1 00:00:03,471 --> 00:00:07,308 [ Laughing ] 2 00:00:07,341 --> 00:00:09,077 What's so funny, dear? 3 00:00:09,110 --> 00:00:11,011 The Memaris got robbed. 4 00:00:11,045 --> 00:00:12,646 Huh, serves them right. 5 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:13,981 I saw them bragging about 6 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,150 their new "smart TV" on Facebook. 7 00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:18,119 [ Laughing ] Not smart enough to keep its owners 8 00:00:18,152 --> 00:00:21,021 from getting brutally pistol-whipped. 9 00:00:21,055 --> 00:00:24,358 [ Laughs ] But seriously, ever since I just heard about 10 00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:26,160 the Memari incident, I've been thinking about 11 00:00:26,194 --> 00:00:28,196 looking into a home security system. 12 00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:29,997 Oh, I don't know, Stan. 13 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,866 We've already got that stick in the sliding window. 14 00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:36,036 Plus, you're always packing. 15 00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,371 True. [ Gun cocks ] 16 00:00:37,405 --> 00:00:38,472 Bam, bam, bam! 17 00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,174 But I shan't always be around 18 00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:41,175 to keep you safe. 19 00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:43,344 [ Gun fires ] 20 00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:44,812 What is all the racket in here? 21 00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:46,980 Stick, no! 22 00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:49,750 Look, Stan, if it makes you feel better, 23 00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:53,354 I'll call TBD Security Company for a consultation. 24 00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:55,356 Guess what? I've been accepted into 25 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,525 a class at Groff Community College. 26 00:00:57,558 --> 00:01:00,328 They're letting me take Introduction to Architecture. 27 00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:02,730 It's going to be -- What the hell happened to Stick? 28 00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,898 He's all messed up! I don't know. 29 00:01:04,932 --> 00:01:06,467 Klaus: Stick, I'm home. 30 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:09,370 Oh, God. Klaus. 31 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:12,072 Klaus, buddy, we have to talk about Stick. 32 00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:13,541 Why? Where's Stick? 33 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,476 Klaus, I'm sorry. I don't want to talk to you. 34 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,111 I want to talk to Stick! 35 00:01:17,145 --> 00:01:21,682 Where's Stick?! Where's Stick?!! 36 00:01:21,715 --> 00:01:23,517 [ Both chuckle ] 37 00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:26,053 ♪♪ 38 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:29,022 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. 39 00:01:29,056 --> 00:01:32,526 ♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪ 40 00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:35,663 ♪ The sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪ 41 00:01:35,696 --> 00:01:40,067 ♪ And he's shinin' a salute to the American race ♪ 42 00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:45,339 ♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say 43 00:01:45,373 --> 00:01:47,775 ♪ Good -- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. 44 00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:48,876 Aah! 45 00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:53,214 ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. 46 00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:57,084 [ Doorbell rings ] 47 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,320 Hi, I'm Vicky from TBD Security. 48 00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:01,355 There's a lady here! 49 00:02:01,822 --> 00:02:04,758 -Oh, hi. You must be -- -Vicky, from TBD Security. 50 00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:08,462 Oh, Vicky, hey. Stan. I'm famous for my open mind, 51 00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:10,364 and we're excited to hear your proposal, 52 00:02:10,398 --> 00:02:11,732 but I have a sinking feeling 53 00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,567 it's going to be terribly inadequate. 54 00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:15,803 Vicky, I can already see that this isn't 55 00:02:15,836 --> 00:02:17,471 going well for you. 56 00:02:17,505 --> 00:02:19,240 So you're telling me, with your system, 57 00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:21,642 a bad guy couldn't get to that window? 58 00:02:21,675 --> 00:02:23,143 The motion detectors will pick up 59 00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:24,645 anything approaching the wall. 60 00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:26,614 Until you get within 10 inches, correct? 61 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,217 Yes, but... But what if, Vicky, 62 00:02:29,250 --> 00:02:30,951 they tunnel right up to the wall, 63 00:02:30,984 --> 00:02:33,587 pop up right here inside that 10-inch pocket? 64 00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:35,088 You'd still have to climb up, 65 00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:37,425 never getting more than 10 inches from the wall. 66 00:02:37,458 --> 00:02:39,660 Like this? 67 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,902 Like this? 68 00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:58,446 Like this? 69 00:02:58,479 --> 00:03:00,781 And now, it's just a matter of coming in the window. 