!
Just marvelous!
91
00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:52,397
Roger, are you teasing Jeff
or what?
92
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:55,901
Do you believe this?
Steve, I am today trying to,
93
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:59,504
for once in my life,
have a tiny bit of fun.
94
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:01,940
I just need to buy a turin,
play it for Hayley,
95
00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:03,842
and show her I'm not
totally crazy.
96
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,510
Can I help you guys?
97
00:04:05,512 --> 00:04:08,080
I'm looking for a turin.
I've never heard
of a turin, man.
98
00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:10,015
This turkey's never heard of
a turin.
99
00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:13,185
It's like a lute
and a bagpipe in one,
100
00:04:13,187 --> 00:04:16,722
where the body of the lute
is the bag of the bagpipe.
101
00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:18,690
Uh, but how can --
102
00:04:18,692 --> 00:04:21,126
On the turin, the body is soft
because it's made from
103
00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:22,628
the skin
of a yarelwood fruit.
104
00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:24,529
He became the master
of this instrument
105
00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:26,131
while on a
shamanistic voyage.
106
00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:28,867
A master of the instrument,
Roger.
107
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,736
I'm no Pu Aberlmarl.
108
00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:32,237
Of course!
No one's saying that.
109
00:04:32,239 --> 00:04:34,806
But I think I play pretty well
110
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:36,608
for a guy with just
one mouth.
111
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:38,076
Maybe you could
make one, Jeff.
112
00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:39,711
I'd really like to hear
this thing.
113
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:42,881
Imagine a person who didn't want
to hear the turin played.
114
00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:45,450
I can't even start.
I mean, what --
115
00:04:45,452 --> 00:04:48,453
Okay, okay. I need to put that
kind of person out of my mind.
116
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,989
Because that kind of person
makes me furious!
117
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:52,658
Oh, no.
Look.
118
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:55,627
Let's just chill and get some
yarelwood tomorrow.
119
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,796
Female yarelwood.
120
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,798
I don't want that thing
biting me.
121
00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:03,135
(laughs) Fun!
That's a fun detail.
122
00:05:03,137 --> 00:05:06,772
So, Bullock puts a plan together
and you guys follow it through.
123
00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:08,607
What is the plan exactly?
124
00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:11,243
It's right here. We open it
at the rendezvous point.
125
00:05:11,245 --> 00:05:14,613
Then we surprise and scoop up
a group of unarmed
126
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:16,348
Russian arms dealers.
127
00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:18,984
H-how can a-arms dealers
be unarmed?
128
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:20,786
That's what
I've been saying!
129
00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:22,521
We're at rendezvous
coordinates.
130
00:05:22,523 --> 00:05:24,256
I don't think we should
park here.
131
00:05:24,258 --> 00:05:27,659
This van doesn't blend in
the way Bullock thinks it does.
132
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:31,196
STAN: It's called camouflage,
and it works.
133
00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:33,031
Not in the nature shows
I've seen.
134
00:05:33,033 --> 00:05:35,500
Zebras are always getting
munched up.
135
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:37,969
Everyone just re-lax.
136
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:39,805
I have Bullock's plan
right here.
137
00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:41,673
Alpha Team.
Cool, right?
138
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,608
What's it say?
139
00:05:43,610 --> 00:05:44,976
Hold on.
What?
140
00:05:44,978 --> 00:05:47,779
It says "HOLD ON."
Hold on!
141
00:05:47,781 --> 00:05:50,449
(glass breaks)
142
00:05:50,451 --> 00:05:52,117
That must have been Bravo Team!
We're in!
143
00:05:52,119 --> 00:05:53,352
Let's roll, Dick!
144
00:05:53,354 --> 00:05:54,920
(horn blares)
145
00:05:57,624 --> 00:06:00,492
See?! They're unarmed!
Engage!
146
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:03,195
What?!
They all have guns!
147
00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:05,364
Remember!
The plan was to hold on!
148
00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:07,799
Screw that! Run!
149
00:06:07,801 --> 00:06:09,368
(gunfire, glass shatters)
150
00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:11,436
(tires squeal)
151
00:06:13,974 --> 00:06:16,341
Oh, great, Hayley.
We abandoned the plan.
152
00:06:16,343 --> 00:06:18,977
Now Bravo Team's gonna get
all the glory.
153
00:06:18,979 --> 00:06:21,813
MAN: Aah!
