1
00:00:01,635 --> 00:00:03,335
(bell rings)
2
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:06,872
Ha ha ha ha ha!
3
00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:08,607
What's the hurry, nerd?
4
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:10,442
This year's moisture crop
is in!
5
00:00:10,444 --> 00:00:12,711
I'd kick your ass
if I wasn't so confused!
6
00:00:12,713 --> 00:00:14,446
Damn it.
7
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:16,682
I should have said, "Your mom's
moisture crop is in."
8
00:00:16,684 --> 00:00:18,517
Next time.
9
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:22,654
(propulsion engine whines)
10
00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:25,324
¶¶
11
00:00:25,326 --> 00:00:29,128
(speaking Japanese)
12
00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:30,896
Toshi, before we get
into any of that,
13
00:00:30,898 --> 00:00:33,165
I'm gonna need to sample
this year's moisture crop.
14
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:34,833
(slurps) Mmm!
15
00:00:34,835 --> 00:00:36,201
Like mother's milk.
16
00:00:43,511 --> 00:00:46,578
My space blazer --
you got the stain out!
17
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:48,147
Yes, sir.
18
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:50,482
And this little guy
spit up on it.
19
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:51,884
Sometimes I just want to...
20
00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:53,318
(imitates bone cracking)
21
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:57,056
Kidding! You're papa's
little everythings.
22
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,661
Snotron, buddy, I'd love
to see that health grade
23
00:01:02,663 --> 00:01:04,730
go up from a "C" minus
to an "A."
24
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:05,998
Or...
25
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,234
How about a free drink
for the mayor?
26
00:01:09,236 --> 00:01:11,770
A Capri two suns?
27
00:01:11,772 --> 00:01:14,540
Mr. Mayor, we're back from
the dilithium crystal mine.
28
00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:16,275
What a haul!
29
00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:18,343
This will power
the colony for months!
30
00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:20,679
MAN: God, what are you
children doing?
31
00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:23,882
And why do you have
that wheelbarrow
32
00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:25,884
full of dog turds?
33
00:01:25,886 --> 00:01:28,987
Dilithium straight
from the source!
34
00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:32,758
I forgot bags,
so I'm gonna let this go,
35
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:35,894
but do not touch
my dog's asshole.
36
00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:39,264
(imitating jet engine)
37
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,767
(patriotic music plays)
38
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:45,037
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
39
00:01:45,039 --> 00:01:48,407
¶ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ¶
40
00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:51,777
¶ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ¶
41
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:55,848
¶ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ¶
42
00:01:57,718 --> 00:02:01,053
¶ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ¶
43
00:02:01,055 --> 00:02:03,322
¶ Good -- ¶
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
44
00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:04,656
Aah!
45
00:02:05,893 --> 00:02:09,328
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
46
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:11,797
(birds chirping)
47
00:02:11,799 --> 00:02:15,667
Stan, come see the new curtains
for over the kitchen sink!
48
00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:17,169
They're gorgeous!
49
00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:20,405
Great news!
50
00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:22,841
I found the perfect place
to put my new shark tank.
51
00:02:22,843 --> 00:02:24,676
I got it from
a drug lord we busted.
52
00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:26,311
But that's where
I want to hang these.
53
00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,613
Well, you can't.
54
00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:29,181
You don't put curtains
on a shark tank,
55
00:02:29,183 --> 00:02:31,183
because there's never a time
you don't want to see them.
56
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:33,152
But where am I gonna
do the dishes?
57
00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:34,653
Use our new lawn sink.
58
00:02:37,158 --> 00:02:38,824
Ugh.
59
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:42,361
Mom, Jeff and I are headed out
to pick up some cho-nuts.
60
00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:43,962
They're the hot new dessert.
61
00:02:43,964 --> 00:02:46,465
Solid chocolate in
the shape of a doughnut.
62
00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:48,867
Oh! I've actually been dying
to try those.
63
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,669
Oh, well --
I'm not inviting you.
64
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:53,605
It's just I was supposed to pick
up Steve at the park at 4:00.
65
00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:55,340
But now you have to...
66
00:02:55,342 --> 00:02:57,476
Because I'm doing
chocolate stuff.
67
00:02:57,478 --> 00:02:58,944
(sighs)
68
00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:01,380
I never get to do anything
I want around here.
69
00:03:01,382 --> 00:03:02,714
I know.