70 00:03:00,814 --> 00:03:03,116 It's a very small window, honey. 71 00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:04,452 Maybe it's better if you don't -- 72 00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:05,953 Don't what? 73 00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:07,355 Dislocate my shoulder so I can fit through? 74 00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:10,391 Like any half-decent second-floor man would? 75 00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:12,159 [ Grunts ] 76 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,594 Aaah! 77 00:03:13,627 --> 00:03:15,996 Like this? 78 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:20,000 Now, to collect your jewels. 79 00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:22,403 I think your system will be plenty. 80 00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:26,707 Ha-ha, these treasury bonds are mine. 81 00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:37,217 Wow, first day of college. Soak it in, Steve. 82 00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:39,320 You'll be boring people with stories about this 83 00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:41,054 for the rest of your life. 84 00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:42,256 What's up? 85 00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:43,657 Wait, you're in this class? 86 00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:46,760 Uh, yeah. Looks that way. 87 00:03:46,794 --> 00:03:49,263 What's, um, class is this? 88 00:03:49,297 --> 00:03:50,864 How do you not know? 89 00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,566 I just keep signing up for whatever 90 00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:53,734 is in this lecture hall. 91 00:03:53,767 --> 00:03:55,002 They ought to name it after me. 92 00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:57,004 [ Chuckles ] That's now it works, Hayley. 93 00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:58,506 They're not just going to rename 94 00:03:58,539 --> 00:04:00,173 Denise Richards Hall. 95 00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:02,343 Ladies and gentlemen, if you could take your seats. 96 00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:04,912 And start your engines, right, Hale? 97 00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:06,179 Oh, she's asleep. [ Snores ] 98 00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:08,349 By the end of Architecture 101, 99 00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:11,885 you will all know the answer to this question -- 100 00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:14,588 Is a car a building? 101 00:04:17,458 --> 00:04:18,926 You don't need to worry, honey. 102 00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:21,529 The new security system is more than enough. 103 00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:23,731 Just focus on your work in San Francisco, 104 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:25,333 and I'll see you in a couple of days. 105 00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:27,435 -Okay. You be safe. -I will. 106 00:04:27,468 --> 00:04:30,538 I'm arming the alarm system right now. 107 00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:32,906 Everyone, I turned on the alarm! 108 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,742 Don't leave your room! 109 00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:38,045 Roger: But I forgot my mouth guard in the bathroom! 110 00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:39,079 [ Beeping ] 111 00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:40,548 Go get it quickly! 112 00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:42,883 [ Door opens, footsteps running, door slams ] 113 00:04:42,916 --> 00:04:45,953 Well, got my mouth guard stuck in my butt again. 114 00:04:45,986 --> 00:04:48,589 Just -- Just go to bed! 115 00:04:51,625 --> 00:04:54,795 Did you know that the Sizzler on Route 6 is a landmark? 116 00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:56,664 Frank Lloyd Wright designed it. 117 00:04:56,697 --> 00:04:59,266 Man, I'm going to nail this test tomorrow. 118 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,068 Hey, you're in college. 119 00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:02,703 You better be nailing something. 120 00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:06,340 Boom! Sounds like you're starting to get over Stick. 121 00:05:07,575 --> 00:05:11,278 [ Sobs ] 122 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,389 [ Creaking ] 123 00:05:21,422 --> 00:05:22,590 What was that? 124 00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:26,326 [ Creaking continues ] 125 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,696 Hello? 126 00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:31,999 [ Dramatic chord strikes ] 127 00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:33,801 [ Screams ] 128 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:37,705 [ Dramatic music plays ] 129 00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:44,177 [ Upbeat rock music plays ] 130 00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:47,481 ♪ I think I'll go for a walk outside now ♪ 131 00:05:47,515 --> 00:05:49,383 ♪ The summer sun's calling my name ♪ 132 00:05:49,417 --> 00:05:51,284 ♪ I hear you now 133 00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:54,221 [ Screaming ] 134 00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:56,189 Now, that's the fear I wanted 135 00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:58,692 when I was telling you we needed a better security system. 