1
00:00:01,835 --> 00:00:03,104
[ Birds chirping ]

2
00:00:03,204 --> 00:00:06,707
Right now, the height
of bird-watching season,

3
00:00:06,807 --> 00:00:08,742
there's no place
I'd rather be, buddy.

4
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:10,378
Hundred percent, pal.

5
00:00:10,478 --> 00:00:13,114
Klaus invited me to his
black-belt ceremony today.

6
00:00:13,214 --> 00:00:14,448
Told him to stuff it.

7
00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:16,717
Whoa! A common
brown-breasted brownbird!

8
00:00:16,817 --> 00:00:18,886
You think that's cool?
Check your six!

9
00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:21,855
Two common
brown-breasted brownbirds!

10
00:00:21,955 --> 00:00:25,459
And coming in slow from
the east, eight more CBBBs!

11
00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:27,861
And a crow!
And a blue jay!

12
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:31,099
And a Russian spy satellite
falling through the atmosphere!

13
00:00:31,199 --> 00:00:34,435
It struck a blimp!
The blimp is out of control!

14
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:37,438
The blimp is careening
towards the power plant!

15
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:38,539
[ Tapping ]

16
00:00:38,639 --> 00:00:39,940
Birds, Steve.

17
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,442
A pigeon!

18
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,311
[ Boom! ]

19
00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:46,380
[ Gasps ]
A scarlet tanager!

20
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,416
The one
we've been waiting for.

21
00:00:48,516 --> 00:00:50,551
Truly a precious moment.

22
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:54,655
What the --

23
00:00:54,755 --> 00:00:57,491
Is that man stealing
those bird eggs?

24
00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:01,795
Quick, we have to
follow him!

25
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,831
Something terrible
is happening here!

26
00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:05,833
BOTH:
* Bird-watchin' buddies

27
00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:09,337
* Take it slow 'cause they're
the bird-watchin' buddies *

28
00:01:09,437 --> 00:01:12,673
* And you know
that wherever they go *

29
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:14,442
* They gon' be watchin'
dem birds! *

30
00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:18,679
[ Dramatic music plays ]

31
00:01:18,779 --> 00:01:21,182
[ Whispers ]
There he is!

32
00:01:21,282 --> 00:01:24,185
[ Dramatic music plays ]

33
00:01:24,285 --> 00:01:26,654
[ All gasp ]

34
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:30,023
Oh, my God.
What's going on here?

35
00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:33,761
Oh, my God. I frickin' sat
on an anthill again.

36
00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:35,629
There are ants
all over me.

37
00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:39,167
There are literally ants going
in and out of my dang mouth.

38
00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:41,001
Is there even
one on you?

39
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:44,438
Those weirdos inside are really
into eggs, though, huh?

40
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:47,208
**

41
00:01:47,308 --> 00:01:50,178
* Good morning, U.S.A.

42
00:01:50,278 --> 00:01:53,514
* I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day *

43
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:56,650
* The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face *

44
00:01:56,750 --> 00:02:01,054
* And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race *

45
00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:06,327
* Oh, boy, it's swell to say

46
00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:08,796
* Good --
* Good morning, U.S.A.

47
00:02:08,896 --> 00:02:09,863
Aah!

48
00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:14,468
* Good morning, U.S.A.

49
00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,737
[ Sirens wail ]

50
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:18,672
[ Indistinct conversations ]

51
00:02:18,772 --> 00:02:20,974
Armed robbery in progress
at the Bobby Freeze!

52
00:02:21,074 --> 00:02:23,211
This damn five-eight-eight
bit me, Sarge!

53
00:02:23,311 --> 00:02:25,012
You're gonna need
a shot, piggy!

54
00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:26,013
[ Chomping ]

55
00:02:26,113 --> 00:02:27,515
[ Grunts ]

56
00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:29,817
Unh-unh. Unh-unh.

57
00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:31,084
He's got a gun!

58
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:32,186
Get down!

59
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:33,521
-[ Screaming ]
-Run!!

60
00:02:33,621 --> 00:02:35,356
-I want my lawyer!
-Drop the gun now!

