1
00:00:03,204 --> 00:00:05,170
I lost my faith.
2
00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:09,675
Look! It's a gigantic ship
in Korea!
3
00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,477
Like the ark.
4
00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:13,445
We must get to the ark
before the floods begin,
5
00:00:13,447 --> 00:00:15,948
because I am the new Noah.
6
00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:20,019
(chittering)
Okay, here's the animals.
7
00:00:20,021 --> 00:00:21,186
(electricity buzzing,
people screaming)
8
00:00:21,188 --> 00:00:23,489
(explosion, glass shatters)
9
00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:24,757
Start the damn boat!
10
00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:30,229
Thank you, Lord. You saved us!
11
00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:33,332
I'll never question you again!
12
00:00:33,334 --> 00:00:35,234
(thunder crashes)
13
00:00:35,236 --> 00:00:36,835
Why me, Lord?!
14
00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:38,737
Why me?!
15
00:00:38,739 --> 00:00:40,672
(thunder crashes)
What good is faith
16
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,174
when God treats you like this?!
17
00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:44,810
Why me, Lord?!
18
00:00:44,812 --> 00:00:46,979
You speak every language!
19
00:00:46,981 --> 00:00:49,381
Why are you talking to me
in thunder?
20
00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:50,916
(thunder crashes)
21
00:00:50,918 --> 00:00:52,217
Why me?!
22
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:53,752
Stan?
Can't sleep?
23
00:00:53,754 --> 00:00:56,722
Well, you're screaming at God
and kicking me.
24
00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:58,991
Are you starting to worry
that we're floating
25
00:00:58,993 --> 00:01:02,394
on a giant time bomb
filled with natural gas?
26
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,729
Oh, yeah, I'm really scared
27
00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,364
about being on a boat
full of farts.
28
00:01:05,366 --> 00:01:07,699
Well,
since we're both up...
29
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:10,202
(thud)
The flood really happened,
Francine.
30
00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:12,371
We're the only people
left in the world.
31
00:01:12,373 --> 00:01:14,273
Did everyone else
deserve to drown?
32
00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:16,341
Grumpy cat, the Muppets?
33
00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:19,178
You're telling me Daniel Tosh
has to die, but I get to live?!
34
00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:21,413
So, are we doing it?
35
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:24,416
Or did I shave my legs with
a tuna can lid for nothing?
36
00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:25,951
I'm sorry, I...
I can't.
37
00:01:25,953 --> 00:01:27,519
Why not?
38
00:01:27,521 --> 00:01:29,555
You used to complain that
you couldn't get in the mood
39
00:01:29,557 --> 00:01:31,423
because of the hustle and bustle
of the modern world.
40
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:33,192
Now what is it?
41
00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:35,861
Hey, it's not like you've been
popping boners everywhere!
42
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:38,063
How can you even think of sex
at a time like this?
43
00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:40,466
It's easy.
We're having sex right now.
44
00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:42,067
Uh, are we?
45
00:01:42,069 --> 00:01:44,303
Would everybody shut up?!
You guys got it good.
46
00:01:44,305 --> 00:01:46,438
I don't even had someone
to sex it to.
47
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,774
The only women around here
are my mom and sister.
48
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:51,977
The more things change,
the more they stay the same.
49
00:01:51,979 --> 00:01:53,812
(laughter)
50
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:57,382
(laughs)
You said it, Stan.
51
00:01:57,384 --> 00:01:59,885
(patriotic music plays)
52
00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:03,122
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
53
00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:06,492
¶ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ¶
54
00:02:06,494 --> 00:02:09,828
¶ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ¶
55
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:13,866
¶ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ¶
56
00:02:15,736 --> 00:02:19,071
¶ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ¶
57
00:02:19,073 --> 00:02:21,340
¶ Good -- ¶
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
58
00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:22,674
Aah!
59
00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:27,346
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
60
00:02:27,348 --> 00:02:30,015
(thunder crashes)
61
00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:31,483
This boat is hell!
62
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:32,985
I wish I died in the flood!
63
00:02:32,987 --> 00:02:35,621
Steve, obviously,
we all wish we were dead.
64
00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:36,755
What is everyone
complaining about?
