1
00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:02,703
(snoring)

2
00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:06,174
(groaning)

3
00:00:06,274 --> 00:00:08,409
(rooster crows)

4
00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:13,181
(Beck's "Mixed Bizness" plays)

5
00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:14,182
(screams)

6
00:00:14,282 --> 00:00:16,016
♪♪

7
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:20,421
♪ I'm mixing business
with leather ♪

8
00:00:20,521 --> 00:00:23,691
♪ Christmas with Heather ♪

9
00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:27,195
♪ Freaks flock together ♪

10
00:00:27,295 --> 00:00:31,199
♪ And making
all the B-boys scream ♪

11
00:00:31,299 --> 00:00:32,933
♪ All right ♪

12
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,702
♪ All right ♪

13
00:00:34,802 --> 00:00:36,537
♪ Turn it up now ♪

14
00:00:36,637 --> 00:00:38,306
♪ Turn it up now ♪

15
00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:40,040
♪ All right ♪

16
00:00:40,141 --> 00:00:41,609
♪ All right ♪

17
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:43,711
♪ Turn it up now ♪

18
00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:45,379
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

19
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:48,716
♪♪

20
00:00:48,816 --> 00:00:51,919
Jackie Kanken --
poorly reviewed eBay seller.

21
00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:54,222
Eric Reynolds --
tall fifth-grader.

22
00:00:54,322 --> 00:00:57,591
Quentin Poundridge --
Puerto Rican hand model.

23
00:00:57,691 --> 00:00:59,093
♪♪

24
00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:01,095
♪ All right ♪

25
00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:02,630
♪ All right ♪

26
00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,765
♪ Turn it up now ♪

27
00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:06,567
♪ Turn it up now ♪

28
00:01:06,667 --> 00:01:08,136
♪ All right ♪

29
00:01:08,236 --> 00:01:09,470
♪ All right ♪

30
00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,472
♪ Turn it up now ♪

31
00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:12,940
Lord, what a day.

32
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:15,176
I have earned
my Bud Light Chelada.

33
00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:17,010
I'll tell you that much.
So, what's happening?

34
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:19,012
Not happy hour.
That's for sure.

35
00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:20,314
It ended four minutes ago.

36
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,350
Geez, Stan! Okay!
Sorry I'm late.

37
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:25,085
I had to pay two extra bucks
for the jalapeño poppers,

38
00:01:25,186 --> 00:01:27,255
like I'm George friggin' Soros
over here.

39
00:01:27,355 --> 00:01:29,190
What -- What's that bump
on your forehead?

40
00:01:29,290 --> 00:01:32,193
This? Oh, it's nothing.
Just an ingrown eyebrow hair.

41
00:01:32,293 --> 00:01:33,661
Listen, I'm sorry I was late,

42
00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:36,430
but I promise you now have
my undivided attention.

43
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:38,299
It's just that
I always go out of my way

44
00:01:38,399 --> 00:01:40,968
-to show up on time when --
-For the next four seconds.

45
00:01:41,068 --> 00:01:43,604
Three, two, one.
Okay! Gotta go.

46
00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:47,141
Few more items to cross off
the old to-do list.

47
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:48,642
Late!

48
00:01:49,477 --> 00:01:52,780
Nacho Bartiromo, serial killer.

49
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,048
Hyah!

50
00:01:55,149 --> 00:01:56,116
(woman screams)

51
00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:58,852
♪♪

52
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:01,889
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪

53
00:02:01,989 --> 00:02:05,459
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪

54
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:08,329
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪

55
00:02:08,429 --> 00:02:12,633
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪

56
00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:18,172
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪

57
00:02:21,309 --> 00:02:24,712
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell
to say... ♪

58
00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:26,880
(music fades)

59
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:30,584
Damn it, Roger!

60
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:31,652
(horn honks)

61
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:35,088
You snooze, you lose, Stan!
I'm taking your spot today!

62
00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:36,156
(laughing)

63
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:37,825
(grunts)

64
00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:41,028
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪

65
00:02:43,597 --> 00:02:45,599
Oh, looks like
they're putting in

66
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:47,401
a new Yankee Candle this fall.