136 00:05:58,726 --> 00:06:01,829 Oh, man. We got them but good. 137 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,465 Did we ever! We got you so good. 138 00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:05,966 Had to teach you a lesson, babe. 139 00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:07,367 By the way, happy birthday. 140 00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:08,802 You probably thought I forgot. 141 00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:10,203 Two minutes till midnight. 142 00:06:10,237 --> 00:06:12,506 Swish, count it. 143 00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:20,213 Why?! Why would you do this? 144 00:06:20,247 --> 00:06:22,483 Why? What about how? 145 00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:25,986 How I appeared to be in San Francisco? 146 00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:28,856 Through the magic of posters. 147 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,323 Hey, Joe Montana. 148 00:06:30,357 --> 00:06:32,960 Let's take a cable car to Rice-A-Roni City. 149 00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:35,429 Now I'm back in Langley. 150 00:06:35,463 --> 00:06:37,498 I wonder if I'll ever see the Bay again. 151 00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:39,900 Of course I will. 152 00:06:39,933 --> 00:06:43,003 From Knob Hill to the Mission, this city has got a pulse, 153 00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:45,372 and I'm proud to call it my home. 154 00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:48,375 -Dad is a psycho. -Coit Tower shines 155 00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:51,244 like a beacon. [ Laughs ] 156 00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:53,981 -Mom, are you okay? -I'm furious. 157 00:06:54,014 --> 00:06:55,816 -You should be. -At myself. 158 00:06:55,849 --> 00:06:57,417 -What?! -What? -Yes! 159 00:06:57,451 --> 00:07:00,253 -Your father warned me we weren't going to be safe, 160 00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:03,190 and I was too doggone stubborn to listen. 161 00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:04,692 Your mother is right. 162 00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:07,360 Stan, I want you to stop at nothing 163 00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:09,362 to make sure this house is safe. 164 00:07:09,396 --> 00:07:11,799 Of course, honey. Consider it done. 165 00:07:11,832 --> 00:07:14,067 [ Chainsaw motor whirring ] Who's ready to die?! 166 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:15,903 Shit, I'm late. 167 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:24,878 94, a solid A-frame. 168 00:07:24,912 --> 00:07:26,980 Architecture joke, you wouldn't understand. 169 00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:29,116 Heh, 69. 170 00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:30,450 That's a 96! 171 00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:33,253 96? That's butt to feet. 172 00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,688 Freaky-deaky. 173 00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:37,290 I work my little ass off for everything I get, 174 00:07:37,324 --> 00:07:39,560 and you just show up and sail through? 175 00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:41,328 You remind me of my friend Nerfer. 176 00:07:41,361 --> 00:07:44,865 She's also a little bitch about everything. 177 00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:46,466 Hayley's smart? 178 00:07:46,500 --> 00:07:48,435 She has a friend named Nerfer? 179 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,138 I don't know how many more bombshells I can take. 180 00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:58,011 Excuse me, I'm building my own home security system. 181 00:07:58,045 --> 00:07:59,980 Where do you keep your turrets for, like, 182 00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,414 a Browning 50-cal? 183 00:08:01,448 --> 00:08:04,752 Yeah, we don't carry military-grade weaponry. 184 00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:07,487 Hmm, how about blow darts and bear traps? 185 00:08:07,521 --> 00:08:09,957 Those are over by plumbing. 186 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,424 Thanks. 187 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:17,197 Hmm. 188 00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:18,599 Are you joking me? 189 00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:20,768 No. Plumbing is full of crap. 190 00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:23,837 Plumbing, full of crap... 191 00:08:23,871 --> 00:08:25,773 You are making a joke. 192 00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:29,276 No, I'm not. I swear. 193 00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:31,444 I want to trust you, but I've been burned before. 194 00:08:31,478 --> 00:08:32,980 How about I take you to aisle seven? 195 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,615 Oh, that would be really helpful. 196 00:08:34,648 --> 00:08:36,283 This place is so hard to navigate. 197 00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:38,518 I'm John, by the way. 198 00:08:38,552 --> 00:08:40,353 [ Whispering ] And I'm the man who 199 00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:42,455 turned you into a clown. 200 00:08:42,489 --> 00:08:44,625 No! 201 00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:53,333 [ Laughs ] 202 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:57,404 You're the world's most perfect fool. 203 00:08:57,437 --> 00:08:59,006 [ Drill whirring ] 204 00:08:59,039 --> 00:09:00,874 Security system is all done. 205 00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:04,544 Look at this baby. Could a clown have done this? 206 00:09:04,578 --> 00:09:06,413 Not that anybody has ever called me a clown. 