1
00:00:02,269 --> 00:00:04,036
Announcer: It's game day!
2
00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:07,539
And the Rockville Gorilla Stars
are coming to the Sharks' Nest!
3
00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:08,874
A capacity crowd is expected
4
00:00:08,876 --> 00:00:10,776
for the first
Bazooka Sharks game
5
00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:13,012
since quarterback
Johnny Concussion's death.
6
00:00:13,014 --> 00:00:16,115
Johnny's ashes and carbonized
bone chunks will be on display
7
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:17,649
in a football-shaped urn,
8
00:00:17,651 --> 00:00:20,686
which should be a real treat
for the kiddies!
9
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:23,288
Hey, bud.
Got a little kink in your line.
10
00:00:23,290 --> 00:00:24,957
It's okay.
No one's perfect.
11
00:00:24,959 --> 00:00:26,892
Except everyone
who works for me!
12
00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:28,127
You're fired!
13
00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:30,863
I want you to crank the pressure
on these tanks.
14
00:00:30,865 --> 00:00:33,298
People want to see
their juice drink
15
00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:35,701
really hit the walls
and cascade around.
16
00:00:35,703 --> 00:00:39,405
These foam fingers are heavier
than they usually are.
17
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:42,241
And you're not
the usual delivery guy.
18
00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:45,411
There's usually one of you,
not eight.
19
00:00:45,413 --> 00:00:47,746
And you
all have ponytails.
20
00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:51,383
I hate ponytails.
I am not signing --
21
00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:57,189
It's gonna be a hell of a game.
22
00:00:57,191 --> 00:01:00,692
[ Horns honking ]
23
00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:04,229
Rockin' Ronnie:
It's gonna be a hell of a game!
24
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:08,934
People are saying it's...
gonna be a hell of a game.
25
00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:10,569
I heard that.
26
00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:13,038
When I, uh, got
these tickets from work,
27
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:16,442
I was surprised you were down
to take the other one.
28
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When I said yes,
I thought you had four,
29
00:01:18,245 --> 00:01:21,280
so Mom and Steve could kind of
keep the conversation going.
30
00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:23,048
You know what?
This will be great.
31
00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:24,450
Just us.
32
00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:27,252
And now, Rockin' Ronnie's
gonna rest his voice
33
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:28,754
till the game starts.
34
00:01:28,756 --> 00:01:30,622
[ Sighs ]
35
00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:33,025
[ Dramatic music plays ]
36
00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:43,435
[ Crowd cheering ]
37
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Look at all the people.
Good crowd.
38
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Popular place.
39
00:01:50,311 --> 00:01:53,145
Well, I'm gonna pop out
and get us some Zooka Dogs.
40
00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:54,446
Hey, you could stay here.
41
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,582
Hot hot dogs --
right at your seat!
42
00:01:56,584 --> 00:01:57,883
No need to walk around.
43
00:01:57,885 --> 00:02:00,252
But this guy
doesn't have any beers.
44
00:02:00,254 --> 00:02:01,620
I got two extra beers.
45
00:02:01,622 --> 00:02:03,489
You'd be doing me a favor
if you took them.
46
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:05,257
It's very rude
to eavesdrop.
47
00:02:05,259 --> 00:02:08,594
Before the game, a reminder
that all noise makers,
48
00:02:08,596 --> 00:02:13,065
vuvuzelas, and air horns
are strictly encouraged!
49
00:02:13,067 --> 00:02:14,500
[ Horns blaring ]
50
00:02:14,502 --> 00:02:16,969
Never let the decibels drop!
51
00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:19,171
Except at halftime, when,
in memory of Johnny Concussion,
52
00:02:19,173 --> 00:02:21,140
there will be a respectful
moment of silence.
53
00:02:21,142 --> 00:02:24,343
A moment
of bone-crushing silence,
54
00:02:24,345 --> 00:02:26,612
presented by Baby Bel Cheese!
55
00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:28,947
So, when's the game start?
56
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:31,583
Kickoff's in 15 minutes --
which sounds like a lot,
57
00:02:31,585 --> 00:02:33,018
but if we
just break it down
58
00:02:33,020 --> 00:02:35,854
into 900 easy-to-digest
one-second chunks...
59
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:37,923
You know what?
I need something
60
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:39,691
I can only get in
the concourse -- a key chain!
61
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:41,293
Here you go, mister.
Take mine.
62
00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:41,894
Leave me alone!