67
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:48,436
Not too shabby.

68
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:50,771
Roger! I have been looking
all over town for you.

69
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:53,541
(speaking Cantonese)

70
00:02:53,641 --> 00:02:55,909
(speaking Cantonese)

71
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:06,387
She's the love of my life,

72
00:03:06,487 --> 00:03:08,589
but good grief,
can she be a handful.

73
00:03:08,689 --> 00:03:10,524
Every single day,
I get out of bed

74
00:03:10,624 --> 00:03:11,892
and sing my good morning song

75
00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:14,862
so that I can face the coming
workday with gusto, zest,

76
00:03:14,962 --> 00:03:16,964
and most importantly,
of course, verve.

77
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:18,632
And all I ask of you is --

78
00:03:18,732 --> 00:03:20,067
Geez, Roger, you sure
you don't want to get

79
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:21,469
that thing on your head
checked out?

80
00:03:21,569 --> 00:03:23,571
What, this?
I told you. It's nothing.

81
00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:25,606
Look, I'm sorry I flaked
on your little song,

82
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,741
but I've been feeling
a little sluggish lately.

83
00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:29,377
Probably because
you're goofing off all the time

84
00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:30,744
doing your "personas."

85
00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:32,079
Goofing off?

86
00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:34,582
I'll have you know I got up
at 4:30 this morning

87
00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:35,749
to get into character

88
00:03:35,849 --> 00:03:38,386
as Russian banana inspector
Olladouis Goofoff.

89
00:03:38,486 --> 00:03:40,220
Does that sound like goofing off
to you?

90
00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:42,623
I never flake on you,
and I have a real job.

91
00:03:42,723 --> 00:03:43,924
What I do matters.

92
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:45,326
What I do matters, too!

93
00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:46,827
Oh, right, it really matters

94
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,896
whether or not you run around
all day blowing guys.

95
00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:52,466
That is only a very large part
of what I do.

96
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:54,668
People depend on my personas,
Stan.

97
00:03:54,768 --> 00:03:55,936
It might not seem like it,

98
00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:58,506
but this town would fall apart
without me.

99
00:03:58,606 --> 00:03:59,507
Come on, Eu-Meh.

100
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,743
Let's go to the Disney Store and
take a nap on that big Simba.

101
00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:04,011
Ugh!

102
00:04:06,580 --> 00:04:07,681
(up-tempo jazz plays)

103
00:04:07,781 --> 00:04:09,617
♪ It don't mean a thing ♪

104
00:04:09,717 --> 00:04:12,252
♪ If it ain't got that swing ♪

105
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:15,789
♪ Do-wap, do-wap, do-wap, do-
wap, do-wap, do-wap, do-wah ♪

106
00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:18,125
♪ Skiddily-diddly-deet-da ♪

107
00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:20,160
♪ Skee-ba-da-dee-dat-oh ♪

108
00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,330
♪ A-bobbity-skoo, bobbity-skoo ♪

109
00:04:22,430 --> 00:04:24,698
♪ A hamba-beeba-seepah,
da-dee-dat ♪

110
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:26,934
♪ Diddily-diddily-diddily-
diddily-doh ♪

111
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:29,770
Smith, that sweet and sassy
speed-scatting

112
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:32,606
is exactly why I asked you
to join the swing choir.

113
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,542
The honor is all mine.

114
00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:36,444
Every since I got
to Pearl Bailey,

115
00:04:36,544 --> 00:04:40,147
it's been a dream of mine
to join Jazzma Attack.

116
00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:41,682
Well, we're going to be
counting on

117
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:45,018
that mile-a-minute mouth magic
of yours at the state finals.

118
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,987
Now hit the showers, maggots!

119
00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:49,189
(water running)

120
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:53,193
-(inhales deeply)
-(gasps)

121
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:55,896
Are you doing drugs?!

122
00:04:55,996 --> 00:05:00,300
I'm doing what it takes
for Jazzma Attack to succeed.

123
00:05:00,401 --> 00:05:01,969
You gotta juice that scat speed

124
00:05:02,069 --> 00:05:04,071
if you want to compete
at a state level.