61
00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:37,758
-And I want my wife back!
-I will put you down, man!

62
00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:40,394
I swear to God,
I will put you down!

63
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,530
We saw a man
steal a bird egg.

64
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:43,731
[ Silence ]

65
00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:46,066
Get the [bleep]
out of here!

66
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,536
Are you [bleep] crazy?
Get the [bleep] out!

67
00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:51,705
And I think we'll need
to talk to your superior

68
00:02:51,805 --> 00:02:53,341
about that language.

69
00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:58,011
His language was even more
offensive than that other man's.

70
00:02:58,111 --> 00:02:59,880
Where are good citizens
supposed to go

71
00:02:59,980 --> 00:03:01,449
to report
egg-related crimes?

72
00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:03,083
Oh, you boys got
an egg problem?

73
00:03:03,183 --> 00:03:06,254
Go to the Oology Department
at Groff College.

74
00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:09,122
Ask for
Professor Elizabeth Hadley.

75
00:03:09,223 --> 00:03:12,526
She helped me identify a strange
egg I found on the bus.

76
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:15,095
[ Proudly ]
It was a Cadbury egg.

77
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,898
Thank you. You've been
a very helpful prostitute.

78
00:03:17,998 --> 00:03:21,635
Prostitute?! How dare you!
I was doing insider trading!

79
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,537
And I got that
on tape.

80
00:03:23,637 --> 00:03:26,740
You no-good kids
set me up!

81
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:28,909
Wait'll I get
my hands on you!

82
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:31,445
We gotta get out
of this police station!

83
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:36,550
Ooh, two for one
on Jalapeño Beefers.

84
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,752
That'd be a filling snack
for Steve and his friends

85
00:03:38,852 --> 00:03:40,421
after an afternoon
of roller-blading.

86
00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:42,055
[ Snaps fingers ]
Clip it.

87
00:03:42,155 --> 00:03:45,559
$1 off Bongiovanni brand
spaghetti sauce.

88
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:48,729
"Zesty Italian" flavor.
Hmm.

89
00:03:48,829 --> 00:03:51,999
What if I bought this sauce?
It's a good deal.

90
00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:55,002
And it might taste good.

91
00:03:55,102 --> 00:03:59,239
"Zesty"?
It sounds a little...wild.

92
00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:01,108
But I like your old sauce

93
00:04:01,208 --> 00:04:02,776
with the ketchup
and the apple slices.

94
00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:06,179
I've made my decision.
We're trying the sauce.

95
00:04:06,280 --> 00:04:08,416
[ Stan and Klaus scream ]

96
00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:14,822
...and then,
he held up the egg

97
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:17,291
and all the other men
had eggs, too.

98
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:18,526
Tell her about
the ants, Steve.

99
00:04:18,626 --> 00:04:19,760
[ Irritated ]
I'm not going to!

100
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:21,261
It's good you came to me.

101
00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:23,997
The man you saw
is Commodore Francis Stoat.

102
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,467
He leads a secret society
of hoarders

103
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:29,637
who illegally collect
endangered bird eggs.

104
00:04:29,737 --> 00:04:31,605
They call themselves...

105
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:34,775
the Order
of the Hand and Nest.

106
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:36,344
People collect eggs?

107
00:04:36,444 --> 00:04:38,278
I want to show you both
something.

108
00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:40,514
Boy, people collect
everything these days.

109
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,215
My cousin Ira
collects the panties

110
00:04:42,316 --> 00:04:44,117
of the different women
he's slept with.

111
00:04:44,217 --> 00:04:46,053
Isn't that dirty?
I think it's so dirty.

112
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:48,889
Do you think that's a good idea
for a cousin, Steve?

113
00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,458
[ Vault door clanks ]

114
00:04:50,558 --> 00:04:52,826
The Groff College
Egg Collection.

115
00:04:52,926 --> 00:04:55,329
We have to keep it
under such tight security

116
00:04:55,429 --> 00:04:57,698
because of the Order
of the Hand and Nest.

117
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,633
They're always trying
to sneak in here.