207 00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:08,215 People respect me wherever I go. 208 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:11,685 Clown. [ Laughs ] 209 00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:13,220 I'm glad it's finished. 210 00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:15,689 I've had a hard time sleeping since the home invasion. 211 00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:18,325 Ah, you mean the eye-opening demonstration. 212 00:09:18,358 --> 00:09:20,193 Yes, there are a lot of things out there 213 00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,029 that can hurt you, but now they can't get in. 214 00:09:22,062 --> 00:09:23,063 [ Beep ] 215 00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:25,332 Randomized laser grid. 216 00:09:25,365 --> 00:09:28,501 Turret-mounted rail gun on the roof, 217 00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:31,004 and an oh-so-delicious cheeseburger 218 00:09:31,038 --> 00:09:34,074 dangling on the edge of an industrial-grade wood chipper. 219 00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:37,811 That will turn any meat-loving home invader into mulch, 220 00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:40,914 and controlling it all, I'd like you to meet... 221 00:09:40,948 --> 00:09:43,016 Voice: Hello, my name is Stan. 222 00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:44,952 You named it after yourself? 223 00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:47,855 No, it's S-T-A-A-N, 224 00:09:47,888 --> 00:09:51,258 Secured Tactical Alarm Administrator...N. 225 00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:52,660 What's the "N" stand for? 226 00:09:52,693 --> 00:09:54,695 Nothing, just makes it like my name. 227 00:09:54,728 --> 00:09:56,263 I named it after myself. 228 00:09:59,032 --> 00:10:01,702 Mmm, that new Italian restaurant's cacio de pepe 229 00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:04,204 looks delicious. 230 00:10:04,237 --> 00:10:06,373 Mmm, tastes just like the other place. 231 00:10:06,406 --> 00:10:08,041 We have another test tomorrow, 232 00:10:08,075 --> 00:10:09,877 and she's not even studying. 233 00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:12,379 How is she doing better than me? 234 00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,114 Sounds like what she's doing in class 235 00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,449 is what's known as passive absorption. 236 00:10:16,483 --> 00:10:18,185 She's letting her subconscious 237 00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:19,887 collect all the information. 238 00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:20,921 You should try it. 239 00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,555 Passive absorption... 240 00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:24,224 You're already overthinking it! 241 00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:25,893 Just chill. 242 00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:28,495 Let's put on some Sade and make a pillow fort. 243 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,298 I'm in. 244 00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:35,502 This is the first day of the rest of my super-chill life. 245 00:10:37,738 --> 00:10:41,775 And this is the last day of my super-chill life. 246 00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:44,912 Ah, so many memories. 247 00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:48,248 Why, there was that one time where my dad installed 248 00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:50,684 an alarm system at the house. 249 00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:58,692 STAAN, confirm the house is safe. 250 00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:01,261 [ Scanner whirring ] 251 00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:04,164 -All clear. -Oh. 252 00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:05,265 [ Barking in distance ] 253 00:11:05,298 --> 00:11:07,467 What the hell was that? 254 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:10,570 What are you doing, girl? You going to sit down? 255 00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:12,773 No? Just crouching? 256 00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,407 Oh, my God! 257 00:11:14,441 --> 00:11:16,944 What is coming out of the back of this dog? 258 00:11:16,977 --> 00:11:18,511 Gross! 259 00:11:18,545 --> 00:11:21,448 There's a man walking his dog on our lawn. 260 00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:24,451 What if he's using the dog to case our house? 261 00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:28,756 I read the Moroccan army uses monkeys to test land mines. 262 00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:32,860 STAAN, protect us against small animals and Moroccans. 263 00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:35,295 STAAN: Affirmative. 264 00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:36,864 [ Gunfire ] 265 00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:42,302 [ Music playing in distance ] 266 00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:43,503 Come out, come out. 267 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,505 Get your midnight falafel! 268 00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:48,708 The brown crunchy jewel of Marrakesh. 269 00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:50,510 [ Gunfire ] [ Screams ] 270 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:53,180 [ Engine revs ] 271 00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,883 [ Gunfire continues ] 272 00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:01,254 Unknown party at the door. 273 00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:03,456 [ Gasps ] 274 00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:06,860 Oh, that's just my regular walking group. 