1
00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:07,973
Aren't you nervous to find out
what you got
2
00:00:07,975 --> 00:00:09,308
on the history midterm?
3
00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:11,543
(chuckles)
I'm nervous about the time
4
00:00:11,545 --> 00:00:13,712
that Cap'n Crunch box
turned me on.
5
00:00:13,714 --> 00:00:16,815
I know
I aced the midterm.
6
00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:18,851
I got a smiley.
7
00:00:21,622 --> 00:00:23,355
Ah, there she is.
8
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:24,790
Gather 'round, boys.
9
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:29,128
You're about to see
my 4.0 face.
10
00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:32,031
(breathing rapidly)
11
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:37,169
Are...you...okay...
Steve?
12
00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:41,907
You...don't...look...
so...hot.
13
00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:43,809
Why are you talking
like that?
14
00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:47,212
Too...much...Zoloft.
15
00:00:47,214 --> 00:00:50,749
And I'm still
so...sad.
16
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:54,486
M-Mr. Herschel, I-I think
there's been a mistake.
17
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:56,989
You put an "F" here
on my test
18
00:00:56,991 --> 00:01:00,192
but forgot to add
"antastic job, A-plus."
19
00:01:00,194 --> 00:01:02,261
I was just as surprised
as you, Steve.
20
00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:04,363
You're usually
a big old nerd.
21
00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:06,365
Wait! I see
what happened here.
22
00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:09,101
I was one question off
on the Scantron sheet.
23
00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:11,937
See? Here, I-I'll just take it
again real quick and we --
24
00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:14,907
Look, this vape pen isn't gonna
smoke itself behind the gym.
25
00:01:14,909 --> 00:01:16,775
The "F" stands.
26
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:20,579
F, F, F, F, F, F.
F! F!
27
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,084
Aaaaaaah!
28
00:01:25,086 --> 00:01:26,718
Aaaaaaaaah!
29
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:29,121
Don't worry.
Barry know what to do.
30
00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:30,989
(screaming continues)
31
00:01:33,961 --> 00:01:35,427
(gulps)
32
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:40,232
Now...it's just
gonna take me longer...
33
00:01:40,234 --> 00:01:43,135
to finish
freaking out.
34
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:46,538
(slow scream)
35
00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:52,878
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
36
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:56,482
¶ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ¶
37
00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:59,618
¶ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ¶
38
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:03,689
¶ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ¶
39
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:08,760
¶ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ¶
40
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:11,096
¶ Good -- ¶
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
41
00:02:11,098 --> 00:02:12,498
Aah!
42
00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:16,735
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
43
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:22,808
Buck up, champ. One bad grade's
not the end of the world.
44
00:02:22,810 --> 00:02:24,276
Look at your mother.
45
00:02:24,278 --> 00:02:26,612
She's got a great life,
lives in a nice, big house
46
00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:28,247
and she had
nothing but D's.
47
00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:29,248
Yeah.
48
00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:30,582
Double D's.
49
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:33,018
(psychedelic music plays)
50
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:41,026
The point is, it was
just one little mistake.
51
00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:42,327
You're gonna be fine.
52
00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:43,795
You know what?
Maybe you're right.
53
00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:45,297
Of course I'm right.
54
00:02:45,299 --> 00:02:47,666
Now, bring that sweet
cinnamon noodle on over here.
55
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:49,201
It's tousling time.
56
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:50,669
Come here,
you little rascal!
(laughs)
57
00:02:50,671 --> 00:02:52,271
You're a little rascal
is what you are.
58
00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:53,505
Get him!
Get that little rascal!
You scamp!
59
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,107
You're just
a rascally little scamp!
60
00:02:55,109 --> 00:02:56,675
You little scamp, you.
Oh, he's a scamp
is what he is.
61
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,677
Ow!
Now get on out of here,
you little bastard.
62
00:02:58,679 --> 00:03:00,479
(laughs)
63
00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:02,181
(sighs)
64
00:03:02,183 --> 00:03:05,517
Our greatest fear
has come true.
65
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,886
Candyman has escaped
the world of the movies
66
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,189
and entered ours?!
67
00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:12,491
Okay. My greatest fear
has come true.
68
00:03:12,493 --> 00:03:14,560
Grades are all
Steve has.
69
00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:16,628
If he loses that,
what'll he have left?