63
00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:50,269
Smartest move I ever made,
buying the Bazooka Sharks.
64
00:02:50,271 --> 00:02:51,703
All these fools are
65
00:02:51,705 --> 00:02:55,274
literally paying
to sit in this building.
66
00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:56,542
They're idiots!
67
00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:58,977
We are supposed
to eat these, right?
68
00:02:58,979 --> 00:02:59,878
I believe so, yes.
69
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,813
Excuse me.
Cutting in front.
70
00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:03,782
It's okay,
I'm a hired escort.
71
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:05,551
Hmm.
Don't be so shocked.
72
00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:06,718
All the girls are escorts.
73
00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,453
What, you think hot girls
like us
74
00:03:08,455 --> 00:03:10,222
would hang out
with toads like you?
75
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:11,323
Ha! Dream on!
76
00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:12,724
What's your name,
darling?
77
00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:15,360
Tawny Luxardo -- one of
the escorts you hired...
78
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,495
to have sex for money.
79
00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:17,963
Listen,
I got V.I.P.s here.
80
00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:20,065
Stop telling everyone
you're an escort.
81
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:21,967
Gotcha.
Low-key, I'm all over it.
82
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:24,169
I'll circulate,
but give me the signal --
83
00:03:24,171 --> 00:03:27,406
two taps on the nose and I'll
come running to suck you off.
84
00:03:27,408 --> 00:03:29,074
Did you just do it?
I blinked.
85
00:03:29,076 --> 00:03:30,242
[ Groans ]
86
00:03:30,244 --> 00:03:31,743
[ Knock on door ]
87
00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:36,515
It's the luxury box
dessert cart!
88
00:03:36,517 --> 00:03:37,916
-All right!
-Well done!
89
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:39,885
I want the biggest
chocolate cake!
90
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:42,421
Gotta watch my figure, though.
I'm a hooker.
91
00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:44,590
Say, aren't you fellas
a little early?
92
00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:46,425
[ All gasp ]
93
00:03:46,427 --> 00:03:49,661
Oh, I'd say we're right on time.
94
00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:52,097
Huddle up, team.
95
00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:54,866
I'm the quarterback
and here's the play.
96
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:57,736
We get the combination to the
safe, and then we disappear.
97
00:03:57,738 --> 00:03:59,605
No one gets hurt
and everybody wins.
98
00:03:59,607 --> 00:04:01,273
It will be a real touchdown.
99
00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:04,610
I'm Cyrus Mooney, boy.
I don't negotiate with --
100
00:04:04,612 --> 00:04:05,911
[ Silenced gunshot ]
101
00:04:05,913 --> 00:04:07,613
-[ Gasps ]
-Oh, my God!
102
00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:10,382
I was just talking to him!
-Cyrus fumbled.
103
00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:11,950
Now, while we crack the safe,
104
00:04:11,952 --> 00:04:14,720
my men are putting bombs
around the arena.
105
00:04:14,722 --> 00:04:17,289
So if anyone tries
to call an audible
106
00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:20,859
and contact someone outside
this room, kablooey.
107
00:04:20,861 --> 00:04:22,427
-My God!
-We're gonna die!
108
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:24,930
Oh, of course -- right after
I do a huge Costco run.
109
00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:27,099
Bury me with all my almonds.
110
00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:36,141
Okay, okay, but how many napkins
do you go through in a day?
111
00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:38,910
Look, buddy, it seems like
you're avoiding something
112
00:04:38,912 --> 00:04:41,213
or someone by asking me
ridiculous questions.
113
00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:43,982
It's not ridiculous to ask how
many pepperoni slices
114
00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,651
go on
a personal pan pizza.
115
00:04:45,653 --> 00:04:47,119
And I told you,
it's four.
116
00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:50,055
And I told you
I saw five once.
117
00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:52,791
Avoiding someone.
The nerve!
118
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:55,427
[ Gasps ]
It's Dwight the Great White!
119
00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:57,462
Dwight,
do the Shark Shuffle!
120
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:59,031
The Shark Shuffle,
Great Dwight.
121
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:04,670
[ Door closes ]
122
00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:06,805
How hard is it
to do this?
123
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:11,677
Is that a bomb,
Great Dwight?
124
00:05:11,679 --> 00:05:13,679
[ Grunts ]
125
00:05:14,682 --> 00:05:16,014
[ Gasps ]
126
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,617
You're not the Asian woman
who plays Great Dwight!