65
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,590
This boat is the best!
66
00:02:38,592 --> 00:02:40,826
Don't you think all your friends
would love to be here with you?
67
00:02:40,828 --> 00:02:41,994
(up-tempo music starts)
68
00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:43,829
¶ If they could see you now ¶
69
00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,831
¶ And all this fun
that you've found ¶
70
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,432
¶ But they surely can't ¶
71
00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:49,535
¶ Because they've all drowned ¶
72
00:02:49,537 --> 00:02:52,971
¶ Mostly corpses
on the ocean bed ¶
73
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:54,773
¶ They'd die of jealousy ¶
74
00:02:54,775 --> 00:02:57,109
¶ But they're already dead ¶
75
00:02:57,111 --> 00:03:00,679
¶ But if they could ¶
76
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:04,049
¶ See you now
out on this party boat cruise ¶
77
00:03:04,051 --> 00:03:07,152
¶ Living the life
and huffing diesel fumes ¶
78
00:03:07,154 --> 00:03:09,821
¶ The only thing
that we have to do ¶
79
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:13,458
¶ Is watch the temperature gauge
and make it stay in the blue ¶
80
00:03:13,460 --> 00:03:15,861
(laughing)
81
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,796
¶ Check out this petting zoo.
Wow! ¶
82
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,565
¶ And this one's
all you can eat ¶
83
00:03:19,567 --> 00:03:21,700
¶ Ever had giraffe soup. Pow! ¶
84
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,202
¶ You're in for a treat ¶
85
00:03:23,204 --> 00:03:25,871
¶ What a fun ship, holy cow ¶
86
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:30,609
¶ When you have to poop,
be sure you do it over the bow ¶
87
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:33,645
¶ Climbing walls ¶
88
00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:35,747
¶ There's just so much to do ¶
89
00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:37,149
¶ And free blankets ¶
90
00:03:37,151 --> 00:03:39,318
¶ Wait, that's a dead kangaroo ¶
91
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,854
¶ This boat's the cat's meow.
Meow! ¶
92
00:03:42,856 --> 00:03:49,728
¶ If your friends
could see you now ¶
93
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:51,096
Jeff, what are you doing here?
94
00:03:51,098 --> 00:03:52,564
Who's watching
the temperature gauge?!
95
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,242
(screaming)
(explosion)
96
00:04:03,244 --> 00:04:07,379
Stan, you remembered to tie down
those loose barrels, right?
97
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:10,215
I think we have
bigger things to worry about.
98
00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:11,717
Francine!
99
00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:15,420
I forget to secure
one measly barrel, and my --
100
00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:29,034
Roger, find the others
and get in the life boat!
101
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:32,871
I don't see anyone!
102
00:04:37,144 --> 00:04:39,945
You know, it's too bad the rest
of the family couldn't be saved,
103
00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:42,581
but I am not hating
this leg room right now.
104
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:45,317
Quick, grab any supplies
you can!
105
00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:47,986
I got some water
and a box of canned food.
106
00:04:47,988 --> 00:04:50,455
Check it out!
I got a Keurig...
107
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:51,957
And a wolf!
108
00:04:51,959 --> 00:04:53,125
(snarls)
109
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:57,229
(screaming)
110
00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:02,501
This is my fault!
I'm a screw-up!
111
00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:04,102
Hey, help me up.
112
00:05:04,104 --> 00:05:07,172
Oh, man! Look at this.
I'm screwing up right now.
113
00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:08,740
I'm not helping you
at all!
114
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:10,275
Well,
I need your help now!
115
00:05:10,277 --> 00:05:12,644
Unbelievable,
I'm doing it again!
116
00:05:12,646 --> 00:05:15,847
I'm the worst husband ever.
I don't deserve you.
117
00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:19,251
Just let me go.
You're better off without me.
118
00:05:19,253 --> 00:05:21,820
(grunting)
119
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:29,094
(flute music playing)
120
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:38,704
A woman cast adrift, washes
ashore on an island paradise.
121
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:44,142
Her mind blown clean
by tropical island breezes.
122
00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:47,012
Or maybe it was
her massive concussion.
123
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:49,181
The point is,
her mind has been erased
124
00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:52,984
and now she is as innocent
as a child...
