1
00:00:01,869 --> 00:00:03,102
(music playing faintly)
2
00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:05,637
Guys, we made it.
3
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:08,040
We're finally invited to
a party with the cool kids.
4
00:00:08,042 --> 00:00:09,775
That's right, boys.
5
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:11,944
Once again,
we're being socially rewarded
6
00:00:11,946 --> 00:00:13,712
thanks to my...
7
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:16,382
(imitates Kermit the Frog)
Kermit the Frog voice.
8
00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:18,517
Wocka, wocka, wocka.
We're at the door.
9
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,552
Seriously, guys.
Shut the (bleep) up.
10
00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:22,154
(doorbell rings)
11
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:24,623
Oh, this is great.
You guys came!
12
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:27,126
Of course.
One needn't always watch
13
00:00:27,128 --> 00:00:29,461
"C.S.I. Cyber"
the night that it airs.
14
00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:32,264
(laughs)
Turn your invitations over.
15
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:39,004
Oh, no, the back!
Why didn't we read the back?
16
00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:40,739
Do we have to stay
for this?
17
00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:43,208
What's the etiquette here?
18
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,844
(cheering)
19
00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:47,813
BOY: Yeah!
20
00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:49,048
(gasps)
21
00:00:49,050 --> 00:00:50,315
(shrieks)
22
00:00:50,317 --> 00:00:51,417
(grunts)
23
00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:55,220
SNOT: Steve!
24
00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:56,989
Go on without me!
25
00:00:56,991 --> 00:01:00,092
No! Never leave
a friend behind.
26
00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:02,895
(cheering continues)
27
00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:06,498
(speaking Japanese)
28
00:01:09,203 --> 00:01:11,103
(chirping)
29
00:01:11,105 --> 00:01:13,405
BOTH: Aww!
Aww!
30
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:14,740
(splat)
31
00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:16,075
MERTZ: Ha ha!
32
00:01:16,077 --> 00:01:18,577
(patriotic music plays)
33
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:21,847
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
34
00:01:21,849 --> 00:01:25,217
¶ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ¶
35
00:01:25,219 --> 00:01:28,520
¶ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ¶
36
00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:32,591
¶ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ¶
37
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:37,763
¶ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ¶
38
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:40,065
¶ Good -- ¶
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
39
00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:41,366
Aah!
40
00:01:42,603 --> 00:01:46,038
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
41
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,443
SNOT: Oh, man.
42
00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:54,746
Looks like the party really
took off after we left.
43
00:01:54,748 --> 00:01:56,315
Should we have stayed?
44
00:01:56,317 --> 00:01:58,484
I just wanted to go to
one awesome party.
45
00:01:58,486 --> 00:02:00,486
Throw your own party.
46
00:02:00,488 --> 00:02:01,987
E-Excuse me?
47
00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:04,256
You're sick of not having
parties to go to?
48
00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:05,924
Throw your own.
49
00:02:05,926 --> 00:02:09,328
Sounds to me like you boys
deserve your moment
50
00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:12,564
of being cool.
51
00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:15,300
That was weird.
52
00:02:15,302 --> 00:02:17,603
Gentlemen,
that man at Bobby Freeze
53
00:02:17,605 --> 00:02:18,904
was onto something.
54
00:02:18,906 --> 00:02:20,772
And when a weird man
approaches you,
55
00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:23,342
a young boy in public,
you do what he tells you.
56
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:24,910
We're having a party.
57
00:02:24,912 --> 00:02:26,745
Where?
Right here.
58
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:29,114
My parents are on vacation
in Sarajevo.
59
00:02:29,116 --> 00:02:30,582
Every four years,
60
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:32,518
they like to tour
a former Olympic site
61
00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,253
so they can imagine
what the games were like
62
00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:36,455
and reflect on
how the Olympians' best days
63
00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:37,923
are long behind them.
64
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:39,691
SNOT:
Great idea for a vacation.
65
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,360
BARRY: The Olympics
create more problems
66
00:02:41,362 --> 00:02:42,794
than they fix for a city.
67
00:02:42,796 --> 00:02:44,163
And every year,
68
00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:45,531
they leave me
a special allowance
69
00:02:45,533 --> 00:02:46,965
in case I decide
to have some fun
70
00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:47,966
while they're away.