127
00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:20,419
What have you done
with Lee Tran?
128
00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:22,754
[ Grunting ]
129
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:31,797
¶ And the rocket's red glare ¶
130
00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:35,334
¶ The bombs bursting
up the air ¶
131
00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:36,635
Where's Dad?
132
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:39,438
He loves Sky Crooner...
for some reason.
133
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:41,606
[ Grunting ]
134
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:42,874
[ Steam hisses ]
135
00:05:42,876 --> 00:05:46,845
-[ Screams ]
-Yes! Enjoy the facial.
136
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:50,015
Wow.
That is really hot steam.
137
00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:52,617
Terrorist: Hans,
what's taking so long?
138
00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:54,052
Hans?!
139
00:05:54,054 --> 00:05:56,555
I was bragging to everyone
about how fast you were.
140
00:05:56,557 --> 00:05:58,757
Nobody's faster than Hans,
I said.
141
00:06:04,531 --> 00:06:05,931
Dad?
142
00:06:07,534 --> 00:06:10,068
Lee Tran's dead?!
143
00:06:10,070 --> 00:06:13,071
And you guys must be,
fingers crossed, her husbands,
144
00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:14,539
looking to avenge
her death...
145
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:16,041
with their
new friend Hayley?
146
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:21,513
Terrorist: Hans, why aren't you
responding, Hans?
147
00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:22,814
Hans, are you mad at me?
148
00:06:22,816 --> 00:06:25,550
Yeah, he's real steamed.
149
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,152
What?!
Who is this?!
150
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:28,920
Your worst nightmare,
bad guy.
151
00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:31,423
Foiling your plans will
be the perfect distraction
152
00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:34,159
from having awkward conversation
with my daughter.
153
00:06:34,161 --> 00:06:35,994
God, why is it so --
-Hello!
154
00:06:35,996 --> 00:06:38,063
You have to hold
the button down.
155
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:39,765
You can't just push it once.
156
00:06:39,767 --> 00:06:41,266
Get your hands off me!
157
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:43,268
-They have Hayley!
-Put her with the others!
158
00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:46,071
Roger: Hayley, welcome
to the luxury box, girl!
159
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:47,439
Grab a glass of sparkling wine
160
00:06:47,441 --> 00:06:50,075
and come hang with me
by the owner's brains.
161
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:57,949
The terrorists have Hayley
in the owner's box.
162
00:06:57,951 --> 00:07:00,118
How did Francine
not see this coming?
163
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,387
"Stan, you should take Hayley
to the game.
164
00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:05,123
It'll be nice, eat some nachos,
have some laughs."
165
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,625
"Francine, it'll be awkward."
166
00:07:06,627 --> 00:07:09,861
"Stan, what could go wrong
at a Bazooka Sharks game?"
167
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:11,863
"Hey, Mom,
where's the applesauce?"
168
00:07:11,865 --> 00:07:13,265
"In the fridge, Steve."
169
00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:15,567
[ Echoing ] "I only see
watery-ass Kroger.
170
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:17,102
Where's the Mott's?"
171
00:07:17,104 --> 00:07:19,404
"They taste the same."
"Have you lost your mind?!"
172
00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:21,273
So we've got ourselves a hero.
173
00:07:21,275 --> 00:07:23,809
The bomb in the rafters
is armed.
174
00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:25,377
Excellent.
175
00:07:25,379 --> 00:07:26,411
Hey, baddie, guess what?
176
00:07:26,413 --> 00:07:27,746
What?
177
00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:30,315
Chicken butt.
I'm in your head now, son.
178
00:07:30,317 --> 00:07:33,618
Team, switch walkies
to back-up channel.
179
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,321
Hey, gang, it's me --
one of the gang.
180
00:07:36,323 --> 00:07:40,125
Looks like I forgot the back-up
channel -- again!
181
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:42,894
Dad's gonna come here,
but I have to warn him
182
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:45,163
about the other bombs
first. How?
183
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:46,331
[ Knock on door ]
184
00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:47,399
Man: Dessert cart.
185
00:07:47,401 --> 00:07:49,501
-Ooh, dessert!
-Real dessert cart!
186
00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:50,969
Mmm, sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet!
187
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,904
Nobody get cute
and try anything,
188
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:56,074
because we're definitely
letting the dessert cart in.
189
00:08:03,317 --> 00:08:04,516
[ All munching ]
190
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:07,118
I need you to get this message
to Stan Smith.