125
00:05:52,986 --> 00:05:55,153
who might have brain damage.
126
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:57,155
But enough doctor talk.
127
00:05:57,157 --> 00:06:00,859
Just listen
to the wonderful flute music.
128
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,562
(flute music continues)
129
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:06,131
But she is not alone.
130
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:09,434
A man...
131
00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:17,909
His mind also dulled
to a childlike state.
132
00:06:17,911 --> 00:06:22,147
Two that used to be so close
now made strangers
133
00:06:22,149 --> 00:06:26,852
by tropical breezes
and/or definitely head wounds.
134
00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:30,722
Will they rediscover
their lost romance?
135
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:33,525
Or will they eat each other?
136
00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:40,132
For those are the two paths
of Flute Island!
137
00:06:43,237 --> 00:06:44,836
(flute music plays)
138
00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:47,706
Before man and woman
can learn to love,
139
00:06:47,708 --> 00:06:51,109
they must learn to survive.
140
00:06:51,111 --> 00:06:55,213
Spear fishing takes patience,
focus, and cunning.
141
00:06:55,215 --> 00:07:00,919
For to draw your food
from the sea is an art that --
142
00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,754
Oh, he's already got one.
143
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:06,758
But his amateur thrashing
has alerted his remaining prey.
144
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,227
There will be no second fish.
145
00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:11,463
Oh, man!
146
00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:14,366
He is gonna get so sick
of fish.
147
00:07:14,368 --> 00:07:17,135
But nature strives for balance.
148
00:07:17,137 --> 00:07:20,605
On one side of the island
is unearned abundance.
149
00:07:20,607 --> 00:07:23,608
On the other, a scarcity.
150
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:25,944
(panting)
151
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:31,416
If she cannot produce fire by
nightfall, she will surely di--
152
00:07:31,418 --> 00:07:33,385
how in the...?
153
00:07:33,387 --> 00:07:36,054
As predicted.
154
00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:39,891
Why the hell
did you bore holes
155
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:41,960
into the crate
we were floating on?!
156
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:44,930
They were speed holes to help us
float to safety faster.
157
00:07:44,932 --> 00:07:47,265
The only thing
we're gonna do faster is die.
158
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:48,733
I know it was a mistake,
159
00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:51,403
and that's why I'm vowing
to make a change, babe.
160
00:07:51,405 --> 00:07:54,139
For the next 30 to 40 minutes
before we drown,
161
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,408
you're gonna see
a brand-new Jeff.
162
00:07:56,410 --> 00:07:58,109
First, no more red meat.
163
00:07:58,111 --> 00:08:00,312
Second,
I'm gonna exercise more.
164
00:08:00,314 --> 00:08:03,815
Third, I'm gonna taper off
smoking weed until it's just
165
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:07,118
a little puff before
a silly movie or something --
166
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:08,954
(louder) unless I have
a friend visiting,
167
00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:10,956
then I can smoke
as much as I want,
168
00:08:10,958 --> 00:08:12,858
'cause that's being
a good host.
169
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:15,494
Jeff, do you know
why you're shouting?
170
00:08:15,496 --> 00:08:18,096
'Cause of
that damn helicopter!
171
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:19,764
(wolf snarling)
172
00:08:19,766 --> 00:08:22,100
I feel like
you're in a bad mood, Steve.
173
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:24,769
Is this still about the wolf
eating all the food rations?
174
00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:26,505
He can't help himself.
He's a wolf.
175
00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:27,839
I know he's a wolf!
176
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,875
Why would you bring him
on to the boat?!
177
00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,343
The wolf is great.
178
00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:33,278
(snarls)
179
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,814
No way we're getting
robbed with this guy aboard.
180
00:08:35,816 --> 00:08:37,148
You're the worst!
181
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:39,217
You're unhelpful,
you're unreliable,
182
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:40,452
and you're the last person
183
00:08:40,454 --> 00:08:42,854
I would want
to share a lifeboat with!
184
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,023
I can't believe
you feel this way.
185
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:48,827
(sighs) Well, then...
186
00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:50,962
Goodbye, Steve.
187
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:56,701
You want someone helpful at sea,
then I'm your man.