154
00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:26,585
I can't believe you almost
got me killed!
155
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,186
There's something going on
with Bullock.
156
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:29,855
But don't give up on
making plans.
157
00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:31,356
Oh, okay.
How about this?
158
00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:33,658
I plan
to go out and get wasted.
159
00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:36,395
I just don't want you wandering
aimlessly through life.
160
00:06:36,397 --> 00:06:39,097
You're better than that.
You always want me to be better.
161
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:41,533
Why can't you just like me
for who I am?
162
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:45,237
Hey, guys. We were just watching
some boob tube over here.
163
00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:47,439
Out of earshot,
if you were wondering.
164
00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:50,175
Yeah!
It's a show where
165
00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:52,944
celebrities dive into a pool
and get scores.
166
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:56,014
So...
So, that's what we are doing.
167
00:06:58,185 --> 00:07:01,686
¶¶
168
00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:03,789
What's wrong?
(scoffs)
169
00:07:03,791 --> 00:07:06,725
No. Come on. No!
170
00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:08,627
Don't be sad!
171
00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:11,630
Listen to this deejay.
He's amazing.
172
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:15,600
You know, he's been winning
every night for two weeks!
173
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:19,704
Tears?
No tears.
174
00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:20,939
No.
175
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:24,543
Can I have some money?
176
00:07:24,545 --> 00:07:26,211
(giggles)
177
00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:30,982
(electronic music plays)
178
00:07:35,389 --> 00:07:37,989
DJ Buttercup in the house!
179
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:41,159
I'm here all night -- except
when I take a break at 3:00.
180
00:07:41,161 --> 00:07:42,928
ALL: Aw!
181
00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:45,497
To have sex with at least five
of you.
182
00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:48,567
(cheers and applause)
183
00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:57,275
So, Hayley told you I've been
deejaying every night
184
00:07:57,277 --> 00:07:58,743
for the last two weeks?
185
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:00,745
Right, and over that time,
the number of agents
186
00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:02,914
who are alive has dropped
radically.
187
00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:05,083
And?
Well, maybe it has something
188
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:06,952
to do with these extremely
dangerous missions
189
00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:08,286
you've been planning.
190
00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:09,988
I mean,
have you been sleeping?
191
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,823
I don't need sleep anymore!
192
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,259
Not since I bought all this
trucker speed.
193
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:17,529
I'm done wasting
my creativity on dreams.
194
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:20,031
Now I channel it all into
my work.
195
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:23,001
Your deejay work or your
National Security work?
196
00:08:23,003 --> 00:08:24,469
You think there's
a difference?
197
00:08:24,471 --> 00:08:26,872
Sure.
It started innocently enough.
198
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:31,443
I got into deejaying to bang the
teenage girls high on sex drugs.
199
00:08:31,445 --> 00:08:35,113
But then I realized there
was a darker side.
200
00:08:35,115 --> 00:08:38,683
What if the terrorists
go after our beats next?
201
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:41,553
I-I-I don't --
H-how could they even do that?
202
00:08:41,555 --> 00:08:44,623
I'm deep in the deejay world
protecting American freedoms,
203
00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:47,692
and I'm gonna stay there
until someone defeats me.
204
00:08:47,694 --> 00:08:51,563
If you want me to stop, you'll
have to dethrone me yourself.
205
00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:53,899
Sir, I'm not a deejay.
Of course you aren't.
206
00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:56,902
So I suggest you focus on your
next mission.
207
00:08:56,904 --> 00:08:58,637
Another one?
Right away?
208
00:08:58,639 --> 00:09:01,506
You and your team will travel to
Mecca to film a shot-for-shot
209
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:04,142
remake of the scene in "2001"
210
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:06,311
where the apes fight around
the monolith.
211
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:08,313
Like, in monkey suits?
212
00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:09,681
Around the black cube?
213
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,716
That's the most sacred site
in Islam.
214
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,818
Your monkey movie is
top priority.
215
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:16,855
I'm already hearing
Oscar whispers.
216
00:09:16,857 --> 00:09:19,257
Or some sort of whispering.
217
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,326
Do you hear voices, Smith?
218
00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:23,562
Yes. They're telling me if I
don't want to die
219
00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:26,698
in monkey costume, I need
to learn how to deejay.
220
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:30,035
And that was "Let's Get Lost"
by Chet Baker,
221
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:32,437
who either fell or was thrown
to his death
222
00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:34,706
from a hotel room window
in Amsterdam.