70
00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:18,530
His dead-on
Paul Hogan impression?
71
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:19,998
Sure, it kills now,
72
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,533
but how much longer
is that gonna be relevant?
73
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,302
But you said
it was no big deal.
74
00:03:23,304 --> 00:03:24,570
I didn't want him
to panic.
75
00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:26,705
But what if it wasn't
just a mistake?
76
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,707
What if his grades
start slipping?
77
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:29,908
What kind of life
will he have?
78
00:03:29,910 --> 00:03:31,543
The world
will eat him alive.
79
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:33,178
Like Candyman?
80
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:35,814
Yes, Francine,
like Candyman.
81
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:40,018
Steve's always been
a soft, sensitive little guy.
82
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:42,321
And I've always been there
to protect him.
83
00:03:42,323 --> 00:03:45,824
And now I have to
protect my boy once more --
84
00:03:45,826 --> 00:03:47,259
from failure.
85
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:50,229
And I need to protect
my girls --
86
00:03:50,231 --> 00:03:51,697
from gravity.
87
00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,799
(psychedelic music plays)
88
00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:00,005
(screams)
89
00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:07,279
(insects chirping)
90
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,349
Hey, bud.
Just popping in.
91
00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:11,383
Oh, how's
the schoolwork going?
92
00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:12,718
Pretty good.
93
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:14,419
I'm working on my new
history assignment --
94
00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:17,122
a video presentation
on Charles Lindbergh.
95
00:04:17,124 --> 00:04:19,258
"Bachelor," Season 1.
Sick!
96
00:04:19,260 --> 00:04:22,794
The first aviator to fly nonstop
from New York to Paris?
97
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:25,364
Oh! Oh, Charles Lindbergh.
Sick!
98
00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:27,032
And Roger's helping me out
with it.
99
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:30,035
Gotcha!
100
00:04:31,071 --> 00:04:33,939
Hey, Rog, can you hit "record"
on the camera?
101
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:36,241
(sighs)
102
00:04:36,243 --> 00:04:37,943
(strains)
103
00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:43,315
(click)
104
00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:47,586
I, Charles Augustus Lindbergh,
born February 4, 1902,
105
00:04:47,588 --> 00:04:50,255
have just flown my plane,
The Spirit of St. Louis,
106
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:51,890
across the Atlantic Ocean.
107
00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:54,559
It's a good thing Gene Siskel
was murdered by pirates,
108
00:04:54,561 --> 00:04:56,261
'cause this
would've killed him.
109
00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:57,829
I better step in.
110
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:02,501
Now, look, this is great, son,
but if you really want that "A,"
111
00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:04,336
you're gonna have to go
above and beyond --
112
00:05:04,338 --> 00:05:06,071
really dazzle
your teacher.
113
00:05:06,073 --> 00:05:08,240
How do I do that?
Well, I could
help you out.
114
00:05:08,242 --> 00:05:10,575
That'd be great!
Roger, do you care if --
115
00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:12,477
I never cared,
Steve.
116
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:15,981
Ah, this is
a really hard one.
117
00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,049
Yep, nope.
118
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:21,019
Gotcha!
119
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,655
(birds chirping)
120
00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:27,492
Men's Ed Hardy "Death or Glory"
low-rise sneakers.
121
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:30,162
Color -- dragon smoke black.
122
00:05:30,164 --> 00:05:32,698
Size -- 14.
123
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:34,800
Now, all I need...
124
00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:36,601
is a body.
125
00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:40,472
(somber piano music plays)
126
00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:44,276
¶ These shiny shoes
will cure my blues ¶
127
00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:48,046
¶ Und chase the gloom away ¶
128
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:51,450
¶ When I dress my body ¶
129
00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:55,987
¶ The one I'll have someday ¶
130
00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:59,324
¶ "Co-Ed naked volleyball" ¶
131
00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:02,961
¶ Is what my shirt will say ¶
132
00:06:02,963 --> 00:06:06,498
¶ Und puka shells
will sure look swell ¶
133
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:11,236
¶ Paired with
a white gold chain ¶
134
00:06:11,238 --> 00:06:14,139
¶ I'll have no fear,
only joy and cheer ¶
135
00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:20,879
¶ And a square-cut stud
in my left ear ¶
136
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:23,682
¶ When I dress my body,
I'll hear everybody say ¶
137
00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:26,752
¶ "Hey, that's somebody,
not just anybody" ¶
138
00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:33,024
¶ When I dress my body ¶
139
00:06:33,026 --> 00:06:37,028
¶ Someday -- ¶
140
00:06:37,030 --> 00:06:38,764
Klaus!