275 00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:09,830 They're okay, right? 276 00:12:09,863 --> 00:12:13,133 STAAN, run a background check on Al Tuttle. 277 00:12:13,166 --> 00:12:17,037 Albert Tuttle took a defensive driving class in 1994. 278 00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:20,073 [ Gasps ] That's right before the Oklahoma City bombing. 279 00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:21,975 That can't be a coincidence. 280 00:12:22,009 --> 00:12:24,744 Mrs. Lonstein: Francine, open up. I got to take a pisch. 281 00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:28,381 Esther Lonstein has ties to the Boys and Girls Club, 282 00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:30,183 a known socialist group. 283 00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:31,819 Oh, my God! 284 00:12:31,852 --> 00:12:34,888 I wish I had 100 doors between me and them. 285 00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:36,890 Would you like me to raise threat level? 286 00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:38,926 Yes. Would you like to donate 287 00:12:38,959 --> 00:12:40,928 10 cents to March of Dimes? 288 00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:44,331 Mmm, uh... 289 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,735 Possible threat detected. 290 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:51,905 Stop detecting threats and eliminate them! 291 00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:56,043 Side door delivery, 292 00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:58,211 taking it straight to the doors that matter. 293 00:12:58,245 --> 00:13:00,247 Oh, a cheeseburger! 294 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,582 [ Screams ] 295 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:08,989 Ahh! It's so relaxing to finally feel pure safety. 296 00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:10,223 STAAN: Threat detected. 297 00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:11,558 No! 298 00:13:11,591 --> 00:13:13,726 Protect Mommy! 299 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,796 Follow emergency lights to panic room. 300 00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:18,431 A panic room? 301 00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:21,401 I guess that could be helpful if I ever panic! 302 00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:27,107 [ Sighs ] All right. Let's see what it is. 303 00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,708 Show me the threat. 304 00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:35,315 Um, I think there's been a mistake, STAAN. 305 00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:36,783 That's just Stan. 306 00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,685 STAAN: Correct. He is the most dangerous 307 00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:41,721 threat to your safety, and I must eliminate him. 308 00:13:41,754 --> 00:13:43,924 [ Ominous music plays ] 309 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:50,763 Finally started watching Starz. 310 00:13:50,797 --> 00:13:52,432 I'm a Starz man, now. 311 00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,601 So many almost-good shows. 312 00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:56,703 Just watched them all, "Black Sails," 313 00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:59,572 "DaVinci's Demons," "Survivor's Remorse." 314 00:13:59,606 --> 00:14:01,274 Of course, there's no one to talk to about them 315 00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:03,911 because us Starz men are a rare breed, 316 00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:06,146 but that's the curse of a Starz man. 317 00:14:06,179 --> 00:14:09,149 Well, I -- I don't know if I'm a Starz man, exactly. 318 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:10,450 Roger! Stan! 319 00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:11,851 Oh, I thought I was alone. 320 00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:13,153 I'm embarrassed now. 321 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,854 I was expecting some deliveries today. 322 00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,723 You see anything? 323 00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:18,791 Where's Francine? Francine? 324 00:14:18,825 --> 00:14:20,360 Talking Starz? 325 00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:23,630 That show "Outlander" is outlandish, am I right? 326 00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:24,797 In a good way. 327 00:14:24,831 --> 00:14:26,466 Klaus, you know the rules. 328 00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:27,935 Before you say anything to me, 329 00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,970 you have to try it out on Twitter first 330 00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,204 and get four likes. 331 00:14:31,238 --> 00:14:33,673 I don't have enough followers. 332 00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,575 Them's the rules. You don't like it? 333 00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:37,644 Take it up with society. 334 00:14:39,179 --> 00:14:41,982 But that's Stan. You can't eliminate him. 335 00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:43,183 That's -- that's crazy. 336 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,717 STAAN: Is it, Francine? 337 00:14:44,751 --> 00:14:46,586 Stan's no threat to me. 338 00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:48,321 He filled you with fear. 339 00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:50,057 He infected you with panic, 340 00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:52,725 and he trapped you in a prison of his own design. 