191
00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:09,354
He's in the arena,
but I don't know where.
192
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:11,623
All the food venders
here are very connected.
193
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:12,858
We'll find him.
194
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,659
We're kind of like
a family.
195
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:15,994
I can't be seen talking --
196
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,696
We get drinks after work
all the time.
197
00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:18,964
Please go.
198
00:08:18,966 --> 00:08:20,932
Almost all of us
drive pickup trucks.
199
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:23,301
I've never even thought
about hiring a mover.
200
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:26,171
I got Cracker Jacks!
I got peanuts.
201
00:08:26,173 --> 00:08:29,207
I got a secret message
for Stan Smith!
202
00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:32,277
I got a secret message
for Stan Smith!
203
00:08:32,279 --> 00:08:35,380
I got big, spicy pickles
in bags!
204
00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:37,549
I'm Stan Smith,
the man in the vents.
205
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:39,050
Your daughter says
she's fine
206
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:41,119
and go to the rafters
to defuse a bomb.
207
00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:43,288
So Hayley's communicating
with me.
208
00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:45,991
Why is that so hard for us
to do in person?
209
00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:48,226
[ Sighs ]
You got a daughter, buddy?
210
00:08:48,228 --> 00:08:49,861
-I used to.
-Whatever.
211
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,530
I gotta get
to the rafters.
212
00:08:51,532 --> 00:08:54,733
So, real quick, give me
a Zooka Dog, Chicago style.
213
00:08:54,735 --> 00:08:56,401
Pile the onions up high
like I like.
214
00:08:56,403 --> 00:08:58,503
And more mustard.
More mu-- there you go.
215
00:08:58,505 --> 00:09:00,805
Another fistful of onions.
Perfect, perfect.
216
00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:02,474
Now push it
through the vent.
217
00:09:04,478 --> 00:09:10,815
¶ And that's how you sing the
end of the first quarter song ¶
218
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:14,319
Yeah, yeah!
219
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:15,921
Sky Crooner!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
220
00:09:15,923 --> 00:09:17,422
Don't be scared,
don't be scared.
221
00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:19,324
My name is Stan,
and I need your help.
222
00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:21,359
No one knows the rafters
better than you.
223
00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:23,495
Have you noticed
anything suspicious?
224
00:09:23,497 --> 00:09:25,397
That blinky thing is new.
225
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:26,932
[ Beeping ]
226
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,433
I'm gonna defuse
that bomb,
227
00:09:28,435 --> 00:09:31,436
and I need you to shoot
anyone who tries to stop me.
228
00:09:31,438 --> 00:09:33,004
Is there a bad man?
229
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:35,273
You got that right,
Sky Crooner.
230
00:09:37,711 --> 00:09:40,111
Sky Crooner:
Stan, I can't kill!
231
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,247
¶ Life is sacred! ¶
232
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:45,517
¶ And it begins at conception! ¶
233
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:49,421
You know, someone went
to a lot of trouble
234
00:09:49,423 --> 00:09:50,855
to put that bomb there.
235
00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:53,458
I do want us to have
a fist fight on this girder.
236
00:09:53,460 --> 00:09:54,559
It will look hella cool.
237
00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:57,295
Just promise me one thing.
-Anything.
238
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,297
Don't look down.
239
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:04,202
-Whoa, whoa, whoa!
-Ha ha!
240
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:05,870
Works every --
Whoa, whoa!
241
00:10:05,872 --> 00:10:08,573
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
-Whoa, whoa, whoa!
242
00:10:08,575 --> 00:10:10,642
[ Screams ]
243
00:10:10,644 --> 00:10:12,310
[ Screams ]
244
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:13,378
[ Whistle blows ]
245
00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:16,147
Too many men on the field.
10 yards.
246
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:19,718
Not getting up? Delay of game.
Another 5 yards.
247
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,152
Still not getting up.
248
00:10:21,154 --> 00:10:22,988
Unsportsmanlike conduct.
249
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:24,322
Another 15 yards.
250
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:26,658
Had enough?
I can go all day.
251
00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:30,128
Terrorist: Strannix?
Strannix? You there?
252
00:10:30,130 --> 00:10:32,130
Damn it!
He got him!
253
00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,332
How does he keep finding us?
254
00:10:34,334 --> 00:10:36,601
Maybe he's spotting
our ponytails.
255
00:10:36,603 --> 00:10:37,836
Team, switch to braids.