118
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:02,069
Just ask our air-conditioning
repairman. He knows.

119
00:05:02,169 --> 00:05:03,737
[ British accent ]
It's appalling.

120
00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:05,205
Exactly -- Wait!

121
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,007
You're not our
air-conditioning repairman!

122
00:05:07,107 --> 00:05:08,642
That's our air-conditioning
repairman!

123
00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:10,177
Ha-ha!

124
00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:13,681
Damn it!
That's what I was talking about!

125
00:05:13,781 --> 00:05:16,850
It's why I've formed a group
of volunteer egg protectors.

126
00:05:16,950 --> 00:05:19,086
It's our goal
to thwart the Order o--

127
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:21,889
Wait a minute. We don't even
have air conditioning!

128
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:23,691
Ha-ha!

129
00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:25,726
Why are these people
so into eggs?!

130
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,361
I mean,
they're just eggs.

131
00:05:27,461 --> 00:05:28,829
Everyone should be
into eggs.

132
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:31,532
Nature's most elegant
structure.

133
00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:35,403
In here, all life begins,
and all life ends.

134
00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:37,571
I believe we go back
into an egg when we die,

135
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,440
but where I choose
to protect the eggs,

136
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:41,842
the Order desires
only to collect them.

137
00:05:41,942 --> 00:05:45,278
They have...
the egg madness!

138
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:46,714
Egg madness?

139
00:05:46,814 --> 00:05:49,617
The overwhelming desire
to possess an egg.

140
00:05:49,717 --> 00:05:51,419
It's latent in all of us.

141
00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:54,955
The more we're around eggs,

142
00:05:55,055 --> 00:05:58,959
the more
we're likely to snap.

143
00:06:01,261 --> 00:06:02,896
I keep it under control,
though.

144
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:04,264
I still don't get it.

145
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,299
I don't get it, either.
I don't get...

146
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:10,738
...how I ever lived without
these wonderful, wonderful eggs!

147
00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:12,072
Son of a bitch.

148
00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:14,742
I got the egg madness,
y'all!

149
00:06:17,778 --> 00:06:18,912
[ Gong sounds ]

150
00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:21,415
Ah, yes,
the ceremonial gong

151
00:06:21,515 --> 00:06:24,284
I got from ZGallery
has been banged.

152
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,653
[ Polite applause ]

153
00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:27,387
The Order of the Hand and Nest

154
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:29,490
is happy to welcome
a new member.

155
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:31,324
Sinjin St. John,

156
00:06:31,425 --> 00:06:35,228
retired maritime lawyer
and avid egg collector.

157
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:38,966
Ooh. "Avid" is a
similar-sounding word

158
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:42,069
to "ovum,"
which means egg.

159
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:44,004
Yes. That was the joke.

160
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:46,974
[ Loud laughter ]

161
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:50,177
[ Indistinct conversations ]

162
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:52,513
I have an egg.
Would you like to see it?

163
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:54,515
You read my mind.

164
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:59,419
Well, would you look at that.
I'm in hog heaven over here.

165
00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:00,654
[ Gong sounds ]

166
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,289
A second gong?
Is that rare?

167
00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:05,659
-No, it happens every meeting.
-Ohh.

168
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,529
Well, it still feels like
I should be right in front!

169
00:07:08,629 --> 00:07:12,600
Behold the egg
of the loggerhead shrike.

170
00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:16,103
Let the de-yolking
commence!

171
00:07:16,203 --> 00:07:17,471
[ Clicks ]

172
00:07:17,571 --> 00:07:18,672
[ Light tapping ]

173
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,007
Careful.

174
00:07:20,107 --> 00:07:22,209
Nice and easy.

175
00:07:22,309 --> 00:07:24,211
Slowly.

176
00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:25,679
Real careful-like.

177
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,347
I know!

178
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,849
Eyes on the egg!
Don't get distracted!

179
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:31,885
[ Squelch! ]

180
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:35,623
The egg...

181
00:07:35,723 --> 00:07:38,191
is collected.

182
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,561
ALL: Ohh.

