1
00:00:03,037 --> 00:00:04,370
(bluesy music plays)
2
00:00:04,372 --> 00:00:05,504
What is your name?
3
00:00:05,506 --> 00:00:06,939
(normal voice) Stan.
4
00:00:06,941 --> 00:00:08,941
What did you say?
Uh...
5
00:00:08,943 --> 00:00:11,944
FRANCINE (seductive voice):
My name is Staniella.
6
00:00:11,946 --> 00:00:15,280
Okay.
7
00:00:15,282 --> 00:00:17,516
(normal voice)
Where can I hide the bug?
8
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:19,718
In the dresser?
No, this is a motel.
9
00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,888
He'll leave right after we
have full-on rubber-less sex.
10
00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:24,623
Got it.
11
00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:31,230
(coughs) Did I just swallow one
of your teeth?
12
00:00:31,232 --> 00:00:33,399
FRANCINE:
Why am I recording all this?
13
00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:35,401
STAN:
'Cause I'm supposed to be
14
00:00:35,403 --> 00:00:37,236
a woman on this mission.
You're a spy?
15
00:00:37,238 --> 00:00:40,072
Now I feel like fool
for taking you to Jared's.
16
00:00:40,074 --> 00:00:41,206
(whack!)
17
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:46,578
She disappeared.
18
00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:48,080
Like ghost.
19
00:00:48,082 --> 00:00:51,450
Another perfect
American spy operation.
20
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:57,056
(groaning)
21
00:00:57,058 --> 00:00:59,558
(patriotic music plays)
22
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,761
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
23
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:06,165
¶ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ¶
24
00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:09,535
¶ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ¶
25
00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:13,605
¶ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ¶
26
00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:18,777
¶ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ¶
27
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:21,113
¶ Good -- ¶
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
28
00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:22,414
Aah!
29
00:01:23,617 --> 00:01:27,086
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
30
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,090
(grunting rhythmically)
31
00:01:31,092 --> 00:01:32,524
What are you boys doing?
32
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,860
We're going to the basement
to wrestle!
33
00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:36,361
But wrestling's dangerous.
34
00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:38,097
Not the way we do it,
mother.
35
00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:39,598
We never actually
get physical.
36
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,767
It's all about
the pageantry.
37
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,469
Hmm.
38
00:01:43,471 --> 00:01:45,671
Now you're just dangerously
close to me calling you a pussy.
39
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:49,441
It's so quiet.
Where is everyone?
40
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,876
Well, Stan's on a mission,
41
00:01:50,878 --> 00:01:52,878
so everyone's doing
whatever they want.
42
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:54,713
Steve's wrestling
in the basement,
43
00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:57,249
and Hayley's finally getting
into it with DirecTV.
44
00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:58,917
(sighs)
45
00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:00,886
Listen, Randall, I know
this isn't your fault.
46
00:02:00,888 --> 00:02:02,721
You seem like
a-a really solid dude.
47
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:04,656
So, you say
your husband's gone?
48
00:02:04,658 --> 00:02:05,991
Yeah.
49
00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:08,393
And you say
my husband's gone?
50
00:02:08,395 --> 00:02:09,595
I didn't...say that.
51
00:02:09,597 --> 00:02:10,662
Well, he is.
52
00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:13,398
Which makes us both...
53
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,300
Widows!
Widows!
54
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,302
I love the widow game!
55
00:02:17,304 --> 00:02:18,570
But you never love
catching on
56
00:02:18,572 --> 00:02:19,838
when I'm trying to get you
to play it.
57
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,907
You know I don't.
58
00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,812
Just some steak for a tragically
young widow, please.
59
00:02:26,814 --> 00:02:28,147
Which kind
would you like?
60
00:02:28,149 --> 00:02:30,149
There are different kinds?
61
00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:33,252
My dead husband bought --
I'm sorry.
62
00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:37,022
My dead husband used
to buy our steaks.
63
00:02:37,024 --> 00:02:39,758
As I said, I'm a widow.