71
00:02:47,968 --> 00:02:49,468
I've never touched it.
72
00:02:49,470 --> 00:02:52,171
So we can spend $400
on an awesome party.
73
00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:54,439
And the popular kids
won't be invited.
74
00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:57,509
It'll be for kids like us --
the dorks and nerds.
75
00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,878
And the kids who are both
stupid and unattractive.
76
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,346
Aren't those dorks?
77
00:03:01,348 --> 00:03:03,649
No, dorks are often quite
good-looking.
78
00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:07,352
We'll invite Small Head David,
uh, Friendless Becky Fleming.
79
00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:09,221
Lolo Fuentes.
80
00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:13,492
Sexually Curious
Homeschooled Girl Lolo Fuentes?
81
00:03:13,494 --> 00:03:15,661
Her parents don't let her
leave the house.
82
00:03:15,663 --> 00:03:17,396
Maybe she'd sneak out
for this.
83
00:03:17,398 --> 00:03:19,965
'Cause this is gonna be
a party for all the kids
84
00:03:19,967 --> 00:03:21,700
who are never included.
85
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,635
A party for the...
86
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:24,870
SNOT AND STEVE:
Unincludeds!
87
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:27,573
The deaf kids!
88
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:34,813
(John Williams' "Olympic Fanfare
and Theme" playing)
89
00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,815
Francine, come and picture
what it was like
90
00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:39,351
to watch the opening ceremonies
from here.
91
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:42,721
Ever done it in an abandoned
Eastern Bloc sports arena?
92
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:45,257
Mmm, that depends.
93
00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:48,227
Is Romania
in the Eastern Bloc?
94
00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:50,562
And does it still count
if the stadium
95
00:03:50,564 --> 00:03:54,399
was full of
screaming spectators?
96
00:03:58,739 --> 00:04:01,740
What kind of food is
"nouveau Fretalian"?
97
00:04:01,742 --> 00:04:03,742
Stick with me.
I'm gonna nail my order.
98
00:04:03,744 --> 00:04:05,444
Hi. What can I get you?
99
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:08,280
I guess I'll have
the beet salad,
100
00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:10,916
and, um, the risotto,
and a glass of red wine.
101
00:04:10,918 --> 00:04:12,417
Um, anything that's not
too expensive.
102
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:13,585
Great order.
103
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:16,188
(chuckling) Oh, please.
104
00:04:16,190 --> 00:04:18,423
I'll have the tuna tartare
with quail egg,
105
00:04:18,425 --> 00:04:21,526
the duck with pear mostarda,
and a glass of prosecco.
106
00:04:21,528 --> 00:04:23,362
I'll put that in
right away.
107
00:04:24,698 --> 00:04:27,799
How could she compliment
your order and not mine?
108
00:04:27,801 --> 00:04:29,234
Did she?
Please.
109
00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:31,737
She practically dry-humped
your turd of an order.
110
00:04:31,739 --> 00:04:33,205
Mine was inspired.
111
00:04:33,207 --> 00:04:34,806
She should've said
"great order" to me!
112
00:04:34,808 --> 00:04:36,575
Maybe she sensed that you were
gonna make me pay.
113
00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:37,976
Of course
you're paying for this.
114
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,311
Who do you think was
paying for this?
115
00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:40,579
That I'd pay for this?
116
00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:42,147
After the way
I've been treated?!
117
00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:46,051
(Club music playing,
indistinct conversations)
118
00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:51,323
Whoa, it's packed!
119
00:04:51,325 --> 00:04:53,425
(doorbell rings)
120
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:55,927
Yo, I heard you losers
are having a party.
121
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:57,829
And I go to every party
122
00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:59,898
'cause I kinda have
a drinking problem.
123
00:04:59,900 --> 00:05:02,501
Welcome. If you would just
stand on that "X,"
124
00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:04,970
someone will be along
to take your coat.
125
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:07,673
MERTZ:
Coat check! Nice touch.
126
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,476
It's actually
a little chilly.
127
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,011
I might hang on to my coat.
128
00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:15,514
Hey, Mertz!
How do you like your eggs?