183
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,963
I know you all probably
need a second to reload,

184
00:07:43,063 --> 00:07:43,964
but I can go again.

185
00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:46,133
Not a brag, just a fact.

186
00:07:48,135 --> 00:07:49,469
[ Splat! ]

187
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:53,006
Zesty Italian.
It's Bongiovanni brand.

188
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:56,076
Just give it a try.

189
00:07:57,244 --> 00:07:58,912
[ Knife scrapes ]

190
00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:02,082
Lot of herbs in there.

191
00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:04,184
[ Sighs ]
I'll throw it away.

192
00:08:04,284 --> 00:08:06,419
No, no, no. No, no.
Be still.

193
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,558
**

194
00:08:10,658 --> 00:08:13,727
[ Muffled ] Mmm.
Good sauce, Ma.

195
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:15,596
Real good.

196
00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:18,165
Mmm. Mmm.

197
00:08:18,265 --> 00:08:20,400
Mmm. Mmm.

198
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,169
Mmm.

199
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:24,938
It's got some kick to it.

200
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:27,708
Oh! Some "cogliones!"

201
00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:29,376
-Mmm!
-Mmm!

202
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:32,245
It's getting hot and zesty
in here!

203
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:35,182
**

204
00:08:35,282 --> 00:08:37,450
By God,
I love this woman!

205
00:08:37,551 --> 00:08:40,688
Don't you muss my hair,
you big, dumb gorilla!

206
00:08:40,788 --> 00:08:43,223
I am a man
and you are a woman!

207
00:08:45,058 --> 00:08:47,294
Wow. Your parents
are so in love.

208
00:08:47,394 --> 00:08:48,962
I'm hearing this
from you?

209
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:51,364
You don't know if you're coming
or going! Get a job!

210
00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:53,033
Ugh! So help me,
I love this man!

211
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:54,702
Mmm.

212
00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:56,269
Mmm!

213
00:08:56,369 --> 00:09:00,107
[ Speaking Italian ]

214
00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:06,413
Great eggs, everybody!

215
00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:08,481
Did you --
Did you drive here?

216
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:09,750
Am I supposed to go?

217
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:12,452
Or are we gonna...
after party?

218
00:09:14,454 --> 00:09:17,591
So it's true.
You joined the Order.

219
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:20,594
Oh! Steve, you just missed
everyone, you goose!

220
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:23,731
I saw them. I saw everything.
Through the window.

221
00:09:23,831 --> 00:09:25,565
You should have tapped
on the glass.

222
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:27,467
I would have passed you
a deviled egg.

223
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,903
They were so good.
Though I've never had a bad one.

224
00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:31,939
-I'm mad at you, Roger!
-What?!

225
00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:34,975
These are the bad guys.
They steal eggs from birds!

226
00:09:35,075 --> 00:09:36,944
You used to care
about birds.

227
00:09:37,044 --> 00:09:39,079
And I still do.
Birds are great.

228
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:42,082
Don't forget, birds are
where the eggs come from.

229
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,852
Yes, but don't also
don't forget,

230
00:09:44,952 --> 00:09:47,254
eggs are where
the birds come from.

231
00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:48,922
Who cares about birds?!

232
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:51,158
We did.
Come on, Roger,

233
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,160
the tanagers
are still in the meadow.

234
00:09:53,260 --> 00:09:54,327
Pa-yuss.

235
00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:55,663
I won't just sit back

236
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:57,665
and let you get away
with stealing eggs.

237
00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:59,633
I don't care about
your threats, Steve.

238
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:02,002
I've got egg madness.
I'll do anything for an egg.

239
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:04,471
What do you want me to do?
Kiss a man? I'll do it!

240
00:10:04,571 --> 00:10:06,840
The madness drives me
to do it, Steve!

241
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,809
Get off my property!

242
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:10,711
Commodore!

243
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:13,113
[ Bird chirping ]

244
00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:14,982
I'm thrilled
you want to join

245
00:10:15,082 --> 00:10:17,184
the noble army of bird
defenders, Steve.