What the hell?!
141
00:06:38,766 --> 00:06:40,065
I'm doing a thing
in here!
142
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,600
It's my room!
W-Why are you even --
143
00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:42,534
Get out!
144
00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:43,769
My room, Klaus!
145
00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,070
Out!
Aaaaah!
146
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:46,138
Fine!
147
00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:49,207
(door slams)
148
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:56,281
¶ Someday ¶
149
00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:02,053
What better way
to go above and beyond
150
00:07:02,055 --> 00:07:04,623
than to get some sweet
aerial footage for your movie?
151
00:07:04,625 --> 00:07:07,359
So I borrowed a drone
from work.
152
00:07:07,361 --> 00:07:08,927
Dad,
that's a Predator drone!
153
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,762
Eh, a drone's
a drone.
154
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:12,731
I just got in there
with my Leatherman,
yanked out the missiles,
155
00:07:12,733 --> 00:07:14,366
tossed them in the "everything"
drawer in the kitchen.
156
00:07:14,368 --> 00:07:15,801
No big whoop.
157
00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:19,004
Now, where's
that car wash coupon?
158
00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:21,907
Let's start with the scene
where I find out
159
00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:23,408
my baby's been kidnapped
and --
160
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:26,111
Actually, I made
one other super-cool change
161
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:27,913
I know
you're gonna love.
162
00:07:27,915 --> 00:07:31,116
Steve, meet the new star
of your history project --
163
00:07:31,118 --> 00:07:34,286
The Rock...'s
friend Vin Diesel --
164
00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:35,787
still,
technically, a star.
165
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:38,423
Uh, we're not
actually friends.
166
00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:41,793
Although, we do own a couple
Long John Silver's together.
167
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,428
But that's
not important.
168
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:44,596
What's important is,
169
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:47,599
this deathly ill child
has a dream,
170
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:50,402
and I'm gonna make it
come true.
171
00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:52,237
You told him I'm
a Make-A-Wish kid, didn't you?
172
00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:54,005
Am I that far off,
Steve?
173
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,345
What are we doing
at the C.I.A.?
174
00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:02,681
Oh, just taking advantage
of our...
175
00:08:02,683 --> 00:08:04,282
top-secret soundstage!
176
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:06,017
(indistinct conversations)
177
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:07,819
This is where we filmed
the moon landing,
178
00:08:07,821 --> 00:08:09,154
the JFK assassination,
179
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:11,256
and Def Jam's
"How to be a Player."
180
00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:14,659
Wow! This is gonna be the most
epic history project ever!
181
00:08:14,661 --> 00:08:16,328
You bet your ass
it is.
182
00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:18,830
Now, wait here. I'm gonna go
check on the script changes.
183
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:20,298
Script changes?
What are --
184
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:21,700
Apple box flyin' in!
185
00:08:21,702 --> 00:08:23,502
Dino, let's put sticks
on a half apple
186
00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:25,670
and fly in a couple of C-47s
so I can jelly-roll
187
00:08:25,672 --> 00:08:27,806
those Bob Denvers,
and put 'em on an apple box.
188
00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:29,875
Hey!
You can't touch that!
189
00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,643
(sighs)
And you are?
190
00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:33,979
Chuck Deptula,
union gaffer,
191
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:35,647
but everybody calls me
"Cheese."
192
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:36,982
You seem to be
a lot more helpful now
193
00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:38,717
than you were
the other day.
194
00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:41,453
Now the International
Brotherhood of Film Grips,
195
00:08:41,455 --> 00:08:45,490
Session Drummers and Pool Table
Repairmen has my back, scab.
196
00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:46,925
That's lunch!
197
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:52,664
Hmm. This still doesn't feel
like a guaranteed "A."
198
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:54,566
Atlantic Ocean?
Pacific's bigger.
199
00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:56,501
Steve's teacher will find that
much more impressive.
200
00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,069
I think maybe he'll care
a little bit more
201
00:08:58,071 --> 00:08:59,838
about
historical accuracy.