70
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,716
And I'd love for you
to tell me all about it.
71
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:06,818
But you can't.
What? Why not?
72
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:09,388
Floor spaghetti.
Floor spaghetti?
73
00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:17,763
Floor spaghetti.
74
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:22,968
¶¶
75
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:25,537
Why don't you put something
on the jukebox?
76
00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:28,840
(beeping)
77
00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:31,677
¶ Doo doo doo,
doo doo doo ¶
78
00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:33,912
¶ Feel like makin' love ¶
79
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,214
Steve, we've got to go.
80
00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:37,349
Dad needs me to pick up
aquarium rocks
81
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:39,017
that match
his shark's eyes.
82
00:03:39,019 --> 00:03:41,420
But I'm LARPing.
What's LARPing?
83
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:44,056
What's a LARP?
She doesn't -- I can't even...
84
00:03:44,058 --> 00:03:46,024
What did you do
in high school?
85
00:03:46,026 --> 00:03:48,727
Sorry, Steve,
I guess I was too busy
86
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:51,263
scoring mad pole.
87
00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:52,598
Ugh.
88
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,700
LARPing is
live action role-playing.
89
00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:56,835
We create characters
and then act out
90
00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:58,937
their actions in
a fictional setting.
91
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:01,106
In our case,
we're space colonists.
92
00:04:01,108 --> 00:04:04,443
So you pretend to have
space battles?
93
00:04:04,445 --> 00:04:06,111
(scoffs) Battles?
94
00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:08,747
W-we don't have the stomach
for the horrors of war.
95
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,682
You see, we're all fans
of "Star Wars,"
96
00:04:10,684 --> 00:04:13,352
specifically the first act
where Luke was a space farmer.
97
00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:17,055
The minute he left his home
world to explore his destiny,
98
00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:18,757
I completely checked out.
99
00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:21,360
Um, hello!
Know your audience!
100
00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:23,061
More farming, please.
101
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:24,429
I don't get it.
102
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:26,265
I just see a bunch of boxes
in a dog park.
103
00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:27,799
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
104
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,301
You're breaking the number one
rule of LARPing.
105
00:04:29,303 --> 00:04:31,637
Never break the reality
by questioning the LARP.
106
00:04:31,639 --> 00:04:33,905
Oh, I get it!
107
00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:37,209
"LARP" stands
for something.
108
00:04:37,211 --> 00:04:39,711
(birds chirping)
109
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:42,447
¶¶
110
00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:46,218
Oh-ho-ho-ho!
This dude is awesome!
111
00:04:46,220 --> 00:04:49,388
I'm surprised you're so cool
with all this fish death.
112
00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:50,822
Oh, yeah.
113
00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:52,958
Finally someone I can
relate to around here --
114
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,227
another true alpha.
115
00:04:55,229 --> 00:04:57,629
Why are you always
handing me this?
116
00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,064
I don't want this.
117
00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:00,899
What's the shark up to?
Eating money.
118
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,768
Between feeding him
and other expenses,
119
00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:04,803
he costs more per week
than I make,
120
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,639
and I don't like to brag,
but I'm doing...medium.
121
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,574
Stan, you shouldn't pay
for this yourself.
122
00:05:09,576 --> 00:05:11,143
Yeah, well,
who else would?
123
00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:13,278
All the people
who come to visit
124
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,247
our new SeaWorld!
125
00:05:15,249 --> 00:05:18,517
Are you suggesting we franchise
a SeaWorld out of our home?
126
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,952
Well, we'll obviously need
to change the name
127
00:05:20,954 --> 00:05:23,188
so we don't have to pay
SeaWorld, but, yes.
128
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:25,324
You already have
the main attraction.
129
00:05:25,326 --> 00:05:26,958
Plus, you have
a talking fish!
130
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,027
I've been working on
my stand-up routine.
131
00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:30,762
And I could be the trainer.
132
00:05:30,764 --> 00:05:33,365
I have a good rapport with
animals, especially marine life.
133
00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:36,034
It's true! She taught me
how to use TurboTax.
134
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:38,270
We're basically there, Stan.
135
00:05:38,272 --> 00:05:39,538
Let's do it.
136
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,106
It's the only way
to save my shark.
137
00:05:41,108 --> 00:05:42,808
(all cheering)
138
00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,643
Yay!
Okay, first things first.