188
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:59,237
The name's Buck Wett-Nap,
survivalist.
189
00:08:59,239 --> 00:09:03,074
Okay.
I once survived four days
in a Del Taco parking lot,
190
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:06,511
extracting life-saving nutrients
from puddles and bird shit.
191
00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:10,715
Why didn't you just go into
the Del Taco?
192
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:13,151
I'm a Taco Bell man.
193
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:16,087
As beautiful
as this paradise is,
194
00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:17,889
it is equally treacherous.
195
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,124
Aaah!
196
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,260
(hisses)
197
00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:25,363
Aaah!
198
00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:29,000
She admires his muscles,
his strong features,
199
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:32,671
and the way sweat collects
under this nipples.
200
00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:35,273
Mmm!
That's nice, too.
201
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:41,246
As with Adam and Eve,
202
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:45,250
so the serpent
sparks the sexuality.
203
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:50,322
Well, now there's
barf on the beach.
204
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,132
So, the world didn't end.
205
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:02,634
Well, then I'm gonna
need your help
206
00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:04,235
finding my family
so that I can kill my father.
207
00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:05,737
(chuckles)
208
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:08,306
That's a story I'd like to hear,
but we're very busy.
209
00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,908
This is the U.S. Navy.
210
00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:12,777
Everybody on this ship
has a clear job to do --
211
00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:14,079
and a purpose.
212
00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:15,080
Whoa.
213
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:16,748
Whoa, indeed.
214
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:19,250
Mr. Captain, I'm tired
of being a screw-up.
215
00:10:19,252 --> 00:10:20,585
I'd like to join your Navy.
216
00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:21,419
What?!
217
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:22,954
(chuckles)
218
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,957
The Navy isn't something
you can just ask to join.
219
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:28,326
You also have to
sign this form.
220
00:10:30,764 --> 00:10:32,230
Welcome to the Navy.
221
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:34,933
Our deal is
we're in charge of the ocean.
222
00:10:34,935 --> 00:10:37,669
Oh, and we have our own
special color blue.
223
00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:40,505
It's so dark it's nuts,
you won't believe it --
224
00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:42,140
almost a black.
225
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,842
This concludes
your training.
226
00:10:43,844 --> 00:10:47,545
(ominous music plays)
227
00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:57,689
Check it out, Steve, it's like
peeling an orange in one piece.
228
00:10:57,691 --> 00:11:00,091
(snarls)
(screaming)
229
00:11:03,263 --> 00:11:05,997
I thought you were supposed to
be some sort of survivalist.
230
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:09,267
I am. And not one of those
fake survivalists on TV.
231
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:12,003
I have a web series...
idea.
232
00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:14,706
Why don't I use our supplies
here and catch us some fish.
233
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:18,176
That would be amazing!
234
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:20,145
And now all we have to do
is wait.
235
00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,647
I like to pass the time
in survival situations
236
00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:24,215
by playing Candy Crush.
237
00:11:24,217 --> 00:11:25,517
You have a phone?!
238
00:11:25,519 --> 00:11:26,518
Of course!
239
00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,119
A lot of people don't realize
240
00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,955
that boredom is the greatest
danger when lost at sea.
241
00:11:30,957 --> 00:11:32,457
Have you tried
calling anyone?
242
00:11:32,459 --> 00:11:33,825
I keep it on
airplane mode.
243
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:37,162
That's a survival tip
for your battery.
244
00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:40,031
Hmm. Would you mind if we waited
till the next billing cycle?
245
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,666
I only get
four minutes a month.
246
00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:42,801
It's a plan for seniors.
247
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:43,802
Just call someone!
248
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,170
You're right, you're right.
249
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:46,671
Should I call Klaus
or my friend Tiffany?
250
00:11:46,673 --> 00:11:49,207
Tiffany isn't speaking to me,
might not pick up.
251
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,076
Klaus!
252
00:11:51,078 --> 00:11:53,244
(beep)
253
00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:56,314
Oh, yeah,
I'm alive -- barely, man.
254
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:59,517
My 20-hour flight from Korea
didn't serve a single meal.
255
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:01,820
So, I guess there wasn't
a biblical catastrophe.
