1
00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:06,672
(elevator bell dings)
2
00:00:06,674 --> 00:00:09,675
(indistinct conversations)
3
00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,276
Sir, what's with
all the hubbub?
4
00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:14,013
Smith, why are you wearing
the same basic bitch tie
5
00:00:14,015 --> 00:00:15,681
you wear every day?
6
00:00:15,683 --> 00:00:18,283
Now I'm gonna have to cut you
from the fashion show.
7
00:00:18,285 --> 00:00:19,818
What fashion show?
8
00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:22,454
The one we have every year
after Father's Day.
9
00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:25,657
This year's theme -- "flex,
flaunt, shimmy, and shake,
10
00:00:25,659 --> 00:00:27,493
all the way down
to the Langley Lake.
11
00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:30,562
Y-You know, I didn't actually
think of a theme.
12
00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:33,899
(upbeat R&B music plays)
Here comes Duper in what's sure
to be the dad look of summer --
13
00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:37,970
a big dog T-shirt, jorts,
and a socks/Crocs combo!
14
00:00:37,972 --> 00:00:39,838
(all cheering)
15
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:43,342
But -- But that would mean
yesterday was Father's Day.
16
00:00:43,344 --> 00:00:44,676
This is impossible!
17
00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:47,813
My family forgot
to celebrate...me.
18
00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:50,682
Well, here's something
no one will ever forget.
19
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:54,019
¶ Cream, I need it 'cause
you know that I'm a fiend ¶
20
00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:56,155
¶ Gettin' freaky
in my Bentley limousine ¶
21
00:00:56,157 --> 00:00:58,524
¶ It's even better
when it's with ice cream ¶
22
00:00:58,526 --> 00:01:01,160
¶ Know what I mean?
Peaches and cream ¶
23
00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:03,328
¶ I need it 'cause you know
that I'm a fiend ¶
24
00:01:03,330 --> 00:01:05,697
Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
¶ Gettin' freaky
in my Bentley limousine ¶
25
00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:07,666
¶ It's even better
when it's with ice cream ¶
26
00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:09,668
All right!
¶ Know what I mean?
Peaches and cream ¶
27
00:01:09,670 --> 00:01:13,172
One day, the world's gonna see
Dick's got just as much to offer
28
00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:16,008
on the inside
as he does on the backside.
29
00:01:16,010 --> 00:01:17,342
Yeah!
30
00:01:17,344 --> 00:01:19,845
(patriotic music plays)
31
00:01:19,847 --> 00:01:23,082
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
32
00:01:23,084 --> 00:01:26,452
¶ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ¶
33
00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:29,755
¶ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ¶
34
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:33,826
¶ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ¶
35
00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:39,031
¶ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ¶
36
00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:41,300
¶ Good -- ¶
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
37
00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:42,634
Aah!
38
00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:47,306
¶ Good morning, U.S.A. ¶
39
00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:52,878
So then I told him that I hadn't
talked to my brother in years
40
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,948
but my relationship
with my dry cleaner
has never been stronger.
41
00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:58,717
(laughter)
42
00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:00,119
Oh, my --
43
00:02:00,121 --> 00:02:03,122
Home runs today,
Roger!
44
00:02:03,124 --> 00:02:05,390
Dad, did you hear
Roger's story?
45
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:07,826
Yeah, it was...
kind of funny.
46
00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:09,828
O...kay.
47
00:02:09,830 --> 00:02:12,664
So, um,
how was work?
48
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:15,634
Oh! Did they figure out
if those twin agents you hate
49
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:17,436
died
in that botched mission?
50
00:02:17,438 --> 00:02:20,105
No. Rich and Mitch
are still just missing.
51
00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:21,840
Dad,
what's going on?
52
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,809
You forgot
Father's Day!
What?!
53
00:02:23,811 --> 00:02:26,145
Bullock banished me
to the "lame dad room."
54
00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:27,779
Do you know
where that is?
55
00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:30,516
It's the old haunted bathroom
that nobody uses anymore
56
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:33,252
because ghosts are coming out
of the goddamn toilet
57
00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:34,486
and going up butts!
58
00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:35,854
Father,
I've failed you!
59
00:02:35,856 --> 00:02:37,956
I'm so sorry!