223
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:36,841
I like to think he was thrown.
224
00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:40,579
(laughs) Is this what you
think deejaying is?
225
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:43,448
Speaking of windows, this is
"Come to My Window,"
226
00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:46,518
made famous by public lesbian
Melissa Etheridge.
227
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,721
ROGER:
¶ Come to my window ¶
228
00:09:49,723 --> 00:09:54,059
¶ Crawl inside, wait by
the light of the moon ¶
229
00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:56,795
This is deejaying.
230
00:09:56,797 --> 00:09:58,630
That's deejaying?
231
00:09:58,632 --> 00:10:00,899
Well, how am I supposed to learn
that in two days?
232
00:10:00,901 --> 00:10:04,035
Not by playing "Roger Goes Down
on Lilith Fair."
233
00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:10,241
I got no yarelwood in inventory.
Is it called anything else?
234
00:10:10,243 --> 00:10:13,745
Well I guess the ancient word
for it is dragonwood,
235
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:16,548
which makes sense because it's
used to make an instrument
236
00:10:16,550 --> 00:10:17,816
that soothes dragons.
237
00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:19,584
That makes a lot of sense.
Does it?
238
00:10:19,586 --> 00:10:21,453
'Cause it seems crazy.
Okay, guys.
239
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,088
I have a lot of work to do.
240
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:25,824
Yarelwood is the most common
wood on the planet Gewee.
241
00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:27,993
Gotcha.
242
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:30,595
Maybe there's a wood
like yarelwood.
243
00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:33,465
Really, any wood from a tree
that grows when you sleep by it
244
00:10:33,467 --> 00:10:35,500
and swell it with
your dreams!
245
00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:38,003
Maybe plywood?
246
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:40,438
What, I don't know how you
grow plywood.
247
00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:42,841
(laughs)
Just when I thought I'd heard
248
00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:45,677
every wood joke there was,
I hear a fresh one.
249
00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,846
Help yourself to the scrap wood
around back.
250
00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:49,848
(chuckles)
You've earned it.
251
00:10:49,850 --> 00:10:52,484
Did you get
my joke back there?
252
00:10:52,486 --> 00:10:54,586
I don't know.
What was it?
253
00:10:54,588 --> 00:10:56,354
I don't know.
254
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:01,526
And he was talking into his lamp
like it was a microphone.
255
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:04,162
Anyway, he looked so --
256
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,131
Stupid.
I know, I looked stupid.
257
00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:08,266
Plus I owe Snot
concert tickets.
258
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:10,435
He called for Steve, and he
was the ninth caller.
259
00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:12,003
Anyway, I'm in way over
my head here.
260
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,471
Can you help me plan
my deejay set?
261
00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:15,607
You can't plan a deejay set.
262
00:11:15,609 --> 00:11:17,942
You've got to read the room,
go with the flow,
263
00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:20,679
know when to heat things up
and when to cool things out.
264
00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:22,347
But I've always needed
a plan.
265
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:23,782
Well, then, you're gonna lose
to Bullock.
266
00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:25,617
I'm gonna lose more
than that.
267
00:11:25,619 --> 00:11:28,319
'Cause if I can't beat him,
I have to lead his next mission.
268
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:30,555
Wait, he --
he planned another mission?
269
00:11:30,557 --> 00:11:32,957
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.
270
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:34,993
Th-that's suicide!
271
00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:38,229
Stan, this suicide mission
sounds...risky.
272
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:41,533
Risky? How? Suicide's just that
thing when you mix
273
00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:44,469
all the sodas together
into one super soda.
274
00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:46,137
Here, Dad, drink this tea.
275
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:47,906
Uck!
That was terrible!
276
00:11:47,908 --> 00:11:50,642
It was Jeff's Brazilian tea.
You drugged me?!
277
00:11:50,644 --> 00:11:52,310
Dad, you're out of time.
278
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:53,845
Maybe this will
rewire your mind,
279
00:11:53,847 --> 00:11:55,413
help you improvise
and beat Bullock.
280
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:56,681
Ooh.
281
00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:58,850
I haven't had mushroom tea
in ages.
282
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:02,087
What? You did it last weekend
at the Sheraton Hotel --
283
00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:05,256
--ton Hotel bar.
Let's go there.
284
00:12:05,258 --> 00:12:08,460
I'm starting...to feel
something.