64
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,527
Rib eye is the best.
65
00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:44,129
But does it also
cost the least?
66
00:02:44,131 --> 00:02:47,766
Since my husband died,
I've been so overwhelmed
67
00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:50,702
learning what
different things cost.
68
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:52,771
For a widow,
it's on the house.
69
00:02:52,773 --> 00:02:54,773
I'm the same as her.
Just drop it in the sack.
70
00:02:55,709 --> 00:02:57,042
(bell jingles)
71
00:02:57,044 --> 00:02:58,510
Widows!
Widows!
72
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,546
I can't let you test drive
a Lamborghini!
73
00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:02,347
You have no jobs,
no credit.
74
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,016
(crying)
No husbands.
75
00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:05,450
(normal voice)
We're widows.
76
00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:08,620
("Star Wars" theme plays)
77
00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:14,126
Widows!
Widows!
78
00:03:14,128 --> 00:03:15,494
(tires screech)
79
00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:19,498
¶ O'er the land of the free ¶
80
00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:21,900
¶ And the home ¶
81
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:22,901
¶ Of the ¶
82
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:24,570
¶ Brave widows ¶
83
00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:25,971
(cheering)
84
00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:28,340
(fireworks exploding)
85
00:03:28,342 --> 00:03:29,841
(tires screech)
86
00:03:29,843 --> 00:03:31,543
(sirens wailing)
87
00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:37,883
OFFICER: Pull over!
88
00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:40,052
You're being so crazy
right now!
89
00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:41,386
We're widows!
90
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:45,057
Good luck
finding love again!
91
00:03:45,059 --> 00:03:47,092
Love?!
I'm trying to get laid!
92
00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:50,229
Ba-ba-ba-bow!
93
00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:52,497
(tires screech)
94
00:03:54,068 --> 00:03:55,834
Widows.
Widows.
95
00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:57,703
Folks, we're now beginning
our descent into Denver.
96
00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:59,204
Oh, widows.
Oh, widows.
97
00:03:59,206 --> 00:04:00,439
(clicking)
98
00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:01,607
More champagne?
99
00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:04,209
Actually,
hate to be this widow,
100
00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:05,944
but we just remembered
101
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:09,047
our favorite restaurant
is in St. Louis.
102
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:10,182
And we're widows.
103
00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:12,918
Widows!
Widows!
104
00:04:14,521 --> 00:04:17,923
I'll have a spicy Italian
with the works.
105
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,358
Oh, and add avocado.
106
00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,759
Avocado is
a dollar extra.
107
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,661
Even for widows?
108
00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:26,965
¶¶
109
00:04:26,967 --> 00:04:29,101
Widows!
Widows!
110
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,775
And...we're rolling!
111
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:39,244
As we all know,
huge upcoming match
112
00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:42,147
at the Honda Center
in Anaheim, California.
113
00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:44,249
And the title
will be on the line.
114
00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:45,817
Sunday August 4th!
115
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,653
Ooh, the pageantry!
116
00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:49,087
Speak of the devil!
117
00:04:49,089 --> 00:04:51,923
Here he is, the defending
champion himself --
118
00:04:51,925 --> 00:04:54,926
Steve "The Total Package" Smith
119
00:04:54,928 --> 00:04:57,796
and his manager,
Mr. Mastermind.
120
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,298
Listen up!
121
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:02,901
Sooner or later, that piper,
he comes a-calling!
122
00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:05,404
And when the Snot Rocket
and I
123
00:05:05,406 --> 00:05:08,340
are locked in that cage
on August 4th
124
00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:10,175
at the Honda Center,
125
00:05:10,177 --> 00:05:14,146
it's gonna be his time to face
the truth --
126
00:05:14,148 --> 00:05:16,848
the purest truth
there is...
127
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:20,285
my championship belt.
128
00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:23,689
Mmm, mmm, mmm.
129
00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:26,024
If you've got something
to say to me,
130
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:27,793
you can say it
to my ugly face!