Oh, my God.
60
00:02:37,958 --> 00:02:39,625
I've been so obsessed
with corduroy,
61
00:02:39,627 --> 00:02:41,860
my whole weekend
just slipped away.
62
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:45,697
Hey. What if we pretend
tomorrow is Father's Day?
63
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:46,698
I don't know.
64
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,133
Come on!
You name it.
65
00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:50,202
We'll give you
your perfect day.
66
00:02:50,204 --> 00:02:52,171
Huh. I guess
that could work.
67
00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:54,006
("The Hustle" ringtone plays)
68
00:02:54,008 --> 00:02:55,140
(cellphone beeps)
Smith.
69
00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:56,542
Well,
that's unfortunate.
70
00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:57,876
Thanks for calling.
(cellphone beeps)
71
00:02:57,878 --> 00:02:59,278
This day is...
72
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:00,345
turning around!
73
00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,114
The twins are dead!
74
00:03:02,116 --> 00:03:03,782
¶ Rich and Mitch
were found in a ditch ¶
75
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:05,684
¶ Doo-da, doo-da ¶
76
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:09,121
¶ Sorry, Mrs. Jankovich,
your stupid sons are dead ¶
77
00:03:09,123 --> 00:03:11,723
Mm!
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah!
78
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,295
(crickets chirping)
79
00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:18,197
Good morning!
80
00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:21,466
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya
two days after Father's Day.
81
00:03:21,468 --> 00:03:28,240
That's 363 days, or 8,712 hours
or 522,720 minutes
82
00:03:28,242 --> 00:03:30,042
until the next Father's Day --
83
00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:31,977
and 22 seconds
until I take the pills
84
00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:33,812
that aren't helping
my crippling OCD.
85
00:03:33,814 --> 00:03:35,247
OCD, OCD, OCD.
86
00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:37,816
Now here's an oldie
but a groovy!
87
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:39,418
¶ I'm the Scatman ¶
88
00:03:39,420 --> 00:03:41,987
"For my meal, I would like
a Thanksgiving dinner."
89
00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:43,822
"For my entertainment --
anything."
90
00:03:43,824 --> 00:03:45,224
Yes!
91
00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:47,593
"For my present --
a homemade birdhouse.
92
00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:50,429
Thinkin' about becoming
a bird guy."
93
00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:51,530
(tapping)
94
00:03:51,532 --> 00:03:54,533
Happy Father's Day!
95
00:03:54,535 --> 00:03:56,368
Birdhouse is
coming along great.
96
00:03:56,370 --> 00:04:00,072
'Course, the city inspector's
riding me about zoning laws,
97
00:04:00,074 --> 00:04:03,408
and my electrician's putting me
through the whole rigmarole.
98
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:06,245
Steve, you've made peace with
never being with a woman, right?
99
00:04:06,247 --> 00:04:07,746
Uh, yeah.
100
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,948
(mid-tempo music plays)
Hey, Dad.
101
00:04:09,950 --> 00:04:12,884
Just trying to find lyrics
to rhyme with "My pops is tops."
102
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:15,053
Well, I admire
a good karate chop.
103
00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:16,521
Find something there.
104
00:04:17,291 --> 00:04:20,759
Thanks for giving us
a second chance, honey.
105
00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:21,827
Mwah!
106
00:04:22,963 --> 00:04:25,530
Leave it.
It's your day.
107
00:04:28,269 --> 00:04:30,636
A groundbreaking
open-concept birdhouse.
108
00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:33,572
You can see everything
from the stove.
109
00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:34,773
Not bad, son.
110
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:36,408
I'd say this house is...
111
00:04:36,410 --> 00:04:37,476
for the birds.
112
00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:38,977
Ha ha ha!
113
00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:42,614
We've got turkey, stuffing,
mashed potatoes.
114
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:45,050
Mmm! You know
exactly what I want.
115
00:04:45,052 --> 00:04:47,786
But you don't seem to know that
I want it from Boston Market.
116
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,755
Still, looks great.