246
00:10:17,284 --> 00:10:21,689
Without further ado, I give
you...the Egg Protectors.

247
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:25,659
[ Coughing ]

248
00:10:25,759 --> 00:10:27,995
Your water heater
is smoking!

249
00:10:28,095 --> 00:10:29,830
We almost died!

250
00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,665
Steve, I'd like to
introduce you to --

251
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:33,133
I already know
these people.

252
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:34,868
Hi, Mr. Tuttle,
Mr. Hooper, Buckle.

253
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,671
Great. So, like I said,
we're a noble army of --

254
00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:40,207
Hello, Steve!
I'm sorry, he said hello,

255
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:42,542
and where I come from --
-Shut up! There's no time!

256
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,713
We have to stop the Order before
they snatch their next egg.

257
00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:48,749
And I have a hunch where
they might strike next.

258
00:10:48,849 --> 00:10:51,218
You guys know what rhymes
with "Thursday"?

259
00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:54,087
Nothing.

260
00:10:54,187 --> 00:10:56,890
It's Thursday Birdsday!

261
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,326
TUTTLE:
Birdsday, of course!

262
00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:02,696
Oh, we have got a shit-ton
of birds loose in the studio,

263
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:05,232
and our beefcake
animal handler, Scott,

264
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:07,434
is showing us
his avian friends.

265
00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:08,902
And his chest!

266
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:09,937
[ Rip! ]

267
00:11:10,037 --> 00:11:14,241
[ Cheers and applause ]

268
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:16,576
This bird is being weird.

269
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:17,711
Ahh!

270
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:20,714
She might be distressed.

271
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:22,582
She has a nest of eggs
backstage.

272
00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,285
Backstage.

273
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:27,254
Roger!

274
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:30,390
Sir, there's a man in there
who's stealing the eggs!

275
00:11:30,490 --> 00:11:33,026
It's only birds
in this room, kid.

276
00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:36,263
Okay, lovebirds, lovely.
Avocet, beautiful.

277
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,530
Mourning doves,
exquisite.

278
00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:38,799
A snake, kinda fat.

279
00:11:38,899 --> 00:11:40,100
Barn owl -- Hold on!

280
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,434
Roger?!

281
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,603
All right,
you caught me.

282
00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:47,074
But there's always next time,
SSSSteven.

283
00:11:47,174 --> 00:11:51,945
Hmm.
That is one sexy snake.

284
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,546
* I will have you

285
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,783
* Yes, I will have you

286
00:11:55,883 --> 00:11:57,751
* I will find a way

287
00:11:57,851 --> 00:11:59,753
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
* And I will have you

288
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:03,757
* Like a butterfly,
a wild butterfly *

289
00:12:03,857 --> 00:12:07,460
* I will collect you
and capture you *

290
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:09,729
* You are an obsession

291
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:12,432
* You're my obsession

292
00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:13,967
* Who do you want me to be

293
00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,236
* To make you sleep with me?

294
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:18,005
* You are an obsession

295
00:12:18,105 --> 00:12:19,940
* You're my obsession

296
00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:22,075
* Who do you want me to be

297
00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:24,344
* To make you sleep with me?

298
00:12:24,444 --> 00:12:27,280
[ Chuckles ]
Caught Steve nappin'.

299
00:12:27,380 --> 00:12:28,448
[ Splat! ]

300
00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:30,617
Are the eggs okay?

301
00:12:30,717 --> 00:12:31,785
Mervyn, I don't think...

302
00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:33,086
[ Splat! ]
...any of these...

303
00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:34,754
[ Splat! Splat! ]
...are eggs.

304
00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:36,990
Man, I'm having
the worst day.

305
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,592
And here come the ants.

306
00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:41,094
[ Crickets chirping ]

307
00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:44,264
Got a little something
on your face, buddy.

308
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:45,665
And I know for a fact...

309
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,200
it's not egg.

310
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:48,836
That's real cute, pal.

311
00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:51,204
[ Italian accent ]
Can't ya make peace? For mama?

312
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:54,141
I'm making a big
Sunday gravy.