129
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,916
I like 'em hard-boiled
in the winter
130
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:20,118
so I can put 'em
in my pockets
131
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,954
and keep my hands warm
on my walk to --
132
00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,923
(grunting)
133
00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:26,658
Aah!
134
00:05:27,594 --> 00:05:31,229
Guys, we've become
what we despise.
135
00:05:32,199 --> 00:05:34,499
Yay!
All right!
136
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,269
Our reign of cool
starts now.
137
00:05:37,271 --> 00:05:40,639
(electricity crackles)
138
00:05:40,641 --> 00:05:43,375
(door whooshes)
139
00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:45,344
Whoa.
Who are you?
140
00:05:45,346 --> 00:05:48,613
I'm you, Steve,
from the year 2040.
141
00:05:48,615 --> 00:05:51,650
And I'm you, Snot,
and we're here to warn you.
142
00:05:51,652 --> 00:05:53,752
You can't go back
to that party.
143
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,722
If you're from the future,
144
00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:59,024
who wins the World Series
next year?
145
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:00,525
Rene Russo.
146
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:03,128
Buckle up,
it's a crazy season.
147
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:07,833
(soft rock music playing)
148
00:06:07,835 --> 00:06:10,635
Future us?
We're so polished.
149
00:06:10,637 --> 00:06:13,572
Steve, look at us!
We're still hanging out.
150
00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:15,240
Yeah, we're best friends,
151
00:06:15,242 --> 00:06:17,576
like Taylor Swift
and Usain Bolt.
152
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:19,511
Oh, you don't know
about that yet.
153
00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:20,812
They become best friends,
154
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,381
briefly overthrow
the U.S. government,
155
00:06:22,383 --> 00:06:24,182
and are beheaded together
in Times Square.
156
00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:26,585
Steve, they don't want
a boring history lesson.
157
00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:28,186
What's important is
158
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:31,189
we've been inseparable
for like 30 years.
159
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:34,292
And together, we invented
the time machine.
160
00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:37,562
See, here's
the secret to life --
161
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:39,598
if you're an awkward outsider
as a kid,
162
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:42,868
you end up being a rich, cool,
and very successful adult.
163
00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:44,403
But a few days ago,
164
00:06:44,405 --> 00:06:46,104
we had a couple failures
in the lab,
165
00:06:46,106 --> 00:06:47,572
and that was weird.
166
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,841
And when I got a memory
of getting a blow job
167
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:52,577
in high school, we knew
something was very wrong.
168
00:06:52,579 --> 00:06:54,246
(sarcastically)
Oh, no, that's so bad.
169
00:06:54,248 --> 00:06:56,515
We checked the security
footage from our lab
170
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:59,684
and noticed that Mertz stole
one of our time machines.
171
00:06:59,686 --> 00:07:02,621
I bet Mertz was that janitor
in Bobby Freeze!
172
00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:04,523
He -- He told us
to have a party.
173
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:07,359
Oh! He wants you
to be cool now
174
00:07:07,361 --> 00:07:09,628
so in the future,
you aren't as successful.
175
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:12,431
You guys can't go back down
to that party.
176
00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:14,032
What?
177
00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:16,401
You're asking us to give up
our chance to be popular
178
00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:18,904
and talk to all the girls
who are here to see us?
179
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:21,072
It better be worth it
for us later on.
180
00:07:21,074 --> 00:07:22,707
Oh, it is.
181
00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:25,610
I've had sex four times
with three different women.
182
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:29,581
You hear that, Snot?
Someone came back for seconds.
183
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,583
Snot?
184
00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:35,787
He went down to the party!
He's gonna ruin everything!
185
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:38,657
Okay, go get him,
but don't talk to anyone.
186
00:07:38,659 --> 00:07:40,425
Don't do anything memorable.
187
00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:43,428
Just make your usual
zero impact on people.
188
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:45,063
Your future depends on it.
189
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,166
What happens to me
and Toshi?
190
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:50,669
Toshi stopped talking to us
after high school.
191
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:53,104
(speaks Japanese)
192
00:07:53,106 --> 00:07:55,140
And, Barry, old friend,
193
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:57,476
you died young in
a Formula One accident.
194
00:07:57,478 --> 00:08:00,278
Did a wheel hop the grandstand
and take my head off
195
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,981
because I was looking
the other way because of nachos?