256
00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:06,224
Well, not until Delta gets my
harshly worded complaint letter.
257
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:09,060
Heads are gonna roll, bro.
258
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:10,528
Get to the part
where you tell him
259
00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:12,263
we're stranded in the middle
of the ocean.
260
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:13,998
So, Klaus, we're stuck
in the Atlantic --
261
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,033
Pacific!
262
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:16,401
Nerd.
263
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,036
Anyway, we're in
the middle of an ocean.
264
00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:20,538
We are not by the edges, so you
don't have to check there.
265
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:22,073
Just look
in the middle-ish area.
266
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,842
And we've got a wolf,
so no rush.
267
00:12:23,844 --> 00:12:26,177
Oh, battery's dead.
268
00:12:26,179 --> 00:12:29,280
(splash)
I can't believe you wasted
our one chance to get rescued!
269
00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:30,849
Well, don't be angry.
270
00:12:30,851 --> 00:12:34,519
Let's pull up our fishing net
and have some breakfast.
271
00:12:34,521 --> 00:12:38,623
Hmm. I guess I was supposed to
tie one end to the boat.
272
00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:41,426
This is the stuff we would
edit out of the web series.
273
00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:45,930
(flute music plays)
274
00:12:45,932 --> 00:12:47,432
Oon-gak.
275
00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:48,433
Oon-gak?
276
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,702
Oon-gak.
277
00:12:53,039 --> 00:12:54,739
Oon-gak!
278
00:12:54,741 --> 00:12:59,444
I think "oon-gak" is their word
for coconut.
279
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:05,416
Emboldened by primal feelings,
she makes a daring move.
280
00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:09,387
And the man,
feeling nature's throb...
281
00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:10,588
Runs away?
282
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,123
Are -- are you kidding me?
283
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,659
Flute Island?
284
00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:16,261
More like Blue Ball island.
285
00:13:16,263 --> 00:13:20,331
(bells clanging)
286
00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,670
(flute music plays)
287
00:13:25,672 --> 00:13:29,274
The simple wonders of nature
are quite breathtaking.
288
00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:34,078
But I am not the only one
enjoying the view.
289
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,681
Something inside her stirs.
290
00:13:36,683 --> 00:13:38,483
(breathing heavily)
291
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:44,055
She knows that she should
look away, but she cannot.
292
00:13:57,938 --> 00:14:00,939
Oon-gak.
293
00:14:00,941 --> 00:14:04,342
I am rock hard.
294
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,845
(rock music plays)
295
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:19,657
Petty Officer Fischer?
296
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,226
Morning, sir!
How are you feeling?
297
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:22,527
Amazing, sir.
298
00:14:22,529 --> 00:14:23,895
I finally have a purpose.
299
00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:25,897
(chuckles) That's great.
300
00:14:25,899 --> 00:14:29,100
But you should know
you're doing a terrible job.
301
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:36,040
You're just supposed to be
mopping the deck.
302
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:37,909
Why don't you come up
to the bridge?
303
00:14:37,911 --> 00:14:39,477
You can be my spotter.
304
00:14:39,479 --> 00:14:40,478
Thank you, sir!
305
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:41,579
(jet approaches)
306
00:14:41,581 --> 00:14:42,580
(tires screech)
307
00:14:42,582 --> 00:14:43,815
(splash)
308
00:14:43,817 --> 00:14:45,516
Oh, was that my fault?
309
00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:49,287
I don't know. Are you the guy
waving the [bleep] things?!
310
00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:53,258
I spy with my little eye
311
00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:56,995
something that is white
and red and black.
312
00:14:56,997 --> 00:14:58,196
My sun blisters.
313
00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:00,265
Bingo!
You're great at this, Steve.
314
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,033
I'm dying.
You're just thirsty.
315
00:15:02,035 --> 00:15:04,869
The human body can only survive
three days without water.
316
00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:07,105
That's why in a pinch,
just drink salt water.
317
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:08,907
That's the worst thing
you can do!
318
00:15:08,909 --> 00:15:11,075
Salt water just makes you
more dehydrated.
319
00:15:11,077 --> 00:15:12,877
Because people
don't drink enough.