131
00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:29,294
Good Lord!
132
00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:32,764
It's the Snot Rocket
and Barrycuda The Blob.
133
00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,800
Nobody was expecting this.
134
00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:36,635
Total Package,
135
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:40,038
there's only one thing
keeping you alive --
136
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,341
that pretty face!
137
00:05:42,343 --> 00:05:44,343
And that belt!
138
00:05:44,345 --> 00:05:46,044
But I'm gonna take it
from you.
139
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:47,012
Ow!
140
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:48,180
I'm so sorry!
141
00:05:48,182 --> 00:05:49,681
You're not supposed
to hit.
142
00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:51,283
I know!
It was an accident.
143
00:05:51,285 --> 00:05:52,684
Are you okay?
144
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:53,852
I guess so.
145
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,687
Gentlemen, gentlemen!
146
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,689
Save it for August 4th --
147
00:05:57,691 --> 00:06:00,225
at the Honda Center
in Anaheim!
148
00:06:00,227 --> 00:06:01,660
Wow!
149
00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:03,695
(siren wails)
150
00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:09,901
We made great time
from St. Louis.
151
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:12,471
Lights and sirens, baby,
lights and sirens.
152
00:06:12,473 --> 00:06:13,672
BUNNY: Francine?
153
00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:15,741
Oh, crap.
Here comes a taco.
154
00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:18,677
It's me, Bunny.
Bunny Sanders.
155
00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:20,912
Bunny,
I didn't recognize you.
156
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,214
You look so different.
157
00:06:22,216 --> 00:06:23,915
How are things?
158
00:06:23,917 --> 00:06:25,751
I'm a dancing taco,
Francine.
159
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:28,053
Right, but wasn't that
always something
160
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,388
you talked about being?
161
00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:30,889
No.
162
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:32,824
I had to take this job
after my husband died.
163
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:34,926
Widows!
164
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:37,396
Sanders died?
How?
165
00:06:37,398 --> 00:06:39,231
On a mission.
166
00:06:39,233 --> 00:06:42,167
I just wish I'd been prepared
for life after John, you know?
167
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:44,035
I had no idea!
168
00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:47,672
Every day is
a brutal struggle.
169
00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:50,942
(horn honks)
170
00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:53,412
Thank you!
171
00:06:58,552 --> 00:07:00,285
These are gross.
172
00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:03,088
Kind of glad they capped me
at 50.
173
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:05,090
Oh, Stan, you're back!
174
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:06,024
It was awful!
175
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:07,292
I saw Bunny Sanders,
176
00:07:07,294 --> 00:07:09,261
and she was dressed
like a taco!
177
00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:11,630
Fashion is a playground,
Francine.
178
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:13,432
Just because you lack the balls
to mix it up
179
00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:15,867
doesn't mean you have to knock
someone else for taking a risk.
180
00:07:15,869 --> 00:07:17,436
That's exactly right, Stan.
181
00:07:17,438 --> 00:07:19,704
No!
That's Bunny's job now.
182
00:07:19,706 --> 00:07:22,774
Why didn't you tell me Sanders
died on one of your missions?
183
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:24,643
Because he didn't die
on a mission.
184
00:07:24,645 --> 00:07:26,745
He died on a body recovery
assignment --
185
00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:28,713
when we retrieve the bodies
of agents
186
00:07:28,715 --> 00:07:30,315
who did die on missions.
187
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:31,983
We do it all the time.
It's like most of my job.
188
00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:33,418
(cellphone chimes)
189
00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:35,654
See? Body recovery.
Another dead agent.
190
00:07:35,656 --> 00:07:36,988
So you can stop worrying.
191
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:38,890
Gotta run.
Enjoy that popcorn.
192
00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:42,828
Speaking of popcorn,
imagine if we were so poor
193
00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:45,130
we had to decorate
our Christmas tree with it.