196
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:06,451
No, you were
a super-famous driver.
197
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:08,286
Oh.
In fact,
198
00:08:08,288 --> 00:08:10,589
during your
final Grand Prix,
199
00:08:10,591 --> 00:08:12,591
you got blinded
by the amount of tits
200
00:08:12,593 --> 00:08:14,192
being flashed in your face.
201
00:08:14,194 --> 00:08:16,194
But you kept your foot
on the gas, Barry.
202
00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:17,762
That was your way.
203
00:08:17,764 --> 00:08:20,532
No one had ever seen
a blind guy drive so straight.
204
00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:23,101
If only it had been
a straight course.
205
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:27,639
I don't wanna do this.
206
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:29,541
Since when did that ever
affect what we do?
207
00:08:29,543 --> 00:08:31,009
So, you know the plan?
Yeah.
208
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,611
We reverse our orders
from the last time
209
00:08:32,613 --> 00:08:34,145
to see if she compliments
your order.
210
00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:36,481
And if she doesn't,
we'll know it's personal.
211
00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:38,450
And if it's personal,
you wanna guess
212
00:08:38,452 --> 00:08:40,385
which direction
the shit's going, Hayley?
213
00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:43,555
"A," down. "B," up.
"C," none of the above!
214
00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:44,890
Take the test, Hayley!
215
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:46,358
"A!"
Which one was "A"?
216
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:47,826
Down.
That's right!
217
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:50,562
Good evening.
Oh! Buenos noches.
218
00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:52,163
I think we're ready.
219
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,199
I'll have the beet salad,
risotto,
220
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,201
and a glass of red wine.
And for you?
221
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:58,904
I'll have the quail egg,
tuna tartare,
222
00:08:58,906 --> 00:09:01,873
the duck with pear mostarda,
223
00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:04,142
and a glass of, uh,
prosecco.
224
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:05,377
Ooh, great order.
225
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:06,978
No, no, absolutely no!
226
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:08,747
Why did you tell her
she had a great order,
227
00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:11,016
but not me?
Did I? I'm sorry.
228
00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:13,118
I have a date tonight.
I wasn't even thinking.
229
00:09:14,388 --> 00:09:17,055
You heard her.
It's personal.
230
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:19,057
That's not what she --
It's personal!
231
00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:21,560
(music playing faintly)
232
00:09:21,562 --> 00:09:24,696
(indistinct conversations)
233
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:27,232
Oh...zero impact.
234
00:09:27,234 --> 00:09:29,768
Don't even make a ripple.
235
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:31,570
(indistinct conversations)
236
00:09:31,572 --> 00:09:33,605
Klaus,
have you seen Snot?
237
00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:35,407
Why would I be
looking for Snot?
238
00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:37,275
This dude's hitting on me!
239
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:40,045
BOY: It's Steve!
BOY: Steve, come hang out!
240
00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:41,446
Don't even make eye contact.
241
00:09:41,448 --> 00:09:42,781
(doorbell rings)
242
00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:48,119
¶¶
243
00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,088
Lolo Fuentes.
244
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,957
Lolo Fuentes.
245
00:09:51,959 --> 00:09:53,425
It's Lolo Fuentes.
246
00:09:53,427 --> 00:09:55,026
That's Lolo Fuentes.
247
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:57,062
Lolo Fuentes is here.
248
00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:59,464
Lolo Fuentes.
249
00:10:08,809 --> 00:10:10,408
Steve Smith?
250
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:12,043
Um...
251
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:13,478
I'm Lolo Fuentes.
252
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,213
I've been homeschooled
my entire life,
253
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:17,582
and I've never socialized
with peers before tonight.
254
00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:18,883
Thank you for including me.
255
00:10:18,885 --> 00:10:22,821
Uhh...
256
00:10:22,823 --> 00:10:24,222
I've never talked to
a boy before,
257
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,291
but even I can tell
you're being smooth.
258
00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:27,993
(chuckles) And I can't lie.
259
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:29,961
I'm -- I'm feeling some
new feelings.
260
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,397
May -- May I hug you?
261
00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:33,999
Zero impact.
262
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,900
You know just what to say.
263
00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:37,068
Mm...
264
00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:39,404
SIA: ¶ I'm ¶
BOTH: Mm!