125
00:05:04,171 --> 00:05:05,573
And you better take 'em,
too, kid,

126
00:05:05,673 --> 00:05:07,508
unless you're not
truly committed to swing choir.

127
00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:08,509
Easy, Tyler.

128
00:05:09,610 --> 00:05:10,844
As the old saw goes,
you can lead a horse to water,

129
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:12,179
but you can't make him drink.

130
00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:13,313
Well put, Marcus.

131
00:05:16,550 --> 00:05:18,085
Get with the program, Smith.

132
00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:21,021
Even your buddy Barry
is mainlining testosterone

133
00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:24,024
to get that boomin'
bassy baritone.

134
00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:25,893
Shh.

135
00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:29,096
(deep voice)
Nobody tell.

136
00:05:31,699 --> 00:05:34,702
Wait.
The dog's name is Marmaduke?

137
00:05:35,769 --> 00:05:36,904
'Sup, my ninjas?!

138
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:37,938
Jesus, Roger!

139
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:39,239
Oh, my God!

140
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:41,174
Do you want me to call you
an ambulance?

141
00:05:41,274 --> 00:05:44,044
Why? Planning on making
that meat loaf of yours tonight?

142
00:05:44,144 --> 00:05:45,913
(laughs)
Man.

143
00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,781
Roger, you have a tumor
on your head.

144
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:48,949
You need to see a doctor.

145
00:05:49,049 --> 00:05:50,718
What? Why?!
I'm fine.

146
00:05:50,818 --> 00:05:53,053
Plus, I just have so much to do.

147
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:56,023
(grunts) Alexa, what's left
on my schedule for today?

148
00:05:56,123 --> 00:05:57,190
KLAUS:
You have a 3:15

149
00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:58,892
as traveling nurse
DeAndre Comadendo.

150
00:05:58,992 --> 00:05:59,927
Then after that --

151
00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,696
Klaus?
Did you hollow out Roger's Echo?

152
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:05,466
What?! No way!
I'm not Klaus.

153
00:06:05,566 --> 00:06:07,100
It's me, Alexa, bro!

154
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:11,405
Alexa, who was the fourth
emperor of the Ming Dynasty?

155
00:06:11,505 --> 00:06:12,640
Um...

156
00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:16,109
Chickety-China,
the...Chinese chicken?

157
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,145
Huh.
That could be right.

158
00:06:18,245 --> 00:06:19,212
(sniffing)

159
00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:21,314
Who's scorching
all that copper wire?

160
00:06:21,415 --> 00:06:22,883
Smells great.
(grunts)

161
00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:24,418
Roger, listen to me.

162
00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:26,086
(voice distorted) You need to go
to a doctor right now!

163
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:27,154
You could be dying!

164
00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:30,658
Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz.
That's you. (laughs)

165
00:06:30,758 --> 00:06:32,960
Well, on you catch
the side flip.

166
00:06:35,763 --> 00:06:38,331
ROGER:
(grunts) What happened?

167
00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:40,333
Roger, you almost died.

168
00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:43,136
We got you to Dr. Kalgary
in just the nick of time.

169
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:45,673
Yes, one scant moment longer,

170
00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:48,976
and this festering
mass of disease

171
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:53,814
would surely have claimed
your soul for the damned.

172
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,983
By the way, can I offer you
a La Croix or something?

173
00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:58,619
Billy!
Get our guest a La Croix!

174
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,990
There's no cold ones!

175
00:07:03,090 --> 00:07:05,693
What?! Why didn't you put
any in earlier?!

176
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:08,529
You left an empty case in here!

177
00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:11,799
I don't have X-ray vision!

178
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:14,134
Yes, you do, Billy!
(growls)

179
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:17,471
Billy, sometimes you just
make me so mad!

180
00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:19,106
-Can I keep that?
-Sure!

181
00:07:19,206 --> 00:07:21,041
Whoop!
Don't try to get up.

182
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,711
You're in an extremely
fragile state.

183
00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:28,048
You'll need absolute rest
and relaxation for several days!

184
00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:31,118
Anything we can do to help while
you recover, Roger, we'll do it.

185
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:32,452
Right, Stan?

186
00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:34,555
Absolutely anything.
Just name it.