194
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,631
(popcorn popping)
195
00:07:51,839 --> 00:07:54,005
(gunfire)
196
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:55,474
(grunts)
197
00:07:55,476 --> 00:07:58,910
(gunfire continues)
198
00:07:58,912 --> 00:08:00,479
(grunts)
199
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:03,882
(grunt echoing)
200
00:08:05,085 --> 00:08:06,852
(screams)
201
00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:08,587
Francine,
give it a rest!
202
00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:10,856
You don't see me screaming
at my tacos.
203
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:13,592
Wait a minute.
The tacos!
204
00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:18,597
(screaming)
205
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,165
(screaming)
206
00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:26,338
It's a new widow day!
207
00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:27,939
Let's go down
to the graveyard
208
00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:29,708
and give 'em the old
"dig 'em up,
209
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:31,743
I want to see his face
one last time."
210
00:08:33,447 --> 00:08:35,347
Ugh.
A support group.
211
00:08:35,349 --> 00:08:37,349
What's fun about this?
Nothing.
212
00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:40,018
Seeing Bunny yesterday
made me realize
213
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:43,121
a widow's life isn't all Lambos
and rib eyes.
214
00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,891
Look, Fran, we're all badly
shaken by Sanders' death.
215
00:08:45,893 --> 00:08:48,493
I mean, I felt terrible
stealing Bunny's wallet
216
00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:50,829
through the leg hole
of the taco yesterday.
217
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:51,897
But we don't need this.
218
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:53,064
I do.
219
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:55,467
What if Stan actually
gets killed?
220
00:08:55,469 --> 00:08:58,236
I need to hear what
this is really like,
221
00:08:58,238 --> 00:09:00,739
so I'm prepared
if it does happen.
222
00:09:02,142 --> 00:09:03,508
Death is natural.
223
00:09:03,510 --> 00:09:06,244
It's our reactions
that are unnatural.
224
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,713
That's true,
but it's not funny.
225
00:09:10,984 --> 00:09:13,218
It's the quiet
that really gets me.
226
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:15,487
I used to come downstairs
on a Sunday
227
00:09:15,489 --> 00:09:16,821
and hear the game on.
228
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:18,890
Bob would be cursing
the Giants.
229
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,393
Now when I come down
the stairs on Sunday,
230
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:24,062
no game, no cursing.
231
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,397
No Bob!
232
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:27,065
No Stan.
233
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:30,101
(sobbing)
234
00:09:30,103 --> 00:09:31,436
Why?!
235
00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:33,171
Nailed it!
236
00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:35,874
(crying)
237
00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:37,208
But I can beat it.
238
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:38,944
Name's Roger.
I'm female.
239
00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:40,545
My second husband's name
was Eric,
240
00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:44,749
and as it turned out,
he died by my own hand.
241
00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:49,187
Did it just happen?
242
00:09:49,189 --> 00:09:51,756
You have to be
more specific.
243
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,458
I have no idea
what you're t--
244
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:56,094
oh, my husband's death,
yes!
245
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,128
(somber voice) Yes.
246
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:58,597
So fresh.
247
00:09:58,599 --> 00:10:01,266
The best thing you can do
for yourself now
248
00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:03,535
is to just keep getting out
of the house.
249
00:10:03,537 --> 00:10:05,136
Do you have a job?
250
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:08,473
Some people say raising
their children is a job...
251
00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:10,609
But I haven't really
treated it that way.
252
00:10:10,611 --> 00:10:13,979
Francine, I'm a partner at
a Fortune 500 marketing agency,
253
00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,313
and I know for a fact
254
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:17,983
that there's a position
available right now...
255
00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:20,151
At the diner
across from my office.
256
00:10:20,153 --> 00:10:21,886
And you!
257
00:10:21,888 --> 00:10:23,989
Do you have any
marketing experience?
258
00:10:23,991 --> 00:10:26,591
I beat a homicide rap
I confessed to many times.
259
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:28,660
I think I can figure
out marketing.
260
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,477
Roger?