265
00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:42,007
¶ Gonna swing ¶
BOY: Whoa!
266
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:44,075
¶ From the chandelier ¶
BOY: Check out Steve-o!
267
00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:45,443
GIRL: Steve's the man!
(both moaning)
268
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:47,012
BOY: Nice work, camera guy.
269
00:10:47,014 --> 00:10:48,680
Thanks, man.
270
00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:50,682
No one's more unincluded
thank the camera guy.
271
00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:55,587
¶ Gonna live like
tomorrow doesn't exist ¶
272
00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:58,323
¶ Like it doesn't exist ¶
(moaning continues)
273
00:10:58,325 --> 00:11:01,026
Steve, when you grow up
and your life's awesome,
274
00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:03,662
you're gonna look back
on this moment, bro.
275
00:11:03,664 --> 00:11:06,998
This is the moment
that changed everything.
276
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:10,101
¶ Feel my tears as they dry ¶
277
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:12,937
¶ I'm...¶
SNOT: Steve!
278
00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:14,706
Hey, where am I?
279
00:11:14,708 --> 00:11:17,142
A second ago I was blasting
my abs at the gym
280
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:20,612
where I train for free
because I'm assistant manager.
281
00:11:20,614 --> 00:11:23,214
Whoa! I'm so ripped now.
282
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:24,949
How many girls have you
had sex with?
283
00:11:24,951 --> 00:11:27,218
How many girls
haven't I had sex with?
284
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:28,486
Zero.
285
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:30,055
I'm awesome!
286
00:11:30,057 --> 00:11:32,323
I'm not awesome!
Look at me.
287
00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,693
Am I under a roof?
288
00:11:34,695 --> 00:11:36,561
Sheets!
289
00:11:38,498 --> 00:11:40,799
Steve, what did you do?
290
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,867
I went downstairs
to look for you!
291
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:46,504
I was in the bathroom.
I'd never go downstairs.
292
00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:48,873
I love my future self.
293
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:50,975
The clean one.
Sorry, dude.
294
00:11:50,977 --> 00:11:54,145
Look, I'm the one who gave up.
It's my bad.
295
00:11:54,147 --> 00:11:57,549
I...I didn't do
anything cool, I swear.
296
00:11:57,551 --> 00:11:59,517
You must've done something
cool in the bathroom.
297
00:11:59,519 --> 00:12:00,752
I assure you,
298
00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:03,221
what I did in the bathroom
was not cool.
299
00:12:03,223 --> 00:12:05,090
Steve, come downstairs
300
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:07,325
so we can keep making out
and breaking things.
301
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:08,727
(gasps)
302
00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,428
Lolo, bunny,
give us a second.
303
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:13,598
How could you do this
to us?!
304
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:16,601
I couldn't help myself!
It's Lolo Fuentes!
305
00:12:16,603 --> 00:12:18,903
Look, all we have to do
is go back in time
306
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,338
and undo what I just did.
307
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:21,873
How are you gonna do that?
308
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,541
With your
time machine.
309
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:26,678
Whoa, oh, oh!
I have a time machine?
310
00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:27,979
It's gone!
311
00:12:29,549 --> 00:12:31,182
Whoa, oh, oh, oh!
312
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,184
I don't have
a time machine.
313
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:35,220
Time for a 1-minute plank.
314
00:12:35,222 --> 00:12:37,555
1 banana, 2 banana,
315
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:39,090
3 banana...
316
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,195
(indistinct conversations)
317
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:46,564
Steve! You ruined
my future!
318
00:12:46,566 --> 00:12:48,566
N-Not necessarily.
319
00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:51,136
Maybe you're a bum
by choice, you know?
320
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:52,771
Get out of the rat race.
321
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:55,640
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm not doing a rat race again.
322
00:12:55,642 --> 00:12:58,777
They're fixed.
The rats know all the shortcuts.
323
00:12:58,779 --> 00:13:00,545
My rain boots.
324
00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:03,882
Look, Snot, our futures
clearly aren't set in stone.
325
00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:06,618
Let's just go downstairs
so you can do something cool.
326
00:13:06,620 --> 00:13:09,420
Then your future will be
awesome just like mine.
327
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:11,623
I guess it's worth a shot.