320
00:15:12,879 --> 00:15:15,280
There's a tipping point
when the delicious water
321
00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:16,681
overwhelms the harmful salt.
322
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:17,715
Here, I'll show you.
323
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:19,918
Tipping point, here I come!
324
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,420
(gulping)
325
00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:28,526
(gulps)
I feel incredible!
326
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,094
It burns so good!
327
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:31,262
Catch up, Steve!
328
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,731
Roger, you're scaring me.
329
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,867
(gulping)
330
00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:42,774
I'm so close
to the tipping point.
331
00:15:42,776 --> 00:15:44,242
No one's
ever done it right.
332
00:15:44,244 --> 00:15:46,110
They've always given up
because the sea madness
333
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:48,146
makes them
kill their shipmates.
334
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:49,447
(whimpers)
335
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:52,917
(sighs) Lifeboat's
getting pretty cluttered.
336
00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:55,253
Tomorrow, we're gonna have to
throw some stuff in the sea.
337
00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,922
Lot of things are gonna have to
go into the sea.
338
00:15:57,924 --> 00:16:01,259
Oh, time for bed.
nighty-night.
339
00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:03,261
Um, it -- it -- it --
it's noon.
340
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,163
You're lucky
the moon's blinded me, Steve,
341
00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:07,065
or I'd sock you
right in the nose.
342
00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:08,833
(whimpers)
343
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:12,136
(flute music plays)
Surely, this is the moment
344
00:16:12,138 --> 00:16:15,173
where their love
will finally bloom.
345
00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:23,414
(snoring)
346
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:25,683
Are they serious?
Right to sleep?
347
00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:27,285
I can't take this anymore!
348
00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:28,653
(footsteps approaching)
349
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,288
There we go.
350
00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:31,622
(footsteps receding)
351
00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,091
Ah.
352
00:16:33,093 --> 00:16:34,993
That should
get the ball rolling.
353
00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:39,831
(both moaning)
354
00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:41,432
And as the two lovers
355
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:44,102
remembered what nature
has always known,
356
00:16:44,104 --> 00:16:48,139
the narrator took a break to do
something that is also natural,
357
00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:51,009
something he needed
both hands for.
358
00:16:51,011 --> 00:16:52,443
(horse whinnies)
359
00:16:52,445 --> 00:16:54,879
Ah, the horse gets it.
360
00:16:57,384 --> 00:17:02,020
Okay, I see a bird,
lots of water...
361
00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:03,788
And a wave.
362
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,990
Ooh, I see a cool cloud.
363
00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:07,692
Great work, Fischer.
364
00:17:07,694 --> 00:17:10,061
Captain, what is it
with you and this man?
365
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:12,563
I have to ask,
is he your illegitimate child?
366
00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:14,565
(chuckles)
I fear he is.
367
00:17:14,567 --> 00:17:16,501
You know
how hard I go in port,
368
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:18,836
and he looks a lot
like a woman that...
369
00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:20,338
(shudders)
370
00:17:20,340 --> 00:17:23,307
I used to pay
to step on my balls.
371
00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:28,913
The wolf and I
have been talking.
372
00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:30,815
Well, he's been talking,
I've been listening.
373
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:34,152
We think you're
plotting against us.
374
00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:35,720
w-what happened to the wolf?
375
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,388
He found out my secret!
376
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:38,856
Do you want to hear
my secret?
377
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:39,857
No.
378
00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:41,826
Okay.
379
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:43,394
(growling)
380
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,163
(both screaming)
381
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,599
Stop, Roger! Just stop!
382
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,568
Aaaaah!
383
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:58,276
Steve, something happened.
384
00:18:00,447 --> 00:18:02,180
I think
I have something, sir!
385
00:18:04,551 --> 00:18:05,616
Hayley: Steve!
386
00:18:05,618 --> 00:18:08,453
Hayley!
387
00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:11,689
Well, we came together
and made it as a team, Steve.
388
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:13,558
Looks like the person
you'd least like
389
00:18:13,560 --> 00:18:15,960
to be stuck on a lifeboat with
just saved your life.
390
00:18:15,962 --> 00:18:17,361
Listen to me jabbering on.