261
00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:46,811
Where'd you get the car?
262
00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:48,079
The agency sent it.
263
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:49,981
Probably as a show
of good faith.
264
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,816
Contract negotiations
were...
265
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:53,685
Not something
we engaged in.
266
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,453
Wait, don't you want
to hear about me?
267
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:58,957
(sighs)
Go ahead, say your words.
268
00:10:58,959 --> 00:11:01,026
I got the job
at that diner!
269
00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:02,761
What do you know!
270
00:11:02,763 --> 00:11:05,030
I know I said I needed to hear
what it would be like
271
00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:06,931
to be a real widow,
but I think I need...
272
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:08,600
(air hisses)
273
00:11:08,602 --> 00:11:10,368
I need to live it.
274
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,440
Stunning turn of events
tonight.
275
00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:18,710
Mr. Mastermind has defected
to the league of enforcers!
276
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:22,280
I couldn't care less
about Mr. Master-fool
277
00:11:22,282 --> 00:11:25,283
and the League
of Dumb Forcers!
278
00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:27,886
(yelling)
279
00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:30,021
This is the only thing
that matters!
280
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,190
Which is why
it's going to me...
281
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:35,060
Brian
"The Home Invader" Lewis,
282
00:11:35,062 --> 00:11:39,230
A.K.A., The Basement Creep,
A.K.A., Midnight Lace!
283
00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:40,999
Principal Lewis, what are you
doing in our basement?
284
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,667
I honestly have no clue.
285
00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:44,335
Last thing I remember,
I was climbing in that window.
286
00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:46,004
Anyway, the belt is mine!
287
00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:47,672
Ah! Careful.
288
00:11:47,674 --> 00:11:49,340
This isn't what
we're doing.
289
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:50,909
Light touch,
light touch.
290
00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:52,977
Wrestling is all about
the pagean--
291
00:11:52,979 --> 00:11:54,579
Aah! Oh!
292
00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:56,748
(grunts)
293
00:11:56,750 --> 00:11:58,650
(screams)
294
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,620
(slam!)
295
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:04,589
Aah!
296
00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:06,391
No!
297
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:07,559
(slam!)
298
00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:10,562
Oh, my God!
You're our principal!
299
00:12:10,564 --> 00:12:12,097
You think this is crazy,
300
00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:14,499
well, August 4th
is gonna be insane!
301
00:12:14,501 --> 00:12:16,601
That's the Honda Center,
August 4th.
302
00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:19,604
STEVE (strained voice): Klaus,
for God's sakes, get help.
303
00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:21,506
Be there!
304
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:25,210
Francine, I'm back!
305
00:12:25,212 --> 00:12:26,511
We recovered...
306
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:27,545
Most of the body.
307
00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:28,780
Franny's not here.
308
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:30,515
Actually,
the whole family's busy.
309
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:32,450
Sir, I can't express
this enough.
310
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:34,786
You're never gonna win me
back with Encore.
311
00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:36,020
Hayley's doing that
and, oh,
312
00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:37,789
you know how when you leave
on a mission,
313
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,924
Francine and I pretend
you're dead and play widows?
314
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:41,593
Play widows?!
Yeah.
315
00:12:41,595 --> 00:12:43,428
And this time,
she really committed.
316
00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:46,131
She's, like, all bummed out
and working at a crappy diner.
317
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:48,266
I swear, if I weren't
in a God damn bake-off
318
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:51,136
with half of Madison Avenue to
land the new Dentine campaign,
319
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:52,971
I would be
very concerned about her.
320
00:12:52,973 --> 00:12:55,440
Oh, on a side note,
what's the number one thing
321
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,041
you look for
in an iced gum?
322
00:12:57,043 --> 00:12:58,476
Flavor sustainability.
323
00:12:58,478 --> 00:13:00,211
Now take me to that diner!
324
00:13:02,716 --> 00:13:04,149
Oh, my God!
325
00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:06,818
She's really acting like
I'm dead!