139
00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:46,044
We're not a real business
140
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:48,313
until we have
a 3-D printer, obviously.
141
00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:51,983
(gasps) We should advertise over
urinals in bars.
142
00:05:51,985 --> 00:05:55,120
According to all the empty
ad space over urinals,
143
00:05:55,122 --> 00:05:57,789
that's the number one place
to advertise.
144
00:05:57,791 --> 00:06:00,225
¶¶
145
00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:02,227
Now, I know a lot
of you are worried
146
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:04,796
about the rising threat
of a mutant versus cyborg
147
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:07,632
galactic holy war, but for now,
148
00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:10,535
let's enjoy our new shake shack!
149
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:11,803
(all gasp)
150
00:06:11,805 --> 00:06:13,538
(speaking Japanese)
151
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:16,575
Everyone calm down.
We have to keep the peace.
152
00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:18,076
I'll return this to...
153
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:21,179
the others.
154
00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:23,181
Snot, where's Steve?
155
00:06:23,183 --> 00:06:25,817
He's off on
diplomatic business.
156
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,686
If you're looking
to kill time,
157
00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:29,855
you could have a drink
at my cantina.
158
00:06:29,857 --> 00:06:31,890
Guy Fieri came in once.
159
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:34,526
He emptied all our
salt shakers into his mouth
160
00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:36,528
and called us
a "local hot spot."
161
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,230
(whistle blows)
162
00:06:38,232 --> 00:06:40,766
This field is for
J.V. football only, geek!
163
00:06:40,768 --> 00:06:43,769
Oh, I-I would never dream of
intruding on your territory.
164
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,871
I-I've simply come
to return
165
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:48,840
your spherical projectile.
166
00:06:48,842 --> 00:06:51,743
(laughing) Oh, my --
Who -- who am I kidding?
167
00:06:55,616 --> 00:06:57,382
You serve real booze?
168
00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:59,251
Yep.
It's everything left over
169
00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:01,887
from my dad's wake that
my uncle didn't steal.
170
00:07:01,889 --> 00:07:03,955
Dark.
Can I have a drink?
171
00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:06,391
You can have
anything you want.
172
00:07:06,393 --> 00:07:08,293
Anything I want.
173
00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:10,962
It's been a long time
since I've heard that.
174
00:07:10,964 --> 00:07:13,398
That's the beauty
of LARPing.
175
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:14,800
Take Barry.
176
00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:17,235
At home, his mom won't let him
use the iron.
177
00:07:17,237 --> 00:07:21,606
Yet here, he runs a successful
imaginary dry cleaners.
178
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:24,443
This is a place of dreams,
179
00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:28,113
where no one tells you how
to live your life but you.
180
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:30,949
Wow!
That sounds really nice.
181
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,952
At home, I'm such
a second-class citizen.
182
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:36,121
I mean,
it's not like I'm asking
183
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:38,824
to be treated like
a princess or anything.
184
00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:41,126
GIRL: I present
our new princess --
185
00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:43,428
Fran-cinatra!
186
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:45,464
(all cheering)
187
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:50,469
Thank you!
You're too kind.
188
00:07:50,471 --> 00:07:53,472
I don't want that thing.
Thank you.
189
00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:55,774
Mom?
SNOT: Hey, Stever-O!
190
00:07:55,776 --> 00:07:57,242
Can you believe it?
191
00:07:57,244 --> 00:08:00,278
The princess bumped me up
to a "B" minus!
192
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,447
Now I can cater cyber-mitzvahs.
193
00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:04,583
But the city bylaws
say nothing
194
00:08:04,585 --> 00:08:07,352
about a princess having
jurisdictional authority
195
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:08,653
over the health board.
196
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:13,024
A princess has authority
over everything!
197
00:08:13,026 --> 00:08:14,993
(whooshing noise)
198
00:08:21,201 --> 00:08:24,603
It just seems like we
don't really need a princess
199
00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:27,439
since the mayor was going
such a good job.
200
00:08:27,441 --> 00:08:31,309
Remember, everybody, how happy
we were with just the mayor?
201
00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:34,346
You know what the princess
has been dying to try?
202
00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:36,781
That new cho-nut place.
203
00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:39,150
Who wants to accompany
their princess
204
00:08:39,152 --> 00:08:40,986
to the planet Choculus?!