313
00:12:54,241 --> 00:12:55,876
**

314
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:59,279
This is how
you get along.

315
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:03,350
You sit, you eat,
you're brothers.

316
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:07,054
I'm gonna crack you.
You're gonna be scrambling.

317
00:13:07,154 --> 00:13:08,221
You can't be everywhere.

318
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:09,656
The shell I can't --

319
00:13:09,756 --> 00:13:11,458
That's too many
egg things, Steve!

320
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:14,862
Your fighting, it breaks
my heart in two!

321
00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:16,629
[ Cellphone beeping ]

322
00:13:16,729 --> 00:13:18,365
I got to run.

323
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:20,400
[ Italian accent ]
The sauce is beautiful, Mama.

324
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:21,969
As good as Grandma's.

325
00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:24,004
You can tell her that
up in heaven

326
00:13:24,104 --> 00:13:25,705
when you get yourself
killed

327
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,575
doing whatever it is you're
doing out in the streets!

328
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:29,709
[ Thunk! ]

329
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,178
It's not
like that, Mama!

330
00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:32,312
[ Slurps ]

331
00:13:32,412 --> 00:13:34,147
You're killing
your mother.

332
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:39,519
The Protectors have never been
such a thorn in our side,

333
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:41,154
and their timing
couldn't be worse.

334
00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:43,756
I've received the news
we were waiting for.

335
00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:46,759
Haliaeetus Centurius,
the Century Eagle,

336
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:52,732
has returned to its nesting
grounds on Skoal Island.

337
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,701
[ Normal voice ]
Skull Island?!

338
00:13:54,801 --> 00:13:56,336
Like where King Kong
comes from?

339
00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:59,039
No, Skoal Island.
Like the chewing tobacco.

340
00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:01,274
Is that where
the chewing tobacco comes from?

341
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:02,876
No, they're unrelated.

342
00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:04,177
Oh.

343
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:05,845
Well, then, tell me more
about the egg.

344
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:09,849
The Century Eagle only lays it
once every 100 years.

345
00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:12,252
It's the rarest egg
in the world.

346
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:14,254
Hmm. Rarest.

347
00:14:14,354 --> 00:14:16,789
I think we should, and hear me
out on this, fellas,

348
00:14:16,890 --> 00:14:18,391
collect this egg.

349
00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:20,093
But what about
the Protectors?

350
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,562
And this terrifying boy
that's galvanized them?

351
00:14:22,662 --> 00:14:24,531
He keeps defeating us!

352
00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:26,099
In the field, yes.

353
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,801
But what if we got him...
in the nest?

354
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:31,538
Huddle up.
Here's the plan...

355
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:34,141
Why is no one
huddling with me?

356
00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:36,876
Is it because I've been chewing
on salami like it's gum?

357
00:14:36,977 --> 00:14:39,279
All right,
I'm coming over there.

358
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:42,615
JULIUS LA ROSA:
* Chi si sona? You viulinu

359
00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:46,419
* E comu si sona,
you mandolinu? *

360
00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:48,288
* A pling a pling,
you mandulin *

361
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:49,923
* Tu tu, tu tu, you saxofona

362
00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:51,458
[ Whistles ]

363
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:53,126
* You friscalette,
tipiti, tipiti, tam *

364
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,728
[ Tink! ]
[ Laughing ]

365
00:14:55,828 --> 00:14:57,597
I am bushed.

366
00:14:57,697 --> 00:15:00,767
Staking out nests for hours,
didn't see the Order once.

367
00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:02,169
I'm gonna turn in.

368
00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:03,670
[ Italian accent ]
Who's stoppin' you?!

369
00:15:03,770 --> 00:15:04,972
Pfft!

370
00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:07,840
Then go!
Go play crazy eights all night

371
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:09,776
with your no-good
knockaround buddies!

372
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:11,644
Get off my back!

373
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,613
You wonder why
I don't wanna be around?!

374
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:16,249
You're on the phone with Brenda
for three hours

375
00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:18,952
every time I want to be
with you in the bedroom!

376
00:15:19,052 --> 00:15:22,089
You're boys, all of you!
Little boys!