256
00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:39,437
Still,
the clock is ticking,
257
00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:41,840
and he'll never track down
all the bombs
258
00:10:41,842 --> 00:10:43,174
before we crack the safe.
259
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:45,910
[ Laughs ]
Ouch, too tight!
260
00:10:45,912 --> 00:10:47,245
[ Laughs ]
261
00:10:50,851 --> 00:10:52,083
I need to figure out a way
262
00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:53,652
to get the bomb locations
to Dad.
263
00:10:53,654 --> 00:10:56,321
And I need to prank
the stadium announcer
264
00:10:56,323 --> 00:10:59,090
with these raisins
I picked out of a scone.
265
00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:01,526
So we both have something,
Hayley. Equal.
266
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:06,031
Present today's ticket to save
5% at Sculpa Family Car Wash.
267
00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:07,666
Sculpa Family Car Wash.
268
00:11:07,668 --> 00:11:10,602
They found out which towel guy
was the thief!
269
00:11:10,604 --> 00:11:12,771
Big flies today
at the Sharks' Nest.
270
00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:15,840
They're not biting,
but they are landing heavily.
271
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,509
[ Laughs ]
272
00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:19,144
Roger, you're a genius.
273
00:11:19,146 --> 00:11:21,246
I got those big brains.
274
00:11:22,616 --> 00:11:25,150
My producer doesn't normally
write my announcements
275
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:27,052
on napkins and drop them
from the sky.
276
00:11:27,054 --> 00:11:29,354
"Don't ask questions."
277
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,722
Okey-doke.
278
00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:34,225
Attention, Shark fans,
a message here from a Hayley,
279
00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:36,961
who wants her dad to keep going.
280
00:11:36,963 --> 00:11:38,163
That's sweet.
281
00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:39,798
Also, the loge men's room
is closed
282
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,967
due to someone leaving a huge
bomb in one of the toilets.
283
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:46,071
That's disgusting.
284
00:11:46,073 --> 00:11:48,573
Another announcement
just fluttered in.
285
00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:51,643
To the owner of the car
with license plate "DABOMB,"
286
00:11:51,645 --> 00:11:55,280
you are illegally parked
in the Shark's locker room?
287
00:11:58,485 --> 00:12:00,485
[ Grunting ]
288
00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:08,593
Another message --
289
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:10,762
"It's on the visitor's
goalpost" --
290
00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:12,063
whatever that means.
291
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:14,666
Oh, now I'm being a note
by John, the P.A.
292
00:12:14,668 --> 00:12:17,102
This is how I typically
get messages.
293
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:19,003
It says I've been fired.
294
00:12:19,005 --> 00:12:20,572
Oh. I see.
295
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:24,342
I'll just gather up
40 years of things.
296
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:26,111
The bomb is on the goalpost.
297
00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:28,780
How am I supposed to get
on the field?
298
00:12:28,782 --> 00:12:29,881
Hey, champ.
299
00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:32,016
Forgot my lucky steroids.
300
00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:34,018
You're the quarterback!
301
00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:37,055
Hey, it's me, guys,
the quarterback.
302
00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:39,591
Get in there,
Ignatowski!
303
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:43,061
You guys are enormous.
304
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:45,530
What's the play,
Ignatowski?
305
00:12:47,567 --> 00:12:49,667
[ Beeping ]
306
00:12:50,804 --> 00:12:53,138
We're gonna drive all the way
down the field
307
00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:54,372
and get to that goalpost.
308
00:12:54,374 --> 00:12:56,808
Yeah, no shit.
What's the play?
309
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:59,077
Uh...
flea-flicker.
310
00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:00,545
Announcer: A flea-flicker --
311
00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:02,814
the most worn-out trick play
there is --
312
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:05,416
somehow picks up 20 yards
for the Sharks.
313
00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:07,585
How happy are we
Dad only had two tickets?
314
00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:09,621
The game's so much better
on TV anyway.
315
00:13:09,623 --> 00:13:11,656
-[ Gasps ] Who said that?!
-[ Panting ]
316
00:13:11,658 --> 00:13:14,492
I can't believe that worked.
Now what?
317
00:13:14,494 --> 00:13:17,162
Another flea-flicker,
no question.
318
00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:18,797
Another flea-flicker.
319
00:13:18,799 --> 00:13:20,298
Puerile, yet effective.
320
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:23,134
-[ Gasping ]
-Is that you gasping, Steve?
321
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:25,503
Enough with all
the gasping, Steve.