341 00:14:56,096 --> 00:14:59,532 Huh, that's true. I have been stressed, 342 00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:02,069 even grinding my teeth a little lately. 343 00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:07,240 Ith Stan to blame for thith? 344 00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:14,614 Steve: Passive absorption, bring me that "A." 345 00:15:14,647 --> 00:15:18,952 Time to access the information from chilling with Klaus. 346 00:15:18,986 --> 00:15:23,856 Klaus: ♪ No need to ask, you're a smooth operator ♪ 347 00:15:23,890 --> 00:15:25,558 ♪ You're freaking smooth 348 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:28,028 ♪ You operator 349 00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:30,430 Come dance with me in the pillow fort, Steve! 350 00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:32,432 Lose the shirt, prude. 351 00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:35,202 There you go. Look at that belly. 352 00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:36,603 Steve: Oh, shit! 353 00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:39,539 I didn't absorb anything about architecture. 354 00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:43,310 Klaus: ♪ Turn your eyes towards your sister's answers ♪ 355 00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:48,115 ♪ Oh, you better cheat, you better cheat off her paper ♪ 356 00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:51,618 ♪ You better cheat off her paper ♪ 357 00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,157 Stan, sit down. 358 00:15:57,190 --> 00:15:59,892 Klaus and I are trying to solve Stick's murder. 359 00:15:59,926 --> 00:16:01,961 The police are sitting on their damn hands! 360 00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:03,230 I've been home for half an hour 361 00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:04,531 and haven't had my cactus cooler 362 00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:06,066 or tray of Vienna sausages. 363 00:16:06,099 --> 00:16:07,734 Where's the woman who brings them to me? 364 00:16:07,767 --> 00:16:08,935 Francine? That's the one. 365 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,070 Where is she? 366 00:16:10,103 --> 00:16:12,039 I shall seek her out upstairs. 367 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,774 [ Alarm beeps ] 368 00:16:14,807 --> 00:16:16,909 Aah! [ Grunts ] 369 00:16:16,943 --> 00:16:18,445 STAAN, what are you doing? 370 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,213 STAAN: Eliminating threat to Francine. 371 00:16:20,247 --> 00:16:23,583 Wait, it thinks I'm a threat? 372 00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:25,818 Light show! 373 00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:28,088 ♪ I took a pill in Ibi-- 374 00:16:28,121 --> 00:16:30,790 Aah! Stan, look it! 375 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,159 We should get out of here. 376 00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:34,927 ♪♪ 377 00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:36,663 Basement! 378 00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:40,600 Hey, guys, don't forget me! 379 00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:44,437 Ooh, very "Dark Side of the Moon." 380 00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:47,774 Ooh, very dangerous for Klaus. 381 00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:50,009 Whoa, whoa, whoa. We've got to shut this down. 382 00:16:50,043 --> 00:16:52,979 STAAN: Manual override requires password input. 383 00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,948 [ Groans ] Is there a password hint? 384 00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:57,684 The password is your address. 385 00:16:57,717 --> 00:17:02,222 You mean I just enter my address to disable you? 386 00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:04,224 Oh, my God. What is it? 387 00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:07,160 Something, something Cherry Street. 388 00:17:07,194 --> 00:17:08,695 [ Groans ] 389 00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:11,564 Stan always handles the business stuff. 390 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,801 Some system you made, Stan. 391 00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:17,870 We got down here totally unscathed. 392 00:17:17,904 --> 00:17:19,639 We were supposed to get down here. 393 00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:22,775 The system is designed to herd intruders into a kill room 394 00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:25,512 where they can be taken out without any risk to the family. 395 00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:26,879 [ Alarm sounds ] 396 00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:28,548 -Aaah! -No use running. 397 00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:30,183 The door will be locked. 398 00:17:30,217 --> 00:17:33,653 Only I could design a system so diabolically brilliant 399 00:17:33,686 --> 00:17:35,288 that even I couldn't defeat it. 400 00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:37,624 I've been doomed by my own greatness, 401 00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:39,859 like that time I made those amazing nachos 402 00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:41,761 that gave us all diarrhea. 403 00:17:43,430 --> 00:17:45,698 Hey, guys, can I talk to you for a second? 404 00:17:45,732 --> 00:17:47,700 I noticed the tests you turned in looked 405 00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,836 exactly the same. 406 00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:52,739 Do you have something to confess, Steve? 407 00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:56,176 No, he doesn't, because it was me. 408 00:17:56,209 --> 00:17:57,444 I cheated. 