377
00:15:22,189 --> 00:15:26,326
KLAUS: Hayley, we're listenin'
to Julius La Rosa. Shut up!

378
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:29,862
Ahh!

379
00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:31,531
What are you
doing here?!

380
00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,266
You were getting
in the way,

381
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:35,368
and we can't have you ruining
things on Skoal Island,

382
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:37,304
so we're bringing you
along as a hostage.

383
00:15:37,404 --> 00:15:38,538
Tie him up!

384
00:15:38,638 --> 00:15:39,973
Don't do this!

385
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:43,610
Mom! Help!
I'm being taken to Skoal Island!

386
00:15:43,710 --> 00:15:46,046
FRANCINE: If ya going out
to that Skoal Island,

387
00:15:46,146 --> 00:15:47,714
ya gotta eat
somethin' first!

388
00:15:47,814 --> 00:15:49,649
I'm being kidnapped!

389
00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:53,520
If ya gettin' kidnapped,
ya gotta eat somethin' first!

390
00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,722
I'm gonna plate up
some spagoot!

391
00:15:58,891 --> 00:16:01,561
[ Foghorn blows ]

392
00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:04,031
How beautiful
is this ship, Steve?

393
00:16:04,131 --> 00:16:05,232
It's the Commodore's.

394
00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:06,866
He won it
on "The Price is Right."

395
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,968
You're not gonna
get away with this.

396
00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:12,139
I snuck on a walkie-talkie and
alerted the other Protectors.

397
00:16:12,239 --> 00:16:14,341
How did you sneak on
a walkie-talkie?

398
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:16,509
I did repeated
full-cavity searches!

399
00:16:16,609 --> 00:16:18,545
It was in my pocket.

400
00:16:18,645 --> 00:16:20,847
[ Snaps fingers ]
What a dirty trick.

401
00:16:20,947 --> 00:16:22,715
The Protectors
are on their way.

402
00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:25,152
HADLEY: Hey, Steve.
Professor Hadley.

403
00:16:25,252 --> 00:16:28,655
Got your SOS. Not gonna be
able to make it, though.

404
00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:31,358
Long story short,
Tuttle and I...

405
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:33,226
are dating!

406
00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:36,029
I never in a million years
thought I'd find love again.

407
00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:38,365
You know, there comes a time
in every woman's life

408
00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,900
when she decides
she will no longer

409
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,436
let herself be defined
by her hepatitis.

410
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,372
TUTTLE: Hepatitis?!

411
00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:47,840
Now let's see what other
contraband you've got on you.

412
00:16:47,940 --> 00:16:49,409
[ Snap! ]
Ow!

413
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:52,112
Commodore?
I did it again!

414
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:57,050
There it is.

415
00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:58,918
Oh, my God.
Skoal Island!

416
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,854
Commodore!
It's Skoal Island, Commodore!

417
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:04,224
-Commodore!
-I know!

418
00:17:09,129 --> 00:17:11,231
So where's the Century Eagle's
nest, anyway?

419
00:17:11,331 --> 00:17:12,532
Is it under this rock?

420
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:14,434
There, atop that peak.

421
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,736
The only tree
on the island.

422
00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:23,976
**

423
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:27,214
Egg!

424
00:17:27,314 --> 00:17:30,317
TOGETHER:
[ Chanting ] Egg! Egg!

425
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,885
Gentlemen, gentlemen.
Egg!

426
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:35,788
This is truly a momentous
occasion for the Order.

427
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:39,592
On this remote isle,
we procure our final egg,

428
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:42,829
and, at last,
complete our collection.

429
00:17:42,929 --> 00:17:44,297
We have all the eggs?

430
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:45,798
Do we have a turkey egg?

431
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:49,836
But first...a small act
of murder.

432
00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:51,471
You got it, boss!

433
00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:52,672
Yahhh!

434
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:53,973
No! The boy!

435
00:17:54,073 --> 00:17:56,276
-Oh, my God! Me?!
-Wait, what?

436
00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:59,912
We can't risk him interfering
like he always does.