391
00:18:17,363 --> 00:18:19,030
I'm in the middle
of a big bike race.
392
00:18:19,032 --> 00:18:21,299
On your left!
393
00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:23,534
All right,
back to our mission.
394
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,937
Operation destroy
all the islands.
395
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:27,705
(chuckles)
Too many islands.
396
00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,107
Prepare to fire!
397
00:18:30,910 --> 00:18:32,477
Sir, wait!
398
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,412
I believe there are some
young lovers on the island.
399
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:35,613
-Really?
-I want to see!
400
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,381
Me first!
Men, have you forgotten
401
00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:39,650
you are officers
in the United States Navy?
402
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:41,152
Act like it!
403
00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:44,655
It's ladies first
to watch the dirty beach sex.
404
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:47,325
Oh, my God!
405
00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:49,560
They are really going at it.
406
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:53,097
Oh, my God!
My parents are alive!
407
00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:55,466
Let's just confirm...
408
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:58,669
That it's really them.
409
00:18:58,671 --> 00:18:59,804
Babe?
410
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,172
What?
411
00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:04,942
(flute music plays)
412
00:19:04,944 --> 00:19:07,945
They were cut off from
everything in the world,
413
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:11,849
but they fell in love
with the world they had.
414
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,184
(gasps)
415
00:19:13,186 --> 00:19:14,986
Oon-gak.
416
00:19:14,988 --> 00:19:17,021
Oon-gak.
417
00:19:17,023 --> 00:19:18,456
(moaning)
418
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,424
Oh, they're
ready to go again.
419
00:19:20,426 --> 00:19:27,098
And we wait on tenterhooks to
see if he does it in the brown.
420
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:29,000
(rumbling)
421
00:19:30,637 --> 00:19:32,036
Ooh...
422
00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:33,604
You have kids.
423
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:34,972
-Mom, Dad!
-Mom, Dad!
424
00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:36,140
Oh, yeah.
425
00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:38,376
We have kids.
426
00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:40,278
Your boobs are out.
427
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:44,215
So, the world didn't end,
and I'm not Noah.
428
00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:45,383
Sorry, guys.
429
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:46,851
It's okay, dad.
430
00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:49,887
We're all together again,
and that's what matters.
431
00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:53,024
We're off the island.
Fire away, sir.
432
00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:55,660
(rocket launches)
433
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:57,228
Oh, no! Don't they know
434
00:19:57,230 --> 00:19:59,664
our dear narrator
is still on Fl--
435
00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:02,233
(flutes play, stop)
436
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:06,404
I think we both know
437
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:10,074
there's always been
something there between us.
438
00:20:10,076 --> 00:20:14,245
Well, now we have the whole
house all to ourselves.
439
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:17,381
(door opens)
She told me she was 18!
440
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:19,750
Hmm.
Oh, gross -- Riesling.
441
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:21,352
(gulping)
442
00:20:21,354 --> 00:20:25,323
So, we're supposed to go back
to our normal life and...
443
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:27,258
And everything's just
how it was before?
444
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:29,260
Yeah, honey.
What's wrong with that?
445
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:30,995
Well, what was
all this for?
446
00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:32,363
All this stuff happened,
447
00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:34,332
and I don't even know
what it means!
448
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:36,267
It means...
449
00:20:36,269 --> 00:20:38,336
Oon-gak.
450
00:20:38,338 --> 00:20:39,837
Oon-gak.
451
00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:41,539
Uh, what does
"oon-gak" mean?
452
00:20:41,541 --> 00:20:43,107
It kind of means...
453
00:20:43,109 --> 00:20:44,342
Coconut.
454
00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:45,743
(both moaning)
455
00:20:45,745 --> 00:20:48,279
Ugh, there was barely
any salt in that Riesling.
456
00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:50,248
I was dangerously hydrated.
457
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:52,283
(gulping)
458
00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:56,787
Aaaah!
459
00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:58,289
Stop, Roger, just stop!
460
00:20:58,291 --> 00:20:58,723
Aaaaah!
461
00:21:02,195 --> 00:21:04,195
Bye-bye, see you soon!
462
00:21:04,197 --> 00:21:07,365
-- Captions by VITAC --