322
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:28,506
The Gorilla Stars finally wise
up to the flea-flickers,
323
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:31,142
forcing the Sharks
to settle for a field goal.
324
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,178
The hell we will.
325
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:35,513
¶¶
326
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:39,317
Touchdown!
327
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:42,620
Ignatowski enjoys
a well-deserved dance.
328
00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:43,822
What's this?!
329
00:13:43,824 --> 00:13:45,623
Now he's shinnying up
the goalpost
330
00:13:45,625 --> 00:13:47,926
like a burlesque dancer,
shocking the crowd
331
00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:51,830
with a sensual celebratory
acrobatics display.
332
00:13:51,832 --> 00:13:54,666
What a disgrace.
333
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:55,867
[ Beeping ]
334
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:57,869
You did it, Dad!
335
00:13:57,871 --> 00:13:59,304
Dad?
336
00:13:59,306 --> 00:14:02,140
Ignatowski,
your walkie-talkie's
337
00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:03,942
crackling like crazy!
338
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:05,210
Shello.
339
00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:07,111
Terrorist:
Nice play, Daddy.
340
00:14:07,113 --> 00:14:09,380
That was the last
of my little bombs.
341
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:10,548
You almost beat me.
342
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:13,151
But then I realized
I had the key
343
00:14:13,153 --> 00:14:15,386
to stopping you
the whole time.
344
00:14:15,388 --> 00:14:17,488
-A poison sandwich.
-What?
345
00:14:17,490 --> 00:14:19,224
No,
I have your daughter.
346
00:14:19,226 --> 00:14:21,226
Hayley: Dad.
347
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:22,727
[ Grunts ]
348
00:14:22,729 --> 00:14:24,062
Dad, I'm so sorry.
349
00:14:24,064 --> 00:14:26,464
We'll get out of this.
350
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:30,735
So, um...
that, uh...
351
00:14:30,737 --> 00:14:33,738
Miley Cyrus is pretty
outrageous, isn't she?
352
00:14:33,740 --> 00:14:35,740
Stop this
terrible conversation!
353
00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:37,208
[ Grunts ]
354
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,546
[ Crowd cheering ]
355
00:14:41,548 --> 00:14:44,015
You're a wild card,
I'll grant you that.
356
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:47,919
The thing is, the wild-card team
rarely wins the Super Bowl.
357
00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:50,054
It's happened,
like, six times.
358
00:14:50,056 --> 00:14:51,890
Then I'd say
that's pretty rare.
359
00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:53,424
That's like 12% of the time.
360
00:14:53,426 --> 00:14:55,760
In your mind, that's rare?
I don't get you, buddy.
361
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:58,396
You don't have to.
You'll be dead soon.
362
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,832
Not before
we'll all be dead soon.
363
00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:02,700
Recognize these?
364
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:04,068
[ All gasp ]
365
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:06,170
Ah, yes -- my fake bombs.
366
00:15:06,172 --> 00:15:07,605
What?
367
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:09,374
Cream cheese.
368
00:15:09,376 --> 00:15:11,109
Roger:
There's cream cheese?!
369
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:13,177
I've been eating
dry bagels!
370
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,213
We're in!
371
00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:19,517
You see, the fake bombs were
simply a diversion to buy time.
372
00:15:19,519 --> 00:15:21,920
Time we needed to get this.
373
00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:23,855
Johnny Concussion's jersey
374
00:15:23,857 --> 00:15:27,058
from the last game
he ever played.
375
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:28,726
Of course!
You can turn around
376
00:15:28,728 --> 00:15:31,129
and sell it to Steve Wynn
for a fortune.
377
00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:33,131
The perfect crime.
378
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:35,133
Oh, I won't be selling it.
379
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:36,401
You son of a bitch!
380
00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:38,069
Steve Wynn's
gonna be heartbroken!
381
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:39,137
I'll be wearing it!
382
00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:40,438
You son of a bitch!
383
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,307
Only Johnny Concussion
can wear that!
384
00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:46,077
I couldn't agree
with you more.
385
00:15:46,079 --> 00:15:47,745
Johnny Concussion?
386
00:15:47,747 --> 00:15:50,481
The owner
kicked me off the team
387
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:53,084
because of
all my brain booms.
388
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:54,619
Didn't he sound
smarter before?
389
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:58,756
Ha! I was only pretending
to be a genius.
390
00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:00,224
Here come more surprise.