117
00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:51,423
(mid-tempo music plays)
118
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:53,992
¶ You're the corduroy
of dads ¶
119
00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:55,961
¶ The best one
I've ever had ¶
120
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:57,963
¶ I wrote this song
for you, Daddy ¶
121
00:04:57,965 --> 00:05:03,101
¶ I wrote this song
for you-o-o-o-o-o-o ¶
122
00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:06,238
¶ Ye-a-a-a-h ¶
123
00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:08,807
¶ Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah ¶
124
00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,075
Good job, honey!
125
00:05:10,077 --> 00:05:11,910
Kind of reminds me
of early Dylan --
126
00:05:11,912 --> 00:05:13,278
like, really early,
127
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:14,946
before he learned
how to play the guitar.
128
00:05:14,948 --> 00:05:16,248
But I loved it.
129
00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:19,618
("Rockford Files" theme plays)
130
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:21,019
What a great day,
Stan.
131
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:22,654
For you, not me.
132
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,956
That guy on the bus
got in my face again,
133
00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:26,191
and I just finally
lost it --
134
00:05:26,193 --> 00:05:27,693
Yeah,
it was a nice day.
135
00:05:27,695 --> 00:05:29,761
Guess the family proved
they really do care.
136
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,863
Are you kidding me?!
137
00:05:31,865 --> 00:05:33,532
They forgot
Father's Day!
138
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:34,800
And they covered for it
139
00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:37,436
with a B-minus celebration
on a Tuesday?
140
00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:39,338
"Oh, hey,
sorry for feeding you dogshit.
141
00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:41,840
Allow us to wash it down
with some RC Cola."
142
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,775
Roger! Why do you
always have to be
143
00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:45,377
the little devil
on people's shoulder?
144
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:47,546
W-W-Whoa. Hang on, Klaus.
Roger may have a point.
145
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:49,014
Stan?
146
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,615
Well, I...guess
it could have been better.
147
00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:53,118
Little devil?
More like Little Debbie.
148
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:56,021
'Cause I give
some sweeeeet advice!
149
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:58,023
Good morning!
150
00:05:58,025 --> 00:06:01,326
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya
two days after Father's Day.
151
00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:07,966
That's 363 days, or 8,712 hours
or 522,720 minutes
152
00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:09,801
until the next
Father's Day --
153
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:12,003
(muffled) and 22 seconds
until I take the pills...
154
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:14,539
"For my present --
a homemade birdhouse.
155
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:17,142
Please -- not open-concept."
156
00:06:17,144 --> 00:06:20,145
(tapping)
157
00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:22,013
Happy Father's Day!
158
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:24,449
(mid-tempo music plays)
159
00:06:26,553 --> 00:06:29,821
Just getting ready
to "lei" this pig down
160
00:06:29,823 --> 00:06:31,523
for your luau dinner.
161
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,992
(holla)
So "hula"
at your girl!
162
00:06:35,496 --> 00:06:36,528
Leave it. It's --
163
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,330
It's my day.
164
00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:44,770
Uh, why is everyone acting
like it's yesterday?
165
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:46,238
Because I erased
their memories
166
00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,373
so they could relive
the previous day,
167
00:06:48,375 --> 00:06:50,842
giving them another shot
at a decent Father's Day.
168
00:06:50,844 --> 00:06:53,712
You're "Groundhog Day'ing"
the fam?!
169
00:06:53,714 --> 00:06:55,881
Wait. Why didn't you erase
my memory?
170
00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:58,583
Come on, bud.
You're not even on my radar.
171
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:05,223
So, the family
has no idea
172
00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:07,125
they're reliving
yesterday's Father's Day?
173
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:09,394
Nope. Their minds
have been whipped clean.
174
00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,797
Wh-Whipped clean.
Whipped -- Whipped clea--
175
00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:13,265
Why --
Why can't I say this?
176
00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:15,400
I got it. Their minds
have been whipped cream.
177
00:07:15,402 --> 00:07:16,902
I feel like we're building
to the point
178
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:18,403
where you tell us
how you did this.
179
00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:19,938
Are we?
We are.
180
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,406
(twinkle!)
The C.I.A. was having --
181
00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:23,475
Wait, wait. Stan,
how long is this story?
182
00:07:23,477 --> 00:07:25,710
'Cause I just want to know --
do I sit, do I stand?
183
00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:27,045
Medium-long?