437
00:18:01,448 --> 00:18:04,784
You guys are weirdos,
not murderers!

438
00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:08,688
We're about to be both.
Let the de-yolking commence.

439
00:18:08,788 --> 00:18:10,257
[ Razor buzzing ]

440
00:18:10,357 --> 00:18:13,693
Aah! Y-You need to charge
the battery, it's pulling!

441
00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:17,364
Let me talk you
through the procedure.

442
00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:20,367
It'll be completely painless
until I start.

443
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:24,003
We'll make a small hole
in the base of your skull --

444
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,773
Come on! Forget Steve!
Look at that beautiful egg!

445
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:30,443
How can you wait?
So rare! So precious!

446
00:18:30,543 --> 00:18:34,381
It could be ours.
It could be...mine.

447
00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:39,286
Only I would know
the secret song of its shell.

448
00:18:39,386 --> 00:18:43,623
Roger, no! Save me!
I'm going to die!

449
00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:48,295
Oh, my life.
It's flashing before my eyes.

450
00:18:48,395 --> 00:18:52,899
**

451
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:57,570
**

452
00:18:57,670 --> 00:19:02,242
**

453
00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:06,913
**

454
00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:11,584
**

455
00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:16,323
**

456
00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:21,328
**

457
00:19:21,428 --> 00:19:23,530
[ Wailing ]

458
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:28,235
What the hell
is in that sauce?

459
00:19:28,335 --> 00:19:30,002
ROGER: I got it!

460
00:19:30,102 --> 00:19:32,205
Haliaeetus Centurius.

461
00:19:32,305 --> 00:19:33,606
[ All gasp ]

462
00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:36,108
Laid once
every 100 years.

463
00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:38,044
I'm sorry it's come to this,
Steve,

464
00:19:38,144 --> 00:19:41,013
but this egg means more to me
than anything in the world.

465
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:44,183
[ Smooches ]

466
00:19:44,284 --> 00:19:46,353
Almost.

467
00:19:46,453 --> 00:19:48,187
COMMODORE:
No! You fool!

468
00:19:48,288 --> 00:19:51,591
ALL:
Egg, egg, egg, egg, egg,

469
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:54,694
egg, egg, egg, egg, egg, egg.

470
00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:59,031
Egg, egg, egg, egg, egg, egg.
egg, egg, egg, egg, egg.

471
00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:02,769
[ Screaming ]

472
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:05,071
[ Wind howling ]

473
00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:06,873
Well, no harm,
no foul, Steve.

474
00:20:06,973 --> 00:20:08,608
That egg!

475
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,543
[ Crack! ]

476
00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:12,879
I need it!

477
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:15,482
Oh, great.
Now Steve's got the egg madness.

478
00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:18,150
Steve, it's only an egg.
It's not worth --

479
00:20:18,251 --> 00:20:20,920
Although, wow.
You're actually pretty close.

480
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,822
I'll give you some slack,
then try grabbing it.

481
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:24,757
Lunge if you have to!
Give it your everything!

482
00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:25,958
We need that egg!

483
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,093
[ Boing! ]

484
00:20:27,193 --> 00:20:28,461
BOTH: Nooooooooooooo!

485
00:20:28,561 --> 00:20:30,563
You asshole!

486
00:20:31,798 --> 00:20:34,667
[ Triumphant music plays ]

487
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:36,936
[ Eagle screeches ]

488
00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:40,407
**

489
00:20:40,507 --> 00:20:43,843
**

490
00:20:43,943 --> 00:20:48,981
Wow.
The Century Eagle.

491
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,518
We'll put in in the ledger
when we get home.

492
00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:53,686
* Bird-watchin' buddies

493
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:57,023
* Take it slow 'cause they're
the bird-watchin' buddies *

494
00:20:57,123 --> 00:21:00,192
* And you know
that wherever they go *

495
00:21:00,293 --> 00:21:02,161
* They gon' be watchin'
dem birds! *

496
00:21:02,261 --> 00:21:04,196
Have a great night!

497
00:21:06,299 --> 00:21:08,000
-- Captions by VITA --