285
00:12:11,398 --> 00:12:12,997
Dad, are you okay?
286
00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:14,332
I think I should sit down.
287
00:12:14,334 --> 00:12:16,701
Um, you already fell down.
288
00:12:16,703 --> 00:12:18,203
You're lying by your
throw-up bucket.
289
00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:20,772
(bones click melodically)
290
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:26,811
(electronic music playing)
291
00:12:38,291 --> 00:12:40,859
(eyeballs popping)
292
00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:48,133
Dad?
Dad, are you okay?
293
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:50,101
Dad, are you okay?
294
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:51,970
(music resumes)
295
00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:54,539
(bullock laughing)
296
00:13:01,882 --> 00:13:04,149
BULLOCK: Oscar whispers.
297
00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:06,718
(eagle screeches)
298
00:13:08,822 --> 00:13:10,822
(bullock laughing)
299
00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:14,025
(music continues)
300
00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:25,503
HAYLEY: Go with the flow!
Go with the flow.
301
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:28,239
Go with the flow.
Go with the flow.
Go with the flow...
302
00:13:28,241 --> 00:13:31,242
I got this.
I can go with the flow.
303
00:13:31,244 --> 00:13:34,245
I can beat Bullock.
304
00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:36,681
¶¶
305
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:38,683
¶ Go ¶
306
00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:41,319
(electronic music playing)
307
00:13:43,456 --> 00:13:45,924
(cheering)
308
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,695
We have a new champion!
309
00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:53,965
Let's hear it for
Standard Deviation!
310
00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:56,367
(cheers and applause)
311
00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:59,304
You did it, Dad!
You improvised!
312
00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:01,773
Nope. I just downloaded a set
from YouTube
313
00:14:01,775 --> 00:14:03,007
onto this zip drive.
314
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,976
Dad!
Awesome, huh?
315
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:07,879
Some weirdo called Sam F. who
had about a gazillion likes
316
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:09,881
made it.
It was the perfect plan!
317
00:14:09,883 --> 00:14:12,217
Ugh, who cares?
You're safe!
318
00:14:12,219 --> 00:14:13,985
But hide that thing,
you doof.
319
00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:16,621
Come with us,
C.I.A. scum!
320
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:18,056
(screams)
321
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:19,724
Help!
Someone's kidnapped my dad!
322
00:14:19,726 --> 00:14:22,026
I'm on it.
¶ Someone's kidnapped my -- ¶
323
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:23,494
(distorted)
¶ Someone's kidnapped my --
Someone's kidnapped my -- ¶
324
00:14:23,496 --> 00:14:26,064
(music trills)
325
00:14:26,066 --> 00:14:28,433
(cheers and applause)
Whoa. Cool.
326
00:14:33,006 --> 00:14:35,640
(Russian accent)
Deputy Director Bullock.
327
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:39,177
You screw with my arms dealing
for the last time.
328
00:14:39,179 --> 00:14:41,045
Oh, this is great.
Heh!
329
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:43,147
I was kind of freaking out with
the bag over my head
330
00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:44,482
and all the Russian talk.
331
00:14:44,484 --> 00:14:46,317
You know, which always sounds
angry.
332
00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:47,752
(making garbled noises)
333
00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:49,053
(chuckles)
But -- Whew! --
334
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:50,321
you got the wrong guy.
Heh.
335
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:52,056
You are Bullock.
336
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:55,693
You win deejay battle every
night and run C.I.A. every day.
337
00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:58,096
You say so on Facebook page.
338
00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:59,898
That's not me. Tonight's
the first time
339
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:02,734
I won the deejay thing.
I'm just a normal guy.
340
00:15:02,736 --> 00:15:04,569
Let me show you.
Mm...okay.
341
00:15:04,571 --> 00:15:08,006
But don't close that window.
I am picking movie seats.
342
00:15:08,008 --> 00:15:09,941
Look. I'm a piano tuner.
343
00:15:09,943 --> 00:15:11,242
My name's Jim Steele.
344
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,610
Morons!
345
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:14,579
I have no time for this!
346
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:18,049
Is my daughter Tasha's birthday.
Sorry for inconvenience.
347
00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:19,617
I understand.
I have a daughter.
348
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,185
Throw him from cliff.
349
00:15:21,187 --> 00:15:23,721
(screaming)
350
00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:26,291
(screaming continues)
351
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:30,228
Oh, my God. For a second,
I thought that was me.