205
00:08:40,988 --> 00:08:44,289
Yeah, we never go off-world,
right, guys?
206
00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:48,059
Now I'm LARPing as
IKEA furniture!
207
00:08:51,565 --> 00:08:54,132
Our first stop is
the international tank.
208
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:55,534
These are Swedish fish.
209
00:08:55,536 --> 00:08:58,003
Their usual habitat
is a bag at 7-Eleven.
210
00:08:58,005 --> 00:09:01,006
Next, we have the rarest
fish known to man --
211
00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:02,240
the talking fish.
212
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:04,409
So what's with kids
these days?
213
00:09:04,411 --> 00:09:06,244
Such little bitches.
214
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,146
Playing games on their phone
215
00:09:08,148 --> 00:09:10,549
where the goal
is crushing candy?
216
00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:12,884
You know what I played
when I was a kid?
217
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,352
Steal Grandpa's Playboys.
218
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:17,689
And the goal
was to jerk off!
219
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:21,026
Ha ha. Uh...
220
00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:24,229
Uh, hey, kids, how would you
like to swim with the dolphins?
221
00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:27,899
Real members of
the 1984 Miami Dolphins.
222
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:29,768
Kowalski, go!
223
00:09:38,278 --> 00:09:40,412
Amazing creatures.
224
00:09:40,414 --> 00:09:42,547
They're actually
the second-smartest mammals
225
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:44,716
on the planet --
due to their head injuries.
226
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:46,284
Now, for the big finale...
227
00:09:46,286 --> 00:09:50,088
(singing "Jaws" theme)
228
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,623
Shark!
229
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:53,291
That's it?!
230
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:57,295
My uncle's a drug dealer.
He has two just like this.
231
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:58,630
This is bad.
232
00:09:58,632 --> 00:10:00,298
Don't worry, Stan,
I know his uncle.
233
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:02,300
Small-time shit, no threat
to my crew at all.
234
00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:04,603
What?
No, we're hemorrhaging money.
235
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:07,472
Maybe I should just
get rid of the shark.
236
00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:09,207
Or -- or you double down.
237
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:11,876
Do I have your permission
to buy a whale?
238
00:10:11,878 --> 00:10:13,612
Always.
239
00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:14,946
(humming)
240
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,915
I hope the laundry
monster's hungry.
241
00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:18,316
Wait, to do now?
242
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,652
Yep, morale's been really
low around OceanLand,
243
00:10:20,654 --> 00:10:23,088
so we had ourselves
an old-fashioned chum fight.
244
00:10:23,090 --> 00:10:24,789
It did the trick.
245
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,891
But I've been looking forward
to LARPing at the park.
246
00:10:26,893 --> 00:10:28,259
Not happening, Francine.
247
00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:30,228
See, you live in
a fantasy world,
248
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:33,264
while I live in the real world
where I run a marine park
249
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:36,001
out of my home to raise money
to save my shark.
250
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,806
Steve!
Can you give me a hand
251
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:44,275
so I won't have to miss
LARPing today?
252
00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:46,845
Ooh. I was gonna get there
a little early.
253
00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:48,013
Come on, Steve.
254
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,948
Your princess
needs you here.
255
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:52,450
Yeah, the thing is,
here you're not the princess.
256
00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:54,185
You're just a...
257
00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:56,621
bloody...
underwear cleaner.
258
00:10:56,623 --> 00:10:57,789
I don't know.
259
00:10:57,791 --> 00:11:00,992
¶¶
260
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,560
(whistles)
261
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:06,765
I need you to stop
whatever you're doing
262
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:08,333
and have
these done by 5:00.
263
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,768
Uh...
264
00:11:09,770 --> 00:11:12,170
This is real laundry.
265
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:13,705
Take my spaceship.
266
00:11:15,876 --> 00:11:19,377
Princess, wasn't expecting
you to grace us so soon.
267
00:11:19,379 --> 00:11:21,780
May I query as to what
those boxes are for?
268
00:11:21,782 --> 00:11:23,348
Queer away, Steve.
269
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:26,217
They're for expanding
the colony to other fields
270
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:28,887
not covered in steaming
piles of crystals.
271
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,123
Ooh!
Space mansions!
272
00:11:32,125 --> 00:11:33,825
Are you crazy?!
273
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:36,795
If we expand, we'll intrude on
the J.V. football field.