184
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:29,214
Uh, lean. Yeah, I'll lean.
Continue.
185
00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:30,282
(twinkle!)
The C.I.A. was --
186
00:07:30,284 --> 00:07:31,716
No, gonna sit.
Gonna sit.
187
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:33,452
You seemed real unsure
about your answer.
188
00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:35,153
Well, don't let me
interrupt you.
189
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:36,721
(twinkle!)
The C.I.A.
was having a yard sale.
190
00:07:36,723 --> 00:07:39,591
Just gonna lie down
to play it safe.
191
00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:41,393
The C.I.A. had to have
a yard sale
192
00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:43,628
for the same reason
anyone has a yard sale --
193
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:45,797
to make
an ass-load of money.
194
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,566
(cellphone chimes)
195
00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:50,001
"Got my dream part
in the school play."
196
00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:52,904
Signed,
"The sweetest boy in Oz."
197
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,339
(sighs)
198
00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:56,441
This is not how I want
to remember my son.
199
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,243
You don't have to.
Just use this.
200
00:07:58,245 --> 00:08:00,178
It's a memory
neutralizer.
201
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:03,582
Flashes a light that
wipes the last 24 hours
from your memory.
202
00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:06,585
I use it on myself every time
I watch "The Nutty Professor."
203
00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:09,020
That way, I get as hard
as I did the first time.
204
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,789
(twinkle!)
205
00:08:10,791 --> 00:08:13,859
So, after an okay
but not perfect Father's Day,
206
00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,861
I decided to use it
on the family.
207
00:08:15,863 --> 00:08:17,362
Wait.
What happened to Roger?
208
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:18,830
He went
on a vape run, bro.
209
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,600
The house was dangerously low
on Vanilla Vacation.
210
00:08:21,602 --> 00:08:24,870
But, Stan, what you're doing
feels very unfair to the family.
211
00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:26,972
What's unfair is
they forgot Father's Day.
212
00:08:26,974 --> 00:08:28,773
This whole thing is
supposed to be a makeup,
213
00:08:28,775 --> 00:08:31,309
and they haven't quite
made up.
214
00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:33,311
But I just know
they're gonna nail it today.
215
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:34,713
Almost done
with the birdhouse.
216
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:36,448
Hey, the skylight
you wanted --
217
00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:38,817
it can be just painted on,
right?
218
00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:40,719
Good morning!
219
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:43,355
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya
two days after Father's Day.
220
00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:45,957
(mid-tempo music plays)
221
00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:53,798
¶ There's nothing
that I wanna do ¶
222
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,634
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya
two days...
223
00:08:55,636 --> 00:08:57,636
¶ More than get alone
and be alone with you ¶
224
00:08:57,638 --> 00:08:59,538
Rockin' Ronnie comin' at ya...
225
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:03,542
¶ Trouble with dreams
is they don't come true ¶
226
00:09:03,544 --> 00:09:06,511
¶ And when they do,
they could catch up to you ¶
227
00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:08,046
Good morning!
228
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:11,816
¶ You don't need a thing
from me, but I ¶
229
00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:14,352
¶ I need something big
from you ¶
230
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:16,821
¶ 'Cause you know I've got ¶
231
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:23,295
¶ An awful lot of big dreams ¶
(repeating) Good morning!
232
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,365
(laughs)
233
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:31,102
¶ I'm walkin' down
a lonely road ¶
234
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:32,938
¶ Clear to me now,
but I was never told ¶
(laughter)
235
00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,907
OCD, OCD, OCD.
236
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:39,110
Now here's an oldie
but groovy.
¶ Trouble with dreams
is you never know ¶
237
00:09:39,112 --> 00:09:43,515
¶ When to hold on
and when to let go ¶
238
00:09:43,517 --> 00:09:47,352
¶ If you let me down,
it's all right ¶
...here's an oldie but groovy.
239
00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:50,088
¶ At least that leaves
something for me ¶
(repeating) ...but groovy...
240
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,424
(heavy metal guitar plays)
241
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:57,195
Snot: Steve!
Where have you been?
242
00:09:57,197 --> 00:09:59,397
You've missed
five weeks of school!