326
00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:09,487
Francine,
how did you end up here?
327
00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:12,056
Yecch, it was gross.
She took the bus.
328
00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:20,165
I go on a mission, risk my life,
and she plays widow?
329
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,966
It's not playing,
it's more...
330
00:13:21,968 --> 00:13:24,335
It's too bad your psychologist,
Dr. Penguin,
331
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:25,970
is on a book tour,
332
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:28,006
'cause his new book touches
on this very subject.
333
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:29,474
It's called
"coping a feel."
334
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:30,842
Roger!
335
00:13:30,844 --> 00:13:32,844
Whoa, hey!
You have a dangerous job.
336
00:13:32,846 --> 00:13:34,479
When we were
fooling around,
337
00:13:34,481 --> 00:13:36,347
playing widows,
she was coping...
338
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:37,582
A feel.
339
00:13:37,584 --> 00:13:39,284
A book now available
on Amazon.
340
00:13:39,286 --> 00:13:40,685
This is dumb.
I'm going in there!
341
00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:42,187
I-I wouldn't do that!
342
00:13:42,189 --> 00:13:44,923
She's fragile.
This calls for a gentle hand.
343
00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,258
Let me go in there,
do my thing.
344
00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:56,100
¶¶
345
00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:18,790
Well, is she coming home?
346
00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:20,358
Oh, shit, sorry.
347
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,460
Totally forget about all
the stuff we talked about.
348
00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:24,295
But I did remember you,
Gerald.
349
00:14:24,297 --> 00:14:25,363
Meatballs!
350
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,032
Gotta take care of my boy.
351
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:32,737
Wow, Stan wasn't as impressed
as I thought he'd be
352
00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:34,572
when I gave away
those meatballs.
353
00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:36,241
You know what,
give 'em back.
354
00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:38,309
We'll try again when I have
Stan's full attention.
355
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:39,410
Francine!
356
00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:41,212
(gasps)
Stan! You scared me.
357
00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,714
I scared you?
358
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:44,582
You're scaring me.
What are you doing here?
359
00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:45,717
I'm working.
360
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:47,585
Working?
You're acting crazy.
361
00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:48,820
This isn't crazy.
362
00:14:48,822 --> 00:14:50,822
Crazy is how I used
to act,
363
00:14:50,824 --> 00:14:53,324
pretending everything
was hunky-dory.
364
00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:54,726
Look, I don't want
to do this here.
365
00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:55,760
It's time to go home!
366
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:57,729
No, let go!
I'm working!
367
00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,931
Hey, this guy
bothering you, Fran?
368
00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:02,800
No.
He was just leaving.
369
00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:07,605
Look, Francine,
maybe that guy's not perfect,
370
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:10,375
but I got news for ya --
you're not getting any younger.
371
00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:14,112
And, oh, Ryan Gosling's never
walking through that door.
372
00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:15,780
So?
373
00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:17,382
I couldn't get
through to her.
374
00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:18,716
She's lost it.
375
00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:20,885
Come on, Stan.
Let's get out of here.
376
00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:22,687
I'm your wife now.
377
00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:23,855
No, Roger.
378
00:15:30,964 --> 00:15:33,298
I just don't get why
she's acting like this.
379
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:35,767
Francine loves you,
but she worries about you.
380
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:37,869
And that makes her worry
about herself.
381
00:15:37,871 --> 00:15:40,371
But when I'm on a mission,
it's my life on the line.
382
00:15:40,373 --> 00:15:42,040
And when your life's
on the line,
383
00:15:42,042 --> 00:15:43,641
her life's
on the line, too.
384
00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:45,743
Everything would change for her
if you were gone.
385
00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:47,812
Hmm. I never thought about it
that way.
386
00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:49,580
That's 'cause you're thick,
Stan.
387
00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:52,250
I'll go back in and tell her
I understand...
388
00:15:52,252 --> 00:15:53,251
If she'll listen.