409 00:17:57,477 --> 00:17:59,078 Well, this is very serious, Hayley. 410 00:17:59,112 --> 00:18:01,414 Wait here while I call the dean. 411 00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:02,682 What are you doing? 412 00:18:02,715 --> 00:18:04,317 No, what are you doing? 413 00:18:04,351 --> 00:18:06,085 Not studying for a test? 414 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:07,720 Are you trying to be like me? 415 00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:09,589 I literally eat garbage. 416 00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:12,525 I ate a plastic bag yesterday. I really liked it. 417 00:18:12,559 --> 00:18:14,261 I'm planning on having another one tomorrow. 418 00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:15,662 Geez, Hayley. 419 00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:18,231 Also, I've taken this class six times. 420 00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:21,301 You're lucky I caught the dean at happy hour. 421 00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,102 We worked out a fair deal. 422 00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:24,771 We'll forget the whole thing 423 00:18:24,804 --> 00:18:26,206 if you give us $40 right now. 424 00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:29,108 Make this right. I've only got $36. 425 00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:31,178 Dean, happy hour ain't over! 426 00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:32,512 Order me a double Jack and ginger 427 00:18:32,545 --> 00:18:34,113 and put a quarter on the pool table. 428 00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:36,949 Hot damn, we're rich, Dean! 429 00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:40,253 Okay, I'll get it this time. 430 00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:42,289 Michael Jackson! 431 00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:45,825 Ah, so close. Okay, one more, one more. 432 00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:48,228 Shamone! 433 00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:50,330 Pretty cool, Roger, but we're going to die. 434 00:18:50,363 --> 00:18:51,798 Whew, thanks. 435 00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:54,467 That was not a good feeling, but one more. 436 00:18:54,501 --> 00:18:56,403 Shamone! 437 00:18:57,170 --> 00:18:59,306 You can't think these guys are a threat. 438 00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:00,940 STAAN: Stan makes you afraid. 439 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:03,976 But what I'm most afraid of is losing him, 440 00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:05,778 and he's the same way. 441 00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:08,915 That's why he tries so hard to protect me. 442 00:19:08,948 --> 00:19:12,985 Yeah, sometimes he goes overboard, but that's love. 443 00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:15,388 So that's love? 444 00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:17,724 Yes. I understand. 445 00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:20,727 I love the oven, Francine. 446 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:23,095 It's so small. It's so cute. 447 00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:25,164 What? After I murder your husband, 448 00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:26,999 you're welcome to live in the house, 449 00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:30,270 oiling my various gears and watching me bang the oven. 450 00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:32,004 I've got to turn you off. 451 00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:34,507 With that spicy little Kitchen Aid in the house? 452 00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:36,343 Good luck. [ Grunts ] 453 00:19:36,376 --> 00:19:37,844 You cannot open the door. 454 00:19:37,877 --> 00:19:41,281 But I can kick through my particle board closet. 455 00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:43,983 ♪♪ 456 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,686 [ Grunts ] 457 00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:49,155 Klaus, read our address off the mailbox! 458 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:51,491 I already know it! 459 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:53,192 I guess this is it, Roger. 460 00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:54,694 Well, actually, I can breathe water. 461 00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:56,596 So it's just it for you, 462 00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:59,131 but I promise I will be very respectful to your body 463 00:19:59,165 --> 00:20:01,268 for the first 10 minutes. 464 00:20:01,301 --> 00:20:10,977 ♪♪ 465 00:20:11,010 --> 00:20:20,653 ♪♪ 466 00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:30,363 ♪♪ 467 00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:33,232 [ Gags, coughs ] 468 00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:37,670 416 Cherry Street. That's where we live. 469 00:20:40,273 --> 00:20:42,675 I'm sorry I put you through all this, Francine. 470 00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:45,111 I know you just want to take care of me, 471 00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:47,414 but I can take care of myself, 472 00:20:47,447 --> 00:20:51,484 and sometimes, I can even take care of you. 473 00:20:51,518 --> 00:20:54,654 Stan, is this the guy who called you a clown? 474 00:20:54,687 --> 00:20:55,788 Yeah. 475 00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:57,890 Who's a clown now, asshole? 476 00:20:57,924 --> 00:20:59,426 [ Grunting ] 477 00:20:59,459 --> 00:21:02,529 Mess him up, Francine! 478 00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:04,364 Have a great night!