391
00:16:00,226 --> 00:16:02,427
Johnny's got
a buddadda-duddadda.
392
00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:05,363
Ultimate frisbee!
393
00:16:09,235 --> 00:16:12,270
Johnny go bye-bye!
394
00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:14,539
Ultimate frisbee!
395
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:20,645
[ Crying ] Oh, God!
We almost died!
396
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:23,114
I thought it was curtains
for old Tawny!
397
00:16:23,116 --> 00:16:25,917
I realize now
life is precious!
398
00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:27,185
I want a baby!
399
00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:30,355
Who wants to give
old Tawny a baby?!
400
00:16:31,257 --> 00:16:33,458
[ Whirring ]
401
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:37,028
Who wants to support
old Tawny and her baby
402
00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:39,464
for the rest
of their lives?!
403
00:16:39,466 --> 00:16:41,933
[ Dramatic music plays ]
404
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:46,971
Get away from Johnny!
405
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:48,539
Wow!
I caught a pass
406
00:16:48,541 --> 00:16:51,642
from beloved football hero
Johnny Concussion!
407
00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:54,212
Right in the numbers --
incredible!
408
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:55,713
I'm gonna go long this time,
Johnny!
409
00:16:55,715 --> 00:16:57,015
Dad, no!
410
00:17:02,956 --> 00:17:04,389
Johnny, why?!
411
00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:06,457
Why did you commit
the crime of the century?
412
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:08,893
What about your fans?!
-Fans?
413
00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:10,561
The same fans who cheered
414
00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:12,964
as I banged my head
into madness?
415
00:17:12,966 --> 00:17:16,901
Well, soon they'll see
just how mad I can be!
416
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:19,804
They'll be blown away!
417
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:23,708
[ Gasps ]
My fly fly!
418
00:17:30,717 --> 00:17:32,717
Oh, come on!
419
00:17:36,423 --> 00:17:37,989
We did it!
420
00:17:37,991 --> 00:17:40,224
Now for our special
halftime presentation,
421
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:43,594
Johnny Concussion's ashes
will be brought out
422
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:46,264
for our memorial
moment of silence!
423
00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:49,100
Wait.
Johnny's not in that urn.
424
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:51,402
"Blown away"!
425
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:52,870
The urn's a bomb.
A real one!
426
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:54,672
He is gonna blow up
the stadium.
427
00:17:54,674 --> 00:17:56,074
We'll never get
down there in time!
428
00:17:56,076 --> 00:17:57,375
[ Falsetto singing ]
429
00:17:57,377 --> 00:17:58,576
Wait!
Do you hear that?
430
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:01,245
¶ I'll take you,
Stan! ¶
431
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:02,947
Do you trust me?
432
00:18:02,949 --> 00:18:08,419
¶ I do ¶
433
00:18:08,421 --> 00:18:10,488
Let's do this.
434
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:14,192
[ Crowd booing ]
This ain't cream cheese.
435
00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:16,094
[ Booing gets louder ]
436
00:18:16,096 --> 00:18:17,795
Ladies and gentlemen,
437
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:20,898
let's put your lips together
for our moment of silence!
438
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:23,401
It's gonna go off
when the meter reaches zero.
439
00:18:23,403 --> 00:18:25,236
We can't let the crowd
get quiet.
440
00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:26,771
Come on,
make some noise!
441
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:28,439
Johnny Concussion
was a bad guy!
442
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:29,907
I said it!
443
00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:32,410
Now yell at me nonstop
for, like, two minutes!
444
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:35,379
-You no good --
-Avery.
445
00:18:38,451 --> 00:18:40,251
No, no, no!
446
00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:43,321
Say stuff --
thoughts and words!
447
00:18:43,323 --> 00:18:45,123
[ Squawking ]
448
00:18:45,125 --> 00:18:47,058
Um, uh!
449
00:18:47,060 --> 00:18:49,660
Ben is one of the all-time
greatest bachelors.
450
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:51,929
He's on the Mount Rushmore
of Bachelor Nation.
451
00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:54,398
And in the produce section,
you'll find onion,
452
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,567
banana, blueberry,
strawberry, Halle Berry.
453
00:18:56,569 --> 00:18:58,503
Oh, oh, Halle Berry,
Phylicia Rashad,
454
00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:01,005
Esther Rolle, Mo'Nique,
Viola Davis, Gabrielle Union,
455
00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:03,608
Jurnee Smollett-Bell,
Regina King, Ruby Dandridge,
456
00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:05,176
Ruby Dee, Tia Mowry,
Tamera Mowry,
457
00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:08,012
the mom from "Family Matters"
who never anticipated Urkel.