202
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,707
Uh, If I didn't care
about historical accuracy,
203
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:05,010
would I have stolen
the actual Spirit of St. Louis
204
00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:07,145
from the Smithsonian?
What?!
205
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:09,848
The toughest part was convincing
the guard I came in with it.
206
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,816
Look, to really impress
your teacher,
207
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:15,253
we gotta make this thing
big, exciting, fun.
208
00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:17,222
Wait --
the Lindbergh baby died?!
209
00:09:17,224 --> 00:09:19,257
Huge downer, Steve.
Yeah, but --
210
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:21,693
What if Lindbergh had a buddy,
like a-a dog or a monkey,
211
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:23,361
and the buddy dies
instead?
212
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:25,263
I'm not sure --
You know what?
Now I like the buddy.
213
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,999
Maybe Lindbergh
brings him back to life
214
00:09:28,001 --> 00:09:30,268
with the power
of RC Cola!
215
00:09:30,270 --> 00:09:32,504
We gotta work in some product
placement to cover costs.
216
00:09:32,506 --> 00:09:35,006
Dad! This is
my project, remember?
217
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:37,842
Hey, you're still in charge.
We're just here to help you.
218
00:09:37,844 --> 00:09:40,712
"We" being
DreamSmith Entertainment,
219
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:42,080
the production company
I started
220
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,715
with the money
from your college fund.
221
00:09:43,717 --> 00:09:45,250
I'll tell you
one thing, Suit --
222
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,953
we've got non-union sound,
so the movie's gonna
223
00:09:47,955 --> 00:09:49,287
(feedback)
sound like shit!
224
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:50,555
Owww!
225
00:09:50,557 --> 00:09:51,756
Oooh!
226
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:52,924
That's lunch!
227
00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:56,461
Refresh.
228
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:57,462
Refresh.
229
00:09:57,464 --> 00:09:58,463
Refresh.
230
00:09:58,465 --> 00:09:59,631
(gasps)
231
00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:01,399
Hayley!
The shoes are here!
232
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:03,301
The shoes, the shoes,
the shoes, the shoes!
233
00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:07,906
But...it said...
234
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:09,407
(voice breaking)
H-How?
235
00:10:09,409 --> 00:10:11,042
(crying)
236
00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,912
You know, there is
a 416 South Cherry Street.
237
00:10:13,914 --> 00:10:15,947
Maybe it got delivered there
by mistake.
238
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:18,750
As a matter of fact, I once
ordered a Garfield welcome mat
239
00:10:18,752 --> 00:10:20,318
that never showed up,
either.
240
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:24,322
Oh, I do so hope
to someday hear the story
241
00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:26,558
of the missing
welcome mat.
242
00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:27,826
Hey, I'm trying
to help you out.
243
00:10:27,828 --> 00:10:29,327
Then shut up and drive!
244
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:33,832
We shut down
the set of "Captain Ron"
245
00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:36,234
for six months
back in '91.
246
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:38,770
Touchstone retaliated
with full fury.
247
00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:41,673
Friendships were destroyed,
marriages fell apart,
248
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:45,143
but, by God, we got three chairs
for every five men working.
249
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:46,778
Dino, you'd be standing
right now.
250
00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:49,514
Um, Cheese, we're trying
to film a scene.
251
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:51,850
Well, we're trying
to eat lunch,
252
00:10:51,852 --> 00:10:54,119
which we're allowed to do
anywhere on set.
253
00:10:54,121 --> 00:10:55,920
Read the '85 agreement!
254
00:10:55,922 --> 00:10:56,921
That's lunch!
255
00:10:56,923 --> 00:10:58,089
Come on, Dino.
256
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,695
Hey, man, this is
for a sick kid.
257
00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:05,497
Couldn't you be
a little flexible?
258
00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:07,198
Oh, so you think
you can crap all over us
259
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,367
below-the-line people just
because you're the big star?
260
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:11,002
How dare you!
261
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:13,605
I'm gonna eat lunch
in your trailer, in your bed!
262
00:11:13,607 --> 00:11:14,873
Please join me!
263
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:17,108
I know I sound angry,
but please come!
264
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:18,710
My God,
you're ripped.
265
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:20,445
Okay, everybody,
back to 1.
266
00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:21,846
And...
267
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,682
Are you worried this scene
is playing too heavy?