243
00:09:59,399 --> 00:10:01,766
I don't know what's going on
here, Mr. Smith,
244
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,201
but I'm gonna --
245
00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:04,436
Why am I...
246
00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:06,137
Once more.
247
00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:07,439
Again.
248
00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:10,442
And two more
for good luck.
249
00:10:10,444 --> 00:10:11,743
And one
for your mother.
250
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:14,212
(babbling)
251
00:10:15,882 --> 00:10:17,382
(crickets chirping)
252
00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:18,950
We need to talk, bro.
253
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,118
Not now, Klaus.
254
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,419
I have to top off
the Pert Plus
255
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:22,988
and reset
all the radio recordings
256
00:10:22,990 --> 00:10:24,789
so they have a chance
to make tomorrow perfect.
257
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:26,491
Dude,
you've lost it.
258
00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:30,462
Tomorrow. I'm sure tomorrow will
be the perfect Father's Day.
259
00:10:30,464 --> 00:10:31,997
(cheers and applause)
260
00:10:31,999 --> 00:10:36,101
It is my privilege
to welcome our nominee
261
00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:38,770
for president
of the United States --
262
00:10:38,772 --> 00:10:40,905
Senator Vincent Thacker!
263
00:10:40,907 --> 00:10:43,441
(cheers and applause)
264
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:45,944
Thank you. And with the help
of my running mate,
265
00:10:45,946 --> 00:10:47,846
Senator Bill Sturges,
266
00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:50,949
we can get this country
back on track.
267
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:53,485
(Cheers and applause)
268
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,693
Just got off the phone
with The Post.
269
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:03,428
Tomorrow,
they're running an exposé.
270
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:06,097
Some back-alley deal
you cut with Tetradual?
271
00:11:07,034 --> 00:11:09,868
Are you hearing me?!
It's over!
272
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:13,304
(suspenseful chord plays)
What...
273
00:11:13,306 --> 00:11:14,439
What is that?
274
00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:17,776
Mine!
(suspenseful music plays)
275
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:19,444
(both grunting)
276
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:22,347
Oh!
277
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:24,215
(ominous music plays)
278
00:11:26,553 --> 00:11:28,687
Now it's mine.
279
00:11:31,558 --> 00:11:33,191
(screams)
280
00:11:35,562 --> 00:11:36,661
(groans softly)
281
00:11:36,663 --> 00:11:38,196
(gunshot)
282
00:11:39,633 --> 00:11:41,700
(vacuum cleaner whirring)
283
00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:46,137
(whirring stops)
284
00:11:51,645 --> 00:11:54,045
(ominous music plays)
285
00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:58,616
(birds chirping)
286
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:10,628
What is it,
my child?
287
00:12:11,865 --> 00:12:13,465
(gong rings)
288
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:23,441
It has returned.
289
00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:25,076
To destroy it,
290
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:29,447
we must return it
to its source.
291
00:12:32,419 --> 00:12:34,753
(gong rings)
292
00:12:34,755 --> 00:12:36,187
(switch clicks)
293
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,457
Shh!
Come with me.
294
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:40,759
There's no time.
295
00:12:40,761 --> 00:12:42,393
Damn, Steve!
296
00:12:42,395 --> 00:12:45,296
You wake up camera-ready,
lucky dog.
297
00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:48,032
Takes me hours to shake
that "just woke up" look.
298
00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:49,601
No time for what?
299
00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:52,303
And your morning voice
sounds clear as a sparrow!
300
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:53,972
Me?
Forget about it!
301
00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:55,573
No phone calls
before noon.
302
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:57,942
Klaus, I have to get started
on my dad's present.
303
00:12:57,944 --> 00:12:59,778
Damn!
And no morning breath?
304
00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:01,813
Do you sleep
with mints in your mouth?
305
00:13:01,815 --> 00:13:04,682
Now, come on!
You're wasting valuable time!
306
00:13:07,220 --> 00:13:08,887
Where'd all this
come from?
307
00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:12,290
Check
the artist's signature.
308
00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:14,759
"Steve Smith"?
309
00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:16,561
I don't remember
making this.
310
00:13:16,563 --> 00:13:20,165
But that's my heart-dotted "I"
and eyeballs on the S's
311
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:22,000
to make them look like
scary snakes.