352
00:15:30,230 --> 00:15:31,963
(crying)
353
00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:34,465
The deejay
is ruining my party!
354
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:36,467
Don't cry, cookie.
355
00:15:36,469 --> 00:15:38,636
Throw deejay from cliff
after this guy.
356
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:42,540
Wait. I'm a great deejay.
I can save her party.
357
00:15:47,147 --> 00:15:51,115
Save Tasha's party and you can
forget about cliff.
358
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,551
Forget about your beautiful
cliff?
359
00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:55,987
Not on your life.
It's majestic!
360
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,588
You make joke.
361
00:15:57,590 --> 00:16:00,425
But two favorite things are
daughter and cliff.
362
00:16:00,427 --> 00:16:04,996
Oh! Who do you think is my
favorite character on "Cheers"?
363
00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:06,397
Cliff?
364
00:16:06,399 --> 00:16:08,433
No. Norm.
365
00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:11,936
He always have pleasure of
being with Cliff.
366
00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:14,339
(laughs)
367
00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:16,407
(laughter)
368
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:18,076
(screaming)
369
00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:20,912
(thuds)
My memory stick!
370
00:16:20,914 --> 00:16:22,146
Is problem?
371
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,815
Uh, no.
No, n-no problem.
372
00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:26,417
I just need
a new memory stick.
373
00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:28,286
They're only magnets.
Metal.
374
00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:30,688
Stuff you mine.
Like from this cliff!
375
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:33,424
Careful, guy.
That is my cliff.
376
00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:35,159
(grunts)
(gasps)
377
00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:37,929
There's got to be
something here.
378
00:16:37,931 --> 00:16:41,499
Iron ore.
379
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,334
Nickel-cadmium.
380
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:47,138
The two main ingredients in
a thumb drive.
381
00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:50,675
Full of music.
(kisses)
382
00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:53,277
(dance music plays)
383
00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:02,620
(retching)
384
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,226
Wha-- what's going on?
385
00:17:08,228 --> 00:17:10,728
How did I get back here?
You never left.
386
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:13,031
You've been on a psychedelic
trip for 24 hours.
387
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:16,067
But you were never alone.
I saw to that, bro.
388
00:17:16,069 --> 00:17:19,704
Dad, we only have 20 minutes to
get you to the deejay battle.
389
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:22,306
So, I-I didn't beat Bullock?
390
00:17:22,308 --> 00:17:24,809
No, Stan. You were just humming
the "Cheers" theme song
391
00:17:24,811 --> 00:17:26,544
and shitting yourself.
392
00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:30,581
(tapping)
Testing, testing.
393
00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,650
Can't he just play it, Roger?
394
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:34,652
It's my shift to watch
Stan again.
395
00:17:34,654 --> 00:17:36,220
Look, Stan's as good as dead.
396
00:17:36,222 --> 00:17:38,589
His heart stopped four times
last night, right?
397
00:17:38,591 --> 00:17:40,391
And he's leaving on a suicide
mission tomorrow.
398
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:43,061
So please, let's focus on
what still matters.
399
00:17:43,063 --> 00:17:46,898
This is the first recording,
at least on Earth, of the turin.
400
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:49,400
What -- what -- what's this
about a suicide mission?
401
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,269
I thought Dad had
food poisoning.
402
00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:52,870
Look, everybody's gonna be
fine, all right?
403
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:54,806
Let's just sit and enjoy
the music.
404
00:17:58,445 --> 00:18:01,112
No.
No, it's not the time.
405
00:18:01,114 --> 00:18:03,214
What?! Of course it's the time!
Play it!
406
00:18:03,216 --> 00:18:05,516
You can't just play the turin.
407
00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:07,685
It tells you when to play it.
408
00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:09,887
What in the ffff-- fine!
409
00:18:09,889 --> 00:18:12,123
And is it telling you
anything now?
410
00:18:12,125 --> 00:18:13,758
No.
411
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,393
Is this bullshit, man?
412
00:18:15,395 --> 00:18:17,862
'Cause my best friend is dying
just down the hall.
413
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:20,531
What is happening?!
414
00:18:20,533 --> 00:18:22,733
(tires screech, horns honk)
415
00:18:22,735 --> 00:18:25,236
It's amazing, but that tea
actually taught me
416
00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:27,205
how to improvise.