274
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:38,229
You're asking for war.
275
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:41,666
Stop questioning your princess
and step aside.
276
00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:43,568
No! I've stood silent
too long!
277
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:45,637
I should have spoken up
last week
278
00:11:45,639 --> 00:11:48,073
when you called
the sand worm worshippers,
279
00:11:48,075 --> 00:11:50,208
of which I am one,
a "fringe cult."
280
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,544
But this endangers
everything we've built.
281
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:53,878
You can't to this!
282
00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:56,548
No one says "can't"
to the princess.
283
00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:59,484
For your insolence,
I hereby banish you
284
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,419
to the jungles of Gymnasia.
285
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,755
Not the prison planet!
286
00:12:03,757 --> 00:12:07,225
No!
287
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,094
Ducks are Green!
288
00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:12,330
Ty-Ty, go long!
289
00:12:12,332 --> 00:12:13,765
Oof!
290
00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,266
What the hell is this?!
291
00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:17,202
It's bad enough no one
comes to our games,
292
00:12:17,204 --> 00:12:19,337
and we don't get to practice
on the varsity field.
293
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,573
We don't need your nerd crap
in our way!
294
00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:23,908
Our colony is under
new management,
295
00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:26,244
and like Charlotte,
North Carolina,
296
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,779
we are both fast-growing
297
00:12:27,781 --> 00:12:29,781
and completely devoid
of culture.
298
00:12:29,783 --> 00:12:32,550
Did Charlotte, North Carolina,
just get dadded?
299
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:36,387
No, Barry, "American Dad"
loves everyone now.
300
00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:38,223
That's right, America.
301
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:41,126
We want you to know
you are loved!
302
00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:44,162
Except for you, Bend, Oregon --
filthy gutter trash.
303
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:48,032
I know money's a concern,
304
00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:50,401
but I discovered that
when you open your search
305
00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:53,204
to whales with checkered pasts,
the price goes way down.
306
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:56,641
So, is he dangerous?
307
00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:58,710
No, just a few
misunderstandings.
308
00:12:58,712 --> 00:13:01,112
But if it's against the rules
to kill a few people
309
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,480
at a Canadian marine park,
310
00:13:02,482 --> 00:13:04,315
then you're gonna have
to fire me, too.
311
00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:08,787
No, you can't take them!
This is their home!
312
00:13:08,789 --> 00:13:11,055
(sobbing)
313
00:13:11,057 --> 00:13:12,957
They're gonna be so happy.
314
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,793
You did such
a great job with them.
315
00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:16,828
We're gonna let you
train the new orca.
316
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:18,596
(growling)
(chuckles)
317
00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:21,232
I-I mean, I didn't do
that great of a job.
318
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:24,769
You're gonna love Killatun.
He's a sweetheart.
319
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:27,305
Stan, he came with a Rolex!
320
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:30,008
We're already making money
off this baby!
321
00:13:30,010 --> 00:13:32,143
I was thinking,
when we get back,
322
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:35,680
I'd like to execute one citizen,
you know, as a show of power.
323
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:38,183
Smart. I'll make a list
of potential candidates
324
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:40,418
just after the colony
finishes burning.
325
00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:41,820
The colony!
326
00:13:41,822 --> 00:13:44,322
¶¶
327
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:48,893
(tires squeal)
328
00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:56,668
No!
329
00:13:56,670 --> 00:14:00,171
Is there anything crueler
than when a father
330
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:03,508
must rebuild his
dry cleaning business?!
331
00:14:04,778 --> 00:14:08,613
People of the outlands,
we demand space justice.
332
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,815
Whoa! We're in
the middle of practice.
333
00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:12,650
Maybe you should practice
334
00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:15,353
rebuilding the colony
you destroyed.
335
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:18,790
Look, lady, you can't put
your garbage on our field.
336
00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:21,159
And you can't order me around.
337
00:14:21,161 --> 00:14:22,727
I'm royalty.
338
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:25,396
No, you're a sad housewife
who spends her days
339
00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:28,299
playing dress-up,
bossing around a bunch of geeks.
340
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,535
You're...
341
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,604
You're right.
342
00:14:34,741 --> 00:14:37,008
Now we have
nowhere to LARP!
343
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,244
Well, at least we got
to LARP long enough
344
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:41,880
for Cat Girl and Glove Nose
to permanently confuse
345
00:14:41,882 --> 00:14:44,415
what I consider sexual.