268
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:25,450
No, I'm not.
And...
269
00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:27,118
You sure you don't want
to bring in the monkey?
270
00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:28,319
Yes, positive!
271
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:30,321
And...action!
272
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:32,357
You fly the plane
or the plane --
273
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:33,958
Cut!
274
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,061
Let's just bring the monkey in,
see what he does.
275
00:11:36,063 --> 00:11:37,395
Dad! That's enough!
276
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,798
This is my project!
Oh, really?
277
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,499
Because it sure feels like
I'm the one
278
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:43,134
who's been putting in
all the effort.
279
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:45,704
I got you the soundstage,
I got you Vin Diesel,
280
00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:47,238
I got you a monkey
281
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,407
who studied under the monkey
from "Dunston Checks In"!
282
00:11:49,409 --> 00:11:51,543
I didn't ask you to!!
283
00:11:51,545 --> 00:11:54,045
But you need me to,
if you want to get that "A."
284
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:56,548
I'm sorry, son, but you're
no Charles Lindbergh.
285
00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:59,284
You can't fly solo on this.
You're just not capable.
286
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:06,257
Nope, sorry. I haven't gotten
any packages lately.
287
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:07,992
Oh, well.
It was a long shot.
288
00:12:07,994 --> 00:12:09,394
Take 'er easy.
289
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:11,496
Hey, I'll take 'er
any way I can get 'er.
290
00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:14,365
(both laugh)
291
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:15,600
(chuckles)
292
00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:18,903
That lying son of a bitch
has my shoes.
293
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,605
Klaus,
that's ridiculous.
294
00:12:20,607 --> 00:12:22,507
Okay, we have no reason
to --
295
00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:24,409
Son of a bitch!
296
00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:29,080
What the --
297
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,783
Oh, you want to get nuts?
Let's get nuts!
298
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:35,453
I brought
so many bullets!
299
00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:38,757
(cheers and applause)
300
00:12:38,759 --> 00:12:42,527
Ladies, gentlemen,
Steve's teacher, welcome.
301
00:12:42,529 --> 00:12:45,363
You're not gonna believe
your eyes when you see
302
00:12:45,365 --> 00:12:49,000
what Steve Smith was capable
of doing all by himself.
303
00:12:50,303 --> 00:12:52,137
Roll it!
304
00:12:57,778 --> 00:12:59,711
(roars)
305
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,786
(screeches)
306
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:12,624
CHILD (whispering):
DreamSmith.
307
00:13:17,764 --> 00:13:20,165
FATHER LINDBERGH:
Your head's in the clouds, boy.
308
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,833
That's no place
for a man.
309
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:24,402
LINDBERGH:
But what if it was, Pop?
310
00:13:24,404 --> 00:13:26,971
What if it was?
311
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:32,343
I shall call my invention
"the aeroplane,"
312
00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:35,947
and I owe it all
to RC Cola.
313
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:37,015
[ Tab pops ]
314
00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:38,683
[ Gulping ]
315
00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:41,319
LINDBERGH'S WIFE: Charles!
Our baby's been kidnapped!
316
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:42,987
I'll handle this.
317
00:13:42,989 --> 00:13:44,255
[ Tab pops ]
318
00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:45,924
[ Gulping ]
319
00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:52,163
Hey, Boss,
ain't you worried
320
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:54,432
Lindbergh will
come for his bambino?
321
00:13:54,434 --> 00:13:56,835
He is just one man.
322
00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:59,637
(dramatic music plays)
323
00:13:59,639 --> 00:14:03,942
One pilot
with two fight attendants.
324
00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:05,710
(smooches)
325
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:08,213
(glass shatters)
326
00:14:11,785 --> 00:14:13,117
Aaaaaaaah!
327
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,220
Guards!
328
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,288
(whistles)
329
00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:26,664
Aaaaaaaa--
330
00:14:26,666 --> 00:14:27,765
Ugh!
331
00:14:29,135 --> 00:14:32,036
You got a bad altitude.
332
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,906
Good work, Gus.
333
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:37,642
But next time,
you fly.
334
00:14:37,644 --> 00:14:40,411
¶ I just want to fly ¶
335
00:14:40,413 --> 00:14:42,146
(applause)
336
00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:45,149
¶ Put your arms
around me, baby... ¶
337
00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:47,318
And now let's meet
the genius behind
338
00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:51,189
this A-plus-caliber project --
Steve Smith.