187
00:07:34,655 --> 00:07:39,392
Good, because Stan, I need you
to take over my personas.

188
00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:44,031
Oh-h-h-h-h-h, shi-i-i-i-i-i-t!

189
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:51,304
Stan, thanks again
for taking time off from work

190
00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:52,540
to cover my personas.

191
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:54,808
It'll really put my mind at ease
while I'm convalescing

192
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:56,977
at the famed
Chimdale Hot Springs.

193
00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:59,312
My cousin committed
suicide there.

194
00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:00,981
It's beautiful.

195
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:04,351
All of my personas
are of crucial importance.

196
00:08:04,451 --> 00:08:06,520
Messing up
even the tiniest detail

197
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,388
could have
disastrous consequences.

198
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:09,857
Uh-huh.
Tiniest detail. Got it.

199
00:08:09,957 --> 00:08:12,059
Now, before you put on
any of my costumes,

200
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:15,195
you'll first need to get
into this alien-skin body suit.

201
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:16,697
It hides who you really are

202
00:08:16,797 --> 00:08:18,699
so the personas
are all that people see.

203
00:08:18,799 --> 00:08:19,767
Right. Right. Cool.

204
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:21,769
Oh, and stay out of this box
over here.

205
00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:24,437
It's full of some personal stuff
I don't want you getting into.

206
00:08:24,538 --> 00:08:26,607
Retired characters,
my mineral rights,

207
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:29,509
"Cougartown" DVD box set
signed by Larry Bird.

208
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,879
Did Dick and Buckle
go to Houston together?

209
00:08:31,979 --> 00:08:33,581
ROGER: Yeah.
Tuttle's mom lives there.

210
00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:35,182
Stan, are you paying attention?

211
00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:36,416
Yeah. Roger, I got it.

212
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,218
I'm gonna put on
a stupid gray suit,

213
00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:39,419
dance around like an idiot,

214
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,121
and do everything
on your dumb list.

215
00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:42,522
Technically, that's correct,

216
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:44,291
but I'm not liking
your attitude.

217
00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:46,059
You're not taking this
seriously.

218
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:48,295
I guess I'll just have to stay
and do it myself.

219
00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:49,930
(groans)

220
00:08:50,030 --> 00:08:52,099
Careful, Roger!
Geez!

221
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,067
All right. I promise
I'll take it seriously.

222
00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:55,569
Okay.
Then I'm off.

223
00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:58,205
Be a doll and hand me my tumor.

224
00:08:58,305 --> 00:08:59,607
I've gotten kind of attached
to it.

225
00:08:59,707 --> 00:09:01,909
I even gave it a name --
Rogu!

226
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:03,043
Isn't he cute?

227
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:05,078
Kiss him.
Come on! Kiss him!

228
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:07,114
I'm not leaving
till you give him a little kiss.

229
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:09,950
-I will not kiss him.
-Well, then I'll kiss him.

230
00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:13,420
Now if you kiss me,
it'll be like you kissed him.

231
00:09:17,390 --> 00:09:19,660
What do you think of that, Rogu?

232
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,162
♪♪

233
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:24,832
Now I don't come lightly
to tattlin', sir,

234
00:09:24,932 --> 00:09:27,567
but, well,
while I myself am not,

235
00:09:27,668 --> 00:09:31,404
some members of Jazzma Attack
are taking...

236
00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:33,573
swing-enhancing drugs.

237
00:09:33,674 --> 00:09:35,743
This is extremely disturbing
news, Smith.

238
00:09:35,843 --> 00:09:38,946
When it comes to drugs, I have
a zero-tolerance policy --

239
00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:40,313
for not taking them!

240
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,915
(piano clangs)

241
00:09:42,015 --> 00:09:46,654
Was your desk...
a piano...before?

242
00:09:46,754 --> 00:09:48,989
My office has always been
like this!

243
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,791
State is right around
the corner,

244
00:09:50,891 --> 00:09:52,626
and we're going up against
our archrivals

245
00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:53,861
from Virginia Beach High,

246
00:09:53,961 --> 00:09:56,797
Jazz Good Jazz It Gets,
"It" In This Case Being Jazz.