389
00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:54,752
She won't.
390
00:15:54,754 --> 00:15:56,721
In the marketing world,
we have a term for this.
391
00:15:56,723 --> 00:15:57,922
You've burned that bridge.
392
00:15:57,924 --> 00:15:59,490
So what am I
supposed to do?
393
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:01,759
Ugh! It's so hard having to do
all the thinking.
394
00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:03,995
You're lucking I'm a marketing
genius, currently.
395
00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:05,129
Take us to the office,
Gerald!
396
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,798
Yes, sir.
397
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,466
But then I'm gonna have
to close out your fare.
398
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:10,635
Fare? Wait, the company
didn't send you.
399
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:12,904
No, I'm an Uber driver you hired
a few days ago
400
00:16:12,906 --> 00:16:13,905
when you were drunk.
401
00:16:13,907 --> 00:16:14,973
Uber-X?
402
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:16,307
Uber Black.
403
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,176
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, I'm ruined.
404
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,311
ROGER:
¶ Roger, Roger ¶
405
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,313
¶ Marketing, marketing ¶
406
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,082
¶ Genius, genius ¶
407
00:16:24,084 --> 00:16:26,351
¶ Genius, genius ¶
408
00:16:26,353 --> 00:16:27,952
¶ Me ¶
409
00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:29,420
Roger, get to the point!
410
00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:30,788
If you want Francine,
411
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:32,757
you're gonna have to change
your approach.
412
00:16:32,759 --> 00:16:35,526
Every marketing genius knows
that to reach the customer,
413
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:38,196
you have to show them you
understand their problems.
414
00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:41,366
Show Francine I get
what she's going through.
415
00:16:41,368 --> 00:16:42,533
Bingo.
416
00:16:42,535 --> 00:16:44,202
Show, don't tell.
417
00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:47,005
And the best way to do that
is to make the consumer
418
00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:50,074
feel like you don't just
get them, you are them.
419
00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:56,014
So what do you say?
Did we land Dentine Ice?
420
00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:57,348
What?
421
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:59,117
Sorry, I repurposed
the Dentine pitch.
422
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:00,518
But you see
what I'm saying?
423
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,454
Yeah. I do.
424
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:04,689
Oh, one last thing.
425
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,024
If you were an exec
at Dentine,
426
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:07,725
would that pitch
have worked on you?
427
00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:10,228
Of course, I would have
replaced the word "Francine"
428
00:17:10,230 --> 00:17:12,063
with "Dentine Ice"
in most instances.
429
00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:14,065
Roger...
430
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,566
I like it.
431
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:17,235
I really do.
432
00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:19,737
It's just not us.
It's not Dentine.
433
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:26,577
Stan,
I told you to get out!
434
00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:29,480
I'm sorry, you must be mistaking
me for someone else.
435
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:32,083
I'm just a sad widower looking
for a hot meal.
436
00:17:32,085 --> 00:17:34,052
Oh, now you're
making fun of me?
437
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:36,888
I don't know what you're
talking about, nice lady.
438
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:39,824
Whatever.
Sit anywhere you like.
439
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,761
So, need a minute
to decide?
440
00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:45,830
I'm thinking about
the Clams Casino.
441
00:17:45,832 --> 00:17:47,765
Are the clams fresh?
No.
442
00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:50,935
Ah, I don't know where it's okay
to order seafood.
443
00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:54,172
My wife always helps --
used to help me with that.
444
00:17:54,174 --> 00:17:56,274
What...happened to her?
445
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:58,509
She died -- all the way.
446
00:17:58,511 --> 00:18:02,413
Why don't I fire up
those old clams.
447
00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:11,122
I was deeply, truly surprised
by principal Lewis
448
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:13,024
coming out
from behind the boiler.
449
00:18:13,026 --> 00:18:16,360
This is bad.
But you know the worst part?
450
00:18:16,362 --> 00:18:18,596
The hospital food.