312
00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:24,469
Here it is again!
313
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,337
Every night,
your dad resets your memory,
314
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:28,139
so every morning,
you wake up thinking
315
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,942
it's Father's Day again --
and again!
316
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:34,646
Steve, you missed the story
of the boy in the volcano.
317
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:36,948
It riveted the nation
for months!
318
00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:38,616
In the end,
it turned out to be
319
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:41,119
just a goat
in a Starter jacket.
320
00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:43,354
Dad's not gonna get away
with this.
321
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:44,656
Yeah! Dad's lost it.
322
00:13:44,658 --> 00:13:46,124
Klaus,
he's not your dad.
323
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:48,092
Well, well, well.
324
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:49,794
Dad!
No.
325
00:13:49,796 --> 00:13:51,963
Looks like you got it
all figured out.
326
00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:54,365
W-W-Why are you doing this
to us?
327
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,835
W-W-W-W-W-W-W-Why?
Why? Why? Why?
328
00:13:56,837 --> 00:13:59,437
Because you guys can't give me
one decent day,
329
00:13:59,439 --> 00:14:01,206
no matter how many chances
I give you!
330
00:14:01,208 --> 00:14:03,875
Chances? What are you
talking about?
331
00:14:03,877 --> 00:14:05,510
Good morning!
Rockin' Ronnie...
332
00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,712
Dad's been tricking us
into reliving Father's Day
333
00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:09,547
every day
for six months!
334
00:14:09,549 --> 00:14:10,548
(both gasp)
335
00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,283
You brainwashed us?!
336
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:14,118
Oh, of course!
Make it about you!
337
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,653
Well, since you won't
remember this anyway,
338
00:14:15,655 --> 00:14:17,322
I'll get everything
out of my system
339
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:20,024
so I can wake up tomorrow
without being so cheesed off!
340
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:21,626
Go ahead, Steve --
cry!
341
00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:23,461
It'd be weirder
if you didn't!
342
00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:25,230
(gasps)
Go ahead, Hayley --
gasp.
343
00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:26,564
It'd be weirder
if you didn't!
344
00:14:26,566 --> 00:14:27,966
Stan, enough!
345
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,901
Since when is anything
enough for you?
346
00:14:29,903 --> 00:14:32,237
For the last 20 years,
you just sit around
347
00:14:32,239 --> 00:14:34,005
and wait for me
to bring home money.
348
00:14:34,007 --> 00:14:36,241
"I need rugs.
I need bananas."
349
00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:40,011
Stan, stop before you say
something you'll regret.
350
00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:41,846
Oh, I haven't
even started.
351
00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:43,047
¶ I'm the Scatman ¶
352
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:45,250
(scatting)
353
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:52,423
¶ I'm the Scatman ¶
(scatting)
354
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:59,564
(scatting continues)
355
00:15:09,609 --> 00:15:11,009
(click, music stops)
356
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:13,177
You can stop feeling sorry
for yourselves,
357
00:15:13,179 --> 00:15:14,746
because
this never happened.
358
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:16,281
(click)
359
00:15:16,283 --> 00:15:17,882
Starting...now.
(click)
360
00:15:17,884 --> 00:15:19,417
Now!
(click)
361
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,452
Now, now, now, now, now, now,
now, now, now, now, now!
362
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:22,921
Aw, Stan.
363
00:15:22,923 --> 00:15:24,722
When I was grabbing a snack
last night,
364
00:15:24,724 --> 00:15:28,526
I "accidentally" knocked
that thing off the counter
365
00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:31,429
'cause it wasn't
on my radar.
366
00:15:32,565 --> 00:15:34,899
I --
Uh, uh...
367
00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:36,901
And I wasn't really
getting a snack.
368
00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:39,470
That mission was purely
to be a rascal.
369
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:43,241
Although, I did reward myself
with a sleeve of saltines
370
00:15:43,243 --> 00:15:45,310
and four packs
of Gushers.
371
00:15:45,312 --> 00:15:47,312
Happy Father's Day.
372
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:54,485
Hey, guys.
373
00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:55,753
Uh, I know
you didn't think
374
00:15:55,755 --> 00:15:57,922
my jokes earlier
were very funny.