247
00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:59,667
So it goes without saying
I need a "W" here.

248
00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:02,936
You either take the drugs
or you don't take the stage.

249
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:05,706
Now, Steve, what do you think
about this?

250
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:08,275
Just a little something
I've been working on.

251
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:09,276
Hmm.

252
00:10:09,376 --> 00:10:11,712
♪ The love of a woman ♪

253
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:14,715
♪ Is a strange beast ♪

254
00:10:14,815 --> 00:10:16,116
That's all I've got so far.

255
00:10:16,216 --> 00:10:19,653
I'm hoping to sell it to Disney
for one of their cartoons.

256
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:22,222
♪♪

257
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:25,893
Okay. Ronald Peechotka,
baseball card guy.

258
00:10:25,993 --> 00:10:28,561
Whip down display cases.
Check.

259
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:31,231
Talk up the Steve Balboni
rookie card by the register,

260
00:10:31,331 --> 00:10:33,901
frequently using the word
"cherry" as an adjective.

261
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,202
(whistles)

262
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:37,504
Hey, how 'bout
this Balboni here, huh?

263
00:10:37,604 --> 00:10:39,707
-Sweet as a cherry.
-Sure is. Okay.

264
00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:42,542
Ron, I'm gonna have to lock up
here in about five for lunch.

265
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:44,712
What?
Do I not work here?

266
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:47,514
What?! No!
I work here.

267
00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,683
You're just some creep.

268
00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:51,051
This is so pointless!

269
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,519
ROGER:
It is not pointless!

270
00:10:52,619 --> 00:10:54,054
Roger?
Where are you?

271
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:55,588
In the serenity suite

272
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:59,059
at the legendary Chimdale
Hot Springs Hotel and Spa.

273
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:01,428
I sewed an earpiece
into your skin suit.

274
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:03,697
Now, go ask Randy
if you can use his phone

275
00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:05,265
to make a long-distance call.

276
00:11:05,365 --> 00:11:06,666
Ugh!

277
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:09,269
I can handle your workload
without any help.

278
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:11,438
(gasps)
Stan, I just saw a deer!

279
00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:15,408
Or is that an elk?
Or a moose? A horse?

280
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,177
Oh! It's a picnic table.

281
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:18,611
Stan?

282
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:20,613
(clanging, liquid spilling)

283
00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:22,916
That's odd.

284
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,618
(Beck's "Mixed Bizness" plays)

285
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:34,394
♪♪

286
00:11:34,494 --> 00:11:36,263
♪ All right ♪

287
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,564
(groans)

288
00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:42,102
Andy Glan,
former J.Crew employee.

289
00:11:42,202 --> 00:11:43,971
(breathing heavily)

290
00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:48,441
Dr. Dante Octavarius,
seahorse breeder.

291
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:52,212
Chunk Dunkirk,
incontinent jai alai instructor.

292
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:54,481
"Incontinent jai alai
instructor"?

293
00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:56,449
Incontinent jai alai instructor.

294
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:58,618
All right, I'm calling it!

295
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:03,323
Well...♪ Who puts the meth
into Beth, my best alto? ♪

296
00:12:03,423 --> 00:12:06,426
♪ Who gives the 'rone that makes
Barry very baritone? ♪

297
00:12:06,526 --> 00:12:08,595
♪ Yes, it's me ♪

298
00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:11,731
♪ Now, Smith,
take these P.E.D.s ♪

299
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:16,236
♪ You have to for the good
of the whole team ♪

300
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,806
♪ Yeah ♪

301
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:24,778
-Long day?
-Yeah.

302
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:27,647
And I didn't even get halfway
through Roger's stupid list.

303
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:30,283
"Doug Nugget,
unlicensed grief counselor.

304
00:12:30,383 --> 00:12:32,252
Take rollerblades in
for repair."

305
00:12:32,352 --> 00:12:34,822
It's all even more pointless
than I thought!

306
00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:37,657
"Take rollerblades in
for repair."

307
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:41,628
(insects chirping)

308
00:12:41,728 --> 00:12:44,364
(Italian accent) Well,
it's time to face the fact.

309
00:12:44,464 --> 00:12:46,633
Doug Nugget's a-not coming.