Not really.
417
00:18:27,207 --> 00:18:29,774
Taught you how to put someone
else's set on a memory stick.
418
00:18:29,776 --> 00:18:32,110
But if it beats Bullock
and keeps you alive,
419
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:33,478
that's all that matters.
420
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:34,912
Listen to you.
421
00:18:34,914 --> 00:18:37,048
Finally coming around
and seeing the value
422
00:18:37,050 --> 00:18:39,083
of a good,
well-thought-out --
423
00:18:39,085 --> 00:18:42,086
(horn blaring)
424
00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:43,321
(steam hissing)
425
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:45,756
-No! Your music!
-Hayley?
426
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:47,725
Smith, you idiot!
427
00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:48,993
I had the red.
428
00:18:48,995 --> 00:18:51,662
(tires squealing)
429
00:18:51,664 --> 00:18:53,564
I can't back up.
I'm stuck.
430
00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:56,234
I -- Euuuugh!
431
00:18:56,236 --> 00:18:59,003
HAYLEY: Go with the flow.
Go with the flow.
432
00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:00,471
Go with the flow.
Go with the flow.
433
00:19:00,473 --> 00:19:02,006
Go with the flow.
434
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:04,175
Go with the flow.
435
00:19:04,177 --> 00:19:05,610
Dad, what the hell?!
436
00:19:05,612 --> 00:19:07,645
(metal screeching)
437
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:10,348
I'm doing it, Hayley!
It feels amazing!
438
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:12,683
What are you doing?!
I'm improvising!
439
00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:14,652
Our plan was to beat Bullock.
440
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:17,421
But if we keep him from
competing, he'll still lose.
441
00:19:17,423 --> 00:19:20,191
Ooooh!
Ahhh!
442
00:19:20,193 --> 00:19:22,326
Oh, my God,
you're right.
443
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:24,462
A-and you just came up
with that?
444
00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:26,531
Yes!
Like improv!
445
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:29,033
Whose line is it, anyway?!
446
00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:31,702
BULLOCK: What a light show!
447
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:33,671
Oh, Stan's
having an accident.
448
00:19:33,673 --> 00:19:35,139
Look at me go!
449
00:19:35,141 --> 00:19:36,607
Look at you go!
450
00:19:36,609 --> 00:19:38,309
That's living without a plan.
451
00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:41,479
It's so freeing -- I can see why
you want to live this way.
452
00:19:41,481 --> 00:19:44,182
I'm sorry I was trying to
change you, baby girl.
453
00:19:44,184 --> 00:19:46,951
(thudding)
454
00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:49,220
(grinding)
455
00:19:49,222 --> 00:19:51,222
You pushed him right to
the club!
456
00:19:51,224 --> 00:19:52,857
(struggles)
It's stuck!
457
00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:55,026
If he deejays,
I'm as good as dead.
458
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:58,896
Thank God my pipe didn't break.
459
00:19:58,898 --> 00:20:02,133
(inhales)
460
00:20:02,135 --> 00:20:04,869
(tires screech)
461
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:07,572
(roars)
462
00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:09,273
(gasps)
The dragon!
463
00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:13,077
Get up, you fool!
464
00:20:13,079 --> 00:20:14,812
But the turin's played
lying down.
465
00:20:14,814 --> 00:20:17,381
Of course it is.
466
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:19,150
(beautiful music plays)
467
00:20:19,152 --> 00:20:20,918
That music.
468
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:24,322
It's so soothing.
469
00:20:24,324 --> 00:20:28,092
(music continues)
470
00:20:31,764 --> 00:20:33,364
Oh, baby.
471
00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:35,099
You are a dragon soother.
472
00:20:35,101 --> 00:20:37,034
I was wrong
about you, Jeff.
473
00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:40,571
You're no bum.
You're a street musician.
474
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:42,607
Entertainer of bums.
475
00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:46,277
(crying)
476
00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:48,079
Dad, go win this thing.
477
00:20:48,081 --> 00:20:50,715
But -- but I don't have to.
478
00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:53,351
And I don't want to.
479
00:20:53,353 --> 00:20:56,120
Well, that just leaves
one loose end.
480
00:20:56,122 --> 00:20:59,724
This is a turin, Wayne.
481
00:20:59,726 --> 00:21:02,193
(cymbals ring)
482
00:21:02,195 --> 00:21:04,795
Bye! Have a great time!