339
00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:53,491
(audience murmuring)
340
00:14:53,493 --> 00:14:55,260
What?!
341
00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:57,662
(gasps) De plane!
342
00:15:01,268 --> 00:15:03,368
Can't do things on my own,
can I?
343
00:15:03,370 --> 00:15:06,638
Well, look who's flying solo
now, Dad!
344
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:09,407
At least
Mom's still proud of me.
345
00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:12,043
(thunder crashes)
(whimpers)
346
00:15:12,045 --> 00:15:13,511
(knocking)
347
00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:15,046
Candyman's got me!
348
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:18,683
You gotta say my name
three times to free me!
349
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:20,285
(screams)
350
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:28,927
Now, just because you have
no idea how to fly a plane,
351
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:30,395
there's no need to panic.
352
00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:32,196
You can make it to Paris.
353
00:15:32,198 --> 00:15:34,032
You'll just have to learn
on the fly.
354
00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:36,034
(giggles)
Good one, Steve.
355
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:38,703
You've been cleared to laugh.
(laughs)
356
00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:42,240
Well, I should probably figure
out what all these gauges are.
357
00:15:42,242 --> 00:15:43,474
Air speed.
358
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:46,611
I'd say that one's
self-explanatory.
359
00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:47,679
This one...
360
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:51,115
Gonna come back to this one.
361
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:54,385
It's so foggy up here.
I hope I'm flying high enough.
362
00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:56,788
(water splashes)
363
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,957
(dolphins chatter)
364
00:16:01,161 --> 00:16:02,293
Aaaaah!
365
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:05,029
Geez, buddy!
Got enough arms?!
366
00:16:07,801 --> 00:16:09,400
Pull up! Pull up!
367
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:18,142
Looks like
white men can jump.
368
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:20,378
(wind whistling)
369
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:23,915
(thud)
370
00:16:23,917 --> 00:16:26,584
(gasps)
Looks like
white men can jump.
371
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:29,253
What?
It's a famous novel,
Steve.
372
00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:30,321
Now, give me
that flight stick.
373
00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:31,322
Never!
374
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,757
(both grunting)
375
00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:38,663
(glass shattering)
376
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:39,664
(grunts)
377
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:41,432
Douglas, Douglas,
Douglas.
378
00:16:41,434 --> 00:16:44,268
All I want
are my shoes.
379
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:46,537
I don't have
your shoes.
380
00:16:46,539 --> 00:16:50,008
Please, you -- you can have
my shoes. Here.
381
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:52,610
Do I look like the kind of fish
who would wear red shoes
382
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:54,512
when he someday has
the body of a man?!
383
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:57,548
House is clean. Only place
I haven't looked is this closet.
384
00:16:57,550 --> 00:16:59,117
Thing's locked tight.
385
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:01,452
Open the closet,
please, Doug.
386
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:03,021
I-I lost the key.
Listen --
387
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,223
Open the closet!
I didn't take
your stuff!
388
00:17:05,225 --> 00:17:08,159
Then why is my Garfield mat
on your doorstep?!
389
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:11,362
It's Garfield! It's Amazon's
top-selling welcome mat!
390
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:13,331
Open the closet,
Doug!
I can't!
I swear to you!
391
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,199
I don't have the key!
Please!
Open it,
or I swear I'll shoot!
392
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:17,368
(all screaming)
393
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:19,570
(teakettle whistles)
(screams)
394
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:30,815
Oh...my...God!
395
00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:33,217
There are no shoes
in there.
396
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:37,188
We've inconvenienced
an innocent man and his guest.
397
00:17:37,190 --> 00:17:39,090
(muffled begging)
398
00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:42,026
You know, I'm not 100% sure
I ordered that welcome mat.
399
00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:43,594
I might've just put it
on my wish list.
400
00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:45,096
(cellphone bloops)
401
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:47,231
It's Jeff. He found your shoes
in the bush out front.
402
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:50,768
The bush! Of course!
403
00:17:50,770 --> 00:17:53,571
(whistling)
404
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,173
(door opens, closes)
405
00:17:58,278 --> 00:17:59,343
(whistling)
406
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:07,618
STEVE: Let go!