310
00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:49,669
We won't be able to afford
Ma's surgery.

311
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,771
This ain't right!

312
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:55,675
You want breast implants, Ma,
I'll get you the money!

313
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,177
(bell chimes)

314
00:12:57,277 --> 00:12:58,678
Gimme all the money!

315
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,148
-(register chimes)
-(gasps)

316
00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:03,783
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God,
oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!

317
00:13:03,884 --> 00:13:05,218
(insects chirping)

318
00:13:05,318 --> 00:13:08,856
Liquor store we run
protection on just got hit.

319
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:10,390
Had to be the Russians.

320
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,125
We strike back hard.

321
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:15,028
I don't know if Johnny Lasagna
would be too keen on that.

322
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:17,330
Well, Johnny Lasagna ain't here,
is he?!

323
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,235
(engine cranking)

324
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:24,404
Ach.
Borschky dorshky.

325
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,408
I'm okay!

326
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:30,410
-(folk music playing)
-(whispering)

327
00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:31,979
Borschky-dorshky!

328
00:13:32,079 --> 00:13:33,746
Had to be the Irish.

329
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:35,648
(engine starts)

330
00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:40,253
O'borschky o'dorshky!

331
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:42,389
This means war!

332
00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:48,028
("Good Morning, U.S.A." plays)

333
00:13:48,128 --> 00:13:51,098
-(music stops)
-(gunfire, sirens wailing)

334
00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:53,233
GREG:
It seems to have all started

335
00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:55,702
with a botched robbery
committed by the desperate son

336
00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:57,604
of a humble
rollerblade cobbler.

337
00:13:57,704 --> 00:13:59,873
Tale as old as time.

338
00:13:59,973 --> 00:14:03,543
-(gunfire, woman screaming)
-(weakly) ♪ Good morning... ♪

339
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:05,946
♪ U.S.A. ♪

340
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:10,183
(gunshots, sirens wailing)

341
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:12,719
Stan, the town is falling apart!

342
00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:16,223
Just call Roger up, admit that
his personas do matter,

343
00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:17,624
and ask him what to do.

344
00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:19,259
No!
I can still handle this.

345
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:20,894
I'll just finish the list now,

346
00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:23,563
and then everything will go
back to normal.

347
00:14:23,663 --> 00:14:25,198
Oh, sick!

348
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:26,599
No way!

349
00:14:29,302 --> 00:14:30,570
-(grunts)
-Get a grip, man!

350
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:31,604
It's too late!

351
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:34,707
There's not one thing you can do
to fix things now!

352
00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:38,611
Although there may be one thing.

353
00:14:38,711 --> 00:14:40,747
(siren wailing,
helicopter passing)

354
00:14:40,847 --> 00:14:42,115
Hey, Franny!

355
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:44,985
I'm back from the hot springs
and feeling better than ever.

356
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:46,386
And I saw a picnic table!

357
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:48,655
Roger! Thank God!
Listen.

358
00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:52,125
Stan fell behind
doing all your...

359
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:57,597
...all your personas,
and then everything went...

360
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:01,768
...to hell, and now the...

361
00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:04,071
n-now the whole...

362
00:15:04,171 --> 00:15:05,305
I'm sorry.

363
00:15:05,405 --> 00:15:06,573
What in the living (bleep)
is that?

364
00:15:06,673 --> 00:15:07,941
Oh, isn't it great?

365
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:11,078
My tumor came to life, and now
I've got a little homunculus.

366
00:15:11,178 --> 00:15:12,412
His name's Rogu.

367
00:15:12,512 --> 00:15:15,315
Rogu.

368
00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:17,917
'Sup, Hayley?
This is my homunculus, Rogu.

369
00:15:18,018 --> 00:15:19,752
Jeff, my homunculus, Rogu.

370
00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:22,022
No need to worry about
the chaos outside, Franny.

371
00:15:22,122 --> 00:15:24,124
I kind of figured something
like this would happen.

372
00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:26,926
I was so sick of Stan saying
what I did didn't matter.

373
00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:29,629
I wanted him to see for himself
how much it does.

374
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:33,500
Rogu love Daddy.