328
00:13:11,625 --> 00:13:14,392
Barry, who's training you
these days?
329
00:13:18,632 --> 00:13:20,398
(music playing,
indistinct conversations)
330
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,934
Steve's back!
Whoo, yeah!
331
00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:25,970
If I'm cool here,
you can be cool here, too.
332
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:29,641
There's Becky
standing all alone.
333
00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:32,744
Go bring her a drink.
Okay.
334
00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:35,914
Hey, Becky.
335
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:40,151
In this sea of losers,
you're the real standout.
336
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,620
We may be unincluded,
337
00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:45,023
but I'm including you
338
00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:48,426
in my masturbation
fantasies later.
339
00:13:49,596 --> 00:13:51,796
Soda?!
340
00:13:51,798 --> 00:13:53,965
(all gasp)
My shirt is ruined!
341
00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:55,967
This is the first party
I've ever been to,
342
00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:58,102
and it's ruined!
343
00:13:58,104 --> 00:14:01,105
Wah!
(grunting loudly)
344
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:02,807
(crying and grunting)
345
00:14:02,809 --> 00:14:04,342
Whoa.
Maybe there's a reason
346
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,444
some of these people
don't get invited to stuff.
347
00:14:06,446 --> 00:14:09,614
I blew it. I'm never talking
to a girl again.
348
00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:11,516
No way. That took guts.
349
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:14,552
Let's go upstairs and meet
the new and improved future you.
350
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:16,454
Hey, Steve.
351
00:14:17,991 --> 00:14:22,827
(both moaning)
352
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:24,462
Snot, I gotta tell you,
353
00:14:24,464 --> 00:14:26,764
she's a hell of a lot
better at this than you are.
354
00:14:28,568 --> 00:14:31,669
Hey!
Future me is even bigger.
355
00:14:31,671 --> 00:14:33,972
And he got a sweet new
deep v-neck hoodie.
356
00:14:33,974 --> 00:14:35,240
'Sup?
357
00:14:35,242 --> 00:14:36,841
Where's future me?
358
00:14:36,843 --> 00:14:38,877
Someone peed in there.
359
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,179
How did I become a convict?
360
00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:44,816
Long time ago, I spilled a drink
on this girl, Becky,
361
00:14:44,818 --> 00:14:46,718
and she screamed at me.
362
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:49,220
I vowed never to speak
to a woman again.
363
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,855
And I never did --
364
00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:53,558
not even the ones I ate.
365
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:55,026
Steve!
366
00:14:55,028 --> 00:14:56,661
Don't even worry about it.
367
00:14:56,663 --> 00:14:58,863
Sounds like all you have to do
is talk to a girl
368
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:01,733
in the near 20 years
and this guy? Poof, he's gone.
369
00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:04,035
You're right.
Let's do it now.
(girls giggling)
370
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:06,604
Do I hear girls downstairs?
371
00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:10,541
And if so, does
your basement have, like,
372
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:13,311
one of those drains
in the floor?
373
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:18,116
(indistinct conversations)
374
00:15:18,118 --> 00:15:19,951
There's some girls.
Talk to 'em.
375
00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:22,553
Hi.
376
00:15:22,555 --> 00:15:23,888
We're smokers.
377
00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:25,757
If you wanna talk to us,
you gotta smoke.
378
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:27,792
(inhales)
379
00:15:27,794 --> 00:15:30,929
(coughing loudly)
380
00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:33,531
Okay,
you talked to a girl.
381
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:37,769
Oh, my God!
I had a tracheotomy!
382
00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,304
(hoarse voice) Actually,
383
00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:42,941
my master said
I needed a new sex hole.
384
00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:46,611
This is hopeless!
385
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:49,647
No matter what we do,
future me is doomed.
386
00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:51,449
Wait a minute.
387
00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:53,418
We've been trying to make
you look cool,
388
00:15:53,420 --> 00:15:55,320
when everybody here
is a nerd.
389
00:15:55,322 --> 00:15:57,288
We need to play
to our audience.
390
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:59,223
Have you been practicing
your magic?
391
00:15:59,225 --> 00:16:01,125
Magic doesn't exist.
392
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,661
But illusions are real!