375
00:15:57,924 --> 00:16:00,959
Jokes?! What you said
was unforgivable!
376
00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:02,460
You can't
dissect comedy!
377
00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,729
Anyway, I know you're feeling
a little down,
378
00:16:04,731 --> 00:16:07,732
so I made you one
of my famous apology cakes.
379
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:10,101
Just pretend
SpongeBob is me.
380
00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:13,171
And instead of having amazing
adventures under the sea,
381
00:16:13,173 --> 00:16:15,306
he's sorry
he insulted his family.
382
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:18,343
You don't understand.
We're never getting past this.
383
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:22,146
Okay. I knew there was a small
chance the cake wouldn't work.
384
00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:24,449
But maybe you'll find
this filling more persuasive.
385
00:16:24,451 --> 00:16:27,085
You're all coming with me
to the C.I.A.
386
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:29,253
We have another memory eraser,
and I'm gonna use it
387
00:16:29,255 --> 00:16:31,422
to make you forget
all the things I said --
388
00:16:31,424 --> 00:16:34,425
and the so-called
"gun incident."
389
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:36,160
There's another
memory eraser?!
390
00:16:36,162 --> 00:16:39,030
That might be the only way
we can be a family again.
391
00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:40,798
I think you can
put down the gun, Dad.
392
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:41,966
We all want to forget.
393
00:16:41,968 --> 00:16:43,501
Roger: Ow!
394
00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:49,173
Bad news -- We sold
the other memory neutralizer.
395
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:50,308
No!
396
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:51,709
Wait.
What's in the box, then?
397
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:53,211
Lil' Angelo!
398
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:57,682
Oh, yeah, you missed
the C.I.A. mascot elections.
399
00:16:57,684 --> 00:16:59,650
Gretchen the Guinea Pig
ran a tight race,
400
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,319
but I think
we're still a ways off
401
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:03,488
from electing
a female mascot.
402
00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,623
Dick, do you know who bought
the other neutralizer?
403
00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:07,291
Yeah. Got the receipt
right here.
404
00:17:07,293 --> 00:17:09,060
Some C.I.A. collector
in Ohio.
405
00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:10,728
Ohio?!
406
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:12,730
B-But we only have 24 hours
from when you said those things
407
00:17:12,732 --> 00:17:13,965
to get there!
408
00:17:13,967 --> 00:17:15,566
Yeah, if we don't
make it by morning,
409
00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:18,369
we're gonna remember
all the crap you said forever!
410
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,937
All the jokes.
411
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:26,077
Look, I know I hurt you guys,
but let me make it up to you.
412
00:17:26,079 --> 00:17:28,379
Just because this is a day
that you're all going to forget
413
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:30,048
doesn't mean it can't be
a day to remember.
414
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,349
And then forget.
415
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:33,384
Can you just shut up
and focus on driving?
416
00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,019
Yep.
Driving's pretty cool.
417
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:36,821
You, uh, want to give it
a try, son?
418
00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:38,523
What?
Yeah, you'll be
driving soon.
419
00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:40,058
Stan,
leave him alone.
420
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:42,326
What? I'm doing
something nice -- father/son.
421
00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:43,661
Here,
take the wheel.
422
00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:45,029
(engine revs)
Aah!
423
00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:46,898
(tires screech)
424
00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:49,100
It's just like
one of your video games --
425
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:51,102
the ultimate
video game.
426
00:17:51,104 --> 00:17:54,038
You only have one life --
well, technically, four lives.
427
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,173
Whoop! Guardrail.
428
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,508
(all screaming)
429
00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:01,079
Please tell me
you can fix this.
430
00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:02,680
What makes you think
I can fix --
431
00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:06,017
Oh. 'Cause of the tow truck
and the coveralls.
432
00:18:06,019 --> 00:18:07,552
No, no, no,
I'm not a mechanic.
433
00:18:07,554 --> 00:18:09,020
I'm just a strange man.
434
00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:15,526
Guys,
we got one!
435
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:17,428
Everybody, thumbs out
and look sexy.
436
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,297
We don't know who this is
or what they're into.
437
00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:23,868
(tires screech)
438
00:18:23,870 --> 00:18:27,305
The mouse can never resist
the cheese.