451
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:21,699
Barry, my friend,
that well-placed taste of comedy
452
00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:24,635
is just the elixir these
battered bones needed.
453
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:26,437
Well, your vitals
are looking good.
454
00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:27,939
Doctor,
what do you think?
455
00:18:27,941 --> 00:18:29,874
Oh, uh, yes,
I'll take it from here.
456
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:34,378
Oh, no, Principal Lewis!
457
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:37,915
Oh, no!
Midnight Lace!
458
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:40,318
Splatter's up, boys!
459
00:18:40,320 --> 00:18:41,552
(grunting)
460
00:18:41,554 --> 00:18:46,157
(screaming)
461
00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:48,159
(growling)
462
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:50,995
You want this belt back,
you can come and get it --
463
00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:53,231
August 4th
at the Honda Center!
464
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:56,200
I don't think
I'm gonna go.
465
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:00,638
So how did your wife die?
On the job.
466
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,474
It was a very dangerous
line of work.
467
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:06,177
She was an assassin,
but for space.
468
00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:08,012
A space assassin?
469
00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:09,514
Naturally.
470
00:19:09,516 --> 00:19:11,849
I know it was hard for her
to risk her life,
471
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,618
but I don't think
she realized
472
00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:16,320
how hard it was for me every
time she blasted off.
473
00:19:18,024 --> 00:19:20,091
If something happened to her
up there, I...
474
00:19:20,093 --> 00:19:22,627
I didn't know if I could ever
put my life back together.
475
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:26,130
Oh, Stan!
That's exactly how I feel!
476
00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:27,365
(door bell jingles)
477
00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:28,699
Why isn't everyone
cheering?
478
00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:31,035
Down on the ground,
both of you!
479
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:32,537
Now is a bad time, guys.
480
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:34,539
There are some pretty big
feelings going on here.
481
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:36,507
Now empty your pockets!
482
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:40,011
Francine,
do what the man says.
483
00:19:42,115 --> 00:19:43,848
(screams)
484
00:19:45,518 --> 00:19:47,018
Ow, ow, ow!
485
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:49,453
Looks like
you're out of weapons.
486
00:19:49,455 --> 00:19:51,022
I don't need one.
487
00:19:51,024 --> 00:19:53,090
I had the clams.
488
00:19:54,561 --> 00:19:56,894
(horn blares)
489
00:19:56,896 --> 00:20:00,064
Francine,
I want you to come home.
490
00:20:00,066 --> 00:20:02,333
'Cause I always want
to come home to you.
491
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:04,001
But when I'm on missions,
492
00:20:04,003 --> 00:20:06,971
if playing widow keeps you
from worrying about me...
493
00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:08,839
Then play your heart out.
494
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:11,509
Honestly, Stan,
after seeing all that,
495
00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:14,078
I'm not so worried
about you anymore.
496
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,647
You're, like,
really good.
497
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:18,049
Mmm!
498
00:20:20,386 --> 00:20:21,919
Shall we?
499
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:23,554
(sloshing)
500
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:27,658
Let's get one thing
out of the way.
501
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,894
The gum is terrible.
502
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:31,262
Oh, sit down, David.
503
00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:33,931
Let's see where
she's going with this.
504
00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:36,100
You better know
what you're doing.
505
00:20:36,102 --> 00:20:38,436
(breathes deeply)
506
00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:42,840
Dentine Ice loves you,
but she worries about you.
507
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:45,276
And that makes her worry
about herself.
508
00:20:45,278 --> 00:20:48,679
When your life's on the line,
her life's on the line, too.
509
00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:50,615
She, being Dentine Ice.
510
00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:54,118
Got 'em.
511
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,386
So what do ya say?
512
00:20:55,388 --> 00:20:57,421
Did we land
Francine Ice?
513
00:20:57,423 --> 00:20:59,757
What?
What did I say?
514
00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:02,260
Did I just tell everyone
I'm an alien?
515
00:21:02,262 --> 00:21:04,262
Have a great night.