458
00:19:08,014 --> 00:19:10,014
Urkel, Urkel, Urkel!
Urkel, Urkel, Urkel!
459
00:19:10,016 --> 00:19:11,182
Urkel, Urkel!
460
00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:13,284
Oh, my first sexual dream
was about Urkel!
461
00:19:13,286 --> 00:19:14,352
Sorry, Dad!
462
00:19:14,354 --> 00:19:15,520
Cookie Crisp!
463
00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:16,754
¶ A-B-C-D-E-F-G ¶
464
00:19:16,756 --> 00:19:18,422
¶ H-I-J-K
Elemeno-P ¶
465
00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:19,524
¶ Q-R-S -- ¶
-[ Chuckles ]
466
00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:20,858
Dad, stay with me!
467
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:22,426
We've gotta talk
for another 90 seconds.
468
00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:23,995
I know, it's just --
it's just elemeno --
469
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:25,863
that reminds me of
when you were little
470
00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:27,431
and you thought elemeno
was one letter.
471
00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:28,699
I remember that!
472
00:19:28,701 --> 00:19:30,168
And when I told you
it was four letters,
473
00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:32,170
you thought I was the smartest
man in the world.
474
00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:34,438
It's been a long time since
you thought that about me.
475
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,040
Angela Bassett,
Cicely Tyson.
476
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:37,708
What are you talking about?
I still think you're smart!
477
00:19:37,710 --> 00:19:39,043
¶ When it's late at night ¶
478
00:19:39,045 --> 00:19:40,645
¶ And you want
a tasty bite ¶
479
00:19:40,647 --> 00:19:41,979
¶ What are you gonna pick?
Hot Pockets ¶
480
00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:43,848
I don't always feel smart,
but I'm your dad.
481
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,550
So when we talk,
I feel pressure,
482
00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:47,652
like I'm still supposed to be
teaching you stuff.
483
00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:49,554
But everything got more
complicated after "elemeno."
484
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:50,855
And I want to help you,
485
00:19:50,857 --> 00:19:52,557
but I'm afraid
I'm getting it wrong --
486
00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:54,025
or worse, you're gonna think
I'm an idiot.
487
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:55,059
Stacey Dash!
488
00:19:55,061 --> 00:19:56,561
Can't believe I almost
forgot the Dash.
489
00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:57,895
You're not an idiot, Dad.
490
00:19:57,897 --> 00:19:59,463
I thought it was my fault
we didn't talk.
491
00:19:59,465 --> 00:20:00,565
I always worry
you won't be interested
492
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:01,966
in what I have to say.
493
00:20:01,968 --> 00:20:03,568
I mean, you travel
the world as a spy,
494
00:20:03,570 --> 00:20:05,836
and I live in my childhood
bedroom with my husband.
495
00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:07,705
Uh! Hattie McDaniel,
Cicely Tyson.
496
00:20:07,707 --> 00:20:09,240
I already said
Cicely Tyson.
497
00:20:09,242 --> 00:20:10,374
Then Kerry Washington!
498
00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:11,709
If we stop
blaming ourselves,
499
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,177
we'll have lots
to talk about.
500
00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:15,079
Our shared passion
for black actresses
501
00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:17,515
and not blowing up,
and who needs a third thing?
502
00:20:17,517 --> 00:20:19,584
And when it gets quiet
between us,
503
00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:21,886
it doesn't mean
it's somebody's fault.
504
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:24,755
Right. It's not gonna kill us
to sit in silence.
505
00:20:24,757 --> 00:20:28,259
Both: Elemeno, elemeno,
Pam Grier!
506
00:20:28,261 --> 00:20:30,161
[ Buzzer sounds ]
507
00:20:30,163 --> 00:20:33,231
This concludes Baby Bel's
moment of silence.
508
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:36,234
Baby Bel,
cheese for your purse.
509
00:20:36,236 --> 00:20:38,002
[ Crowd booing ]
510
00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:41,606
It's Lee Tran!
511
00:20:44,043 --> 00:20:45,076
She's okay!
512
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:48,246
I think we're all
gonna be okay.
513
00:20:57,457 --> 00:21:01,192
Johnny Concussion
always gets up.
514
00:21:02,195 --> 00:21:03,928
Bye! Have a great time!