439
00:18:28,308 --> 00:18:30,274
(slurring)
Hey.
440
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:31,609
Hey.
441
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,212
Hey.
What?
442
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:37,215
What's your record
for Tylenol PMs?
443
00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:38,483
What do you mean?
444
00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:40,585
What's the most
you've ever taken?
445
00:18:40,587 --> 00:18:42,487
I've done seven.
446
00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:44,822
Stan, I think it's your turn
to ride shotgun!
447
00:18:44,824 --> 00:18:47,592
Nonsense. My queen
always rides in front.
448
00:18:47,594 --> 00:18:49,494
(smooches)
449
00:18:49,496 --> 00:18:51,362
Hey.
450
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,367
(swallows)
Eight.
451
00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,639
Hey. Hey.
452
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:02,974
We're good.
453
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:05,843
The place we're going
is just right up here.
454
00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:09,347
(groggily)
One more...right here.
455
00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:12,583
27.
456
00:19:18,591 --> 00:19:20,358
Let me just say thanks
to our friend.
457
00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:21,659
He's dead.
We have 10 minutes.
458
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:28,266
Don't get many visitors,
but I'm always happy
459
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,434
to show off
my C.I.A. memorabilia.
460
00:19:30,436 --> 00:19:32,370
Whoa!
Hayley, check it out!
461
00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:34,438
The super crack we introduced
in the '80s.
462
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:37,542
(gasps) Look! Steve!
The real Jason Bourne!
463
00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:42,280
How do I know
how to do this?!
464
00:19:42,282 --> 00:19:45,149
Dad! We only have
four minutes!
465
00:19:45,151 --> 00:19:47,552
I believe this is
what you came for.
466
00:19:47,554 --> 00:19:49,520
Now let's talk about
a fair price.
467
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:54,125
Okay, we only got
30 seconds.
468
00:19:54,127 --> 00:19:55,660
I'll just zap you,
and we can forget
469
00:19:55,662 --> 00:19:57,995
about the worst day
of our lives.
470
00:19:57,997 --> 00:20:01,666
You know, I -- I meant
what I wrote on the cake.
471
00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:04,435
(voice breaking)
"Bad dad...sad."
472
00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:07,672
Aah! That's hot!
473
00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:09,640
Steve, that was
our last chance.
474
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,209
I can't believe
I'm saying this,
475
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:12,977
but we shouldn't
forget this day.
476
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:14,412
Right!
477
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:16,814
Because we made
all these great new memories
478
00:20:16,816 --> 00:20:18,749
today -- as a family!
479
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:21,018
And that's the true meaning
of Father's Day.
480
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:23,588
Are you kidding me?!
Today was a disaster!
481
00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:26,490
Well...
but, then...I'm screwed.
482
00:20:26,492 --> 00:20:28,092
You're gonna hate me
forever.
483
00:20:28,094 --> 00:20:30,761
Yeah, we want you to feel
that way 'cause you've been
484
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:33,431
working your ass off all day
to make things right.
485
00:20:33,433 --> 00:20:35,433
It turns out the only thing
that makes you a good dad
486
00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:37,068
is being a guilty dad.
487
00:20:37,070 --> 00:20:38,402
Yeah.
488
00:20:38,404 --> 00:20:40,605
And that's the true meaning
of Father's Day.
489
00:20:40,607 --> 00:20:41,839
No!!
490
00:20:41,841 --> 00:20:43,608
That's just
a character flaw!
491
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:47,011
Noticing my flaws
and my strengths.
492
00:20:47,013 --> 00:20:49,280
Is...that the true meaning
of Father's Day?
493
00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:51,616
Dad, I'll explain it all in
the back of that guy's pickup.
494
00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:54,051
Or better yet --
why don't you drive?
495
00:20:54,053 --> 00:20:55,553
You know what, guys?
496
00:20:55,555 --> 00:20:58,456
This is easily one
of my favorite Father's Days.
497
00:20:58,458 --> 00:20:59,790
And Christmases.
498
00:20:59,792 --> 00:21:02,193
Did you guys know
it was Christmas?
499
00:21:02,195 --> 00:21:04,161
Bye-bye! See you soon!