346
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,523
I know I messed up.
347
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:54,158
A cake gets messed up.
348
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:56,060
A Quiznos bathroom
gets messed up.
349
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,929
You destroyed
a galaxy, mother!
350
00:14:57,931 --> 00:15:00,531
I know you don't care,
but I needed that place.
351
00:15:00,533 --> 00:15:02,400
Steve, stop lecturing
your mother.
352
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:04,002
It's Daddy's turn!
353
00:15:04,004 --> 00:15:06,070
Francine, how committed
are you to OceanLand?
354
00:15:06,072 --> 00:15:07,672
Well...
Because it seems
355
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:10,541
you're two laundry loads
short of full commitment.
356
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:13,344
You put your clothes in
the chum buckets...
357
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:14,612
With the chum?
358
00:15:14,614 --> 00:15:16,848
Yeah, but you don't have
to wash the chum.
359
00:15:16,850 --> 00:15:20,852
I mean, unless...
360
00:15:20,854 --> 00:15:23,588
We'll get back to you
on the chum.
361
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:26,925
I used to be a princess.
362
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:28,593
Jeez.
363
00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:31,963
Hey, after a quick pow-wow,
we realized
364
00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:34,232
how ridiculous we were being
about the chum.
365
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,768
Of course
we want it cleaned.
366
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,272
Hey, Mom, I'm sorry.
367
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:42,540
For what?
368
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:44,542
I'm the one who messed up
your game.
369
00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:45,810
Destroyed our galaxy.
370
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:48,146
But it only happened
because you found
371
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:51,215
the true meaning of LARPing,
escaping from your life.
372
00:15:51,217 --> 00:15:54,452
Well, I guess there's
no escape for me anymore.
373
00:15:54,454 --> 00:15:56,154
You're right.
374
00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:59,824
It would be hard to escape
from this dungeon we're in.
375
00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:02,627
Because an ogre
locked us down here
376
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,595
to wash his clothes
day and night!
377
00:16:04,597 --> 00:16:05,830
Yes!
378
00:16:05,832 --> 00:16:08,099
And when the work is done,
379
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:10,902
that vile ogre
drags me to his bed
380
00:16:10,904 --> 00:16:13,404
and fumbles
with my bra strap
381
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:16,975
until he gets frustrated
and asks me to do it.
382
00:16:16,977 --> 00:16:18,977
And then
the real work starts.
383
00:16:18,979 --> 00:16:21,079
And now my character
is totally deaf.
384
00:16:21,081 --> 00:16:23,915
A deaf slave, whistling his
tuneless laundry song.
385
00:16:23,917 --> 00:16:25,817
(whistling tunelessly)
386
00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:27,952
No, Steve,
you're not a slave.
387
00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:32,323
You're a twice-elected
moisture farm colony mayor,
388
00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:35,093
and you know what
a colony mayor needs?
389
00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,761
His colony.
390
00:16:36,763 --> 00:16:38,096
You're right!
391
00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:40,365
It's time for me to be a man
and reclaim
392
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:43,167
my make-believe village
with the help of my mother.
393
00:16:43,169 --> 00:16:45,803
Okay, Killatun, let's...
394
00:16:45,805 --> 00:16:47,672
let's roll over.
395
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:50,341
(applause)
396
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:57,882
(snarls)
397
00:16:57,884 --> 00:17:00,485
Oh, my God, Stan,
we have to act fast!
398
00:17:00,487 --> 00:17:02,053
No!
399
00:17:04,224 --> 00:17:07,525
(crowd screaming)
400
00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:08,826
(smooches)
401
00:17:08,828 --> 00:17:10,661
(applause)
Wow.
402
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:13,331
He's a sweetheart, folks.
403
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,299
Wave to the crowd,
Killatun.
404
00:17:18,138 --> 00:17:20,405
(cheering)
405
00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:24,475
(screaming)
406
00:17:28,081 --> 00:17:30,048
(siren wails)
407
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,549
I don't get it!
What happened?
408
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,251
I may have an idea.
409
00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:36,020
In order to afford the whale --
who was great, right?
410
00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:38,489
Total pro, good value,
nice find, Roger, yay --
411
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:40,091
We had to cut
a few corners.