393
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:05,229
If you'd given me a heads up,
394
00:16:05,231 --> 00:16:06,898
I'd be holding flowers
right now.
395
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:10,101
¶¶
396
00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:12,337
My card's not in the deck.
397
00:16:12,339 --> 00:16:13,805
Oh, man, are you sure?
398
00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:15,473
I know what card I picked.
399
00:16:17,610 --> 00:16:20,144
Would you mind
cutting open that orange?
400
00:16:22,849 --> 00:16:24,115
(cheering)
401
00:16:24,117 --> 00:16:25,650
That's an amazing trick.
Let's go.
402
00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:27,318
Did that work?
403
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,821
(shrieking)
404
00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:31,122
(both scream)
405
00:16:31,124 --> 00:16:32,657
(continues shrieking)
406
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:40,531
Lady, you are about to
deeply regret
407
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:42,867
not telling me
you liked my order.
408
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:44,936
Sounds trivial
when I say it out loud,
409
00:16:44,938 --> 00:16:46,404
but I know in my heart,
it's not.
410
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,307
Need a job now.
411
00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:51,976
This is
an outstanding résumé.
412
00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:53,478
You start Monday.
413
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,513
No, I'm-a start right now.
414
00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:58,416
(groaning)
(thud)
415
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,354
Why didn't I open with that?
I knew I was gonna do it.
416
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:04,722
Good evening, may I --
417
00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,124
take your order?
(crashing)
418
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:07,959
I'll have the ricotta
and egg raviolo
419
00:17:07,961 --> 00:17:09,360
and the filet of sole.
420
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,062
That is a great order.
421
00:17:11,064 --> 00:17:13,364
A great order.
And you?
422
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,900
Tough order to follow.
Bed shitting potential is high.
423
00:17:15,902 --> 00:17:17,235
I'll have the same.
424
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:23,374
(indistinct conversations)
425
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,710
What is happening?!
426
00:17:25,712 --> 00:17:27,311
How did I get this way?
427
00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:30,715
(shrieking)
428
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:33,051
I can't even explain it
to us!
429
00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:34,986
Snot, relax.
430
00:17:34,988 --> 00:17:36,888
No matter what happens
to you in the future,
431
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,389
at least
we'll always be friends.
432
00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,758
Yeah, right.
Friends with a half turtle
433
00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,560
when there's full turtles
to be friends with?
434
00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:46,064
Steve, we haven't been friends
in any of these futures.
435
00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:48,599
You're right.
436
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:50,201
That's it!
437
00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:52,837
It's our friendship that
makes us so successful.
438
00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:55,540
What we've got to do is
guarantee that we'll be friends
439
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:58,176
no matter what
the future holds.
How?
440
00:17:58,178 --> 00:18:00,611
We gotta be outcasts again,
both of us.
441
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:03,514
Unincluded from even
the unincludeds.
442
00:18:03,516 --> 00:18:05,216
Sorry, ripped future me.
443
00:18:05,218 --> 00:18:07,118
Even though
you're super awesome,
444
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:09,587
I gotta do this
for my best friend.
445
00:18:10,957 --> 00:18:14,058
I guess I'm saying
goodbye to these.
446
00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:15,693
No matter what your future,
447
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:18,963
you can still commit yourself
to regular exercise --
448
00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:20,465
I said goodbye.
449
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:21,933
I'm scared.
450
00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:23,367
Don't be scared
of them.
451
00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:24,969
Be scared of them.
452
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:28,639
Let's do this.
453
00:18:28,641 --> 00:18:30,274
WHAM: ¶ Jitterbug ¶
454
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:32,276
¶¶
455
00:18:32,278 --> 00:18:34,278
¶ Jitterbug ¶
456
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:35,980
(all gasp)
¶ Jitterbug ¶
457
00:18:35,982 --> 00:18:38,416
Guys, you've been having
a good night.
458
00:18:38,418 --> 00:18:40,885
Not sure this is a smart move
for you, bros.
459
00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:42,987
¶ You put the boom boom
into my heart ¶
460
00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:45,323
¶ You send my soul sky high
when your lovin' starts ¶
461
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:47,492
It's working!
Let's take it home.