375
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,268
(gags)

376
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:37,604
(chewing loudly)

377
00:15:37,704 --> 00:15:40,107
He loves his blue stuff.

378
00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:42,642
I promise I will fix everything
just as soon as I get

379
00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:44,978
all these turquoise knick-knacks
put away.

380
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:46,779
I scored at the hot springs --

381
00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:50,117
(gasps) Rogu,
are you seeing what I'm seeing?

382
00:15:50,217 --> 00:15:53,153
Stan dressed up in the tough-guy
outfit he found in there

383
00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:55,522
and went out to deal
with all the Mob bosses.

384
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,390
We're all in great danger.

385
00:15:57,490 --> 00:16:00,027
That's not just any tough-guy.
It's...

386
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:02,529
WOMAN:
(whispering) Ricky Spanish.

387
00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,297
That's right, bitches.

388
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,733
Ricky Spanish is back!

389
00:16:06,833 --> 00:16:09,036
And it's all thanks to Klaus.

390
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:13,173
Who's your least-favorite
character now, Reddit?

391
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,675
(down-tempo music plays)

392
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:18,345
(Russian accent) Gentlemen,
if we divvy up the town,

393
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:20,813
a truce could be beneficial
to all of us.

394
00:16:20,913 --> 00:16:24,751
(chuckling)

395
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,256
Milton Berle once said,

396
00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:31,358
"Laughter is an instant
vacation."

397
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:33,826
He had a real thick hog.
Did you guys know that?

398
00:16:33,926 --> 00:16:35,328
Ricky Spanish?

399
00:16:35,428 --> 00:16:37,397
What the hell
are you doing here?

400
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:39,999
(dramatic music plays)

401
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:41,368
(all coughing)

402
00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:44,404
WOMAN:
(whispering) Licky Anus.

403
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:47,006
That was supposed to say
"Ricky Spanish"!

404
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:48,108
Good work, Stan.

405
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:50,210
Now the town can go back
to normal...

406
00:16:50,310 --> 00:16:53,713
if you'll just take off
the Ricky Spanish costume.

407
00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:58,251
No.
I'm not taking off the costume.

408
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:04,591
I'm taking over the town...
and unleashing utter chaos!

409
00:17:04,691 --> 00:17:06,359
WOMAN:
(whispering) Ricky Spanish.

410
00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:07,427
(glass breaking)

411
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,297
-(whispering) Ricky Spanish.
-(elephant trumpets)

412
00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:13,266
-(whispering) Ricky Spanish.
-(cow lows)

413
00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:15,402
(siren wailing in distance )

414
00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:17,937
(tiger roars, man screaming)

415
00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:21,774
Uh, check, please.

416
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,076
Am I using that correctly?

417
00:17:23,176 --> 00:17:24,911
Roger, you have to stop him.

418
00:17:25,011 --> 00:17:28,381
Right, and I only have
one persona as powerful,

419
00:17:28,481 --> 00:17:29,949
-as dangerous...
-(burps)

420
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,151
Oh, cute!

421
00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:35,822
...as apocalyptically
destructive as Ricky Spanish.

422
00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:38,325
(dramatic music plays)

423
00:17:38,425 --> 00:17:40,260
(whistling)

424
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:41,628
ROGER:
Hey, Spanish!

425
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,430
Well!

426
00:17:43,530 --> 00:17:45,732
If it isn't my archnemesis...

427
00:17:46,799 --> 00:17:48,435
...Jeannie Gold.

428
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:50,137
Yes, it is I --

429
00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:52,605
incontinent wedding planner
Jeannie Gold,

430
00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:55,842
who is, of course, also...
your sister!

431
00:17:55,942 --> 00:18:00,780
(gasps)
So many things make sense now.

432
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,450
Your reign of terror ends now.

433
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:05,985
-Ra-a-a-a-a-ah!
-Ah-h-h-h-h-h...

434
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,287
Ra-a-a-a-a-ah!

435
00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:08,521
Ah-h-h-h-h-h...

436
00:18:08,621 --> 00:18:09,789
-Ra-a-a-a-a-ah!
-Ah-h-h-h-h-h...