412
00:17:40,093 --> 00:17:42,894
One of those corners
was real bleachers,
413
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:45,363
so I just made bleachers
with the 3-D printer.
414
00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:46,998
I guess they just
can't get wet.
415
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,599
Roger, I'm ruined!
416
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:51,502
Stan, baby, you're not looking
at the big picture.
417
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:53,204
I came into this
with nothing,
418
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:56,240
and now I'm leaving with
a 3-D printer and a Rolex.
419
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,409
A Rolex, Stan.
420
00:17:58,411 --> 00:17:59,844
A "Rodex"?
421
00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:02,547
This has been a disaster!
422
00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:04,415
Hut, hut!
Wait!
423
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,350
Well, well, well.
424
00:18:06,352 --> 00:18:08,719
Someone wants to get
Korean barbecue
425
00:18:08,721 --> 00:18:10,221
with old Coach Milonis.
426
00:18:10,223 --> 00:18:13,724
I'm here to ask you to give
these kids the field back.
427
00:18:13,726 --> 00:18:16,627
What, so they can run around
in weird outfits
428
00:18:16,629 --> 00:18:18,062
playing make-believe?
429
00:18:18,064 --> 00:18:20,064
Yeah. Look,
430
00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:23,034
some kids dream
they're space colonists,
431
00:18:23,036 --> 00:18:24,368
and others, well,
432
00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:27,538
they dream about being
on varsity football.
433
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:30,274
We all want to be
something we're not.
434
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:33,478
So a housewife
gets to be a princess
435
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:37,081
and a J.V. coach gets
to pretend anybody cares.
436
00:18:37,083 --> 00:18:39,717
(sighs) It's true.
437
00:18:39,719 --> 00:18:42,787
During games, I wear a big
headset like in the pros,
438
00:18:42,789 --> 00:18:44,822
but I'm just listening
to Phil Collins.
439
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:46,390
That's okay!
440
00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:49,727
We just need to realize
we're in this together.
441
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,429
And maybe...
442
00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:53,731
We can even help each other.
443
00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:56,467
Okay, guys, I know it's our
first time playing
444
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:59,003
in front of a crowd,
but don't be nervous.
445
00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:00,905
It's just like any other game --
446
00:19:00,907 --> 00:19:03,107
except the entire galaxy
is watching.
447
00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:04,642
Break.
448
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:07,345
Hut, hut, hike!
449
00:19:12,485 --> 00:19:14,318
(horn blares)
450
00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:15,987
(cheering)
451
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:18,990
¶¶
452
00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:22,627
Princess, you've shown
the wisdom of a logic droid
453
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:25,196
and the bravery
of a -- a...
454
00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:28,099
Oh, I don't know, let's say --
let's say moon lion.
455
00:19:28,101 --> 00:19:30,468
And for that,
we make you queen.
456
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:33,137
With this crown,
I pronounce you --
457
00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:35,973
Wait!
Are those dilithium crystals?
458
00:19:35,975 --> 00:19:39,310
Nothing but the finest
for our queen.
459
00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:41,779
I just --
I just don't get it.
460
00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:43,981
There are
pine cones everywhere.
461
00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:45,983
You mean
barnathium crystals?
462
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:47,318
Those are worthless.
463
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:50,621
Well, now I must return
to my home world
464
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:53,457
to restore order.
465
00:19:53,459 --> 00:19:56,561
I'll pick you up at 4:30,
Mr. Mayor.
466
00:20:02,468 --> 00:20:04,735
My shark just swam out
the front door.
467
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:06,003
Did you set it free?
468
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:07,572
Shut up and hang
these curtains.
469
00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:09,507
Whoa!
What's got into you?
470
00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:11,475
I'm queen of this castle.
471
00:20:11,477 --> 00:20:13,978
Now get to hanging.
472
00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:21,152
(sighs)
473
00:20:21,154 --> 00:20:23,087
I guess none of the husbands
in this neighborhood
474
00:20:23,089 --> 00:20:24,889
are getting a break today.
475
00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:34,565
You're free now!
Go!
476
00:20:38,204 --> 00:20:42,139
No, Kowalski,
y-you have to go.
477
00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:47,345
Get on!
Just -- just leave me alone!
478
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:54,051
Get out of here,
you stupid fish!
479
00:20:54,053 --> 00:20:56,654
¶¶
480
00:21:02,195 --> 00:21:04,161
Bye, have a great time.