462
00:18:47,494 --> 00:18:49,293
¶ Jitterbug into my brain ¶
¶ Yeah, yeah ¶
463
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:52,130
¶ Goes a bang-bang-bang
till my feet do the same ¶
464
00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:55,433
¶ But something's bugging me,
something ain't right ¶
465
00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:58,336
¶ My best friend told me
what you did last night ¶
466
00:18:58,338 --> 00:19:00,071
This is horrible.
467
00:19:00,073 --> 00:19:02,440
Hold on.
This has potential.
468
00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:05,176
¶ But I should've been
with you instead ¶
469
00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:07,812
¶ Wake me up
before you go-go ¶
470
00:19:07,814 --> 00:19:10,648
¶ Don't leave me hanging on
like a yo-yo ¶
471
00:19:10,650 --> 00:19:13,484
¶ Wake me up before you go-go ¶
472
00:19:13,486 --> 00:19:15,586
Yeah, okay. Yeah.
473
00:19:15,588 --> 00:19:17,155
Yeah, it's awesome!
474
00:19:17,157 --> 00:19:19,123
Sorry I doubted you, bros!
475
00:19:19,125 --> 00:19:20,992
Oh, no.
476
00:19:20,994 --> 00:19:22,693
¶ ...on going solo ¶
477
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:25,296
Hey, who wants to Eiffel Tower
this turtle with me?
478
00:19:25,298 --> 00:19:26,531
What do we do?
479
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:28,866
We gotta take it
to the next level.
480
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:29,967
Look here.
481
00:19:29,969 --> 00:19:34,472
BOTH: 1...2...3...
482
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,374
¶ Hey, where'd you get
that body from? ¶
483
00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:38,709
¶ Where'd you get
that body from? ¶
484
00:19:39,546 --> 00:19:43,648
¶ I got it from my daddy,
I got it from my daddy ¶
485
00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:45,449
¶ I got it, got it ¶
¶ Hey ¶
486
00:19:45,451 --> 00:19:47,818
¶ Where'd you get
that body from? ¶
487
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:50,855
¶ I got it from my daddy,
I got it from my daddy ¶
488
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:52,790
¶ I got it, got it ¶
¶ Hey ¶
489
00:19:52,792 --> 00:19:55,159
¶ Where'd you get
that body from? ¶
490
00:19:55,161 --> 00:19:57,328
¶ I got it from my dad, dad,
dad-dad, dad ¶
491
00:19:57,330 --> 00:19:59,497
¶ Dad, dad, dad-dad, dad ¶
492
00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:01,299
¶ Dad, dad, dad-dad, dad ¶
493
00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:02,967
¶ Daddy, I got it from my ¶
494
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:04,902
¶ Dad, dad, dad-dad, dad ¶
495
00:20:04,904 --> 00:20:06,504
¶ Dad, dad, dad-dad, dad ¶
This is weird.
496
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:08,072
I'm going home to spend
the rest of high school
497
00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:10,708
with my father.
498
00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:12,677
¶ I'm on fire ¶
Started out really good,
but it sucks now.
499
00:20:12,679 --> 00:20:14,245
¶ Take you higher ¶
Those two are such losers.
500
00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:16,380
(indistinct grumbling)
501
00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:22,687
Start the car!
502
00:20:22,689 --> 00:20:24,355
Drive, drive!
(tires screech)
503
00:20:24,357 --> 00:20:26,424
Roger,
what happened in there?
We did it!
504
00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:29,360
Same as him?
Same as him, my ass!
505
00:20:29,362 --> 00:20:30,828
That's a bitch move!
506
00:20:30,830 --> 00:20:32,663
You knew exactly the game
we were playing!
507
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:36,033
(sobbing)
508
00:20:36,035 --> 00:20:40,671
(electricity hums,
glass shatters)
509
00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:45,676
Thank God we're back.
510
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:47,878
And everything's the same.
511
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,715
(electricity hums)
512
00:20:50,717 --> 00:20:52,783
Did one of you guys
just break a beaker?
513
00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:54,619
Why?
Does it change the future?
514
00:20:54,621 --> 00:20:56,520
No, but be careful!
515
00:20:56,522 --> 00:20:59,690
(electricity hums)
516
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:02,193
Stop yelling at the kids!
517
00:21:02,195 --> 00:21:04,161
Bye! Have a beautiful time!