437
00:18:11,158 --> 00:18:13,860
♪ It don't mean a thing
if it ain't got that swing ♪

438
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:17,664
♪ Do-wap, do-wap, do-wap, do-
wap, do-wap, do-wap, do-wah ♪

439
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,432
♪ Zwabada-hommina,
biddyguh-goudy doo ♪

440
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,000
♪ Zipbap-zipbap, bo ♪

441
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,869
♪ Ziddy-dooddily-boodily-
dooddilly-boodily-hey ♪

442
00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:24,637
♪ A-ziddily-doddily-boodily,
goddily-hey ♪

443
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:26,539
♪ A-doodle-dop-beetle,
skee-ba-ba-dee-bum ♪

444
00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:28,708
♪ Diddily-diddily-diddily-
diddily-doh, ba-dow ♪

445
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,009
♪ A-zoop bop, bee-dop,
dee-dop a diddly-oop ♪

446
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,511
♪ Beetle-op boodle-hey ♪

447
00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:34,046
♪ Hey, be-dop, be-dop
zoop bop diddle-hey ♪

448
00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:37,116
(scatting rapidly)

449
00:18:37,217 --> 00:18:44,824
♪♪

450
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:47,227
(scatting continues,
speed increasing)

451
00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:54,033
♪♪

452
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,835
♪ Bop ♪

453
00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:58,571
(dramatic music plays)

454
00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:03,142
(groans)

455
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:07,414
ROGU:
Rogu save Daddy.

456
00:19:07,514 --> 00:19:10,983
WOMAN:
(whispering) Rogu Spanish.

457
00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:12,051
(grunting)

458
00:19:12,151 --> 00:19:13,085
Rogu!

459
00:19:14,387 --> 00:19:16,356
Did you make that little Ricky
Spanish outfit all by yourself?

460
00:19:16,456 --> 00:19:17,724
That is so clever!

461
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,426
He's clearly very advanced.

462
00:19:19,526 --> 00:19:20,993
Some people --
Holy shit!

463
00:19:21,093 --> 00:19:23,029
(grunting)

464
00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,404
Oh. Phew.
It's not blood.

465
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,506
That's just the polymer gel
from the suit's lining

466
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:38,911
that gives it its, you know,
alien...properties.

467
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:44,251
(grunting)

468
00:19:44,351 --> 00:19:46,386
(breathing heavily)

469
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,188
I see.

470
00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:52,091
The power of the costume
infected the skin suit, too,

471
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,893
so you had to strip it off
completely.

472
00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:55,127
Yeah.
Yeah. Sure.

473
00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:58,465
Ooh!

474
00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:01,033
(scatting rapidly)

475
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:02,902
♪♪

476
00:20:03,002 --> 00:20:06,138
Somebody needs some morphine.

477
00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:08,040
Ah!

478
00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:11,077
And what the hell?
Some for you, too.

479
00:20:11,177 --> 00:20:13,480
(scatting slows)

480
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:19,118
I love jazz!

481
00:20:19,218 --> 00:20:20,720
♪ Hey ♪

482
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:23,222
(Insects chirping)

483
00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:26,959
Okay. I'll admit it, Roger.
Your personas do matter.

484
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,261
Thanks, Stan.

485
00:20:28,361 --> 00:20:30,263
But you know what really matters
to me?

486
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:31,298
You.

487
00:20:31,398 --> 00:20:34,267
So from now on,
I'm gonna make more time for us.

488
00:20:34,367 --> 00:20:36,469
But how?
You have so much to do.

489
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,671
My body gave me a solution.

490
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:42,509
It sensed I had too much to do,
so that's why it gave me Rogu --

491
00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:44,344
to help take over
some of my workload.

492
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:46,078
That's something your race does?

493
00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:47,480
Apparently.

494
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,449
Brock, what's up with you today?

495
00:20:49,549 --> 00:20:51,951
We're dying here.
What's the play?

496
00:20:52,051 --> 00:20:54,020
(crowd cheering)

497
00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:58,525
Rogu do bootleg.

498
00:20:58,625 --> 00:21:00,460
There's the old gunslinger!

499
00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:04,130
Bye!
Have a great time.