I'm doing this -- on my own!
407
00:18:07,620 --> 00:18:10,922
Why...won't you...
just let me help you?!
408
00:18:10,924 --> 00:18:13,024
Because
you're not helping me!
409
00:18:13,026 --> 00:18:16,427
When you...won't let me do
anything for myself,
410
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,930
you're actually
standing in my way!
411
00:18:19,866 --> 00:18:21,899
I am?
Yes! That's the --
412
00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:24,102
Shh! I'm remembering
something.
413
00:18:24,104 --> 00:18:27,305
A lesson, from a powerful film
I once saw.
414
00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:30,741
(voice breaking)
Don't leave me, Pop!
415
00:18:30,743 --> 00:18:33,611
I can't do this
without you by my side.
416
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:36,214
Oh, stop
your foolishness, now.
417
00:18:36,216 --> 00:18:41,719
Why, if you never let
a baby bird out of the nest,
418
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:44,388
it can't never
take flight.
419
00:18:44,390 --> 00:18:45,756
(groans)
420
00:18:45,758 --> 00:18:49,327
Take flight,
Charles...Lindbergh...
421
00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:50,328
my son.
422
00:18:50,330 --> 00:18:51,629
(flatline)
423
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,464
(sobbing)
424
00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:00,771
Don't you see, Dad?
425
00:19:00,773 --> 00:19:03,908
If you never let me try,
sure, I can't ever fail.
426
00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:07,478
But you can't
ever succeed, either.
427
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,180
Oh, I'm sorry, son.
428
00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:11,082
Well, I'm sorry, too.
429
00:19:11,084 --> 00:19:13,451
It was pretty stupid of me
taking off with this plane
430
00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:16,554
and thinking I could make it
across the ocean all by myself.
431
00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:22,160
Oh, my God!
The Eiffel Tower!
432
00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:23,961
I did make it
to Paris!
433
00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:26,130
(as Paul Hogan)
Wanna bring us in
for a landing, mate?
434
00:19:26,132 --> 00:19:28,032
Heh! Still got it!
435
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:30,034
But, actually, son,
I realize now
436
00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:33,371
that this is something I have to
let you do on your own.
437
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:34,772
What?!
438
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:37,275
No, wait! I don't know
how to land a plane!
439
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:39,710
White men can jump.
440
00:19:42,115 --> 00:19:43,814
(groans)
441
00:19:43,816 --> 00:19:47,585
I believe in yoooooooou!
442
00:19:50,190 --> 00:19:52,123
Merci!
443
00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:53,558
(thud)
444
00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,026
(wind whistles)
445
00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:01,299
All right, son,
you can do this.
446
00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:03,534
Just mind those crosswinds.
447
00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,570
Good, good.
Easy on the throttle.
448
00:20:05,572 --> 00:20:07,238
Pull back on the yoke.
449
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:09,507
That's it, now.
Steady.
450
00:20:09,509 --> 00:20:10,408
Steady.
451
00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:12,643
(gasps)
452
00:20:15,381 --> 00:20:17,848
My boy!
What have I done?!
453
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:20,051
(sobbing)
454
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:23,054
Ow! My bottom!
455
00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:24,922
Steve! You're alive!
456
00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:27,892
Can you believe I actually
made it all the way to Paris?!
457
00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:30,328
Well...no,
because you didn't.
458
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:32,597
Looks like you must've gotten
turned around in the clouds,
459
00:20:32,599 --> 00:20:34,565
'cause that's that new
amusement park they opened
460
00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:36,334
just outside
Langley Falls.
461
00:20:39,672 --> 00:20:41,372
Tell you what, son.
462
00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:44,075
From now on, I'm gonna let you
do things for yourself.
463
00:20:44,077 --> 00:20:47,511
But if you ever do want my help,
all you have to do is ask.
464
00:20:47,513 --> 00:20:49,680
Maybe you can help me
wash my flight suit.
465
00:20:49,682 --> 00:20:52,617
I really did a number on this
thing baling out of that plane.
466
00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:54,085
A number 5.
467
00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:56,187
That's two number 2s
and a number 1.
468
00:20:56,189 --> 00:20:59,690
That sounds like the kind
of help a mother might give.
469
00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:04,195
Have a great night!
470
00:21:04,197 --> 00:21:07,365
-- Captions by VITAC --